apathetic-tortoise

[apathetic-tortoise]

Gaipa, high af: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

Gram:

Sean:

Black:

White:

Yok: …. Just one?

[apathetic-tortoise]

Thame: *Talks*

Pepper: 🤦‍♂️

[apathetic-tortoise]

Style: Why am I not a banana?

Babe: Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your dna with a banana

Style: Wow, really? Thanks

Bison: ... Are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people?

[apathetic-tortoise]

Jun: Thame is not jealous. Don’t delude yourself

Thame, actively turning green:

Jun: See, I told you. Not jealous at all

Pepper: 🤦‍♂️

[apathetic-tortoise]

Kinn: How long does your ideal hug last?

Porsche: 30 to 40 minutes

Kinn: That's a bit impractical-

Porsche: You said ideal, not realistic

[apathetic-tortoise]

Gram: Sean, you know what I just realised? If Black married me, White would officially be my brother-in-law. And when you marry White we'd be some form of brother-in-laws too! We'd all finally be officially related!!!

Sean: Wait, yeah.. Damn, that'd actually be cool!! So then, if one of us winds up in hospital again, we won't have to argue to see them- we can just barge right in because we're officially family!

Gram: That's so fucking morbid. How did you even get there?

*Black and White listening*

White: So Gram actually has no idea about the ring you've been carrying around for more than 2 months, I presume?

Black: Yeah, no, I haven't asked yet nor has he found ou-... Wait, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE RING??

[apathetic-tortoise]

I watched this week’s episode of ThamePo, but I can’t stop thinking about the ending of last week’s.

The translation I’ve been seeing on here is “5 cm is already to far apart”, however, when I first watched it, for whatever reason, the caption said:

“Only 5 cm and I’m already dying”

And honestly, I felt that in my soul

[apathetic-tortoise]

Fadel: *Does literally anything*

Style: Jokes on you, I’m into that shit

[apathetic-tortoise]

Jack: Have you seen the kids?

Joke: They're playing hide-and-seek

Jack: Where?

Joke: I don’t think that’s how it works

[apathetic-tortoise]

Vivi: I love the phrase “With all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. Could be none

[apathetic-tortoise]

Type: My dad thinks you turned me gay

Tharn: I did. Tell him he’s next

[apathetic-tortoise]

Yotha: What're you looking at?

Gun: Sorry it's just, your legs look great in those jeans

Yotha: You should see me without them

Gun, confused: Why would you take off your legs?

[apathetic-tortoise]

Po, as a kid: I can't wait till I'm a grown up so I can stay up late every night!

Po, at age 19 crawling into bed at 8 pm: Oh thank God

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tankhun: The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

Pete: Any other diagnosis you'd like to share?

Tankhun: …. Autism

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tankhun: Are you calling me difficult?!

Kim: No, I'm calling you physically and verbally challenging

[apathetic-tortoise]

Style: Do you think I'm a sunrise or a sunset?

Fadel: You're a category 5 hurricane

[apathetic-tortoise]

Jade: Never have I ever been handcuffed

Uea: *Drinks*

Jade: You’ve been arrested?

Uea: That wasn’t the question