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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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Unprofessional Attraction | ONE

♡ pairing - yunho x afab!reader ♡ word count - 13K ♡ series synopsis - There's no such thing as a coincidence, right? CollegeSenior!Reader (22) and linguistics teacher Yunho Jeong (27) indulge in an entanglement of inappropriate gravitation. It's risky and it's wrong, but listening to one's better judgment never leads to anything as intoxicating. When someone threatens this secret relationship with blackmail to expose the truth, things take a turn for the worse. Graduation can't seem to come fast enough. ♡ warnings for this chapter - fluff and explicit content (mdni), slight age gap, teacher/student relationship, other members are featured, pining, some obsessive behavior and manipulation (mainly from reader), drinking alcohol, inebriated driving (big no no frens!) perverted!yunho, bigdick!yunho, sprinkles of praise, fingering, cunnilingus, unprotected sex (mention of bc pill tho), porn with plot ♡ A/N - part one is kinda tame, the next two parts will have more explicit scenes. I hope you enjoy, and please look forward to the rest! I haven't posted a fic on tumblr in many years so pls be kind ♡

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Yeosang is too attentive, especially when it comes to his best friend.

That’s why he knows you well enough to call you out when he whispers, “You’re staring again.”

“I’m staring at the whiteboard, pretty sure that’s what you’re supposed to do in class,” you argue, not bothering to even glance at him. It’s quite obvious that your eyes are too busy soaking in things that don’t have to do with phonology.

Your linguistics teacher, Yunho Jeong, is dressed particularly charmingly today. Something about the tight-fitting white polo shirt and chocolate brown slacks he has on this class is too distracting. It doesn’t help that his hair is a little more messy than usual, you wonder if he was running late this morning. Linguistics has nothing to do with your major, however, for your final semester in college, you simply needed a filler class for your last few credits. Yeosang suggested joining him in this class so you could both support each other, but he never factored in the fact that you’d be too distracted by the teacher to do anything of use for him. There weren’t many younger teachers such as Yunho at your university; in fact, you were pretty sure this was only his second semester teaching in general. He was generally a mild-mannered and easygoing teacher, but he was also able to command a room when necessary.

A minute later, Yunho offers everyone a 10-minute break since the last section of his lecture lasted a little longer than he anticipated, and the class immediately breaks out into chatter.

“He’s single, you know,” Yeosang turns towards you and props up his head on his palm, “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Don’t tell me things like that, you’ll make me delusional.”

He doesn’t miss the goofy smile tugging at your lips as you stretch your tired limbs from too much sitting. The lectures for this class were two hours long, but they were only twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays, so you couldn’t complain too much.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“That I might have a chance with him,” you nudge him playfully.

“I’m not sure he’d want to date someone barely passing his own class,” Yeosang quips quickly, subsequently squeezing his eyes shut when you flick his forehead in response.

“Watch your mouth, I am not ‘barely passing’!” You return your eyes to the subject of your conversation, slowly taking in his form, “For the record, I could definitely pull him if I tried to. You think he likes younger women?”

“That is a terrible idea,” your best friend immediately shakes his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Surely I would be guaranteed to pass then though, no?” you offer instead, half-joking.

“You haven’t gotten laid in the last month and this is the first person that comes to your mind to fix that?” Yeosang scoffs incredulously.

“I wouldn’t just be in it for the sex,” you clarify. Your keen eyes watch his every move, from the way that his large hands flex as he thumbs at his phone to the way he purses his lips in curiosity at whatever he’s looking up. Like a lion stalking a gazelle before pouncing. “He’s quite literally perfect. Tall, smart, handsome, financially stable… the whole package. I deserve a man like that, right Yeo?”

You meet Yeosang’s eyes curiously, and he reminds you, “I think you’re forgetting he’s our teacher .”

“We graduate soon,” you whine, “Act now, worry later. I could graduate with a boyfriend already lined up the minute I get handed my degree.”

“You’re playing with fire, ____,” he holds his hands up in surrender. As your best friend, he knows you’re not joking, despite how much you might play it off later. He knows that once you set your mind on something, you generally don’t stop until it’s achieved, “Let’s see you try, though. It’ll be entertaining.”

When class resumes, you listen to the rest of his lecture with renewed cravings and an unusually optimistic disposition Yeosang has never seen you hold for this subject.

From that moment forward, every instance you “stumbled” across your teacher was planned. You figured out which parking lot he parked his car on during the day and bought a proper parking pass for that lot, now alternating between taking the shuttle and your car to the university. Your schedules crossed occasionally on your driving days, and you’d simply offer warm greetings or cheerful send-offs depending on the time of day. Yunho was a man of habit who visited the same campus restaurant nearly every day he worked during lunchtime in between his midday classes. It didn’t take much energy to stop by a couple of days a week and run into Yunho, giving you the ability to strike up a conversation or two when asking for recommendations on what you should order. These instances were simply to put you more on his radar, instead of just being a face in the sea of students in his class.

He seems to be good friends with two other teachers who are also around his age, teachers Seonghwa Park and San Choi. You wonder if getting in their good graces would somehow transfer to your teacher, by word of mouth. Luckily, you have a friend who has Mr. Park for a history seminar. On a Sunday night, you shoot a text to set the stage.

[Y/N: Jongho!!!! It’s been so long since we’ve hung out :(( Can I swing by your class tomorrow and pick you up? Let’s get lunch!]

When 2 PM rolls around on Monday, you make the mistake of trusting the shuttle to come on time. It’s nearly 3 PM when you get to the necessary building, and you’re sure Jongho’s class ended close to half an hour ago. The plan to run across Mr. Park is thrown completely out of the window, you are only worried about Jongho being upset with you. You know he’d never, but still. Being late to something planned ahead of time always upsets you to no end. You curse at yourself over and over every stride down the hall, and it’s good that the hallways are virtually empty or else you’d probably look crazy. Eventually, you make it to your destination.

You’re just about to blindly call out an apology to Jongho but end up stopping dead in your tracks as soon as you enter the door; not only is Mr. Park in the room seated at his desk, but he’s also accompanied by Mr. Choi and Mr. Jeong. They’re huddled together, Yunho leaning against the whiteboard leisurely with a cup of coffee in his hand while intently listening to Seonghwa complain about the registrar’s office fucking up another one of his student’s enrollment for his class.

“There she is,” Jongho sighs this aloud as if his prayers have been answered.

He didn’t know if you were going to still make it and he’s dying of hunger from skipping breakfast. Immediately, all three men’s eyes turn towards the entrance. You pray to God that your face isn’t flushed with how hot you feel being the fixation of so many eyes. Or maybe it’s more so how handsome the men are that those eyes are coming from. This surely isn’t the time to have such a weakness for a strapping man in a button-up and crisp slacks.

“Hello, ____,” Yunho is the first of the three to speak. Subsequently, San amiably nods toward you in acknowledgment.

“Good afternoon all,” you greet everyone, bashfully adding, “I’m so sorry for interrupting.”

“Not interrupting at all,” Seonghwa waves his hands, dispelling those fears, “We were curious why Jongho was sticking back so late. He assured us a friend was coming to get him and we just chose not to leave him.”

Well, this is embarrassing. You nod hastily and glance toward Jongho, who is practically skipping down the lecture hall’s steps. Yunho wants to crack a joke about seeing you everywhere, about how you both must be magnets or something else silly, but he decides to keep that to himself. He doesn’t want it to seem like he’s keeping track of course, even if he is.

Instead, he affirms to the other men, “This is a student of mine.”

Admittedly, your ears had tuned every other word out except “mine”, and you nodded a little too enthusiastically. You haven’t been this discomposed in a long time, too bashful to look any of them in the eyes, and you pray it’s not showing too much elsewhere. Jongho’s friendly hand landing on your shoulder grounds you.

“You ready?”

“Absolutely,” you puff out.

“Don’t cause too much trouble for her, Jongho,” Seonghwa pokes a bit of fun at one of his top students, who replies by waving him away and scoffing. They seem to be relaxed with each other— this is something you desire to achieve with Yunho soon. You snatch up your friend’s hand and finally move to leave for lunch, if it could even be considered that now with how late it is.

“See you Wednesday, Mr. Jeong,” you look back and shoot him a wave, accompanied by a charming smile. He nods back, offering you his own as well.

Unbeknownst to you, San’s eyes follow you out the door with Jongho, especially surveying the plush of your thighs rubbing together as you walk. Such as yourself, skirts are surely a weakness of his.

“She’s a senior, right?” he murmurs, half-jokingly.

“Stop it,” Yunho promptly elbows San in the arm, earning a stifled laugh from Seonghwa.

Yunho has heard stories about San’s slight affinity with the pretty college women when he goes out to bars on the weekends. Nobody from his own classes, of course. Needless to say, Yunho would not let him even think about you that way. No way in hell.

“I was just asking, Jesus.”

Seonghwa stretches his limbs from his chair, “It’s never ‘just asking’ with you.”

“You buy a table of women drinks one time and your friends never let you hear the end of it,” he groans with a roll of his eyes, “God you guys are the worst.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s what it is,” Seonghwa concedes sarcastically.

“Just don’t make any unannounced visits to my classroom anytime soon, you buffoon,” Yunho chastises him while pressing his cup to his lips, “And I’m serious.”

“You got that,” San yields, “Wouldn’t wanna be a cock-block.”

Yunho nearly spits his coffee, “I beg your pardon?”

San nearly doubles over in laughter and, to Yunho’s surprise, Seonghwa has joined in. He doesn’t particularly enjoy the look they’re sharing and it makes the back of his neck burn with heat. Yunho doesn’t know why he’s so embarrassed but he steers the conversation away from discussing you any further. He ignores the feeling of indignation and possessiveness pooling in the pit of his stomach.

It doesn’t take long for you to decide you’ve done what needed to be done outside of the classroom; the cherry on top now was simply to get him alone more privately.

You didn’t have to try very hard for this to happen; your work on your paper outline was already sub-par at best. You did fairly well on the quizzes and packets he passed out once a week, but that final paper preparation was surely going to be a challenge. When you find enough courage in yourself to email him about seeing him during his office hours for extra academic help on formatting your paper and choosing a more concise topic, he replies quickly and enthusiastically. According to your syllabus, the topic should relate to what you’re studying for your degree, but the real meat and potatoes of the paper should incorporate an aspect of linguistics in relation to your career path. Yunho understands how something like this can be difficult to tackle, so he assures you not to worry and that you both will work on perfecting it in no time.

“Mr. Jeong, do you mind if I text you instead? It’s more convenient for me than to email,” you end up asking him at the end of class on a Friday.

Yunho doesn’t mind this and he says so; he's put his phone number on the syllabus for situations like this. Moreover, he doesn’t think anything of it when he receives a text from you the morning of your first session telling him good morning and saying that you’re excited to finally get some guidance. You follow up by asking how he likes his coffee, and if he prefers muffins or donuts. Even after this indicator, he’s still surprised that you show up at his office right on time at 10 AM on Monday with two fresh cups of coffee and a couple of things from the campus bakery.

His office is fairly small, but not enough to feel uncomfortable. He’s decorated it to his liking though to make it feel a little more homely on the days he has to stay late for one reason or another. He watches you marvel at his space before you set down everything in your hands and relieve yourself of your backpack.

“Good morning!”

“Good morning ____, welcome in,” Yunho smiles. “You’re very punctual.”

“Of course, I meant what I said about being excited,” you tell him honestly, settling into the seat in front of his desk, “The right one is yours, by the way.”

Yunho timidly thanks you before sliding it closer to himself. He’s never had a student do something for him like this, then again he hasn’t been teaching that long to begin with. Regardless, he appreciates it and the gesture goes straight to his heart. He takes a sip to emphasize this.

“I’m all ready when you are,” you proclaim, clasping your hands together.

With that, he begins to look through his folders for your class number and finds the topic idea and outlines you’ve submitted previously. He doesn’t even have to look for your name specifically, you always tend to write his name and your class section in a particular way on the top of your work that is very appealing and oddly unique.

“You have really pretty handwriting,” Yunho murmurs out absentmindedly when he finds it. When he lifts his head to see your intrigued eyes gazing back at him, he clears his throat and adds, “Mine looks like chicken scratch so I’m always fascinated by others.”

“As long as it’s legible, that’s all that matters,” you hum with a smile, “And I can read yours just fine, so you’re fine.”

Yunho’s not sure why that mild compliment, something that should probably be insignificant, steals his words from him for a moment. Instead, he offers a hum in place of thanks while quickly taking another sip of his coffee. He glances at his notes before speaking again.

“Okay, so when I reviewed your work, it seems like you generally have a solid topic,” he begins, “It’s definitely something that can be a bit more concise, but it’s fine. The problem is that you’re trying to incorporate too much into the paper as a whole.”

You nod in understanding, so he takes a sip of coffee and continues.

“That’s good and bad, for a couple of reasons. It’s good that you’re being ambitious and trying to give lots of information. This shows me that you’re planning on doing a lot of research and you’re going to be very knowledgeable about your topic,” Yunho cocks his head, “If you set yourself up like this, though, your paper will end up being over twenty pages easily. And we both don’t want that, right?”

He gives you a knowing look, and you can’t help the candid snort you let out at his frankness, “Definitely not, oh God. I’m so sorry.”

“Precisely. So, let’s work on cutting some of these sections out and conjoining some of these bullet points in others. Sound good?” He holds out his hand with a grin as if to make it a deal, and you grant him a firm shake.

After a considerable amount of time figuring out which parts of your paper to chop without losing the vision, Yunho feels his limbs tighten from sitting too long. He’s been in this chair since 9 AM, so he asks, “Can we take a quick break? I need to stretch a bit.”

“Of course!”

When he stands to full height and stretches his arms, your eyes inconspicuously survey the way the edge of the desk lines up right with his pelvis. Perfect height for extracurricular activities… You wonder if he’s the type of guy to be open to something like that, fucking his lover in his office. Surely this thing is sturdy enough to withstand it, you muse. The thought of him bending you over the desk just to prove how sturdy it is makes you rub your thighs together. You decide to chug the rest of your now-cold coffee to get your brain back on track. Yunho collapses back into his office chair gently and lets you know he’s ready to resume. The rest of the time is spent setting up a list of some things you could tweak when you go home on your own and prepare for him to view in a couple of days.

On Wednesday, for your second meeting, you both convene at his office directly after your class with him in the afternoon. You smell especially good today, a mix of jasmine, vanilla, and something else he can’t put his tongue on… but it’s got Yunho’s head a bit foggy. Still, the meeting is engaging and brimming with useful help just as the last. Leaning back in his chair, he takes a brief moment to review a printout of what you’ve implemented into your outline from your last meeting discussions. It’s definitely already an improvement, but there are still a few things that could be tweaked in terms of sectioning. He grabs his favorite pen and lays your papers out in front of you, leaning forward to mark things you should be mindful of. A circle here, a quick jotted note there—his soothing voice explains each eagerly, and you can tell just how much he loves this subject by his enthusiasm. You reply to all of his criticism and suggestions with just as much enthusiasm. Yunho finds himself leaning in a little closer than might be suitable for the circumstances, but his brain is still ensnared by your perfume. He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, truthfully, but it doesn’t bother you a bit. In fact, you’re a little too enamored with watching his large hands grip his pen and flex while writing to notice he’s calling your name.

“____?” he calls for a second time, to which you finally meet his gaze while blinking bashfully. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry, I think I spaced out for a second,” you answer honestly. He is absolutely too close to you right now and the way you can see the details in his eyes is making your brain short-circuit. He finally sits back in his chair and chuckles warmly.

“We have been working for quite a while today, I’m sure it’s a lot of information. Maybe we should wrap up for the day and meet again next week? I’m a bit tied up on Friday,” he ponders. You can’t help the hint of disappointment that makes its way onto your face, and he notices. There’s this unusual feeling in his chest right now; why does he feel regret for his stupid schedule? He leans forward on his elbows and cocks his head, “You’re doing very well, you know that? We’ve made a lot of progress after only a couple of meetings. I’m very excited to see how this comes together at the end of the semester.”

“I’m very self-conscious about my writing, so I appreciate that, Mr. Jeong,” you confess with a sheepish smile.

“You have nothing to be stressed about, I love what I’ve seen so far,” he continues his praise, “And I’m very happy you’re in my class, ____.”

The smile he gives you after such a statement manifests dozens of butterflies in your stomach, and you can’t help but match it. These one-on-one sessions go on 2-3 days a week for about two more weeks, loosening him up to you. He successfully becomes much more casual and unfiltered in your presence before you decide to up the ante. The following Tuesday of the next week, you remain on campus fairly late after classes end for the day, seated on a bench near the parking lot you both share. It’s warm outside even with the sun gradually setting, and you spend the time mentally rehearsing exactly what you planned on saying when he arrives to leave for home. He should be here any minute now–

“_____?”

You spin around at the familiar voice calling out your name. It’s him, of course, coming from the staff meeting you found out was being held this evening. Finally , you think. He stops just short of where you’re perched on the bench.

“Oh, hello Mr. Jeong.”

“What are you doing out here so late?” He inquires quickly, and there’s a tinge of concern laced in his voice. However, he realizes that asking this might be out of the realm of things he should know, you’re a grown woman after all. So, he follows up with an excuse, “It’s getting pretty dark out.”

“It’s a bit embarrassing,” you mutter, glancing away from his gaze.

Yunho can’t deny, he’s a bit mesmerized by the way you look tonight. He’s never seen you with your make-up done up like this, or your hair styled so charmingly. When you glance back at him again with those long, fluttering lashes of yours, he feels the back of his neck turn hot.

“You can tell me anything, you already know,” he reminds you, “I won’t judge and I’m always available to listen.”

“Well… I have a reservation for dinner with someone at six… but it seems they stood me up,” you reveal while mindlessly fiddling with a frayed string on the skirt of your dress. Yunho glances down at his watch: it’s 5:48 PM. “They were supposed to pick me up a while ago. I was trying to hold out some hope, but… I’m just being stupid.”

Yunho furrows his brows; why would someone stand a girl like you up? You’re beautiful and exceptionally smart (despite any kind of trouble you may have had with your paper). You’re also one of the sweetest people he’s ever crossed paths with in life. Many of those paths having been crossed within the last month, of course. Still, he can’t fathom it.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, ____,” he tells you truthfully. Then, he thinks about how your car isn’t here, and how the shuttle won’t be around until 6:30 PM. He’s slightly apprehensive before offering, “Do you want a ride home?”

You give him a winsome smile that pierces into his heart with an invisible arrow, “You don’t have to do that. I appreciate the offer though.”

“No, really, I don’t mind at all,” he says with more confidence. The idea of him being your knight in shining armor, buried deep in the back of his head, is shouting at him. That’s when you decide it’s time to take your shot, for better or worse.

“Well, in that case, would you like to accompany me to the restaurant instead?” you inquire, glancing up at him curiously. “I already paid for the spot, so I wouldn’t want the reservation to go to waste.”

Normally, you’d follow up a statement like that with a: “But it’s okay if not.”

Not tonight.

You didn’t want to give him an out to this proposal willingly. You can see the mild indecisiveness in his face anyway, all the way down to how Yunho’s hand tightens around the handle of his briefcase. You did get all dolled up for whoever you were supposed to be spending the evening with, and he’ll feel awfully bad letting you go back home to take it all off for no reason. It’s just a dinner, he tells himself.

“Sure,” Yunho finally says in an exhale, “Let me pull around my car.”

While he walks off into the parking lot towards his car, you bite down hard on your bottom lip to stop the dishonest smile that’s threatening to spread across your face. Was it all a bald-faced lie? Of course it was! But, sometimes it takes some white lies to get to what you want, and what you wanted was no longer that far out of reach if tonight was anything to go by.

When he finally pulls around to pick you up, you allow yourself to slip into the mode you usually go to on dates. It doesn’t hurt to pretend tonight, it’s like manifesting your reality. You thrum your fingers against your bare thighs, to no particular beat, while staring out of the car window at other passing cars during your brief trip on the highway.

“Is this a restaurant you’ve been to before? It looked really nice online,” Yunho eventually says into the silence, trying to make small talk. He had briefly skimmed the reviews while plugging the address in on his phone.

“I haven’t, actually,” you divulge, going further, “I’m a bit of a foodie, you know? I like to try new places occasionally.”

That conversation flows smoothly for the rest of the drive, and even smoother when you both are seated and eating dinner in a booth towards the back of the restaurant. It’s nice to see him in a more relaxed setting.

“Thank you for joining me tonight, Mr. Jeong.” You offer him some well-deserved gratitude as you wipe your mouth, signaling the end of your eating. “Makes things a lot less embarrassing tonight for sure.”

“No need to thank me, I enjoyed your company,” he smiles. He doesn’t even hesitate this time before adding, “That bastard doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

The bubbly laugh and adorable smile you grant him the experience of witnessing enraptures him, the tips of his ears burning at the thought of how he wants to be able to produce that from you again and again. Yunho hasn’t been on a date in a while, so he’s sure this feeling is just because he’s attention-deprived. Still, it’s something he notes mentally. And, even though some might consider it inappropriate, you and your teacher both began having dinner occasionally, just like that. Platonically, of course.

“We can go over my questions for my paper topic here rather than in that cramped office of yours, you know?”

Surprisingly when you proposed this, he showed little resistance to the idea. Yunho enjoyed getting out of the house for the evenings he usually spent alone with a few beers and a Netflix series. He enjoyed having a pretty girl keep him company even more. He reminds himself every time he picks you up, though, that this is simply work and nothing more. Just some overtime—helping a student who enjoyed his class get better at the material. It’s not meant to be enjoyable.

But after the first few times of these “informational paper related” meetings, conversations involving anything to do with linguistics slowly molded into Yunho placing a nimble finger to his lips to say a silent shhh, followed by, “Let’s not talk about schoolwork tonight, okay?”

That moment, when you noticed that slight shift in Yunho’s energy, the atmosphere from there turned more informal. You become more conscious of those important invisible lines between student and teacher— or even more teacher and friend— that have begun to blur significantly. “Good evening Mr. Jeong,” became, “Le’me taste your food, Yunho?”

To which he never declines, naturally.

Tonight, on the 5th dinner, the climate between you both plows further into the downward spiral of informality, warm and fairly flirtatious. At least, that’s what you surmise by the way he keeps openly teasing you this evening. It’s all innocuous banter, but that doesn’t quell the adoration you hold for him in the pit of your stomach. It’s enough to make your thighs clench together underneath the table. You finally decide to shamelessly reciprocate, teasing him about the way his hair is going every which way tonight. You emphasize how the style is still very handsome despite him looking like he’s been through hell and back.

“I was having a pretty bad day today until I remembered where I was going tonight actually,” Yunho divulges, pushing the wrinkly sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. He truly has been through hell and back today, between snooty older teachers and idiot freshmen both treating him like he’s a student just because of his age, “These kinds of nights with you always make my day, so it’s been saved.”

A playful smile tugs at your lips as you cock your head, “Is it the food or is it the company?”

He leans forward on his forearms with a prepossessing smile, one that makes your heart thump loudly in your ears.

“Both, of course,” he teases again, “I suppose the food is just a bonus, though.”

He takes notice of the way your cheeks are dusted in crimson as you shyly avert your eyes and locks that innocent image into a deep chamber of his mind along with all the others. He practically has a photo album saved mentally. It’s not too long until the food comes, and things become all about eating. A fair amount of time into your dinner, you decide to add a new element to your dynamic.

“Do you mind if I drink a little tonight?” you inquire quietly while your eyes skim the wine menu briefly. Not like you were going to care about his answer, but it was simply fun to ask. He chuckles.

“You’re an adult,” he points out instead. You smile to yourself before meeting his eyes from behind the menu. There’s something especially curious tonight behind those dark irises of his. The unfamiliar stare he gives you from behind his bangs is accompanied by a subtle smirk that makes your stomach tie into tight knots.

You turn away your eyes until you’re able to catch the attention of your waiter once more. In the process of requesting a glass of some Cabernet Sauvignon, you hesitate before saying the name of which brand because of the price tag for one glass, but most risks are pricey and tonight you felt like splurging for the reward in return: releasing your inhibitions. The waiter turns towards Yunho to confirm if he’d like to add anything before he leaves.

“Bring a bottle of that instead, please. We’ll share,” he requests alternatively. It takes all of your strength not to look at him like he’s crazy as the waiter nods and heads off to fetch it.

“It’s on me tonight,” Yunho beats you to the punch on declaring anything about his decisions.

“You don’t even know the price of it.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he quips back with a chuckle, “Are you suggesting I can’t afford it?”

“Yunho…”

“Don’t even give me that, ____.”

The way he blithely says your first name with a different warmth now always causes your heart to swell in your chest. All formality is truly gone between you two. You both share matching smiles in place of any further words about the matter.

When the waiter returns briefly with a freshly opened bottle of wine and two glasses, you both offer him words of gratitude before he slips away once more. Yunho wastes no time pouring you both a proper amount, sighing contently when finished. You lift your glass towards him and grin once more, “Cheers?”

“Cheers.”

Yunho surely got his money’s worth, because the bottle is gone between you both quickly, signaling the end of your dinner as well. You don’t feel the few glasses fully set in until Yunho is helping you out of the booth, your legs feeling akin to a newborn baby deer as you bashfully stumble into his arms. You suppose your food wasn’t as carb-heavy as usual tonight. You’re not drunk, but surely you’re not sober either. He doesn’t mind holding you steady on the way out of the restaurant, a guiding hand timidly pressed to the small of your back.

As much as you despise the thought of driving under the influence, it’s pouring an insane amount of rain upon exit of the restaurant and Yunho insists he’s fine enough to drive. The dilemma that arises is how your place is further than he has confidence in making it to in this storm while inebriated. You know just as well as he does that there’s no way he’s driving you home tonight.

“I have a spare bedroom,” he begins, and glances over at you, hoping you understand what he means because he’s not sober enough to come up with the words to ask you otherwise. The pouring water is making it hard for him to keep his eyes open but he doesn’t miss the feigning look of indecision in your eyes. He tries to ignore the way the rain has soaked through your dress enough to make it plaster your body. It accentuates every contour of your figure, from the rounds of your breasts down to your supple thighs. When the boom of thunder somewhere far off fills the silence after his proposal faster than you do, he panics slightly.

“I can get you an Uber if—”

“You already paid for an expensive bottle tonight, don’t waste more money on an Uber,” you grasp onto his arm fondly, sopping breasts squished into his bicep. Your lips curl into a soft smile at his attempt at chivalry though, “I’ll be fine. Let’s hurry though, okay? I’m cold.”

That statement is followed by a sharp shiver running down your back, and that’s enough for him to drag you along with him to his car with quick, but careful, steps.

Surprisingly, Yunho lives in a townhouse. You’re very thankful not to have to walk up the stairs of a condo. He thanks God there’s an empty parking space in front of his house, he hates when the tiny lot fills up before he gets home. You both prepare yourselves before rushing out of the car and to his front door.

Your hazy eyes train themselves on his pretty, slender fingers fiddling with the doorknob before he finally gets it open. Those same fingers grab your hand and pull you through his front door with him mindlessly. Another chill immediately runs down your spine at the cool AC blasting through his home, which he immediately runs off to turn down.

“Both bedrooms have bathrooms with showers,” Yunho sputters while quickly heading off to find you a towel and some spare clothes for which you could sleep in.

While you’re still peeling your drenched shoes and socks off, he settles on a fresh t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants since it’s still a bit chilly in the house. You try not to track too much water through his home while you journey through his living room and meet him halfway.

“I’ll shower in the guest room,” you tell him, taking the items.

He runs an anxious hand through the wet hair sticking to his forehead, “I can also dry your clothes if you leave them on the bed.”

“Fuck, that’s great,” you sigh with a smile, stepping past him but cocking your head back to add, “Wait about five minutes before you come grab them, I should be in the shower by then.”

Just as you requested, Yunho comes into the room a little over five minutes later when he hears the shower running. His eyes confirm that the bathroom door is closed for your privacy before grabbing your wet clothes and retreating to his laundry room down the hall. He chucks them all in his dryer and runs it on medium heat and maximum dryness. While that’s running, he busies himself with running to his bedroom and speedrunning his shower to ensure he’s out before you. He’s a man on a mission, pulling on clothes and towel-drying his hair before rushing to the laundry room to get your clothes.

Yunho pulls your garments from the dryer one by one, making sure there’s nothing left wet. He stops when he pulls something out that catches his eyes. Your underwear. He’s quite enticed by them, even if they were pastel pink with turtles... Hot, he thinks sarcastically. Yunho eyes the crotch curiously and remembers that technically he didn’t wash your clothes at all. It’s been a while since he’s had a girl over his home and that, on top of the thought of even holding your underwear, is taking a small toll on him. He gives in and puts them to his nose, breathing in deeply.

Oh God … Even after they've been soaked in rain, your scent is still heavy on the fabric. He groans, why did you have to smell so fucking good? He remembers that you are quite literally right down the hall while he's here sniffing your underwear like a pervert. It’s your fault, right? Yeah, it’s your fault for trusting him with such a sensitive piece of clothing by himself. It’s your fault for smelling so good and looking so pretty and—

He gives up on rationalizing it and presses the clothing fully onto his face again, inhaling heavily and feeling himself grow harder and harder by the second. His arousal grows worse and worse, precum dampening his underwear with every deep inhale and fluttering thought of what you probably taste like… He finds his hand mindlessly palming himself, and luckily his groans are muffled by the underwear bunched up in his face. That’s when he hears the water shut off.

