apologytogeology

[apologytogeology]

Phil is my stepfather (Prof Ihinger). He pointed out your blog to me, and I think it is hilarious. Just wanted you to know. :)

Thanks! He's such a great guy and despite my total lack of scientific talent, I had a blast with him. Unfortunately, I'm done with his class now and I don't have as much material, but I'm sure there's a lot of science out there I can sufficiently bumble through and make into something funny. :P

[apologytogeology]

I picked Geology because the course description mentioned volcanoes.

Ever since my uncle (who used to be a professor, by the way, now there's a scary thought) showed me a map of the world and said "Don't these continents look like they fit together once? And doesn't the Gulf of Mexico look like a place where the huge asteroid that killed the dinosaurs might have hit and made all the continents drift apart?" I've been doomed to be horrible at Geology.

[Oh, come on, like you've never believed something for years because someone you trusted told you it was so. Don't make fun.]

But I went to class and I took notes even when I didn't understand them and I read the book and I read about rocks changing "through animal attack" (really, really? I just can't take it seriously) and I studied and it very nearly killed me...

...and then I got an A.

That's right.

Not a C, like I originally assumed I would get. Not a B+ like I was shooting for after I got a freaking 91 on my first exam. Not an A-, my ideal ideal ideal grade.

An A.

I have only one emotion at the present time:

[apologytogeology]

Geology exam tomorrow. Geology exam tomorrow? Geology exam tomorrow...

[apologytogeology]

Hipster supervolcano

[apologytogeology]

I feel I should get an A on my Geology Lab Exam (tomorrow at high noon) owing to the fact that I spend much time and energy cobbling together this rudimentary video in which a character from my favorite television show screams repeatedly in an anguished way. This video is of good quality because it portrays my own feelings and emotions toward this exam.

[apologytogeology]

[apologytogeology]

I understood every word of the Geology lecture today. Every single word. And I even knew the answers to the questions the professor asked.

"THIS...IS...GEOLOGY."

[apologytogeology]

[apologytogeology]

Some interesting moments in my Geology notes thus far...

[apologytogeology]

How did my Geology exam go?

...I'll tell you how my Geology exam went.

[apologytogeology]

I gave my geology professor the url to my tumblr. And then I realized there were lots of swears on here, and that's actually quite embarrassing. So I took them out.

In other news, global warming is very, very bad for you, okay?

[apologytogeology]

This is what finally understanding geology makes me feel like...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjnht1k8M7w

"HELLO STONEHENGE. Who takes the Pandorica takes the universe. But, bad news everyone, 'cause guess who? Ha! Now, the question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer: I do. Next question: who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else: I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, AND THEN, do the smart thing: let somebody else try first."

He who takes the geology takes the universe. Now, the question of the hour is, who's got the geology? Answer: I do. Next question: what exam is coming to take it from me?

[apologytogeology]

ANOTHER GEOLOGY EXAM???

But I just GOT DONE destressing from the LAST EXAM!

[this is hanzo blade of steel. everyone should follow hanzo on tumblr.]

[apologytogeology]

This is a picture of a cation:

Not this:

I think we're done here for tonight.

[apologytogeology]

What causes volcanoes? Well, I'll tell you what causes volcanoes.

GIANT FREAKING ALIENS, that's what!

And what do you do to stop a volcano?

THAT'S RIGHT A WATER PISTOL.

Don't say Doctor Who never taught me anything. Doctor Who taught me EVERYTHING. I don't even need to be in Geology. A British sci-fi show from the 1960s taught me EVERYTHING ABOUT THE UNIVERSE EVER.

This is all I can think about in class.

[apologytogeology]

My Geology notes go like this:

"All platinum atoms mixed into the sulfide liquid droplets. Fell to the bottom of the magma chamber and now it's being mined

THOSE DAMN DIRTY SOUTH AFRICANS HAVE A MONOPOLY ON PLATINUM!

(stupid chinese too god dammit)"

(But really. They do have a monopoly.)

[apologytogeology]

All my previous joy in Geology is gone. I don't understand a WORD that man is saying. He is like "silicate tetrahedron" and I am like this:

"...parlez...parlez vous francais?"