alphabetmafiaadventures

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Yoshikage Kira: Where's Diavolo? DIO: Don't worry, I'll find him. DIO, shouting: Funny Valentine sucks! Diavolo, distantly: Funny Valentine is the best person ever! Fuck you! DIO: Found him.

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Gyro Zeppeli: *slams books down in front of Johnny* Gyro Zeppeli: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Johnny Joestar: You could said literally anything else. Gyro Zeppeli: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. Johnny Joestar: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

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Bruno Bucciarati: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Leone Abbacchio: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Bruno Bucciarati: Th-that's not how that works-

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For my king's birthday~

He's pretty af

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Diego Brando: Do you guys hear something? Johnny Joestar: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.

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Jotaro Kujo: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

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Guido Mista: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse..." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..."

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Gyro Zeppeli: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. Diego Brando: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? Gyro Zeppeli: I like the way you think.

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Pannacotta Fugo, holding a fork: You know you're talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket. Illuso: ... Pannacotta Fugo: *lip smack*

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Guido Mista: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

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*Diavolo dies in a game with ships* Funny Valentine: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Funny Valentine: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Yoshikage Kira: Legend has it that Diavolo still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Diavolo: Of course I do.

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Gyro Zeppeli: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

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Guido Mista: So... My university introduced "Wellness Geese" to the campus to help students de-stress during the exam period. Guido Mista: Can’t be stressed if you’ve been knocked unconscious, I guess. Pannacotta Fugo: Well, I mean stress is essentially a glitch caused by the fight-or-flight response being turned on all the time for a problem that you can neither flee nor fight, right? So while you’re being actually attacked you’re technically stress free. Leone Abbacchio: “You’re not paranoid if someone is actually out to get you” logic.

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Diego Brando: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Funny's birthday invitations. Scarlet: Well, what are they supposed to say? Kars: "Funny Valentine's birthday". Scarlet: So, what do they say instead? Kars: "Funny Valentine’s bi". Scarlet: Diavolo: Works out either way.

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Leone Abbacchio: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

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Jotaro Kujo: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Narciso Annasui: ... Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

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Diavolo: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? Yoshikage Kira: Your life? Diavolo: I- well yes, but-