#close to retiring from all social media except here

[charmac]

[miguel-owhora]

i just got my first hate ask about my stepcest works, so here's another au: stepdad!price who becomes enamored by his husband's himbo of a stepson!reader.

CW: 18+ , stepdad!price , stepson!reader , himbo!reader , pervert!price , cum eating , size difference , implied age difference , stepcest , dark content ; fems/minors/pronounless/ageless/empty blogs DNI or DNF

you're this big burly kid, taller and bigger than price, built like a linebacker. but my god are you kind; nothing less of a proper gentleman when your dad introduces price to you. you're so big your hand swallows up john's fucking hand, and fuck, he barely met you but he has to have you.

it's fortunate for him—and unfortunate for you—that you're not the brightest bulb. at least, not bright enough to realize price's intentions when he tries to get closer to you. everyone in the family plays it off as him just wanting to get close to his stepson—especially when he's kind to your siblings. perhaps not the most emotionally open to them—and of course you're the exception to this—but he's kind, and that all that matters.

price is a retired captain, a retired soldier; he was clever and cunning when he was soldier, and even as a retired man that hasn't changed.

he reminds you to take breaks from doing your college work, bringing in snacks and drinks. when he gets your guard down, he even goes as far as to massage your shoulders, watering at the mouth at the feeling of your broad shoulders, of the muscles hidden underneath a soft layer of fat. fuck, it makes him chub in his underwear.

speaking of underwear, he takes up the chore of washing everyone's clothes. of course he does it just to steal your underwear and fuck his own fist to an orgasm with your briefs, your heavy musk, suffocating him. it's the hardest he cums, shuddering and flushed all over his body.

fuck, he'd be so touchy with you. pressing his hand along your back whenever he passes by, along your waist and accidentally brushing his hand along your ass hgmfkf or maybe even standing behind you whenever you're washing something or cooking, subtly brushing his cock against your ass! and you're so dumb, so perfect, you don't even fucking notice.

price would be the type of guy to for sure stalk your social medias. downloading photos of you to his phone, ones where you don't have your shirt on, when you're wearing shorts, where your bulge strains against your pants—he definitely jerks off to them.

john would enjoy cooking, genuinely. he likes having something to do and you cannot tell me this man doesn't cook well, because he does! with nothing to do as a retired captain, he likes to be busy, it's familiar to him. anyways, it also gives him the chance to mix his cum into your meals. coffees, yogurts, shakes, smoothies, sundaes, desserts—if he can hide it, he will absolutely cum inside your food.

part of him feels guilty for doing it, but whenever you gobble it up and compliment him on his food without fail, there's a bigger part of him that feels good about it.

[thesmallmeggles]

〰️ Lo-Wav Delay 〰️ (LWD for short)

Another Role Swap AU!? The idea initially sparked after seeing @gorochuva 's Vandelay Sibling swap and I wanted to push it further. I know @magmalaz also has a role swap au, but it'd be weird for me not to share mine when I mentioned it in my playlist post. So here we go. 🙃

What's This All About?

Roxanne and Kale lead Vandelay Technologies together, with Kale developing SPECTRA in secret. Unlike in canon, Roxanne discovers it early on and fires Kale on the spot.

The corporate culture at Vandelay is healthier than canon, but there's an undercurrent of unease. Misbehaving employees return from Human Resources listless, robotic. It has not escaped Kale's notice. He looks into it, discovering to his horror that Roxanne revived SPECTRA and that she plans to include it inside Project Armstrong applicants' prosthetics.

Kale and his team has a month to shut down SPECTRA before Project Armstrong launches. Assuming they can get their act together.

The Protagonists

Mimosa, Social Media Account Manager for Vandelay Tech and a former pop star. Assumes Chai's role. She joins the team after an interrupted HR referral. (Girl dodged a bullet.)

Kale Vandelay , disgraced former Vice President. The Peppermint to Mimosa's Chai and 1/2 of Mission control (shared with Roquefort). An important detail to note is that none of his teammates knows he created SPECTRA in the beginning.

Roquefort, retired economic advisor and Kale's business mentor. He hasn't been converted into a robo-werewolf so he is... fragile.

W01F-G4NG, Roquefort's robotic service dog (commissioned by Kale). 100% Certified Good Boy. Like 808, Wolfie acts as Roquefort's eyes and ears on the field in addition to being the squad telephone.

Zanzo, an eccentric engineer evading disciplinary measures by hiding in a storage area he converted into an office. He's in Macaron's role, but with Korsica's mechanics. Zanzo alternates between a walker and wheelchair because of his Cerebral Palsy (headcanon go brr). He doesn't have cybernetics as he can't afford them.

Rekka, a Production supervisor with a near flawless conduct and output records. The Korsica of the team (with similar mechanics to Macaron), as she needs further convincing to go against Vandelay.

Also a secret temporary teammate who I'm not going to name. 🤫

The Antagonists

Roxanne Vandelay, founder and CEO of Vandelay Technologies. Assumes Kale's role. Foils Mimosa in a similar way to Chai and Kale.

Chai, newly hired Brand Ambassador for the pending Project Armstrong. Works closely with the Head Of Marketing. Might still have musical and magnetism powers, only on purpose this time.

808, pretty much the same except she can turn into a panther mech.

Peppermint Vandelay, favored younger Vandelay sibling (according to Kale). Officially on record as a programmer, but her role in the company is closer to VP. Peppermint heads Vandelay Tech's "secret security force" which consists of her, 808, Chai, Macaron, CNMN, and Korsica.

Macaron, Head of Research and Development.

CNMN is considered the co head of R&D. He also helps out in Human Resources.

Korsica, heads Security after the previous head quit without notice. She's still getting used to her position six months on.

Also OC department heads for Production, Marketing, Finance, and Human Resources

The AU Name

Hi-Fi RUSH -> Lo-Wav Delay

Subtle reference to Ultra Low Frequency. Definition: Ultra Low Frequency (ULF) is a low frequency electromagnetic wave band that can penetrate the earth. It's used for communications in mines and might aid in predicting earthquakes in the future.

If LWD were a game, I see its gameplay as being more stealth and social engineering based. Also puzzles and Space Channel Five type rhythm sections (since Mimosa is the player character).

[misssophiachase]

I still hide you in my poetry

Nick and Charlie parted years ago, their unresolved feelings just that. Fast forward three years later and they come back together where long-hidden truths are finally revealed.  

Nick…

Although he’d suggested their meeting, Nick wasn’t expecting to feel quite so much from one brief glance across a crowded room. 

Seated in a corner booth and huddled over a notebook with his pen scribbling away madly, Nick would know those unruly, dark curls obscuring his face and the well-worn pair of white converse peeking out from under the table anywhere. It was as if he’d been transported right back to form room when they shared a desk and their unlikely friendship began. 

It had been three years since they last saw each other after their high school chapter at Truham Grammar had closed. Nick was awarded a rugby scholarship to Exeter and Charlie was a music major at University College in London.

Although they continued to follow each other on social media, it was hardly what would be considered a real friendship. Nick had played back their time together on repeat and spent the past few years reading something into every picture Charlie posted on Instagram. 

Of course, he’d liked every photo that included Tao, Elle, Tara, Isaac, and Darcy but every time there was someone new he’d hold back. Looking back it was immature but he didn’t like the thought of Charlie being with anyone else except…

Well, him.  

Charlie raised his eyes unexpectedly, Nick remembering just how much he loved that lopsided grin. That wasn’t the only thing he loved about him either and Nick’s biggest regret from that time was what had been left unsaid because he was too scared to admit the truth. 

He loved Charlie Spring. 

“I knew you’d be late,” he joked, moving over to make some space in the booth. 

Nick gave a brief smile in response wondering how he was going to focus given his familiar and welcoming scent. He’d actually held onto Charlie’s jumper an extra week in grade eleven given its familiar smell which gave him comfort he didn’t know he needed.   

“So, why are you already here then?” He teased, probably against his better judgment. 

“I was hungry so I ordered hot chips but don’t think you’re getting any,” he laughed, his amber eyes emitting the warmth Nick remembered so well. 

“And to keep scribbling in that notebook I see,” he gestured towards the messy writing that Charlie quickly covered with his hand. “Is that more poetry?”

“If you want me to write more poetry for any girlfriends like you did in high school, I am officially retired from the matchmaking business,” he quipped. 

Nick stilled wondering what Charlie would say if he knew the actual truth.

Charlie…

He’d been so nervous when Nick suggested a meeting in London. They hadn’t seen each other in three years and their recent contact had been nothing more than a sprinkle of likes and a couple of innocuous comments on Instagram. 

Charlie had studied his profile too many times online, tracing the slight differences in his face and expression. Every picture of any unknown girl warranted a quick scroll because of the unease it caused. He had dutifully written the typical comments under his posts even if he wanted to write something else. 

I love you, Nick Nelson. 

Tao told him in no uncertain terms not to go, so too Elle, but he’d decided that if it was the last time they’d see each other he wanted that final memory, the final joke, the final word, and that final smile he’d already committed to memory.   

Charlie noticed, upon inspection, that his hair was shorter today but it only accentuated the cute smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and that cheeky smile. 

“So, what exactly are you writing then?” 

Charlie didn’t expect the question from Nick of all people. It seemed too close and intimate for their usual fun and light hearted conversations. 

“You know, just stuff,” he lied. Of course it was poetry. 

“Well, I’d love to hear your just stuff,” Nick murmured, his hand reaching out and placing it gently over his. “Only if you want to share, of course.”

He’d imagined Nick holding his hand for years but wasn’t quite ready for just how right it felt. Charlie looked at him, his eyes doing the questioning given he couldn’t find the words. 

“Do you want to know a secret?” He asked and Charlie nodded, albeit numbly. 

“When I asked you for that first poem it was for a girl I briefly liked but I never gave it to her,” he admitted. “I kept your poem and all of the others you wrote.”

“But why?” He bit out in disbelief. 

“Why do you think, Charlie?” He asked quietly, his hand squeezing his comfortingly. It’s what he’d been waiting for since they first met but given how unexpected it all was, Charlie was still in denial. 

“Do you want to know a secret?” 

Nick nodded, sending an encouraging grin his way, complete with those disarming dimples. 

“I wanted you to like my poetry because it was meant for you, all of it,” Charlie confessed. “If I’m being completely honest, I still hide you in my poetry like I did back then.”

“No more hiding, okay?” Charlie smiled, feeling a slight blush cross his cheeks. “And I think it’s about time you read everything to me,” he said, gesturing to his notebook. “We can do it while we wait for those chips you’re so going to share with me.”

He shared his chips, begrudgingly of course, but they also shared much more that day. 

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [1247]

“You're not the sort of type to say you don't believe in magic, are you?” Dr. Pavus asks, handing Ellan another cup of water. This one Ellana manages to hold on her own, though Dr. Pavus’ hand lingers close in case she falters. “We get those sort now and again. It’s always rough. Sera, Varric, Malika — those names mean nothing to you, of course. But they’re prime examples of people who all got the same metaphorical and literal veil ripped from their eyes, same as you, but took it in vastly different ways.”

The magic and supernatural are real. Ellana doesn’t struggle with that concept. Ellana’s hand a many headed wolf haunting her since practically birth. What Ellana struggles with is —

“But why me?” Ellana asks. “There’s nothing special about me.”

“Oh, I know,” Dr. Pavus nods. “Trust me, we all know. We’ve gone through your family lineage from to back almost ten generations now. Your family does have immaculate tracing by the by. It’s very impressive. Most people who aren’t in the possession of obscene and frankly dubious amounts of wealth don’t keep track past their great grand parents. But yes. No offense meant, but your family tree’s only distinguishing feature is that it’s remarkably intact and traceable. No one of note — well, not for our purposes. I’m sure that somewhere along those branches there’s someone important in some way.”

“We’re regular people with blue and white collar jobs. Upper middle class is the best it’s ever gotten for us.” Though certainly not the worst. “You can say it. We’re average. It isn’t an insult.”

“For some people it is.” Dr. Pavus shrugs. He crosses his legs, resting his elbow on his knee as he leans his chin on his fist. “And then there’s you. Ellana Lavellan. I’m technically not a medical professional you know. I am a scientist. I do have a doctorate. But I am not a medical professional. In a pinch I suppose I could be helpful to someone with actual medical knowledge. I’m a biologist. And, in the Inquisition, a part time mortician. I was called in to start checking your corpse.”

“I don’t feel like I’ve died.”

“I would say most people don’t, but most people don’t stay dead for seven hours and then come back to the living. You are quite special in that regard. Among others, I’m sure, but we haven’t gotten to that yet.”

“I have student loans, I live in a shared house, I work as a nurse in a retirement home,” Ellana rattles off. “I drive a second hand car that I got off of one of my cousins for cheap. I think the most expensive thing I own is my phone. There’s nothing special about me.”

“Except?”

Ellana closes her eyes, sitting back against the raised up head of the hospital bed.

“An affectation of childhood that grew with me.”

“There it is.”

“But my question isn’t as to whether that’s unusual or not. I know it is. If you say it’s magic or ghosts or whatever, then it probably is. I don’t have a better way to explain it. My question is — why me? Why did it choose me?”

“That’s what we’d all love to know.”

Ellana opens her eyes to see the woman from earlier has returned, again flanked by the same Qunari man and also joined by a red headed woman.

“I’m Evelyn Trevelyan,” the first woman says. “I’m the leader of the Inquisition. I trust Dorian’s explained everything by now?”

“Enough of it,” Ellana answers.

“This is Leliana, and this is the Iron Bull. They’re also members of the Inquisition. We’re going to try and sort out what’s going on here and see what we can do.” Evelyn pulls up a plastic chair next to Dr. Pavus’. “And I understand that this is a lot, especially if you weren’t born into it or given any gradual lead in. If you need to take a break you can say so. You aren’t under arrest, you aren’t being charged with anything. You are remanded into our custody, but you aren’t a prisoner. You can make phone calls, you can use your phone, browse the internet, go on social media, fact check everything if you want to. Within reason. We’d greatly prefer if you didn’t do a selfie and then tag this place. This was explained to you, right?”

Ellana nods. Someone had returned her phone earlier and helpfully loaned her a charger with an extra long cable, which is plugged into the wall next to her bed. Her bag had been salvaged from the scene of — whatever that car chase was — and is sitting on a table near the door. She’d half-heartedly gone through it earlier. Everything was there.

“What we would like to have explained to us,” Leliana says, “Is why the Acolytes of the Wolf seemed to be chasing after you.”

“I’m sure you’d like that explained to you also.”

Ellana shrugs. “As Dr. Pavus and I were saying to each other, there’s nothing special about me at all.”

“Everyone has something special about them,” Leliana says. “I’m not saying this to be nice.”

“She rarely says anything to be nice,” The Iron Bull says.

“I mean. I, myself, have nothing special about me. There’s no reason for any of this to come to me,” Ellana explains. “I’m pathetically average in every way. Whatever talents or traits of mine that come above that are balanced out by the ones that fall below. There’s only one thing special about me and I have no idea why — if it’s connected to any of this — it would choose me of all people.”

“What is it?”

