zehraxaksoy

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra smiled up at Finley as he placed her usual from Giovanni's on the table, one free hand pulling the food closer as she thanked her bodyguard. "I don't need anything else, thank you though." She nodded. She'd heard about the fight he'd gotten into but the details were blurred for her. "So.." she started off knowing she wanted to know exactly what had happened there, "wanna talk about it?"

closed to: zehra aksoy! (@zehraxaksoy ) location: wherever

"hey, i got you this." finley says as he enters the room, putting down zehra's usual on the table as he stood before her. the scene he and jordan caused back at the masquerade ball, before they found dead bodies was something they still haven't talked about. it certainly was something he has been avoiding, only focusing on his work as her security. he'd mostly been quieter than his usual self as of late, at least around her, knowing what happened hurt zehra's reputation, in a way. "is there anything else you need, z?"

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra 📲 Whitney

Whit: I wouldn't worry about it.. Whit: It'll blow over eventually, Z. Zehra: Are you sure? Zehra: The whole thing is freaking me out

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra 📲 Austin

Zehra: Okay I have like 15 songs for the album Zehra: I listened to you and kept most of the ones you heard because obviously you're right

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra 📲 Whitney

Zehra: Do I need to do one of those fake relationships again or something? Zehra: What can we do to make people talk good about me again

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra's eyes drifting over to Emmeline for a short moment at the mention of Austin before turning away quickly. The mention of his name still aching at her heart, somebody she had lost in a different way and so desperately wanted back but couldn't look past her own fears to let it happen. "Yeah, Austin is great. He takes care of me, he took care of the girls too.. he's my manger, was the manager for the band too and I don't think people understand how close you get to your colleagues.. this is effecting him a lot too." She sighed. "You showed up and that#s what matters."

all she could do was nod as emmeline received her response. so many people had died, she'd not truly made peace with miyeon's passing but she was doing her best. the greatest joss was perhaps her friendship with someone still living that she just couldn't get back. it was just something else she'd ruined. "yeah. i'm glad you've got people. austin's wonderful, came with him tonight but think i'm going to head off soon." none of this felt right.

[zehraxaksoy]

"It's just-" she huffed for a moment as she tried one more time to collect her thoughts, there was so much to say yet she could barely process it to string together a single sentence. "I am so tired of tredding on egg shells, having to let others grieve before me and how they please, even if that means sitting by as they think I killed their fucking friend or daughter. Why can't I mourn her publicly?" She spoke of Sasha first, "and then if I mourn Elena I have people asking what about Sasha? Did I not love Sasha the same? I just.. I can't win, Fin.." she was feeling deflated, defeated, she couldn't do right for wrong. "I can't go home without performing, I will be fine,. thank you though. Thank you for always being here for me."

"they're all doing it for clicks, get a reaction they want outta you, z." it's one of the many things finley picked up on while he was back in LA. it looked bad for zehra, all the gossip, not just online but worse, it town. as much as both of them, more importantly, zehra knew that the people closest to her know her more than anything one anyone else, he could only imagine how this was all affecting her. "i know, z. but you've got us, you've got me to lean on, yeah?" he sighs, patting his hand on her shoulder. "elena and sasha would've loved this." he now gives her a small, sad smile. "but...if you want out, go home...just tell me, okay?"

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra was frustrated. She was angry, annoyed. infuriated. She was beyond pissed that she of all people were having to manage her emotions so that she didn't upset others, she couldn't grieve publicly because of others. "This is so fucking annoying" she huffed with a roll of her eyes, "when those closest to Sashya are able to grieve it out? What about me? I spent ten fucking years of my life by her side am I not considered one of those closest to her? Instead I'm having to hide, stay quiet, allow people to call me a fucking murderer all because others need to grieve before me?" She knew Whitney was just trying to help her but it seemed at the moment she lashed out at those closest to her. "If I was a fucking murderer the last thing I would be doing is writing fucking side whore near her dead body knowing damn well I called her that publicly."