Yunho whispers a handful of obscenities as he hurries to the room to place your dried clothes on the bed while you’re still in the bathroom, closing the door behind him softly. He’s long gone by the time you step out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

Normally, you’d stay in the shower until your fingertips are pruney, but you suppose being a good guest includes not using up all of his hot water. There were more pressing things to attend to anyway, like the tall attractive man patiently awaiting your presence outside of this room. So, when you tug on your now dry panties and his previously provided clothing, you quickly make your way out of the room and to the living room. You’re not exactly sure what you expected upon seeing him, but he’s indeed still exceptionally handsome freshly out of the shower. Those same curious eyes gaze at you behind his shaggy bangs, still in the process of drying. Clad in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, his biceps and strong thighs are fully on display as he lounges on the couch. The way his long legs are man-spread now that he’s comfortable in his own abode makes you swallow a little harder than usual. Still, you meander over and sit on the other side of the couch, not too far away.

“Your place is very nice,” you state absentmindedly, glancing around at the walls of his home. “Very fit for a bachelor.”

Without you noticing, Yunho’s eyes skillfully study the way you’re so casually in his clothing. You’re too busy glancing around at unnecessary things anyway; he wonders if you’re rambling about his decor because you’re nervous. He’s nervous too, but not for the right reasons. Regardless, seeing you in his clothing is taking an additional toll on his mental health. How did you both end up in this situation together… This is wrong, he thinks. He shakes his head to try and clear those corrupted thoughts from his mind. It isn’t until you realize he hasn’t replied to anything in a couple of minutes of you jabbering that you finally peer over at him. His eyes are trained on the short distance between the both of you, mindlessly chewing on the nail of his thumb.

“You okay?” you ask, finally catching his attention.

He nods hastily, “Definitely. Sorry, it’s been a long day. Mind is on empty.”

“You’re fine, no worries.”

It’s uncomfortably quiet for a moment as you both exchange stares. You’re seconds away from breaking the silence before Yunho steals the chance.

“I’m sure you’re tired, so we can head to bed,” he suddenly exhales, hands clasping his thighs, “The guest room is all yours for as long as you need it.”

You take the chance and lean forward toward him on your palms at this statement, slightly sinking into the couch while you gaze at him, “Is that what you really want, Yunho?”

There’s now an even longer moment of silence where you both stare each other in the eyes again and the room is unbearably quiet. Yunho finally breaks it after his Adam’s apple bobs uneasily.

“Of course,” he awkwardly chuckles with furrowed brows, “What do you mean, ____?”

Your heart deflates. For a second, you wonder if maybe you’ve been reading his body language incorrectly the entire night. There’s a flare of embarrassment that ignites on your cheeks as you immediately retract yourself.

“I suck at making jokes,” you match his chuckle nervously, “Don’t mind me.” He cocks his head at you curiously and you stand to your feet before he can catch the way your face is lighting on fire with every passing second. You avoid looking at him as you begin striding back to the guest room, “Goodnight Yunho, see you in the morning!”

Yunho is left alone to his own devices once he hears the sound of the door to the guest room closing down the hall. Sitting alone on a large bed in your teacher’s home feels surreal, and all too disappointing the same. You press your palms to your eyes to try and settle the embarrassment that keeps washing over you every time you think back to your impromptu attempt at making an advance toward him. God this fucking sucks…

After a few minutes of setting up some alarms on your phone for the next morning, you decide you need to go get some water and wash away tonight from your mind forever. Yunho Jeong doesn’t like you more than a friend, it’s time to accept your fate and that you failed at attracting him. To be fair, it all was a shot in the dark to begin with. You try not to be too hard on yourself and hope that he’s already in his room by now.

But, if that’s all truly the case, then why is Yunho standing in front of the guest room door when you open it? His arm is positioned as if he was about to knock. Yunho had been standing there for quite some minutes, debating his next actions in his head, overthinking as usual. Though, could it be considered overthinking if the consequences of his actions could lead to delinquency? Had you not opened the door to go get water, albeit unknowingly, he probably would’ve psyched himself out.

“Oh– Did you need something?” you mumble and look up inquisitively at him. His mouth lingers open for a few seconds before he learns how to speak again.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course.” You can’t help the hint of confusion gracing your face as you step aside and allow him inside the room, “Is everything okay?”

When you close the door and face him, he looks distraught. Everything was indeed not okay.

“Are you still drunk?” He asks first.

“I don’t really think I was ever drunk,” you tell him, “But no.”

“Neither am I.”

At first, it doesn’t click about why he’s confirming this. You also don’t notice the way he gradually takes tentative steps forward—or the way you’re equally taking steps back—until your back hits the bedroom door. He’s so close that you can smell the minty mouthwash still fresh on his breath unfurling over your face. Still, he looks hesitant about his actions.

“I’m sorry, I was just… nervous before,” he swallows. He watches your face shift from confusion to realization; he’s referring to his response when you shot your shot. You relax against the door.

“About?” Is all you can ask in a soft voice, left hand daringly reaching up and cupping his cheek.

“About drunken words,” he continues, his voice just above a whisper. You can see the stutter of his heart against his chest. “And my feelings.”

Your thumb brushes his bottom lip, “What are you feeling, Yunho?”

In a moment of fleeting courage, he gently grabs your right hand and leads it to settle below his groin, pressing it against him a bit for good measure.

“What does it feel like I’m feeling to you?”

Your cheeks heat up at the feeling of him in your palm; you didn’t expect him to be so forward about it out of nowhere. The overall anticipation of the situation is killing you, even though everything feels like it’s moving too slowly and too fast all at the same time. All of your effort was leading to this point and yet, somehow, you still don’t feel nearly as prepared as you thought you were to finally fuck him, to finally fuck your teacher. That doesn’t stop your cunt from clenching around nothing at all at his words alone, because this is definitely what you’ve wanted so badly for weeks.

You try to swallow even though your throat feels parched, mindlessly whispering, “Oh my God…”

Then, you give him an experimental squeeze which has his eyelids fluttering closed, and a deep grunt leaving his flared nostrils.

“Fuck …” he groans. It’s too natural, the way you subconsciously run your hand up and down the bulge, feeling it harden even further. Yunho is at his wit's end. “I need you to tell me exactly what you want ____,” he reminds you.

You get it, he’s covering his bases because of his relation to you outside of this bedroom. Consent is sexy regardless, so you grant that to him.

“I really, really want you to fuck me Yunho,” you purr as your hands creep up his chest until you can wrap your arms around his neck, “And I think you want the same, right?”

Yunho’s hands sneak under the t-shirt on you and he massages the flesh of your sides, fingertips ghosting up your skin until they reach your breasts. His thumbs brushing against your hard nipples involuntarily make you whimper his name, and this is all Yunho needs to hear to proceed without such caution. The moment he leans down and smashes his lips to yours, time stops.

It’s nasty, the way your tongues are dragging against each other, spreading trails of saliva everywhere.

It’s nasty, the way he can’t help but drag that same tongue down your neck, sullying your freshly washed skin with spit.

It’s even nastier, the way he moans out your name, shamelessly grinding his clothed boner into your crotch, searching for friction because he’s touch-starved.

“A-Ah—wait! Bed, please,” you let out a broken moan at the way he sucks and bites on your neck. Yunho grunts in agreement, spinning you around and forcefully guiding you back until you both reach the bed. You can’t help but giggle when you fall back on the mattress— he’s so hungry for it, for you. And you’re more than ready to give it to him.

“Can I take them off?” He still asks like a gentleman, though his fingers are impatiently already tugging at the bottom of your sweatpants. You nod with fervor.

The moment he tosses them away, the situation begins to feel a bit more real to you both. Maybe it’s because you’re sopping wet and semi-exposed, and he’s not, so you become bashful and self-conscious.

“Take yours off too?”

Yunho doesn’t hesitate to oblige you. He peels off his shirt and shoves his shorts away easily. There’s a brief second where he hesitates before also pulling his boxer briefs down and finally fully exposing himself to you in all his nude glory. Yunho hasn’t slept with a woman in a while, but he’s never had complaints about anything, and especially not his size. He can tell by how your eyes are drinking him in, that you won’t have any either.

“You’re so handsome, you know that?” you murmur, eyes hazy as they rake over him from his broad chest to his defined abs, then his defined hips to his heavy cock. There’s a cute hue of pink dusting his cheeks at the compliment.

Yunho doesn’t give you a chance to stare at him very much longer before he’s finally ridding you of your shirt, lips meeting yours again the moment it’s tossed. It’s not long before that naughty mouth of his indulges in your breasts, licking and sucking on your hardened nipples like they’re the only thing that will keep him grounded to earth. You’re a moaning mess underneath of him, hands carding through his tresses and lips struggling with telling him how much you love his mouth. He could suck on your beautiful breasts all day but there are more pressing matters at this time.

His eyes never leave yours as he kisses all the way down the expanse of your stomach to the waistband of your panties. Only then does he close his eyes to bury his face in your clothed cunt and take a deep breath, filling his lungs until they feel like they're about to burst. He’s so content that now he can do it knowing the real thing is right underneath. It gets him hard all the same as the laundry room. You watch him grind himself into the mattress for some relief just at the smell of you.

“I’ve never done something like this before,” he divulges, pressing heated kisses into the skin of your sensitive thighs.

“What, eating pussy?” you tease to ease his nerves. He stares pointedly at you from behind your mound.

“You know what I mean.”

Your hand reaches down to find a comforting purchase in his hair, “Neither have I, Yu.”

Yunho can feel himself falling apart faster and faster, and the nickname is not helping him keep it together at all. He hooks his fingers in your panties and gently tugs them down your legs, joining the rest of the discarded clothing on the floor. Your cheeks tingle with heat when his hands spread your legs wider, eyes seemingly mesmerized.

“Such a pretty pussy…” he whispers, marveling at the way your sticky lips tremble when you clench around nothing.

He solves that by pushing in two of those pretty fingers of his, all the way down to the last knuckles. The desperate moan that flies from your lips sends him into a depraved headspace. He immediately latches his mouth onto your throbbing clit and sets to work, thrusting into your squelching squeezing heat and sucking to his heart’s content. Yunho loves eating pussy, truly. There’s something truly cathartic to him about holding a woman’s legs down while she twitches and grinds against his face as he’s slurping up every bit of essence that seeps from her greedy hole. He even removes his fingers and opts for lapping at your heat like a starved man instead. Up and down, left and right… His tongue leaves no inch of your heat untouched. He loves the feeling of your slick coating his face when he pushes his tongue as deep as he can into your hole. He feels your hands yank him by his hair before he can even get to the fun part. He gazes up at you in confusion, mouth messy and eyes indubitably pussy-drunk.

“Please,” you beg, chest heaving, “I want you inside.”

Yunho licks his lips clean before crawling back up your body to fulfill your request. You’re right honestly, there’s only so much grinding he can do into the mattress to ease the ache of his hard cock. He leans over to grab a condom from the nightstand but you pull him back over, mumbling about how you’re on the pill and that it’s fine.

He’s so big, the way he’s engulfing your whole body with you caged between his arms like this. Gazing into your eyes, he drags the blunt tip of his cock back and forth through your dripping folds, occasionally pressing it hard against that clit that he’s taken such a liking to sucking on.

“Hey,” you mumble against his lips, catching the full attention of his blown-out irises. “I can tell you’re nervous. Just relax and lose control, for me. Okay?”

Yunho’s last rope of restraint snaps.

The moment you feel his tip finally breach your entrance, you squeeze your eyes shut and mewl at the feeling of his thick cock sliding into its rightful place. Yes, obviously he’s meant just for your cunt, because you fit like a glove when you're swallowing him in so badly the deeper he pushes. He doesn’t stop until he’s buried to the hilt, despite your squirming and twitching underneath him at the feeling of being so full.

“I’m about to move,” he pants, adjusting to the feeling of your warm walls squeezing his cock, “Holy fuck.”

When you nod, he finally lets go of his inhibitions. He begins to roll his hips at a nice steady pace, large hands clasped to the backs of your thighs as he pushes them towards your torso. His mouth hangs open in ecstasy and his eyelids lower lazily at the way your walls suck in his cock so tightly and squeeze it like they’re begging to be filled to the brim. You reach up and latch onto his arms to ground yourself, head dizzy and overwhelmed at the feeling of him starting to snap his hips just a little faster now that you’re stretched out a bit more to accommodate him.

“Yunho, fuck, you’re so big,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders. Yunho grinds his pelvis into you at this remark, rubbing against your clit with his happy trail.

“And you’re taking me so well,” Yunho praises with a lopsided grin, “Feels good?”

“So fucking good.”

Yunho pushes your legs back even further as he leans in to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss. You’re so pretty with those glassy eyes and those flushed cheeks of yours, but there’s something about that that quivering bottom lip that makes him want to suck every sound from you himself. He finds himself bucking faster and faster, unable to maintain any kind of self-control.

He breaks away to catch his breath, eyes lazy as he groans, “Let me hear you. This is what you wanted, yeah?”

“Mhm, yes, yes,” you whine desperately, “I wanted it so bad. Wanted you so bad.”

You grant him a flurry of shameless bitten-off moans, egging him on further and further. Yunho buries his face into the crook of your neck, making your skin damp between his own warm gasps and grunting obscenities. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this aroused before; yes, he’s so painfully hard at the fleeting thoughts of how inappropriate everything is. He’s your linguistics teacher—he’s not supposed to be teaching your cunt how to mold to the shape of his cock. He’s not supposed to be massaging your clit and babbling nonsense about how he’s going to lick your pussy clean when you cum. How can he say that to a student? However, his eyes roll back at that thought.

“I’m going crazy,” he groans into your skin, mindlessly speaking his thoughts aloud. “I’m so close.”

You’d say the same if you could, but your mouth can’t form proper words with the way his long fingers are rubbing quick messy circles around your clit. Instead, you put your mouth on the shell of his ear and say his name in a filthy mewl. Your legs tense up and your toes curl; Yunho can feel you cum around his cock a beat later, encouraging your convulsing and whimpering. He can only manage to give you a few more rough thrusts before he pulls himself out and allows himself to empty his balls in quick spurts all over your torso, a mix of “fuck” and “____” leaking from his mouth at how filthy the action is, dirtying you like this. He’s a man of his word though, quickly hefting himself back down to your sopping cunt and diving face first to taste everything he missed tasting earlier. The groan of pure bliss he lets out into your sensitive cunt has you squirming away, much to his dismay. But he finds himself chuckling anyway—he got to taste your cum and, even if it was for only a few seconds, he’s satisfied.

Cleaning up and cuddling after is far from awkward, Yunho feels comfortable with his arms wrapped around you and head on your chest. You find yourself mindlessly scratching his scalp and playing with his messy hair, while his large hands massage the muscles of your thighs. It’s immensely intimate, and this scares Yunho deep inside. Unbeknownst to his stress, you’re settling into a mental state of bliss; you can’t wait to see where this night leads you after, even if it might be a little awkward back in the classroom at first. He tries not to dwell on such thoughts for too long, eventually falling asleep under your touch.

Yunho wakes up to a cold, empty bed. Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand, he catches some time he can’t be bothered with reading fully, nine-something-in-the-morning. He groans internally at the bittersweet arrival of the morning. After a few seconds of just lying there, bleary eyes staring at anything and everything, he remembers that he’s not supposed to be alone right now. The grimace that crosses his face is heavy.

He lugs himself up and out of bed to find his phone, which he’s left God knows where. After a bit of searching, he’s even more upset to see a lack of text from you about leaving. Leaving with no word after sex… Yunho has been in this position before and it makes him feel like shit. It feels even worse considering that this is not just some random woman, you are his student. He’s a chronic overthinker, he knows he is. Yet, he can’t stop his mind from filling with a plethora of miserable thoughts about what this could mean.

Did you simply want to fuck him and nothing more?

Did you regret sleeping with him and want to leave without confrontation?

Did you sleep with him to then leave and tell someone, maybe to humiliate him?

All of these thoughts scream at Yunho until he finds himself clenching his jaw, and tears are pricking at his eyes. He hates this feeling every time it happens; it makes him feel like he’s not good enough. In a moment of brief irrationality, Yunho debates if he should outright block you.

He’s impulsive like that when he’s worked up. However, after a few minutes of begging himself to calm down, he tossed his phone away and went on to make a cup of tea to ease his agitation. He knew this was a mistake from the start and he still did it.

He doesn’t get a text from you until after 11 AM.

[Y/N: sorry for leaving without saying anything!! I forgot I had prior commitments this morning, didn’t wanna text you until I was sure you’d be up. hope you slept well :)]

Yunho doesn’t know what to think. Prior commitments? Surely this would’ve been something you would’ve mentioned before he drove you to his home last night. It is Saturday though, so it’s plausible. He opens the message and leaves you on read instead.

Earlier this morning, you were certain Yunho must have completely tired himself out after sleeping with you because he failed to wake up when your alarms went off. You make a mental note that it only takes him cumming once to make him go comatose (and maybe a little wine to boot). You had left his place with no ill intentions, and your message was truthful. So, when you get left on read by him, it ignites a small flame of insecurity in you. You’re never one to double-text a man, but considering this is something you put a great amount of effort into getting to happen, you put your pride aside when you don't get a reply by the next day.

[Y/N: Wondering if you want to try a new restaurant after work tomorrow… Let me know if you’re interested!]

To your surprise, Yunho replies that he’s too busy. He doesn’t offer to reschedule for a better day, which isn’t like him. Instead of taking it too seriously and replying something disheartened, you let him know that you understand and to let you know if anything changes. He opens this message and doesn’t reply. You try again on Tuesday. This time, your inquiry is more succinct, no fluff.

[Y/N: Are you free Wednesday?]

He answers this similarly to the last attempt, maintaining that he’s too busy to see you that day as well. However, this text is more curt than the last. When you cave in and ask him which days he’s not busy, he leaves you on read, again.

[Y/N: Do you have a free moment to talk then?]

Yunho doesn’t open this text altogether, and the disgruntlement this stirs within you lingers in your system all day, even when you decide to go out with your friends to clear your mind.

Throughout his class with you the following day, you endure Yunho’s eyes practically boring into you at various points in time. It’s like an itch that can’t be scratched, nagging at your scalp while you keep your head downcast towards your laptop. Thoroughly, as distractions do, it keeps you on edge and unfocused throughout the whole lecture. It doesn’t help that Yeosang is out today, so you feel alone even surrounded by so many people.

At some point, during a quiet moment of everyone completing an individual assignment he had handed out, you glance up over the screen of your laptop and catch his attentive eyes gazing back. He gnaws on the nail of this thumb as he usually does when his brain is on overdrive, his eyes calmly lingering on the fixation of all his thoughts. Eventually, he turns them away and decides to focus on something else irrelevant involving his phone. Anything to take you off of his mind.

You quietly snicker to yourself and roll your eyes. So, he can play on his phone just fine during class but can’t find the time to text you and talk? Men will be men… If he just wanted to sleep with you and leave at that, he could at least tell you, you brood. You try not to let it get to you, but it’s hard to focus on anything for the last half hour of class. You don’t bother sticking around after and instead, preoccupy yourself by striking up a conversation with another acquaintance on the way out of the doors. Yunho notices the way you act like he doesn’t exist while leaving and it makes him a bit bitter. He knows it’s irrational, but you’ve really done a number on him, so he can’t help it.

On Thursday, you’re sick of the games altogether. Being the super sleuth you were at the beginning of this mess, you knew when Yunho typically went to his office in between classes to get grading done that he couldn’t do throughout the day. So, when you finish your mathematics class, you pack up your things quickly, knowing he should be roaming this same hall in very little time. There’s one thing–or person, you suppose–that you didn’t account for in this plan.

“You’re terrible at covering hickeys, you know,” Hongjoong chides, eyeing your messy job at applying makeup to your neck.

To be fair to yourself, you hadn’t realized Yunho had sucked one onto your skin the night you both slept together, and the dark blotch was too annoying to deal with every single day. You bruise too easily and they don’t go away fast enough. Admittedly, you had slacked off on the cover-up today. You chalk it up to secretly being in Fight Club, which you remind him, the number rule is to never talk about Fight Club! That, of course, was not a good enough reason for Hongjoong, and you regret that you didn’t acknowledge beforehand he would surely grill you endlessly about your recreational pastimes.

“Okay seriously, I just wore my choker too tight yesterday and it pinched my neck, that's all,” you explain as he quickly follows you out of the classroom. He squints at you with skeptical eyes, as if he is not believing any of the piping hot shit you’re serving him on a platter. Phase two was to gaze at him with winsome eyes, ones he was definitely familiar with. They always worked on Yeosang, but Hongjoong was harder to subdue.

“Don’t.”

“Joong, I’m telling you, there’s nothing more for me to answer here.”

You employ a small pout to boot.

“And you think I believe that?”

“I think you should believe it.”

He rolls his eyes in annoyance. Meanwhile, your eyes inconspicuously search for Yunho in the sea of classmates flooding the hallway; there was a very important conversation you had hyped yourself up to finally have with him. One that surely would not be done if it didn’t get done today, at this very moment. That would obviously fail to happen if Hongjoong kept pestering you with his concerns. Suddenly, your eyes spot the tail end of Yunho’s styled hair turning the corner and leaving the hallway. Goddammit!

“Joong, I really gotta go,” you say frantically and secure your backpack onto your back. His lips open slightly in puzzlement, but there’s nothing he can say before you’re already shoving people out of the way to make it through the hallway to follow him to his office.

You take the stairs while he takes the elevator to waste some time; hopefully, he'll be set up and comfortable by the time you get to his floor. When you make it to his office, he’s indeed already seated and filtering through sheets of work from students during the last class. You don’t bother knocking before entering; he hadn’t afforded you the comfort of manners lately, so neither would you.

Honestly, had anyone else burst into his office so unannounced like this, he might've cussed them out by accident. But before he can get any words out, you can see the physical shift from annoyance to puzzlement wash over his face as he realizes it’s you, then, genuine dread graces his face before downcasting his gaze.

“I need to talk to you,” you insist, “Now.”

He’s having a hard time even meeting your eyes when you’re speaking and it’s pissing you off tremendously.

“I’m a bit busy right now,” he sighs, now in the process of looking through his desk for a pen that works. “It’ll have to wait for another time.”

You ignore him entirely, “Why are you avoiding me, Yunho?”

“I’m not avoiding you,” Yunho quickly objects. “I’m just–”

“You’ve blown me off twice this week already,” you counter. “Now I can’t even come see you at your office?”

Yunho puts his head in his hands and tries to collect his thoughts. He’s too sensitive to handle this conversation with no preparation beforehand. Then again, the longer he keeps isolating, the longer he’s going to keep feeling like shit. He can hear the undertone of hurt in your words, but he’s only doing what’s best for you, right?

“The least you could do is give me a real reason,” you continue. He finally lifts his head and meets your frustrated eyes. “Just give me a real reason to and I’ll fuck-off all you want.”

“____, that night was a mistake,” he tells you simply. The look in his eyes says otherwise. You know he’s lying but it still feels like a punch in the gut.

“A mistake?”

“It’s something that shouldn’t have happened, and it was inappropriate of me to do that with you. Let’s just forget about it and move on, please.”

You furrow your brows in agitation, “You really feel that way?”

“I do,” he murmurs, eyes falling back to the papers in front of him. He visibly hesitates for the briefest moment before picking up his pen and resuming his grading. This feeling of rejection hurts a little more than usual. Why do you feel like a failure? Why do you feel like a fuck-up? Maybe it’s because of the effort you put into this man, unlike many others. You stand there in his doorway uncomfortably silent until you find it in yourself to offer some final words.

“We’re both adults, Yunho,” you remind him in a voice that airs on the more serious side of yourself. He’s never heard you sound such a way with him. “No one has to know what two grown adults do in their free time. And you don’t owe anyone any explanations.”

When he doesn’t look up from his paperwork anymore, you finally leave and gently close the door behind you.

Nearly a week after that day, your phone begins to ring while you’re out at a bar with friends. Yeosang’s nosy eyes catch the name on the screen and he gives you an incredulous look. His name still has a heart beside it and you haven’t updated him on anything regarding Yunho since telling him that you both were texting each other outside of class.

“What is he doing calling you at 9 PM, miss?” he teases as you move your phone to your lap, “Booty call?”

“Would you like to ask him yourself?” you snort.

“Boo, why can I never know anything–”

“Oh but when I mention the obvious hickey, I’m imagining things, huh?” Hongjoong interjects with narrowed eyes when he overhears you both bickering. “Who’s the mystery man?”

“It’s nobody,” both you and Yeosang say in unison.

Hongjoong quirks a brow at how you both are gazing at him with matching smiles, suspiciously. He lets it go quickly and instead butts into Mingi and his girlfriend’s conversation. By the time you glance at your phone, Yunho’s call has already gone fully unanswered. Subsequently, you chose not to return the call later when you’re done and home. You didn’t necessarily want to talk to someone who called such an intimate moment with you a mistake. And especially not intoxicated. If he wants to talk to me that bad, he’d just send whatever he needs to say in a text, you tell yourself. But, of course, those texts don’t come. Yunho doesn’t know how to express himself like that over message. However, after getting wasted, it takes everything within you not to text him first in a fit of overwhelming horniness. What’s the worst that could come from letting him know that you’re craving the feeling of that thick cock of his splitting you open, or how maybe this time you should test out your gag reflex? Yeosang knows you well enough to take your phone from you after a certain amount of shots, so you don’t get that opportunity anyway. God bless your best friend.

A couple of days later, you still find yourself unable to let things go. How can you when Yeosang brings it up any time you speak alone? For someone so sure you were making a huge mistake, he sure is desperate for the tea. It’s like he’s your frontline cheerleader (which he usually is anyway). If he found out you both fucked, surely he’d lose his mind.

“You can’t keep me in the dark, I’m still dying to know how much progress you’re making with Mr. Jeong after seeing him call you that night,” Yeosang pleads, “Have you both met up in private off of campus yet?”

“That’s classified info,” you state and try to stifle your subsequent laughter when you hear him grumble. You still hadn’t found it within yourself yet to tell him that your plan had failed. “You’ll know by if I pass this class or not.”

“Just a little hint, please? I’m on my knees.”

“Progress is being made, Yeo,” you disclose in a sing-song voice. Surely a little white lie wouldn’t hurt in the meantime, “He’s a very good conversationalist, you know. With that deep voice of his, and especially late at night.”

Yeosang groans in annoyance, “You’re killing me ____, I’m too curious! You didn’t entertain a single man at the bar, something juicy has to be happening.”

You debate on at least telling him about the extra study sessions you and Yunho had been having before things were soiled, the innocent stuff that he could gush and tease you over. But, just as you’re about to say something, he cuts you off unknowingly.

“Shit, Mingi’s calling. Le’me call you back,” Yeosang groans, and you offer a hum of affirmation before the line clicks. Maybe it’s for the best that you had been interrupted before you put your foot in your mouth.

You quickly fill the silence by shuffling one of your ‘Doing Chores’ playlists and focusing your mind on cooking the remainder of your dinner. A couple of minutes later, the chime of your phone interrupts your music. You continue to focus on stirring while your other hand carelessly presses the answer option.

“That was quick,” you giggle.

“Felt like forever to me,” a familiar, deep voice replies. You freeze and glance over to see Yunho’s name on the screen of your phone in place of your best friend’s.

Fuck.

“Good evening, Mr. Jeong,” you reply instead. “I thought you were someone else, my apologies.”

“Have we really already reverted back to the formalities?” he sighs and his voice already sounds a bit defeated.

You roll your eyes, “I’m a bit preoccupied right now. So unless you’d like to discuss my class work, I don’t have time to entertain this.”

“Just give me five minutes, please.”

You turn off the stove and snatch up your phone before ambling to your bedroom.

“Spit it out already, Yunho.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you ____,” he admits.

Hearing you say his first name makes him feel a smidge better, even if it’s in irritation. He wonders if you can feel his heart pounding through the speaker or the way it makes his fingers tremble while holding the phone. “I was just scared, you have to understand that at least. I told you I’ve never done that kind of thing before, ever.”

“Thought it was a mistake–”

“I only said that because you left without saying anything. I thought you regretted it!”

“I literally told you why I did that, you decided to not believe me apparently,” you counter, voice laced with the slightest bit of frustration as you sit on your bed. Then you add in a mutter, “Instead of talking with me like an adult.”

There’s a long moment of silence. He doesn’t hang up though, so neither do you. You stare at the timer under his name, continuing to count up seconds full of emptiness.

“I’m really sorry,” Yunho finally sighs. “I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. I was just scared.” You remain silent and it eats at his confidence slowly. He’s desperate and doesn’t really care if it shows at this point, so he goes on to fill the silence again, “You were right, we’re adults. It’s not anybody else’s business what happens outside of campus. That’s why I’m trying to fix things now. Please.”

You sigh heavily while stroking your temples. This conversation is not something you had prepared yourself for, but the desperation in his voice is hitting you right in the gut. You know he’s being sincere, but it’s just hard to make yourself that vulnerable as well. You both know the truth is that it’s not okay, none of this is. It’s all extremely inappropriate. What you are doing with each other could ruin both of your lives if found out before you graduate. It’s risky; and yet, you still find yourself saying a sentence you definitely shouldn’t be saying:

“Listen, I genuinely like you Yunho.”

“And I genuinely like you too, ____. So let me take you on a proper date,” he says a little too hastily, but he can’t stop himself from the excitement that bubbles inside of him, stemming solely from you even reciprocating his feelings, “And not just a dinner like usual, I mean something thoughtful.”

“Something thoughtful…” you repeat after him, accidentally punctuating it with a giggle at how foolish the whole situation seems. “Are you serious about that?”

“Absolutely,” he assures you, “Only if you want to, of course.”

You sigh and smile to yourself at how heartfelt he sounds. Sure, there are millions of ways this could go extremely wrong, but you decide to ignore those thoughts and take him up on his offer. If you were one to listen to the better part of your judgment, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself into this situation in the first place. It would be a shame to let that work you put in go to waste just because of a little hiccup in the road. Besides, Yunho was surely the best fuck you had received in quite some time. There was plenty of time through the rest of the semester to explore that side of him again as well. The conversation ends with you both agreeing to meet with each other in a few days, Yunho promising to make it enjoyable even though it’ll be discrete.