Ellana’s eyes slide behind all of them, to the wall, the door. She’d seen it when people were coming in and out. The wolf. Shrunk down small enough to fit in the hallway of whatever kind of building she’s in. But its many eyes were still open. Watching her. Its mouths slightly open and panting.

“The wolf,” Ellana answers calmly. “The many headed wolf.”

[mish-tique]

Hii, please don't be sad!! You didn't fail kinktober. I just hope you're doing fine and okay. Writing should be fun and relaxing (pretty sure it's really not), you shouldn't be getting tired because of it so rest up!! Don't be pressured by us readers!!

And if you feel sad about this, completely valid! i hope carlos' pole made you feel better!!

SPOILERS for "The Risk of It All"

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Oooh i was waiting for this one actually, glad i'm getting it early

"His laptop is on his bed, and the stream Max is filming downstairs plays with the sound not too loud. Their apartment is isolated very badly, they discovered one night when Lando had been jerking off in his bedroom and Max could hear every single sound he made downstairs" <- boyfriends 🥺🥺

"Especially when it can hurt Max." <- and this line, i love how lando loves max

"At that thought, he bites his lip and turns the buttplug’s vibrations another level higher, then another without allowing Max an adjustment period." <- i just know that there's one or more watching fans making up scenarios in their head about the blush on max's face or the stutters that fall from his mouth

"anything somewhat related to public indecency gets them both going" <- i'm betting everything that they've done it on track already after one of lando's debriefs and the paddock seemed quiet enough that they could sneak off to the track

"It’s going to be so much fun to analyze the video later and point out all of Max’s tells and watch his boyfriend’s slightly humiliated reaction to it all. " <- they'd also be scrolling down some social media site and see the reaction pics that fans are making from the stream

😳😳😳😳😳

"starting next week im going to work full time" <- hope it won't be too tiring and that it'll be fun, and that you have nice colleagues and boss

drink lots of water and eat lots of comfort food! here's some roses, i hope they add to your day!!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

-Rose 🥺🌹

Carlos' pole def made me feel better!! even more so when i got absolutely black out drunk after that. like. you win some. (and you lose some directly after when that man retires one corner in.)

And it kind of sucks because i know i shouldn't be tired but I am because i was going so well? like normally when I try these kind of things i give up pretty early and then the disappointment isn't big either, but now things were going so well and ugh. i was so close. but the last left over projects for kinktober are quite big ones, with the exception of one, so i want to properly take my time for it and make people happy, so I'm going for quality over quantity.

nortrell boyfriends >>>

eheheh what if a fan writes a fanfic which ended up being reality

Lando: hey max, come read this

Max: ??? what's this

Lando: someone wrote a fic about you being fucked while on stream.

Max: ...did they know??

Lando: no, but they were close

please. on track. at the golfing club. at some beach club. on the beach. anywhere. everywhere.

And thank you! The job is very fun! and at first I thought i would be able to handle it like, energy wise, but yesterday it got me so exhausted i went to sleep at 20:30 like some granny LMAO. today i might at least be able to see it become 21:00. But my colleagues are nice! and i don't see my boss LMAO. something about nurses and being able to run stuff themselves.

my current food obsession is nature valley's protein peanut & chocolate bar. absolutely amazing.

I hope your college work is going well, that you are managing to find rest and time to sleep enough, and that you adjust well to the fall coming, if you're on this side of the earth.

[uminabeachaustralia-blog]

Single level living with private driveway access

[sj-ficrecs]

fic rec 11!

just a random collection of what I’ve read and enjoyed lately. as usual, no specific order.

This is purely a fic rec blog, always reblogging fics I enjoy. usually Bucky x reader, sometimes Steve x reader, Chris Beck x reader, etc. So check out more I’ve reblogged on this page. :) See my past fic recs below:

PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE! // Q & A

(divider by @bwbatta)

Bucky x reader:

Flashing Lights by @pellucid-constellations​ Paramedic!Bucky x reader

“Bucky’s worst fears come true when he’s called to a scene. If he’s the one with the dangerous job, then why is it your life that’s hanging in the balance?”

Operation: Freefall by @constantwriter85​ Bucky x reader

“When Bucky fell from the train in 1945, he didn’t just leave behind his family and friends. He left behind the girl he was going to marry, a girl he never stopped loving. Decades later, Bucky continued to search for her, only to find out that she had disappeared without a trace in 1955. But when Steve hands over the shield to Sam Wilson, he also has something for his childhood friend—a redacted S.H.I.E.L.D. file code-named Operation: Freefall, a file with more questions than answers. With Sam’s help and a handful of Pym Particles, the file sends Bucky on a trip to the past, trying to solve the mystery and save the woman he still loves.”

Recovery by @wicked-mind​ Biker!Bucky x reader

“After going through rehab and recovering, you move back to town to live with your mother as you sort out what to do with your life, but your mom has other plans that include hooking you up with a hot biker by the name of James ‘Bucky’ Barnes”

Teacher’s Favorite + Sharing My Sweetheart by @suitk0via​ Single dad!Bucky x teacher!reader

“You are first grade teacher and Bucky is a single dad who wants to be involved with everything his little girl - Elaine - does. He’s the dad all the parent’s and faculty drool over. You quickly become Elaine’s favorite teacher and Bucky’s just gotta meet you.”

Uninvited by @mymoonagedaydream​ modern!Bucky x reader

Reader is a close friend of Sam’s. Sam and Bucky are roommates, so reader spends a lot of time with them. Bucky becomes colder towards reader and they ask Sam about it - finding out Bucky, who is taken, is falling out of love w/ his gf because he has a crush on reader.

You Know Me Too Well by @nexusnyx​ Tattoo Artist!Bucky x reader

“there is a thin line between pain and pleasure. that line is real and palpable, except for the times when you sit in bucky barnes’ table and feel his hands holding your skin. his job demands him to hurt you, but the only problem is that you enjoy it. a lot.”

The Slip Up by @justkending​ dad!Bucky x reader

“After a last hurrah to graduating college with a future to be a family practitioner, a little slip up happens… Seven years down the road, just when things just now seem to be going smoothly, Y/N approaches that slip up from all those years ago. She’s not looking for anything right now. She is just where she wants to be in life. It seems the universe has a different idea though. One called James Barnes.”

Invisible String series by @dirty-holy-things​ Bucky x reader

“You were fairly certain that landing a date through court-ordered therapy was some sort of HIPAA violation, if not just an ethical one, but you couldn’t help but be intrigued by the mysterious storm cloud of a man who you shared the waiting room with every Thursday.”

Sacrifice by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“In the midst of an attack, you’re dosed with an unknown chemical and your healing ability becomes compromised.”

Purgatory by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.”

Behind the Storm by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“On a mission, you’re hit with a spell that takes away your ability to see. Bucky does what he can to make you feel safe.”

We Were Screaming in Color by @samwlscns​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“james buchanan barnes was your soulmate and you were his. despite everything the world threw your way, bucky always kept his promise to make his way back home to you. even if that meant having to lose him more than once.”

Bulova by @babycap​ Bucky x reader

“In the five years between the two snaps that changed it all, life had moved on, as life is want to do. In the aftermath of that final battle, you discover that time waited for no one (least of all you), and those you loved marched forward into it without you. Sam suggests you volunteer at the local retirement community to keep you busy, keep your mind from lingering on what—and who—you lost. In giving back, you find that time can be just as generous as it is cruel. A non-canon compliant, friends-to-lovers fic.”

And They’re Roommates by @golden-barnes​ Modern bartender/roommate!Bucky x reader, New Girl au

“Your boyfriend cheats on you, and now you have nowhere to go. So when you found an ad for a shared loft, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. Come to the realization that you will be sharing it with four guys. Four guys, one of them who is extremely hot and zero brain cells between any of them. What else could you ask for?”

Keep Me Cool by @chouettedubois​ Bucky x reader

“You and Bucky are on your third undercover mission acting as a couple. Things go awry when you fall ill. Cue caretaker!Bucky to the rescue.”

Love in the Workplace by @cxddlyash​ Gardener!Bucky x Receptionist!reader

Working at the same hotel, a new gardener is recently hired.

“Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the new gardener. 

“What is it?” Sarah asks you and you clear your throat before tearing your gaze from the man.

“Uh, nothing. I finally see the gardener that the hotel hired,” you mention while walking closer to the place.”

Dad Biker!Bucky being adorable with his kids blurb by @angrythingstarlight​ dad biker!Bucky x reader

dad biker Bucky and his kids making pancakes and breakfast for mom :)

Tap by @houseravenclaws​ Bucky x reader

“bucky never talked much. he fell in love anyway.”

Teach Me How to Love by @thefalconthatcriedwolf​ Godfather/single dad!Bucky x teacher!reader

“Natasha leaves behind her precious daughter, Yelena, and with her dying breath asks Bucky to look after her. You happen to have Yelena in your class this school year.”

To Build a Home by @buckyjamess-archive​ @buckyjamess​​ Mechanic/single dad!Bucky x single mom!reader

“a mechanic and a nurse walk into a schoolyard..both new in the single parent life, chaos arises when the two come together but they wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A Good Kind of Fire by @dolcezzasfantasy​ Modern!Bucky x reader

“Character A runs a flower shop downtown. Character B is terribly allergic to flowers.”

If I Could Fly by @ceeellewrites​ actor!Bucky x actress!reader, social media au

“Bucky Barnes is an actor with a small (just a tiny) celebrity crush on Y/N L/N, one of the industry’s well-known actress. Well, it’s just a celebrity crush, what could go wrong?”

The Rumour by @sidepartskinnyjeans​ Bucky x reader

“after a, mostly, chance meeting with Sergeant Barnes starts a rumour around the compound that soon gets out of hand.”

See the World the Way You Do by @vanderlustwords​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“You start to see colour when you meet your soulmate. Bucky thinks that soulmates are a one of a kind thing—you get one and that’s it. His world used to be colourful once and then he lost that. He’s resigned to see black and white for the rest of his life…until flashes of colours would appear from the corner of his eye. And it seemed to happen more and more as Bucky spends time with you.”

Crawl Home to Her by @nexusnyx​ Bucky x reader

“when bucky finaly returns from his mission, he finds you sleeping in his sofa and the apartment much different than when he left. much prettier, with a touch of home. apparently, while he was away you took his advice to “do what you want with the place, doll” seriously - or as a distraction - and now he got to come home to this.bucky’s heart takes a leap and he stands there for a second, frozen in his spot.”

Signed by the Author by @wintersfilm​ Bucky x reader

“on a mission to improve his conversations with sam, bucky wanders brooklyn and into a bookstore where he finds his new favourite book and the most adorable bookseller he has ever laid eyes on.”

Seasons of Love by @constantwriter85​ Army vet!Bucky x reader, modern au

“Bucky gets a service dog, but Winter’s only got eyes for the dog across the park…and her owner.”

One Single Thread of Gold (Tied Me to You) by @pietrotica​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“on your sixteenth birthday, the first words your soulmate will speak to you appear on your wrist. in a world where it’s quite common to get a simple ’hi what can i get you’ or common phrases, you’ve managed to get their name. that doesn’t make it easier to find him.”

Sunday is a Family Day by @lazyangeltreemoney​ Bodyguard!Bucky x rockstar!reader

“You’re stubborn, annoying and hot as hell which seems to be an awful combo to mix with Bucky Barnes. However one day he realises he got you all wrong and now there’s a little kid in the mix that needs both of your help.”

[smallblip]

You asked, I deliver! Part II of Accidental baby acquisition💖 I lost one of the asks 😩 but anon who asked about baby Udo, I named the baby in your honour! Saddle up cowboys! I’m not good with sequels but here we are-

Babygate:

the scandal that implies that a certain boy band member cheated on his partner (another band member) and had a kid even when the mom was never pregnant.

- urban dictionary

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. Life is definitely picking up. Pieck still sends him excerpts of her dirty fanfiction to proofread, Bertholdt is still doing all he can to “retire at 30”, Annie might have eloped with said boyfriend. But he’s seeing Porco on the regular now, he’s really cute, he’s got a nice ass. Reiner can’t complain.

He’s also recently donated his Levi Ackerman standee. Only because it’s getting increasingly hard to reconcile the fact that he has a life sized cutout of his colleague’s boyfriend in his room.

What he can complain about is said colleague (and friend) dropping bombs on him. He’s one of the moderators of one of the bigger No Name servers. Sometimes he wonders if that’s a conflict of interest because, well, he knows the guy on a first name basis. But today he has other concerns. He sees his notifications blowing up and decides to go on the No Name server. And lo and behold. There’s a paparazzi shot of Levi and Hanji with a stroller taking a walk in a new channel called “MYSTERY FAMILY?”.

He cancels his plans with Porco. “Don’t text me for the next few hours, got a fire to fight.” He clicks send, and feels kinda bad, so he sends Porco really dank meme to appease him. (That doesn’t stop Porco from doing exactly what Reiner told him not to do and demanding an explanation every five minutes).

He forces himself to take a deep breath before texting Hanji-

“Hanji… I don’t mean to be rude but…

WHAT THE FUCK?”

—

So here begins babygate. A conspiracy theory that took the Internet by storm.

“Levi Ackerman had a secret marriage! He was keeping this from us from the start!”

“It’s a publicity stunt to keep No Name relevant during their hiatus!”

“It’s an elaborate scheme by the company to punish Levi for announcing the hiatus without their knowledge!”

“Levi’s mystery partner was sent by the lizard people to take control of his mind and produce half-lizard, half-human hybrid babies to take over the world! What a bitch!” (This is Hanji’s favourite).

And the internet’s favourite- this is all an elaborate scheme to cover up the scandalous love affair between Levi and Eren- the band’s guitarist.

“What the fuck?” Levi had said during dinner once, to which Reiner had to swallow his food and pretend he never read or actively looked up ereri content. Yes. Reiner knows the name of their ship.

Levi hadn’t been too worried before, but when pictures of them shopping for baby stuff leaked online, something snaps. Something snaps and Erwin tells him he needs more time to figure out the biggest PR crisis in No Name history.

It’s Levi. Levi is the PR crisis.

So in the meantime, no shock reveals, no more social media, (if possible) no more leaving the house with pregnant girlfriend in tow. “Don’t do ANYTHING.” Erwin had said, “especially not you!” Erwin had directed that at Eren, who suggested he makes an announcement. Erwin shudders. He remembers all the past scandals they got themselves into just because Eren, bless him, didn’t know when to shut up.

“I’m sorry…” Levi says to Hanji when they’re cuddled up on the couch watching a documentary on whale migration.

“Huh?” Hanji says, voice muffled through her incessant sniffling because “whales are delivered tail first, Levi! They wear their mothers like hats!”

He apologises for putting her through the mess that is him and his job. And Hanji smiles at him. He wonders if their kid will look like her. He’s hoping they would.

“Levi…” Hanji sighs, taking his face in her hands, “that night at the bar I thought to myself ‘this man has a face I would risk it all for’… I think this counts within the realms of ‘all’”

Levi scoffs, but a smile is threatening the corners of his lips. Erwin’s nagging over the phone fades a little and he sinks a little lower into the couch. He sighs one more time for good measure before saying-

“So… you wanna know which my favourite babygate theory is?”

