alyssasmaddworld

[alyssasmaddworld]

hiii :3 i have bipolar and i was just wondering if any other bipolar babes out here struggle with MADD more during manic episodes, or if thats just a me thing? it's like, i'm more prone to daydreaming when im manic and i can almost form this delusion where i AM my para but never crossing the boundries of "this is reality vs this is fake"

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just para things like when youre writing a fanfic that is inspired by your daydream and you're like "wow omg this is flowing REALLY well... am i sure im not coping anyone or something? it feels like it really coming .... from... within me... WELL SON OF A BITCH ITS BECAUSE MY PARA HAS TOLD ME THIS BEFORE"

[alyssasmaddworld]

does this count....

[alyssasmaddworld]

sandbox paracosm

a paracosm in which you can play around in and do anything with, a world where you can roam freely. doesn’t have a linear storyline, or at least not a big one. can change drastically and has minimal limitations. often includes a multitude of small stories/events.

[alyssasmaddworld]

nobody:

me having to pause a scene to monologue what’s about to happen next because it feels like my para’s won’t know the plot unless i say it:

[alyssasmaddworld]

there's this level of dissociation that goes hand in hand with daydreaming and i feel like it's something i wouldn't know how to begin explaining to somebody who's anti-endo.

maladaptive daydreaming is not inherently caused by trauma. it's considered something you use to cope with it. but for a LOT of people, and as confirmed in multiple studies, it is a dissociative disorder. there's even a level of plurality with it.

you have these people in your head, and you cant destroy them. a lot of them can feel like REAL people. you create worlds, plot lines, and you connect with these characters in a way where they slowly become their own being. their own person. how is this ANY different from being plural?

the answer is: it's really not. if you view plural as synonymous with systemhood then maybe i can see why you'd have a problem with the phrasing, but based off of the actual definitions of plural, maladaptive daydreaming fits the criteria.

the next issue that people tend to have with maladaptive daydreaming being considered plural is that maladaptive daydreaming isn't its own disorder. but something doesnt need to be a disorder for it to be significant in the mental health industry.

a common "rebuttle" of endogenic systems is that they "appropriate" other cultures, but what most people making this argument fail to realize is that, this is HOW culture works. western culture is actively affected by the cultures of other areas. do you genuinely believe that theres not a single Buddhist in america practicing tulpulmacy? that this is SOLELY a non-western phenomenon? then why is "traditional traumagenic" mentioned at all, and not JUST traumagenic?

but there are articles that talk about the importance of listening to the internet, and the words they've cultivated. something i've been told is irrelevant because "an endo made that word" IS BEING heard by therapists all across the globe, not just in america.

"the reader is reminded that culture is dynamic rather than static, meaning that just as our understanding of the online community is different today than it was twenty years ago, this will continue to shift and evolve into the future as well"

things CHANGE. research ADVANCES. and with that, we also know that maladaptive daydreaming is BEYOND VALID on the dissociative spectrum. it has ALWAYS been there, it just wasn't considered a disordered behavior before the 2000s.

on top of this, there's a study that further affirms it's place in the endogenic sphere specifically.

despite this, her brain scans showed "great activity in the ventral striatum, the part of the brain that lights up when an alcoholic is shown images of a martini. Frankly it was super strong"

this means she isn't just mind wandering. mind wandering is what people THINK daydreaming is.

"Mind wandering refers to the occurrence of thoughts that are not tied to the immediate environment—thoughts that are not related to a given task at hand"

mind wandering lights up the Default Mode Network side of the brain, the DMN. the DMN controls Autobiographical information, Memories of collection of events and facts about one's self, Self-reference, Referring to traits and descriptions of one's self.

maladaptive daydreaming has its own dissociative absorption, and it affects the brain differently than mind wandering. it's a proper form of dissociation.

and..would you look at that?? spiritual practices are mentioned. i wonder which endogenic system that reminds me of! (much love to sophie!). it's just further credence towards the fact that non-traumatic systems can exist. why else would maladaptive be on the spectrum, honestly?

trauma doesn't CAUSE maladaptive daydreaming. trauma doesnt cause dissociative absorption. they are ALL coping mechanisms as a way to deal with whatever trauma may be going on-- or it can literally be a choice in the sense that you can actively choose to get absorbed into a book, or how you choose to maladaptive daydream. you can let it interfere with your life and become debilitating and disordered (because sometimes people dont WANT to change) but this doesnt mean it's traumatic.

with all this being said, how is this not a valid presentation of plurality?

[alyssasmaddworld]

babygirl i know daydream lore that you wouldn't even care about

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[alyssasmaddworld]

Sorry about your boyfriend. Yeah I placed him into my paracosm. I fundamentally changed him to fit the narrative. He's basically a whole different person now. Sorry....

[alyssasmaddworld]

Maladaptive Daydreaming hack:

When listening to music in languages you don't understand the lyrics can be whatever the hell you want

Like oh this actually love song??? Nah it's my character singing about their life and hyperspecific situation and it's her hitting these high notes

[alyssasmaddworld]

I know fantasizing about yourself being in media you enjoy isnt that rare but i dont know how many people take it to the level i do. I give myself highly detailed back stories that link into the lore and small details about "my charecter design" and even think of "fans" reactions and thoughts. All in public settings looking like 😐

[alyssasmaddworld]

"Not all men" you're right my paras would never

[alyssasmaddworld]

Thinks about that one media so hard that the little guys start manifesting in my brain

[alyssasmaddworld]

“Social battery used up, I’m off to a world inside my own head”

[alyssasmaddworld]

it’s MY fictional world and I get to make the plot holes

[alyssasmaddworld]

here's a little reminder that no one can read your mind or see your "weird" or "bad" thoughts and daydreams! mind readers are not real, and your inner world is entirely private. your thoughts and daydreams are not embarrassing or bad, and they do not define your morality!

everyone who keeps saying shit like "sounds like something a mind reader would say" or "mind readers are real actually" i will eat you to death and enjoy every minute of it. not the time or place

[alyssasmaddworld]

Hey don't cry. 100+ silly guys in Situations running around in your head ok?