apathetic-tortoise

[apathetic-tortoise]

Aioon: I've only had May for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

[apathetic-tortoise]

Mew: Ray, I think you have a problem with alcohol

Ray: No, I like it

[apathetic-tortoise]

Yok, bleeding out on the floor: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this

Dan: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

[apathetic-tortoise]

Hope: I'm gonna kill him but make it seem like an accident

*Later*

Jack: It looks like the killer beat him to death with a crowbar and then placed a banana peel by his feet

[apathetic-tortoise]

Pat: Ow!

Pran: What’s wrong?

Pat: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow

Pran: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four

[apathetic-tortoise]

Jade: King, can I talk to you for a second?

King: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Mai are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Jade: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books

[apathetic-tortoise]

Therapist: You have a lot of self-awareness

Pran: Yes, I actually think that is part of the problem

[apathetic-tortoise]

Type: This is gay

Tharn: We’re gay

Type: I don’t think I’m this gay

[apathetic-tortoise]

Ton: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born

Charoen: Aw... that's not true

Charoen: It'd be exactly the same

Charoen: You're not important

[apathetic-tortoise]

Jack, age 17: I hope something good happens!

*5 years later*

Jack, age 22: I hope whatever bad thing happens next is at least funny

[apathetic-tortoise]

Sky: If I'm extra sarcastic with you, it probably means I'm flirting with you, or you really annoy me.. good luck figuring out which one

[apathetic-tortoise]

White: Are you alright Gram? You look exhausted, how much sleep did you get?

Gram: I got a solid ten minutes. Not consecutively, but I’m fine. You and Black aren’t even that blurry

White, very much alone:

[apathetic-tortoise]

Mawin: I wonder if different brands of shampoo taste different

Ton: They do

Mawin:

Ton:

Mawin:

Ton: Wait, ask me again and I'll hesitate before answering this time

[apathetic-tortoise]

Pete: Anyone know how we can resolve this conflict?

Whole room: *Raise their hands*

Chay: Without resorting to violence

Kinn, Kim, and Vegas: *Lower their hands*

Pete: Or childish name calling

Tankhun, Porsche, and Macau: *Lower their hands*

[apathetic-tortoise]

Gumpa: You already have everything you need to beat it!

White: The power to believe in myself!?

Gumpa: No, a knife! Stab it!

[apathetic-tortoise]

Luna: Do you ever just see something that changes your life?

Aylin: I saw you

Luna: That is so sweet and nice and totally makes me feel bad about showing you this picture of a kitten dressed as a pumpkin

[apathetic-tortoise]

Kinn, about Porsche: He’s just so attractive…

Pete: Really? Porsche?

Kinn: Really?? My psychotic cousin???

Pete: … Touché