—

“And you’re really not bothered by all this?” Reiner asks, in an emergency meeting that he had scheduled into her calendar. He hates that he’s packing things into her already busy schedule when she’s about to pop but, he figures it’s better now than when the baby’s actually out. He had booked a meeting room and everything, figuring if he projected some of the crazy shit they’re saying on the fan boards up on screen, Hanji would start taking this seriously. Because if Reiner knows anything, it’s that the fans will do anything to keep their ship afloat.

He scrolls past another post on the lizard people and Hanji gets him to pause.

“I mean… A little?” Hanji pinches her fingers together.

“Hanji…” Reiner sighs, “you and Levi discuss and rate babygate conspiracy theories you find online I don’t think you’re taking this seriously at all…”

Hanji looks at Reiner- an absolute state of panic. And she considers panicking for a moment. She’s read articles dissecting babygate and although they’re absolutely batshit, Hanji appreciates how well-researched they are. Which is a little scary. To be fair to Levi, he’s been trying to get her to worry. “I can’t keep you safe all the time, you have to be careful” like he’s going off to war somewhere. But it’s not in Hanji nature to worry about things like this. She’s a researcher at a lab who lived an ordinary life up until the point the universe hit her with a-

Sike! Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy! What are you gonna do about it?

And now she knows what headcanons and lemons are, and she really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. So Hanji decides, she’ll do nothing. She’ll go on indulgently long walks Levi in tow, she’ll talk his ear off about work. And like a good girlfriend, she’ll listen to his demos (and enjoy them) and tell him “are you sure anger rhymes with danger?”.

“I don’t really know how to worry about anything beyond our samples getting contaminated…” Hanji says, sheepish. Reiner sighs. He doesn’t want to be a wet blanket on Hanji’s life. He wants to be fun Reiner. Cool as a cucumber. Reiner who manages to make it through dinner at Hanji’s without having to excuse himself to hyperventilate in her bathroom because Levi is right there. And he’s so afraid that he might just be able to read his mind and find out he had looked up Levi Ackerman x y/n fanfiction once in his foolish youth (youth being approximately four months back)

Reiner shudders.

“Yeah okay… That’s um… That’s cool… Right?” He says.

Hanji shrugs.

—

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what?

You go into labour of course, with a matter of fact- “oh. Look Levi. The water broke.” All while refusing to leave the house until you demolish that amazing sandwich he made for you. You go into labour and you yell and grunt like a beast as you squeeze the life out of your baby daddy because he kinda deserves it. You both kinda deserve this pain. Take it as heavenly punishment for being horny and stupid if you will.

And in the middle of it Hanji thinks huh, this feels like a mix of a reality TV show from MTV and a badly written fanfiction. Except Hanji isn’t a teen mom and she’s too old for self-insert fiction that involves a lead singer of a popular band.

But Levi is here, and he doesn’t complain one bit even though he looks like he’s about to pass out. So as far as drunken one night stands go- this is pretty damn aspirational.

The baby enters the world with a huge cry.

“Kid’s got a huge set of lungs…” Levi says, but his own voice is quivering.

“Just like her dad…” Hanji smiles.

As he watches Hanji fall asleep with their baby on her chest, Levi thinks fuck it. Fuck keeping this under wraps. Fuck the fans and them enjoying how Eren gets on his nerves. Fuck Erwin and his “Levi. You’re giving me a headache. You are the cause of this headache.” Because the baby has Hanji’s nose and his eyes and he loves them more than anything in the world.

He snaps a picture of them and tags bigdaddyzoë-

“Welcome to the world, my love.”

—

Reiner can’t help the tears that well in his eyes after seeing the picture Hanji had sent him of the baby-

“He says hi to his favourite uncle!” Was the caption, and Reiner could only reply with a crying cat meme and an incoherent text that Hanji favourites.

He’s on the bus on the way to the hospital when his phone buzzes incessantly. It’s Porco.

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK.”

“LEVI ACKERMAN IS HANJI ZOË’S BABY DADDY?”

“HANJI ZOË MY PHD SUPERVISOR?”

“LEVI ACKERMAN OF NO NAME?”

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK?”

He sends a reply at the entrance of the hospital-

“Welcome to my world”

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. He’s one of the moderator of one of the bigger No Name servers, so he can block and remove people at his discretion. Some days he lets it get to his head. It makes him feel like a king. But today, he’s putting out fires.

Erwin decided their PR strategy was absolutely no strategy, because “they’re zooming in on the pixels Levi. Once they doubt the pixels, they won’t believe anything we’re saying”. With that. Babygate has officially taken on a life of its own. Eren still sends Levi babygate articles to annoy him, and to Hanji because she asked very nicely. Hanji thinks Erwin’s strategy makes sense, Levi thinks it’s just lazy. But Erwin framed a certificate that says “survived a PR crisis (sort of)” that Hanji had insisted be hung up on their wall, so that closes one chapter. Besides, Eren has been spotted going out on dates with a mystery girl. Which has the double effect of diverting attention away from Levi and exacerbating babygate because “see? Told you the company’s doing all they can to prove they’re not together!”

“Can’t you keep it in your pants?” Levi had thrown at Eren, to which he had responded cleverly with a-

“Could’ve said the same for you!”

Touché…

“See? That can’t be Levi! Look at how he’s smiling!”

“That can’t be a baby! Looks like an animatronic to me!”

“Do they even make animatronics that realistic?”

Reiner pins his “no slander” rule- one day they’ll get it. Or at least he would’ve gotten rid of all the people that don’t.

“Who’s this bigdaddyzoë anyway?”

“Maybe she isn’t real? Company probably invented her…”

“Heard she’s a crazy groupie who got knocked up…”

“Heard she’s hot…”

… several people are typing

—

“So… I heard from Reiner you were defending my honour in the server?” Hanji quirks an eyebrow.

Levi shrugs. Whatever goes down in the server stays between Leviackerman173810 (leviackerman and all 173809 permutations of said username had already been taken) and the hundreds of people who haven’t quite figured out he’s the real deal. Besides, Erwin has issued him three warnings so it’s best to lay low for now.

“My hero…” Hanji chuckles, pressing a kiss on Levi’s head. Below them, baby Udo wriggles and yawns against the fabric of Levi’s shirt. Cute.

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what? You look at your son and know he’s going to break hearts like his father of course. And if you’re Levi, you pray to god he never asks about babygate because Hanji has read up enough about it to be considered a connoisseur.

One day the internet will break when they find out the identity of bigdaddyzöe. But for now baby Udo has his parents wrapped around his tiny fingers and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of him being the spawn of every typical band member x y/n fanfiction. Or the centre of a very popular, very absurd, yet strangely believable internet conspiracy theory. Or the canon plot that has sunk one of the biggest No Name ships. And that’s okay.

[nanamikeento]

tolerate it

Pairing: Jack Daniels x reader

Summary: Jack’s been acting different towards you lately and you fear the worst when you decide to take action about it.

a/n: will i ever write something not titled or inspired by a ts song/lyrics?? i guess we’ll never know! 

Warnings: angst, so much angst, suggestions of sex, clueless Jack

Word count: 4.0k

masterlist

...

The decorated porcelain plates clink together as you pull them out of the cabinet. Carefully setting them on the table, you reach for the crystal wine glasses, smiling as you set them. He’s gonna love this. It’s not every night that you decide to make dinner for you and your husband, given that you’re both always so busy, but tonight you decided to make it special. You cooked his favorite meal, and put on his favorite outfit of yours. There’s no way he’s not going to like it.

Jack has been acting strange lately. He’s been distant, cold. Working late more often, staying silent all the time, spacing out when you two are together. He still talks to you, but he’s not the same Jack from before and you don’t know what happened. You want to believe it’s all in your head, you want to believe everything is okay. So, you’ve been trying hard to get his attention, going out of your way to bring back the man you married. You hate doing this, but you feel like you have to or else… 

It’s another late night, as he told you. He’s taking a little longer to get home and, sadly, you’re already used to it. So when the sound of the door opening reaches your ears and you take a deep breath, turning the stove off and taking the lasagna out of it. He doesn’t call for you like he used to, but you speak anyway,

“In the kitchen!” Your voice bounces and echoes through the space, hearing his footsteps approaching. You smooth your clothes, eagerly waiting for him.

When he reaches the kitchen door, you give him your best smile and walk towards him.

“Hi, honey!” You lace your arm around him, pulling him to a hug. Jack touches your lower back, his eyes wandering to the kitchen.

“Hey, what’s all this?” He asks, after you give him a peck on the lips.

“Oh!” You pull away from him, “It’s been a while since I don’t cook for us, so I just figured…” You shrug.

The look Jack’s face falls to a sympathetic one as he looks back at you, shoulders sagging and a small sigh leaving his lips.

“Oh, darlin’, I already ate at the office,” he says.

Your heart sinks. “Oh,” you say, quickly brushing away any feeling of disappointment, “That’s okay!” You force a smile, delicately picking at the lapels of his suit, “We could watch a movie, then.” You suggest.

He smiles softly at you, but it looks more like a smile a parent would give a child when they’re upset.

“Honey, I’m a little tired today,” he says, putting a hand on your shoulder, “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll retire for the day.”

You try to hide your disappointment by swallowing your tears and nodding at him, “Okay, you go ahead,” you tell him, “I’ll just clean up here and be right with you.”

Jack presses his lips on your hairline and leaves the kitchen. He didn’t even comment on your outfit. Didn’t even realize how hard you’ve worked on that homemade lasagna. Your eyes burn with unshed tears, as you put everything back on place, debating if you should open a bottle of wine and eat alone. But your appetite is gone now, so you put the lasagna back on the oven and clean everything until there’s no trace you’ve been there at all.

One last time. You’ll try for one last time and then you’re done.

By the time you enter the bedroom, Jack is reading a book, hanging his head low. You can tell he’s already showered, the smell of his deodorant reaching your nostrils. You smile as you slowly climb on the bed, your hand searching for him as they touch his shoulder. Jack tenses and looks at you, taking your wrists gently as he pulls you away from him.

“Darlin’, I’m not really in the mood tonight,” he says.

Nodding, you swallow hard, “Okay.” You’re already turning your back to him, climbing off the bed and walking towards the bathroom, “I’ll take a shower, then we can call it a day.”

If Jack notices the tremble in your voice, he doesn’t say anything. You close the bathroom door behind you and muffle a sob with your hand on your mouth. You want to believe you’ve got it wrong. You want to believe it’s all in your head, but you can’t deny it.

After you turn on the shower and strip down, you spend the time under the warm spray silently crying until the water runs cold and you have to get out. You don’t know how long you spend inside the bathroom, but after you’ve calmed down, put on some pajamas and enter the bedroom again, Jack is already lying with his back turned to you.

Carefully, you pull the covers just enough so you can lie under them. Before you rest your head on the pillow, you turn the lamp off.

But you can’t sleep. You’re always careful not to toss and turn and not to wake Jack when you can’t sleep. Tonight is no different as you watch him sleeping peacefully, with his eyes closed. The hours go by and you can’t close your eyes to save your life. That glass of wine would go well right now.

Before you can change your mind, you get off the bed and silently leave your shared bedroom, making sure you closed the door behind you. During the night, you heat up some of the lasagna you made and drink half of the bottle of red wine you had bought for your dinner with him. You try to distract yourself by watching television or going through social media.

You fall asleep on the couch, at 3:37am.

…

“Darlin’?” Jack calls you softly, gently shaking your shoulder.

You open your eyes, sucking a breath and looking around your surroundings, “Jack?”

He laughs softly, running his knuckles on your cheeks. For a split second you think you’re dreaming. Jack hasn’t been that affectionate in weeks. But when you see where you are, on your couch, in your living room, you realize it’s no dream. You fell asleep on the couch last night because you couldn’t sleep on the bed next to him.

“Why did you sleep here, baby?” He asks, smiling amused at you.

“I–” You have a bad taste in your mouth from sleeping without brushing your teeth, “I couldn’t sleep last night so I came to watch some TV.”

He pulls his brows together, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I, uh…” You rub the sleep from your eyes, “You seemed tired, so…”

The lie burns in your throat as you speak it and watch as Jack’s concerned look transforms to a softer one, “Well, next time, wake me, okay? I don’t like when you don’t sleep next to me.” He brings his lips to yours and it takes you by surprise.

Maybe it is all in your head. Maybe you’ve been getting it wrong lately. The affection warms your heart and it gives you hope.

Except his words don’t match his actions. Days after, he’s back to the cold, distant behavior you hate so much. And it crushes your spirit. You have no hope this relationship can get better. And you’ve done enough to try to restore it.

Maybe he doesn’t love you anymore. The thought makes your eyes water as you pack a bag with your clothes. You can’t do this anymore, you just can’t. Jack’s been on a business trip for a few days and hasn’t called you yet, only talking to you through texts and emails. So you took the day off to get your things and leave.

You’ve had enough.

You choose to stay in a hotel room for a moment, just until Jack comes back and you both sort things out. You know he’s going to freak out when he sees the sticky note you’ve glued on your bedroom door, but, honestly, you don’t care. You’re done caring.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to call you the first night at the hotel room. You let the call go to voicemail, and the texts began. You figure he's home early and read your note; sighing you put your phone on airplane mode, knowing the calls won't stop all night. You know Jack deserves more than a sticky note telling him you need a break, but you know that the moment you'd see him, you'd cave in.

The thing is, you feel bad about it. You feel sad and guilty. Jack is your husband, the man you fell in love with, the man you married. But as the night goes by, you start to think that maybe your feelings are one sided. Jack was sweet and a great husband in the first two years of your marriage, but you can't help to think he's fallen out of love.

You try to sleep, but it's a restless night. You toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. Funny. You can't sleep with him, but you can't sleep without him either.

…

Jack was desperate. When he got home and found the note you left him, his heart sank. Why would you do this? He thought everything was fine, that you were happy with him.

He tried to call you as soon as he read the note, but you didn't pick up or reply to his texts. The panic grew as the night went on and he didn't hear from you.

You don't know about his double life. Jack meant to tell you before you both got married, but for some reason, he never did. 

Well, he had a reason. Kingsman's takes secrecy to another level. No exceptions, no one outside the agency can know about it, not even family members or spouses, like you. And lately, Jack’s been feeling weird. He’s tired of lying to you and living two lives, he’s tired of the secrectness and the danger of not going back home to you.

So he’s been thinking about quitting. Or, at least, telling you the truth. Because he knew sooner or later, the confidentiality of his job would end up costing his marriage. And, apparently, it was going to be sooner.

When Jack woke up from a restless sleep this morning, he knew exactly where to find you. You didn’t give him an exact location of where you stayed last night, but he knew where you worked. And the idea of showing up at your work demanding an explanation doesn’t really please him, but he doesn’t know what to do.

Will he tell you the truth once he sees you? He doesn’t know. All he knows is that he needs to talk to you. He needs to see you.

Jack is well aware of what he looks like, sitting in his car, across the street of the place you work at. He wonders if you’re already there, he wonders if you’re able to go with your day as if nothing happened. As if you hadn’t abandoned him.

No, he can’t think like that. You must’ve had a reason, he’s sure of it. You wouldn’t do that to him unless you had a motive.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, just lost in his worries and thoughts about you. Searching his memory for something he might’ve done, something he might’ve missed, but nothing comes to mind. It isn’t until he sees you leaving the building, that Jack sighs in relief. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips when you spot the car and walk towards it. However, when he rolls down the window, he sees your tired eyes and his heart clenches at the thought of you not getting sleep.

