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Lady Enjoying A Little Humour

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To Be Advised

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1854 - 21st Century Rail⚡~ Melbourne's Suburban Electric Train Network

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The "Lighter Side" Items (again)

Whilst the other two images are self explanatory, below is my take on the fellow in Eagle's Nest.

........(Parody of those Nature Shows) Yes, and here we see a newly hatched offspring of Skyscraperous Huminious, aka, the human like Tower Bird.

As can be seen, it's distinguished by its unique headwear called a Hard Hat. This species lives in metal trees called Mobile Smartphone Signal Towers. As can be seen, the nestling is having a look at the wider world.

This is a friendly species of bird, found only near large human colonies called Cities.......

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Sydney Suburban Electric Train Network #2, Melbourne, VIC, Australia

To Be Advised

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forever thinking about this satellite photograph from the 2020 atlantic hurricane season that captured 5 tropical cyclones (hurricanes, plus tropical storms and tropical depressions which are basically weaker classifications of hurricanes) and 3 other weather systems that would develop into tropical cyclones shortly after, all in the same single photograph.

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Courtesy of CoolNASAPics, here in these three photos captured by NASA is the 1 minute long Total Solar Eclipse at Exmouth, northern Western Australia, on Thursday, April 20, 2023. The upper one shows The Moon's black night side immediately before Totality, the centre shows Totality, the flaring light is the Corona, The Sun's atmosphere, illuminated by Sunlight, the lower image shows The Moon's black night side immediately after Totality. My observations of The Moon's First Crescent Phase on the evening of Sunday, April 23, 2023, here in Melbourne, Australia, showed the Moon at a lower angle in the northern skies. This indicates The Moon is now in an alignment at this point about 10 000 kilometres (6000 miles) north of our planet's North Pole, however, this is purely my estimate and should therefore be treated with an Estimate Error Rate of 45%.

Solar Eclipse from Western Australia via NASA https://ift.tt/lJUzsYN

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Sports Followers or Star Followers?

Sports. Most of us follow them as Spectators, very few of us compete in them. However, this does beg one question. Do we follow Sports as Spectators for the sake of being Sports Followers, or is it more a case of Sports Stars Followers?

The main reason I say this I've long since noticed that nearly half the Supporters of Football Clubs, Rugby League, Cricket, etc, are chiefly interested in the individual players' Star Power, aka, Public Profile, as much as, if not more than, the Sports they play in.

Call me old - fashioned, and indeed I probably am old - fashioned, but, I'm a firm believer that you follow a Football Club, you follow it through good times and bad times, Premierships, and times when the club is on the bottom of the ladder. My own Football Club Support here is an example of this.

I have been a supporter of Australian Rules Football Club Brisbane in the Australian Football League, AFL, since I first followed Melbourne - based Victorian Football League, VFL, Club, Fitzroy as a ten year old male in 1980. Even through the merger of 1882 formed Fitzroy (Lions) and 1987 formed Brisbane Bears into the Brisbane Lions in 1996, I have stayed with the club. And justifiably I could've abandoned the club because of the merger, as many others did, but, I stayed with them.

I have been a supporter of Rugby League Club Penrith in the National Rugby League, NRL, since I first followed Sydney - based New South Wales Rugby League, NSWRL, Penrith age 22/23 in 1992/93, following a push by the NSWRL into Victoria for those who hadn't been interested, or lost interest, in AFL. At the time, whatever clubs were around people selected. Many including myself chose Sydney - based clubs, others chose Canberra, rural NSW others still chose Queensland. Naturally, when Melbourne Storm came into being in 1997/98, many Victorian supporters switched to Melbourne, completely understandable. However, I chose to remain with the Penrith Panthers, a choice I stick with to now.

This is what's known as Club Loyalty. More so, I'm not so interested in the individual players, but, rather how the teams, my Clubs of choice, stand up every Football Season. And it comes down to one single point.

You choose to follow individual players in team Sports, you follow them from one club to another. However, you choose to follow the Clubs, then no matter who joins, leaves and/or retires as a player, your support will never die out, because both you and club(s) will be there as always.

So this again begs the question, do we follow Sports as Sports Supporters, or as Sports Stars Supporters? I'll leave this open - ended, as it requires Mature Discussion and Thinking.

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Vintage Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,

Here in this video I downloaded in mid - 2019, we see a lady model in a sleeveless black Midriff Top and Black Leather Skirt, whilst she performs a Catwalk Parade Routine during a Ladies Fashion Industry Video and Photography Session. It's believed neither she or the featured Leather Skirt are with whoever the company was that had this video. I never actually found out about which company it was.

