anonymous4998

[anonymous4998]

Loneliness

It’s such a stupid yet complex thing. You may or may not have many people close to you yet you still end up feeling it. It’s something that you are not able to escape,it feels like a knife penetrating through you when you least expect it.

I find it quite strange the way it works.

A very realistic example of when this feeling might start to appear is when you are with your group of friends. Let’s imagine this, there are 5 people within your friendship group (including yourself):

1 - 1 (one pair of friends that are extremely close to each other)

1 - 1 (there’s another pair of friends that are extremely close to each other)

1 (you)

Keep in mind that you get along with all 4 friends perfectly fine and that you all chat as a group when you are together. But when you are all apart,nobody within the group even bothers to text you at all unless they are asking for something - such as confirmation of dates.

You’re just there. Feeling like a backup.

And, to some extent,that is the reality of the situation.So,it begins. The feeling of loneliness.

But why? You have 4 friends to chat with.You could always text them first and ask to hang out or to do whatever.

My guesses are that you also wish to have someone that close to you. Someone that is willing to put effort in for you,someone that would remember small details about you or even someone that would text first from time to time.I would even go as far as to call it jealousy - a pinch of jealousy.

Another example I have noticed,is that even if people say otherwise, we categorise ourself into different communities where we hope to find like-minded individuals to interact with. Sometimes, we wish to be included within a certain group but might end up being rejected and I believe that this is where the loop for certain people start with ‘loneliness’ as they have no choice but to get involved within another group that will ‘accept’ them.

But this doesn’t apply all the time.

I myself have had my fair share of this torturous feeling just like others and while I try to ignore it,I think to myself:

“Maybe I’m just not likeable”

“Maybe I’m just boring”

“Maybe I’m just annoying”

and so on,these thoughts further develop into what feels like a blade just stabbing me deeper and deeper into my self-esteem. Destroying every last positive thought I had about myself, it’s damaging - I am aware. I’ve tried my best to fill this massive gap within my body by reassuring myself that I am loved and many people appreciate me. However, clearly it has not been working well for I still feel like I am not special to anybody or to myself even.

And since you have got this far,let me ask you this, what do you think about loneliness? Do you think it’s temporary or a permanent feeling?

Here,over and out.

01/08/2023 - 1:00 AM

[anonymous4998]

Introduction

Hey people of the internet, hope you are all doing well.

I felt like I needed a place to get everything out, sure I could get therapy instead but this is a more cheaper and affordable option.

I’m not a judgemental person and I tend to be very open minded 98% of the time,the 2% is just out there to keep you on edge to be fair.

Jokes aside, I will just be talking about how I feel and my opinions on certain human emotions. Look at it like a digital diary.

I hope I’ll be able to catch your attention with future posts and perhaps you can express how you feel about that topic in general as well. I don’t mind engaging with others and talking about similar things.

Here,over and out.

29/07/2023 - 05:11 AM