You sigh deeply, heart hammering inside your chest. “The doorman said you’ve been sitting here all morning.” Your voice doesn’t tremble when you speak, so that’s a win. For now.

“Honey–”

“Jack.” You interrupt him before he can change your mind, swallowing the lump already forming in your throat, “I’m working.”

“I know, honey, I just–”

“Jack–”

“Why didn’t you–”

“Jack!” You raise your voice and look into his eyes. Wishing you didn’t, you see the heartbreak in his eyes and almost feel sorry for him. Lowering your voice, you clear your throat, trying to hold back tears, “I’m working now, you can’t stay here like a creep.”

He looks at you in disbelief, “Well, I think I deserve more than just a sticky note on our bedroom door.”

Shit, he’s right. You mull over his words and think, if the situation was reversed, you’d want a better explanation too. Jack doesn’t deserve this, you know it. But he’s also not innocent. He has let you down so many times in the past few weeks, he has broken your heart over and over and you were tired of it. As much as you want to go back to him, to throw yourself into his arms, you’re afraid he’ll shut you out again.

As much as you try to hold back the tears, they slip away from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. In a second, Jack is hopping off the car and holding your face gently between his hands, asking you softly what is wrong, are you okay, please tell me what’s going on. You take his wrists gently, missing this Jack, the Jack who used to comfort you when you weren’t okay, the Jack you feel in love with.

“You…” You sniff, pushing his hands away from you, “You really don’t know?”

Jack frowns, a confused look on his face, as you scoff, angrily wiping at your tears.

“Please.” He begs, “Just tell me what happened.”

“How about the fact you’ve been ignoring me for weeks now?” Your anger bubbles inside you, but you keep your voice down to not attract curious eyes at the street, “You come home every night and barely look at me, you barely talk to me, while I do everything for you! You don’t even–” A breath leaves your lips as you close your eyes and try to keep your posture, “You know what? I don’t want to talk about this now. I have to work.”

You turn your back to him and start walking away, but Jack gently puts a hand on your upper arm. When you turn around to face him, you see tears in his eyes and a heartbroken look on his face. The sight makes your heart clench.

“Darlin’.” Jack suppresses a sob, “Please, let’s just talk about it.”

The tone on his voice makes you pause. Maybe you’re being too hard on him, maybe you should give him an explanation instead of just fucking off of his life. It doesn’t mean your marriage will be saved magically with a conversation, but maybe you should’ve just sat down and talked to him from the start.

“Jack, I–” you clear your throat, trying to swallow down more tears.

“How about I cook you dinner?” He tries to give you a hopeful smile but it comes out as a sad, heartbreaking grin, “Been a while, huh? Then we can– Then we can talk about it, right?”

A breath leaves your lips and you finally cave in, nodding and telling him you’ll be home by seven. He nods and kisses the back of your hands before letting you go back to work. You try to keep your posture, pretend like you're okay, but you breakdown in the bathroom, crying with your hands in your face as silently as you can.

…

When you open the door to your house, your heart weighs heavy in your chest. The smell of food invades your nostrils giving you a sense of nostalgia. Memories of when you two moved in together and you'd get home to him cooking your favorite meal reach your mind and you feel good for a second. Until you remember why he's doing it.

Jack greets you with a smile, making a point of taking your purse and coat and he leads you to the dining room, where a plate of your favorite food is waiting for you. You swallow hard, feeling your stomach rumble and give him a tight smile.

“Made it just for you, darlin'.” Jack pulls the chair for you to sit and takes a seat right across him, “How was work?”

You stare at him in disbelief. He’s really acting like nothing happened, like he didn’t almost make a scene right in front of your workplace and like he’s the best husband in the world.

“Before or after you showed up?” You reach for the glass of red wine on the table.

Yeah, you’re still mad about it. You watch as Jack’s smile fades away and he swallows hard at your statement.

“You said you wanted to talk about it,” you continue, crossing your arms and leaning back on the chair, “Let’s talk about it.”

Jack sighs and slumps his shoulders with a sad look across his face. You’re almost certain he’s doing this just to make you feel bad.

“Darling, I–” He sighs, “I think we should eat first–”

“No, Jack,” you say firmly, holding back your own tears, “I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to make this work.”

“What do you mean ‘make it work’?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” Your voice cracks a little, “Jack, you’re not the same man I married to.”

A brief pause hangs in the air as he processes your words. Then, he looks at you with a soft frown between his brows.

“People change, honey. You can’t expect me to be the same person my entire life.”

You don’t know why his words hurt you the way they did. Were you in the wrong here?

“You once told me you’d be there for me. That you’d never give up on me, no matter what, that’s what you said. Now, I keep… begging for your attention, hoping every night that you’d hug me, kiss me, or even fucking look at me, but you don’t. You can say you’ve changed, but– but this–” You try to swallow your tears, but they end up rolling down your cheeks anyway. You wipe them angrily, trying to keep your posture. What you don’t see is the way he looks at you as you cry. It takes everything in him to not reach for you, to not hold you in his arms and comfort you, but he knows he has to let you finish. “This is not you. All these business trips, the silence you give me, you don't even touch me anymore, Jack. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was someo– someone else.”

At that, Jack stands up and reaches for you, kneeling on the floor and cupping your wet cheeks, heart leaping inside his chest.

“Listen to me,” he says adamantly, “I would never cheat on you, understand? You are the love of my life, my soulmate. There is only you.”

A sob escapes your lips and you don’t even bother to push him away as you cry. You're tired, you're just tired.

“Then why?” Your voice is laced with hurt, cracked and weak, “Why, Jack? Was it something that I did? Something I said?”

He sighs, feeling tears water his own eyes as he pulls away from you. He has to tell you. He has to, or he’ll lose you.

“No, honey, you’re– you’re perfect, you’re so good to me, I–” He lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. “I’ll tell you everything,” he says, rubbing circles on your hips with his thumb, “You won’t believe me at first, but you have to let me finish, okay? You have to listen first, ask questions later.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Okay.”

…

Cold hands snake under your sweater and touch your skin, waking up from the deep slumber you were enjoying. A whimper leaves your lips, silenced by soft coos and whispered words of apologies. When soft lips and hairs of a moustache brush on your neck, you shudder, opening your eyes and rolling to your back to see your husband beaming at you.

“You’re back already.” You croak, blindly reaching for him.

“Told you it was going to be quick, pumpkin,” Jack says, brushing his knuckles on your cheeks. You smile at the nickname.

“Been ages since you called me that,”

“Well, I figured if we're starting over, we could go back to old habits.”

You smile at that, tracing your fingertips on his face. It’s been nearly a month since Jack told you the truth about his real job. And he was right, you didn’t believe him at first. A secret service disguised as a distillery company seemed surreal to you, but you let him explain himself from the start. He told you about how they recruited him, how he became one of their best agents and how he wanted to retire. How he didn’t want to live a double life, hiding it from his own spouse, risking his life and not being sure if he’d get back to you.

The whole thing seemed stupid and you really thought he was lying at first. Then he showed you the whip and the lasso and other special gadgets he used on a daily basis. You were shocked. With time you got used to the idea, but in the first moment, you needed some time to digest it. Of course, Jack couldn’t let their superiors know that you were aware of Statesman’s Secret Service, so you had to promise not to tell anyone.

After he explained everything, he made a proposition: that you both start over, now being completely honest with each other. And he kept his end of the promise, telling you he filled a request for retirement and that they asked for one last mission before he left.

He promised it’d be quick. Three days maximum. Which leads to where you are right now, being awakened by Jack on a cold January morning.

It wasn’t easy to let him in again. You love him with every fiber of your being, but your trust in him was shaken the moment he confessed his lies to you. So it was a process, trusting him all over again, but it’s making progress and he’s definitely changed for the better.

“Is it done?” You ask, still looking deep into his brown eyes.

“Yes,” he answers, still caressing your cheeks, “I’m officially retired. I’m all yours now, baby.”

A smile curved the corner of your lips but it faded away too quickly and Jack frowned at that.

“What’s wrong?”

“I–” you hesitate, then sigh, “You wanted to retire, right? You didn’t do it just for me?”

Jack pauses for a second. In a way, he did want to retire for you, but he didn't do it just because you almost left him. What you did, leaving him for a night, was the push he needed to take action.

“I wanted to. I did it for us, darling,” he answers, “I want to be here for you, like I promised.”

Your smile grows back on your face as your hands snake behind his neck and pull him to press your lips on his.

“Thank you for being honest with me, Jack,” you whisper.

“Anything for you.” He smiles on your lips, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You mumble the words.

You feel like the old Jack is back, but better. Now he's more honest and upfront with you, and you feel like you’re finally getting to know the real him. It scares you a bit, you like it.

You like the real Jack better.

...

please, fill this form if you want to be tagged in any of my stuff!!

general taglist: @huliabitch @mistermiraclee @gooddaykate @forever-rogue @bestintheparsec @hiscyarika @haildoodles-writing @aerynwrites @xserenax-13 @hayley-the-comet @manuphantom @giselatropicana @wonderfulfluffer @justanotherblonde23 @hereforthesunrise @mitchi-c @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjeans @marvgrrl @nominbalnebula @theocatkov @opheliaelysia @buckysalefty @din-damn-djarin @the-wishmonger @spacenerdpascal @adikaofmandalore @goldafterglow @phoenixhalliwell @heythere80sbaby

Jack taglist: @murdermewithbooks  @kingpascals  @jedi-mando  @azem-thefourteenth @cyaredindjarin @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @promiscuoussatan @darthadeline @mrsparknuts @autumnleaves1991-blog @simp4diggory @astroboots @rosiefridayrogersunday @computeringturtle @grandetan @amethystlily  @thedevilwearsbeskar @littlebopper96 @littlebopper96 @kris-got-swag

[pearonthegas]

act 2, scene 1; april

a walk in albert park (ausgp '22)

ent. aus gp 2022

hey hello hi!! it's been a hot minute but here i am ,, back with my first update after the long drought :,) ausgp was the first race of the season i actually go to properly watch - and ohman!! it was quite something

unfortunately i missed out on all the fp sessions because i've been busy with school, but quali was quite a run! the one takeaway i've gotten from the bits and pieces i've managed to gather over the weeks? none of these cars are safe from any issues whatsoever - everyone seems to be struggling with something (except maybe ferrari??) it's going to be quitee the season

i love how the rest of the field is getting a lot more competitive with each other !! seeing more battles other than just the one for first made me appreciate the event so much more!! it feels a lot more exciting this way <33

i cannot begin to express first of all. how in AWE i am of albon?? sir really went for a whole race with a SINGLE set of tyres like HELLO a) what were you trying to do bby and b) THE FACT THAT HE STILL KEPT IT UP THERE IN THE POINTS THE WHOLE TIME - that williams seems more promising than otherwise shown,,i think there are some good things coming

the aston martins did NOT have luck on their side this weekend :/ absolutely insane the way their weekend went - universe rlly said <3 no; but it did increase my love for seb so that's a plus!!

i think my main. thing with this whole thing might be with rbpt tbh!! i hate that acronym its so ugly im sorry but unfortunately im an alphatauri girl so i have to live w it. that engine is literally giving me heartache every single weekend!! the fact that max had to retire made me want to YELL because if he's having issues with the engine that means that there's chances of all the other three having issues too and i'm not excited for that!! how're we going to make it through the whole season this way wails

the ats did not look too great this weekend but i still have the slightest sliver of hope for them. i think we can still pull through it's still early in the season!! yuki and pierre have also the best relationship ever (the not boyfriends, with their perfectly synchronised race starts? soulmates.) but someone needs to tell pierre to get a new hairdresser. sir. i love you but please. you are balding.

to bring the wonderful weekend to a close sir lewis hamilton and george russell are a three hour drive from me, and a friend of a friend spotted them at the gas station - mercedes amg (and lewis for that matter) will always be a national treasure to us tbh!! not even racing under our flag but we all feel so much pride for them <3 (thank you petronas for being the one good thing to come out of this gov)

exit aus gp 2022.

ent. small life update (below the break)

past few months have been HECTIC - but i think a new chapter of my silly little life begun at some point (not sure when) hence the beginning of act 2!! i'm glad to still be able to have this space - tumblr unironically makes me feel the safest on any social media

rundown of everything that's happened since i've last made a proper post? i'm preparing for my first two AS exams next month, i've made more friends in the past month than i have in the past two years (many of which don't even attend our school, and are seniors who old me would have actually absolutely detested maybe), i'm figuring out what it means to love someone, and what it means to actively choose to love them, i'm trying to be a bit kinder to myself, to not be so inherently wrapped up in grades and numbers

ramadan started more than a week ago <3 ramadan mubarak to my lovely muslim friends here

my mental health is a mess right now. but it has its good days. i hope to share as many of those with you as possible :)

as ever, with lots of love,

iman.

[whereisten]

Heal

A Kun fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Doctor Qian Kun is a young and successful doctor who works miracles. And you are no exception when you become his patient.

Pairing: Doctor! Kun x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, horror

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: blood, manipulation

(A/N: Thank you guys so much for your support with our Halloween fics! Hope you enjoy the adventures of y/n and Doctor Kun!)

___

You were no stranger to visits to the Neo Hospital in your hometown. When you were a baby, you basically lived at the hospital. You were prone to colds and fevers. You always experienced body aches and fatigue. You were born with a chronic autoimmune disorder that left many doctors baffled. They were only able to provide you with medications to alleviate your pains temporarily. You were confined to stay at home, to be homeschooled by your parents, and make friends online. Your childhood was far from normal.

You were a college junior now and you’ve been strictly online. If it wasn’t for the Internet, you probably would’ve lost your mind by now.

You had contact with the outside world but not physical contact. It’s what you longed for the most.

You resented your family. Your older and younger siblings could go out whenever they pleased. How did they get so lucky? Why were you the only sibling that got the short end of the stick?

Everyone in your family always interacted with you carefully, using hand sanitizer and always washing their hands prior to helping you with something. They treated you like a fine, porcelain doll that had to be preserved. It was irritating on your best days and unbearable on your worst. You felt like an abomination sometimes.

However, throughout the years, you would rebel. You would run away from home when your parents eyes wandered for a moment. The farthest you’d get before getting caught was the park. You were lucky that you didn’t develop any harsh symptoms from those times you ran away. However, you would be punished for taking such risks. You’d get your phone and internet privileges taken away for a month every time.

Last week, you succeeded in your most ambitious escape yet: you made it to Target to buy the new Ariana Grande CD. You thought that the one trip to Target couldn’t hurt you. By no means was it crowded and no one got into your space.

Well, you were wrong to think that you’d be fine.

Now you came down with a fever and you’d been placed on bed rest at your all-too familiar Room 1196 on the eleventh floor of the hospital.

You resented your body. A lot of people could recover from a fever and carry on with their day-to-day lives but you? Not so much.

Your parents made a whole spectacle of getting you to be seen by the best doctors but these doctors couldn’t help you the way you’d hoped.

However, this time, you awoke the next morning after your intake and felt...nothing.

