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Very important and high intellectual things going on at Twitter.Com

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Blake Langerman would like to join the ranks with his green Jacket. 

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Friends with Tractors.

Why does it even exist

who cares abt favorite songs i wanna know what song you hate more than anything. like it makes you violent bc it sucks so bad. mine is shiny happy people by REM it sounds like shit

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Matthew 18:9!! 

Fun fact: the bible has “don’t slut shame/don’t rape” stories in it.

// Rape Mention 

Yes ladies and gents and everything in between or nowhere at all, the bible isn’t as oppressive as the lovely american conservatives make it out to be. Yes they LOVE quoting Leviticus and telling you that a skirt at your knees is slutty. BUT, the bible’s got some great stories in it, and my personal favorite (mostly because of the Red Tent) is the Rape of Dinah. 

And, ahem, NO, it’s not because she gets raped. I figured I’d just come out and say that becuse saying The Rape of Dinah is your favorite bible story probably goes over as well as saying WWII is your favorite historical time period, simply because of the implication.

SO

Jacob’s Twelve Sons in Genesis are like, idiots. They’re just a band of mother fucking boys will be boys idiots and I STAND by this statment as a catholic and religion student. These boys all share TWO brain cells and Joseph has them for MOST OF THE TIME. 

So, Dinah is not as well known, but she is the daughter of Jacob, and the only daughter he has. She only appears in one story–the Rape of Dinah–which is mysogenistic on its own because the only story she appears in is her rape but that’s another grudge for another day. 

BASICALLY, some dude falls in love with Dinah and kidnaps her and sexually assaults her. The 12 Bros are fucking MAD. They march up to this prince dude and are like “Hey you FUCK! You can’t DO THAT! TO OUR SISTER! If you want this marraige to be legal and not rapey in the eyes of The Lord™ then you and your entrie CITY gotta convert to judeism and castrate yourself.” 

And the prince dude was like “oh shit. oh fuck. Oh damn okay.” and he does it. Now, Castration HURTS. You’re cutting off some senestive bits off the manly bits so the boys over in the city are kinda hurting and tending their wounds. 

Now, The 12 sons are like “AHA you fools, you’ve triggered my TRAP CARD.” and they go in the night MURDER EVERYONE and take Dinah back. 

Jacob, a family man, a religious man, a very nice man, is not happy. He’s basically like “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TWELVE DO MURDER IS BAD AND THEY ARE GOING TO ATTACK AND DESTORY ALL OF US!” 

And the boys. 

They say- 

BLESS THEIR HEART 

These mother fucking boys. Sorry just man, these boys. 

I have to actually quote the bible. Their RESPONSE to this is, in Genesis 34:31, “ But they said, ‘Should our sister be treated like a whore?” 

AND THATS THE END OF THE STORY THANK YOU GOODNIGHT 

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“The opposite” isn’t exactly correct, because some of these are just facts, but I think I get what you mean by opposite. 

More things you should know about Foster Care before you write 

- Your Foster Parents can genuinely care about you and want to see you succeed 

- Your Foster Parents migtht have been foster kids who want to be the good in a child’s cruel world 

- Your Foster Parents may be better parents than the house you lived in, and this might be your oppertunity to break toxic family cycles. 

- Your Foster Parents might be just as good as your parents. 

- Your Foster Parent might take more kids than they’re comfortable taking so as not to split a family, yes even a group of four or five. 

- In order to foster kids with special needs, a foster parent needs a special liscence 

- Your Foster Parent may cry when you go home. They were your parent for a while, afterall 

- The system is broken, and some Foster Parents know that they can’t fix it, but can be the good in the broken system, and that’s enough 

- Some Foster Parents adopt their foster kids-- even the teenagers 

- A bad home isn’t the only reason why kids go into Foster Care. Foster Care is temporary housing for children’s who’s parents cannot care for them, and can include relatives, foster homes, and group homes. By this definition, Batman would have been a foster kid. 

- Sometimes it’s about the passage of time. Keep yourself busy. Learn to knit, play the guitar. Do anything to pass the time. It’ll go by faster that way. 

- Foster Parents can change your life for the better 

- You might not get along with your Foster Parent, but ulitmately your Foster Parent might just want what’s best for you, and you don’t know it yet. 

Things to know about Foster Care before you write

- It’s not always psyically/verbally abusive couples or a pervy son that watches you in the shower. Do away with those misconceptions. Some are good, some struggle, and some will treat you like a lesser human being. 

- Foster Parents can have age ranges they’re better at handling (babies, toddlers, young children, adolecents, teenagers). That doesn’t mean shit though. They recieve whoever is in need. Consider this when putting children into the house with ranging age values. 