♡ taglist for those who replied to my interest post: @yeos-bunny @sharksandminhos @sannieluvrr

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

Text

summer's storm (yunho x reader)

part two of summer’s dive paring: yunho x fem reader genre: angst, brother’s best friend, boy next door, fuckboy au word count: 25k summary: last summer, your brother’s best friend broke your heart in a way you thought you’d never recover from. now, almost a year later, you learn the truth of his betrayal and fight the the parts of you desperate to forgive and the parts of you unable to forget. warnings: none

ao3 link can be found here.

“You’re lying,” were the first words out of your mouth.

Because there isn’t any possible scenario in which you’re willing to accept that the Yunho you knew this summer did everything he did with you while having a girlfriend.

The Yunho that planned romantic dates and put so much effort into making your time together special.

The Yunho who was vulnerable with you, who listened and made you feel safe enough to confess your own insecurities.

The Yunho that called you beautiful and made you feel more adored and wanted than you had ever felt in your life.

“Are you forgetting that we spend almost every day together, Y/N? That he’s my best friend?” your brother asks, looking exasperated as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and scrolls in search of what you can guess is proof of his words.

You almost want to tell him to stop because you think that if you see actual evidence of something you’re already beginning to fear is true, you’re going to throw up.

But before you can even open your mouth to speak, your brother is shoving his phone in your direction, a picture of Yunho with a girl on his lap displayed on the screen.

You take the device from your brother, holding it in your hand and, against your better judgment, taking a closer look.

The girl on his lap is gorgeous. She sits on Yunho’s lap with her hands thrown around his neck, throwing her head back in laughter as if someone’s told a really funny joke. She has long legs and cascading locs of dark brown hair that go down her exposed back as she wears a short, glittery dress. And she looks comfortable there, on his lap, as if its a place she’s sat thousands of times before. A territory that’s familiar to her.

Yunho’s not really looking at her in the picture, and there’s a level of disinterest on his face, but his arm is around her waist. He touches her in the way that a boyfriend touches a girlfriend – casually. It’s a familiar touch that you may not even realize is there, yet unconsciously makes you feel instantly more comfortable.

Kind of like how it felt when he touched you.

You realize the picture is from an Instagram account and you swipe out of it until you’re staring at the profile of a girl who, perhaps in another life, you might’ve been friends with. She seems accomplished, cool, smart. The picture of her on Yunho’s lap is the only one on her feed that seems to reference a man at all – everything else is pictures of her and her friends, of her at conferences, of her on campus. You double-check the time stamp of the photo with Yunho, confirming it was posted in late April, feeling sick as the idea of her being Yunho’s girlfriend becomes all the more real.

Your brother snatches the phone out of your hand before you can scroll any further, and a part of you is grateful. If you had to see any more pictures of this clearly beautiful, intelligent girl you think you’re gonna throw up.

“You don’t fucking listen, Y/N,” your brother scolds, absorbed by his own annoyance and frustration. “I told you from the very first day I came home that–”

“Telling me to leave him alone and telling me he has a girlfriend are two completely different things,” you snap. “Don’t you think I would’ve listened had I know—”

“I didn’t think I needed to tell you, Y/N!” your brother shouts in reply, throwing his arms up into the air. “I mean, how stupid can you be? Yunho?”

Kai stops to crack a smile, laughing as he thinks about how so non-boyfriend-material his best friend is. “The stories I have about him, Y/N, you wouldn’t even believe some of the shit he’s done with girls—”

“Stop.”

Kai pauses and closes his mouth, taking a closer look at your expression and doing a double take as he sees a pain he didn’t quite capture before. Your voice, unusually weak and dejected, helps him to the realization that perhaps things with Yunho were a lot deeper than what he initially assumed. He thought that at most you might’ve had a crush, and that Yunho being the attention-whore that he is played into it. What he didn’t imagine was that the two of you might’ve had a serious relationship, one that would leave you heartbroken and sad at the idea of him being with someone else. And now suddenly he regrets delivering the news in the way he did.

He’s not sure how to comfort you in this moment because he’s never had to before, never told you about his love life and never asked about yours. He liked things this way, but now he knows he fucked up and has to say something.

“I’m sorry I had to be the person to break it to you,” he gently adds, looking at his feet awkwardly as he searches for the right words. “If he really hurt you, Y/N, tell me, and I’ll sort things out with him.”

“No,” you tell him flatly, a feigned strength coming to your voice so that your refusal is understood. Worse than the confusion you’re feeling right now is the idea of Yunho knowing it, the idea of Kai and Yunho’s relationship made awkward because of you. And as the reality of this moment hits you, your brother’s pity feels suddenly mortifying, and so you stand up straight and try your best to appear okay.

“Don’t tell him anything. I…I was just surprised, that’s all,” you explain, wiping away an angry tear before it has the chance to fall. “You don’t have to comfort me. We’ve never done that for each other before, so please don’t start now.”

You become biting as a way to hide your true feelings, because being mean to your brother feels much more familiar and comfortable to you than receiving his sympathy. The sad eyes he uses to look at you let you know that you’re no more convincing than you feel, and because you know you’ll break if you stand under his gaze any longer, you brush past him on the stairs and head straight for your bedroom.

As the wooden door closes behind you, something immediate happens inside of you that has your knees buckling until you’re on the floor, making strange, muted noises in an effort to conceal your sobs.

That was almost one year ago.

Almost one year ago you experienced all of that pain and suffering realizing that the boy you had been falling in love with was not the person you thought he was. He cheated, not on you, but on someone else, someone else who was there before you and probably equally adored him, someone who may have no idea of your existence. He put you in a position where you became the unknowing homewrecker, an unwilling participating in the destruction of someone else’s happiness. And with that knowledge perpetually haunting you, it felt as if the fabric of your world was crumbling beneath you, the one thing that was holding you together proving itself unsteady and leaving you to deal with the broken pieces of your heart.

But no matter how you felt, no matter how much it felt as if your world was ending, things had to go on. You couldn’t postpone your move-in day, or your first day of classes, or any of these new life experiences that were coming at you faster than what you were ready for.

You had a lot of questions about how things ended and so badly wanted to confront Yunho about them. To hear an explanation from his familiar voice and have him reassure you that everything was going to be okay. But the image of him with someone else was permanently burned in your mind, a betrayal too painful to work through. So you retreated from it all. You blocked Yunho from all communication methods and haven’t spoken to him since. College was busy and provided new experiences that allowed you to forget. You pushed through and distracted yourself until you no longer knew the version of yourself that was infatuated with Yunho.

You’re a different person now, and you like who you are. This new you doesn’t let people in as easily as she once did. She doesn’t foolishly fall in love with someone she was only romantically involved with for three months. She’s distrusting and knows that it’s a necessary precaution for the protection of her peace. She recognizes that her previous naivety is what opened her up to heartbreak and forgives herself because she knows better now.

You can’t say that you’re completely over the situation, or that seeing Yunho again isn’t a real fear of yours. It’s a type of heartbreak that you’re not sure if you’ll ever get over, really.

But you know that if you do see him, there will be no chance for reconciliation in your mind.

Because he broke your heart once and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget that.

Out of your brother’s car window, the neighborhood you grew up in appears into focus. The tree-lined streets. The fashionable suburban homes. The uncovered pools in your neighbors’ backyards. You were just here last summer, and yet it still feels new and exciting.

You didn’t return home for fall break, or for winter break, or for spring break like you should’ve. None of it felt like purposeful or conscious avoidance on your part, and what you hated the most was hearing your mother’s sad voice on the other end of the phone as you relayed to her for a second, third, and fourth time that she wouldn’t be seeing her baby daughter for the holidays.

But you were becoming a new person and to do that, it didn’t serve you to be reminded of the past.

When you’re away from home for so long, there comes a fear that when you finally return, things won’t feel the same anymore, and that the place you grew up in would become unrecognizable. But in a moving car, the neighborhood feels endless, full of possibility. It fills you with hope that maybe, this summer won’t be so bad after all.

“You look like a dog with your head out of the window like that, you know,” you hear your older brother remark, looking over at you as he stops at a red light. In reply, you grab an empty water bottle from the dash and throw it at his head, laughing when he fails to dodge it and it hits him right in the face.

His snarky comments throughout the entire car ride have been getting on your nerves, but in a different way, it's what lets you know that you’re home. That even though it's been a while, some things haven’t changed in your absence.

Your brother laughs, and in a more serious way, asks, “Are you excited about the summer?”

You turn back to the window, looking out as you ponder the question. Coming home for the summer and seeing your family for the first time in a year was something that admittedly worried you; you weren’t the same daughter that your mother sent off to school, the same sister your brother saw break down on the stairs of your house.

You think about how you felt around this time last year, how you were so hopeful and excited for your last summer before heading off to college. You just knew that you would use that time to grow and develop as a person, and in some unexpected and painful ways, you did.

Really, your only goal for this summer is to simply make it through. To avoid any conflict until you’re able to return to school and continue your education.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I mean, I guess I should be excited in the sense that I get time off from school. But in another way, I’m nervous to see how things have changed and stayed the same during my time away.”

You weren’t at all meaning to sound profound with your answer but your brother appears impressed all the same, smirking proudly at you when he says, “You’ve changed, you know.”

There’s a lot that Kai has wondered about since that moment almost a year ago when he confronted you with the truth. He saw with his own eyes how hurt you were but never quite knew the extent of it, and of course had no expectations that you’d confide in him about it. Phone conversations throughout the school year could only reveal so much about your disposition, and a part of him didn't know the person he’d meet when he picked you up from your dorm.

But he sees you now and, taking as much as he can from your words and overall demeanor, you seem fine. Like you've grown up a bit in your time away from home which is always a welcome change.

A tiny part of you becomes self-conscious at your brother’s observation. It must show through in your silence, because he moves to assure you.

“You don’t have to say anything. You’ll hear enough about it when mom sees you.”

You arrive in the front driveway of your house just a few moments later, getting out the car and waiting beside it nervously for your mom to come out and greet you.

“Just so you know, she’s totally gonna cry all over you,” your brother warns jovially, bumping shoulders with you as you both stand against the car. “All she does is talk about you.”

You sigh, something about his words making you feel a bit sad. “I know.”

And indeed, when your mother comes out of the house, she almost tackles you with the force of her embrace. She picks and prods at your skin and tells you how different and taller you look and all you can do is bite back a smile, worried that things would be different but instead feeling happy to see her.

It makes you feel optimistic about your summer knowing that things haven’t changed, that just because you’ve become this new person doesn’t mean the relationship with your family has to be any different.

Together the three of you bring your stuff into the house, and it’s entirely reminiscent of the beginning of last summer. You try not to dwell too much on the similarities, because with it comes what's different – most notably the absence of Yunho, whose childhood-long habit of sticking to your brother like glue makes it that much more noticeable.

“Dinner is already ready, and I made your favorites,” your mother entices after you’ve brought up the last suitcase, the promise of food willing your tired legs up the porch steps. But then she looks behind you, her eyebrows creasing in concern. “Kai, what’s going on?”

You turn around to see your brother staring at his phone, and then tucking it into his pocket with an almost too well-meaning smile. “Sorry, I just got a text. I gotta go check on something. I’ll make sure to be back before you guys finish eating.”

“Are you really going to leave on your sister’s first day back?” your mother asks in frustration, narrowing her eyes at your older brother and saying all types of things about how he hasn’t seen you in almost a year and how disrespectful it would be to leave so soon.

But it’s your voice that ultimately settles the debate, explaining to your mother that you and Kai had more than enough time to catch up in the car ride over here and that it’ll be fine if he steps out for a few moments.

So together you and your mother head inside to eat, a display of all your favorite foods spread out against the dinner table and making you feel a little forlorn knowing you won’t be able to finish it all. You tell her all about your semester, catching her up on all of the new developments that she’s missed. She asks you if you’re dating and all other types of invasive questions, and you give her the truthful answer which is no, that no one’s caught your eye and you’re not really interested in dating right now.

You fail to tell her why, or how your trust has been so severely broken that you can’t even imagine opening up to someone again.

It’s a little bit insane to think that your mother knows next to nothing about your summer-long relationship with Yunho, or any of these life shattering emotions that you’ve been experiencing in the past year. Still, you have no desire to hash any of it out now, to bring up memories that have been rendered meaningless to you after months of crying over them.

The hours tick by with lots of conversation and eating and yet still, your brother doesn’t show his face. You have to talk your mother down from calling him and making a big fuss out of it, eventually convincing her to go ahead and get ready for bed because clearly, he won’t be returning anytime soon.

Your mother goes off to her room to sleep while you stay behind to do the dishes, watching the evening blend into night as you scrub away at stained utensils. It isn’t until a little past 9:00pm that your brother finally does show up, the creak of the front door opening giving him away.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says, looking and sounding guilty as he walks over and stands in the archway of the kitchen.

Facing the sink, you turn around at the sound of his voice and can’t help but smirk at his obviously awkward disposition – eyes turned downward to look at his feet, elbow bent to scratch the back of his head. The truth is that you could care less about where your brother’s been, not at all phased or offended at his absence. You’re more interested in making fun of him for seeming guilty about it.

“Where were you?” you ask, giggling as you watch your brother squirm under your gaze. But it isn’t until you look down, where in his hand he holds a video game DVD, that everything starts to make sense. He walked away earlier without getting into his car. As if whatever he needed to “check on” was within walking distance. It finally clicks for you that where your brother’s been was across the street, at Yunho’s house.

Kai must see the gears turning in your head, because his expression turns shameful and apologetic as he attempts to explain himself.

“I…was at Yunho’s house. If…that’s okay with you?”

You can tell by the way he draws out the ‘if’ that he’s’ super scared to be telling you this, scared of how you’ll react. “I just wasn’t sure if it’s something that you would have a problem with and I—”

“I know. It’s fine,” you tell him calmly.

Because in no scenario were you expecting that your brother would just stop being best friends with Yunho at your expense.

You understand that their friendship dates your relationship by about 18 years, and that Kai doesn’t know enough about the extent of your relationship to be offended on your behalf.

“Really,” you emphasize when it feels like Kai is still looking at you like you’re a bomb waiting to explode. “You don’t have to sneak around to be with your best friend. It’s okay.”

“Can I ask you a question?” your brother says next, looking awkwardly at the floor before meeting your gaze. “Are you…okay?”

Because a part of him wonders if maybe you’re a little too fine about all of this. He can’t help but think about all of those breaks when you didn’t come home from school and wonder if that cool, cold demeanor is a cover for something more.

You take a few seconds to ponder the question, thinking of all that’s transpired since last summer. All of the hurt you dealt with alone, all of the isolation you experienced, all of the pain you had to transform in order to become this new person. A person who will never allow herself to be that hurt again.

“Yes,” you answer. Because with all things considered, you think you are.

A part of you is scared, though, that all of that will end when you inevitably see Yunho again.

Your first few weeks of summer seem to suggest that perhaps things will, after all, be decent like you were hoping for.

Because you’ve met a group of friends and found a way to spend your time that seems pretty worthwhile, at least for now.

It became pretty obvious at the conclusion of your freshman year that you’d pretty much have no choice but to work during the summers. Your scholarship covered mostly everything, but there were things left that you needed during the semester that weren’t going to pay for themselves.

You found a job opening for a coffee shop in your neighborhood that you had only visited a few times throughout the shocking number of years it has been residing in your neighborhood. It seemed like easy enough work for pretty abhorrent pay, but it was standard for this sort of job, and outside of this, your only other option was to maybe start mowing lawns again – and for obvious reasons, that wouldn’t do.

Your interview was incredibly informal. Just a rambunctious boy named Wooyoung sitting you down and explaining that with the amount of people that had been run out of the job, they were willing to practically hire anyone who applied.

You weren’t sure what to say to that information but you smiled at it anyway, accepting the job and feeling more like you were doing them a favor by accepting it then them for offering it to you.

The work so far has been simple enough, just heating up prepackaged food and making tolerable drinks. The time goes by fast with your coworkers, whose lives are entirely all-consuming and interesting. It’s very easy to fall into their stories when you’re supposed to be working, and with a young Wooyoung as the manager, you pretty much never have to worry about being scolded.

“Y/N–-” says Mingi, your charming, blonde, giant of a coworker who really should be wiping tables instead of gossiping right now, “--Did Lisa tell you about the new guy she’s talking to?”

“Oh Mingi, would you stop trying to tell all my business to Y/N?” Lisa remarks before you can respond, eyes rolling as a prominent blush makes its way to her cheeks. “I’m sure she’s tired of hearing about my exploits.”

“And I’m not?”

You laugh, watching as Lisa grazes the top of Mingi’s head with a bag of coffee beans. The two of them never fail to make a slow work day amusing with their back-and-forth banter and genial attitude towards you. They’ve been working at this coffee shop together for far longer than you have – both of them grad students and roommates who were looking to pick up extra work to pay their rent – and yet in your few weeks, you’ve already been made to feel like a part of their inner circle. You were delighted to find out that Mingi was pursuing his Master’s in Music Education at your university, unbeknownst to you until you started working together.

“Actually, I really love hearing these stories, Lisa,” you earnestly reply, to which Lisa rolls her eyes, though you can tell by the grin that follows that she’s not really mad at you. If she was, she’d clock Mingi in the face before he could get the first few words of his story out.

Instead, she leans against the back counter and listens as Mingi animatedly narrates Lisa’s weekend date. “Tell me why she’s now involved with a military guy,” he says, mimicking the assembly of a gun with his hands to accentuate his words. “He let it casually slip during their date that he just got back from Europe and will be stationed in North Korea next week.”

“South Korea, actually,” Lisa interrupts, tilting her head back in a dreamy sort of way, though you can tell she’s just being dramatic. “He says he wants to fly me there so we can keep seeing each other even while he’s serving.”

“Oh, tell me he’s not serious?” you ask. “After one date?”

“He’s totally serious. I’m not though. I’ll take the free flight and probably have a vacation or something.” Lisa shrugs, then turns to glare at Mingi. “Lord knows I need one. This guy stresses me out on the daily. Y/N, did you know he accidentally left the oven on in our apartment last night?”

“Did I? Or was I just finding a cost-effective way to stay warm in our freezing cold apartment?”

“Guys! There’s a customer waiting!” a voice coming from the back storeroom shouts, and when you turn to meet it, you see Wooyoung looking grumpy with a clipboard in his hand. He must be taking inventory, his least favorite activity, which explains the attitude. You exchange amused looks with both Mingi and Lisa before the three of you silently walk over to your respective posts, doing the work you always seem to forget about.

Anytime a customer is at the register, it means it's your cue, always being the one to take orders as your coworkers are a lot more crude and admittedly not very good at their social skills.

You turn around to greet the customer and are barely able to get your rehearsed greeting out.

Because as soon as you lock eyes with the tall, dark haired man behind the register, you feel your entire world shifting in the same way it did the first time you saw him.

“Hi, how can I help you?” are the words that come out of your mouth automatically as you’re turning around, but when you see him, it’s like your entire throat goes dry.

You should’ve known that all of these weeks of peace and quiet were just the calm before the storm. That you seeing Yunho in this small, suburban neighborhood that you grew up in was just as inevitable as summer rain.

You had prepared yourself for the moment in which you would see him and played out versions of the scenario in your head multiple times. In one scenario, you’d seem completely cold. In another, you’d run away. You weren’t at all anticipating this version, the one in which you’d simply be so shocked and panicked that you wouldn’t say anything at all.

“Y/N,” Yunho says, your name coming out of his mouth for the first time in what feels like forever. He stares at you with wide, brown eyes, all of the shock and surprise of seeing someone you weren’t expecting to see painted all over his handsome features.

He looks healthy, though you don’t know why you expected otherwise. Perhaps it would’ve been comforting to know he was struggling without you, that the pain of your absence had left a physical impact.

But instead, he looks as good-looking as ever in his black t-shirt and baseball cap, locks of dark hair falling out on the sides where the hat just doesn’t quite fit. He’s still the same tall, attractive dark-haired boy you came to be smitten with. Though now, he opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words, trying to figure out what to say to someone you haven’t seen in months, someone who you so badly fucked things up with.

“I had no idea you were back or else I would’ve…I would’ve come to see you,” he tells you, lifting up his hat to run an anxious hand through his hair. And you can see the panic in his eyes, see the expression of having so much to say but not knowing how to express it. “Fuck. I haven’t seen you in almost…a year.”

You don’t know what to say to him and it causes you to shrink into a smaller version of yourself. All of the confidence you might’ve had about who you were, the person you’d become post-Yunho, all fades away with just a few seconds of his presence. You feel angry, mad at yourself and frustrated to even be feeling this way. And as these thoughts course through you, all you can do is stare downward at your fingers, trying desperately to steel yourself but feeling as if all of the words have been knocked out of you with the force of his appearance.

“Do you guys know each other?” you can hear Mingi’s voice ask, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt anything quite like the relief that washes over you. He steps away from the coffee machines that decorate the back counter to come hover beside you, looking at Yunho with a polite grin on his face.

You hold silently for Yunho to answer your coworker’s question, waiting and then looking up to find him staring at you with the same sort of expectation in his expression. Burdened by his defiant silence, you force your lips together in an almost-smile and turn to Mingi with the words, “Yeah. He’s a friend.”

Mingi hums at you and then turns back to Yunho, extending out his arm for a handshake. You watch with anxious trepidation as Yunho almost seems not to notice it, his eyes still burning intensely into yours with a fire in them that makes it impossible for you to look away either. But he eventually turns to Mingi, and in a strained and robotic movement, shakes his hand. “Hi. Yunho.”

“Mingi,” your coworker replies back, a look on his face that tells you he doesn’t know just quite what to think about the man in front of him.

After he’s let go of Mingi’s hand, Yunho immediately turns back to you, and in an uncharacteristically rude fashion, completely cuts Mingi out of the conversation. “Y/N, can we–”

Whether it’s because he’s persistent, oblivious, or trying very purposely to piss Yunho off, Mingi interrupts the taller boy with another question. “How do you guys know each other?” Mingi’s long armed embrace finds its way around your shoulders, squeezing you into his chest. “Y/N always says so little about herself, so I’m always curious to hear from people who know her. Like, longer than I have.”

You watch as Yunho’s eyes zero in on Mingi’s arm, the expression on his face changing subtly as he processes the image before him. “Sorry–” he says, looking at Mingi’s hand and then up at his face. “--what did you say your name was?”

“Mingi.”

“And who are you to her?”

A jealous edge you’ve never heard before comes into Yunho's voice, and makes Mingi clearly uncomfortable. “Her…coworker?” he timidly replies, looking back and forth between the two of you in confusion, and that’s when you feel compelled to finally address Yunho directly.

“Yunho there’s a line behind you so you really should…order.”

Your voice comes out sounding weak and apprehensive but it’s as if you told Yunho to go fuck himself, the look he gives you all types of hurt and offended. He looks back and forth at something that’s not there, speaking in low tones and leaning down so that you hear him when he frantically whispers, “Are we not going to talk?I haven’t seen or heard from you in months, Y/N.”

You feel conflicted for reasons you don’t understand, opening your mouth in what should be a very clearly defined no but instead breathing out little puffs of broken air.

“Y/N, are you good up here? I’m fine with taking orders for a change.” Mingi asks, making you feel bad as you realize you almost forget he was still there, at your side, squeezing your shoulder just slightly as if he can sense that you need some support in getting your words out in this moment.

But in a moment where the very obvious answer should be an enthusiastic yes, please save me from this ridiculously uncomfortable interaction, you rest a hand on your coworker's chest, pushing him away just slightly as you quietly reply, “It’s okay, Mingi.”

Mingi accepts this, though you can see in his face that he’s a little confused and probably wondering about the dynamic he’s just witnessed, plus the sudden change in your personality. But he goes back to making drinks, and that’s when you turn to face Yunho, who’s already opening his mouth to speak.

“I know you must have a lot of questions and you have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to answer them. I just…” he sighs, once again overwhelmed by all of the things he wants to say to you in this moment. It all boils down to one sentiment: “I need to talk to you, Y/N.”

You can feel yourself starting to get worked up as you think about everything he’s saying and all of the ways in which his words are no longer meaningful to you. Because he sounds so sincere, so passionate in his need to hash things out with you, but the only thing you can think about is that he also sounded sincere when he told you he was falling in love with you. When he said he’s never felt like this with anyone before. And what hurts and makes you want to cry is that you can no longer tell if any of it was real anymore.

You feel an urgent need to get away from here, to do whatever it is you need to do to get out of this situation and fast.

“I’m at work, Yunho,” you tell him, almost pleading in the way your voice takes on a shaky inflection. “Can you just…tell me what you want so I can get it to you and you can go?”

You didn’t mean to sound harsh, but you know the impact has been made when you look at Yunho’s face and see the disappointment on it. You watch as he realizes, perhaps for the first time, how badly he’s managed to hurt you. And with the weight of that realization, he clears his throat, and with a neutral, dull voice, reluctantly tells you his order.

You type it in stiffly, foregoing the pleasantries you’d usually use with customers. “$4.50, please.”

Yunho can see the way your hand just slightly trembles when he hands you his exact amount in cash, repressing the urge to reach out and steady it because he knows it would break you and he knows how much you’d hate to show emotion in public. So he remains quiet and takes his receipt, standing off to the side to wait for his drink.

You walk backwards to the counter where your coworkers are. Usually it would be your responsibility to make the drink of the customer whose order you took, but you can feel yourself beginning to break down, so you slide the empty cup for Yunho’s order over to an idle Lisa.

“You can handle this, yeah? I’m gonna go on break.”

Lisa stares at you incredulously, looking down at the plastic cup in your hand like it’s a vibrator or something else equally shocking. “Bitch, you literally just had a break.”

You don’t have the energy nor the desire to explain to Lisa your sudden lack of energy, so you just sigh as you place the cup down on the counter in front of her. “I need a second.”

“Are you okay?”

In your new friend’s eyes, you see the change from friendly playfulness to concern that you wish you could answer with honesty. But the lie is a whole lot safer, and feels better coming off of your tongue. “Yeah,” you reply, walking away from her before she can think to wonder otherwise. You take off your apron, slipping into the back storeroom where you’re free from the weight of Yunho’s gaze.

You stay in the storeroom for a few minutes, gathering yourself and trying to process everything that just happened. You take long, deep breaths, willing yourself to stay present and not regress into the version of yourself who would freak out about these things. You’re a different person now, you tell yourself. You’re not the little girl who got her foolish heart broken. You can face him and be just fine.

You repeat those words to yourself over and over until you eventually mange to convince yourself not only that you’re fine, but that you can walk out there and hand Yunho his drink without breaking a sweat. Maybe that will prove to him what you failed to prove in your initial interaction – that despite everything, you are, and will be continue to be, happy without him.

And so you walk out of the dark storeroom, into the light of the coffee shop, fully prepared to say all the things you couldn’t when you were assaulted with the shock of seeing him again. But in the 10 minutes that pass while you were in the storeroom, you look around, and Yunho is nowhere to be found.

His drink sits cold and untouched on the front counter of the coffee shop. Yunho has walked out on you, and though you never wanted to see him in the first place, his absence stings like a freshly opened wound.

No matter where you run to, there seems to always be a trace of Yunho. Work, which used to be a distraction, now fills you with dread at the thought that he might show up again. Outside of your bedroom window, his presence lingers in the memories of him climbing up the side of your house to take you on a date. On your desk is the wilted 4 leaf clover that he once gave to you. For some reason you haven’t thrown it away, instead watching it slowly rot in the absence of any life-sustaining support. Almost like it’s mirroring the feelings of affection you once had for him.

Laying down in your bed on a day off from work, you close your eyes and try to imagine what your life would be like if last summer never happened. If you hadn’t ignored your brother’s advice and fell hard for Yunho’s smile and sweet words. Is there anything you wouldn’t give to make that a reality? To not feel this hot mix of both rage and longing at the same time?

After trying and failing to block out any of these thoughts, you head out of your upstairs bedroom and towards the stairs in search of the kitchen, a pint of ice cream saved in the freezer for times like these where the regular distractions don’t seem to work.

As you enter the hallway, the relative silence initially suggests that you are home alone, which fills you with relief. With how fragile you’ve been feeling in these past few days, you’re afraid that just one annoying comment from your brother, or one concerned look from your mother, would be all it would take for you to break.

But as you start to walk down the first few steps of your stairs, the sound of the front door closing and two familiar voices stops you in your tracks.

“Dude, I don’t even think you realize how long I’ve been wanting to play this game,” he says casually, the familiar deepness of his voice making your stomach swoop.

“No, I know,” your brother affirms in response. “That’s why I had to hurry up and get it.”

Just the sound of Yunho’s voice makes your body go tense with dread. You see him standing at your front door with your brother, an image that, one year ago, wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary. But of course, that was before last summer happened. Before anything happened. So now, you freeze at the top of the stairs, about to make a run for it before they notice you’re there when suddenly, you’re spotted.

“...I only paid $60 for it too. I’m telling you, the girl at the GameStop loves me,” Kai explains to Yunho. And then, when he looks up after taking his shoes off, he sees you. “Oh. Hey, Y/N.”

You watch as the air between the two of them changes as soon as they register your presence. What was just a casual exchange between close friends becomes stilted on both sides, Kai looking at you like he’s just been caught stealing something while Yunho stares at you indignantly, wearing the same expression he did at the coffee shop when you first saw each other. Steely determination with just a hint of sadness and concern mixed in.

You stand stiffly and anxiously at the top of the stairs, not knowing what to say and trying to ignore the heavy feeling of Yunho’s gaze on your body. “Hi.”