Like you never had a fever in the first place.

You spent the morning checking your social media. Your crush/online classmate Sicheng was on a weekend hiking trip with his friends. He was with a bunch of beautiful, healthy people in North Carolina. You were even more bummed to be in the hospital now.

You wondered what life would be like if you didn’t have your condition. Where could you have gone? Who would you be now?

You’ve always wanted to go to the beach by yourself. To the supermarket. Hell, across the street. You wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Without anyone coddling you and watching your every move.

You wished for freedom from the body you were born with. To find a new one, somehow.

Because you had no hope for your current body to change.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” A male voice was heard from the door.

“Sure.” You sat upright on the bed.

The person at the door entered and he was the prettiest healthcare provider you’d ever laid your eyes on. He had warm, brown eyes and a radiant smile. His dark blue hair was wavy.

Suddenly, you regretted not brushing your hair that morning.

He donned a lab coat with the hospital’s name on it. His name tag was in a lanyard: Dr. Qian Kun, MD, DOM, PharmD.

He looked very young...And to have all of those titles? Your head was spinning.

He frowned as he saw how confused you looked. “Are you alright?”

You nodded. “I am.”

He sat on the chair beside your bed. “It’s nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Dr. Qian Kun but you can call me Kun.”

You blinked a few times. “Are you really a doctor?”

He laughed, confused. “What?”

“You don’t seem that much older than me…”

He sighed. “I get that a lot. I’m twenty-four. I graduated early from university...Earned my titles...Now here I am.”

“That’s amazing. You are probably the youngest doctor ever.”

Kun shook his head. “Afraid not. Bala Ambati became a doctor at seventeen.”

You shook your head. “Still...You have three doctorates. That means triple the sleep deprivation. Hats off to you.”

Kun chuckled as he looked at your information in his clipboard. “Your vitals have improved a lot since yesterday.”

You looked down at your hands. “Yeah...That’s impossible…”

Kun shook his head, noting how down you looked. “It is possible, y/n.”

You met his gaze. “How?”

He smiled. “Are you familiar with oriental medicine?”

He sure was charming, you thought. You reminded yourself to answer his question. “No, I’m not.”

Kun got up from his seat. “Well, there are many different practices that a doctor of oriental medicine can utilize, like acupuncture, meditation, and herbal therapy...To restore harmony to the human body. I specialize in herbal therapy.”

“I see…”

“I have created an herbal mixture that has worked efficiently to get my patients back up on their feet.”

Incredulous still, you managed to say, “That’s great, Doctor.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“I mean, Kun.”

Kun resumed, “And I‘ve provided you with the herbal mixture and from the looks of it, the results have quickly taken effect.”

You were speechless. “That’s…”

“I know it’s hard to believe, y/n. But sometimes doctors fail to find other alternatives to help their patients. Which is why I’m glad I’m your primary physician now.”

“Wait, what about Doctor Morris?” Doctor Morris had been your primary physician since you were five years old.

“She’s retired. I’ve been taking on a couple of her patients now.”

“I see…”

Kun looked out your room’s window and smiled to himself. “You don’t trust me.”

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t trust any medical professional. No one has been able to understand my condition yet so…”

Kun replied, “You’ve been let down too many times.”

“Exactly. Doctors just can’t figure me out.”

He turned to you and grinned. “Allow me to prove you wrong, then.”

___

At the recommendation of Doctor Kun, you were assigned to stay in the hospital for the next few weeks to see how the herbal mixture would affect your body if you took it for a longer period of time.

Every passing day, you felt more alive. It was weird to say this but you felt more alive at the hospital than you did before. You were beginning to suspect that Kun’s herbal mixture was actually working.

The herbal mixture was made of feverfew among other medicinal herbs. It had certainly done the trick to reduce your fever overnight. You wondered just what this mixture was made of.

You just finished your online linguistics lecture and closed your laptop. You found Kun waiting at the door. “You free?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

He sat down next to you and pulled some of your favorite candy out of his pocket.

He put the candy bar in your hand. His fingers lightly touched your palm. Your face warmed up at his proximity. “Happy Halloween, y/n.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out. How did he know you loved Twix? You took the candy bar into your hand and almost cried.

“Y/n?” He asked, worried.

You wiped a tear away. “Sorry...It’s just that this time of the year is hard because...I want to celebrate it. Go out and trick or treat...I know that time has gone for me but I hate that I missed out, you know…”

“Y/n…”

You sniffled and took a bite of the chocolate bar. “My parents never wanted me to feel like I was missing out so they would bring the holiday home to me. I was never in need of M&Ms, Skittles, Twix, or Sour Patch Kids…They even helped me make the best Halloween costumes. We would watch a bunch of horror movies all month long...But I wanted to be a kid. I wanted to go out with my friends and go door to door…”

Kun’s heart went out to you. He hated seeing you so down and so deprived of a life that everyone should have. “Y/n, you will be able to do all of the things you want to do in life.”

You looked at Kun and he had a determined look on his face. “How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve worked with people with conditions like yours...They thought they would be attached to the hospital forever one way or another. But with my methods, I was able to help them turn their life around. And now they’re living normally and fully.”

You sighed. “I’m happy to hear that...I just don’t think I’ll be one of them.”

Kun placed his hand over yours. “Trust me, y/n. I won’t let you down.”

You met his eyes, then, and you smiled. “Thanks, Kun. I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’re my favorite doctor.”

He beamed. “Is that so?”

You nodded. “Yeah...None of the other doctors ever gave me so much as a lollipop Even though that seems to be the norm on TV…”

Kun chuckled. “There’s more where that came from, y/n.”

___

It has been a month since you’ve entered the hospital. The medical bills were covered by an anonymous benefactor. Your family didn’t have to worry about the financial strain of your hospital stay.

Your family came to visit you and they were stunned at how radiant you looked. They were surprised at how much more ALIVE you looked when they expected you to be weak and miserable because you were at the hospital. Something about you was different.

“Doctor Kun is a miracle worker, isn’t he?” Your dad asked.

“I heard he’s a sight for sore eyes, too...Don’t you think so, y/n?” Your older sister Sydney teased.

You mom shook her head and helped fluff your pillows. “How are you, sweetheart?”

You smiled. “I’m better, actually. I think Kun’s methods are working.”

“Oh, are you two on a first name basis?” Your sister joked.

You rolled your eyes. “He told me to call him Kun. If you saw him, you’d feel weird calling him Doctor, actually.”

“He’s quite young, y/n. He graduated from a top university in Beijing at age 10. Then, he went to medical school right after. He’s been a practicing doctor for a couple of years now. He’s unbelievable,” you dad said.

Kun entered the room, then. “I hope I’m not interrupting. I’m Doctor Qian Kun. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Your mom was in love with him. Your dad was in shock at how young he was. Your sister wanted his number. You broke their stunned silence. “Kun, these are my parents Donna and Andrew. And this is my sister, Sydney.”

Kun greeted them. “I’m glad you are all here so I can tell you the good news.”

Everyone was shocked at the phrase “good news”. What good news could he possibly have to share?

Kun continued, “Y/n, your vitals are working at optimum level and we want to see how well you can fare by discharging you.”

You asked, “What?”

Kun smiled. “You can start having a normal life...In which you can attend in-person classes, go to the supermarket, take up a sport…”

You weren’t sure about the last thing he offered but everything else he suggested made you jump out of your bed. “Serious?”

Kun’s smile grew. “Yes.”

Your parents gave each other looks.

Your dad started. “Doctor, are you sure about this...y/n has lived all of her life in our home. The only outside world she’s ever known is our backyard and this hospital.”

Kun nodded. “I am sure. I’ve worked with several patients with similar cases as y/n’s and I would like to put the effect of the herbal mixture to the test. If there is any risk, she will immediately be brought back to the hospital and I will up the dosage for the herbs.”

After a few more minutes of discussion, your parents reluctantly agreed to take you home. To alleviate their concerns, you promised to consult with Kun once a week so he could monitor your progress.

You would be going home tomorrow and you had been given the green light to live a normal life. Outside. Go to classes. See your friends. Go to the beach. Buy fruits at the grocery store.

You packed up your belongings and Kun visited you one last time before you left. “Hey.”

You smiled brightly at him. “Hi!”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I ever have, honestly. And I have you to thank for that. Look, I’m not sure if this will work out in the end but the fact that I can take the chance and go out there...Thank you.”

Kun ruffled your hair. “I’m here for you, y/n.”

You did admit to yourself that you’d had a little crush on Dr. Kun but who were you kidding? He was so out of your league. You’d had a friend in him and you would always be thankful to him. “I have something for you.”

Kun’s eyes widened. “For me?”

“I wasn’t sure it’d get to my house in time but my mom got the package today. I told her to bring it today when everyone visited so…”

You pulled out a small gift bag with Kun’s present inside.

Kun smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” “You’ve done a lot for me, Kun. I may have my doubts but I don’t doubt your intentions. And they're nothing but good. You’ve been doing so much for me. You’re setting me free...In a way.”

You handed the bag to Kun. He pulled out a little wrapped box from inside. He looked at you as he mocked suspicion.

He removed the wrapping to find a pair of AirPods. He gaped. “Y/n…”

You smiled. “For whenever you need to escape the noise…”

Kun had told you that sometimes he would get overwhelmed with his duties at the hospital and you’d asked him what gave him comfort. He told you it was music. So you figured something as light and portable as AirPods could help Kun calm down whenever he needed it throughout the day.

He smiled brightly at you and surprised you by wrapping his arms around you. “Y/n, thank you...You shouldn’t have…”

You froze. Kun’s toned body was against yours and you could feel the racing of his heart. Your heart probably beat twice as fast. You felt yourself get warmer and warmer. You pulled away from him, his hands on your arms.

He blushed. “Sorry…”

You cleared your throat. “Don’t worry about it…”

Your dad returned to the hospital room. “Y/n, you ready?”

Perfect timing, dad, you thought.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

___

It may have been the second semester of your junior year but you felt as nervous as an incoming college freshman as you entered Neo University’s grounds for the first time. You were meeting some of your friends for the first time ever.

It was one thing to see them on the screen but your heart accelerated thinking of what it would be like to see them in the flesh.

You’ve been doing well so far with the herbs Kun had sent you home with. You were able to go grocery shopping with your mom. She was still considering whether or not you could go to the beach yet. You hoped that your progress would continue so she would say yes.

You felt healthier than ever. You could breathe well through your nose. You felt no body aches. You were ready to cartwheel across the quadrangle.

First, you had to learn how to cartwheel, though.

“Y/n!!!!!” Jungeun called out to you.

Your blonde best friend ran up to you and jumped you from behind. “Ah!”

“Jungeun!” You gasped.

She laughed. “You said I could touch you so I wasn’t about to hold back.”

You hugged each other tightly.

“Y/n, it’s so good to see you!”

You and Jungeun have been friends since middle school so you were already a sobbing mess on your first day.

“Stop crying, y/n or else I’m gonna…” She started crying, too.

“Enough with the tears, already,” Dejun added.

You and Jungeun hugged Dejun to bother him, then.

He laughed. “Y/n, welcome to Neo U.”

“Thanks,” you said, smiling.

You three went to your seminar together and you were just so in awe of being in a classroom, you had trouble focusing on the lecture. You were even more distracted when you saw that Sicheng was in the same class.

He recognized you and waved. You were yelling so loudly on the inside.

Before this semester, you had the occasional online class that you shared. You saw Sicheng for the first time a year ago and your crush on him grew from there. He was one of the most popular guys on campus, according to Jungeun. You had a group project with him last semester and he was so...Perfect.

He was intelligent and down-to-earth. His smile was so sweet and his eyes pierced into your soul. He was talking poetry. It felt like you were seeing your favorite celebrity in person.

When class ended, you went to lunch with your friends and Sicheng joined you.

“How are you, y/n?” He asked.

“I’m great. Never been better,” you replied.

He smiled. “I’m glad. If you ever need anything, please let me know. You have my number.”

You nodded. “Of course. Same here. If you ever need anything. I’m here for you, too.”

Sicheng chuckled. “Great.”

When you finished lunch, Jungeun couldn’t stop poking fun at you. Sicheng left early for a club meeting. “I’m surprised he didn’t ask you out, then!”

You rolled your eyes. “Ask who out?”

Dejun added. “Me, of course.”

Jungeun continued. “The ‘you have my number’ couldn’t have been more obvious. He wants you in his dorm yesterday.”

You frowned. “And what would we do? Fix his bed?”

Jungeun and Dejun laughed. Jungeun added, “The opposite, y/n.”

Your face heated up then. “Oh.”

Since you have basically spent most of your life either at home or at the hospital, you never even considered the possibility of a love life. You tried to convince yourself that dating sims would’ve been enough.

“Don’t worry, y/n...You and Sicheng can take it slow...He’s no incubus who is trying to take your soul,” Dejun offered.

“True,” you said.

That was if Sicheng saw you that way in the first place.

___

A few weeks had passed. You’d been seeing Kun regularly to check in and everything had gone as expected. You were fine. You weren’t exhibiting any flare-ups. So long as you kept taking the prescribed herbs, you would be fine.

“How is everything, y/n?” He asked.

“Pretty good, actually. School is still school, even if it’s in person. But I got to go to a skating rink for the first time.”

He laughed. “How was it?”

“I am terrible.” You showed your legs. “It explains these bruises.”

Kun shook his head and chuckled. “I’m glad you’re getting out more, y/n. Try and take it one step at a time.”

“Oh, geez. I wish you said that sooner. I already joined a blood cult and I’m getting married next week.”

Kun rolled his eyes as he finished taking notes from your consultation.

“How is everything with you, doc?”

Kun’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Surely, you’re not always at the hospital.”

Kun sighed. “Well, y/n...it just so happens that I’ve taken residence up on the top floor. The whole floor is my apartment. Don’t really get to spend much time there because I’m almost always on call.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? Kun, that’s abuse. You shouldn’t be working so many hours. It’s against the-“

Kun couldn’t help his smile appearing.

“You sneaky bastard,” you said.

You both laughed, then.

Sometimes you forgot Kun was a successful doctor. Sometimes he felt like your infinitely smarter senior at college.

He was a million worlds away from yours.

Kun answered, “Well, I’m doing fine, y/n. I meet up with friends once in a while and go white-water rafting.”

“That sounds like fun!”

Kun shook his head. “It’s challenging but exciting. I get a rush every time I go.”

You thought out loud. “I’d love to try it sometime…”

Kun pat you in the back. “When you are at one hundred perfect, I’ll give you the green light. Sounds good?”

You nod.

___

You’d wrapped up your midterm and you were ready to head home and take a nap. You walked through the student quad.

“Y/n!” Sicheng called out to you.

You turned around and found Sicheng running towards you.

You smiled, already warm in the face. “Hi.”

“I was wondering if you were free right now…”

“Really? Me?”

He smiled, confused at your question. “Yeah, you. Want to go to the movies with me?”

You nodded. “Absolutely.”

Sicheng drove you guys to the movies. He bought the tickets and the snacks. He let you pick the movie. You picked The Blair Witch Project. It came out over twenty years ago but the theater was doing a limited time screening of it.

You and Sicheng couldn’t shut up throughout the whole movie as you whispered to each and made each other laugh. You’d almost gotten kicked out of the theater.

