anastayskinni - Tumblr blog

[anastayskinni]

Who up crying over their severe internalized transphobia and want to be a boy for the past 10 years but you're low-key a hater for yourself 💜 can't believe I'm admitting this actually but maybe in another life I won't have the bullying so deeply rooted in me

[anastayskinni]

The only good interaction I've had with my mother in the past month was her telling about how she cried as a teen when she found out Billie Joe Armstrong was married when I got back from greendays tour. Swear to fuck im gonna end it in front of her. Make sure that safe is locked ho.

[anastayskinni]

"following ✅" I'm about to show up to ur house with a gun

[anastayskinni]

Fuck you ho

[anastayskinni]

I’m gonna be so real with u guys I cannot fast and workout.

Even 500c@l a day doesn’t do the job.

I HAVE 0 ENERGY

I‘m so pathetic

[anastayskinni]

[anastayskinni]

tomorrow I’ll be lighter, and that’s all that matters.

[anastayskinni]

Concert last night was so good that I think I'll be healed for approximately 3½ days before I start tweaking again

[anastayskinni]

Chic Diet (the book): Masterlist

Index in case you wanna read it...

(Like/reblog this in case you want to read that way. I'll be adding the latter parts soon and then i will edit this masterlist as I go)

FOREWORD

PART 1: THE FUNDAMENTALS CIGARETTES COFFEE (BLACK, NATCH) DIET COKE ADDERALL AMBIEN ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS CHEWING GUM SPARKLING WATER CHAMPAGNE

PART 2: THE MECHANICS OVERDIGESTION BEING COLD DIURETICS FIBER LAXATIVES COLONICS

PART 3: I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HEALTHY JUICE CLEANSING GLUTEN SENSITIVITY DETOXING EATING CLEAN SUPERFOODS HEALTH BEVERAGES COCONUT WATER NON-DAIRY MILKS BARS ACUPUNCTURE GENERAL ORTHOREXIA EXERCISE

PART 4: UM, IT'S NOT A FAD… IT'S A LIFESTYLE VEGETARIANISM THE BABY FOOD DIET THE AIR DIET THE PALEO DIET THE RIDICULOUSLY LOW CARB DIET THE STRATEGIC STARVATION DIET THE RAW FOOD DIET THE ONE FOOD DIET THE TWO CUP DIET THE HCG DIET THE CABBAGE SOUP DIET THE I-CAN'T-SEE-IT DIET THE I'M-FUCKING-RICH-AND-GLAMOROUS DIET

PART 5: HIDE IT, BETCH BLACK SPANX BOHO CHIC ONE SIZE DOWN

PART 6: I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S ILLEGAL COCAINE MDMA VALLEY OF THE DOLLS BANNED DIET PILLS

PART 7: FODDER FOR YOUR SHRINK COMPETITION MODERATION COMPROMISE LYING HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER BEING A TOTAL BITCH STRESSOREXIA

PART 8: ALL THAT OTHER CRAY SHIT OCCASIONAL VOMITING CHEW-AND-SPIT HYPNOSIS THINSPIRATION PUBLIC EATING A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS SHARING IS CARING COACHELLA BOO, YOU WHORE

[anastayskinni]

I hope I die soon can my heart hurry up and stop I'm too tired to do it myself

[anastayskinni]

I want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die I want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die I want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die I want to die i want to die

[anastayskinni]

to all the teenagers who think an 3d is a "lose w3ight fast" hack

to all the 13-14 year olds on here asking for tips on "starting out"

to all the moms thinking "this will just be for a bit to help lose the baby w3ight"

to all the 20 somethings falling into hyper r3stricted fad di3ts

please, im begging you, get out while you still can

having an 3d is not fun. it's not dainty or beautiful, its not a "lifestyle" or an aesthetic. we romanticize it on here bc its easier than acknowledging what we're going through. but it's hell. it's losing friends and relationships. it's CONSTANTLY thinking ab f00d, w3ight, what you can e4t and what you can't. it's never being able to genuinely enjoy your favorite f00ds bc the numbers jump out as soon as you try. it's constant guilt, either w yourself for e4ting or w your loved ones for not e4ting. it's constant lying. it's wanting recovery but also being terrified of it.

if i could snap my fingers and be "normal", to be able to "e4t intuitively", to be able to enjoy f00d again, i would do it in a heartbeat.

this is a lifelong disease that will never fully go away. you absolutely can recover, but the thoughts and urges will likely never fully leave. it probably sounds so hypocritical from an 4n4 blog, from someone who posts thinspø and tips. i am not here to judge; i will never try to force recovery on anyone, esp when i'm not even ready myself. but we are stuck in this hole w the ladder just a little too far to reach.

please do not join us.

[anastayskinni]

[anastayskinni]

Pvrged an OMAD that did not need to be pvrged (400 cal0ries and was done for the day) but I started tweaking out about ingredients and now my throat is BLEEDING 💜

[anastayskinni]

Guess who slept AGAIN after 3 hours up for another 7 hours 🤗 fearing I got an organ shutting down again

I've slept 28 hours with hardly any breaks in between and just woke up still feeling exhausted STILL and my heart is palpating worse than usual making my walking hindered and I'm dizzy despite eating enough to function. Like I'm lowk starting to get a little scared knowing I have a heart condition caused by my Ed and am heavily ignoring it rn but I thinkkkk I might just chill and run with "natural selection"

[anastayskinni]

I've slept 28 hours with hardly any breaks in between and just woke up still feeling exhausted STILL and my heart is palpating worse than usual making my walking hindered and I'm dizzy despite eating enough to function. Like I'm lowk starting to get a little scared knowing I have a heart condition caused by my Ed and am heavily ignoring it rn but I thinkkkk I might just chill and run with "natural selection"