aeliell

[aeliell]

               CIMETIER //// independent multi-muse featuring iris von everec of the witcher 3: wild hunt. also featuring canon and original characters from the elder scrolls, the witcher, tolkien, dragon age, and more. as adored by billie. 

[aeliell]

               CIMETIER //// independent multi-muse featuring iris von everec of the witcher 3: wild hunt. also featuring canon and original characters from the elder scrolls, the witcher, tolkien, dragon age, and more. as adored by billie. 

[aeliell]

making a multi @cimetier. selective. still on hiatus. but just so people know, if they want to continue following me. 

[aeliell]

making a multi @cimetier. selective. still on hiatus. but just so people know, if they want to continue following me. 

[aeliell]

temp. hiatus.

[aeliell]

The World to Come | Details

[aeliell]

I will sell my long hair for two mother-of-pearl buttons, unclasp my heart from its open bird cage

but not put desire away. Remember, when you see me, I am inside who I was.

— Rachel Zucker, from “NOTE [PERSEPHONE TO HADES],” Eating in the Underworld

[aeliell]

Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell 1968

and she’s so busy bein’ free

[aeliell]

Welp...

[aeliell]

DEAR WORMWOOD, THE OH HELLOS ( 2015 )

some lines have been edited to better fit | change pronouns or gendered words as needed ! content warnings for : n / a

bitter water

“ oh, fair and flighty love. ”

“ you’re the only dove I see. ”

“ could you love me more? ”

“ by the sun and moon i swore that I would never flee. ”

“ i still taste you on my lips. ”

“ lovely, bitter water. ”

“ the terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue. ”

“ i know i shouldn’t love you, but i do. ”

“ i feel it in my soul. ”

“ i feel the empty hole, the cup that can’t be filled. ”

“ i feel it in my blood, in the fire and the flood. ”

“ it’s the beast that can’t be killed. ”

“ even now you mark my steps. ”

“ all the days of our delights are poison in my veins. ”

“ i know i shouldn’t love you, i know. ”

“ i am not a fool entire. ”

“ no, i know what is coming. ”

“ you’ll bury me beneath the trees i climbed when i was a child. ”

there beneath

“ there beneath the willow tree.”

“ i learned a lot about the way of things. ”

“ i learned that everything, the wind, the leaves, has breath inside. ”

“ they were pointing ever east. ”

“ to see the ever-turning aeon cease. ”

“ their wills were ever bent on waiting with all their might. ”

“ i know, i know. ”

“ i know this. ”

“ there is beauty in the way of things. ”

“ there beyond the palisade. ”

“ i saw the morning lead a cavalcade. ”

“ they made a marvel of a display. ”

“ and it made me cry. ”

exeunt

“ i was all alone. ”

“ we were young. ”

“ you were like wine. ”

“ you were heady as the fog rolling in o'er the hillside. ”

“ you were lovely as the song in the air as the wind blows. ”

“ you were opiate as the cold of the frost on the windows. ”

“ lo, the rose is gone from my eyes, so deceiving. ”

“ so, my little dove, i’m afraid i am leaving. ”

“ now, i am not the fool i was when i was younger. ”

“ crocodile eyes, i have seen how you hunger. ”

“ you’re fluttering your lashes, like ashes and embers. ”

“ you’re warm and bright as fire devouring timber. ”

“ no, i cannot trust what you say when you’re grieving. ”

“ so, my love, i’m sorry, but still i am leaving. ”

“ even when you hunt me with ire, relentless. ”

“ batter down my door when you find me defenseless. ”

“ i will not abide all your raging and reaving. ”

“ i have set my mind and my will, i am leaving. ”

caesar

“ hear on the wind how the pendulum swings. ”

“ feel how the winter succumbs to the spring. ”

“ over the palisade morning will break. ”

“ rise up to meet it, oh sleeper, awake. ”

” gather the soldiers, the heir to enfold. ”

“ crown him and give him a scepter to hold. ”

“ sound every horn as the columns extend. ”

“ up to the hill where the king will ascend. ”

“ look to the sky where the sign will be shown. ”

“ heaven and earth and the king on his throne. ”

this will end

“ no, i am not afraid to die. ”

“ it’s every breath that comes before. ”

“ heartache, i’ve heard, is part of life. ”

“ i have broken more and more. ”

“ i can hope how this will end. ”

“ oh, that we could learn to love without demand, but unreserved honesty. ”

“ i am not afraid to die. ”

“ you are crouching at my door. ”

“ suffering is all there is to gain in life. ”

“ what is all this waiting for? ”

“ i can see how this will end. ”

“ in all its bitter tragedy. ”

“ i’ll give you all i have to spend. ”

“ you’ll give nothing back to me. ”

“ i will wait for this to end. ”

“ the back and forth, the battery. ”

“ you’ll, at last, comprehend the kind of love of which i speak. ”

pale white horse

“ down they fell like the children of eden. ”

“ down they fell like the tower. ”

“ as the land relinquished her ghost. ”

“ heed the sirens, take shelter, my lover. ”

“ flee the fire that devours. ”

“ the sight held me fixed. ”

“ it was like a bayonet against my throat. ”

“ neither plague or famine tempered my courage, nor did raids make me cower. ”

“ his translucent skin made me shiver deep within my bones. ”

“ it was a pale white horse with a crooked smile. ”

“ i knew it was my time.”

