askdelphine-cormier

[askdelphine-cormier]

Bonjour Delphine. When and why did you start learning how to use a gun? Amicalement, "Rimbaud".

I think “learning to use” may be a stretch. I purchased one around the time that I, euh...got into bed with topside. The best friend of a double agent is paranoia, you know. It had, until recently, merely been a comfort. A thing to ease my mind. The rest? It was more a...”point, shoot, and hope for the best” situation.

[askdelphine-cormier]

[askdelphine-cormier]

The bite in Cosima’s voice tore like nails against her chest, and the flash of fury in her eyes didn’t make it any easier. But then again, when had Cosima ever let her down easy with anything?

But at the mention of the Castor clones, her throat closed, not because of guilt or remorse, but out of curiosity. She pressed her lips together to hold off all the questions she felt bubbling up. Her mouth was literally forming a question before she could even get ahold of herself. “Did she say what he came here for?”

Her gut twisted and she looked away. Was she stupid? What did Cosima care? She raked her fingers through her hair, tousling it to hide her shaking fingers. She opened her mouth, looked back to Cosima, I’m sorry hanging so heavily on her lips she wasn’t even sure she had the strength to say them. She only managed a hard exhale. 

She should just leave.

But her feet felt cemented to the floor and the light from the front door looked like it was miles away. Maybe there was no escaping Cosima Niehaus.

Start All Over || Cophine (closed)

Cosima tried to look somewhere else, anywhere else but at Delphine, who looked uncertain about her purpose of being there. A sudden rush of anger climbed all the way to her own ears, red, hot, rage, wanting to let her know how unfair it was to leaving her like that, leaving her after Cosima almost died and came back to life while hallucinating those blonde curls lowering themselves on her pale, lifeless face.

 Yet, Cosima tried to hide it, and she hoped that it was successful to at least some degree. It wasn’t.

Her eyes traveled to the bloody handkerchief on the counter, and she exhaled, still feeling the tightness in her chest from time to time. Whether it was the disease or the suffocating feeling that never left her in the past two days, Cosima could not say.

“She…um.” Cosima’s hand flew to her forehead and she scratched it uncertainly. “She has some broken ribs, she was badly hurt by one of the Castor clones.” Finally finding courage, Cosima’s eyes met Delphine’s. “You.. wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you, Delphine?” It was a jab, and it was a low one, but Cosima couldn’t help herself. 

[askdelphine-cormier]

I warned you this was personal.

[askdelphine-cormier]

She watched Cosima sway, and for a moment she reached out, prepared to steady her with a hand to the small of her back, but before she actually could, she forced herself to recoil, balling her hands into fists by her side. If Cosima had not let her care for her as a girlfriend, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know how she would react now that they were...whatever they were.

Biting her lip, she glanced about the room, trying hard to look anywhere but at Cosima. In the process, she noticed the complete disarray of the house. Overturned funiture, bloody rags... She forced herself to look back at the woman leaning against the counter, shoulder hunched, and her heart kicked against her chest in a mix of pity and regret, and the question spilled out of her before she could stop it. “Is...everything alright?”

She realized how vague it sounded only after a long pause of silence, and a multitude of possible misinterpretations crashed through her mind so violently all she could hear were the possibilities of Cosima verbally tearing her apart like all the other confrontations they had faced.

“I, euhh, I meant to say is...is Siobhan alright? What...happened here?”

She glanced around once more, clasping her hands in front of her to keep from fidgetting like she always seemed to around this woman.

Start All Over || Cophine (closed)

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything, okay?”

It was the first time Cosima felt at peace in a while, staying at Siobhan’s house. Both of them needed healing, in both ways than one, and never did Cosima think that she would actually hang out with the person who brought Sarah up. It would have been cool, in a way, had it not been for the circumstances. However, the first threat has passed, for now, and Cosima decided to lay low with Felix, who instead dropped her off at Mrs. S’. 

Sarah’s foster mother had just took her painkillers and went out when Cosima went to the kitchen to get herself some tea, her mind somewhere far away… and definitely not on the blonde tall French woman who dumped her only two days before. Yes, Cosima understood the reason, and yes, she was aware how their relationship could mess up everything for all of her sisters, but it still hurt like a bitch.

It can only be understood then that Cosima thought that she was hallucinating Delphine’s voice when the door opened, panic rising in her at once. She moved to the side a little to take a peek at the intruder, and a second later her heart sunk in her chest before it started beating just a bit too fast for her still weak body to handle. She leaned on the counter.

 “Delphine…” Her voice was both cold and weak at the same time, and she hated it. But before she could ask, the blonde answered, causing Cosima to exhale. “She’s… she’s not here. Sarah and S had some kind of a fallout, I don’t think she’ll be returning here any time soon.”

[askdelphine-cormier]

Start All Over || Cophine (closed)

Delphine was to the elevator when she remembered she had one more thing to tell Sarah, but when she doubled back, Sarah was long gone. She sighed, putting her hand to her forehead. She had known Sarah was a handful. What she hadn’t known was that she would have to manage this handful who, as far as she could tell, had never been managed in her three decades of life.

She pushed her fingers through her hair, looking around the room. Where would Sarah go? Someplace safe, but...where? Her mind flashed briefly to Felix’s residence but the thought of standing in that hallway, having Cosima open that door again, she had to bend over to get air into her lungs. She couldn’t go back there.

Pressing her lips together, she stood back up, decision made. She would try Siobhan’s instead. 

She could feel the rest of the day bubbling up in her throat, a mixture between sickness and tears, but she pushed it down, shook her head. She had done what was necessary. Necessary. Swallowing thickly, she put on her best face of resolve, and headed for the elevator again.