“Me and Yunho were about to go upstairs and try this new game,” Kai tepidly remarks after a few moments of awkward silence, looking at Yunho who merely stares off distantly. “It’s not a problem, right?”

You’re bothered that Kai is making it seem like he has to okay things with you first before he can let Yunho into the house. What you must look like to Yunho right now, what pleasure he must be taking in seeing that he’s turned you into a deranged and broken shell of the vibrant girl you once were.

You need to get away from this scene now. You don’t think you can bear being the subject of their attention any longer, not when it feels yet again like you’re the little girl who crashed the party and ruined the mood for the two best friends.

“It’s fine,” you mutter. Suddenly forgetting what you came downstairs for in the first place, you turn on your heels and head back towards the safety of your bedroom.

What a joke. Not only has Yunho made your job inhabitable, but he’s now holding you hostage in your own house as you lay in your bed, hungry, too afraid to leave in fear of running into him.

You can’t exactly be mad at your brother for inviting him over. You did tell him that he didn’t have to sneak around in order to hang out with his closest friend anymore. But maybe you didn't consider just how bothersome it would be to be affronted with Yunho’s casual and frequent present in your house. Maybe you once again overestimated how fine you really are.

An hour passes, and outside, it begins to rain. The colorless sky sends droplets of water beating against your window, the mirroring of the thunderstorm and your current emotions not at all lost on you.

Looking to distract yourself from both hunger and heartache, you flip through the channels on TV and settle for a K-Drama you’ve already seen before. In it, the lead, an older woman of 50 years or so, is scandalized to find that her life-long husband has been cheating on her with a man. She files for a divorce, and rather than wilting in sadness like society may expect from her, she goes on to date a series of younger men. Each episode chronicles their adventures together, showing slowly but surely how she manages to get her groove back after what many would consider a life-altering betrayal.

You watch what was once a comfort show, making what you know to be juvenile comparisons to your own life, to your own utterly pathetic reaction to a similar betrayal. Why does it seem like even the TV show people live better lives than you?

A crack of lightning crackles outside of your window, and suddenly, everything turns black. Your TV. Your desk lamp. Your entire bedroom.

The lights have gone out. You hear commotion downstairs that seems to suggest it wasn’t just your bedroom that was affected.

Just as you’re about to get up and investigate, you hear the sound of feet shuffling a few rooms over. Knowing at least one of those sounds belongs to Yunho, you decide that maybe you’ll just use this time to go to sleep.

Your absence only goes unnoticed for a few minutes before the sound of your name being called reaches you through the walls. “Y/N!” your mother shrills. “Come help! I don’t know how to turn on my phone flashlight!”

You try to steel yourself as much as possible before you’re opening your bedroom door and heading out into the dark hallway. Almost at the same time, you hear the noise of another door creaking open and look over to see your brother and Yunho entering the hallway right after you.

With how narrow your hallway is, a choice must be made as to which person will be permitted to reach the stairs first, mostly to avoid awkwardly bumping into each other. You stand perfectly still at your own door, waiting for Yunho and Kai to move. In the dark, you’re just barely able to make out Yunho’s arms as they gesture for you to go in front.

“Ladies first,” you hear him say. His voice is soft and gentle, and even with the lights out, you can guess the sort of expression he’s wearing. The soft way he likes to look at you. The way even his most tepid and polite smile lights up his handsome features. You will yourself not to imagine it.

Saying nothing, you head downstairs where in the dark you accidentally bump into your mother at the foot of the stairway. She is swiping furiously at her phone in an attempt to turn her flashlight on, and as always is in awe of you as you perform the very simple mechanic with one fell swoop.

“Oh, thank you, my love,” she replies sweetly in gratitude, looking exasperatedly behind you. “Yunho, Kai, are you guys alright?”

You didn’t even notice that the two boys had made their way downstairs until you hear your mother mention them. Yunho, as always, is incredibly kind in the way he approaches your mother, knowing probably just as well as you that she is acting irrationally over a simple blackout and yet assures her of his and Kai’s safety just the same.

“Yunho, don’t you need to be checking on your grandparents?” your mother asks once she’s rummaged through the closet in search of a few candles.

“They’re fine. They’re out of town visiting friends this weekend,” he explains, leaning casually against the wall while you linger on the opposite side of your room, waiting for your mother to dismiss you so you can get the nap you’ve been waiting for.

“Alright then. Well I’m sure you’ll be staying here to wait out the storm,” your mother states, less of question and more of a command. He doesn’t argue about this and simply hums in reply as your mother helicopters around the living room, placing and lighting candles until everyone’s features come into view. “How about we all come out here in the living room while we wait for the power to come back on? Maybe we can play some games or something while we wait.”

Your aversion to your mother’s suggestion is immediate - the last thing you want is to be in the same room as Yunho right now. But you know your mother and you know that while the lights are out, she’d feel a whole lot better if she knew where all of you were. Even in you and your brother’s old age, she still never stops worrying and getting spooked by such things.

With the candiles lighting up the room, you watch as Yunho and Kai sit down on a couch on the far side of the room, and with a resigned sigh, you do the same.

Your mom ultimately ends up stepping out to the dining room a few doors down, calling the neighbors to see if their power has gone out as well. You can hear her asking loudly if they know when the electrical company is gonna come and whether or not they think this will be an all night thing.

With your mother talking on the phone with no end in sight, you’re left alone with Kai and Yunho in the living room. Trying to keep yourself occupied, you scroll mindlessly through your phone. Sitting on the couch across from you, Yunho and Kai make small talk that you try your hardest not to listen to. But with the boredom that overcomes you and the lack of anything interesting going on in your phone, you can’t help but overhear bits and pieces of their conversation.

And as you hear Yunho go into all of his excitement about going into his next semester at college, contrasting entirely with how miserable of an experience you’ve had at school so far, you can’t help the resentment that festers inside of you. You don’t want to hear anymore of it, so you get up to go to the kitchen.

“Where are you going, Y/N?” you hear Kai ask from behind you, his interest in your whereabouts perplexing until you hear his response to your next words.

“I’m getting some snacks.”

“Can you grab me some too?”

You mutter out something affirmative but don’t give him the chance to tell you what he wants, just needing to hurry up and get out of there before you hear anything else from Yunho.

Years of muscle memory serve as your guide as you reach the completely dark kitchen, hoping to indulge in the plethora of comforting snacks your mom keeps in her pantry. Outside, another crackle of lightning sounds that makes your whole body jump. The brief bit of light that it provides allows you to make out your favorite brand of fruit snacks, sitting on the highest shelf of the pantry.

Standing up on your tippy toes, you extend your fingers in an attempt to reach the shelf. When you fail to even reach the shelf below it, you look around for something you might be able to stand on. But in the dark, not only are you worried that you might end up slipping and hurt yourself, but you also can’t seem to find anything that could hold your weight.

Despite this, you try again and again from different angles to reach the box that is just out of your reach. Right when you’re about to give up, you feel the presence of a warm body behind you. Suddenly, a hand that isn’t your own comes up and grabs the box from the shelf with ease.

“These are the ones you wanted, right?”

How you didn’t hear or notice him entering the kitchen is beyond you. What concerns you most right now is the question of why it felt so comforting just now to feel his body close to you. Why his voice, as deep and smooth as ever, spoken into the depths of your ear is making your body react the way it is reacting right now.

Cloaked by the darkness, you hope Yunho doesn’t see or notice the deep shiver that runs through your body or hears the sharp inhale you take as you process the interaction. Realize that this isn’t a positive thing. That you shouldn’t be feeling this way. That you should be disgusted by his presence. Once all of these thoughts and reminders sink in, you turn around to face him, avoiding his eyes as you take the box of snacks from his hand.

“Thanks,” you mutter, refusing to display any sort of emotion as you walk away from him and back into the living room.

Returning to the living room, you are startled to find that the couch where your brother was just sitting has now been left completely empty.

“Where’s Kai?” you ask out loud. You’re not exactly sure who the question’s for. You don’t really want to speak directly to Yunho, and your mom is still somewhere on the phone. Maybe you thought that Kai was just lost in the dark somewhere, that it would be his voice to answer the call.

But instead, to your utmost irritation, it’s Yunho’s voice that you hear next. “He went to the bathroom.”

The reality of both your brother and mother’s absence settles in your body like a bad fever. There should be no way that after all of your efforts to avoid him, you’ve somehow found yourself in a situation where you are alone with Yunho. It’s so utterly ridiculous that you can’t even hold back the snarky remark that follows this realization. “Isn’t that just perfect?’

You are facing the living room, back turned to Yunho who is still standing in limbo at the entryway to the kitchen. Though you can’t see him, it’s as if you can hear the gears turning in his head as he fights to form the right words. Something in you just knows that he is preparing to use this moment to swoop in and say all of the things he’s been desperately trying to get you to listen to. But the last thing you want to do is allow him that satisfaction.

“Y/N, I–”

“No,” you interrupt, annoyed that he could even get your name out. “I don’t want to talk to you, Yunho. I don’t want to have this…big conversation with you.”

Even as the words leave your mouth, a part of you knows that no matter what you say or do, no amount of objection on your part could stop Yunho from saying what he believes will resurrect the affection that you once had for him.

“How can I ignore you when you’re all I can ever think about?” you hear him say from behind you, his voice quiet, sincere. “No matter where I go, or what I do, every place is a reminder of you.”

Frustratingly, Yunho has managed to so perfectly articulate the exact way you’ve been feeling about him since you’ve returned from school. Even after all of this time apart, he still has the sole ability to tell how you’re feeling before you even know it yourself.

You don’t dare turn around, knowing that seeing his face right now would break you. But you remain silent, and Yunho takes that as permission to keep talking.

“I…I miss you, Y/N,” he says next, his voice so soft that it’s almost rendered inaudible. “All I want is a chance to explain what happened.”

Something about his words causes you to turn around to look at him. His expression falls when he sees anger on your face as opposed to the understanding that your relenting silence suggested.

“Then why haven’t you tried to talk to me before now?” you demand from him, your voice rising without you even realizing it. “Why did I hear nothing from you the entire time I was at school?”

“That’s all I’ve been trying to do, Y/N,” he replies, sounding exasperated like he’s been bursting with the need to get these words out to you. “In August, when your brother first told me everything that had happened, the first thing I did was try to text and call you so I could explain myself. But everything went unanswered for weeks and I was sure that you had blocked me.” he pauses, waiting for you to correct him. “Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“I called your mom—” he continues, a humorless laugh leaving him as he recalls the story. “---and had to make up some lie about you accidentally leaving something in my car and needing to mail it back. She trusts me, of course, so she gave me your mailing address. I sent you letters, but they all were returned.”

You stew glumly with the knowledge that nothing he has said so far is wrong. When you first received an envelope with his name written on it, you immediately went to the mail center, requesting that they automatically return anything from the same address. It’s been easy to imagine that he gave up after seeing that the first one was returned, but his use of the plural letters doesn’t go lost on you.

“I was expecting to come here during Fall break and finally get the chance to speak to you. But you didn’t come home. It was the same thing for Winter and Spring break too.”

You watch Yunho’s face take a sympathetic expression, the candles around the room bright enough to illuminate the contours in his face as he stares sadly into your eyes.

“And that hurts me more than anything. Because I know that you’re pushing your family away and that it’s all because of me.”

You don’t say anything to him. But you can feel tears motivated by a mixture of both anger and sadness stinging their way to your eyes. Sadness because he’s right. Anger because he’s right. Anger at yourself as you’re forced to look down at the ground to hide your face, slowly losing the fight to not show any emotion in front of him.

“I need you to see that all I’ve been doing for the past year is trying to get to you. To talk to you,” he continues when you still don’t say anything. “You have no idea how hard it is to be cut abruptly out of the life of someone you were falling in love with.”

“I have no idea how hard it is?” you exclaim, finally interrupting him when you hear the implication of victimhood in his words. Though you intended to sound strong, you cringe at yourself internally when you hear out loud how broken your voice sounds. So when composure fails you, when you’re sure that you already look and sound crazy to Yunho anyway, you throw it all out of the window in favor of rage. “Are you fucking serious, Yunho?”

The shrill and rageful inflection that your voice takes has Yunho retracting from you, thinking that he was getting somewhere and now seeing just as deeply the hurt runs within you. He knows he shouldn’t be surprised or even affronted by your reaction to his words after what he’s done, and yet still his heart pangs with sadness. The urge to get passionate, to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, is strong. But he’s waited nearly a year for the chance to explain things to you, and he won’t squander it now by being careless with his words and actions.

So he takes a deep breath and is relaxed as he flatly tells you, “I know that your brother has told you some things about me. And I can explain them.”

The fact that an explanation is being offered rather than an outright denial only further causes it to sink in for you that Yunho really did do this. That there’s no going back to when things were perfect and you never had to concern yourself with any thoughts of disloyalty. Once again, you turn your body away from him, crossing your arms as all of the emotions come suddenly flooding back. You no longer care how small your voice sounds when you say, “If you’re here to tell me that it’s not true, then don’t. I already saw the pictures.”

Yunho is flooded with shame at the thought of you having to be directly faced with his mistakes. He wishes so badly that he could tell you that what you saw wasn’t true. But he can’t.

Because last summer, he made a mistake. And not in the way you probably think that he did. Being with you was one of the greatest decisions he could ever make for himself. But he came into last summer with a litany of complicated relationships that he created with women in college. Short, no-strings-attached relationships with women who he was admittedly careless with. One of them being the girl Kai showed to you.

When last summer started, he didn’t come home with any intention of starting something new, let alone something serious. But then you came along, innocent and sweet and so obviously drawn to him, he couldn’t help himself. Before he knew it, he could feel things getting serious with you. And for the first time in his life, he could see himself wanting to be good for someone. Being the faithful, caring boyfriend that he’s always wanted to be but could never bring himself to. He wanted to take things slow with you, not ruin things by being the reckless, promiscuous playboy he was prior to meeting you.

So after your first date, he decided to delete all of his social media pages. Completely cut off communication with the women he was involved with before you. He wasn’t thinking about the future, or if he was even good enough to be with you. He just liked that you were an escape from his regular life and never wanted it to end. Rather to tell you the truth of the life he was leaving behind in being with you, he concealed it in the hopes of you never changing your starry-eyed, devoted view of him.

But in his lovesick foolishness, he forgot that his life at college and the relationships he recklessly created there still loomed over him. And in the hands of his best friend, his hope of finally living up to being the man he wanted to be and making you his girlfriend, crumbled in front of him like a house of cards.

“I’m not here to tell you that it’s not true. I’m here to tell you that I’m sorry.”

At his words, you scoff. If sorry was something that you needed or wanted from Yunho, you would have listened to him a long time ago.

“Look…” he sighs, sounding desperate as if he can feel you slowly pulling away from him. “There is a side of me that I never wanted to show you. That I never wanted you to know about.

“I’m not…I can’t… be the boyfriend type. I can treat a girl amazing and do all of these things for her, but…I can’t…be anything more than that.”

You don’t know why, but somehow this admission feels like the most real thing Yunho has ever said to you. Like you’re witnessing your first genuine peek into the real him. You are disgusted by him yet simultaneously relieved to finally see something you can believe.

“But then I started to know you,” he softly mutters, right when you think he’s done talking and has left you with the image of a troubled fuckboy. An image that was easier to loathe and to hold a grudge against. But his next words only complicate things for you because like his previous ones, they sound entirely sincere.

“And for the first time in my life Y/N, I felt like I could be a good person. A good man, for you. Last summer meant everything to me. Whatever you may think about me right now, I need you to know that.”

You can hear Yunho’s footsteps behind you as he begins to slowly inch toward you. And for reasons you don’t understand, you make no move to avoid him.

“None of what I said or did with you was fake. I told you things that I’ve never talked about with anybody before,” he soberly proclaims, his voice sounding closer and closer with every word. “I was a better man with you than I’ve ever been with anyone else. And I felt more for you than I thought I was capable of doing with anyone, ever. I’m sorry that you had to see or know anything about me that would have ruined that for you.”

With every sentence, you can feel your defenses slowly melting away. Angry thoughts are replaced with conflicting images of blissful memories from last summer. The memories of a better time between the two of you become easier to hold onto when you begin to believe that, perhaps, he’s telling the truth – they weren’t fake. For some incredibly foolish, stupid reason, you believe him. And though every part of you knows that you should be mad at him right now, you can feel yourself softening at his words.

“But…I need you, Y/N.” His voice is shaky and desperate sounding in a way you’ve never heard him before. Sounding almost like a weakened animal, showing you his rawest and most natural form, breaking down in front of you for the first time. Revealing something sad and vulnerable and feral. “I don’t…like the person I am when I’m not with you. This past year has been the toughest time of my life.”

You’re processing a thousand emotions at once in a way that has left you motionless and unable to argue or reject any of Yunho’s advances. “And now, you won’t let me see you,” he continues, his voice dropped so low and so soft that you feel a shiver down your spine at the sound of it in your ear. “....you won’t let me touch you.”

You can feel Yunho’s presence directly behind your body. Your heart rate quickens as you feel his hand, slowly and apprehensively, reach out to graze against your hip. His touch is soft and fleeting, like he’s trying to test if you’ll move away from it or not before committing. But of course you don’t. How many times has he touched you like this? In someone’s backyard or leaned against the roof of his car or in your bedroom? Too many times for you to ever feel anything more than comfort from it, even with everything you know now.

When you don’t react to his hand on your hip, he comes closer. He leans his head into your neck. His lips hover over the skin of your shoulder, moving up your neck until he reaches the lobe of your ear. His lips never make contact with your skin, so all you feel is his breath, ragged and broken from the intensity of your interaction. Though every thought of Yunho in your brain is colored red, you cannot control your body and how affected you are by his touch. It would feel so good to give in to him, to allow yourself to be enveloped by his warmth.

You can’t will yourself to tell him to stop, all you can do is let out a feeble and shaky, “What do you want me to do, Yunho?”

You hear him swallow. “Look at me.”

You don’t move, but when he grabs your shoulders and turns you around, you don’t say anything or stop him. Immediately, when he touches you, a single, frustrated tear falls. It’s representative of the realization that you are still, very much so, putty in his hands. You’re so angry at him, and yet, he’s still the only person who can make you feel calm and safe like this.

You feel so confused. Why are you letting this happen? Why aren’t you screaming at him to let you go? You’re unable to find an answer before his hands come up to slowly unravel your arms so that they’re at your sides, fingers laced into his.

When he spots the wetness staining your cheek, he immediately moves to hold your face. The tender caress of his thumb against your skin is all it takes for you to fall apart, tears pouring down your eyes as you silently fight back sobs.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, ” he exclaims, his own voice raw and broken like he too is fighting back tears. “You were the single most important thing that had ever happened to me, and I fucked it up. I don’t deserve you, and I never have. But I need you,”

He wipes another falling tear off of your face.“The girl your brother told you about is a person I haven’t been close with in months. She and I weren’t together last summer, and I ended things with her for good—”

“Stop.”

Because when he tells you he wants you and touches you and reminds you of how he feels about you, you feel okay again. But when he explains and makes excuses about the girl you saw he was clearly close with, you can’t bear it, and you’re reminded of why you’re angry at him in the first place.

Was this all just a manipulation act? Him going down memory lane knowing the effect that it would have on you? Isn’t this what he’s always been good at – reading you, knowing your exact weaknesses, knowing exactly what to say to get you on your knees?

This is the reality he has forced you to operate in. No matter how much sympathy you may or may not feel for Yunho, you will no longer be able to decipher whether his actions are real or just another way to manipulate you. With this knowledge in mind, how could you ever trust him or listen to him again?

You jerk away from his touch, pulling his hands off of you. But he resists, fighting to hold onto your slippery forearms. “Y/N, please–”

“No!” you yell, pushing him off of you with all of the strength you can muster. “You can’t just break my heart and then come back trying to touch me and say sweet things that I know you don’t mean.”

He steps towards you, looking the most guilty and sad you’ve ever seen him as he watches you fall apart. “Of course I mean–”

“You broke me!” you shout, not even caring at this point how you look or who hears you. You are so done pretending that you’ve been okay, that you weren't completely shattered since what happened, and that Yunho isn’t the person responsible. Tired of pretending that he doesn't deserve to see what he’s turned you into, the monster he’s created.

“My relationship with my family is ruined because of you! I can’t even look at my fucking mom without being reminded of how much I hurt her by staying away for a year! And I did it because of how YOU made me feel!” you yell, words coming out in sobs, tears falling down your face, sounding deranged but not even caring or being conscious of it, unable to stop the words from coming out how they do. “I told you my biggest fears and insecurities! And now I can’t even look myself in the mirror anymore! Anytime a guy compliments me I’m always questioning it because you destroyed my trust! Not just in men, but in everyone.

“I will never be okay again! Don’t you get that? NEVER!”

When you’ve finished yelling, you can’t even take pleasure in the sad look on Yunho’s face. You even swear you see real tears watering his eyes. But you don’t care. None of it matters anymore. None of this matters anymore.

You wipe bubbles of snot away from your nose, taking deep breaths and willing yourself to calm down so that your next words are intelligible. “I thought I knew you. I thought I wanted you. But It doesn’t matter. Nothing you say matters. Because I realize now that the person I thought I liked is nothing like the real you. And I can no longer tell what’s real and what's fake anymore.”

The two of you stand still, frozen in time, frozen in place, not knowing what to say after you’ve both just ripped your hearts out for the other to witness. Now that you’ve both said and exposed the worst parts of yourselves, it becomes easy then to conclude that there isn’t an explanation out there that could possibly fix what’s been broken. Nothing left to say that hasn’t already been spoken.

It seems almost perfect, then, that only seconds after you’ve finished speaking, everything around you is illuminated. The TV sounds with the familiar ding that indicates it’s been turned on. The kitchen microwave lets out a decisive beat. A few rooms over, you hear an exclamation of joy from your mother.

“Perfect timing. Right when I get out of the bathroom, the lights come back on.”

From behind you, you hear your brother’s voice as he comes down the stairs. When he reaches you and Yunho in the living room, you watch his expression carefully as he scans the scene in front of him. If your tense body language wasn’t obviously indicative that something between you and Yunho happened while Kai was gone, your tear-stained cheeks and runny nose give it away.

“Is everything okay?” Kai asks apprehensively, looking back and forth between you and Yunho, who you don’t even bother to look at at this point.

You stay silent, waiting, almost daring Yunho to say something. And without seeing his face, you know he is looking at you and expecting the same. Wiping your cheeks with the back of your sleeve, you take a long breath before you walk past your brother and up the stairs. “Everything is perfect,” you lament, not even trying to hide the sarcasm in your voice that you know your brother would pick up on regardless of your intent.

You found out later that it was a fallen tree which caused the blackout, luckily creating little to no permanent damage to your house in the aftermath. But the impact that the night had on you, and your emotions, could not so easily be dismissed.

The days following the storm went by in a blur of sleepless nights, conflicting emotions, and unanswered questions. You spent most of that time in your room, and though you seldom allowed yourself to mull on the thought, a lot of that isolation was because of the fear that you’d perhaps run into Yunho again.

When you eventually did stumble out of your bedroom for some air, you almost tripped when you realized there was a box at the foot of your door.

You’re not sure how it got there but you bend down to grab it, curiosity overtaking you as you inspect what looks like an ordinary shoebox.

Bringing the box into your room, you sit down to open it and find a fat stack of envelopes. Scrawled over the blemished paper of the top envelope is messy handwriting that you immediately recognize.

It’s the letter you received from Yunho while you were at school. Except, you can see now that there are at least 70 of them in this box. 70 letters that were all returned without you ever knowing they were sent. And now Yunho’s speech about making several efforts to contact you rings more true than you’d ever thought it would.

You look down at the box of letters and feel a strong inclination to just discard them. Doing that would prove that you’ve moved on, that you are genuine in your stance that no explanation could possibly make you forgive him. You know that’s how you should feel.

But your fingers itch to open the first letter, and once you do, the others follow. You read every single one and take in each of Yunho’s emotions over the year in which you were apart. And as you spend your day reading and mulling over the content of the letters, you pray for clarity and that, no matter what, your inclination to not forgive Yunho will remain unchanged.

The shoebox of Yunho’s letters sat on your bathroom counter, untouched since the day you spent reading them. That was a few weeks ago, and since then you’ve been trying to burn any and all contemplation of Yunho from your mind. You don’t want to allow any of the groveling portrayed in his letters to sway the steely anger you’ve been trying your best not to forget.

The box of letters went into detail about all of the things Yunho confessed to you the night of the storm. The impressive roster of women he was seeing before you. His lack of commitment to them, which you assume he thinks must lessen the blow of his actions. His inability to inform you of their existence prior to beginning your relationship. His continued insistence that he wasn’t in contact with any of these women while you were together. The guilt he feels for breaking your heart.

Even if you were to trust the content of the letters, it wouldn’t change the fact that Yunho entered a relationship with you while he was tied to someone else. And no matter how much he tries to convey the juvenility of those ties, you still can’t forget the image of another girl sat on Yunho’s lap, posted just a few weeks before he pulled in front of your house last May with his charming smile and flirty words.

In the reflection of your mirror, you watch yourself adjust the draping of your work apron for the fifth time as you prepare to head in for another shift at the cafe. Yunho hasn’t came back since you first saw him there, and burying yourself in work is one of the few ways you’ve managed to keep your mind off of him for a few mind-numbing hours.

As you change your focus to your hair, mussing at the messy strands that pour out of your uniform hat, your brother’s reflection comes into view. He leans against the door you forgot to close, watching you with a wistful expression on his face. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

You shrug your shoulders in reply. “Well, I’ve had to work.”

“I honestly don’t understand why you work so much,” Kai remarks, absentmindedly picking a piece of lint from the back of your uniform shirt. “It’s not as if you have any kids or responsibilities.”

“Well, I’d just rather be doing something with my time, other than sitting around the house all day.”

“Ouch,” your brother quips, jerking away from you in feigned offense. You realize how your remark might’ve sounded pointed given how much of a homebody he’s been these days. You can’t find it in yourself to feel sorry for him, though – you have a feeling that his isolation is motivated by the assumption that you’d be hurt if he brought Yunho over the house again.

And sure, he’s not wrong. Still, you don’t like your brother making any sort of assumption about your feelings towards Yunho.

“You wouldn't have to be stuck in the house all day if you would just go hang out with Yunho,” you accuse, turning away from the mirror to look into his actual eyes. “I know you think you’re doing something for me by pretending to not be friends with him, but I keep telling you, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

Kai itches to bring up the tense moment he walked in on the night of the storm which largely contradicts your narrative. But instead, he only shrugs.

“Whatever you say,” he mumbles, quickly moving to change the subject. “Are you going with mom on her trip this weekend?”

You were originally planning to accompany your mother on her trek to a lake town a few miles away, where every year she reunites with her college friends. But now, just thinking about the trip reminds you of the time you spent there with Yunho, when all you want to do is forget.

“No,” you answer promptly, gathering your things as you prepare to leave the bathroom. “But I hope you have fun hanging out with a bunch of middle aged women who won’t let go of their college days.”

Realizing how uncharacteristically harsh you sound but not finding it in yourself to care, you ruffle your brother's hair, muttering a “See you later,” as you head past him and down the stairs.

“See you later,” he mutters back, feeling like he knows the real reason why you don’t want to go on your mom’s trip this year.

“Y/N, you’re not even on the schedule.”

Those are the words you’re greeted with as you clock into work for the 5th time this week. Not a thank you or even a polite hello like you were expecting.

“I know,” you tell Wooyoung, already moving to prepare a waiting customer’s drink, “but there’s always something that needs doing, and I’m already here.”

You wait expectantly for your manager’s silhouette to escape from your view, but to your annoyance, he lingers. “Not today, there’s not. We’re training newbies, and they can’t get trained if you’re doing all the work.”

“Then I’ll do inventory in the back,” you decide, and when you look up to find Wooyoung staring at you impatiently, you falter. “What?”

“You’re here everyday, Y/N. And I can see it’s beginning to wear on you. You’ve been extra cross lately to the point where customers are sensing an attitude.”

You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you’re not able to get anything out. Seeing this, Wooyoung smirks in vindication. “You need to take some time off.”

“But I’m fine,” you tell him, and for a moment it suddenly dawns on you that you’ve been saying that phrase a lot lately. What can’t anyone seem to believe you?

“Like I said, I’ll do inventory, and then I won’t have to interact with custom—”

“Take some time off or I’m firing you.”

It was those words combined with the stern look that Wooyoung gave you that let you know he was being serious. So, not given any choice, you clocked out of work after a whopping 5 minutes logged, heading home to start a prescribed 3 day vacation.

Day one was fine. You completed your daily ritual of laying in bed and watching TV, happy to waste the day away with mind-numbing entertainment. Your mother came in to check on you only to see if you changed your mind about not wanting to go on the trip.

“Are you sure, baby? I know you were sick last year and couldn’t really experience the bulk of the trip,” she cooed over your lazy, bed-ridden body, but you just assured her that you had some TV shows to catch up on and would listen to all of her usual stories when she got back.

On your second day off though, you began to pray for something, anything, to cure the boredom that was making every second feel like molasses. WIth the absence of your brother and mother, the house was quieter than usual, and you were running out of shows to rewatch.

Your saving grace came in the form of your coworker, Mingi, who texted you just as you were about to take what would be an unnecessary nap. Typed with far too many emojis was a question that ultimately boiled down to, “Heard Wooyoung gave you the day off - do you wanna go to a party tonight?”

Without thinking, you replied with an enthusiastic, “yes.” So now, on a Saturday night, you’ve suddenly found yourself standing outside of someone’s respectable-looking house, dressed in something far too skimpy for the night time cold. Luckily, you were standing next to Mingi, whose shorts and tank-top combo made you look like a nun in comparison.