You left the theater together and he asked you to dinner. You said yes. You were starting to think that this was a date.

“Y/n, this is a date, right?” He asked you at dinner.

You stopped eating your chicken parmigiana and looked at him with big eyes. “I think...Is it?”

Sicheng sighed. “I wanted it to be…”

You laughed. “Oh, thank God. I thought it was all in my head for a second. Maybe you were this nice to all of your friends.”

He pointed out, “I am not this nice to my friends, I can promise you that.”

Sicheng drove you home and kissed you goodnight before you entered your house. You felt like you were floating on a cloud now.

___

Two days later, there was a campus alert that Sicheng had gone missing. His face was all over the news. The last time he was heard from was when he told his best friend Jaehyun that he was going to ask you out to the movies. The last time he was seen was when he took you home.

Sicheng’s car was found a mile away from the dorms. The key was still in the ignition and his wallet and phone were left behind.

You were brought into the police station for questioning and you told them everything that happened the night Sicheng disappeared.

You were worried. What could have happened to him? Would he be alright? Would he be able to come back home? You missed him so much.

You took an evening stroll around your neighborhood to try and calm down. You reached the park where there was no other soul in sight.

Suddenly, you felt a tingly sensation in the back of your neck. You felt that someone was following you.  

You began to walk faster. Suddenly, you were pinned to the ground and everything turned black.

___

You woke up in Room 1196, then. Wait...It wasn’t 1196...It was a different room in Neo Hospital. The room was dark and you could only hear the sound of your breathing. It grew more hysterical with each second.

You felt a burning sensation in your neck. You cried out in pain. You cried out, “Help me, please.”

“Y/n…” You recognized Kun’s voice.

You nearly yelled out in pain but restrained yourself. “What...happened?”

“An animal attack,” he started.

You frowned. “What?”

Kun sighed. “It was good that I was there to help you in time, y/n…”

“What?”

Kun moved your hair out of your face. “I was in the neighborhood when I saw the beast attack your neck.”

“A beast?” You frowned.

“Sicheng, was it?”

Your eyes widened. “How do you-“

“You can’t hide anything from me, y/n...You know that’s not how our relationship works.”

“What are you talking about? Ahhhhh.” The pain was getting to be too much for you.

“Can you put two and two together, y/n? Sicheng bit you.”

You shook your head furiously. “No, he wouldn’t-“

Kun snapped his fingers and Sicheng entered the hospital room. His bright expression nowhere to be found. His eyes were a bright red and his lips had traces of blood on them.

“Sicheng?!” You asked.

Sicheng smiled, showing fangs in his teeth. “Hi, y/n…”

“Oh, my God!” You started.

Kun grew annoyed. “Alright, that’s enough pleasantries for my taste. Go.”

Sicheng walked away at his command.

You began, “What the-“

Kun smiled brightly at you then. This time, his straight white teeth displayed his own fangs. “Y/n...Sicheng has put you in a bit of a bind, hasn’t he?”

You tried backing away from Kun and getting off of the bed but it was almost as if the pain kept you from moving.

Kun ran the back of his hand down your cheek. “When a newborn vampire bites you, the bite is lethal...You could die anywhere between minutes and hours...It depends on the bitten, really…”

You flinched at his touch. “What...did you do to me?”

Kun inched closer to you and you winced. He lathered up the blood that leaked from your neck down to your collarbone.

“What had to be done, y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew that I had to have you.”

You cried out in pain. “Somebody help me, please! Sicheng, please!”

Kun, annoyed over you mentioning Sicheng, shut the door to the hospital room. “It’s useless, y/n. Sicheng wouldn’t be in this mess if he hadn’t infiltrated what is mine. Now Sicheng must endure the consequences and be at my mercy. I turned him so now he looks to me for instructions. Until I release him...Perhaps in the next millennium...”

You sobbed. “Kun, please make this pain stop! I can’t take it!”

He cooed. “I know, baby. I want to help you. Just say the word and I’ll make the pain go away.”

The pain dominated your senses so you couldn’t process how exactly he would make it go away. “Okay! Just do it!”

Kun got up onto the bed and straddled you. He leaned down towards your neck and bit into you.

You cried out again but this time the excruciating pain turned into a euphoria so glorious, you never wanted it to end. You wrapped your arms around Kun as he continued to drink your blood.

___

It was morning when you had woken up. You were in Room 1196 now. You shot up from your bed and found Kun seated right beside you.

“Good morning, darling,” he started.

You glared at him. “Bite me. Oh, wait, you already did.”

He smiled. “I see your energy is up. That’s good to see.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going home…”

Suddenly, you stopped right at the door and your throat started to burn. Your senses heightened and you could sense that one of the nurses was walking right past your room’s door. You wondered what she would taste like if you caught her by surprise right then and there and…

What the holy hell were you thinking?

Kun sighed. “Don’t kill Joyce. She’s the most competent nurse on the staff.”

You ran into your bathroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror.

But you couldn’t.

You put a hand over your mouth and sobbed. “Kun!!!!!”

Kun joined you in the bathroom. “Ah, yes. You won’t be able to gain access to your reflection for another twenty years.”

“Twenty years...What is going on?”

“But what else, y/n? I turned you. To save your life.”

“Turned me into what, Kun?! Say it!”

Kun smiled. “Darling, you already know. Just admit it to yourself.”

You cried. “No…”

“You’ve always wanted a new body. A new life, y/n. And I’ve given it to you. I’ve made you the most powerful creature on this damned planet: a vampire.”

You fell to the ground. You could feel your fangs against your tongue.“Kun! Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?”

Kun sat with you on the ground. “Because I love you, y/n. I never want to be apart from you again.”

You spat in his face. “You made me into a monster.”

Kun, unbothered, wiped your spit away with the sleeve of his coat. “I did not. I made you the best version of yourself you can be. Time for you has become infinite. Your body is immune to all illnesses now. You can see clearly. Your metabolism is in top shape. You are a goddess now.”

You shook your head. “Kun, take it back.”

He chuckled. “You’ve seen enough movies to know that that’s not how it works, y/n...You are mine now. Forever. Just like Sicheng. Just like a lot of the staff in this hospital.”

You shook your head rapidly. “Like hell I’m yours.”

“Y/n, I have been very generous up until this point. Using my blood to help you overcome your chronic condition. Funding your hospital bills...The least you can do is submit to me....”

It was hard to process all of the truths he just delivered. “Your blood?”

He laughed. “You mean you couldn’t taste my blood in the herbal mixture?”

You were about to throw up.

He chuckled darkly. “Admit it, y/n. You loved it.”

“Fuck you, Kun!”

He smiled. “We’ll get to that…”

You sneered. “You are despicable.”

His smile faded. “And you are testing my patience…”  He snapped his fingers at you. “On your knees…”

You stayed on the floor with your arms crossed across your chest.

He frowned as he snapped again. “On your knees, y/n.”

“I don’t think so,” you said.

Kun looked taken aback. “What? How?”

You got up from the ground and looked at him. “I will never submit to you for as long as I live..” If vampires were even considered living.

You ran quickly out of the hospital room, realizing you had superhuman speed now. You were able to leave the historial without facing any temptation to bite someone.

But your thirst had to be satisfied somehow and you had to find a way to quench it without hurting anyone.

___

[2 years later]

You’d skipped town not long after you turned. You sent letters to your family without a return address so as not to risk their safety.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m so sorry I ran away. I had no choice. If I didn’t leave, you all would’ve been in danger. One day, I hope to explain it all to you but in the meantime, live your lives fully and love each other. Don’t take anything for granted. I love you so much and will see you again.

Love,

y/n

You had become an infamous blood bag bandit as you moved across the country, running away from Kun. He would occasionally try and track you. Or he would send his henchman like Sicheng to do it for him.

You were lucky so far. You had never attacked a human being and sustained yourself on some blood bags you were able to nab from donating trucks.

The reason why you didn’t submit yourself to Kun that day was indeed because of his blood. Consumption of his blood made you immune to his influence. He couldn’t have you like he had wanted all along.

Kun had been obsessed with you from the very beginning. When you were discharged from the hospital the time you met him, he continuously stalked you. At college, at the grocery store, at your home...It would explain why he was able to send Sicheng to attack you.

He always knew where you were back then.

Kun commanded Sicheng to bite you then and put you at risk of dying. Kun’s plan was to save you, make you his vampire queen, and control you.

It was a shame he failed to see that his creation of medicinal herbs was the one thing that would lead to his plan’s failure.

You were immune to his commands and you weren’t going to stick around and see how else he would try and “win you over”.

According to your research, in all public records, Kun was now twenty-six. A blatant lie since he couldn’t age. So you wondered how long he would remain in your hometown. You kept a careful eye on your family every now and then. You’ve made some contacts to track your family occasionally, as well.

Kun had stooped low and you prayed he wouldn’t stoop even lower to get you.

You worked hard every day to work on your rapidly growing vampiric abilities. You couldn’t stick around anywhere for too long without arousing suspicion.

Now you weren’t confined to one space anymore.

You were confined to running.

You hoped to one day bring it this madness to an end and take Kun down. Save Sicheng and Kun’s other minions.

And for you to truly be free.

[Fin]

[kal-the-non-binary]

Is Homophobia “Hate” or “Cowardice”

I’m staying in my conservative hometown since pandemic. Being queer it is hard to find people with whom I would connect and could talk freely about it. Thankfully I had come out to my friends here during my birthday visit in 2019, and their reaction and acceptance has meant the world to me. Even though I have a community in the city I lived in, getting such acceptance from my childhood friends was something else. And since I didn’t come here often at the time, at least I knew for sure their reaction was genuine and not something they had to do because they were obligated to.

While I’m grateful for their support, the pandemic had shown me a ‘limit’ to their support. At first it was during the Pride month when literally none of them and anyone from my hometown I know had posted about it on social media. There were very few wishes just for me in the inbox, which was sweet but something about it felt off.

Now and then when we meet, they tend to ask me questions about the lesbians, gays, and my best friend apparently cracked a “threesome” joke about bisexuals. I could explain them all I want but I started to feel like a tutor than a friend. Obviously none of them cared to make an easy google search with the fear of search engine thinking that they were gay!

I happen to indirectly call that out on my social media handles but sure they think they are an exception since they did the “favor” of accepting me as gay.

“Oh you are gay! My best friend is gay.” — I became that friend for them

Recently, for the first time a mainstream Bollywood film featured a trans character and the film revolved around a cishet(Cisgender, Heterosexual) man with toxic masculinity falling in love with the Trans-woman. Sure, I hated the Transphobic bits in the trailer but I decided to reserve my judgement until I saw the movie.

I texted in a group if anyone was interested in coming to watch the movie with me. I have seen these people watch an absurd misogynistic movie and brag about their “open-mindedness” for the sexual jokes which are mostly about objectifying a women’s bodies. But when it comes to a movie that features a trans character, there is a radio-silence from them.

I jump to the conclusions very easily and that’s not a healthy habit, I know, but when it comes to homophobia and something to that area, more than often I have not been proven wrong. I finally saw the pattern of how their support existed for me as a queer person only in my inbox and while meeting me in person. They were afraid to come for movie like this, that educates about trans people, because they are afraid people will think they are “one of those people” and more like, “one of me”.

I don’t speak for my people(LGBTQIA+ community) but I do know it is hurtful to see your closed ones turning against you. But guess what? Taking the load of their cowardice, is none of ours responsibility. I don’t know if homophobic people hate the community but I know for sure I don’t hate them. I pity them, because they will never be able to live outside the CISHET script (study, job, marriage, kids, retirement, death). They will never be able to open arms for people different than them much less raise them and they will keep on believing their way of living is so-called “normal”. Good luck with that.

[basicjetsetter]

Part II

♡ Pairing: Peter Parker x Black!FemaleReader

▹ Warnings: Language, Mentions of Death, Depression, Triggering Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt

▹ Words: 3k

▹ A/N: ATTENTION! This is an emotionally heavy part. Please DO NOT READ if you know you will be affected. For those struggling with depression, I see you, I care for you, and I love you. You’re not alone and you are undeniably worthy of love.

-Five Years and Twenty Nine Days Later-

You don’t want to get up.

Your phone’s alarm clock is rounding on its tenth circuit, if your counting is correct… and there’s a good chance you blanked out for fifteen minutes while watching a strip of sunlight lethargically inch down your blanket to the foot of the bed, so your number may be off by six or seven.

It’s not that you’re tired or anything, or maybe you are and that’s beside the point. It’s just that your bed is far too comfortable for your own good and you know today is Saturday, the busiest day at Hal’s Diner, and it just so happens you’re scheduled for an 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. brunch rush. If you had a choice, you’d stay in bed.

But you don’t. And you’re running twenty minutes late… for the fourth time in two weeks.

I’ve got you.

Shut the fuck up.

You wearily snarl, snatching your pillow out from under your head and slamming it against your face, uselessly stuffing it over your ears as if that would somehow miraculously block out the words. 

Usually, the voice stayed quiet. After three years of the repeated promise drifting around your brain like a lost ship at sea, you had finally figured out how to anchor it to the deepest, darkest, most unchartered recess of your mind. Every now and then, though, they’d find a way to rattle the chains, just to remind you of their eternal presence, but it never lasted long. You didn’t acknowledge them anymore. They no longer fooled you.

But, twenty-nine days ago, something reinvigorated the voice, giving them a renewed sense of purpose and a reason to break free.

Twenty-nine days ago, on the exact anniversary of their disappearance, everyone came back. 

Out of the blue, in the middle of the day, all of the people Earth mourned for five years reappeared to a very, very stunned world. Celebration rocked the streets of New York and all over the globe. Lovers lost returned. Mothers. Fathers. Sisters. Brothers. Babies. Friends. They all came back. And the voice in your head broke free of its chains, rampantly bouncing around your mind as if they were on pure steroids, ready to charge forward and find the one your Destined Words belonged to. 

Everything reverted back to normal.

Except, besides your newly released Destined Words, nothing changed for you.

You weren’t there when… when your best friend rematerialized in your previous apartment. You moved to a smaller, modestly priced place six blocks away. It was great for what little money you had, and your landlords, a lovely couple that always leaves you a present outside your door for Christmas and birthdays, were generous enough to accommodate for your lack of funds.

You just couldn’t keep your parents’ apartment. Not when you knew they weren’t coming back. 

No one ever speaks about the casualties of the ones lost that day, the ones who perished from the effects of the blip. For a long time, you just couldn’t cope with the fact that a swerving hit from a rogue truck whose driver turned to dust was all it took to take your parents away. But you had to move on.

Ever since that day five years ago, you’ve been on your own.

You’re sure your friend tried looking for you by now, continually calling up a retired cellphone number, searching through deleted social media accounts, maybe even asking your old high school for your whereabouts to no avail. Even though you’re not far from home, she’d never find you. 

You don’t want to be found. You like being alone.

With a great, gusty sigh, you roll out of bed, grab some clothes and undergarments, then pad to the bathroom, ignoring the chiming circuit of your alarm clock. It can wait. You go through the motions: washing up, putting your hair in its regular bun, brushing your teeth, and staring at your unaged face in the spotted mirror.

