an-apology2u

[an-apology2u]

Or three or thirty

i wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

[an-apology2u]

In the process myself of completely changing who I am. It's a tough road

I want to rewrite everything that I am.

[an-apology2u]

[an-apology2u]

Story of my life

[an-apology2u]

[an-apology2u]

[an-apology2u]

[an-apology2u]

[an-apology2u]

Ain't this my everyday thought lol

[an-apology2u]

I hate that I'm not good enough for my family anymore. I'm working 7am-9:30pm just to make enough money to get a house. But I never get to see them. I'm sure my own kid dosent realize I'm his dad insted of somone who visits one day a week. This is killing me. And at this point I think it would be better if my partner found a man with money so they both can have a good life, because I sure as hell cant do it even with 3 fuckin jobs. I'm hating my life so much that I dont care if I die anymore. It's so hard right now with no support.

[an-apology2u]

I dont have a place on this earth anymore

[an-apology2u]

I dont have a place on this earth anymore

[an-apology2u]

I think I just turned off. Like my body still moves. But my mind. My soul. Its empty. Expressionless. Hollow. Gone

[an-apology2u]

I wanna be touched like I matter or like they are so infatuated with me that they want to gently feel my body's stories with ther fingertips

i wanna be touched like this i cant explain it not sexually just i want to be pondered and caressed

[an-apology2u]

I been thinking about dying again. And how beneficial it would be to those around me if I was removed from their lives. Sure they would be a little upset in the beginning. But after that they wont remember me and they will be so much happier

[an-apology2u]

I wish I made you happy.

[an-apology2u]

Well I think I officially gave up on life today. My gf (ex?) Lied to me saying I had some history I deleted that she managed to find on about me watching porn. But I didnt have any of that stuff, and I dont delete anything. And then I mentioned I did one time masturbate recently to a video we made a while ago. And then she got mad that I led because I never told her I masturbated. All because I was depressed and not feeling like I am good enough for bedroom stuff with her. Now she hates me because I lied by forgetting about masturbating to her for 10 seconds a week or so ago. Like wtf