a-uspicie

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What is a mysotis? -To an amnesiac like me

(-XI aged Mysotis)

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Oasisintheodysseybuti'dratherbeblind.

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It's a lil beautiful to be stashed into the reservoir of things that might make me happy someday.

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Tonight I'll dress up the color of your mattress and let you look for me in the lightlessness. Having things to imitate everyday saddens my blood as still murky water, for the most nights I am the walls but today is the privilege to taste the hurt in a different flavor.

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Longing comes in all Colors, in all emotions, all the phases of moon, all the types of kisses, all types of distances, in paranoias, in blushing, in saddening and rotting. But the cruelest is the one that knocks with aggression, when there are no other options left to blame...

The world is flooding, I'll not die, nor be rescued, i might just spend the time holding on to the anonymous ships.

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The enchantment of the world we live in is quite blinding,The numerosity, The depth, The opalescence, The unravelling... All of it seems surreal. Invisible things come to life, Be huge and go Invisible again. I feel like I am mere eyeballs, who only picture, but sometimes I translate it into a language & what i lately wrote was that the magnificence can also be dangerous, how i've misled myself in all this odyssey of picturing, how sometimes my hopelessness makes me desire things that don't belong to my mind, how sometimes I've dreamt of being a twig ,not for what it does, but what it gets, To be a Twig;

To have somebody's back all the time, holding you all the time,

To float in the air, knowing you can't fall...

Or maybe a Flower ;

Bc the beauty we're born with takes us really far, It paves the way,

& vice-versa, unfortunately.

But then I remind myself of millions of women who've been behind me, alive or dead, who've put their whole lives not for this,

Not for young girls like me to dream of being a twig...

What is a twig? Anyone who surrenders is a twig ;

A woman patriarchy has tied to its roots,with shackles on her feet, is a twig.

& I'd decide to die & rot to nourish the flora then be put to eat in front of patriarchal monsters,

No Shubh! Hopelessness & exhaustion shouldn't be homed for long...

What you wanna be is a creeper.

go a long way,

Spread like a disease,

Travel the realms.

They're gonna call you fragile for your tiny waist & skinny hands but y're not skinny, y're slender & strong & one who tries to step on you will trip the ground,

That I don't wanna be a flower,

I dont want my body to become what they expect it to be so i can get upgraded for vulgar stares and smug about it, I want to be more then what I'm born with, I want to justify what am born with & the saying that we're born empty handed is not true, you & me, we're born with everything.The air, The water, The land, these are'nt gifts, these are'nt for you to have & rant bout being hopeless in life.

You owe them,

their protection,

their respect,

You owe the world Kindness, Fearless, Truth,

You owe the world ev'thing u can deliver.

To make the air proud to exist in yr lungs.

You can't just dream of being a twig to somebody else's tree, You are yr own creeper.

Happy aging y'all, I hope u make the most of it.

lots of strength 💐,

- Shubhi

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Brother said, "Promise me No Alcohol"...

So my self sufficient mind ferments my words for me, that leave me blind drunk on maudlin lit evenings 🍷

But my baby brain also recipes Mocktail 🍹, when I add a pinch of distraction, that's how I wake up free from hangover :)

That's my lil life, i call "conundrum" with love, but for the time I have been here on this planet, I am really grateful, I am grateful to have been put in the arms of sweet people who home me. I'm grateful to have come across lives, to have got to see people, hear them, touch them and know them...

Grateful to be acquainted by my plants, my dictionaries, my candles, my journals, my babe bottle (of elixir of neutrality), my limbs and so much i can't seem to hold together in my words...

If i could translate the macroscopic view of how i justify my breaths, it could have been this, If it were a last piece of wordings, it would have looked this way but maybe i won't be lucky enough to speak my mind fir the last episode of "Conundrum", so let's just assume it as my last. In case my lungs wished to hibernate without letting me know, Those who care about me,Just know I'm grateful...

I was*

But right now I ain't a faded luminosity at the rings of saturn or at the cresence of moon, I am amidst of Human Inventions with my Binocular eyes 👁‍🗨, so heyy Tumblrites, I hope we have a good time, wishing you guys sun and warmth.

This is the bridged and Visual version of my daughter, Miss Affection Auspicie

My pronouns are she/her.

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Hey dear, Tee

@unknownvari

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Coincidence? Perhaps strong internal feels! 🚬

"I cant take it, it wasn't fake, it happened when you passed by... Now you're gone, now you're gone somewhere i cant bring you back "

@thebestdamnthing

@mermaidinthecity

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♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

like or reblog

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMINEM ♥️

You mean so much to me and I really love you, love shady too.

This journey started since I was ten, i can't be more proud of that 10 yr old and the reason is you.

P. S. You're so good looking and Adorable

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💯💯 Let's be safe for others, we don't realise but we can be the latter to the world.

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♥️

Lovely

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♥️!

Looking For Alaska

Episode 6: We Are All Going