It’s not vanity, though it’s common knowledge that your features will be impervious to aging for a long while. You literally haven’t aged a single day since the blip.

It was an intriguing phenomenon after the first two years. Everyone your age who had heard their Destined Words but had yet to meet their Soulmate just stopped aging, and when the younger generation hit the age of eighteen, they stopped aging as well. For some, like you, the effect was felt rather than seen. Ever since the string inside you snapped, you knew that cosmic time would stand still until you connected with your other soul. You’re not holding your breath for that anytime soon.

As you step out of the steam-filled bathroom, your alarm blares out its last chime before switching to the Vmm Vmm Vmm of an incoming call.

You pick up on the sixth ring. “Good morning, Hal.”

“This is the fourth—”

“The fourth time. I know, I know. I’m on my way.”

Hal grunts into the receiver, “Don’t get smart with me, little lady. Just because you’re my best server doesn’t mean I won’t fire you.”

That’s precisely what that means, and he knows you know it. You blow out a sigh, “I’m seriously almost out the door. Like two steps.”

“Uh-huh,” he says, a hint of a grin in his quizzical noise. “Well, hightail it, would’ya? The joint’s packed already and I need all hands on deck, so scoot.”

“Scooting,” you confirm, snagging your bag off of your sofa and grabbing your keys. “Who’s with me today?” Please don’t say Wendy. Please don’t say Wendy.

“Chris and Wendy.”

You groan as you shut the door behind you. “Come on, Hal. She’s dead weight in the morning. I might as well be working with a zombie in an apron.”

Hal grumps, “At least the zombie gets here on time.”

“Have you had coffee yet? You’re not you when you’re decaffeinated.” It’s true. Even with your truancy, Hal wouldn’t hold it over your head more than twice. He’s usually as chipper as a dog in a dog park at this time, bustling and joking up a storm.

He takes a loud sip, then says, “We’re slammed, is all, and I’m missing my best hand.” Two disgruntled heys ring in the background and Hal immediately issues apologies. “Just get here, will ya?”

Before you can remind him again that you are on your way, he disconnects the call.

You’re wondering if it’s too late to go back to bed.

The little, infamous family diner is only seven blocks south of your apartment building, a nice walk when the weather’s good and a pain in the ass when it’s not. You used to enjoy the quiet mornings and the stillness that came with it, but ever since things went back to normal, you can’t survive the walk without a pair of headphones jammed in your ears and your music’s volume turned all the way up. Everyone’s just so… loud.

Thankfully, today, the walk is a straight shot and you’re in the doors within fifteen minutes.

It’s like stepping into a den full of ravenous animals. Worse, it’s like stepping into a den full of ravenous animals and being stuck with the task of serving them.

“Look who’s finally decided to show up,” Wendy chides, stifling a yawn as she shuffles to a table and places down three menus. She’s twenty-two years old and likes setting your teeth on edge.

You deadpan, “Did the cat drag you in from the front door or the back?”

“Knock it off, you two,” warns Chris, walking by with two arms balancing four plates of the Sunrise Breakfast Special. He looks at you, then jerks his chin back to the kitchen. “Boss is about to blow his top.”

Nodding, you make your way to the back, giving a small wave to some regulars. Out of breath and sweat running down his reddened neck, Hal is moving like a man caught in a whirlwind, flipping eggs and pancakes and sausages and hash browns and bacon while checking orders and filling plates. As soon as he hears the kitchen door close and sees you, he visibly sags in relief.

“Don’t bother clocking in. Just put your apron on and get out there.”

You nod. Set down your things. Put on your apron. Arrange a plastic smile.

Go through the motions.

It’s all the same thing every single day. Wake up, work, school, sleep. Repeat. Unlike the other constants, school is something you’re temporarily trying out. It wasn’t your original plan, the whole four years to a bachelor’s degree, then some more years for a master’s. You gave that up long ago. Right now, you’re just taking a free weekend art class at a community college. Oddly enough, it’s something you’re beginning to look forward to on Saturdays and Sundays.

Work, while you’re great at what you do, is never a highlight. 

Hal was right. The diner is slammed, and you’re swept up in the current of rude, demanding customers, snide remarks from Wendy, cheerful shrugs from Chris, and barking orders from Hal for six whole hours. You work through your two fifteen-minute breaks. No one reminds you. You slip on spilled hash browns. No one helps you. You bring back a plate three times to satisfy a customer who kept finding fault with their eggs. No one thanks you.

Everything is back to normal.

I’ve got you.

“Fuck off,” you snap, slapping a hand to your mouth when you see the elderly woman you’re serving knit her brows in revulsion. “Oh, no, ma’am. I’m-I’m sorry, I was—”

She stands and marches out of the diner before you could explain, snatching her ten-dollar tip off the table.

“… talking to myself,” you finish under your breath.

She’s the last of the brunch rush, leaving only the regular afternoon crowd and a few stragglers. The clock near the cash register reads 2:13 p.m.

You brush off the disappointment of a lost tip and head to the kitchen to grab your things and leave, Chris and Wendy following you. Hal’s two other workers, the ones here till closing, cover the floor well. Not like they had much to do.

Hal is whistling a jaunty tune when you walk in, stopping to salute you, Chris, and Wendy with an exhausted grin. “Nice work out there, you guys. See you tomorrow.”

Wendy is out the door the instant she clocks out.

Chris catches your arm as you grab your bag from your small locker. “Hey, um, I sort of heard your little outburst, and I was wondering if you were okay.”

You nod, gently shrugging his hand off. “Yeah, it’s just a tip. I made enough.”

“No, not that,” he shakes his head, clearing his throat and pushing a hand through his choppy beach-blond hair. He ineptly bends his head down a little, getting close enough for a private conversation you do not want to have. “It’s just… you’ve done that before and I just want to make sure everything’s alright with you.”

You can’t put the plastic smile back on, he’s seen it too many times to know it’s not real, so you half-heartedly grin. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

“Yeah, anytime. Hey, so, me and a couple friends are hanging out tonight. There’s gonna be a music festival in Cunningham Park. Wanna hang?”

Chris tries this every week. At first, you thought it was his bashful attempt at asking you out, but he’s a happily taken man with a big heart and a lot of friends. Every customer he meets, boom, they’re friends and soon loyal customers of Hal’s. It’s a gift. You just wish he caught your not-so-subtle hints of evasion.

Tonight, though, you had the perfect excuse. “Can’t. I got class.”

He tilts his head in confusion. “On a Saturday night?”

“Yeah. It’s a free course. Get it where I can take it, you know,” you awkwardly laugh, hoping Chris wasn’t offended as you take a couple of steps back towards the exit.

His smile doesn’t falter. “Maybe next time, then.”

Not likely. “Sure, yeah. See you later.”

You duck out before he says goodbye, dashing out the front door and speed-walking home.

I’ve got you.

I’ve got you.

I’ve got you.

You stop dead in the middle of a sidewalk.

Where did that come from? It’s never said it three times in a row before. Does… does that mean something?

Your breath quickens at the thought, and you spin around, scanning the vacant street. You’re the only one occupying the sidewalk, you and a curious squirrel sniffing at the crisp air. There’s not a person in sight. When you’re certain you’re in the clear, pivoting a glance around one more time for good measure, you pick up the pace, practically running the rest of the way home.

Once you’re in your apartment and the door shuts, you desperately whisper to your mind, “Don’t say it anymore. I don’t want them, okay? I don’t want a Soulmate.”

Nothing.

“I know you hear me,” you bite out aloud, forcefully shoving back the urge to yell. “Stop saying the words.”

Still nothing.

Silence rings hollow in your mind like the voice is waiting for your temper to cool down. Like it knew it upset you and felt chastened enough to back off and take a time out in a corner.

You stand immobile in the middle of your cramped sitting area. Tense. Waiting. Waiting longer than you care to admit. The urge to fight deserts you as quick as it comes, but you’re still standing there with your fists balled up, feeling more and more defeated as the minutes drain away.

The voice isn’t going to leave you alone. You know that. It’s here to serve one purpose, and the only thing holding it up is you. You’re meant to meet whoever those words belong to… but then what? They magically fix you? They love you back to normal? Five years ago, you may have believed they can do that. But, the problem is, you’ve gone through enough life-altering events in the last five years to last you a lifetime, and this one person, this person destined to pair with your soul, won’t be your wave-of-a-wand solution.

You just want it to stop.

I’ve got you.

A lone tear slides down your cheek as you trek to your bed and climb in fully clothed.

For a long time, you simply stare up at the ceiling as the tears leak out the corners of your eyes. You make no noise, and your chest doesn’t jerk up and down with sobs. The tears gather, and then they fall. Gather and fall. Gather and fall until there are no tears left. You continue staring at the ceiling.

You think back to the days when those godforsaken words and the future they foretold brought you happiness. What a wonderful promise, pairing with someone who will always be there for you in some capacity and will instantly love you. You can’t recall any Soulmate story not working out. Maybe they just never speak about it. Why mar the fantasy?

The sun dipped below the horizon a while ago, and now the moon shines bright in the night sky. You missed your art class.

Your body is as stiff as a board when you sit up. There’s a tight pounding in your forehead, either from crying or lack of food, but you aren’t bothered enough to deal with it. Instead, you move to the only window in your room and pull back the curtains to gaze at the stars. Not many are out yet, but they glitter like gems around the moon, and the night sky nears a lovely shade of midnight blue.

The sight is so pretty; you find yourself grabbing a couple of paint bottles, brushes, and a small canvass, then heading out of your apartment, walking up six flights of stairs to reach the roof.

It’s quiet when you get up there, save for the noise of zooming cars below. The first time you came up on the roof, just out of curiosity, you loved how solitary it felt, loved the view overlooking the building-strewn skyline and the overall height of the complex. It became a nice place to visit when you wanted to be by yourself.

You walk over to the edge of the building, sitting your supplies down on the ledge, then look up at the sky for the best angle to capture the moon and the stars.

The sky is vast. So endless. So open. So free. You stop scoping out for the perfect angle and just admire the shining moon when your eyes land on it. It’s waning, only a sliver of its surface visible as it prepares to transition into a New Moon. Then you gaze at the stars as they dimly twinkle back at you… like they can see right through you.

Like they can see your sadness.

You step closer to the ledge, each step laden with the weight of smothered grief. You lost everyone. Your parents. Manda. She’d never recognize the person you’ve become.

You step onto the ledge, not looking down but up, trying to memorize the image.

You lost your Soulmate. That broken string in your chest never felt the same, even after everyone came back. Maybe you were too far gone for any connection.

You turn around. You’d thought you’d feel numb, but acceptance fills you. It’s okay to let go.

You lower your eyes, slowly lean back, and let gravity take over.

Air sails past your ears in a rush as you fall, and you can’t really focus on anything except your erratic heartbeat. You don’t struggle as your body wants. You just fall and wait.

And then, in a sudden flash of red and blue, you’re propelling sideways and swinging upwards, a strong arm pressing you against a hard chest.

“I’ve got you.”

As soon as he said the words, you knew who they belonged to, as if you knew this entire time. Even with the mask covering his face, you knew. But it still doesn’t stop you from incredulously saying, “Peter?”

His masked face snaps to yours. A small part of you tries to pin his surprise on you correctly guessing his identity, but something bigger assures you the reason for his alarm is a match to your own.

He knows you’re his Soulmate.

...

Part III

[thebonggirll]

Chapter 36 - Dorm

Chapter 35

"I heard your brother is collaborating with an artist from my parent's company," Kyoka said.

Y/N filled her in of all that went down in those few days. And finally, they got some time left in their hands to spend some time together. While her parents were not agreeing to send her over for a sleepover at first, they gave in when they heard about Kyoka's parents.

"Oh yeah I heard that," she chuckled and scrolled down her social media account, "They were not ready to send me anywhere. I'm lucky that they know your parents."

"How do you think they're gonna react to the notice?"

"I guess they received it by now, right?" Y/N locked her phone and turned to her friend, "Can you get your parents to talk to them? I don't think they'll agree."

"Why are your parents so overprotective?"

"Because they didn't want me to start a career here in the first place. Let's talk about something else. I escaped from the situation, so I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well, they are gonna talk with you tomorrow though," Kyoka said and observed the sullen face of her friend, "Okay, so...is it okay to talk about Baku-"

Y/N sighed in annoyance and said, "Gosh, you choose to talk about topics I don't want to."

"Yeah, but you have to talk about it with someone right? I mean...do you think you know what he meant?"

"I don't know anything about him," Y/N muttered and looked at her chats, "I gotta inform Oikawa about this now? Ugh kill me."

"What? You don't seriously think that he rejected you right?" Kyoka asked her.

"What else did he mean by he doesn't have time for this?"

"....that he just need some time?"

"You don't expect me to have hope even after this right?"

Kyoka sighed, "No, you're right you shouldn't-"

"Cause I found a loophole and I think I'm gonna hold onto this just a bit longer," Y/N giggled.

"I didn't mean that-"

"Maybe he'll say okay after we settle down with our careers?"

"Dude...either you have an incredible amount of patience or you're just plain dumb,"

"I can be both," Y/N pouted as Kyoka clicked a picture of her.

"This is going on instagram," she said.

"I swear to god, I'll trap you in my water prison and you won't be able to get out," Y/N said trying to reach over her phone.

"Oh yeah, I'm so scared," Kyoka laughed, "You look cute, so shut up."

Y/N quickly took a picture of her friend, as they both started wrestling each other. "Oh are you scared? Should I call Kaminari to hold your hand?" she laughed, getting her mobile away from Kyoka's reach.

Her friend turned to a shade of red and started stuttering, "Hey, it was a one time thing!"

"When you were in the hospital, unconscious and alone?" Y/N wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "You know who else got all romantic in the hospital? I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING. I've got the experience!"

Suddenly the door opened and Kyoka's father entered the room, "Can you girls be a little quiet!"

"You expected us to sleep in a sleepover, dad?"

"Mr. Jirou Kyoka's got an admirer-" Y/N laughed and got slammed down on the bed, Kyoka's hand tightly covering her face.

"It's nothing-" Kyoka said.

"Oh," his expression hardened as he stared at the girls and muttered, "my god!" He quickly entered and closing the door behind him he sat down on their bed like a gossiper and said, "Tell me everything! Who's this person!"

The students gathered around in front of a building waiting for their teacher. Ofcourse it took a lot of convincing from the teachers and a tantrum from Y/N, but her parents finally agreed on letting her stay in a dorm. The safety measures in the campus were one of the main reasons too.

"Your dad looks cool. I mean it would've been fine if we did talk about Kami-"

"Nope," Kyoka said, "You don't know how I've been dealing with this shit you caused since the last time." She turned around and said, "Don't look at the back-"

"Ooh look at my hubby," Y/N muttered, "trying to look all broody with that baby face."

Kyoka slapped her hand on her forehead, "Jesus, it feels like he made it worse for you. You're annoying-"

"There's your dumbass hubby," Y/N interrupted her and pointed at Kaminari.

"I don't know who you are," Kyoka said and walked forward, ignoring her calls.

Y/N's smile slowly faltered when she turned to look at Bakugou.

And just like before, feeling a set of eyes on him, he looked at her direction as she quickly turned away and walked towards Kyoka.

