stupidwittlebaby - Tumblr blog

[stupidwittlebaby]

:33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes those who actively watch/read anime, and make awfully unfunny references 24/7 because they like it. its a hobby, let people enjoy what they enjoy

:33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes therians who want to do quads 24/7, always talk about warrior cats, always want to wear gear, even in public, and experience extreme dysphoria. that is their identity. let them be

B33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes that introject/fictive that cannot let go of their source. (and typing quirks if they have one) they are trying their hardest, please leave them alone

:33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes that queer person that wears a gajillion pins, carries pride flags everywhere, uses a bunch of xenogenders and neopronouns, has the most extreme flamboyant make up and makes queer jokes all the time. thats how they experience their queerness

B33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes the plurals/systems who talk about being a system/being plural all the time and make system jokes and references to their headspace 24/7. all experience are different

:33 < "to be cringe is to be free" includes that scene kid that wears heavy make up, a bunch of accessories that dont even mix together, and always talks about their sparkledog fursona. thats how they express themselves

"to be cringe is to be free" involves cringe people.

[stupidwittlebaby]

Mongolians are cool because they’ve merged their traditional and modern ways of life so rather than having poverty due to losing all their important skills they just live in their yurts with their cows and 827474874mbs internet

[stupidwittlebaby]

did the dinosaurs look at the meteor and thought "how pretty"?

[stupidwittlebaby]

i love this dumbass dinosaur

[stupidwittlebaby]

Here's how my pride rock garden is going along! I put my newest rock, the agender rock, by the ace and aro.

[stupidwittlebaby]

"What is to come"

(image id is both in the alt text and below the read more- I put it under one because it's incredibly long)

And so there we have it, the 200+ followers artpiece that I have been working on for several days, if I had to guess I'd say it took 25 or so hours over eleven days. Honestly it's so surreal to me that I'm here with over 200 followers (260 as of typing this- yes, I procrastinated on this), especially when I only hit 100 followers in February. It's genuinely really nice to know that people are actually interested in my art (before anyone brings up spam bots- I know there are a few of them amongst my followers but I've checked most of them and I am 100% confident that over 200 of them are real). I don't really have much else to say really- I'm just grateful to have the support. Thanks y'all :).

[Image id: a large, lineless digital drawing of several dinosaurs. It is nighttime. At the bottom of the piece, a lone Eoraptor lunensis is walking across the floodplains- both the ground and the Eoraptor are just silhouettes, the early dinosaur has been given protofeathers. The full moon is shining, it's size is exaggerated for artistic affect. Behind the moon, the heads of sixteen different dinosaurs can be seen (listed left to right, bottom to top) Row 1- Thecodontosaurus antiquus (small sauropodomorph with light brown protofeathers, near-white undersides, straight stripes that are moderately darker than the base colour and vibrant green eyes), Coelophysis bauri (small early theropod with a long and narrow skull, its protofeathers are golden and black. A soft orange stripe runs across the back of its head, it has warm brown eyes. Row 2- Plateosaurus trossingensis (long-necked sauropodomorph, it has reddish-brown scales, light undersides, triangular stripes running down it's spine that get bigger the further down they get and pale yellow eyes), Heterodontosaurus tuckii (small ornithopod with a hooked grey beak. It has spiky green feathers, a lighter chest and a darker stripe running along its head and back, there are three small spots on its face, two behind the eye and one infront of it, it's eyes are bright yellow). Row 3- Megalosaurus bucklandii (medium-sized theropod with warm brown feathers, lighter undersides, dark spots and bright yellow eyes, there are several scars on its face), Brachiosaurus altithorax (greenish-grey true sauropod with lighter undersides, a dark pink patch on its throat, dark desaturated brown eyes and a few small scars on its neck), Archaeopteryx (early toothed bird with a black head, white neck and bright yellow eyes). Row 4- Hylaeosaurus armatus (pale brown ankylosaur with lighter undersides and vibrant green eyes), Velociraptor mongoliensis (dromaeosaur with light brown feathers, a lighter chest, a black stripe near its eye and light green eyes), Sinosauropteryx prima (small compsognathid theropod with ginger protofeathers, an off white mask and undersides and pale yellow eyes), Iguanodon bernissartensis (large greenish-grey ornithopod with a slightly darker back, pale undersides, a grey beak, and yellow eyes). Row 5- Matuku otagoense (heron with medium grey feathers and a small crest. A red stripe runs from just behind its nostrils to about a third of the way down its neck. Its undersides are white, its beak is grey and its eyes are brown), Triceratops prorsus (three-horned ceratopsian with grey-brown scales, lighter undersides, two triangular stripes between it's brow and nasal horns, reddish-orange diamond-like stripes on its frill, a hooked grey beak and golden eyes. Its brow horns curve forward at the base. Row 6- North Island brown kiwi (plump brown bird with a long pale beak, whiskers and black eyes, its nostrils are at the tip of its bill, and unlike the other dinosaurs in the sky part of its body below the neck is visible), male house sparrow (small redish-brown and grey bird with a black bib below it's bill), it has brown eyes and a dark grey bill. Row 7- rock dove (grey bird with iridescent green feathers scattered across its neck, a dark grey beak, and warm brown eyes). end id]

[stupidwittlebaby]

hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

[stupidwittlebaby]

Shoutout to folks with dysphoria that can't be fixed.

