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this guy at the bar came up and asked me “what gives you the balls to just dye your hair blue?” and i was too drunk to think of anything witty so i just sneered and said “my balls”

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Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [1]

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Escalator repairwoman (elevator mechanic). Tradeswomen Magazine 1988

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by Leon Berkowitz (1976)

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I'll unalive you

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they should hold 4 versions of every olympic event in this order to witness the full breadth of human capabilities:

primary schoolers

random nonathletic adults

olympians

olympians roided and doped up to the max

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The JK Rowling black mold saga

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Morning and evening, 1898. Source.

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What I say to my friends everytime I see them lol

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just consciously thought "wait did I leave the oven on" for the first time. it's so over boys

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who gonna hold me

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I need testosterone so I can grow a fuck ass mustache that everyone hates

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imagine being the last goddess in the heroic age to like fuck a mortal like titties bedecked in necklaces that shine like moonlight and like bathed in ambrosial bridal oil… and then you flew into like mount Ida or whatever trojan princes have and everyone dropped their lyres and was shookedt? like everyone herding sheep was just in shock and you walked across the mountainside in your εθελειςειδοςεμου.com dress brighter than firelight twisted bracelets shining earbuds like your pussy depended on it… yes goddess