The drive to Siobhan’s house was too long. Too quiet and alone. No distractions from anything. She ignored Rachel’s pleas ringing empty echoes in her ears as she gripped the steering wheel for the turn down Siobhan’s street. She threw the car in park, hopped out, and went straight for the front door.

She knocked once, and the door opened just a little on its own. A twinge of panic jolted in her chest, and she pushed it open a little wider. “Hello?” she called, one foot already in the door. “Siobhan?”

The living room was empty, and the lights upstairs were dark. Frowning, she walked down the narrow hallway, turning the corner only to come face to face with Cosima. She felt like someone punched her right in the chest, and all words left her with her sharp exhale. She stumbled for something to say, anything really to hide the dread she felt dripping ice down her veins.

“C-cosima, I was just...looking for Sarah.”

She cringed. Merde. Wasn’t that the last thing she had said to her?

[askdelphine-cormier]

Hello, everyone. 

I must apologize for my absence, leaving you all out in the dark was not fair of me. Due to some...personal and professional reasons I had to take some time for myself. But I am back, and all of you can feel free to ask me anything you wish.

[askdelphine-cormier]

[askdelphine-cormier]

Hi Delphine. I just wanted to say that I'm sure it must be horrible being separated from Cosima, but it's obvious that Sarah, Alison, Felix and co all love her very much, I'm sure they'll look after her for you. And when all this DYAD stuff is over you can go back to Toronto, and I'm sure you'll find they've kept her safe. Be strong xxx

I have all the faith in the world that they love her and will take care of her, but I also have all the fear in the world that the DYAD will keep her from manufacturing a kind of treatment. I do not want them to ever use her as leverage, that is all. I hate that they...that they see her as a piece of some clone puzzle when she is her own entity. Her own unique being with her unique case and all Rachel sees her as is a means to get to Sarah. All Leekie saw her as was a key to solve what he could not.

And I am sick of her being any less than any of them when in reality she is greater than all of them. Greater and stronger and smarter than all of them, including me.

[askdelphine-cormier]

Merde. Germany is lonely. And...and I am too scared to talk to anyone in case they work for Rachel and...

I had only just forgotten what being alone felt like and now I am right back whehre I started. Please feel free to keep me company, tout le monde. Ask me some questions maybe? About Cosima or myself or euh, well, anything. Anything to keep my mind occupied for a little.

Maybe it will even keep me from worrying about her.

[askdelphine-cormier]

First Contact - email

To: petit chiot

Chérie,

I am sorry for the rather impersonal email I sent you earlier. Everything was so last minute; in the midst of throwing away all my technology I wanted you to at least know where I was going, and that I was not deserting you. I wish I could better explain to you what happened but I myself do not fully understand. I was removed from any clone contact. I’m working at some…low tech auxiliary of the DYAD here in Frankfurt. Drug manufacturing, mindless research and lab work.

That is not why I am contacting you, though, mon amour. I wanted to tell you that I do not care what the DYAD says. I do not wish to cease communication with you. I do not wish to give up on us, if you still want there to be an us, bien sur. I, more than anything else, want to see if we could maybe make this…this long distance, work.

I hope you can forgive me for my mistakes, both intentional and otherwise, and I hope you can forgive me for getting on that plane. I did not know who was watching, who cared that I be elsewhere from you. Even now, I do not know who is listening. And chérie, I am scared. But I will never leave you. I will always, at the least, be your ally. That is my promise. Anything you need, anything you want, I will do my best to fulfill from over here.

Please use this email address from now on; no one knows of its existence yet. I will buy a new phone (one the DYAD did not give me) and give you that too. As for my home address, I am not sure I feel comfortable sending that over email. Plus I am not sure I will be staying at my current location for too long. The landlord is what you might call a sketchy creep.

I think that is all there is to say right now, sadly. I send you my best wishes, and hope for your recovery. You are strong, chérie, and I know you can pull through this; I just wish more than anything I could be there to hold your hand in support.

All my love,

DC

[askdelphine-cormier]

Oui. Oui, you are still here my cheeky girl; of course I will still be your optimist. Mais, euh, I am not much a fan of those nose tubes. They are...how would you say? Cock-blockers?

Cosima just died. You failed her Delphine.

I do not understand under what circumstances this would be funny. Is my life a joke to you? My love is dying and everything I do just makes things worse no matter how hard I try.

I’m glad you think it’s worth making jokes about.

[askdelphine-cormier]

Cosima just died. You failed her Delphine.

I do not understand under what circumstances this would be funny. Is my life a joke to you? My love is dying and everything I do just makes things worse no matter how hard I try.

I'm glad you think it's worth making jokes about.

[askdelphine-cormier]

DELPHINE please don't let Cosima die!

I am trying my best, anonymous. Really, I am.

But I fear that if I try any harder I will have no allies left, Cosima included. They...they do not want me, alors...there is not much else I can do.

[askdelphine-cormier]

Delphine return to us, we know you're busy with saving Cosima's life but we want to hear it's going to be ok from your mouth!

Desole, desole, tout le monde, it has been a stressful few weeks. As for Cosima's condition, I cannot say. I...I do not trust anyone anymore; we can only hope that Ethan was true to his word, oui?

[askdelphine-cormier]

Cosima is such a babe!! I would never be able to keep my hands off her!

I have difficulty with that myself, ouais.

If you have any solutions to this problem, please share them with me. For I have not yet come up with a proper way to control myself.

[askdelphine-cormier]

oh mon dieu, cherie, they are onto us.

IS THIS A JOKE