“I’m so happy you came out with me tonight,” Mingi told you, holding a pregame water bottle of tequila in his hand as he led you up the porch of the house.

“You’ve been working at the cafe for a while now and it feels like I barely know you. You only tell us the good things; I need to get you drunk so I can hear your war stories and your scars and soliloquies.”

You rolled your eyes at him, forgetting whatever snarky comment you were going to say back as you walked into the chaos of the party. When you immediately said yes to Mingi’s invite, you forgot one incredibly key detail – you hate parties. You hate the smell of alcohol on other people’s breath, hate the loud music that makes it hard to hear anyone, hate the casual disrespect of having smoke blown into your face everywhere you turn. And yet all of it is here, standing right in front of you as you walk into the practically vibrating foyer of the house.

“Let’s go wherever the drinks are,” you quickly tell Mingi, because if you’re going to be here, you’d at least like to do so in a state that is mildly unconscious of what’s going on around her.

He leads you through the crowd of dancing bodies into a kitchen, where a large storage container is placed on the counter island and relievedly still half-full with something red. Immediately as you go to pour yourself a cup of it, an unrecognizable silhouette comes into your peripheral view.

“Hey gorgeous,” the voice belonging to the silhouette says beside you, his voice sticky and dripping with the kind of liquid schmooze that only several drinks can get you. “All the drinks down here are watered down. Mind if I take you upstairs to get something stronger?”

You fight the urge to outwardly cringe at the stranger’s attempts at getting you by yourself, drunk and vulnerable and forced to listen to his nasally voice all night long. “No thanks,” you reply meekly, taking your drink and heading in the opposite direction.

You quickly go and find Mingi, who was in a different part of the kitchen helping himself to another container of mystery juice. As you wait for him to finish making his drink, you’re suddenly compelled to take a real look at the man in front of you. Mingi is a lot taller than you, and it shows in his lean psychique that expertly fills in the fabric of his clothes. He is decently attractive in a way you haven’t noticed before. At this moment you realize that you really like Mingi. He’s a good guy who's fun to work with and clearly has an interest in you outside of work, because otherwise he wouldn’t have invited you. Why not take this chance to get to know him better?

You wait for him to turn away from the kitchen counter to tug on the side of his shirt, getting his attention. “Do you wanna dance?”

He says something back, but you can’t hear him over the music. You choose to believe it was something affirmative as you drag him onto the dance floor, and it seems like you’re right because he doesn’t do anything to stop you. He takes his place behind you and maintains a light hold on your waist as you move against him. The speakers are blaring and your blood is racing from the initial effects of your first few sips of alcohol. And right now, you’re having a decent time just allowing yourself to dance and not think of anything – or anyone – else at all.

When the song switches to something more mid-tempo, you turn around to face him, draping your hands around his neck. “Thank you for inviting me out tonight.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies languidly. The way he looks at you makes it seem like he’s surprised by your sudden assertiveness but not entirely opposed to it. “I could tell that something’s been weighing on you lately, so I hope I could help you decompress.”

You nod, but don’t say anything else. You don’t want to get into the details of what’s been weighing you down lately, or even process the fact that your melancholy has been so obvious that he’d notice it.

But to your dismay, he continues. “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, Y/N, but I want to help.”

You can hear in Mingi’s voice that he’s being sincere. But he should know that the middle of a dance floor at a party isn’t really the best place to get into feelings. You turn your face in another direction, pretending not to hear him. And as you look over, you notice that the people on your right have suddenly stopped dancing. Over the music, you hear the sounds of several people making annoyed remarks about something that’s happened. Mingi lets go of your waist, his interest suddenly piqued at the scene as well. And when the crowd of people clears, you see someone you both recognize.

Yunho, standing in the middle of the departed group of partygoers.

Yunho looks bitterly at the people surrounding him, his eyes hooded with annoyance. When he sees you among them, his eyes suddenly meet yours in a moment of suspended tension.

Neither of you have the chance to process the presence of another before Yunho doubles over and vomits all over the carpet. Your nose is overwhelmed with the smell of sick. The people around you jump away from him, muttering complaints of, “dude can’t handle his liquor,” and “he’s been acting crazy all night,” as they find another place to continue their celebrations.

It doesn’t take an expert to see that Yunho has clearly had way too much to drink. Even after he’s finished throwing up half of his body weight, he staggers in his attempts to stand up straight and almost trips into his own throw up. He’s spilled something all over his shirt and you can assume from the way the crowd talked about him that he must’ve been picking a drunken fight with someone.

“Hey,” Mingi calls out to you, and at the sound his voice, you look up and notice you’re some of the only people who stuck around to witness Yunho’s drunken staggering. “is that your friend that came to the cafe before?”

“Yeah,” you remark timidly. “It is.”

The loud music from before got turned down sometime during the commotion and you can hear Yunho cursing under his breath as he attempts to get his bearings. Still frozen in bewilderment, you watch as Mingi walks up to Yunho and tries to help him up.

Yunho aggressively jerks away from your coworker’s touch. “Get your fucking hands off of me.”

“Dude, calm down. I’m just trying to help you.”

“Yeah, well I don’t need your help,” Yunho mumbles out, stumbling on his way to the nearest wall that he uses to stable himself. You’re still just watching passively as he embrasses himself, and you’re honestly surprised that Mingi still tries to help him come to his senses.

“Look at yourself,” he remarks, nodding in your direction. “You’re embarrassing yourself in front of your friend.”

Yunho wills himself off the wall to push Mingi away from him. “Is that what she told you? That we’re just friends?”

You’re unsure and uncomfortable with how this interaction suddenly feels like a pissing match with you at the center of it. Feeling the tensions rise between the two men, you force yourself to speak. “Yunho, stop–”

“Look I don’t know what your problem is and I don’t care, I was just trying to help you not pass the fuck out,” Mingi retorts, interrupting you. His body is completely angled to Yunho so that he’s not even paying attention to you anymore, and it makes you even more annoyed.

“I bet you try to help Y/N all the time don’t you?” Yunho spits, sounding bitter and jealous and showing an ugly side of himself that you’ve never bore witness to before. “If you’re the guy she’s trying to replace me with, then that’s really fucking sad.”

Mingi takes a step closer, getting in Yunho’s face. “I don’t fucking know who you are, but if you don’t get the fuck out of face—”

“Mingi, stop.”

You don’t know if it's the meager tone of voice you unconsciously take on or the small tug you give on the hem of his t-shirt, but either way, Mingi stops and turns his attention to you. “You want me to stop?”

You see confusion painted all over his face and you wish you had an explanation for why you don’t just let Mingi tear into your ex whose safety should be of no consequence to you.

“I’m sorry I, but…you shouldn’t be involved in this,” you whimper, wishing you could ignore the pity you feel when you see Yunho’s drunken figure sag against the wall tiredly. “I appreciate your help, but I just need to get him home before he hurts himself.”

Mingi takes hold of your shoulders, stepping in front of you so that Yunho is completely covered from your view. “You don’t need to help this guy Y/N. I know I don’t know what the full story is here, but I can tell since I first met the guy that he’s an asshole. I invited you here to have fun, you don’t have to leave because of him.”

You look down at your feet, feeling shameful under your friend’s concerned and loving gaze. “I know.”

“And besides,” Mingi says, taking a quick glance at the now sunken man behind him. “How do you plan to get a drunk, 6 foot guy out of a crowded party?”

As Yunho staggers to the floor behind Mingi, you see his car keys dangling out of his jean pocket. Almost regretfully, you move away from Mingi’s hold and reach down to swipe the keys from Yunho.

“Like this,” you turn around to tell him, draping Yunho’s heavy arm over your shoulder. “I can’t just leave him here like this. I’m sorry, Mingi.”

You try not to even look at Mingi’s face as you walk past him, half-walking and half-dragging Yunho’s limp body as you manage to get out of the living room and into the foyer. The crowd of people dancing by the front door practically clear a way for you to exit, perhaps gleeful to see him go after the trouble he’s caused.

Yunho, though only half-lucid of what’s going on around him, would be lying if he said he didn’t feel incredibly happy to even be interacting with you right now. But as the cold, nighttime air hits his skin and you prop him up on the passenger side of his car, the embarrassment of being seen like this begins to sink in.

“How did you even plan on getting home? Were you going to drive drunk?”

He shrugs, and you shudder to think that he intended to put himself in danger like this. In a dark part of your brain, you can almost imagine him swerving on a highway, disoriented and calling you on the phone in the hopes that you’d come and save him. The thought angers you.

“You didn’t have to do this for me, you know,” he tells you once you’ve managed to get him into the car, his words sleepy and slurred. You gave up on trying to put a seatbelt over him, so you settled for just allowing him to lean tiredly against the dashboard.

“Of course I know that,” you bitterly retort, your grip on the steering wheel growing tight as you become annoyed at his attempts to sweet-talk you. You didn’t do this because you had any positive feelings left for him. You did it because you know that if you were drunk and disoriented at a party, you’d want something to do the same for you. “Don’t mistake my kindness for forgiveness.”

“I’m not,” he slurs out. “But even your kindness is a surprise to me at this point.”

You fight to keep your eyes trained on the road and not rolled to the top of your head in annoyance. You hate when Yunho makes comments like that because it feels like there’s an expectation in them. An expectation for you to pity him or be somehow satisfied that he recognizes he’s an asshole. His own recognition of his faults is useless to you – he’s done enough for you to see that on your own.

“W-Where are you taking me?”

For the majority of the drive, Yunho had remained quiet, his head buried in his arms as he napped against the dashboard. Now, he suddenly sits up and seems alert of his surroundings.

“Where else?” you ask, and when Yunho bemusedly doesn’t respond, you decide not to be needlessly withholding. “I’m taking you to your house.”

You make a turn on the street right before Yunho’s. To your surprise, he rests his hand over yours on the steering wheel. “Wait, don’t.”

You jerk away from his touch, but nonetheless slow down so that you’re parked by the sidewalk just before his driveway. “Why not?”

“I…” he takes a long pause, and with each second you grow impatient and begin to wonder if he’s purposely drawing this out so that he can stay with you longer. “I can’t go home. If my grandparents see me, they’ll..they’ve never seen me like this before. They can’t see me like this.”

It seems unexpected for Yunho to be hiding something from his grandparents. After all, you’ve always known him as the reliable, stand-up grandson that no one in your neighborhood had anything bad to say about, the boy who could always be seen making sure his elderly caretakers were okay. But something in Yunho’s voice tells you that he’s being genuine. You think of his grandparents and how they might really not know the type of worrying things their grandson gets up to you when he’s not around. And at the realization that you must now find another place for Yunho to sleep off his drunken stupor, you bang your head against the steering wheel in annoyance.

“Isn’t it exhausting?” you let out in a frustrated yell, suddenly wishing you had never burderned yourself with getting him out of the party in the first place. “Having to pretend to be a good person and keep up this fake persona all of the time knowing it’s not who you are?”

Yunho doesn’t respond. As he remains silent, you sigh and weigh your options. You could leave and let him sleep in his car. Sure, it would be a tight fit, but Yunho’s comfort is ultimately meaningless given that he’s made the choice not to go home on his own.

But then you look at him, and something in your heart tugs. For some reason, your brain goes back to the place it was when you first got to his car and realized he went to the party with no plan of how to get back home. Images of a drunk Yunho driving his car come back to you and suddenly you’re worried for his safety, afraid to leave him alone to his own evidently destructive volition.

“You can sleep in my room. But you’re gone first thing in the morning.”

He looks grateful, but is smart not to push it by being excessively complimentary. “Your room? Are you sure?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” you assert quickly, knowing the places his mind could be going at the thought on being in the same bed as you. The only reason why he’s not sleeping in another room – like your mom’s or Kai’s – is because Kai has the odd and frankly questionable habit of locking his room when he’s away. And your mother, ever observant, would notice if something was even slightly out of place in her room. The last thing you need is for her to question you about who's been in the house in her absence.

“You’re sleeping on the floor. I have some extra blankets on pillows you can use.”

You can see on his face that he fights the urge to laugh. “Thank you.”

You turn away from him, willing yourself to keep a stony exterior as you mumble, “Don’t mention it.”

You park the car in your own driveway and head in towards your house. The drive must have sobered him up, because Yunho no longer has to lean on you to stand up straight. Or maybe he was fine this whole time, but before used his drunkenness as an excuse to be in close contact with you, and now knows not to push it. Gosh, are you making a mistake by letting him into your space voluntarily? Lord knows that the last time he was in your house, he managed to make you feel confused and upset for weeks. Whatever the case may be, you’ve made it to your front porch now. Too late to turn back. And besides, whether you hate him or not, you can’t justify leaving a 6 foot drunk man out on the street in the middle of the night. He already proved he’d be willing to endanger himself and others by driving home drunk. You don’t know what he’d do if he was left alone.

You let Yunho lead the way to your upstairs bedroom, which he finds with no issue. As you move to tidy up the space, he stands anxiously in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with himself.

As he waits for you to go fetch some spare pillows and blankets, he looks around the room that used to be so familiar to him. You’ve changed quite a few things in his absence. Some of it he thinks is just a result of going to college and taking most of your decorations to your dorm with you. But he also notices the absence of your family photos, all of the personal things that let him know early on how sentimental you were. It makes him sad, but then he notices that you still have the four leaf clover he gifted you last summer sitting in a plate amongst some jewelry. It’s placed at the very back of your desk, where you’d be least likely to notice it if you were sitting there.

You come back to the room a few moments later with an assortment of blankets in your arms, which you lay out on the floor for him to sort through himself later. You’re about to move away from him, but then you notice he’s still wearing his outside clothes. Almost out of habit, you go to remove them before you even know what or why you’re doing it.

You take off his hat, his jacket, his jewelry, all of the things he usually wouldn't sleep in. He doesn’t ask you what you’re doing, knowing he’s already put you through enough trouble at this point. He knows you like to be useful, so he lets you.

After you’ve finished folding up his things and placing them neatly on your dresser, you awkwardly instruct him on where he can find a spare toothbrush should he feel like wiping the vomit off his breath. “I can show you the guest bathroom if you need to freshen up,” you tell him, standing by the door. “Well, I guess you’ve been here enough to find it yourself.”

He can feel the tension vibrating off of your body, but rather than remarking on it, he nods. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You nod in response, repressing the need to say more, to address any of the tension that you can feel. You can’t stand to be in his gaze any longer, so you gather up some clothes, heading out to take a shower.

When you return, Yunho is lying down, but he’s awake. You can see his face lit up by the screen of his phone. You don’t address him in any way as you step over his long legs to get into your bed. Moving under the covers, you’re not surprised at the fact that you’re not really tired. Even though it’s been a long night, your mind is racing with thoughts on everything that’s transpired. It’s also hard to relax, to feel safe with another presence – Yunho’s presence, especially – just a few feet away from you.

You can hear the sounds of Yunho turning and moving, so you know he’s fighting sleep, too. The petty part of you starts to think that he’s in some kind of silent competition with you, as to who will go to sleep first. But even in your head, the notion sounds absurd, like something that’s been made up. Just as you feared; with time, the grudges have become harder and harder to hold.

“Y/N, are you awake?”

Yunho’s gravelly, half-sleep voice resonates from the foot of your bed. You almost think to ignore him and pretend to be sleeping. But yet, you’re surprised at the sound of your own voice as you mutter a quiet, “Yes.”

At first, he doesn’t say anything in reply, and you begin to wonder why he said anything in the first place. But then, “Did you get my letters?”

You question his intentions with this remark but nonetheless see no reason to withhold the truth. “Yes.”

“Did you read them?”

That’s a question you feel less compelled to answer. If he knew you read the letters, then he’d also know that some part of you had a desire to hear him out. A part of you that still has wonders and questions and thoughts about the end of your relationship, far beyond the indifferent and cold version of yourself you’ve been trying to present.

When you don’t answer, you expect him to elaborate on their contents anyway. It would be a waste of his time – you already read each of every letter over and under, know everything there is to know about the year he spent groveling for your forgiveness.

But to your surprise, his next words go in a different direction. “There is a part of me that genuinely cares for you and wants to love you like you deserve to be.”

You await his next words on baited breath. Because if his desire to love you were all that it was, then you wouldn't be in this position in the first place.

“But there is another part of me that’s broken,” he continues. “And I don’t think that part will let me be with someone without hurting them.”

There’s a slight slur in his voice, a symptom of his lowering inebriation, but his tone is blank and his words are unbroken, which makes you assume sincerity. You’re certain that he’s telling you something he wouldn’t if he were sober. And the reminder that he’s not fully lucid has you more willing than usual to respond to him, hoping he might forget this in the morning.

“Then why are you still pursuing me?” you ask, hearing your voice come out dewy and vulnerable in a way that you resent but can’t help in this moment. “Why are you trying to get me to forgive you when you admit that you don’t have the capability to be with someone? Don’t you see how cruel that is?”

There is a long pause, and now you start to feel stupid for responding genuinely to someone who clearly wasn’t being serious or coherent in his initial words to you.

But then he speaks, and what comes out affects your heart in a way you weren’t expecting.

“Because the only time I feel like I’m not broken is when I’m with you. When I’m with you, I suddenly can imagine living up to being the good person everyone around me wants me to be.”

You hear him move, and without seeing him, you imagine that he’s turned so that he’s facing you. “Being with you taught me how to love. And I guess, perhaps selfishly, I haven’t quite figured out how to let that go.”

You don’t say anything else. And you think that perhaps Yunho needed to get that out, because only a few minutes later, you hear the soft snores that tell you he’s fallen asleep.

You're woken up the next morning by the sound of sheets rustling below you, and in your half-alertness, you initially panic. But then the memories from the night before come flooding back to you, and when you blink your eyes open, you’re not surprised to see Yunho up and folding up his comforter at the foot of your bed.

Your room has gotten suddenly hotter in the time between last night and this morning. You kick your own itchy comforter off of your body, alerting Yunho to your wake.

“Good morning,” he says to you, his voice scratchy and hoarse. You get the feeling that he didn’t sleep too well last night. Neither did you.

You mutter out a similar greeting, sitting up in your bed and stretching your tired limbs. In the corner of your eye, you can see Yunho taking a pause from what he was doing, waiting as if to see if you're going to say anything else to him. Perhaps address anything that went on last night. But you don’t, so he continues gathering up his pillows from the floor.

The silence between the two of you is heavy, awkward. Before last night, you weren’t in communication with Yunho. But last night changed things in a way that’s hard to articulate. He said things to you that still linger in your mind`and it doesn’t feel right to just dismiss him from your house and go back to ignoring him as if nothing has happened. But what do you say, what do you do to articulate your complex feelings?

“I need your help.”

“I was gonna go–”

You and Yunho both speak up at the exact same moment, meeting each other's gaze in a surprised stare. WIthout hearing the rest of his sentence, you assume he was about to announce that he was leaving. But for the first time in months, you don’t actually want that.

“I’m sure you can probably feel it. How hot it is in here, I mean,” you state blankly, picking at a loose thread on your shorts as to avoid his gaze. “I think the AC’s broken. It’s gone out a couple of times this summer. You’re the only person I know who can fix these kind of things so…”

You pause, biting back the end of your sentence because of how it would mean you’d be asking Yunho for something. And it’s quite possibly the worst feeling ever, to be so mad at someone and still need them. Yet, that might be the most accurate way to explain how you’ve been feeling in these past few months.

Luckily for you, Yunho has always been good at reading you, knowing when to step up as you require it. “What do you need?” he asks, without any pretense or flattery. Just seeing that he’s needed and jumping in to help. Like he always has when it comes to everyone, but especially when it comes to you.

“If you could just stay for a little bit longer and fix it, I’d appreciate it,” you tell him meekly, only briefly able to hold his gaze before dropping your focus to your feet. Looking at Yunho directly just feels too intense, brings up too many emotions in your chest that you’re not ready to feel anytime soon.

You hear the soft plop of him laying his folded blankets and pillows down on your dresser, and then he’s at your door, waiting for you to follow him out. “Yeah sure,” he says softly. “It’s no problem.”

You follow Yunho downstairs to your kitchen, where a shoddy closet you never open holds the control system to your air conditioning. You point him to a box of tools your mother keeps in her kitchen cabinet, a location you’re only privy to because you once had to fix the hinge of your bedroom window after Yunho broke it by climbing through it.

Yunho gets to work immediately, and you watch his whole demeanor change as he absorbs himself in the task at hand. He becomes incredibly slack-jawed and focused as he searches for the problem in what, to you, looks like a maze of wires and screws. You can’t help him, so you’re not really sure what to do with yourself. You ultimately resign to pulling up a stool from your kitchen, sitting down and thinking of what you’re really doing by letting him stay here for this long.

Your thoughts can’t help but linger on the conversation you had with Yunho last night. He didn’t say anything to you that he hasn’t said before, or hadn’t harped on in his letters. But what made last night different is that you realized he hadn’t just been fooling you. His grandparents, the people he loved the most, were also being kept in the dark and seeing a false version of who their loved-one really was. You could tell this just by seeing the fear in his voice when he thought they might see him drunk and vulnerable.

Hiding from the people that love you is more than just something you do on a careless whim. It’s something you do when something deeper is troubling you. And as much as you hate that you do, the curiosity to know more has been gnawing at you and you can’t help but be sympathetic.

“I think I’ve found the problem,” he mutters out to you, whipping a washcloth you gave him over his shoulder. “It shouldn’t take me any longer than 30 minutes to fix.”

You nod, humming absentmindedly so he knows you’ve heard him. But in the back of your mind you’re fighting the parts of you that want nothing to do with him and the part that is dying to know why Yunho has been hiding the way he has.

And when the part of you that is dying to know more just doesn’t let up, you let out a sigh before turning in your stool to better face Yunho.

“You are a golden child. You are the sweet, kind-hearted young man that takes care of his elderly grandparents and fixes air conditioning systems and cuts grass for the people too old to do it themselves.”

It’s hard not to drop everything he’s doing at the sound of your voice in his ear. It’s been close to forever since you’ve spoken to him directly without his initiative. But rather than become emotional and scare you into silence, he continues what he’s doing and waits patiently for you to finish your thought. Because he knows that something crazy would have to happen for you to say something positive about him without following it up with something hurtful. Not after everything he’s put you through.

“But then you’ve proven to me that you can lie to me, lie to the people you claim to love the most,” you say aloud, not even looking at Yunho, almost not even speaking to him, feeling more so like the thoughts you’ve been suppressing for months are spilling out of you without any subject in mind.

“That you can get so drunk that you’d black out. That you can have a girlfriend while claiming to be falling in love with me. That you can live this double life.”

By the time you’ve finished your sentence, Yunho has turned to face you, abandoning the AC entirely. And he almost wishes he didn’t, because it stings – hearing and seeing the hurt in your voice and face.

“I just can’t process it or understand it. And I think that’s why I’m having so much trouble getting over you. Because I’m still mourning the version of you that’s good and kind while trying to accept the version of you that isn’t.”

It’s hard for Yunho to know what to say once you’ve laid everything out to him. A reality that he’s never wanted is staring him in the face – you’ve seen both sides of him, and been hurt by the side he never wanted you to know about. He’s no longer in a position where he has the luxury to choose between withholding and vulnerability. He decides to be something he should have always been with you — honest.

“That version of me that you see, the good person – I’m not some psychopathic, double agent. It’s not as if I turn the good side of me on and off like a light switch. What you saw from me last summer was very, very real.”

He leans up against the door of your kitchen closet, his head tilted in contemplation. “It’s just that…sometimes I feel…suffocated…by all of the expectations that are put on me.”

You’re surprised that those were the words to come out of Yunho’s mouth. He never hinted at any of these struggles during your relationship. You hold onto his every word in search of something you can hold close to your heart, something that you can know for sure is real.

“People don’t really seem to understand the burden that comes with having to take care of your elderly grandparents, knowing that you don’t have anyone else to rely on for help,” he confesses, his eyes growing glassy and unfocused. “Having to watch them lose their basic facilities in subtle ways…forget their things…get stuck on a simple word…not seem to remember things that happened recently…”

He trails off, but is brought back to life when he meets your gaze. Sees that you’re still listening and haven’t dismissed him yet.

“And then, I decided I wanted to get my degree on top of that,” he chuckles humorlessly, running a hand through his messy hair. “So I have to juggle my academic responsibilities – basically paying my way through school – on top of being what my grandparents need me to be, plus what all my friends and family expect me to be.”

You listen to Yunho talk silently and as you wait on baited breath for him to slip up and say something disingenuous, all you hear instead is the true words of someone who you’re saddened to hear has been suffering in silence.

He stutters out the beginning of his next words, getting lost in the tangle of his own thoughts. “The only time I’m not worried about what other people need me to be is when I’m miles away, at school. When I’m there, I’m wanted in a different way. People are attracted to me not because of what I can do for them, but for what they wish to do to me.”

It becomes clear to you what he’s referring to, and you can feel your body growing tense, almost as if you’re internally bracing yourself for what you’re expecting to hear next.

“And for a long time, I’ve been embracing that attention. I would date a girl and treat her as the loving, doting boyfriend. But whenever it became clear that she expected commitment in return, I backed away and started dating someone else. I didn’t want to have one more person who needed me. And I did it without fully severing the connection so that I could still benefit from the attention, sometimes the craziness.”

He looks away from you, and at first you’re inclined to believe he’s embarrassed. After all, this is the first time he’s alluded to his debauchery in any way to you. But then, you see something in his eyes go dark, and he almost whispers out his next words, as if they’re hard to say out loud.

“There is a part of me that, deep down, likes seeing how much I can hurt someone, and watch them crawl back to me. I don’t know how else to explain it besides using the word powerful.”

Despite the dark look in his eyes, it doesn’t look as if Yunho takes in any pleasure in saying these words. He just looks grim, like this is a reality that he’s accepted but is still embarrassed to embrace.

“And so,” he continues, taking in a long, deep breath, “When I’m at school, I get into some…wild things. And it’s fun. It’s nice not having to take on the burden of other people’s feelings. I get to be selfish and only care about my own.”

It’s hard not to feel angry now, even with the sympathy that you feel for him. How could you not, when he’s just openly admitted how much fun he has hurting people and how boring it is to be faithful to someone?

“So that’s it, then?” you ask, not able to hold back the bitterness behind your words. “Being with me, being a good person…it all felt like a burden to you?”

“No, not with you,” he asserts, and not in the usual gooey, flattery way that he would say just to get you to calm down or just to get you to give him. He says it blankly, like it’s just an irrefutable fact of life.

“Being with you was the first time in my life where I felt like I could breathe. Like I could be this person everyone wanted me to be because I had you motivating me to be that person. From the first moment I saw you that summer, I was drawn to you,” he explains, words tumbling over each other like the feelings are catapulting their way out of his throat.

“I could be myself around you. I felt safe telling you all of my insecurities. Still do, as you can see,” he says, with a slight chuckle, and you feel your own lips twitch with the urge to smile. “Maybe it’s because I’ve known you all of my life, even if we weren’t as close as we got last summer. You’ve been a part of my memories since before I could form words.”

His words seem to resurrect some of the butterflies in your stomach that you thought were long dead for Yunho. But just as he manages to surprise you with his softness, his expression once again goes grim as he relays his next words. “But the problem was that I didn’t think to resolve some of the problems I created back at school before I entered into a relationship with you.”

Yunho takes what feels like a final, affirmative pause, and you take the time to pour over all of this information in your mind. So far, your heart has you inclined to believe everything he’s saying. But your brain, ever naggy, aches with the idea that he could be saying all of this just to get back into your pants. And for why, you’re not exactly sure; from what he’s told you, it doesn't sound like he has any trouble getting romantic attention in his daily life. So what would you possibly mean to him when you’re just one out of a potential pool of girls?

It’s at that realization that someone in you shifts. Because for someone who supposedly has no issues getting girls to fall in love with him, somehow, Yunho is still here, fighting to be with you. As much as you don’t want it to, that means something.

“God, Yunho,” you sigh, holding your conflicted head in your hands. “You don’t know how hard it is to hear all of this and not be able to tell if it’s genuine or not.”

“I don’t blame you,” he says, “and I would completely understand if you never believed another word out of my mouth after what I’ve done.”

You look up at him, and when you do, he’s staring down at you intently. “But I’m willing to do anything if it means it’ll show you that I was being real with you when I told you I was falling in love with you.”

The flutter in your heart at his words is automatic. And for the first time in a long time, you don’t resist the feeling. But before you can fully embrace it, there are still things you need to know that have been gnawing at you for nearly a year.

“The girl that Kai showed me,” you begin, looking down at your folded hands. “Have you…talked to her at all since you broke up?”

You feel stupid for even asking such a question, but you know deep down that you need to know the answer for your own peace of mind.

“No,” he answers quickly. “And I’m not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but…the girl that Kai showed you was one of many. I didn’t really view her as my girlfriend, though I understand why Kai may have. I’ve been told that I have the ability to treat people in a way that allows them to pretty credibly claim that I’m their boyfriend.”

Even after everything that Yunho’s told you, it’s still no less shocking to you to hear the abhorrent actions of the boy who you once thought could be the most kind and caring person ever.

And he seems to sense this on your face because he’s quickly following up with assurances. ”But I’m telling you the God honest truth when I say that I wasn’t in contact with any of them when we were together last summer. I never cheated on you, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking about anyone else when I was with you.”

“Then why did you never commit to me?” you hear yourself say, your heart speaking before your brain can catch up. “Why did you never ask me to be your girlfriend?”

He sighs, as if even he’s exhausted from hearing his own explanations and excuses. “I never asked you to be my girlfriend because you are the first person I’ve been with who I didn’t want to fuck things up with. I wanted to take things slow.”