To folks with gender dysphoria that is so specific, no combination of HRT and surgery could give you the correct body (at least with where medical science is now).

To folks with species dysphoria, who were straight up born as the wrong thing.

To folks who can't figure out why they're dysphoric. Something doesn't fit right, but why? What would be better?

To folks who struggle with depersonalization, who know that no matter what their body looks like, or how much they like how it looks, it'll never be exactly right.

I hear you.

[stupidwittlebaby]

MAJOR UPDATE: Questioning systems or systems in a doubt spiral pls read.

I recently told my therapist about potentially being a system. This was a scary move because she has previously had some iffy takes about systemhood. But I told her because I trusted that she would meet me where I was at and help me navigate , at the least, the general idea of not understanding my own brain if nothing else which I was ok with. I told her and it went as expected. I explained why I thought I might be a system but also the doubts I had about it and how it was distressing me to not understand myself. She agreed to use the language I was using for it and was happy to help me through (as is her job) and also because whether it was systemhood or not it was something in me that was trying to be seen and we would work on figuring out what it was.

Fast forward a few session, and I was going through another bout of "what the fuck even is my brain". I was starting to realize that my "systemhood" is very different from the things I've been seeing online. In the ways that it's different to other systems is: - I'm always in the front, always in the captains chair - I have no amnesia because I never switch out - My hyper-vigilance never lets me dissociate fully though i definitely "check out" in my own way - Head mates just feel like vague ideas or emotions

But the ways that are similar are: - These vague ideas or emotions have opinions and feelings that are different from my own. - Though they are vague, I can definitely tell they are separate from what I have come to understand as "me" - I become "a different person" in the sense of my attitude, vibe, behavior, and opinions change from where they were 5 mins ago, but I am still me, just a different me.

Anyway, I was already trying to make sense of all of this and was not planning on talking about it with my therapist because nervous... However, my therapist ask me about it first. She asked some clarifying questions about my partners system vs my own and how they are different. When I explained what I just wrote above to my therapist she said "Thats what I thought and I owe you an apology."

Basically, my therapist, like any good therapist should when confronted by something they don't know a lot about, had been doing research on complex forms of trauma and coping. Things in the same vain as CPTSD and Plurality including those two topics. She had specifically been reading a book called "The Body Keeps The Score" (TW it is a book about trauma and studies of trauma so it has details of case studies that some people may find incredibly triggering). I did some research on what exactly the book was talking about in regards to "systemhood" and from what I've found, chapter 14 at the end of a section called "Writing to yourself" and the first parts of chapter 17 have interesting information regarding systemhood and how its not entirely limited to things that are diagnosable like DID or OSDD. It seems to talk about how we all have several selves and trauma can get in the way of those selves communicating effectively. My therapist told me about this book and what she learned from it and apologized to me because the book made her realize that she was wrong and that I was in fact a system....

The session ended and I just kind of sat there... not sure how to feel but definitely feeling relief and validation.

After doing research on the book to write this I have some words of wisdom: If you are a questioning system or are doubting your validity remember this: The human brain is such a complex organism and no one actually understands how it does anything beyond physical functionality... the conceptual abilities of our mind are a mystery. How we define self is just theory. If you don't fit into boxes, labels, identities, or diagnoses that does not mean your experiences aren't real. You're going to be ok. Understand YOUR mind and how it works for YOU, not through a label or diagnosis. I am a system. Simply. No types, labels, or diagnosis. I am a system. I may not have people in my head in the traditional sense but I'm also not alone up here either. I am a system. I am a system. I am a system. Nobody has the right to deny me this for they do not live behind my eyes.

As I understand myself: I am a system.

[stupidwittlebaby]

[stupidwittlebaby]

Person: What'cha doing?

Me: Making baby food.

Person: Awwh! How old are they? :)

Me: What...? Oh, no, for me.

[stupidwittlebaby]

kinda nonhuman because of spirituality, kinda nonhuman because of neurodivergence, kinda nonhuman because of trauma, kinda nonhuman because of queerness. and kinda nonhuman because of a secret 5th thing…

[stupidwittlebaby]

Fuck it, I'm this now.

[stupidwittlebaby]

Okay no but this is kind of how I see our system??

Not all of our parts agree, but like. I'm literally robotkin and we have an alter that's just a command prompt. So like. It's hard not to think of it like that-

plural computer girl

each headmate is a different program

[stupidwittlebaby]

This whole "being human" thing is becoming annoying

[stupidwittlebaby]

We use 'parts' language! Yay!! ♡

I am a part of our collective. I am a part that makes up our whole.

'Parts' language feels more inclusive to me c:

shoutout to systems who use parts language!!! and a friendly reminder for others that parts language isn't dehumanizing and can be useful- as with all terms and labels, when the user chooses to apply it to themselves! we're sorry parts language is forgotten so often and ignored, i hope everyone who uses it has a good day today !

[stupidwittlebaby]

eek! eek! 🦇 ( <- blogging from the cave )