athenasashes

[athenasashes]

Uk i didnt realize how bad my last breakup affected me

Im just realizing that im relapsing into yet another self destructive phase, over sexualizing myself and looking for love in all the wrong places

I dont know if im ganna come out of this one

[athenasashes]

Ive gotten to the point where i can no longer just vent to people because its the same shit over and over again but what they dont understand is that i physically can't stop it i cant im stuck and im tired and im tired and im tired

Im tired too

Of my own bullshit

[athenasashes]

It happened again

The cycle

The meeting someone them being perfect me feelinf safe and happy

Then their energy shifts one day and slowly they disappear

And im alone again

[athenasashes]

God i hate myself and my impulsive decisions

[athenasashes]

I want to be alone

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Spiraling

I wish i could live without any human interactions at all

[athenasashes]

Ive always heard stories about dangerous men out there but ive never encountered one until tonight and I've never felt the terror and the anxiety of it firsthand. He followed us for and hour in the dark and when we confronted him screamed at him no one even batted an eye or gave a flying fuck. I thought beinf in public was safe but its not no one gives a shit about girls in the dark. I will never walk without looking over my shoulder again waiting for him to randomly reappear again. Ive never felt less safe its such a fucked up world out there. And ik theyd blame us for being outside in the dark.

[athenasashes]

It sucks when ur so excited to see someone or talk to them and realize the excitement isnt mutual

[athenasashes]

How is it fair that other people smoothly deal with inconveniences throughout the the day without it affecting their day much but one minor inconvenience and im spiraling into a 3 week depressive episode

[athenasashes]

I wanna stop existing but i dont wanna die but i wanna stop existing

[athenasashes]

I wish people thought about their actions twice before doing them

I wish theyd consider others feelings

I hate mean people

[athenasashes]

Why is it so hard??? What the fuck???????

[athenasashes]

I wish they loved me just a little more

[athenasashes]

Charlene is my psychiatrist 🤪🤪🤪

[athenasashes]

having bpd really makes me feel like a monster

[athenasashes]

I literally constantly need something to be obsessed with, wheter it's a show/band/person etc or else i have no motivation or purpose to live

Like being obsessed is what keeps me going

[athenasashes]