afuckingbitch

[afuckingbitch]

Sanctuary

I have lived here for many years, coming home to it everyday and being inside of your arms has always given me peace. Throughout my life it has seen everything about me, from the way I talk, to the way I sleep. It has seen every inch of my body and soul, making me feel beautiful and at home.

Though there are things I would like to change, no one or thing could ever replace my safe place, for it is my great love. Call me stupid or a fool, but no one could ever make me feel the way you have. With every joke, every smile, and every story that I listen to, has been a core memory in my mind.

I will always think about the way you slipped and fell onto fours on the winter day of December. The way you run towards me like we’ve been separated for a decade, when we just saw each other 10 minutes ago. Your glistening eyes as you look at the meal in front of you, as if you’ve been starved for weeks.

I have come to memorize every part of your being, and every habits you pick up. For every second of the day, you are who I think about and long for. Though as we go farther, our love seems to falter. As the things around us change, you seem to change with it. But I am still here, where we left off.

I’ve tried to move along side with you, but I can’t seem to get the tempo right. With every step I take, you take double. The routes you take are new and far from what I was used to, you used to take the long ways to everywhere we go. For you fear that with the shortest path, the less time you have with me. But now the short path doesn’t look too bad in your eyes, it seems rather convenient.

As I was matching each pace to you, I start to forget about myself. Why do I take the short route with you again? There are strays in this path, and I am highly allergic. Why do I order a salad again? The vinaigrette activates my acid reflux. As I fit in to what you envisioned, I start to fade away.

Our paths seems to parallel from one another, forming other branches that we’re not sure of. Not sure if you’ll achieve your biggest dreams and, not sure if it will cross our roads again. Losing you seemed to be the only way for me to reclaim my smiles, and as I watch your grins and deep dimples form. I start to regret every decision I made before.

Nothing could beat the way my heart broke into a million pieces as I watch the sanctuary that I once owned, be homed by someone else.

[afuckingbitch]

Poems

Sanctuary

[afuckingbitch]

Loise,

Eliana is sweet. Eliana is nice, Eliana has always been the kind hearted girl ever since she was a little girl. From giving pennies to the little boys on the sidewalk, to walking the elderly across the street. Eliana is perfect, Eliana is the top of her class.

…

But so was I, I also gave pennies to the little boys on the sidewalk and give them bread. I also walk the elderly across the street while having a chat. I was also the top of my class, and do extra classes on the side. I work very hard for everything I have, I work part time to afford my dream shoes and bags.

Eliana is from a rich family, one word and she gets everything. She gets him as well..

“I like you…” She says nervously, a lump in her throat forming as she confesses her buried feelings. Astro looks at her, shocked. She does not expect him to know, for she has never shown interest in him before. She would always tease him every second she got, they were best friends.

“I-“

“I don’t expect you to like me back. I just, wanted you to know that.” She interrupts

“You are, one of the nicest girls I know” He breathes out, she looks up at him with expecting eyes.

“I like Eliana, Loise. I thought everybody knew that.” He says nervously, holding the back of his neck.

Her smiling face did not move, but a tear falling down an eye catches his attention. Though he tried to explain, all of his words seemed to go through one ear and out the other. The world around her seemed to blur out and the beautiful man in front of her seemed to be talking in slow motion.

Though he is rejecting her, he still looked as beautiful as ever. The worry in his rich brown eyes was evident, the wrinkles on his forehead which formed because of his frown, made him look really innocent and cute, and as her heart breaks into a million pieces. With shaky hands and trembling legs, she looks away, for she knows with one more second, looking at his gorgeous figure, she’ll faint.

“I know, I just wanted you to know.”


As he was about to say another word, that she might not even hear or understand, she walks away. Every step, heavier than the other. Loise didn’t say it, but the feeling of agony screams throughout her whole body. She feels her tears stream down, but could not do anything about it.

How do you stop tears, when you don’t even know how to stop loving a man who loves someone else? I have always admired you from afar, whatever she did, I did grander.

She buys you a sweater? I make you one. She makes you smile? I make you laugh. Your family likes her? Your family loves me. But how can you like her, and not love me?

Loise trips and landed at the roots of a tree, it seemed to give her the push needed for her to succumb to the pain. What kind of pain? There’s no specific word that could describe what she is going through.

Sadness, disappointment, acceptance and maybe anger? Being angry at herself for even saying anything to him. Because now she has the confirmation of her greatest fear. If you were to describe the feeling in a few analogies. The energy within her seems to be running out, even though all she is doing is sitting down, her limbs are trembling not from the cold, not from fear either, but by some unknown force. Breathing becomes harder and uneven, for her water filled lungs could not allow anything to pass through.

Fainting, the symptoms of fainting is a bit close to what she is feeling. But it is only a fraction of her hurt, for her world was collapsing every minute that goes by, and her will to move forward is withering away.


Why not me?

[afuckingbitch]

Oneshots

Loise

[afuckingbitch]

Couple’s Therapy -

Author: afuckingbitch

Summary: Love story, Therapy for couples go virtual to see if their relationships are worth saving.

Warning: Foul language and Violence ahead, don’t like it, keep it fucking moving then.

(Pictures and GIFS are not affiliated with the story, only used for representation purposes)

Prologue

Chapter 1

[afuckingbitch]

About me.

You’re not gonna like my attitude

Foul Language

Mommy issues

Writer | Singer

Takes forever to update (sorry not sorry)

Masterlist:

Originals

AUs

Oneshots

Poems

[afuckingbitch]

Original Works:

Couple’s Therapy