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BREAKTHROUGH!!!! (they haven't slept in weeks)

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dissociation culture is staying up late once and entering third-person mode

-🌧️

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depersonalisation culture is feeling like you're saying things on autopilot. like they're your words but they don't feel like they're yours

-🌧️

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Dissociation culture is walking into stuff because you weren't aware of it being there.

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i know it’s the derealization activating because i’m for some reason not doing well but these days i feel like i have no concept of time, the past and future don’t feel real, i only exist in this one moment and the knowledge that other things outside of the current moment have happened feels strange. connecting all parts of my day together feels wrong. i was there and now i’m here, so there was never here

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just been thinking about how well night in the woods captures derealization

i don’t think i have the exact same problems as mae but as someone who struggled with derealization for like 7 months the feeling she describes as everything just being ‘stuff in the universe, lines that someone wrote’ hits so hard. when you’re in a state of derealization, it feels like you’re untethered to anything. everyone is a cardboard standee to you and you feel like you’re in a tv programme, and everyone’s just reciting their lines, repeating lines of codes. you want it to hurt, cause god damnit it would mean something.

when it got real bad i would just thrash around my room and try and break shit, just to prove i can touch something and my hand won’t go right through it, and i think mae’s breakdown on andy cullen is exactly what i wanted to do to make myself matter somehow and prove that the world i was living in was full of objects i can interact with.

it was all shapes, everyday, and it felt like everything was gone forever, but it being talked about it in a game,, i dont know it made the world feel a little more real to me. the whole idea of ‘at the end of everything, hold on to anything’ is such an important sentiment because at times like that you’ll use anything to ground yourself; little things that remind you that you’re a real person are crucial.

i don’t know i’m just rambling but i’m so glad i got out, and i just wanted to share what this game means to me :) if you’re going through something like this just remember it’s not forever. there’s always hope for you. i love you and you mean alot to me even if all you’ve done is read this post - we’ll feel real again soon friend

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poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

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(Image ID:) a blue, green, and white graphic titled “Depersonalization versus Derealization: Exploring the differences in two dissociative symptoms” organized in two columns. The left hand column is titled “Depersonalization” with a stock icon of a head with a scribbled like for the brain. The right hand column is titled “Derealization” with a stock icon of a broken heart.

The statements in the “Depersonalization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing myself, including my reflection and aspects of my identity,” “I feel as though I don’t exist, like I’m invisible, or like someone besides me is controlling my body,” “I feel disconnected from thoughts, memories, and actions, and have a weak sense of identity,” and “I feel numb physically and emotionally when recalling my own past or painful events.”

The statements in the “Derealization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing my surroundings and environment,” “I feel as though the world around me doesn’t exist, including places and people I interact with daily,” “I feel disconnected from reality and struggle to determine what’s real and what isn’t,” and “I feel numb to the world around me, and daily life seems foggy, unreal, and fake.”

Below these columns is the word “sources:” with the following links:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

https://www.isst-d.org/public-resources-home/fact-sheet-iv-what-are-the-dissociative-disorders/

https://www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-derealization-whats-the-difference/

(END ID)

This infographic was made by us, Halberd (@dreamlandsystem). Feel free to save and share as much as you’d like. Program used: Canva. Image credits: Pixabay. This infographic explores our personal experiences with DPDR, with additional sources for further reading.

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When will I start feeling less *static noises*

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this post is for the people with memory issues

people who's memories are getting worse every day, who's memories are stable but poor, people who can't remember what they did today or yesterday or this week, people who's childhoods are a faded blur. people who have slow greying-out amnesia that seems to just fade in and out of existence, and people who have complete blackouts, and people who have both. people who mourn the happy memories they know they've lost, who fear the bad memories they've lost that still affect them.

people who have "emotional amnesia" that makes it feel like none of their memories are their own, because there's few or no feelings attached. people who can ONLY remember the feelings from certain or even most memories, not actual events. people who's memory issues scare them or make them angry or make them miserable. people who's memory issues get them called childish or difficult or rude. who can't remember the names or faces of those they love. who are constantly forgetting the things that "you'd remember if you really cared". who misplace everything. who remember so little of their lives that they barely know who they are. people who's memory issues come from trauma/dissociation, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, brain fog/chronic fatigue, drug use, alcoholism. people who have no idea what causes their memory issues. people who's memory issues come from something else entirely.

i love you, you're strong, and you deserve support and care for what you're going through. memory issues can be frustrating and upsetting and disabling, and your suffering deserves to be recognized. whether you're soaring through recovery or are only ever going to get worse, you deserve good things in life and to live the fullest you can, regardless of how much you remember.

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[This user is prone to bad existential thoughts.]

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☆ userbox for when u see. a fisgh. ☆

reblogs appreciated | requests open

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may i request a userbox saying "this user frequently dissociates" with neutral color tones? BWEHHH THANK YOU!!!!!

“This [blank] frequently dissociates” userboxes!

emoji used is by @ghosting-emojis (aka us :3)

requests are close ;3!

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Overwhelmed userboxes

*was overwhelmed when making these so only three varieties, maybe make more later

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@evergreensys404 @dagaelizardz

More Userboxes :3

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• this user has complicated feelings about being physically disabled