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My favorite art is first sentences of scientific papers, I love reading sentences like "movement is of integral importance to animals" or "snow has long been recognised for its ecological importance" fuck yes so truee

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commission

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Comfy? completed YCH

very happy with it, itching to do some more)

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they are canceling me for the way i deal with grief. also, for the infinite number of destroyed universes

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my internet is OUT arceus is IN

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give me 10 years and maybe I'll finish a thing or two

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Galaxy NGC 3432, a long streak of stars ©

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Over 6 months in the making (mostly bc procrastination) but I finally compiled my Kanto Gym Leader Magazine series. I love the idea of an in-universe style fashion publication where they all do interviews about their hobbies and stuff

Want something like this for your own OC? My commissions are open!!

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Slowpoke Tails - Shed vs Chopped

Okay, so there's something of a discrepancy between how Slowpoke tails are treated by the Pokémon franchise. Initially, it was understood that these are a tasty, unethical luxury item, starting in Gold/Silver/Crystal and mirrored in Heartgold/Soulsilver:

The whole plot here is that Team Rocket has taken the Slowpoke in the Azalea Slowpoke Well and chopped their tails off to sell on the black market. These run for a whopping 1,000,000 PD a pop ($10k in USD).

But then, in later generations, it's said that Slowpoke tails fall off naturally. In fact, they're a crucial part of both Alolan AND Galarian cuisine:

The curry ingredient even sells for a measly 2,200 PD ($22 USD).

So what gives? Why is it a Million-Poké black market item when you can get a package off your local hiker?

Easy. Sweetness.

Slowpoke use their tails to fish for food. Typically, they do this by dipping their tails into the water, then letting the current catch the sweet sap they give off and bring it to hungry Water-types.

When a Slowpoke sheds its tail, it's because the tail's ability to generate sap has dried up. It's no longer useful as fishing bait, so the Slowpoke has to either get rid of the tail, or starve.

Shed Slowpoke tails, the ones commonly available for cooking, aren't sweet in the slightest—they're more like heavily-marbled tuna steaks, somewhere between beef and fish with a lot of fat dripping from them, and a rich umami flavor.

Chopped Slowpoke tails, the kind you find on the black market, are a completely different experience. The meat is more tender, the flavor a lot more delicate, with a sweetness permeating it that's a lot like the honey glaze on a ham.

Naturally, chopped Slowpoke tail then becomes a novel experience. Because you have to take it from a Slowpoke, you can't just find it lying around.

So why, then, is it illegal enough for Rocket to move in on? Why is Slowpoke farming or hunting for those sweet tails not a thing? They still grow them back afterwards, so what's the deal?

The problem with chopping a Slowpoke's tail off is that, even though it regenerates, its body wasn't ready to do so. This can cause a whole lot of complications for the poor thing.

A tail doesn't regenerate from nothing, for starters: every time you cut a tail off unexpectedly, the Slowpoke's body rushes to make a replacement, using up its body's fat reserves. This causes VERY rapid and dangerous weight loss, and a frankly ridiculous amount of stress.

Incorrect cuts can cause deformities, like a tail growing back too short, not being able to make enough sweetness to bait fish Pokémon, or even Espeon-tail syndrome, where the tail splits into two at the end.

And, perhaps most egregiously of all, a cut too high might mean the Slowpoke never regrows its tail at all. If you cut into anything that's not specifically tail tissue, the body will begin the scarring process over the wound, removing the Pokémon's ability to fish and evolve. And while it can learn to survive by fishing manually, like its evolutionary counterpart is required to, oftentimes, Slowpoke will just sit by the water and starve, not realizing that they aren't getting a bite because there's just nothing to bite.

In short: Shed = ethical, chopped = unethical, possibly lethal.

Slowpoke responsibly, guys.

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A good ²³⁸Umbrella policy should cover it.

Radon [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Cueball is on the left, and is approached by Ponytail, who is reading a Geiger counter in her hand and is holding a toolbox in her other hand.] Ponytail: Radon levels in your basement are pretty high. Ponytail: When was the planet under this home built?

[Ponytail stops walking and lowers the Geiger counter] Cueball: Uhh, about 4½ billion years ago, I think? Ponytail: Oof. I was afraid of that. Ponytail: This planet was contaminated with uranium it formed. You really should have let it fully decay before building. Ponytail: Wait another 100 billion years and these rocks will be fine.

[Zoom in on Cueball's head] Cueball: But the Sun will burn out in 5 billion years. Ponytail: Yikes, you built around a short-lived yellow star? What a mess. Ponytail: Hope you have good insurance.

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writing is so fun

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screaming, crying, throwing up, as I force myself to write a story i'm very passionate about and love writing and have no obligation to write except that i want to

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managed to get my hands on a vgen account so I revamped my commissions for the new year! go check it out

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inferno darling groudon supervises the end of a lot of things

crops and a link to this as a print

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Most blessed type of fandom experience tbh