It’s clear to you that from Yunho’s perspective, you were the most important person to him among the roster of women he was once dealing with. And as a result, he felt like he needed to treat you more delicately in order to protect that. But you can’t help but view his actions in a more sinister way, like all of the other girls he dealt in college with were more mature than you, and thus couldn’t be fooled by him as easily. Upon seeing you in all your naive, innocent glory, he treated you delicately not out of respect, but in a smart tactic of manipulating you in a way he couldn’t get away with with his other lovers.

All your life you’ve fought the feeling that you’re just the dumb, annoying little sister, constantly bogging down those among you who are older and more knowledgeable than you are. And to think that Yunho views you in that same manner makes you feel resentful in a way you can’t help.

“So how do I know that you weren’t just planning to go back to school and continue fucking other girls had Kai not told me you had a girlfriend?”

You weren’t intending for your words to come out so blunt but you’ve long lost the part of you who cares about what could upset Yunho or not.

“I honestly can’t say that I wouldn’t have,” he answers, and it’s the sort of shocking honesty that you suppose you should come to expect from him from now on. “At the end of the summer, I was committed to going back to school and remaining loyal to you. Finally being the boyfriend I wanted to be but wasn’t capable of being before you. But when I was away from you, and then I found out you knew about what I had done, it was to tempting to just..say fuck it. It seemed like you weren’t going to forgive me anyway, so I might as well have done what I wanted.

“But there was a situation where a girl was coming onto me. It was a position I had been in many times, and any other time, I would have pursued it. But I looked around me and just realized the desire to be with anyone else was just…gone. Not having any access to you made me realize how much I can’t be without you. It was such a wake up call that I haven’t been with or wanted to be with anyone else since.”

Yunho steps out of the closet and comes closer to you. Before he has time to consider his actions, he gets down on one knee, so that you’re level with him. Previously, you would have flinched away from his closeness. Now, you remain passive as he takes your hands in his, meet his gaze when he stares intensely and passionately into your eyes.

“Y/N, I am fighting to be the man you need me to be,” he proclaims, fire and conviction behind his brown eyes. “I’m willing to do anything if it means you’ll forgive me.”

He squeezes your hands just slightly, and although you’ve faithfully allowed him to say his piece so far, you can’t put any real stock into anything he’s saying without any proof to show that this is really who he is. You can’t say that you’ll forgive or that your wounds have healed when you have no tangible evidence that he wouldn’t hurt you again.

“You can start fighting for me by being the good person that you claim I motivate you to be,” you tell him, not meaning to come off cold but not wanting to mince words. “I need to see, through your actions and not your words, that you’re a different person than the guy who would recklessly date a bunch of girls and then go start a summer romance with his best friend’s sister.”

Yunho nods, his chin grazing your lap, his closeness after all this time comforting but still hard to relax in when you've spent so much time thinking you’d never want him to get this close again.

It’s hard to know what exactly you need to see to forgive Yunho. After all, anything you’ve seen from him from the past month, you’ve questioned. It’s hard to build back trust when it’s been so thoroughly broken.

“You need to tell all of the girls who you’ve possibly tricked into thinking they were your girlfriend that that’s not the case,” you decide. Because you don’t want any other girls out there to feel how you felt. To feel like you were in love with someone and then feel like that wasn’t the case. And you make sure to add, “Only if that’s how you actually feel.”

“It is.”

“I don’t care if it’s a call, text, or whatever,” you continue, despite the fact that he’s already relented. “They just need that closure. I need it.”

Once you’re done, Yunho stares hopefully into your eyes. “Once I’ve done that,” he says, a romantic softness in his voice. “What does it mean for us?”

You can’t help but smile at his softness, but get up from your seat on the stool and let your hands slip from his grasp. You need him to know that this is only a start, that just because you now understand his actions doesn’t mean that you’re ready to pick up where things left off.

“It means I can start to trust that you’re telling the truth when you say you want to fight for me.”

You can tell that he’s disappointed when you move away from him, but he nonetheless nods in understanding in a way that you can accept. “Done,” he mumbles in finality.

When it seems like neither of you have anything else you want to say, Yunho goes back to toying with the air conditioning system. You slip into a relaxing silence, though it’s interrupted only a few moments later when Yunho turns to you questioningly.

“It’s gotten really hot in here,” he informs you neutrally yet cautiously. “Do you mind if I…take off my shirt?”

It’s so hard to suppress the roll of your eyes at such a request, which feels entirely too convenient and shameless given that you’ve only just gotten to the point where you’re on speaking terms with him. Nonetheless, you hum in agreement.

You manage to keep your eyes away from Yunho as he pulls off his sweaty shirt, but only for a few seconds. You can’t help yourself – just because you’ve been mad at him doesn’t mean you can fight your attraction to him.

Your mind wanders over memories you’ve been working hard to forget over this past year. As your eyes trace the lines of Yunho’s abs, muscles, and even down to his hands, you fight back a shiver as the feelings of being touched by him come flooding back like a tidal wave.

“Yunho.”

Yunho stops what he’s doing and turns around to face you, staring at you inquisitively. “Yeah?”

You called out his name without knowing exactly what you were going to say, and now you just stare at him, frozen with desires you don’t know how to articulate. But even without saying anything, it’s as if Yunho already knows what’s going through your mind – his eyes go dark, his tongue juts over his lips, and it seems as if he’s leaning closer to you.

But before either of you can do anything, you’re interrupted by a knock on the door. The sound of it jolts you out of whatever trance you were in.

“I’ll get it,” you announce, pushing whatever just happened out of your mind as you go to open the front door.

Greeting you as you move to open the door are your mother and brother, Kai. You were expecting them to come back from their trip today, but not this early. Nevertheless, you’re relieved to not be alone as you let them into the house.

“Hey, Y/N!” your mother chirps happily, dragging her suitcases into the foyer. Her eyes then go wide with surprise when she looks over your shoulder and sees someone else. “I thought that was your car in my driveway! Yunho, what are you doing here?”

Kai lags into the house behind your mother, and you can see his eyes moving between you and a shirtless Yunho with a look of curiosity behind them. You’re sure he could be assuming all types of things right now, and the thought repulses you. You decide to speak up first before his mind can go anywhere dangerous.

“I just asked him to fix the AC,” you tell them both casually. “It broke again.”

“Yeah, there was an issue with the generator. It shouldn’t break again if I did everything right,” Yunho informs your mother, smiling genially at her in a way you haven’t seen in a while.

With your focus on Kai, you hadn’t stopped to think of what your mother would think of walking in on you alone with Yunho, dressed in barely anything. But you’re honestly beginning to think that your mother is incapable of saying anything less than glowing about Yunho. You watch as her eyes light up in gratitude over something Kai has been doing all summer. “Oh, thank you Yunho! That thing’s been really causing me problems.”

“No problem, Mrs. ____,” Yunho replies humbly. He looks nervously between the three of you before clearly his throat assertively. “Well, I guess I’ll be leaving then.”

He pats Kai on the back as he heads towards your door. “Bye, ya’ll,” he says to your family, and as he’s passing you, he mumbles a more personal, “Bye, Y/N,” that you shyly reciprocate. You can hear your mom saying something along the lines of, “Well, that’s new,” as she observes the way Yunho reserves a special goodbye for you, but you don’t respond. You head upstairs to your bedroom, where you heavily contemplate all the things that have transpired today and fight back yet another moral conflict over what your heart wants versus what your brain is telling you.

After a week or so of allowing Yunho back into your life but remaining hesitant to fully resume your relationship, you took your first big step towards forgiveness by allowing him to take you out on a date.

Yunho arrived at the cafe on a weekday afternoon to pick you up. His arrival was immediately noticed by Mingi, who you had been confiding in, though only tepidly. It was clear that he was still not over the two run-ins he’d had with Yunho, but especially the one on the night of the party. He made it clear to you that he disapproved of your continued association with Yunho.

“I just don’t understand why you’re still dealing with this guy,” he had told you angrily, pulling you into the stockroom as soon as he noticed Yunho entering the cafe. He thought he was protecting you by helping you avoid an interaction with someone he had judged as toxic. But he was shocked when you informed him that the man who he’s seen you have nothing but negative interactions with was here to pick you up.

“I appreciate it, Mingi. But seriously, I’m fine,” you assured him, smiling and hoping he understood how thankful you were for his concern but also how little you desired it. “Our story is…it’s complicated. And again, I’m sorry you even got involved in the first place.”

If Mingi was at all convinced by your assurances, he did a poor job of showing it. Still, he followed you out of the storeroom and watched you leave with Yunho, a vexed but nonetheless relenting frown on his face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t change. I feel a little underdressed.” you told Yunho shyly as you took your spot in the front seat of his car, fastening your seatbelt over your wrinkled apron.

“You look beautiful,” he complimented in response. Though you were sure he was just saying so to be nice, you still met his gaze with a flattered grin. For a second, he seemed to stare at you for longer than normal, looking like he wanted to say something, but ultimately held himself back and shifted his focus to the road.

“Where are we going?” you had asked as you watched the familiar scenery of your neighborhood become unrecognizable the longer you drove.

Turning a corner, Yunho shifted to driving with one hand in a move that never failed to make your stomach swoop. “In the spirit of getting a second chance, I figured I’d do a re-do on our first date,” he explained, “Not that anything was wrong the first time, but we never got the chance to ride the ferris wheel.”

You chuckle softly under your breath, remembering that day and your fear of roller coasters. “You must not remember how scared I was of riding it.”

“We’ll see,” he said ominously, and that was all you talked about until you arrived.

The boardwalk looked the same as you remembered it. You were now in the tailend of the summer, so it seemed like it was more packed than usual, filled with little kids probably trying to get their last bit of fun in before the school year started.

Unexpected, however, was the feeling that came over you. It was a mixture of nostalgia and sadness. The memories of Yunho taking you here last summer flooded back to you, but they only served as a reminder of how much had changed since then. You waited expectantly for your stomach to spur with the same butterflies you had the first time you came here. But to your dismay, they didn’t come, and suddenly a place you had held close to your heart now looked gray and somber.

As you begin to feel just a bit overwhelmed, you’re relieved when Yunho takes the lead. “Wanna start with Whack-A-Mole?”

You follow him, and together you begin the same sort of routine you had on your first ever date – going up the boardwalk and playing every single game it has to offer. It seemed as if both of you were having some bad luck – neither of you managed to win anything, something you joke about as you sit down to grab some food in the aftermath.

“I can’t believe I just let a bunch of 13 year olds beat me,” Yunho lamented, pouting childishly as he picked at the funnel cake you were sharing between you.

You assured him with a gentle pat on the arm. “It’s okay. It would probably look worse if the only two adults here were pummeling little kids.”

Yunho chuckled, bowing his head in assent. Things went quiet for a moment before he cautiously asked, “Can I ask you how your school year was?”

It’s hard to know what to say. The first half of your freshman year was defined by throwing yourself into every activity there was to forget about the hurt you were feeling. The second half was when you had become hardened by all of that pretending and began to isolate yourself, becoming the cold, avoidant person you came into the summer as. All in all, it wasn’t exactly a stress-free or easeful year.

“I liked the school a lot. I’m confident I made the right choice,” you tell him in an attempt to say at least one positive thing about your experience. “But in all honesty, I had a pretty shitty time. I’m honestly surprised I passed all my classes.”

You don’t have to say it for Yunho to know that he likely played a huge role in your negative experience. And without knowing what to say, not wanting to bog down the mood with more apologies, he simply hummed in understanding. “I suppose my year was similar. Did you know I drove up to your campus once?”

You raised a surprised eyebrow. “Really? When was this?”

“Sometime around Valentine’s Day,” he explains, looking down shyly at his food. “I don’t know what I was doing. I knew that even if I could find you, you probably wouldn’t react positively.”

“You were right,” you interrupt his story to confirm, and he chuckles awkwardly.

“Anyways, I ended up just sleeping in my car and leaving the next morning.”

It goes silent for a second, and you decide to reveal something you always thought you’d be too embarrassed to ever say out loud, especially to him. “I almost slipped up and called you once.”

He looks up at you, his expression neutral but sounding very surprised when he says, “Really?”

“I had gotten drunk,” you tell him, laughing a little as you recall the moment, “And I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to say to you. I think a part of me just wanted to hear your voice.”

Yunho smiles, but you see something wistful and sad behind his eyes.

“But funny enough, Kai texted me about coming home for break, and it seemed to get me back into my senses.”

“Why?”

“Because I realized how this would be the third holiday where I’d be staying at my dorm instead of going home,” you begin without thinking, biting your lip as you realize what you’re about to reveal, “And was reminded of why I didn’t want to go home.”

Yunho looks sad, but he doesn’t say anything in reply, and you’re glad. You didn’t mean to bring down the mood or make it hard to continue the conversation, but it’s clear that there’s nothing he could really say in response to something like that.

You finish your funnel cake a few moments later, and then go to take the same walk along the beach as you did a year ago. Except now, the sky is remarkably clear and the two of you stand platonically apart as opposed to holding hands.

Tilting your head up, you notice the looming ferris wheel in the sky and wonder again if Yunho was serious in his plans of getting you to ride it. When you ask him about it, he lets out a dry chuckle.

“Of course I am,” he asserts cooly, almost tempted to add in a, “I never break my promises, do I?” but knowing it wouldn’t be true at this point.

Bringing your walk to a sudden stop, you look up at him, your vexed expression shooting daggers into him. “But I got us tickets for the private carriage,” he quickly adds when you look just about tempted to punch him in the face, “so you don’t have to be looking down at the ground the whole time. It just feels incomplete to get on every ride except one.”

Though you rolled your eyes at him, you cast aside your annoyance and resumed your leisurely stroll along the shoreline. Truthfully, you weren’t as opposed to the idea of riding the roller coaster as you were before. You were pleased that he had made the extra effort to make the ride a little less scary for you. This would only be the second time he had helped coax you through a fear, starting with the time he led you through a waterfall to get to a cave where you had one of the best conversations of your relationship. Plus, maybe this was what you needed. To create new memories instead of being reminded of the past ones.

“Hey,” Yunho murmured suddenly, taking your attention away from the crashing waves of the ocean. “I hope you’re having a good time tonight. I know a lot has changed since the last time we went out like this.”

You look up at him, surprised to hear him acknowledge a feeling you’ve been trying to conceal all night. You sigh tiredly, staring off into the beach as you try to find the words to describe what’s bothering you.

“Of course, Yunho. This was nice,” you tell him honestly. “It’s just…harder than I thought to revisit all of these places when I’ve been trying so hard to forget about them.”

Eyes trained on the sand below you, you don’t see Yunho’s expression, but you can feel the heat of his eyes burning into the side of your face. “Do you want me to take you home?

You take a second to consider the offer sincerely. But ultimately, you decide to stay. It was you who told Yunho that what you needed to see from him was a fight. And with this date today, you can see that he’s putting in the effort to show you how much you mean to him. No matter how uneasy you might feel, you want to give that a chance.

“No,” you reply earnestly, deciding to link your arm through his in your first show of closeness in what feels like so long. His shoulder softens under the weight of your head. “Let’s finish this and go on that stupid ferris wheel.”

You watch as Yunho scans your face, looking for any apprehension in your expression. When he isn’t able to discern any, the corner of his lips twitch to form a grin, and he leads you up the beach towards the boardwalk.

As you walk, you pass by the photobooth where you shared your first kiss. In a sea of light colored sand, the black metal box is too obvious of a sight for either of you to say you didn’t notice it. Even as you feel Yunho’s gaze on the side of your face once more, perhaps hoping that you’ll make a comment about it and remember how much you enjoyed kissing him, you decide not to say anything and continue your walk to the ferris wheel.

At the entrance to the ride, you’re able to move past a line of eager 12 year olds to a second area for reserved ticket holders. You’re let onto a carriage whose windows are at the very top, insulating any view of the outside. It’s very obvious that the carriage was made with couples in mind. Beyond just the privacy aspect, there are pink and red hearts of various size patterned all over the leather fabric of your seats. It feels quite wrong then, that the two of you get into the ride sitting across from each other, hands stuffed in your pockets like you’d rather avoid touching each other.

“Date night?” asks the guy working the ride, who helps make sure nothing’s wrong with the carriage. You don’t say anything, but smile permissively at Yunho, letting him know you don’t mind if he responds.

“Yep,” he replies casually, and the guy working gives you both a suggestive pat on the shoulder. “Have fun. There’s lots of privacy in there.”

You and Yunho share equal looks of puzzlement before the worker closes the carriage doors shut. You feel relaxed for the first two minutes or so of being shut in. But then, suddenly, you can feel the air leaving your stomach as the carriage is pulled upward.

“Oh my god,” you murmur, feeling sick and like your organs are surely wobbling around as the carriage softly sways.

You mutter what is surely an expletive as a concerned Yunho offers you his outstretched arms to brace yourself. “Are you okay?”

Eyes squeezing shut, you took a second to steady yourself, taking several deep breaths and willing yourself to find rhythm in the back-and-forth rocks of the carriage. You allowed your heart rate to come to a slow before managing both eyes open. “Yes,” came your reply softly. “I’m fine.”

You’re not sure how long the ride is supposed to be, and without any windows, you’re left to use your senses to gauge how far you are on the ferris wheel. You and Yunho make light conversation, but it almost feels as if you’re replying on autopilot without taking in any of the words he’s saying.

Truthfully, you felt empty. And it wasn’t because the ride was scary, though your fear likely broke you out of whatever semi-optimistic mood you had temporarily found yourself in.

You thought that by coming here and letting Yunho take you on a date that you could conjure up some of those same adoring feelings that were once so strong between the two of you. But instead, even when you’re experiencing something new together, you can’t help but feel like an actor, pretending to see something that’s not there. All day, you’ve been trying to push down all of the negative sentiments that have built up over this last year. But they just keep coming back and you no longer think you’re strong enough to push them down.

You don’t even realize you’ve started crying until you feel Yunho’s hands resting on your knees, bringing you back to the present moment and making you conscious of the wetness on your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” you hear Yunho say, and a voice that was once so comforting now sounds like it’s being heard through a tunnel in your haze of emotions. “I should have never pushed you to ride this.”

As you process Yunho’s words a little later than when you hear them, it occurs to you that he must think you’re crying because of the ride. But the fear of heights has long been shedded in favor of a newer, scarier fear – that no matter how much goodwill Yunho shows you, you’ll never be able to feel the same way for him again. That you’ll never be as happy as he once made you.

But you decide not to vocalize this. Instead, you allow Yunho to believe what you consider to be the easier story, until the ride ends and he rushes to lead you out of the carriage. The car ride to your house is a quiet one – you can feel the guilt radiating off of him.

It’s dark outside when he pulls into your driveway to drop you off. You look over at him, wanting to end this night on a positive note by saying something sweet, but not knowing what to say. And even if you could think of something, he’s already out of the car before you can open your mouth, coming around to open your door for you.

Once he’s let you out, you stand in front of him as he leans against the hood of his car, head tilted down to the asphalt. “Thank you for tonight, Yunho. The ferris wheel wasn’t even that bad, I promise.”

You realize only after the words leave your mouth that your attempts to make tonight sound fun only result in something more pitiful. Yunho shakes out his hair and lets a humorless laugh escape his lips. “No problem, Y/N. I had fun, too.”

You turn your back to him to stare at the windows of your house. No lights are on, which you hope means that neither Kai or your mother are awake to peek at what you’re doing. “Hug?” you ask Yunho, stretching out your arms toward him. And not just because you feel bad for him and want to make things up to him. But because being in close contact with Yunho is the only time where you can feel, even if only for a few seconds, the same safety and comfort that drew you to him in the first place.

Yunho smirks at you in a way that communicates pleasant surprise. He moves apprehensively into your embrace, doing so with his eyes rolled in a show of feigned resistance. You’re tempted to tease him, but are satisfied when you feel him soften in your embrace. It’s an act of affection that you feel could happen today or 1 year ago and would still feel the same way.

“Good night, Yunho,” you mumble tiredly into his chest.

“Good night,” he says back. “Love you.”

And just like that, what was just a moment of comforting familiarity now causes your heart to stop as you hear the words, “I love you,” come out of Yunho’s mouth.

You and Yunho have talked more than enough about falling in love with each other, but to actually say the words is territory you’ve never entered before. With how casual he sounded saying it, you get the feeling that he let it slip on accident. But you can’t help the fact that your first initiative is to freeze up, and you know he must feel it with the way your body goes rigid around him. And in the silence that passes, you’re sure that even if you wanted to reciprocate his confession, it would be too late without it being obvious that you’re just saying it to acquiesce him.

In that exact moment, Yunho pulls away from you. From the quick glimpse that you get of his face, you can see that he’s smiling, but you can tell that he’s moving extra quickly to hide himself from your view. Before you know it, he’s disappeared into his house across the street. You’re left alone in your front yard to contemplate the mess of emotions passing through you.

Because even if you were able to freeze time to give yourself a moment to process the initial shock of being told something like that, would you have said it back? In the back of your mind, one fleeing and dismaying thought prevails – You can’t be so sure anymore.

On the final day of summer, you sat on your back porch, feeling bittersweet as you enjoyed the serene air of your neighborhood and reflected on the events of the past few months.

In a few hours, you’d be heading back to school to begin your sophomore year of college, and you were torn between feeling relieved to escape the emotional turmoil that has defined this summer and scared to leave what was one of your most important relationships at its most vulnerable.

The truth is that you weren’t sure if your relationship with Yunho was salvageable. You thought that if both of you tried your hardest for each other that things may go back to how they used to. But you didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to move past a year’s worth of pain and heartache. In all honesty, you were scared. Scared that you had spent this much time feeling miserable for someone who you may ultimately decide to cut out of your life for good.

“Hey,” you heard a familiar voice greet from behind you. Speak of the devil.

Yunho came out onto the porch in a relaxed pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He had arrived at your house early this morning, helping you and your mother pack and move your things into a U-Haul truck. You and your mom would be taking the truck into the city, where she’d drop you off at your closer-to-home, private college, while Yunho and Kai would head out the next day to their bigger and further away state school.

“What’s up?” Yunho asked, a shade of concern in his voice causing you to raise your eyebrow.

“Nothing. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Your mom and brother sent me to look for you. They’re packing the car as we speak,” he explained, coming up in front of you to lean against the railing of your porch casually. “Though, I assume you know that already?”

“Yep,” you confirm, leaning back in your rocking chair with an air of resignation. “I just wanted a second to myself before I left.”

Yunho hummed in understanding. “Well I’ll leave you to it, then.”

You watched Yunho walk from the porch railing to the door, realizing that now may be your last chance before going back to school to talk to him face-to-face about your future together. You were suddenly filled with a sense of last-minute urgency.

“Wait,” you cried out, turning around in your chair to face his retreating silhouette. “Don’t go.”

Yunho turned around to look at you, eyes wide in a startled expression. “Actually, Yunho,” you told him softly, “I kind of wanted to talk to you.”

You watched as Yunho came back and sat down on your porch railing once again, leaning forward in calm interest. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

You sighed, not even sure what you wanted to say. You remember when Yunho was the only part of your life that felt easy and uncomplicated. Now, every thought and emotion you had for him felt so confusing. It was as if you had to put together a puzzle of your own thoughts every time you spoke to him, trying to discern between feelings that were genuine and feelings colored by your past distrust.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about all that’s happened between us this summer. About how I want to move forward with our relationship now that everything’s been hashed out.

“I shouldn’t have gone on that date with you,” you confess, watching Yunho’s face fall in an expression of regret and disappointment. “I wasn’t ready. It was weird for me to revisit all of the places where I had so many positive memories with you and realize that I may never feel that way again. I know you had good intentions, but it was all too much for me.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as Yunho considers your words and you decide your next ones. You don’t bother to look up at him at this point, knowing all you’ll find is your own sadness and weariness reflected in his brown eyes.

“It’s not that I’m still angry at you for what you did. I understand what happened and why it happened, but I just…” you trail off. “I feel numb. And I’m not really sure if that’s an emotion conducive to a healthy relationship.”

“So what are you saying?” Yunho breaks his silence to ask, not exactly accusatory but not exactly gentle, either. “Are you…”

He pauses, and when you look up at his face you see his mouth closed in a tight line as if he doesn’t want to even consider ending his sentence.

But then he sighs, and the rest of the words come out strained like he had to fight to get them out of his mouth. “...ending things?”

“Can you really end something that never quite started?” you ask, your voice taking on a lighter tone as you attempt to convey your words in a humorous way. But as you say the sentence out loud, it hits close to home in a way you weren’t expecting.

“When I think about this year, I think about all the time I spent trying to hate you,” you chuckle out humorlessly, feeling almost silly as you reflect on how miserable and painful his year was. “And through it all – the anger, the pain, the numbness – somehow, someway…”

You take a breath, anxious for what you’re about to say.

“...I love you, Yunho.”

Yunho looks up to stare at you breathlessly, and for a second it feels like the two of you are frozen in time. He never thought he’d hear you reciprocate those words. It took a while for you to even come to the conclusion, as well. But even in your little experience, you know that what you’re feeling is love. The determination to see the best in someone even at their worst. The willingness to keep trying even when it feels like nothing is working. The care that never seems to go away even after they’ve hurt you.

“And so I’m not saying no to us,” you assert. “I’m not saying yes to us either. “I’m saying I don’t know. And I hope that can be enough for you right now.”

You sit in silence for what feels like hours, feeling understood but more confused than ever. You’re called by your mother to finally leave for your journey back to school. And as you say your brief goodbyes to your brother and Yunho, a sense of mournful finality tinges the air, as if you're closing a chapter that was once vibrant but now fades into the shadows of what once was.

a/n: I have one more part planned for this fic but i’m not sure when i can get it out. stay tuned and as always tysm for still reading <3

also realizing i never created a taglist for this fic! so if you'd like to be notified when the final part comes out, pls send me a message in my ask box or comment below.

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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summer’s dive (yunho x reader)

paring: yunho x fem reader genre: fluff, smut, angsty, brother’s best friend, boy next door word count: 30k summary: something is noticeably different about yunho when he returns home after a long year away at college. the boy you knew as your brother’s best friend is suddenly charming, open, and dangerously handsome. you embark on a summer romance, discovering in the end exactly why your brother warned you to stay away. warnings: explicit sex scenes, oral (female and male receiving), corruption kink, pull out method (wrap it b4 u tap it), far too many run-on sentences, some parental trauma stuff but very briefly ao3 link can be found here.

You’re sitting on your front porch in the middle of May when your brother and his best friend pull up in front of your house.

Kai, your older brother, and Yunho, his best friend, have been away at a college about an hour away from home, here now for summer break after successfully completing their freshman year.

You’re mostly happy to see your brother as he exits from the passenger side of the car, looking a little bit taller though perhaps it’s because you haven’t seen him since Christmas.

No one is as excited to see him as your mother though, running off the porch to tackle him with a hug before you can even get up from your spot on the bench. You’ve been witness to your mother’s anguish over the past year as she’s been processing the fact that her first-born son is an adult now, going to college and getting into God knows what kind of trouble as he encounters sex, drugs, alcohol, and all of the other scary things that are associated with college.

The only thing that made her feel better was knowing he had Yunho as a best friend, the taller boy always responsible and polite in her presence.

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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dance for you pt. 1

genre: yunho x fem reader, dancer!au, rivals to lovers, smut, angst

summary: moving to a new city and auditioning for one of the most competitive dance troupes isn’t easy, but when you meet the charismatic and talented dancer jeong yunho, your world gets a lot more interesting. (full summary can be found here)

warnings: cheating (not yunho), slow burn, curse words, drug (weed) and alcohol usage, thigh riding

word count: 25k

a/n: i do have some experience in dance but i’m not an expert so pls try to look past any inaccuracies for the sake of the story

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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dance for you (yunho x reader) | preview

genre: yunho x fem reader, dancer!au, rivals to lovers, smut, angst

summary: All your life, dancing has been everything you’ve known. Dancing is your life, your purpose, your everything. So when the most esteemed and decorated dance troupe in America announces that they’re accepting auditions for the first time in years, you jump at the opportunity--even if it means uprooting your former life, leaving behind your family and long term boyfriend. Everything goes well at first, but soon you experience betrayal from those you thought were closest to you, leaving you feeling more alone than ever. That’s where Jeong Yunho comes in: the charismatic but troubled dancer whose competitive edge positions him as your rival in the dance company. You and Yunho begin an intense relationship that leaves you both questioning what’s more important: your career, or love? How far are you both willing to go to secure your spot, even if it means breaking the other’s heart?

word count: 50k+ but will be split into parts

estimated release date: TBA

preview below the cut

“Welp. Looks like we’re gonna get placed in the back since you refuse to remember the choreography!” barked Yunho in frustration.

You raise your arms in defeat. “Here we go again! Another instance of the amazing Jeong Yunho refusing to take accountability for his own mistakes!”

“Oh, so now it’s MY fault that you can’t keep up with a simple choreo? Maybe if you weren’t always locking yourself into a practice room by yourself we would’ve made some progress by now!”

You raise an accusatory finger in his direction. “Need I remind you that it's YOU who drew this line in the sand, not me!”

Yunho paced back and forth across the room. “Fuck, it’s hot in here.” he mutters to himself. He pulls his baggy t-shirt off his head leaving him with nothing to cover his upper body.

You roll your eyes. “Really Yunho? Now you’re gonna strip while I’m in the room? Is that supposed to make me dance better?”

He throws his sweaty shirt somewhere in the corner. “Aren’t you the same girl who walks around in a little bra all the time? Grow up.”

“You know what? Take me home. I’ve had enough of your bullshit for the night.”

Yunho chuckles. “We’ve literally only been here for an hour! Stop being so sensitive and come dance!”

Fired up by Yunho’s comments, you walk closer to him until you’re right up in his face. “You know, I don’t quite get you, Yunho. For someone who claims to hate me, you’re constantly trying to keep me around like a little bitch.”

