alpharaposa

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Snowy sunflowers

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god can you imagine glados equipped with tiktok therapyspeak. she’d be unbearable

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people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

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vampire who’s married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

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[ID: a screenshot of the “Almost Christmas” Ace Attorney meme behind a slightly transparent stock image of an ice cube. End ID.]

it’s defrosting

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I think Odysseus is the guy everyone else makes talk to the cops when they show up to bust the party.

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I feel like how dumb Gawain ends up looking in screen adaptations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight depends entirely on how hard the costume designer goes on the titular Knight. Like, there's a definite point beyond which you've gotta be like, dude, look at him – of course he's gonna get back up.

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Immortal Unlife Part 1

This is how it ends: in pain and rage and despair, standing atop a rise and staring up-up-up at the Soul King’s Palace so far overhead, acknowledging the truth of his life, the truth of his existence, and the inevitability of everything he’s worked to become and— This is how it ends: shoving-shoving-shoving until his guest-savior-damnation finally pulls away, pulls free, one painful centimeter…

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Here’s to 2023, a year of as many little courageous kindnesses as possible. ♥️

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Years ago I remember reading an article with historians trying to figure out what the heck kind of disease would put Tiny Tim in a leg brace and eventually kill him but could magically be cured with a giant bag of money.

Rickets. The answer was rickets. This kid was dying of vitamin d deficiency he literally just needed some cod liver oil shoved down his gullet and a trip to the beach it makes me so mad

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I've been rewatching Stargate SG-1, and... my guys...

The audio is so clear. Even during a firefight, when characters are "whispering", I can hear what everyone is saying. The loud noises aren't overwhelming. I can turn off the subtitles

In dark scenes, things are well lit, and I can see what's going on

The action scenes are clear easy to follow

There are practical effects mixed with CGI

How is this SciFi channel show from the 90s more watchable than modern, big budget movies today?

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stuff they actually let happen on Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Godzilla tried to eat Chancellor Palpatine

Darth Maul came back from the dead as a crime boss with robot legs and had a giant angry brother named Savage

Jabba the Hutt’s uncle was an offensive gay stereotype

Palpatine had a gigantic forehead for literally no reason

Zombie episode

They named a Jedi “I’m Gonna Die” and then killed him

Some senator had a sex robot

All the Twi’leks had French accents

Ahsoka got hunted for sport

Anakin had to do elaborate BDSM roleplay with an evil cat lady

Dooku was almost murdered by the Macbeth witches

Hondo Ohnaka

Yoda made contact with Qui-Gon Jinn’s ghost but the other Jedi just thought he had dementia

0.07 seconds after leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka crashed her motorcycle, got a girlfriend, and ended up smuggling drugs for the mob

Anakin and Obi-Wan met the physical incarnations of the Dark and Light Sides of the Force and they looked like a goth drama queen and his cottagecore sister and both of them were furries

Ahsoka got bit by an evil rat which made her evil for awhile

Jar Jar killed a guy

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No offense but I think some of you would be a lot happier writing a fictional atlas or encyclopedia instead of a narrative story

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Younger writers. Please, just know that you could not skip to different songs on a cassette tape, that’s CDs. With tapes you pressed fast forward or rewind and prayed.

Also, VHS tapes did not have menu screens. Your only options were play, fast forward, rewind, pause, stop, or eject.

Y’all are making me feel like the crypt keeper here, I’m begging you 😭