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Vintage Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,

Here again in this video, we see the same K - Pop lady singer in South Korea, in the same Midriff Top and Black Leather Skirt, this time as she's walking around on stage whilst singing her songs.

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Vintage Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,

Here in this image, we see a lady singer, whilst she evidently dances on Stage in front of an audience, in a Midriff Top and Black Leather Skirt. It's believed to be from South Korea's highly popular K - Pop Popular Music genre.

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Vintage Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,

Here in this video dating from February 2021, we again see former Beginning Boutique lady model Olivia, whilst she does a Catwalk Parade in open toe shoes, a long sleeved Green Woollen Jumper (Sweater for US residents) and high cut Black Leather Slacks. Though the video was actually about the Top, it became also a Video as much about the Leather Slacks, hence why I titled it, "Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,".

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Ladies In Leather Skirts, Shorts, Dresses, etc,

Again from the Brisbane, Australia, based Ladies Fashion Industry company, Beginning Boutique, we see another lady model, this time in a tiny Halter Top and high cut Black Leather Slacks, whilst she does a Catwalk Parade. Whilst she may or may not be at the company, such is the popularity of Leather clothes with ladies as customers, there will always be Catwalk Videos such as thus one.

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Lycra Bike Shorts Catwalk ~ Ladies In Fashion Lycra Bike Shorts

Here in this video I originally downloaded from Internet - based Ladies Fashion Industry, Beginning Boutique, we see then lady model Olivia, whilst she does a Catwalk Parade in a pair of knee high Leather Boots, Midriff T Shirt and high cut, tight fitting, Shiny Lycra Bike Shorts. This video dates from August 2019, and both the Lycra Bike Shorts and lady model are no longer with the Brisbane, Australia, based Ladies Fashion Industry company.

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The "Lighter Side" Items

#1:

There was once a lady who loved to buy anything "Marked Down". The last anyone heard, she bought an escalator.

#2:

A lady was once told by a Salesman a certain type of vacuum cleaner could cut her housework in half. She bought two of those vacuum cleaners.

#3:

Two men were speaking onboard a train traveling from Sydney to Perth once some years ago. One of them said, "My great, great, great grandfather came to Australia seeking fortune and freedom. It didn't last apparently, as my great, great, great grandmother came over on the next boat".

#4:

A father is a man who spends thousands of dollars on his daughter's wedding, only to read in the newspaper a few days later he happily gave her away at the wedding.

#5:

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear Onboard The Aircraft Public Address System

A: "This is your Captain speaking. I am the walrus, I am the walrus, coo coo ka joo"

B: "Thank God there's no booze buses up here" (breath alcohol tests)

C: "Could all passengers please return to the seated position ready for landing......and for those in Mile High Class, please ensure your partners are returned to the sitting position as well, thank you"

D: "We'll be doing an unscheduled stop for a few minutes as the missus wants me to pick up some bread and milk on the way home"

E: "(Preceded by a loud fart) Please excuse me, I was tuning up to play in the Wind Section for my local Orchestra tonight"

F: "(Preceded by a screeching lady) Please excuse me, I thought this was the Men's bathroom"

G: "Welcome to the Scenic Railway roller coaster at Luna Park"

H: "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard Of Oz"

I: "You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out. You do the Hokey Pokey and you shake it all about"

J: "Up, up and away, in my beautiful, beautiful balloon"

#6: (based on a true story, involving myself as the villain at a Grade 6 School Camp in early 1982, then age 12)

Particularly hungry one day, I ate three plates of Baked Beans. Bad mistake, as a few hours later I felt a low rumble in my stomach, I knew a fart was brewing.

Fortunately, as it was on a night where the students were expected to put on Stage Performances and I had been ignored and stopped by other students from participating in any performances, I didn't care who was doing what on stage. That year there were 6 teachers and at least 100 Grade 6 students at the camp in southwest Victoria.

It was during a performance by two girls who were singing, and who I didn't get along with in class or the school yard. As they reached the middle of their song, I felt my stomach rumbling, so I decided to be silent with the gas release. However, all of us were sitting in plastic chairs on metal legs.

Anyway, as one of the girls sang the words of, ".......and this is what he said......", I let the fart out, however, it was loud and somewhat long, amplified by the plastic chair itself, in a room that was dark except the stage itself. Expecting to be told off by anyone nearby, I was surprised to hear 100 other students and the 6 teachers burst out laughing, including the two girls on stage. One teacher in particular said to her colleague, "I'll pay that, that was good timing" as she laughed and clapped. And fortunately for me, because it was a darkened audience area, no one ever knew it was me.

#7: (jailor means prison guard)

What's the difference between a jailor and a jeweler? One sells watches, the other watches cells.