He laughs and moves even closer to you with a sinister smile. “Oh really, is that the case? Did you forget that not so long ago I had you begging for me to stay so I could fuck you?”

Your eyes widen in surprise at the vulgarity of his words. You don’t even know what to say back to that, because after all, he’s right. Making out with Yunho feels like such a far away timeline compared to your relationship today, but now, as he stands here shirtless and covered in sweat, you’re reminded of what drew you to him in the first place.

You’re so taken aback by his words that you don’t notice that he’s moving closer to you until your back hits the wall. “In fact,” he says, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “I think we were in this exact room.”

When you feel the cold wall against your back, you realize there’s nowhere for you to run. He’s got you pressed up against him, so close that the tip of his nose hovers just barely above yours. Your heart beats in your chest faster than you’d like to admit, but you’re determined not to show it, keeping eye contact as he stares at you menacingly.

“Look at you” he whispers, his voice dropping an octave. “You put on a big show, but really, deep down, you still want me, don’t you?”

“You know what?” you make sure you look him right in the eyes. “Fuck you, Yunho.”

He smiles. “Fuck you, too.”

Both of you stare at each other, red hot with anger, eyes full of hatred...yet all you can think about right now is how good Yunho looks, how much you want to feel his lips on yours again.

And luckily you don’t have to think too hard because, just as you lean in, he crashes his lips against yours at the exact same time.

comment or send an ask if you'd like to be on the taglist when it comes out!

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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TEACHER'S PET - J. YUNHO

SUMMARY : being a fan of Jane Austen's novels, you should have guessed that your attraction for complicated love stories would put you in trouble at some point. but you wouldn't have imagined that the trouble in question would be named Jeong Yunho - your favourite professor.

-> pairing : literature professor!yunho x student fem!reader

-> words count : 30.4 k

-> genre : college au, smut & angst

-> warnings (w. some spoilers of the plot) : soft!dom!yunho x sub!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praising, marking, hair pulling, doggy, protected and unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, fingering, begging, riding, semi-public sex, yunho has a big cock, hand kink, facefucking, drunk sex, yunho is calling reader angel (yes, that's a warning), age gap (8 years), mention of fwb relationship w. san, cheating, mentions of family issues, self-depreciation

+ the way i'm depicting yunho does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : should i say sorry for the enormous word count ? maybe. will i apologize ? not at all because i'm so fucking proud of this fic. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written, i quite fell in love with reader this time lmaoo. i started the process of the plot back in january, and it took me more than 3 months to write this but it's amazing in my opinion, so i hope you'll like it as much as i loved writting it ! also that is such a detail but yes, prices are in euros in this fic because i'm french and i cannot physically write dollars and not feel weird, i'm sorry, bear with it. i should also say sorry for the angst but it don't wanna either, i already cried to myself when i put it into words, it's your turn to suffer.

-> playlist : older by isabel larosa - white mustang by lana del ray - crazy in love by sofia carlberg - middle of the night by elley duhé - reflections by the neighborhood - daddy issues by the neighborhood - babydoll by ari abdul - easier by bernard park - i love you by billie eilish

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

Jeong Yunho had been the big sensation and the object of all conversations since he started teaching at your university. It was during your freshman year that he joined your college as the new professor of British literature. And honestly, just knowing that you wouldn’t be forced to listen to an old man repeating the same story about how he almost won the Pulitzer Prize twenty years ago over and over was already a relief. But the fact that your new teacher was also very attractive did get you even more interested in his classes.

Of course, at first, you were like all the other girls on campus, gushing over how handsome Mr. Jeong was, and how well the suits he always wore were perfectly fitting his tall frame. But you quickly discovered a dedicated and very good professor. He helped your whole promotion to go over all the things your old teacher should have presented to you, and thanks to him, you passed your exams. So even if you couldn’t ignore that he was very, very hot, you were mostly glad to have a professor as passionate as you about literature - his handsomeness was only the cherry on top.

Every time you had a class with him, you knew that this was about to be a good day, because they were always stimulating and never boring. And maybe, just maybe it was because you were always trying to contradict him. In your defense, Mr. Jeong always led you to approach a new subject with an interesting or controversial point of view, and you were often disagreeing, or had things to say about it. And since not many people in your class were really interested in British literature and were only here to admire your teacher for one or two hours, it was not rare for him and you to end up debating about anything and everything. And today was no exception.

“- What do you want me to say Y/N ? This is how things are, I can’t change them.

- Then you’ll have to convince me, Mr. Jeong.”

Your professor chuckled while shaking his head. You were always like this, always trying to get him to surrender and admit that you had the right answer. Yunho didn’t really understand if it was because you liked to be right or simply because you loved a little bit of challenge, but either way, he appreciated how attentive you were to his classes, and how you were trying to question everything every single time. It was stimulating for the class, for you, and even for him.

“- In this precise case, it is not my job to do that. The fact that you have your opinion on the subject is a very good thing, but there is no right or wrong answer. What we are trying to do here is simply to interpret what message Poe wanted to convey, we can never be sure if our interpretation is the one he had in mind. And I would love to continue this debate but it’s time for you to go, so don’t forget to read the extract of Wuthering Heights I gave you and I’ll see you next week.”

You rapidly packed up your things to run back to your dorms. Friday often meant a girl’s night out with your two best friends, and you wanted to have enough time to get ready. You three always got to the same bar where you met each other, one of the first nights you went out during your first year of college. You crossed paths with Lola first, the barmaid having messed up both of your cocktail orders. And both of you clicked instantly, despite her being two years older than you. At one point, while you were dancing together, you noticed a girl alone being clearly annoyed by a guy who repeatedly tried to touch her. So your new friend and you acted like you knew her and forced the guy to go away. It turned out that the girl you had kind of saved, Dia, was in the same major as you. You ended up spending the night all together and you kept in touch after that.

And despite Lola having finished her studies before Dia and you, she stayed around the city because of her work. So once in a while, you took the opportunity to go out at the bar where you met. And tonight was one of those nights, and after the exhausting week you had, you kinda needed it anyway. Your roommate, Dajeong, helped choose your outfit and you got ready together because she was also going out with some of her friends, chatting about your days and the new rumours about the basketball team. And of course, you had to dress up a little, putting on a skimpy, little black dress that did wonders to underline the curves of your body. During these concert nights you were going to, there were always a lot of pretty attractive men playing instruments, and that kinda got you going. So you didn’t put away the thought of finishing the night in someone else’s bed.

Dia picked you up to go to the bar where you joined Lola and immediately ordered your favourite drink. It felt good to finally rest after the awful week you had. It all started on Monday, when you slept in and missed your first class of the morning. And because you had to rush to the second, you forgot your lunch at home and the charger of your laptop. On Thursday, you forgot about the work session you had with some of your classmates for a group project and arrived late. And finally one of your professors claimed to be disappointed in you because you handed him your assignment one hour late because you had an unplanned class at the due date. So yeah, you really needed this drink with your friends.

“- So I didn’t warn you beforehand, but I’m gonna sing on stage tonight !”

You looked at Lola, dumfounded, while Dia squealed excitedly beside you. Your older friend had tried to make her music known for the past year and it was finally starting to work out for her. Lola was incredibly talented, so you were certain that she would succeed and you were also very very happy for her, a big smile stretching your lips as you gave her a hug.

“- Girl ! That’s incredible ! I’m so proud of you, you deserve it !”

Dia joined your hug, the three of you giggling.

“- I’m so fucking exited, we were waiting for it !”

It was still a little early, but the bar was already filled with people, and even if it was still pretty cold outside, you were immediately hit by a wave of heat as soon as you stepped in. You really loved the atmosphere of these kinds of nights, where everyone was friendly because they were only there to spend a good time. Lola had to go backstage to get ready, but you quickly stumbled on some of Dia’s friends with whom you talked for a while and since the vibes matched, you decided to stay together to enjoy the concert. One guy had particularly tried to get your attention, and you weren’t mad about it with how good he looked. He was very tall, and could seem intimidating but whenever he smiled or laughed, you could see how kind and sweet he was. While he was saying something to one of his friends, you quickly tapped on Dia’s shoulder.

“- Hey, what’s the name of your friend that’s very tall ?”

She answered you with a smirk, and mischievous glint in his eyes when she leaned towards you.

“- Why ? Does he interest you ?

- Maybe. So ?

- His name’s Mingi. Have fun girl.”

You slapped her arm lightly, rolling your eyes at her comment. But truly, you didn’t mind the playful bantering between the two of you, loving it even. You let her go back to her conversation while you offered yourself and Mingi another drink since you had finished your beer long ago. It happened that Mingi was just as interesting as you thought he would be, and you even spent the first few performances of the night simply talking with him, too immersed in the discussion to acknowledge your surroundings. It’s only when Lola got up on stage that you started to pay attention, cheering for her after she introduced herself to the public.

And honestly, she nailed it, hyping the crowd like she did that for her whole life. Dia and you surely clapped and screamed for her the loudest. Lola came to you as soon as she got off the stage, hugging both of you and thanking you for coming to see her and cheering for her. She looked the happiest when she was singing, and you couldn’t be more proud of her as all of Dia’s friends were congratulating and praising her. And from this point on, you didn’t have many clear memories, only knowing that you got drink after drink, getting more comfortable with each one.

Usually, you wouldn’t be all over someone you had just met, but Mingi was really a good guy, he was attractive and you were drunk, so you didn’t mind the way he was kissing you shamelessly, only kissing him back and letting him roam his hands all over your body. But as always when you were tipsy, your mind was jumping from one thing to another. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t see neither Lola nor Dia around anymore, all you wanted was another drink right now.

“- I’m gonna get one more beer, want one ?”

Mingi tried to stop you when you got up, stumbling a little while standing on your feet, the world spinning all around you.

“- Don’t you think you already drank enough Y/N ?

- You’re cute worrying about me ! I’m okay ! I’ll be back in a minute !”

You were practically screaming, and even with the loud music and voices of people around you, you were very loud, making your way over to the bar while chuckling to yourself the whole time. You dropped onto one of the stools in front of the bar, ordering yourself another beer. It’s only when you turned your head on your right side that you noticed someone you knew quite well.

“- Mr. Jeong !”

The said Mr. Jeong was straddled by your loud voice and even more by your body colliding with his as you kind of dropped your weight on him, circling him with your arms as if you were trying to hug him. For a few seconds, your teacher remained frozen in place, not knowing how to react, before his brain seemed to reactivate again, and pushed you off of him, holding you by your shoulders. Only a quick look at your flushed cheeks, lazy smile and glossy eyes was enough for him to guess that you were drunk.

“- Y/N ?

- That’s me ! What are you doing here though ? Teachers are not supposed to go out !”

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh quietly at your behaviour. You were always so neat and put together during his classes, always so focused and organised. So to see you let loose like this, wearing a skimpy little dress, obviously very drunk and your speech so slurred it was actually hard to understand you, was really a shock.

“- You’ll be surprised to know that I have a life outside of being your teacher.”

Yunho knew that he shouldn’t find the pout on your lips cute, but he did.

“- ‘m not surprised, you too hot to be a teacher.”

He blamed the alcohol for the way his heart started beating faster at your comment, and even more when you leaned against him once again, breathing in his scent.

“- ‘m so tired…

- Where are your friends ? Maybe they can get you home.

- Don’t know…”

You were starting to feel really dizzy. And not the kind of daze when you’re just feeling the agreable effects of all the drinks you had, it was the kind of daze when you’re starting to feel bad, when your head starts to hurt and all you want is your bed and silence. Yunho tried to observe the crowd and spot the friends he usually saw you hanging with around campus, but no one was in sight. So he stood up, paying for his last drink, before helping you walk towards the exit.

“- Where we going ?

- I’m driving you home. You’re clearly drunk and you lost your friends, it’s not safe for you to stay here alone.”

You were too far gone to be embarrassed about your behaviour, or to resist too much, so you let your professor drag you to his car and help you get inside, even buckling up your seat belt for you. You only find it in yourself to give him your address, and text Dia to warn her that you were getting home before dozing off. Yunho had to wake you up when he parked in front of your dorm.

“- We’re here, Y/N.”

You whined, claiming you were comfortable and didn’t want to move, that it was cold outside and the heat in his car was far much better. Yunho sighed while getting out of the car. Helping one of his drunk students get home was not really on his bingo card of the week, but he couldn’t risk you getting in a dangerous situation. He opened the car door on your side after having taken off his jacket, handing it to you as he helped you get out of the vehicle. No words were exchanged as you put on the black leather jacket that was obviously ten times too big for you, drowning your silhouette inside of it. But you could feel the warmth that Yunho’s body had left, and it made the cold of the wind outside less chilly.

“- You will be alright to get inside alone ?”

You nobbed your head, the nap you took during the way back to your dorm having sobered you up a little. Now, all you wanted was to wrap yourself in your sheets because you were starting to feel the second-hand embarrassment of this whole situation.

“- Thank you Mr. Jeong.

- You’re welcome Y/N, drink water and take a lot of rest, okay ?”

You nobbed once again, feeling your cheeks heating up when he pressed your shoulder lightly. You didn’t find anything to answer so you decided to simply get inside, not seeing how Yunho kept an eye on you until he was sure you got inside, and only did he drive off. When you pushed the door open, Dajeong was not back from her party yet, so you were met with a silence that instantly eased your headache. You rummaged through the drawers of the kitchen to find some painkillers and a glass of water, gulping the medication down before heading straight to your room. You hadn’t the energy to take off your makeup, nor your outfit, slipping in bed with Yunho’s jacket still on. But it smelled good, it was so warm, like a little cocoon you loved to be wrapped into. And maybe that was why you dreamed of him that night.

The days after this hell of a night, you were hit with the most terrible feeling of embarrassment and guilt you’ve ever felt. Embarrassment because it was definitely what you should feel after having to be driven home by one of your teachers because you were too drunk, and at that, a very attractive and smart teacher - and also your favourite one. Also to be seen in a state like this by him had you mortified. You always tried to remain serious and professional in front of Mr. Jeong, and you never wanted your personal life to interfere like that with your studies. Guilt because he was certainly there to enjoy his own night out and you wrecked that by forcing him to look after you like a little child. You even threw a tantrum because it was too cold, and every time you saw the jacket you even had the audacity to sleep into, you felt even more bad and ashamed of yourself. You didn’t even dare tell Dia and Lola who helped you get home, claiming it was only a guy you knew.

You also didn’t want rumors to spread. They were fast to go around students, and if you handed Mr. Jeong his jacket back after his class, it would have been enough for people to believe that you two were in a relationship. So you decided to go and see him after his classes in his office, to be sure that you wouldn’t be bothered. You had buried his jacket at the bottom of your bag, as if everyone had X-Ray vision and could see what was inside, walking as fast as you could through the hallways. You had done nothing wrong, but it still felt like it and you had to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation that was going to happen.

The door was open when you arrived at his office, but you still knocked on it lightly to signal your presence. Mr. Jeong immediately looked up from the assignments he was grading, smiling when he saw it was only you.

“- Come on in Y/N, and close the door behind you.”

You were fairly unable to utter a word, sticking to nodding your head as you did what he told you. Usually, when you came to his office, you would immediately sit down, but you didn’t feel at ease at all today, too shameful to even look at Mr. Jeong in the eyes.

“- Do you feel better than this weekend ? You didn’t seem very well yesterday either.”

The fact that he was still worrying about you was making you feel even more uncomfortable.

“- Uh, yes, thank you. Actually I came by to apologise for my behaviour. I was very drunk, and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Thank you so much for driving me home, and again, I’m sorry for how I acted and if I said anything disrespectful to you. And here’s your jacket, I washed it for you. And again, I’m so, so sorry.”

You got the jacket out of your bag, putting it on his desk, neatly folded. Your heart was beating unsteady and your breathing was loud. You couldn’t even remember if you actually said anything weird to him, but knowing you and how you had no filter when you were wasted, you surely did. Mr. Jeong stood up to get his jacket back, hanging it on the back of his desk chair. The smile on his lips was reassuring and sweet, and he didn’t seem mad at all, but you couldn’t help the anxiousness from taking over you.

“- It’s not that bad, it has already happened to everyone to be drunk and do stupid things, believe it or not, it happened to me too.

- To bother your teacher because you were completely wasted ?”

Yunho chuckled at your remark, and he was happy to see a small smile spread on your face too. You were always trying to not look him in the eyes since the beginning of the week, and you seemed very embarrassed when Yunho didn’t want you to be. He did that out of kindness, because you were one of his favourite students and also because he couldn’t let you alone when you were in this state, he couldn’t have looked at himself in a mirror if he had let you without anyone to look after you when you were so vulnerable.

“- Maybe not, but you get my point. It didn’t bother me, and you didn’t say anything strange, don’t worry. We can just forget all about that if you prefer, but I can assure you that you did not do anything wrong Y/N, I’m just happy I was able to get you home safely.”

Your shoulders immediately relaxed, and it was as if you could breathe more easily. You knew that your professor was honest, that he wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.

“- Thank you so much for taking care of me. I gotta go for my next class now, but really, I’m very grateful Mr. Jeong.

- No problem, just be more careful next time.

- Of course. Have a good day !”

He greeted you back, watching as you left his office and closed the door behind you. And finally, Yunho allowed himself to slump back in his desk chair, sighing loudly. He didn’t lie to you, didn’t tell you that to make you feel better. Except the fact that you did say that you found him hot. That compliment really messed up with his mind. You were always so serious and focused during his classes, and of course, it was obvious you wouldn’t spend your weekends locked up in your room, but seeing you like this was so new, so unusual. The way you looked at him, the way you touched him, the way your dress was riding your thighs up, the way his jacket was now smelling like your intoxicating perfume - the scent of you invading the room little by little. Everything about this was making him see you in a whole different light.

The only thing Yunho promised himself when he became a professor was to never, ever, find one of his students attractive. Maybe it was because he was young, and much closer to your age when he started teaching, and that he quickly noticed the eyes some of the girls were giving him. Anyway, he swore on his dignity and morals that he would never have this type of thoughts about a student. But now that he got to see you in your skimpy black dress, which was hugging every one of your curves perfectly, while looking him in the eyes and confessing how hot he was may have him reconsidering his decision.

He knew he shouldn’t see you this way, he knew he shouldn’t search your profile on instagram, knew that he shouldn’t look at your photos nor check you out in your pretty little outfits that you loved to post. But he did it anyway, scrolling through your account as if he was a teenager all over again. And when he stumbled over the photos you posted this summer, body on display in your little bikinis, he knew he had to stop before his thoughts started to drift to places he shouldn’t. Because it was dirty, it was disgusting and he shouldn’t think about you, his student, this way. This should have been enough to stop his mind from going back to this night, but it didn’t. And Yunho felt incredibly bad for not being able to control himself.

You felt a little better since your conversation with Mr. Jeong, reassured that you did not say anything weird to him, and that you haven’t made him uncomfortable. That didn’t ease your mind from the fact that you slept in his jacket and even had the nerves to feel cosy because you were surrounded by his scent. But you tried your best to forget it all, just like he advised you to, even if you had to be honest and admit that you did often think about the way he held you by your waist when he helped you walk to his car.

You shook your head as you tried to concentrate back on the synopsis of the book you had in hand right now. You decided to go to a book shop with Dia this afternoon after your classes. It was something you loved to do together from time to time, always promising yourself that you won’t buy anything but coming back home with at least one new book anyway. You were not paying attention to your surroundings, entirely focused on the book you were looking at, and you didn’t feel it when someone came up behind you.

“- I see that you’re very dedicated to my classes Y/N.”

You turned around quickly, not needing to see him to recognize the familiar voice of your teacher. He was standing there, dressed more casually than the usual suits he was always wearing for class, only in black pants and a creamy sweater. You tried not to make the blush on your face obvious as you composed yourself before answering.

“- Well, your recommendations are always great Mr. Jeong, so I might listen to you once again. But only if it gets me one bonus point on my next assignment.”

Yunho couldn’t help the cheeky smile that spreaded on his face whenever you teased him. It wasn’t the behaviour students should have towards their teacher, but he liked it too much to ask you to stop.

“- You know very well that I don’t get corrupted this easily.

- And if I bring you some chocolate ?

- Then I might reconsider your proposal.”

You were ready to add something when you were interrupted by the loud ringtone of your phone. You excused yourself and turned around to answer the call. Yunho didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with a certain “Sannie”, but at the same time, if it was that private, you would’ve walked away, right ? He wondered if you were used to giving surnames like that to every one of your friends or if this guy could be your boyfriend. But why would that interest him in the first place anyway ? It wasn’t like he cared if you were single or taken. And it was none of his business, but still, the question slipped past his lips when you hung up.

“- Was that your boyfriend ?

- Oh, no, not at all ! San is my best friend, he has been since we were kids.”

Yunho only nodded, already feeling the second-hand embarrassment of asking such a personal and inappropriate question. He needed to get out of here so you didn’t notice the way his ears were heating up, and you gave him the perfect opportunity to do just that.

“- I have to go but I’ll get this one.

- Feel free to share your thoughts about it.

- I’ll do it, thank you. Have a good day Mr. Jeong.

- You too Y/N.”

And you left with a warm smile, asking yourself if you would have a stranger interaction than this one in your life. How come that one of the most handsome men you’ve ever met, who also happened to be your teacher, wanted to know about your love life ? You didn’t know how to handle this fact, didn’t know why he asked you that either. But it was messing with your head, making you think about things you shouldn’t, about things you never even considered before this night. Well, that was a bit of lying to yourself. Because you did think about him in this light before, did dream about him touching you in such inappropriate ways for a teacher and his student. But you pushed these thoughts away, not ready to dig into why he was making you feel like that and wouldn’t leave your mind.

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same : how he didn’t see you like that before having you all pliant in his hold, before seeing you wearing your little black dress, before hearing you calling him hot. But if he was honest with himself, he did think that you were pretty during the first class you had with him. He did think on numerous occasions that you were smart and the kind of person he would love to go out with. But he couldn’t. Because he was your teacher, and because he was a lot much older than you. It would be inappropriate.

Even with all of these considerations in mind, Yunho couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at you every time you stepped a foot into his classroom. He tried to be as subtle as possible because he didn't want to make this situation even weirder than it already was, especially for you. Little did he know you did the same, observing him every time he wasn’t looking your way, struggling to not blush whenever you felt his eyes on you. And Yunho kept telling himself that he couldn’t do that, that it was not right to look at you the way he did, to think about the things he was thinking about every time his eyes landed on you. But he couldn’t stop it. It felt wrong, but for some kind of reason, he was unable to forget about you.

“- Did the Mr. Jeong hype finally get to your head ?”

You wiped your head towards Dia, heart beating unsteady. She couldn’t know about what happened almost three weeks ago, right ? No she couldn't have guessed, except maybe if someone saw him driving you home. But your friend only chuckled and slapped your arm when she saw the defeated expression on your face.

“- You look like you saw a ghost ! It’s alright bestie, I wouldn’t judge you for finding him handsome, it’s a fact everyone already established.

- Why are you saying that now ?

- Because you’ve become very distracted whenever we have classes with him, and you don’t participate as much as before. Is it because you finally see him like we all do ?”

You groaned and shook your head, but Dia was too close to the truth to not unsettle you. You knew that you did nothing wrong, that it was normal to think that your obviously very attractive teacher was, in fact, very attractive. But you couldn’t kill the guilt creeping in every time you looked at his hands handing back the papers a little too long, or when you caught yourself wondering if his skin smelt as good as his leather jacket did.

“- First, I’ve never said that he isn’t good looking, and second, I have enough decency to not drool over him during said classes.”

Lie. It was a complete lie. But Dia didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that your professor had invaded your thoughts in a way you didn’t think would be possible, and in a way that was definitely not appropriate.

“- Decency doesn’t exist when he enters the equation.”

She was not entirely wrong, but you couldn’t let her win, because it would be like admitting to yourself that you did thirst over your teacher, more than you would like to. Luckily for you, Yunho quickly started his class and strangely enough, for the first time since the bar incident, you succeeded in following everything he was saying and not getting too distracted by his hands, or by his smile.

“- Before I let you go, I wanted to inform you that I decided to create a debate club. I’m aware of what you must all think about these : that they are boring and never pick the subjects you want to discuss. That’s why you’ll be the ones to propose the subjects we will tackle, and you’ll be free to talk about anything you want. It can be music, politics, literature - anything. As long as you respect each others’ opinions, it’s okay for me. If you’re interested, write your name on the sheet on my desk before leaving and that’s all for today. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day.”

Conversations about Mr. Jeong’s propositions were already erupting all around the classroom. You spotted some serious students you already had study sessions with writing down their names, and a bunch of girls who just wanted to check out the teacher for one more hour per week. Dia already warned you that she didn’t have the time to engage in such activities, but you thought it couldn’t be that bad of an idea. After all, you really loved to discuss with people, and this was the perfect occasion to do so. And no, it was not because your professor will be there. Not at all. It only happened that he will animate the whole thing, it was only a coincidence. You got a pen out of your bag and started to write down your name when his now familiar voice interrupted you.

“- I could’ve bet on this.”

You didn’t dare lift your head and meet his gaze, because locking eyes with him in class was one thing - he was far away from you - but having him so close to you suddenly made you nervous.

“- Am I so predictable ?

- A little, but I’m not complaining. I know that at least one person will actually come and that I will not be alone.”

This time, you had no other choice but to look at him as you had finished writing your name and had no excuse to look at the piece of paper anymore. You knew you shouldn’t feel like this, but your heart still missed a beat when your eyes finally dived into his. You quickly avoided his gaze, pretending to put your pen back in your bag while you searched in your brain to offer him a clever response.

“- You know me, I’m always here when it comes to debating.

- I wouldn’t have expected less from you Y/N.”

The way he said your name shouldn’t have made you blush, but it did. You rapidly excused yourself before literally running away from the classroom and all these feelings that shouldn’t invade your mind. It even made you hesitate on your decision to join the debate club. But you didn’t want Mr. Jeong to think that you were not serious. So you went anyway. And even if, as you predicted, not that many people showed up, you still had a good time. You were even able to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t too often. That was until he insisted on giving you all his personal phone number, so he could organise things more easily and give you the opportunity to see museums or expositions you could later discuss on. That was a perfectly sensible decision, obviously.

However, that night when you laid in your bed and couldn’t fall asleep, your fingers hovered over his contact. It was stupid to even think about it. Why would you even send him a text ? And to say what ? Ask him if he had a good day ? Or if he planned anything for the next reunion ? It was stupid, yeah. But you were one click away from sending a text. You threw your phone to the other side of your bed, running your hands over your face. You were so stupid. Stupid for thinking about Jeong Yunho as anything else than your teacher, stupid for thinking that he would even look your way, stupid for thinking that you were any different from all the girls who were swooning over him. You were just like them and even worse.

The next meeting with the debate club came too quickly for your liking as you were not mentally prepared enough to see the teacher you couldn’t help thinking about all day long. But this was not what occupied your mind today. No. It was this one girl who thought that she was always right just because she said so. Ever since Mr. Jeong announced that the subject was going to be about music and the sense of community it could create, she hadn't shut up, interrupting everyone as if her opinion was more important. And she wouldn’t stop whining about the fact that music was too commercial these days and that there was nothing original anymore, when her playlist was essentially composed of trending songs and Taylor Swift (not that you had something against the girl, you loved some of her songs, but she was far from not being commercial.) And when you tried to argue that, no, music was not only commercial, that there were still good artists and groups that did it because they truly enjoyed and loved making music, she would get mad. Everytime someone else would defend your point of view, she would accuse them of teaming up against her.

And you were actually a little mad at your teacher for not jumping in and telling something to this girl who was clearly being unreasonable. You ended up saying that you didn’t want to talk anymore, because even if you were not one to give up, you clearly noticed that you couldn’t win this time. You spent the rest of the debate sulking and stealing glances at Mr. Jeong, who was just observing the chaos. You didn’t understand why he would not intervene, and yes, you got that he wanted to let everyone express their opinions, but was it relevant in this case ? You packed up your things rather quickly ; this whole situation put you into a bad mood, and you just wanted to forget it.

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

His voice straddled you as he came closer to you, letting all the other students go out behind the two of you.

“- Oh, uh, yeah, I’m good. Just a little frustrated, but it’s alright.

- I understand, but this moment is also made for that, even if you’re not agreeing with her, you have to respect it.

- I know, I don’t have a problem with her not being on my side, I just don’t like it when people victimise themselves to make me feel bad and let them have the last word. That’s not what a debate is about.”

You tried to stay focused on your bottle of water in your hands, and to not stare at him too much. He was wearing one of his black suits once more, and even more since the bar incident, it was doing something to you.

“- Well, I can’t say you’re wrong, but not everyone here is as mature as you are. You have to take it into consideration. And it is by talking with people like you that people like her will get it and grow up.”

You shrugged, turning your head to the side because you couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. You knew deep down that he was right, but you were too frustrated to admit it right now.

“- I’ll let you sleep on that Y/N, but don’t let it deter you from coming next time, your interventions are important and I value them. A lot.”

You nodded before saying your goodbyes and quite literally running away from him, once again. He couldn’t make you feel so frustrated you wanted to break something, and the next second made your heart beat like crazy. Because his words surely did. You knew by the way he was often relying on your answers in class that he must appreciate you as a student, but to be aware that he also liked who you were as a person was something else. It was getting bad, really bad, because you couldn’t keep under control the feelings he made appear in you. And you knew it was wrong, knew that he was your teacher, knew that he probably - surely - didn’t feel the same, but you were already in too deep.

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same as he watched you go away. He shouldn’t feel such attraction for his students, and he shouldn’t try to get closer to you, and he shouldn’t try to do all these things that led you to be alone with him. But still, he chose the next subject because he knew he would get a reaction out of you, because he knew it would get you all passionate about it and he loved when you were like this.