There was a sense of sadness Whitney could feel coming from Zehra. She'd lost two of her closest friends and bandmates within a week of each other. It couldn't have been easy, no one could've seen it coming, but it was not painting Zehra in a good light at all. With a comforting arm around the other's shoulders, Whitney nodded her head and smiled at her with a familiar warmth. "I know you didn't do anything, Zehra.. I just think it's best we let this blow over and then when the dust settles... and those closest to Sasha are able to grieve it out... then you can tell your side of the story."

[zehraxaksoy]

"They don't but they talk like they do, they say ridiculous things and act like they know me personally. They don't. They see a couple videos or pictures, they watch a few interviews and they think they know anything about me. They don't. I would never hurt either of those girls, I would never lay a single finger on them. They were my sisters. I love them. How dare they think I would ever hurt either of them." She finished her little rant and took a few deep breaths, she had a lot of built up tension that seemed to come out the moment she spoke with Finley. He was somebody she cared about, he cared for her and they understood each other. "I will try.. It'll be tough for me to get through."

"they're all dumb fucks, z, it's the media tryna poison them with lies, they don't know the truth like we do." finley couldn't help but let out an exasperated sigh, looking around as people were indeed giving the singer those stares that were motivated by something that isn't even close to the truth. zehra wouldn't do such thing to harm two of the people she loves most, and regardless of working under her for such short time, finley knows enough that the woman isn't capable to doing those things accused against her. he hated that he couldn't protect the other this way, finley just wanted to do his job right. "focus on the performance later, on what matters most, z."

[zehraxaksoy]

"Emmeline please don't apologise" Zehra sighed, a small smile on her lips before looking over at the woman. "I'm not doing great but are we really surprised? I've lost two people that I love. It'll take time but you know that better than anybody." She nodded her head, the two of them had lost people close to them and they were people they both adored. "Finley is taking care of me, he's working extra to keep an eye on me and Whitney and Austin are doing a lot for me too."

"zehra." emmeline started, knowing full well that sympathies did nothing but she couldn't help it - sasha was gone. the woman had driven the late member away before all of this and she'd never be able to repair it. "sorry that i've been rather silent." the woman outstretched her arms with the intention to take the other's hands but quickly retreated. "are you okay? that's probably the wrong word but are you... are you as safe as you can be?" @zehraxaksoy

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra took the champagne glass from him and instantly took a mouthful without saying a word. Her eyes wandering over to him after swallowing, a sigh leaving her body before finding words to say again. "I have to sing, Crue and Billie are expecting me and no matter what I do people will have a lot to say. If I sing they talk and if I back out they talk." It felt nice for the two of them to be talking again, talking without a fight creeping in.. it was how she wanted things to be, well, she wanted more but right now the two of them couldn't seem to figure that part out yet

As much as Austin wanted to reach over and take her hand, let her know that things were going to be okay, he fought the urge. He couldn't make that promise to her after what happened to Elena and Sasha, and he couldn't give in to touching her when she didn't want him to. "I would handle that for you, you know." He tried to comfort her with words instead. "That's what I'm here for, Z. I'm pretty good at fighting battles for you by now." As a waiter passed by them with a tray of champagne glasses, Austin snagged two. Offering the second one out to her, "This should help you feel a little bit better, if not a little number to it all."

[zehraxaksoy]

"I think if I take any shots I might throw up on that stage" Zehra groaned before looking over at her friends, her sister. The band had been prepared for many things over the years, media trained for all sorts of possible situations they might find themselves in but this subject was definitely not one. The murder of your band mates so close together was never a subject they touched on, being accused of being the murderer of people you called family was never something she was trained on. "It feels wrong but if we don't everybody will talk, it will only make things worse.. right?" Her eyebrow arching as she waited on some sort of words to help her guide her thought process.

conrad's masquerade ball. w / @zehraxaksoy.

rumors and whispers are well charted territories. you learn over a decade to not let them get too close, to brush all of it off under yet another ' cheap cash grab tabloid bullshit article ' compartment in the back of your mind and forget about it. the talks and shitty conspiracy theories surrounding the latest events that lead them to tonight are too different for them to fit in that pr molded response. finding zehra's the priority tonight, at least before the respects they want to pay in the performance get dissected and picked at into something they're not. ❛ hi, sweetie. think we can throw a couple shots before all this ? ❜ sure would help calm her nerves. she hasn't been next to a mic with zehra in what feels like forever ago. without two of her other anchors there . . yeah, it's a lot. ❛ you still feeling good about doing this thing ? ❜ she can only imagine it feeling tenfold for zehra. she wants to dig about how she's been handling it all, but better focus on the present, deal with the rest after.