#8:

A truck driver was driving along a country road one day, when he went drive below a lower level railway bridge. Unfortunately his truck became stuck. A motorist pulled up and watched for half an hour as the driver unsuccessfully tried to free his truck.

Then with brilliant eloquence, the motorist said, "Tell me, are you stuck?", to which the truck driver replied, "No. I was delivering the railway bridge and I forgot the address.".

#9:

How do you know if a lady is wearing Tights? When she farts, her ankles swell.

#10:

A father in law was driving along one day when he was pulled over by Police. When the officer said, "Tell me, did you know your wife fell out of the car about half an hour ago?", the father in law replied, "Thank God. I thought I'd gone deaf!"

#11:

One day a man was driving on a country road a couple of hundred kilometres (miles for US residents) northwest of Melbourne, when he passed a chicken farm. What caught his attention was that the chickens had four legs each, not the standard two.

Reaching the farm house, he said to the farmer, "I saw your chickens as I drove past. What's with the four legs on each one?". The farmer replied, "People like tasty chickens, so I bred mine to have two extra legs each".

The man asked, "Tell me, do they taste alright?", to which the farmer replied, "I don't know. They run so fast I can't catch any of them!"

#12:

Two old wanderers were walking along a country road one foggy night, when they came across a roadside Distance sign. Thinking they were in a cemetery, one said, "Geez, this one lived a long life". The other asked, "How old were they when they died?", to which the first one answered, "109. Miles, from Adelaide".

#12a:

In the early 1970s, to deal with a growing issue of unintentionally hurting ethnic minorities, a Variety Show in Melbourne, "Hey Hey It's Saturday", devised a completely fictional country, Biddleonia, taken from the name of the show's producer, a Mr Biddle. The intention was to use this country specifically for jokes that would otherwise fall foul of Censorship Rules. Needless to say, this became an unequalled success. The country was in the shape of a goat's head, a white flag flown upside down and an accent strangely linked to the original jokes. Below is the Biddleonian Soccer Team.

Goal Keepers:

Shefarts Sohard

Sheblew Hertightsoff

Defenders:

Mecars Abitrusty

Lars Persson

Onlyhas Forteeth

Centres:

Snake Sharma

Bernie Zarsoff

Blewie Zarsoff

Middle Persson

Madonna Kahnsing

Shebloodywell Kansing

Forwards:

Howbadsa Fartbeen

Halfadozen Marsbars

First Persson

Interchange:

Rubbish Binni

Trash Canni

Late Team Update - both Rubbish Binni and Trash Canni were left out last night. However, as no one collected them, they were brought back in.

#14: (This is a joke, not for real)

On almost all Forms one question is asked, the Sex or Gender, invariably Male and/or Female. Below was on a form that was unique

Sex/Gender:

[] Male [] Female [] None Of Your Business

[] Sorry, no we're British [] Are You Offering?

[] Your Place Or Mine

#15:

Marital Status:

[] Married [] Single [] Divorced [] Widowed

[] Been There Done That [] Not Interested

[] Not Falling For That S__t Again

[] Are You Offering?

#16:

On his deathbed, a very old Robin Hood said to Maid Marion and his followers, "Where this arrow lands is where I want to be buried", then let fly very unsteadily with his bow and arrow. It came to pass he was buried on top of the wardrobe (closet for US residents) in his and Maid Marion's bedroom.

#17:

#18:

#19:

#20:

Once sighted in a Classifieds Section of a newspaper was the following Advertisement:

"For Sale, one large Couch (sofa for US residents). Hardly used, very comfartable (should read comfortable), please contact....."

#21:

"For Sale. One set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. Never used, as wife knows everything."

#22:

Strange Writings On Tombstones:

"Don't Laugh, You're Next"

"For Lease. One Small Room, Suitable For Single Occupant. Neighbours Are Dead Quiet"

"Here Is The Future Resting Place For Captain Kirk Of Starfleet Ship Enterprise, Born 2324 AD"

"I Expected This, But, Not So Soon"

"Now Do You Believe Me When I Said I Didn't Feel Alright?"

"For I Am Now, Soon You Shall Be. So Be Prepared To Follow Me", with the following written in chalk underneath "To Follow You I'm Quite Content, But, I'm Damned If I Know Which Way You Went"

#23:

The other day I heard there's a married couple whose last name is Tickle. The husband's name is Ron, the wife's name is Tess.

#24: (This is a true story I recall hearing when I was in Year 8, 1984 AD, at my former, first Secondary School)

The story went that a young lady whose last name was Ophelia was due to marry a young man whose last name was Dick. From the 1980s it became common practice for ladies to combine their last name with those of the men they married, eg, Mrs Reid - Smith, etc. However, in this case she didn't do this, instead taking on her prospective husband's last name only as hers.

