asterinunfathomed

[asterinunfathomed]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[asterinunfathomed]

@bujo world...

What do you guys do for habit tracking? The traditional habit trackers haven't worked for me ever, but I know I need to keep a track of how often I do things or else I just wouldn't. Do you have any tips? How do you all stay consistent?

[asterinunfathomed]

ーちょっと実用的に、ノート

[asterinunfathomed]

I am back only to rant about how West-centric (Eurocentric in particular) psychology is, and also how hard it tries to be secular, cutting off so many major viewpoints and perspectives only because it refuses to acknowledge spirituality and souls and religious philosophies.

I can't form coherent sentences though. Too enraged. Anybody wanna continue the thread and rant with me?

[asterinunfathomed]

Contemplating reviving my Studyblr to motivate me to study. Are Studyblrs even releavnt anymore?

[asterinunfathomed]

whatever you expect of me.. unexpect it

[asterinunfathomed]

Weird urge to live the studyblr life

[asterinunfathomed]

[asterinunfathomed]

starting arabic all over again. my handwriting is so clumsy but the letters and words feel like coming home...

[asterinunfathomed]

Your girl has been procrastinating studying for the upcoming exam for the past 3 days because they gave a long gap so I can't get myself to take it seriously.

Also your girl wanted to read something but she didn't want to read something new because then she would get more distracted than she already was and also she had been wanting to read Six of Crows again so she decided to reread it. What a bad decision, now I can't put it down.

Also your girl needs to stop calling herself "your girl" cuz I just cringed myself while typing that.

[asterinunfathomed]

Why is D-Y-L-A-N "Dill-en" but W-Y-L-A-N not "will-en" (pronounced as villain)?????

Literally every single one of my friends who read SoC called him 'villain' and now everybody has bittersweet feelings about season 2 because we will finally see Wylan (!!!) But he will be called "why-len" (???)

[asterinunfathomed]

OKAY I have a rant.

So about 2-3 years ago, I got really interested in all those study and productivity videos on YouTube. Because they make it so aesthetic and so appealing to have the utmost productivity and have goals that you work towards, I wanted to try it all too. I even made a Studyblr. If you are here, you already probably know that.

I fell into this trap of wanting to wake up early, have a healthy breakfast, go for a walk, meditate, then sit down to do my work, to plan my day and work according to my plan.

But it was very difficult to actually have that life that Studytubers have. You see, most of these people lived alone, whether in an apartment of their own or in college/uni. They lived their life according to their whims and fancies, they did what they wanted to do at any given point of time. Their life was entirely in their hands, they lived for their own selves.

I lived at home (of course, I was still in school). I could not eat what I wanted whenever I wanted, because my mother is not my personal maid to be doing things as I wish. I could not go outside to walk in a park, because unfortunately I don't live near one and my parents were never gonna allow me to just be walking on the streets of Delhi. I could not plan my day and then follow through with that plan entirely, because something or the other always came up- some guest showed up, dad needed help, mom needed help, my sister needed help, somebody needed the room that I study in for other purposes. And everytime my plan was disrupted, I would get more and more frustrated. (Of course, I had never shared my plan with my family so its not their fault for asking me to do something when they don't know that in my head I have decided that I will be doing something else at that point.)

It took me quite a while to realise what the problem here was. All those people on YouTube were living either in America or Europe. Those are all individualistic cultures. For anybody who doesn't know, individualistic cultures are those where the self is seen as more important than the society/community. I live in India, and like most Asian nations, we are also a collectivistic culture, which means we give more importance to the society than the self. This brings about various major changes. I will give you an example from Psychology because I just studied it. In a research it was found that Japanese and American students associated different circumstances with a general positive state. While the American students allocated the cause of their positive feeling to something individual and socially-disengaged, for example pride in their achievements, the Japanese students linked it with a friendly and socially engaged feeling.

Point is, it took me some time to understand that I don't live in a culture that values a life lived only for yourself. And to be honest, I don't even want to live that life. My life is not entirely my own, to be lived only and only for myself. I live for the people around me- my parents, my sister, my friends. I cannot expect people to to leave me be 100% of the time, especially not when I literally live at home with three other people. I cannot always be "I, Me, Myself" when there are people around me who will be affected by my actions and behaviours.

And my attraction towards that specific lifestyle was ruining my relationship with my family and my own mood and mental health, because I came to see my family as a burden and something that suffocates me and hinders my growth, without understanding that the people who I was aspiring to be are leading a very different life from mine.

I know I might be coming off as complimenting individualistic cultures, but I am not. Trust me, the idea of being so focused on yourself that your entire life revolves only around you is so bizarre to me. The idea that people will value anything above their families is so alien to me. I live for the people around me willingly, and I do not want to adopt a way of life that will devalue the people I love and care about.

The point of all this is that I am still trying to tell myself that it is okay if I don't have a morning routine and drink smoothies and have a pre-planned timetable. I don't have to punish myself for not being able to do all of that, or blame my family for it. It's not either one or the other. Just because other people are following a certain lifestyle doesn't mean it is going to fit into the way I live as well. It is okay that the people around me need my help sometimes, I am more than honoured to do it. And it is okay if my mother calls me for dinner when I am in the middle of an intense study session. I can explain it to her without having to make it a big deal and cry to myself in my journal. It is a small journey of accepting my life as being good and satisfactory instead of aspiring for something that has only ever given me trouble.

Idk if this is a reminder or a rant or a lesson or a story, but if you read till the end. Wow.

I downloaded Tumblr only because I wanted to say this but I didn't know where to say it, so now imma go back to studying. Bye.

[asterinunfathomed]

Your girl tackled the political science assignment, well half of it. Now I just have to edit the entire thing and submit it!

Also I just realised that the topic is "BRICS and India". The India subheading of my assignment is taking only 1 out of the 8 pages.🤦🏽‍♀️ Maybe I will elaborate using fancy words to increase the words there.

Also here is a hug to the professors who allow typed assignments (I am not a big fan of this prof so the idea of hugging him is cringing me, but at least he didn't force us to write OR give us any concrete deadline!)

[asterinunfathomed]

I spent my last three days reading the seven husbands of evelyn hugo instead of doing my political science assignment, so if anybody has any thoughts to share on that book, you are more than welcome, i wanna figure out the chaos in my head and make my thoughts abt this book more coherent, so tell me, how did you like the book? What do you think of evelyn hugo? Also who is your favourite chracter from the books, somebody you would like to know irl?

[asterinunfathomed]

please do, this way I will get more book recs

Ask me any book title?

added to TBR | on my TBR | couldn’t finish it | did not enjoy | it was OK | liked it | loved it | favorite | not interested

[asterinunfathomed]

College life this, college life that

I am spending my college life in my blanket on a screen

[asterinunfathomed]

That scene from Eternals where Druig says "My beautiful, beautiful Makkari" not only lives, but has repeated screenings in my mind, rent-free