[zehraxaksoy]

@jovilevine

"You having a good time?" Zehra asked with a small forced smile on her lips. She was trying her best to get back out there, show people she wasn't a killer like people were making her out to be. It was a struggle between losing two of her closest friends and fearing whether or not she would be next. "It's still crazy that we all show up to these things huh?"

[zehraxaksoy]

@finleypark

"This is all feels so wrong, I feel like everyone is just staring at me, I feel like they all still think I had something to do with it." Zehra's heart was pounding a million miles per hour, even if people weren't talking or looking at her she had convinced herself that they were. She had kept herself off the internet as much as she could once she saw the first headline accusing her and the comments that followed.

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra turned to look over at Whitney, a deep sigh leaving her body as she rolled her eyes. She was in a very irritable mood today, she was feeling anxious about the whole thing but she wanted to push through for her friends. "I mean the Conrad's wanted to do this for their daughter so can we really say anything?" She shrugged, "people grieve differently and I think it's nice.." her eyes darting around the room filled with people wearing masks, it was a strange theme that's for sure but she wasn't really somebody who would make a scene over the whole party. "Whit, I have nothing to hide. I didn't hurt her, I would have never hurt her, if i want to say her name I will do and they can all deal with it. I'm over the accusations."

@zehraxaksoy

Walking up with the brightest of smiles, one would think Whitney was in a fabulous mood. That she had nothing but positive things to say. But that was shortly proven very wrong when she finally spoke to the singer.

"You know, when they said oh masquerade... I thought.. stupid fucking idea and guess whaaaaat?" she asked in a sing-song tone, eyes squinting along with her forced yet natural looking, large grin. "I still think so. Please... for the love of God just perform and don't mention Sasha. No one wants to hear her name out of your mouth, especially not her family right now. So... just perform and keep it moving.." clearly stressed out from the entire ordeal, the smile she'd been sporting had long dropped and now she was on her phone, reading through messages and headlines with nothing but irritation painted across her face.

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra stayed quiet for a moment, she was feeling a little numb and her mind still clouded as she tried to process the loss of her friends. It was hard spending so many years of your life with people just for them to be gone so suddenly. She felt as though she had to uphold a certain look, a certain standard, she felt as though she wasn't allowed to show weakness at the moment yet every part of her was wanting to just break down. "I can't back out" she sighed as she looked over at him, "even if I wanted to I couldn't and you know that." Even if Austin would agree to it she would still have to battle it out with Whitney too.

@zehraxaksoy conrad masquerade ball

Conversations between Zehra and Austin had remained short and professional over the past couple of weeks after their last argument. He didn't feel he had it in him to really talk about anything that had happened, feeling defeated about every really getting the chance to save what they used to have. Still, it was hard to stay away from her once he had spotted her in the room. No matter how many times he saw her all dressed up, she still took his breath away. "You ready to do this?" The first performance since the murder of both Sasha and Elena, "Because if you want to back out, I'll let you."

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra Aksoy : Masquerade Ball

date: n/a

[zehraxaksoy]

Text 📲 Zehra

Brody: Fuck the world Zehra just do what you wanna do Brody: Ain't life too short to be worryin about what the world thinks anymore, we could be dead tomorrow Brody: Well at least our lil shithole is good for somethin. Brody: But if you ever wanna get shitfaced with an old buddy who knows the best hiding spots you know who to call Zehra: That's easier said than done Brody, life is a lot easier being back in Hidehill but the moment I go back on the road and work it changes Zehra: Well I'm hoping we're not Zehra: And I'm always down to get shit faced, especially with the shit this town throws at us