ahnaekamotukoukoei

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

Been doing some reflection on what it means to be me's, myselves, and I's. What it means to me to have DID, to be a system of alters, and to be an alter in that system. What a "self" is in relation to all that. And I think I have the beginnings of an answer to that.

The self is the narrative I tell myself about my life. It's about my history and experiences, and it's also about how I perceived that history and those experiences. And that history may stretch back to things I don't personally remember and will not personally remember. Family history, ancestral history, things that happened to me in the womb, and even things that happened to me that I have forgotten.... all of these things make up who I am. But it's not just that history, it's also what I take from it. The lessons I took from it, the scars it left with me, the love and joy that stay with me.

And it's because of this shared history that I have with all these other parts of me, these other "alters", that I can feel confident that we are, indeed, the same self. But I am also my own self, because the way I look at and examine this history of my life is different from how another part of me may tell the story. In that way, this self has many selves. We hold multiple perspectives of the same life and the same story.

In the past, we had a habit of thinking of each other as "alternate universe" selves. But now... I think what may be more accurate is that we are all retellings of the same story. Or even different readers of the same book.

And I think that's kind of how I want people to understand me. My history, my past, is the same and unchanged. But from moment to moment, my understanding of it may be different, and that may color which version of "me" you're talking to. No matter which version you're talking to, though, that's still me. Even if I disagree with the other me. Even if I want to deny and reject that other me. It's still me.

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

Maladaptive daydreaming + dissociation = disaster

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

reblog to send three ghosts after elon musk

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

ok so im currently trying to recount my system/headmates and i have them in sections of "confirmed" "unsure" and "fragments", and for the "unsure" section i usually just put down initials, but now im wracking my brain as to what "SK" stands for and who that is

i really played myself this time huh

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

tw// bug, ants

Didn't sleep much last night because I was suddenly woken up at like 5 am weird itchiness and found out there were fire ants coming from my window to my bed. i got rid of most of em but now i cant relax and its been like 7 hours since then im so exhausted like i havent slept in 2 days, cant have shit around here huh

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

simply plural app: notification for me to log who's fronting

me: STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS I CANT ANSWER

this post was brought to you by a system that's too lazy or too blurry to figure it out

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

hey guys, word of advice;

don't have chronic fatigue and insomnia at the same time

worst combination my body has come up with yet!

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

OK Google,

How the fuck do I stop being host for once and take a vacation?

Send.

(I don't know how Google voice thingy works)

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

sometimes you just have to be a little creature, either full of Every Thought or no thoughts at all, and that's ok <3

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

TFW you have a thought and it just. stops

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

Littles fronting in school is so stressful when ur still cocon cuz ur just WATCHING them process things and attempt to do "big kid work" and its cute and they're trying their best but it's just not working but they're DETERMINED to do it 😭

- 🥯

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

tfw you havent exactly been conscious in a long time so when you finally "wake up" it feels like you time traveled to an alternate universe or something

- 🍞

[ahnaekamotukoukoei]

what was my intention with this anyway

i have no idea tbh