adekalyn

[adekalyn]

Blaise: Wow! You’ve made a lot of snowmen today.

Draco: Yep. They’re effigies. Each one represents someone I hate.

Draco: When the sun comes out I’ll watch their features slowly melt down their dripping bodies until they’re nothing but noses and eyes floating in pools of water.

Blaise: I wasn’t aware you even knew this many people.

Draco: The ones I really hate are smaller, so they’ll go faster.

[adekalyn]

Mrs. Weasley: Well look at you two! Don't you look all nice and neat!

Fred, hair styled and in formal robes: Yes, we believe in the importance of good grooming.

George: Speaking of which, we’d better go clean our room if we want to be in bed on time.

Mrs. Weasley, watching them walk off: JUST WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO?!

[adekalyn]

Remus: Well look at you! Don’t you look all nice and neat!

Sirius, hair styled and in formal robes: Yes, I believe in the importance of good grooming.

Sirius: Speaking of which, I’d better clean my side of the dorm if I want to be in bed on time.

Remus, watching him walk off: JUST WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!

[adekalyn]

*Draco and Hermione arguing over how she handles issues*

Hermione: Well what would you do if you were me?

Draco: Oh, Granger, if I was you, I would have killed myself years ago.

[adekalyn]

*Britain’s magical population complaining about Fudge’s incompetence*

Fudge, offended: I do the bare minimum, but I don’t do less than that.

[adekalyn]

Professor McGonagall: Six months ago I was merely teaching transfiguration.

Professor McGonagall: Professor Trelawny left without warning, leaving me to cover all her classes. Which was painful.

Professor McGonagall: And then she came back. Which was excruciating.

[adekalyn]

*Orion discussing Walburga’s recent mood change with Abraxas Malfoy*

Orion: I saw a twinkle in her eye I haven’t seen since the neighbourhood children discovered our new electric fence.

[adekalyn]

*Sirius and Regulus watching the Black family fight after learning who Andromeda married*

Regulus: It’s times like these that most families pull together and draw strength from each other.

Sirius: Yes…

Regulus: What shall we do?

[adekalyn]

James to Remus: I want to prove that I’m strong and independent, and I can’t do that alone.

[adekalyn]

*Mrs. Weasley arguing about what actions the Order should take*

Sirius, rolling his eyes: Careful Molly, lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral grounds.

[adekalyn]

*Ron, refusing to leave his mother's side at the magical zoo*

Mr. Weasley, sighing: I would never abandon you at a zoo in the middle of nowhere.

Ron: Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from daycare?

Mr. Weasley: Charlie looked Chinese as an infant. How many times must I defend myself?

[adekalyn]

*Professor McGonagall suggesting that Snape not be the one to hand out awards to Slytherin students*

Professor McGonagall: Perhaps someone more emotionally on par with them.

Professor Snape, staring blankly at her: I am good at emotion.

[adekalyn]

*Lavender, dancing around the common room*

Ron: Are you sober?

Lavender: No, Aquarius.

[adekalyn]

*Lavender, attempting to give Hermione dating advice*

Lavender: You know what the fastest way to a man's heart is?

Hermione: Yes, through his chest.

[adekalyn]

*The day after Fred and George decided to have a firework show in the kitchen*

Mrs. Weasley: The contractor says it will cost about $200 to fix.

Mr. Weasley, face palming: Those dumb kids!

Mrs. Weasley, hugging Mr. Weasley: Well, it's all part of raising a child, right?

Mr. Weasley: Mm.

Mrs. Weasley: You're not sorry we had the twins, are you?

Mr. Weasley: Are you?

Mrs. Weasley: I asked you first...besides, it wasn't all my decision.

Mr. Weasley: All I know is that I offered to buy us one of those nice muggle vehicles, but no, you said...

[adekalyn]

*When Professor McGonagall isn't present*

Substitute Teacher: Good morning, class. I'll be your substitute teacher today.

Substitute Teacher: Professor McGonagall left me instructions as to what we need to go over, so we shouldn't have any problems.

Substitute Teacher: Oh wait, here's a note she added. Just a second...

Substitute Teacher, unamused: Okay, who are the Messers Weasley?

Two voice at the back of the class: NOT US.

[adekalyn]

Draco Malfoy: You know, I’ve realized I’m probably just perfect and it’s everyone else around me that’s got issues.