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Melbourne Airport Train Line ~ The "Never Never" Project/Program

Saturday, April 15, 2023, Australian Eastern Standard Time. Mark this date, for this one in particular highlights a point I made early in my time here at Tumblr.

In a previous Editorial, I spoke of the necessity for politicians to complete projects and programs for the benefit of the public. And how true this is now.

This morning, Australian Time, an announcement on Radio here in Melbourne, Australia, spoke of the Andrews State Labor Government's snap decision to postpone construction of the long - proposed Melbourne Airport Train Line.

With an estimated cost of $8 - $13 billion AUD ($6 - $9 billion USD), the line would link Melbourne Airport with Flinders Street Station, via Airport West Shopping Centre and Sunshine.

Unfortunately, this line seems to be a "Never Never" type ~ No matter how far it's advanced, costed and proposed, it never gets off the ground, to use an Australian Term, which means it never actually gets underway.

When Melbourne Airport was built to replace the 1921 opened Essendon Airport, the new one apparently had a large cavern built below where the present day Parkroyal Hotel, the cavern designed to house an underground station.

Had this station been commissioned on/after the Airport's opening in 1970, then in the very least, trains would've been running between Flinders Street and Melbourne Airport by 1975 - 1980.

Unfortunately, in the 1970s the drive to build roads, highways and freeways meant this line was abandoned as a proposal. The next time an Airport Line was looked at was in 1996/97, when a then proposal to run a line to the Airport, via Broadmeadows, arose. This was laughed at as the alignment was too sharp to function effectively. In any case, the government of the day was voted out in 1999, in one of the most memorable Election defeats in Australian history.

Almost immediately, the Airport Line was shelved, seemingly never to return. Instead, a program to expand capacity of the Tullamarine Freeway, costing hundreds of millions of dollars, was launched. All this did was to cause further traffic and saw a slow down in road transport times.

So what did the governments of the era, 2000 - 2018, do? Instead of "biting the bullet" and building the line, they continued ultimately futile attempts to expand already overcrowded roads and a bloody (damned) freeway when a wholesale approach to Melbourne's transport was and remains sorely needed.

Now, according to this State Government, it will cost up to and over $230 billion AUD ($190 billion USD) to build the Suburban Rail Loop, a project across thirty plus years, and one which by the time it opens, none of us will probably even be alive to use it.

Then there's this ridiculously stupid Westgate Tunnel, a $30 billion AUD ($17 billion USD) road tunnel connecting Melbourne's western suburbs with the West Melbourne industrial area and Tullamarine Freeway. The wastefulness of this is it doesn't even provide a cross town link with the eastern suburbs. If the Westgate Tunnel connected with the Eastern Freeway in Clifton Hill, then that's one thing, that's money well spent, as it provides an additional East - West Road Link on top of the Monash Freeway - Westgate Freeway link. But, when the Westgate Tunnel effectively goes to bloody (damned) well nowhere and causes traffic chaos, then I'm sorry, but, I strongly argue this has to be shelved and the money redirected to building the East - West Link between the Tullamarine Freeway and Eastern Freeway, realigning North East Link to be between the Western Ring Freeway and Eastern Freeway & Eastlink in Ringwood, not bloody (damned) Eastern Freeway at Balwyn.

Likewise, the Suburban Rail Loop is a colossal waste of money. For the price of this thing, they could build train lines to/from Rowville, Doncaster, between Frankston and Rosebud, Melbourne Airport, and build dedicated Road Lanes for SmartBuses to do now what Suburban Rail Loop will eventually do......we hope.......30 years from now. It would also pay for complete modernisation of The Alfred Hospital, send Suburban Electric Trains to/ from Melton, pay for new Ambulance Paramedics, Police, Firefighters, and the infrastructure needed to support these.

And as for the stupidity of Geelong Fast Rail, what a colossal foul up this is. The concept of sending Geelong line trains back to an alignment via Werribee, a suburban electric line, is one of the dumbest things I ever heard of. This won't be Fast Rail, it will be Slow Rail. The project should be abandoned and Outlawed for sheer stupidity, the money used instead to (a) remove all remaining level crossings in Melbourne and (b) get the bloody trackwork, overhead wires and poles, etc, up to 21st Century Standards, not 19th Century.

So, for those out there waiting for trains to run to/from Melbourne Airport, use my advice of, "I believe it when I see it". And if you really want to send the politicians a message, then do a "Donkey Vote", meaning don't vote, or vote simply just to annoy them. And as for this line, build and complete the Airport Line, and to hell with Geelong Fast Rail, Westgate Tunnel and other wasteful garbage.