- It’s not always the kids fault. Innocent kids without internalized truama can go into the system. The Social Workers will be suprised at children’s polietness. They may say “You don’t have to say thank you.” Don’t listen to them. If your mom taught you to say thank you, say it. 

-Kids can go into the system by mistake. 

-Parents who actually want there kids back will do anything to get them back. Even plead guilty for a child abuse charge that they were actually innocent on if it helps. There are no lines that a parent will not cross. Not a single one. 

-An 18 year old will be left homeless if the house is deemed unsafe structurally. 

-Foster Parents can treat you like a paycheck. Some of them are volunteers, but others get paid. 

-Foster Parents can treat you with the minimial amount of care. one pillow, one blanket, 7 sets of clothes that you have to wear every week. They might just say no if you ask for more because the kids at school have started to pick on you for wearing the same thing every week. 

-Foster Parents can refuse to take you to a doctor if they think you’re faking illness, even if you’re laying in bed clutching your stomach, unable to move. It’s not about whether or not you’re right, but their own belief. They have their own disposition on foster kids, and that will never be changed. 

-The abusive foster parent in the nuclear family can be the nicest one to the foster kids. This will cause moral conflict in the kids. They’ll stay up at night wondering why the only person who seemed to care about them cared so little about their own family. 

-Foster Parents can have their own children. They may just treat them better than you. You’re not really their children afterall. These children will get different privileges than you, such as staying up late, and being able to go literally anywhere that isn’t the house. 

-Foster Parents can treat you like lesser human beings. You’ll only realize this in hindsight. 

-You can call your social worker to request a new foster parent. Yes, a smart 10 year old will know to ask that question. 

-Your privileges of what you can and cannot recieve during visitations can be revoked and changed. There are ways around it. Sometimes it isn’t about keeping children safe. Sometimes it’s about control. 

-Your foster parents can lie if they are bad people. 

-Your foster parents can breach privacy and look through all of your stuff without your permission. Be honest with them if you’re hiding food. Tell them you’re hungry. 

-Anything you say is recorded in supervised visits. Children might want to lie about their Foster Parent’s nature, but the youngest one won’t understand that. They will be honest. The oldest ones might be brave, too. 

-You can make sure that your foster parents lose their lisence forever.

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The hairclips! Ugh I love it so much!!

This is everything.

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The Wetlands of Dahae by Santa Norvaisaite

Painting 3D Landscapes

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I took some historical sword-fighting lessons to make the fights in my novel more realistic - here’s what I learned.

To make the fighting scenes in my low fantasy novel more realistic, I went to see a trainer for historical sword-fighting last week, both to barrage her with questions and to develop realistic choreographies for the fight scenes in the novel. Since I figured some of what she told me might be useful for you too, I put together a small list for you. Big thanks to Gladiatores Munich and Jeanne for making time! (Here are some more pictures if you’re interested.)

Caveat: I’m by no means a sword-fighting expert myself, so take these nuggets with a grain of salt – I might have misremembered or misinterpreted some of the things Jeanne told me. If I did, feel free to tell me.

1.) Weapon choices need to make sense

Let’s start with a truism: always ensure your character’s weapons make sense for a.) their profession, b.) their cultural background and c.) the environment they’re going to fight in. A farmer probably couldn’t afford a sword and might use a knife or threshing flail instead, and someone who doesn’t want to be noticed probably wouldn’t be milling about sporting a glaive or another large weapon. Also, soldiers native to a country with wide open plains would be more likely to carry long-range melee weapons such as spears or large swords, than those from a country consisting of mostly jungle or dense forests. The same applies to situations: if your character is going to be fighting in close quarters (even just a normal house), he’d get little value out of a spear or even a longsword, as there’d be no space to swing it effectively.

2.) Boldness often beats skill

In real swordfights, recklessness was often more important than technique. The fighter less afraid of getting injured would often push harder, allowing them to overpower even opponents with better technique.

3.) Even a skilled fighter rarely stands a chance when outnumbered

While a skilled (or lucky) fighter might win a two-versus-one, it’d be extremely unlikely for even a single master swordsman to win against superior numbers, even just three and if they’re below his skill level. The only way to plausibly pull this off would be to split the opponents up, perhaps by luring them into a confined space where you could take them on one by one. The moment you’re surrounded, you’re probably done for – because, unlike in Hollywood, they wouldn’t take turns attacking but come at you all at once.

4.) Dual-wielding was a thing

… at least in some cultures. I often heard people say that people using a weapon in each hand is an invention of fiction. And while my instructor confirmed that she knew of no European schools doing this—if they did, it’s not well-documented—she said it was a thing in other cultures. Example of this include the dual wakizashi in Japan or tomahawk and knife in North America. However, one of the biggest problems with the depiction of dual wielding in novels/movies/games are the “windmill”-type attacks where the fighter swings their weapons independently, hitting in succession rather than simultaneously. Normally you’d always try hitting with both weapons at once, as you’d otherwise lose your advantage.