“ it was the raging storm of a foreign war.”

“ it was a face I’d seen before. ”

where is your rider

“ was it you ‘mid the fire and the ember? ”

“ were you there to bedevil and beguile? ”

“ see, your face wasn’t quite as i remember. ”

“ i know that wicked shape to your smile. ”

“ bury me as it pleases you, lover. ”

“ at sea, or deep within the catacomb. ”

“ these bones never rested while living. ”

“ how can they stand to languish in repose? ”

“ he has thrown down the cavalry as gravel sinks. ”

“ as the stone founders underneath the sundered sea of red and reed. ”

“ the shadow of hades is fading. ”

“ he has cast down leviathan, the tyrant, and the horse and rider. ”

“ where is your rider? ”

“ he will hold with all of his might the armies of night. ”

“ still as boulders laid to the side ‘til we pass by. ”

“ he has hoisted out of the mire every child. ”

“ lift your voice with timbrel and lyre. ”

“ we will abide, we will abide, we will abide. ”

soldier, poet, king

“ there will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword. ”

“ he will tear your city down. ”

“ there will come a poet whose weapon is his word. ”

“ he will slay you with his tongue. ”

“ there will come a ruler whose brow is laid in thorn. ”

dear wormwood

“ when i was a child, i didn’t hear a single word you said. ”

“ the things I was afraid of, they were all confined beneath my bed. ”

“ the years have been long, and you have taught me well to hide away. ”

“ the things that i believed in, you’ve taught me to call them all escapes. ”

“ i know who you are now. ”

“ there before the threshold, i saw a brighter world beyond myself. ”

“ in my hour of weakness, you were there to see my courage fail. ”

“ the years have been long, and you have taught me well to sit and wait. ”

“ planning without acting, i’m steadily becoming what i hate. ”

“ i have always known you, you have always been there in my mind. ”

“ now i understand you, and i will not be part of your designs. ”

“ i know who I am now and all that you’ve made of me. ”

“ i name you my enemy. ”

“ i know who i am now. ”

“ i know who i want to be. ”

“ i want to be more than this devil inside of me. ”

thus always to tyrants

“ let me die, let me drown, lay my bones in the ground. ”

“ i will still come around when the time for sleep is through. ”

“ over hill, over dale, through the valley and vale. ”

“ do not weep, do not wail. ”

“ i am coming home to you.”

“ every tomb, every sea, spit the bones from your teeth. ”

“ let the ransomed be free as the revel meets the day. ”

“ let the valleys awake, let them rattle and shake. ”

“ in the wind that remakes all that time has worn away. ”

“ to and fro, i will not follow. ”

“ where you go, i will not also. ”

“ i will look for you as the sun rises higher. ”

“ when the dry bones dance with the timbrel and lyre. ”

“ there’s a wind alive in the valley. ”

“ it will fill your lungs, if you’ll have it. ”

“ where i go, will you still follow? ”

“ will you leave your shaded hollow? ”

“ will you greet the daylight looming? ”

“ will you learn to love without consuming? ”

[aeliell]

Today’s misty sunset

My tumblr

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[aeliell]

I wish I had known exactly when my mother would die. As in an appointment. Then I would have moved my feelings earlier. I wouldn’t have painted over her mouth. I wouldn’t have painted over my heart. Now that it’s over, I know the heart doesn’t really shatter, but I also can no longer feel it.

— Victoria Chang, from Obit

[aeliell]

I believed & believed if I took more care with her life there would be a god who cared more than the god who did not think about our bodies, about the divine grief of daughters, about my mother, or the ache in these stanzas, these too-thin veins that still river our lives in blood.

— Rachel Eliza Griffiths, from “Belief,” Seeing the Body

[aeliell]

She smelled like an apple.

VANESSA KIRBY as Martha Weiss in PIECES OF A WOMAN (2020) dir. Kornél Mundruczó.

[aeliell]

new rule: please hard block me instead of soft blocking me. i will assume my internet fucked up or tumblr did and i will likely follow you back again. ** this is not targeting anyone directly, just for the future. 

[aeliell]

i’m not interested in anything anyone has to say abt terrorists breaking into the capitol if it doesn’t include race. don’t just call them trump supporters, don’t just call them right wingers, don’t just call them fascists and don’t imply the only reason they’re not getting shot dead and gassed like thousands of black protesters is because they’re trump supporters.

they’re white domestic terrorists. their whiteness lets them afford the privilege to strut past police and into the biggest government building in the entire country while holding rifles and machine guns. not their political ideology, their whiteness. say it all or shut the fuck up.

[aeliell]

Happy new year!