Oh..and with a blush on her face.

He never noticed these little things before, did he? Now it felt like he was more conscious of her actions than before.

Aizawa arrived and stood in front of the students in the mean time.

"Given everything that has happened, I'm glad we're  able to bring Class A back together. Now then, I'll explain how your dorm assignments will work shortly. First however," he joined his hands and said, "we haven't forgotten about the provisional hero licenses that you were supposed to get during the training camp. This is important so listen up. Kirishima, Yaoyorozu, Midoriya, Iida, Todoroki and Y/N, you six were the ones who broke the rules and decided to go rescue Bakugou that night. Based on your reactions, I assume the rest of you were atleast aware of their plan. I'm gonna set aside a number of issues to just say this - if it weren't for All Might's retirement from the hero scene, I would've expelled everyone here except Bakugou, Jirou and Hagakure. The six of you went, sure but the rest of you remained silent and betrayed our trust, even if I was to keep your friends from getting into trouble. In order to regain our confidence, you need to obey every rule and live as model students."

Aizawa turned around and walked towards the dorm, "Now look alive. Enjoy your new home."

Bakugou pulled Kaminari behind a wall and after a while, he came in looking in a daze - usually like the stupid phase he goes into after using his powers too much. All the students cracked up and the blond offered some money to Kirishima.

"This is my money you idiot. To replace what you spent. Don't say I never gave you anything. Now I'm not in your debt," he said walking away.

Y/N looked at him and then laughed looking at Kaminari.

"Hey dumbass."

She straightened her posture hearing the voice and waited for him to say further.

"I'm talking to you dumbass."

Y/N turned to look at the blond standing before her. "I don't wanna be in your debt."

Her face cracked a small amused smile and she asked, "Are you here to ask me what I want?" She received nothing but silence from him.

"Aren't you mad at me?" she asked.

"For what."

Y/N couldn't believe her ears. She was sure that Bakugou would be mad after he came to know how she knew the truth about All Might before he did. Oh well, she didn't want to remind him either.

"Anyways," a sudden wave of courage took over her and she said, "You know what I want though right?"

Bakugou stared at her for a while and muttered 'tch', leaving her standing with the classmates, as he entered the dorm.

Y/N didn't know what she was feeling though. Ofcourse, her heart felt heavy remembering the rejection, which she has been avoiding to accept. But then again, was this fluttering in her heart whenever she talked to him. She definitely wasn't regretting that.

It was worth it to see the most short-tempered person of her class blush once in a while.

Chapter 37

SEASON - III

Ignite

MASTERLIST

Tags:  @honeylemondragonemperor @mikithekiki @kkikiss @garnet-redtailedhero

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From Joe Morice, daughters in 8th & 10th grade in Fairfax County Public Schools' Centreville Pyramid:

To our fellow FCPS families—this is it gang: 5 days until the 2 days in school vs. 100% virtual decision. Let’s talk it out, in my traditional mammoth TL/DR form.

Like all of you, I’ve seen my feed become a flood of anxiety and faux expertise. You’ll get no presumption of expertise here. This is how I am looking at and considering this issue and the positions people have taken in my feed and in the hundred or so FCPS discussion groups that have popped up. The lead comments in quotes are taken directly from my feed and those boards. Sometimes I try to rationalize them. Sometimes I’m just punching back at the void.

Full disclosure, we initially chose the 2 days option and are now having serious reservations. As I consider the positions and arguments I see in my feed, these are where my mind goes. Of note, when I started working on this piece at 12:19 PM today the COVID death tally in the United States stood at 133,420.

“My kids want to go back to school.”

I challenge that position. I believe what the kids desire is more abstract. I believe what they want is a return to normalcy. They want their idea of yesterday. And yesterday isn’t on the menu.

“I want my child in school so they can socialize.”

This was the principle reason for our 2 days decision. As I think more on it though, what do we think ‘social’ will look like? There aren’t going to be any lunch table groups, any lockers, any recess games, any study halls, any sitting next to friends, any talking to people in the hallway, any dances. All of that is off the menu. So, when we say that we want the kids to benefit from the social experience, what are we deluding ourselves into thinking in-building socialization will actually look like in the Fall?

“My kid is going to be left behind.”

Left behind who? The entire country is grappling with the same issue, leaving all children in the same quagmire. Who exactly would they be behind? I believe the rhetorical answer to that is “They’ll be behind where they should be,” to which I’ll counter that “where they should be” is a fictional goal post that we as a society have taken as gospel because it maps to standardized tests which are used to grade schools and counties as they chase funding.

“Classrooms are safe.”

At the current distancing guidelines from FCPS middle and high schools would have no more than 12 people (teachers + students) in a classroom (I acknowledge this number may change as FCPS considers the Commonwealth’s 3 ft with a mask vs. 6 ft position, noting that FCPS is all mask regardless of the distance). For the purpose of this discussion we’ll say classes run 45 minutes.

I posed the following question to 40 people today, representing professional and management roles in corporations, government agencies, and military commands: “Would your company or command have a 12 person, 45 minute meeting in a conference room?”

100% of them said no, they would not. These are some of their answers:

“No. Until further notice we are on Zoom.”

“(Our company) doesn’t allow us in (company space).”

“Oh hell no.”

“No absolutely not.”

“Is there a percentage lower than zero?”

“Something of that size would be virtual.”

We do not even consider putting our office employees into the same situation we are contemplating putting our children into. And let’s drive this point home: there are instances here when commanding officers will not put soldiers, ACTUAL SOLDIERS, into the kind of indoor environment we’re contemplating for our children. For me this is as close to a ‘kill shot’ argument as there is in this entire debate. How do we work from home because buildings with recycled air are not safe, because we don’t trust other people to not spread the virus, and then with the same breath send our children into buildings?

“Children only die .0016 of the time.”

First, conceding we’re an increasingly morally bankrupt society, but when did we start talking about children’s lives, or anyone’s lives, like this? This how the villain in movies talks about mortality, usually 10-15 minutes before the good guy kills him.

If you’re in this camp, and I acknowledge that many, many people are, I’m asking you to consider that number from a slightly different angle.

FCPS has 189,000 children. .0016 of that is 302. 302 dead children are the Calvary Hill you’re erecting your argument on. So, let’s agree to do this: stop presenting this as a data point. If this is your argument, I challenge you to have courage equal to your conviction. Go ahead, plant a flag on the internet and say, “Only 302 children will die.” No one will. That’s the kind action on social media that gets you fired from your job. And I trust our social media enclave isn’t so careless and irresponsible with life that it would even, for even a millisecond, enter any of your minds to make such an argument.

Considered another way: You’re presented with a bag with 189,000 $1 bills. You’re told that in the bag are 302 random bills, they look and feel just like all the others, but each one of those bills will kill you. Do you take the money out of the bag?

Same argument, applied to the 12,487 teachers in FCPS (per Wikipedia), using the ‘children’s multiplier’ of .0016 (all of us understanding the adult mortality rate is higher). That’s 20 teachers. That’s the number you’re talking about. It’s very easy to sit behind a keyboard and diminish and dismiss the risk you’re advocating other people assume. Take a breath and think about that.

If you want to advocate for 2 days a week, look, I’m looking for someone to convince me. But please, for the love of God, drop things like this from your argument. Because the people I know who’ve said things like this, I know they’re better people than this. They’re good people under incredible stress who let things slip out as their frustration boils over. So, please do the right thing and move on from this, because one potential outcome is that one day, you’re going to have to stand in front of St. Peter and answer for this, and that’s not going to be conversation you enjoy.

“Hardly any kids get COVID.”

(Deep sigh) Yes, that is statistically true as of this writing. But it is a cherry-picked argument because you’re leaving out an important piece.

One can reasonably argue that, due to the school closures in March, children have had the least EXPOSURE to COVID. In other words, closing schools was the one pandemic mitigation action we took that worked. There can be no discussion of the rate of diagnosis within children without also acknowledging they were among our fastest and most quarantined people. Put another way, you cannot cite the effect without acknowledging the cause.

“The flu kills more people every year.”

(Deep sigh). First of all, no, it doesn’t. Per the CDC, United States flu deaths average 20,000 annually. COVID, when I start writing here today, has killed 133,420 in six months.

And when you mention the flu, do you mean the disease that, if you’re suspected of having it, everyone, literally everyone in the country tells you stay the f- away from other people? You mean the one where parents are pretty sure their kids have it but send them to school anyway because they have a meeting that day, the one that every year causes massive f-ing outbreaks in schools because schools are petri dishes and it causes kids to miss weeks of school and leaves them out of sports and band for a month? That one? Because you’re right - the flu kills people every year. It does, but you’re ignoring the why. It’s because there are people who are a--holes who don’t care about infecting other people. In that regard it’s a perfect comparison to COVID.

“Almost everyone recovers.”

You’re confusing “release from the hospital” and “no longer infected” with “recovered.” I’m fortunate to only know two people who have had COVID. One my age and one my dad’s age. The one my age described it as “absolute hell” and although no longer infected cannot breathe right. The one my dad’s age was in the hospital for 13 weeks, had to have a trach ring put in because she could no longer be on a ventilator, and upon finally getting home and being faced with incalculable time in rehab told my mother, “I wish I had died.”

While I’m making every effort to reach objectivity, on this particular point, you don’t know what the f- you’re talking about.

“If people get sick, they get sick.”

First, you mistyped. What you intended to say was “If OTHER people get sick, they get sick.” And shame on you.

“I’m not going to live my life in fear.”

You already live your life in fear. For your health, your family’s health, your job, your retirement, terrorists, extremists, one political party or the other being in power, the new neighbors, an unexpected home repair, the next sunrise. What you meant to say was, “I’m not prepared to add ANOTHER fear,” and I’ve got news for you: that ship has sailed. It’s too late. There are two kinds of people, and only two: those that admit they’re afraid, and those that are lying to themselves about it.

As to the fear argument, fear is the reason you wait up when your kids stay out late, it’s the reason you tell your kids not to dive in the shallow water, to look both ways before crossing the road. Fear is the respect for the wide world that we teach our children. Except in this instance, for reasons no one has been able to explain to me yet.

“FCPS leadership sucks.”

I will summarize my view of the School Board thusly: if the 12 of you aren’t getting into a room together because it represents a risk, don’t tell me it’s OK for our kids. I understand your arguments, that we need the 2 days option for parents who can’t work from home, kids who don’t have internet or computer access, kids who needs meals from the school system, kids who need extra support to learn, and most tragically for kids who are at greater risk of abuse by being home. All very serious, all very real issues, all heartbreaking. No argument.

But you must first lead by example. Because you’re failing when it comes to optics. All your meetings are online. What our children see is all of you on a Zoom telling them it’s OK for them to be exactly where you aren’t. I understand you’re not PR people, but you really should think about hiring some.

“I talked it over with my kids.”

Let’s put aside for a moment the concept of adults effectively deferring this decision to children, the same children who will continue to stuff things into a full trash can rather than change it out. Yes, those hygienic children.

Listen, my 15 year old daughter wants a sport car, which she’s not getting next year because it would be dangerous to her and to others. Those kinds of decisions are our job. We step in and decide as parents, we don’t let them expose themselves to risks because their still developing and screen addicted brains narrow their understanding of cause and effect.

We as parents and adults serve to make difficult decisions. Sometimes those are in the form of lessons, where we try to steer kids towards the right answer and are willing to let them make a mistake in the hopes of teaching better decision making the next time around. This is not one of those moments. The stakes are too high for that. This is a “the adults are talking” moment. Kids are not mature enough for this moment. That is not an attack on your child. It is a broad statement about all children. It is true of your children and it was true when we were children. We need to be doing that thinking here, and “Johnny wants to see Bobby at school” cannot be the prevailing element in the equation.

“The teachers need to do their job.”

How is it that the same society which abruptly shifted to virtual students only three months ago, and offered glowing endorsements of teachers stating, “we finally understand how difficult your job is,” has now shifted to “screw you, do your job.” There are myriad problems with that position but for the purposes of this piece let’s simply go with, “You’re not looking for a teacher, you’re looking for the babysitter you feel your property tax payment entitles you to.”

“Teachers have a greater chance to being killed by a car than they do of dying from COVID.”

(Eye roll) Per the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), the U.S. see approximately 36,000 auto fatalities a year. Again, there have been 133,420 COVID deaths in the United States through 12:09 July 10, 2020. So no, they do not have a great chance of being killed in a car accident.

And, if you want to take the actual environment into consideration, the odds of a teacher being killed in a car accident in their classroom, you know, the environment we’re actually talking about, that’s right around 0%.

“If the grocery store workers can be onsite what are the teachers afraid of?”

(Deep breath) A grocery store worker, who absolutely risks exposure, has either six feet of space or a plexiglass shield between them and individual adult customers who can grasp their own mortality whose transactions can be completed in moments, in a 40,000 SF space.

A teacher is with 11 ‘customers’ who have not an inkling what mortality is, for 45 minutes, in a 675 SF space, six times a day.

Just stop.

“Teachers are choosing remote because they don’t want to work.”

(Deep breaths) Many teachers are opting to be remote. That is not a vacation. They’re requesting to do their job at a safer site. Just like many, many people who work in buildings with recycled air have done. And likely the building you’re not going into has a newer and better serviced air system than our schools.

Of greater interest to me is the number of teachers choosing the 100% virtual option for their children. The people who spend the most time in the buildings are the same ones electing not to send their children into those buildings. That’s something I pay attention to.

“I wasn’t prepared to be a parent 24/7” and “I just need a break.”

I truly, deeply respect that honesty. Truth be told, both arguments have crossed my mind. Pre COVID, I routinely worked from home 1 – 2 days a week. The solace was nice. When I was in the office, I had an actual office, a room with a door I could close, where I could focus. During the quarantine that hasn’t always been the case. I’ve been frustrated, I’ve been short, I’ve gone to just take a drive and get the hell away for a moment and been disgusted when one of the kids sees me and asks me to come for a ride, robbing me of those minutes of silence. You want to hear silence. I get it. I really, really do.

Here’s another version of that, admittedly extreme. What if one of our kids becomes one of the 302? What’s that silence going to sound like? What if you have one of those matted frames where you add the kid’s school picture every year? What if you don’t get to finish the pictures?

“What does your gut tell you to do?”

Shawn and I have talked ad infinitum about all of these and other points. Two days ago, at mid-discussion I said, “Stop, right now, gut answer, what is it,” and we both said, “virtual.”

A lot of the arguments I hear people making for the 2 days sound like we’re trying to talk ourselves into ignoring our instincts, they are almost exclusively, “We’re doing 2 days, but…”. There’s a fantastic book by Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear, which I’ll minimize for you thusly: your gut instinct is a hardwired part of your brain and you should listen to it. In the introduction he talks about elevators, and how, of all living things, humans are the only ones that would voluntarily get into a soundproof steel box with a potential predator just so they could skip a flight of stairs.

I keep thinking that the 2 days option is the soundproof steel box. I welcome, damn, beg, anyone to convince me otherwise.

At the time I started writing at 12:09 PM, 133,420 Americans had died from COVID. Upon completing this draft at 7:04 PM, that number rose to 133,940.

520 Americans died of COVID while I was working on this. In seven hours.

The length of a school day.