5.) Longswords were amazing

Longswords might seem boring in comparison to other weapons, but they were incredibly effective, especially in combat situations outside the battlefield. The crossguard allowed for effective blocking of almost any kind of attack (well, maybe not an overhead strike of a Mordaxt, but still), the pommel was also used as a powerful “blunt” weapon of its own that could crack skulls. Though they were somewhat less effective against armored opponents, the long, two-handed hilt allowed for precise thrusts at uncovered body parts that made up for it.

6.)  “Zweihänder” were only used for very specific combat situations

Zweihänder—massive two-handed swords—were only used for specific purposes and usually not in one-on-one combat as is often seen in movies or games. One of these purposes was using their reach to break up enemy formations. In fact, one type of two-handed sword even owed its name to that purpose: Gassenhauer (German, Gasse = alley, Hauer = striker)—the fighters literally used it to strike “alleys” into an enemy formation with wide, powerful swings.

7.) It’s all about distance

While I was subconsciously aware of this, it might be helpful to remember that distance was an incredibly important element in fights. The moment your opponent got past your weapons ideal range, it was common to either switch to a different weapon or just drop your weapon and resort to punching/choking. A good example of this are spears or polearms—very powerful as long as you maintain a certain range between you and your opponent, but the moment they get too close, your weapon is practically useless. That’s also why combatants almost always brought a second weapon into battle to fall back one.

8.) Real fights rarely lasted over a minute

Another truism, but still useful to remember: real fights didn’t last long. Usually, they were over within less than a minute, sometimes only seconds – the moment your opponent landed a hit (or your weapon broke or you were disarmed), you were done for. This is especially true for combatants wearing no or only light armor.

9.) Stop the pirouettes

Unfortunately, the spinning around and pirouetting that makes many fight scenes so enjoyable to watch (or read) is completely asinine. Unless it’s a showfight, fighters would never expose their backs to their opponent or even turn their weapon away from them.

10.)  It still looks amazing

If your concern is that making your fight scenes realistic will make them less aesthetic, don’t worry. Apart from the fact that the blocks, swings and thrusts still look impressive when executed correctly, I personally felt that my fights get a lot more gripping and visceral if I respect the rules. To a certain extent, unrealistic and flashy combat is plot armor. If your characters can spin and somersault to their heart’s content and no one ever shoves a spear into their backs as they would have in real life, who survives and who doesn’t noticeably becomes arbitrary. If, on the other hand, even one slip-up can result in a combatant’s death, the stakes become palpable.

That’s about it! I hope this post is as helpful to some of you as the lessons were to me. Again, if anything I wrote here is bollocks, it’s probably my fault and not Jeanne’s.  I’ll try to post more stuff like this in the future.

Cheers,

Nicolas

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As a Catholic, I’ve always accepted that because christinaity is a religion that’s central theme is forgiveness, it’s so easily manipulated because there are astounding lengths people will go to be forgiven for their own sins, which is my own theory as to why there’s so much corruption within the christian church. 

I will have what she is having

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I just want everyone to know my cat carried this gently in her mouth this morning, hopped onto my bed, set it down, and fell asleep next to me. 

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Jeff Blim being chaotic during Feast or Famine aka him scaring me for 3 minutes

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I guess we should have let Ozai dance again 

So was anyone gonna tell me that Voldy’s speech before he kills Harry was a reference to ATLA or was I supposed to watch the entire series myself

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Forbidden Love [Dungeons and Dragons] (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/L0jmgqIqR9 Yorveth "Poltergiest" Avormarrow is dead, sort of. It's complicated. He's complicated. Nobility this, archery that. Don't ask about the coffin on his back. A betrothed abandoned, but now he has to face the beautiful and obsessed aarakocra Anastasia Holle who will do anything to keep their bethrothal from falling apart. She loves him, but Geist isn't so sure this is what he wants. Things turn when they take an airship. Giest and his friends Cas, Lian, Nemul, and Dugares, and his sister Sigi, are tasked with protecting Anastasia from Priates (Skyrates as Specs calls them) when their airship crashes. Now, alone in the wilderness, the group must find a way home. And perhaps Giest and Anastasia will fall in love along the way.

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i need to raise $447 to get my license reinstated, so for every $10 i’ll be releasing yet another cursed image previously securely contained in my inbox of horrors

starting with the pic of the foot with tiny mouths

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NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite

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Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. -- 2 Corthinthians 13:11 

No justice, no peace. Black lives matter.

I saw an image of this circulating and felt the need to recreate it.