ashesonpaper

[ashesonpaper]

A couple of our servers have gotten a bit overwhelmed, so we're taking some down time to give them a chance to catch up. We'll be back as soon as possible!

2024-09-02 11:30 UTC

[ashesonpaper]

My dentist is fucking savage

Him: (hands me a box of floss) “You know what this is called?”

Me: “…floss?”

Him: “No. It’s called ‘no excuse’.”

[ashesonpaper]

nah the way i choked so fucking hard i’m still recovering

[ashesonpaper]

Who do you think would win in a fight between The Boneturner and Mr bonzo?

Why on earth would they fight? That's the steamiest romance of 2025.

[ashesonpaper]

NO WAIT I WANNA BE THE OLD GAY COUPLE RESCUING LITTLE GAYS

[ashesonpaper]

i want to be sent to a gay conversion camp so i can meet a hot lesbian and we can have a super cool breakout scene where we get everyone out and the old gay couple nearby houses us and helps us get back on our feet

[ashesonpaper]

Y’all I’m so inconsistent, it took me until just now to start TMAGP 14 😭😭😭

[ashesonpaper]

Y’all, that Celia lore drop was INSANE

[ashesonpaper]

Lap Dance, no questions asked

POV you're at a Stag night and he shows up, wyd?

[ashesonpaper]

EVERYONE POINT AND SCREAM IN HORROR

[ashesonpaper]

inkneedles is supposed to be a crack ship but ink5oul "let me look at the dead body you can trust me i'm an influencer" and needles "if you don't take me seriously i'll just dox you" are making out sloppy style and bullying kids on the internet together and there's nothing i can do about it

[ashesonpaper]

“You hate fucking Bonzo, I’m hate-fucking Bonzo. We’re not the same.”

- My Friend, April 18, 2024

[ashesonpaper]

OMG Jurgen Leitner-Style post by my friend!

let’s talk about bonzo. fucking asshole shit face bonzo, can’t even buy his own motherfucking house bonzo, lunchbox in comic sans frankly embarrassing goddamn blobby knockoff bonzo. i REFUSE to call that waste of space “mister” because he is undeserving of my time and respect. He’s a freak and gets paid to murder people, LIKE WORKS FOR THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED KINGDOM and he STILL lives with Nigel Dickface. From the moment I had to see his ugly ass yellow eggplant-for-a-nose face during the ARG i knew he was a piece of shit and guess what? time and time again i am proven right. If I ever have to hear him and his jaundiced ass again i am going to end the episode, unsubscribe from protocol, delete spotify, and scream. I want him to die a death where he is ground up Mikaele Salesa style, or maybe has each of his stupid motherfucking orange spots popped one by one. Do not come to me with your defenses for this sickly excuse for a creature. I don’t care whether he is a bear or a twink or a twunk he is BONZO he is SHIT and i HATE HIM. Stupid cocky asshole has a goddman theme song with children singing about him WHERE DID THOSE CHILDREN FUCKING COME FROM he is ugly and i haet him. fucking illiterate piece of televised garbage i hope nigel dickenass wakes up in a cold sweat every night because he created such an abhorrent monstrosity. i hope he knows it lives in his stupid fucking house wearing a stupid fucking fedora and i hope idiot loser bonzo kills him and then kills itself. i would celebrate his death every year with a cupcake that says I HATE FUCKING BONZO.

[ashesonpaper]

god DAMMIT ALEX

CONTAIN THIS MAN.

[ashesonpaper]

Mr Bonzo being a hitman for the O.I.A.R. was actually NOT on my magnus protocol bingo card

[ashesonpaper]

Do y’all know that feeling of heart-stopping dread when you’re scrolling through your photos and you find the reference photos for a project you signed up for two months ago? In other news, I now have two portraits I need to complete within about 5-6 weeks! Thanks, ADHD 🥰🥰🥰.

[ashesonpaper]

am i allowed to say i really don’t want alice and sam to get back together or will i be killed with hammers