He didn’t miss his shot because you were the first to talk when he announced that today’s session will be about Jane Austen and feminism. Yunho knew she was one of your favourite authors as you often quoted her in your assignments and used her novels as examples, so he was even aware of your opinion on them. Thus as he was regularly doing during his classes, he decided to go against your views, just to see how you would react. It was wrong to do it only to see you get passionate and involved and slightly mad at him - because you both knew that he already told you that he agreed with your ideas.

“- I understand what you’re saying Y/N, but the fact that Austen never got married but still insisted on talking about marriage in every one of her novels could also show that it was a dream of hers, and not feminism.”

Again, you were feeling so frustrated against your teacher. But this time, it was directed straight to him. You couldn’t figure out why he would do this, nor why he was so dedicated to debating with you in particular, and not with all the other students that were agreeing with you.

“- On this aspect, her personal life has nothing to do with it. On the contrary, it reinforces what she’s showing. In Pride and Prejudice for example, Lizzie doesn’t accept Darcy’s proposal until he changes and really proves that he loves her. Plus Darcy doesn’t do all these things so she would agree to marry him, he does it only because he loves her truly. She depicts marriage as something you should do out of love, the only happy marriages in her novels are the ones where the two parties are in love with each other. Like Jane and Bingley, and you can contrast with Lydia and Wickham and how their union is never shown as a good thing, for either them or the Bennets’. I think she never got married because she despised the men of her era, and that they wouldn’t meet her expectations, because she wanted a marriage of love, not of arrangement, or relationships or money. That’s why she is showing them so much in her books, because it reflects how she didn’t like the view on marriages during the Victorian era and the sexism she was surely enduring because of her being a writer and not trying to hide it.”

You barely breathed in between your sentences, and when you finally stopped talking, you felt like you just ran a marathon. Mr. Jeong’s gaze never left yours as you spoke, and the intensity of it was making butterflies come alive in your stomach. It was as if you could feel the tension emanating from him, from his eyes staring down at you. He seemed to snap out of his haze when someone voiced out their agreements to your little speech. And after that, he quieted down just as you did. But you could still feel him stealing glances at you, and you couldn’t help doing the same.

He was wearing another one of his suits - a three piece grey suit, with thin, white strips on it. He had let go of the jacket a long while ago, and had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his forearms. And you knew you shouldn’t find that attractive, but you did. You did and it was wrong ; because he was your teacher, and because you were supposed to be a little mad at him for refuting the obvious.

So like a replay of last week, you stayed back, taking your time to pack up your things and waiting until everybody else left to talk to him one on one. Maybe it wasn’t what a good and well behaved student should do, maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do when you were feeling so attracted to him. Maybe. But you still carried on with your plan, trying to not get distracted by his handsome face, and his pretty hands arranging some papers on his desk.

“- Why do you keep on pushing me to justify myself like that ? It’s embarrassing, and everyone was so silent afterwards, it was as if I said something wrong, and it’s not agreeable to feel like you are being ridiculous.”

You never had enough nerves to talk to one of your professors like that, but maybe it was the fact that you had a pretty shitty week, or that the way he was looking at you had you feeling some ways you didn’t want to, but you felt a sudden rush of energy and courage coursing through your veins.

“- You did not say anything stupid Y/N, it was very clever on the contrary. And the reason I keep doing that is because I know you have it in you to argue with me and produce this kind of well organised speech. That’s where I want to bring all of my students, but you can always improve and develop your skills. This is what I’m training you for.

- I’m not practising to go to war, Mr. Jeong. All this is not necessary if it makes us feel bad. And why would you do that in front of other students when we already talked about this in class and they all saw you agree with me ?

- I told you, it’s only because I want you to be able to justify your answers with precise examples like you did today, because it’s important for your future assignments, for your thesis and even just in everyday life.

- But you know I’m already able to do all that, so why would you seek out my responses everytime ? It feels like you’re targeting me.”

Your cheeks were heating up as time went on, not only because you felt hot from the way all his attention was entirely focused on you, but also because you were so frustrated you could’ve yelled at him. But you had to remind yourself that he was your teacher and that you couldn’t be that disrespectful, that this was the closest you could get to having an argument with him without getting kicked out of your university. He had come closer to you as the discussion progressed, and the sudden proximity between your two bodies didn’t help with your red cheeks.

“- Yes, I’m targeting you, because I know you’re capable of coming up with things like this, and that you teach a lot to other people by doing so. I love to see you being passionate and invested in the subjects you’re talking about, it makes it fluid to listen to and to understand. Plus, that’s a debate club, disagreeing with you is my job here.”

You wanted to stay calm and collected so bad, wanted to stay as composed as he always was but you couldn’t help how he heightened all your emotions by his mere presence. And the compliments he was giving you didn’t help you relax either.

“- Yes, okay, but not when you said you approved my views two weeks ago just to change your mind now and make me look like I’ve been talking nonsense all this time.

- Don’t rely on me and my opinions Y/N, rely on you and what you’re thinking. Do not let other people dictate what you should think on a subject you know and love.

- I know that, I’m not dumb, but you’re not just everyone else. You’re my teacher and you know what you’re talking about while I don’t. I’m only making assumptions and theories when you give us facts. It’s not the same.

- I don’t know it all, what we're making when talking about books and authors who are not here to confirm or deny is always assumptions. You know that I agree with what you said, you know my opinion on Austen and that’s all that matters.

- But you made it look like what I was saying was irrelevant, you made me look like a fool and I don’t like it, especially when it’s coming from you.”

The two of you had gotten closer and closer, and you were now facing each other, with nothing in between to separate you anymore. Suddenly, you felt an overwhelming need to breathe in his scent, to take the step ahead that was distancing you from him and cut off the act.

“- What do you mean especially when it’s coming from me ?”

Your breath accelerated when Yunho stepped forward one more time, getting way much closer than decency would allow. But you didn’t make any movement to escape. Because deep down, you wanted this, you craved this. You saw his hand coming up to your face before feeling his fingers brushing against the skin covering your jaw, leading you to raise your head and dive into his eyes. You’ve never seen him from this angle, but with the light of the late afternoon casting shadows on his face, he had never looked prettier.

“- I asked you a question, Y/N.

- I… It’s inappropriate, I shouldn’t say it, I shouldn’t even think about it.”

Despite your words that should deter him from going any further, he swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, smearing your lip gloss. You could hear your own heart beating, aware of every breath you took and every movement of your body. When your eyes met his once again, it was as if adrenaline was spreading through your veins, a sensation that gave you the impression that you were flying. Your gaze flicked down to his lips one second too long for him not to notice and that was Yunho’s last straw as he let his hands drop down to your waist.

“- I don’t think I should think about what is on my mind right now either.”

As if it was the hint you needed, you grabbed his neck to pull him down to your level. Your lips brushed against his one time, and the next time they met, it was for a real kiss. Yunho squeezed your waist tighter, tugging you closer to him as he let his desire take over his reason. He shouldn’t do that, but your lips tasted like the vanilla chapstick you were always putting on during his classes and that he was dying inside to kiss away.

It was like your mouth had a mind on its own, kissing your teacher like your life depended on it. You weren’t thinking about the fact that anybody could come in and interrupt you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that what you were doing was forbidden. All you felt was the softness of his hair between your fingers, his large hands on your lower back, and his tongue playing with yours. It all felt too good to stop.

“- Where are you going ?”

You were putting on your shoes when Dajeong’s voice interrupted you, a knowing smile on her lips. She knew very well where you were going every time you left late at night, during the weekends, she just wanted to tease you.

“- San invited me over, I’m gonna stay the night.

- Of course you are.”

She gave you a little slap on your ass before going back to the series she was watching on the living room TV. Usually, you would’ve laughed or been as excited as her to see your friend but not today. When San had proposed to you to come to his apartment to fool around, you weren’t surprised. It happened often, when neither of you wanted to be alone, when you needed someone to relieve the pressure. And most of the time, you really enjoyed the time you spent together, fooling around without any feelings. But tonight, it was for more selfish reasons that you said yes.

Because when San was touching you, you were only able to think back to how Yunho’s fingers squeezing your waist felt. And when he kissed you, you could only think back to the way Yunho’s lips made your whole body come alive again. And when he fucked you, you wished it could be Yunho instead. You felt bad, both because you were using your friend to quit thinking about someone else, and because that someone else was your teacher.

It shouldn’t have felt so good to kiss him, it shouldn’t have sparked a flame and made you crave more, it shouldn’t have made you want to drop to your knees for him. You should’ve been disgusted with yourself and what you did, you should’ve been apologising to him the very next day. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate this moment, nor to forget it. It was engraved in your memory, enough for you to search him up on social media even when San was holding you in his arms, both of you still naked. It was wrong, once again, but you already crossed the line too many times to count, so who cared anymore ?

For a few weeks, you didn’t even dare to look at him too long, afraid to remember once again how delicious his lips felt on yours. And you didn’t feel his eyes following your every movement like you grew used to. It felt weird, to not have his gaze focused on you, and to see him avert even looking your way during each one of his classes. You stopped going to the debate class, and you stopped answering every one of his questions during lectures.

And Yunho felt like he had fucked everything up. He should’ve stopped when he started to be attracted to you. He should’ve stopped when he started to seek out your presence even more. He should’ve stopped before kissing you. After you ran away last time, he considered sending you a text to apologise, and ask you to not say anything about what happened. But he didn’t, he wanted to let you breathe and have some time for yourself. Except that he started to get worried about the situation. You hadn’t tried to talk about it with him, you hadn’t come to the debate class since this incident. He spent all his time trying to figure out how to handle the mess he created. That was the question going through his mind once more when you stepped into his classroom for the debate club, looking around to see that no one except you and him were here.

“- Uh… I’m sorry, did I miss something ?”

Yunho turned to you, and for the first time in weeks, he really looked at you, taking in your silhouette and your outfit - one of the little skirts you loved so much, and your signature black, thigh boots. He should’ve been stressed to see you again, anxious to have to talk to you about this kiss. But instead he felt relief wash over him, and it was like he could breathe again. He looked down at the paper covering his usually organised desk, realising that he had to answer you, even if his voice was shaking a little.

“- I cancelled today’s reunion, I wasn’t feeling very well.”

You nodded your head, looking around the classroom as if you were searching for something. You debated in your head if you should address the subject with your teacher or not. You were too nervous to talk about it, afraid that he would act like it didn’t ever happen, or worse, as if it didn’t mean anything to him. You were about to go away, to run away, like the other time, when you heard his voice behind you, loud and clear.

“- Wait ! Please, wait. We need to talk.”

You hesitated for a few moments, your hand hovering above the doorknob. Yunho saw your arm drop by your side before you turned around, taking some steps in his direction, and he was already relieved that you weren’t going to find him disgusting or scream at him. He didn’t need much time to figure out what he was going to tell you, having replayed this exact scene again and again in his head, too many times for his own good.

“- I have to apologise for what happened last time. It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, or to scare you away. And I’m also sorry for kissing you like that, it was wrong of me, I should’ve never done that. We can forget all about it, or you can do whatever you want because I’ve done enough to make things worse.”

You stayed silent, for seconds that felt like hours for Yunho. He prayed inside that you were going to forgive him, that you were going to tell him that it was okay, that you would simply not talk about it ever again and let him feel guilty about this for the rest of his life.

“- It’s okay Mr. Jeong, it was a mistake, it could’ve happened to everyone. And I have some parts to take in this too. But I understand. It was a mistake anyway, it didn’t mean anything.”

It didn’t mean anything. These were the words he unconsciously hoped you wouldn’t pronounce. Because even if he tried to deny it, it meant something to him. It meant so much that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It meant so much that everytime he sat at his desk, he thought back to the moment he kissed you. It meant so much that even weeks later, he still didn’t forget the taste of your lips, the feeling of having you so close to him. And he craved it. He needed it again.

“- It’s okay if you want to think about it as a mistake.

- Why are you saying that ?

- Because for me it wasn’t.”

His eyes crossed yours, enough for him to see this little spark he noticed before he captured your lips last time. Maybe it wasn’t only a mistake for you either. Maybe he didn’t fuck it all up. Maybe he still had a chance to make this right, if there was any way to make all of this right.

“- It did mean something to me. I… I haven't stopped thinking about it. I can’t focus on anything else other than you.”

It was as if your breath was knocked out of your lungs again. He did that too much lately. But the intensity with which he was staring at you and your lips, and his confession had your heart feeling weak. And surely, you shouldn’t indulge in your fantasy. Surely, you shouldn’t let yourself get seduced by your teacher. But you were already in too deep, and you couldn’t ignore anymore the way he was making you feel.

“- I can’t either. I think… I think you should kiss me again, maybe it’ll help.

- Maybe you’re right.”

Yunho bypassed his desk, and you joined him, throwing yourself in his arms. He cradled your face between his hands, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he put his lips on yours, sighing in relief when the taste of your vanilla chapstick invaded his senses again. And the way you were tugging at his suit jacket to pull him closer to you told him everything he needed to know.

“- Fuck… I missed you so bad Y/N, thought I had messed up everything.”

You stared up at him, now able to see the lust, the desire he had for you going through his brown eyes, and it made your inside flip. You had dreamt about this so much, even if you would’ve rather died than admitted it. But it was true. You were dreaming about having him so close to you, about having him tell you how much he wanted you, about having him just like this.

“- You didn’t, not at all.”

That was all the talking that was made. Because you already talked too much, and even if he loved hearing your soft voice, all Yunho needed right now was to taste you again, to drown himself in your body and your addicting, intoxicating scent. You didn’t stop him when he reached for your thighs to lift you up and drop you on his desk, not caring about the assignments sheets you were sitting on.

You discovered the way his lips against yours felt again, savoured the way his tongue played with yours again. And you loved it just as much as the first time, maybe even more. Because this time, you were truly desperate to feel as much as him as possible. You reached to grab his waist, spreading your legs and bringing him even closer to you. And Yunho complied, because he was just as desperate to finally have you all for himself. He let his hands wander from your back to your thighs, and feeling up your bare skin under his fingers was already driving him crazy.

You tilted your head to the side when Yunho displaced his kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jawline and then the side of your neck. He was almost devouring you, but you weren’t complaining : it was exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You felt his hands creep up higher, reaching for the hem of your skirt, and his hot breath hitting the now wet skin of your neck.

“- Do you know how bad I wanted to do this every time you walked in my classroom wearing those skirts and these boots ? Do you know how hard it was to not think about doing exactly that whenever you were looking at me ?”

You let out a moan, not really knowing if it was because of what he just told you or because of the fact that he just gave you a hickey. Your heart was beating too fast, adrenaline rushing through your veins as Yunho kissed down your clothed-covered body, making his way to where his hands were still laying. But it was only when he dropped on his knees and pushed your legs apart some more that you realised what he was doing, your words getting stuck in your throat and being replaced by a pathetic whimper when he kissed the inside of your left thigh instead.

“- Is that okay ?

- Y-Yes Mr. Jeong.

- Call me Yunho, will you ?”

You quickly nodded your head, already far too gone because of his feather like touch everywhere except where you needed him the most.

“- Good girl.”

And as if it wasn’t already enough to get another noise out of you, he pushed your skirt higher up your thighs, revealing your soaked panties to his hungry gaze. Immediately, he dived in, licking a strip of your arousal through the material of your underwear. This time, another moan escaped you and it encouraged Yunho to push the piece of clothing to the side and taste your juices for real. The groan he let out against your folds had you shivering ang trying to close your legs around his head. But he was holding them with an iron grip, making it impossible for you to move.

You threw your head back when he sucked on your clit for the first time, one of your hands flying to take a hold of his hair, keeping him just where he was. He ate you out just like he kissed you - hungrily, like a starved man, like it was his last meal. And you were loving it all, trying to keep down your noises because anyone walking by the classroom could hear you and decide to walk in, and you could get in trouble. But the thrill of getting caught was making everything feel so much better.

“- Feeling good, angel ?

- Yes, so good, don’t stop please…”

The nickname had your legs trembling in no time, and the way he was lapping at your cunt had you close to the edge already. You could feel your pussy clenching around nothing as he sucked on your clit again, making more of your juices come out that he didn’t waste any time licking up. The force with which he was holding your thighs open made you wonder if he could use the same strength to put you in all the positions he wished, if he would use the same strength on you to make you unable to move and fuck you until you passed out.

“- Yunho… I’m close…”

He hummed against you, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge. He didn’t need to do much, because you had been waiting for this for too long, and because he felt too good to resist. As you felt your orgasm wash over you, your hand that wasn’t busy in his hair gripped the first things you could reach - one of the paper scattered on his desk, and you couldn’t even feel guilty about the way you crumpled it between your fingers, the rush of pleasure taking over you so strongly you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else.

When you had regained enough consciousness for your legs to support your weight again, Yunho helped you come down off his desk, his hands not leaving your waist even when you were standing in front of him. You smiled when you saw how much you had messed up his hair, as they were going in every direction, and you tried to smother it a little.

“- Let me see you this week-end if you are free. I want us to talk, and I want to take my time with you, make you understand everything you make me feel.”

And you agreed. Of course. But you started to regret it when you found yourself all alone, in the room of the hotel Yunho had sent you the address of. You were aware that you couldn’t just welcome him at your dorm, or go to his apartment either, because there were risks that someone would recognize you. So here you were, waiting for him. Despite what had happened earlier this week, it still felt incredibly wrong to be there, to do what you were about to do. You looked around the room, where nothing felt familiar and everything felt odd, as if you shouldn’t be here. You were almost ready to leave when the door opened and Yunho entered.

He was dressed in a pair of black pants, some sneakers and a beige pullover. His casual outfit clashed with the slightly revealing white dress you were wearing underneath your trench. And you felt ridiculous for thinking that putting on something like this was appropriate, though nothing about this situation was appropriate.

“- I’m sorry, I couldn’t find anywhere to park my car.”

Yunho’s voice broke down the heavy silence hanging in the air, but it didn’t dissipate the strange atmosphere. The room was filled with tension, with unspoken words, with something dangerous and forbidden, but so tempting.

“- It’s okay, I haven’t been here for long.”

The moment was awkward, neither one of you knowing what to do with themselves. You couldn’t tell him that you were about to leave when he arrived. And he couldn't tell you that the real reason he was late was because he hesitated before coming. But all it took was one eye contact, one look a little too insistent at each other for your lips to find themselves once again, as if they knew better than yourselves what you wanted. And suddenly, nothing felt weird anymore, nothing felt wrong anymore, and everything was finally fitting perfectly - from the way he was holding your waist, to the way the skin of his neck felt under your fingertips.

“- I missed you.”

The words he whispered against your lips made you feel everything you’ve been needing without knowing it. And you thought that maybe, this wasn’t such a big mistake. And when Yunho’s hands found their way underneath the skirt of your dress to caress the soft skin of your plush thighs, your brain disconnected, letting your emotions control you instead. You got rid of your trench, the material falling to the ground and soon joined by his jacket. You didn’t resist when he grabbed you by your waist to hold you flush against him and kiss you again, finally letting your hands slip under the hem of his pullover and touching his skin. Once again, the way he was kissing you left you dizzy, unable to think about anything other than him.

“- This dress…

- Do you like it ? Or is it too much ?

- Fuck, no, it’s…”

He took another look at the way the white tissue was hugging all your curves just right, underlining your silhouette and making you look like an angel. And the fact that you dressed up just for him made his hunger for you grow even more. So when he felt the urge to kiss you again, and again, and again, he gave into it, like he had wanted to for so much longer than he thought.

“- It’s perfect, you’re beautiful.”

You wanted to compliment him right back, but he didn’t give you enough time to do so, mingling his tongue with yours instead. And you didn’t complain, because you couldn’t get enough of the taste of his lips, of the way his big hands were guiding you to sit on the bed, of the way he was looking at you. You watched closely as he got on his knees to get you rid of these thigh boots that were driving him crazy. Then, he helped you out of your dress, revealing your white lingerie set.

You thought you would’ve been shy, or embarrassed to let him see you like this. But all you felt right now was desire, and confidence. You smiled when you saw him lick his lips while staring down at your body, and while he wasn’t paying attention, you started to unbuckle his belt. Yunho let you do what you wanted, obeying when you asked him to take off his pullover. When you managed to get rid of his pants, you finally allowed yourself to properly drool over him.

You looked up at him from your sitting position on the bed, while he was still standing in between your legs. It was like crossing his gaze at this precise moment made you realise how real all of this was, and you were hit with the fact that you were really going to fuck with your teacher. But you couldn’t find it in you to fight the feeling anymore. It was too late anyway, you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to.

So you did nothing to stop him when Yunho pushed your shoulders so you would lay on the bed. You did nothing to stop him when he started to kiss your neck and covered the skin in his marks. You did nothing to stop him when his hands began to roam all around your body because he couldn’t choose only one spot to touch and focus on, because he needed all of you.

“- I thought you wanted to talk.”

But with the way your fingers were threading through his hair as he massaged your breast over your bra, you definitely weren’t up to talk either.

“- We’re gonna talk, but after I’ve fucked you.”

He punctuated his sentence by pushing your boobs out of your bra and leaning down to suck on your right nipple. And you couldn’t contradict him when all you were able to do was moan and ask for more. Yunho slowly made his way down to your panties, kissing every part of your exposed skin until he could remember every mole and imperfection of your body. And by the time he took off your underwear, you were already dripping wet and you couldn’t breathe properly anymore.

“- Please Yunho, please don’t tease…

- Why’s that angel ? You need me that bad ?

- Yes, yes I need you, I want you.”

Finally hearing it from you and not from the dreams he was making did it for Yunho as he searched for a condom in his jacket’s pocket, while you were throwing away the last pieces of clothing separating your skin from his. And you couldn’t help admiring him and his tall frame, his sculpted back, the veins in his hands and arms, his abs slightly peaking out. Everything about him, every inch of him was perfect, made by the Gods.

And you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his cock either, following his every movement as he got rid of his boxers and put the condom on. It was big, but just as pretty as him, and you already knew he would fill you up just right. When he was close enough to the bed again, you grabbed his hands, pulling him to lay on top of you and kissing him like it was the last time you could taste his lips.

“- Please Yunho, fuck me…”

And he couldn’t do anything else than do it, sliding right in with how wet you were even if you could still feel the way his cock was stretching you out. But you couldn’t help the moan escaping you when he bottomed out, nor could Yunho stop himself from groaning at how tight you were clenching around him.

“- Feeling so good around me angel, like you were made for me.”

You were ready to answer, but the force with which he thrusted inside of you stopped you from doing so, uttering a strangled noise instead that was quickly replaced by endless whines and moans as Yunho started to fuck into you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make you feel good, as if he already knew your body like the back of his hand. He found his way to your waist again, pinning your hips down to the mattress so he could do what he wanted, fuck you like he had been wanting to for far too long.

You could feel your mind drifting far away as all the tension you accumulated these past weeks left your body, washed away by pleasure and desire, washed away by the way Yunho was looking down at you with hooded eyes, lips parted and letting out the most sinful sounds you’ve ever heard. But you needed to feel him even closer to you, impossibly closer to you. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him down against you. He reached for your legs, guiding you to bend them more until he could hit this sweet spot that made your head fall back with a cry of his name.

“- I’m not gonna last long angel, been waiting for this for too long.

- Me too, I’m close, please…

- You sound so hot when you’re begging.”

You made sure to remember this piece of information before abandoning yourself to the feeling of his cock hitting all the right spots, and of his skilled fingers teasing your clit, the combination making you clench around him impossibly tight as the wave of your orgasm crashed over you. Your release triggered Yunho as he buried his face in your neck, groaning about how good you felt while filling up the condom with his cum. And the crazy thought of him filling you up instead crossed your mind, and it made the feeling of slight overstimulation even more intense.

You were so out of it that you almost didn’t feel the moment when Yunho got up to throw away the condom. You had purposefully decided to not think about all the consequences that what you just did implied, you just wanted to enjoy this a little longer. So when he came to lay down with you again, you got closer to him immediately, like magnets who couldn’t resist the attraction. His fingers brushing against your cheek encouraged you to turn your head to the side, diving in his hypnotising brown eyes. You stayed like that for a moment, simply looking at each other without saying anything. And as if it was the only thing your bodies knew how to do, you joined your lips again.

This time, it was slower, more sensual. If before you were devouring each other, now you took your time to savour the taste of his lips and tongue, to appreciate the way his hands were gliding on your skin, tracing invisible patterns on your lower back. It felt so much more intimate than what all this should have been, but it was too late, so you might as well fuck it all up completely.

This time, Yunho didn’t rush anything, letting you decide on the pace. He let you do what you wanted when you got on top of him, let you deepen the kiss, he let you caress and discover his body. Your kisses wandered from the corner of his mouth to his jawline, going down to his neck, his collarbone, his pecks, his abs, his v-line, careful not to leave any marks on him. You could hide the single hickey he gave you, but you didn’t want to take any risk. When you reached his inner thighs, his hands had made their way to your head, his fingers tangling between the messy strands of your hair. You looked up at him, the desire pouring from your eyes making his heart beat faster.

“- Can I ?

- Do whatever you want, angel.”

You smiled before you resumed your soft kisses along the skin of his thighs. But this time, you let them go up to his hardening dick. It was even prettier up close - and you’ve never thought you would say that about a dick one day, but you’ve never thought you would fuck with your teacher either. You kissed his length from the tip to the base, before running your tongue along the path you had traced. The action got a gasp out of Yunho, and you could feel him staring down at you as you kitten licked his flushed tip a few times. You wanted to take things slow, to remember this for as long as possible, but you were craving his taste, craving to feel him even more so you just took him into your mouth. He was big to say the least, and you could feel him, heavy on your tongue, stretching your throat as you started to bob your head up and down, stroking with your hands what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

Yunho watched you intently, mouth slightly open and letting out sighs and grunts because you just felt that good. The sinful vision you offered was enough to make these weeks of mentally torturing himself totally worth it. Maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were making him feel, maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were whining around his shaft, maybe he shouldn’t love the way saliva was spilling out from the corners of your mouth. But he couldn’t care less when he gripped your hair harder and you moaned around his cock, eyes watering and nails digging into the skin of his thighs.

“- Shit angel, you’re taking it so well. You’re so good to me.”

You hummed around him once more, resisting the urge to gag around him, relaxing your throat until you could take all of him in your mouth. You felt Yunho sit up straight, so he could get a better look at the way his cock was sliding in and out of your lips with ease. The sight was truly mesmerising, and he wanted to engrave it in his memory.

“- I want to fuck your throat so bad, angel. Will you let me ?”

The pleased sound you let out after he grazed your scalp a few times let him know how willing you were to do just that. Yunho pulled on your hair roughly, forcing you to take all of him, until your nose was rubbing against his stomach and your hands were desperately pawing at his thighs. His thrusts were slow but hard, just what you wanted, just what you needed.

“- You’re such a good girl Y/N, fuck, you’re going to make me cum. I can do it inside of your pretty mouth, right ?”

You agreed with strangled noises as best as you could with the way he was ruining your throat, but it was enough for Yunho to understand and a few seconds later, he buried himself as deep as he could one last time, cumming down your throat with a loud moan of your name. You did your best to shallow everything, some drops of the sticky substance spilling out. Yunho didn’t waste time picking them up with his fingers, sliding them between your lips instead of his cock, commanding for you to lick them clean, which you gladly did. When he finally let you breathe again, your throat was sore, but you were so wet you could feel your juices sliding down the inside of your thighs.

“- Open your mouth for me angel, yes just like that. Good girl.”

Yunho grabbed you by your throat bringing your face closer to his and kissing you messily. He didn’t care that he just came into your mouth, he didn’t care that he could still feel his own taste on your tongue as you made out with him, on the contrary, it made everything so much more intense, so much better, so much more special.

“- Was it good ?

- It was a perfect angel, you’re perfect.”

His hands slid down from your neck to your ass, guiding you to sit on his lap. His touch made you shiver, your back arching unconsciously.

“- Want me to return the favour angel ?

- Yes please, I want your fingers…”

Yunho pushed you so you would lay down on the bed again, his fingers immediately dipping to your core, brushing lightly against your clit. His fingertips glided with ease against your slit, collecting your juices and spreading them everywhere. And you were hypnotised by the sight, thinking about how well his long fingers would fit perfectly inside of you, how they could reach your sweet spot so easily.

“- You’re so wet, Y/N, you’re dripping on my hand.

- Please, Yunho…”

The way you were begging for him, the way you were calling his name, the way you were grabbing his biceps, trying to entice him in finally pushing his fingers inside of you - everything was driving him crazy, you were driving him crazy, and he was convinced that he didn’t want all of that to ever stop. His gaze was fixed on your face scrunching up with pleasure when he finally put one finger inside of your clenching pussy.

“- Feels good ?

- Yes, so good.

- You want another one ?

- Please…”

Yunho bit his lip when he watched you take his second finger with ease, relishing in your sweet voice moaning at the way he was able to reach so deep without making any efforts. You were being so good, and he didn’t have to do anything for you to do so. You were pleading for him so easily, like it was natural, and that was making him feel even more dizzy with want and desire for you. He started to pump his fingers slowly, the squelching sounds from your wet cunt echoing through the room along with your whimpers for more. His other hand creeped up to your thigh, making sure to keep them open. Pleasure was clouding your mind, but your eyes were unable to leave the sight of the veins bulging in his forearms as he fingered you restlessly, thinking about all the ways he could control you, about all the positions he could put you in if he wanted to.

And when it all started to feel too good, you plopped down against the pillows, not able to hold your own weight anymore from how his fingers were making you feel. Whenever he was curling them against that one spot, your brain turned to mush, and you could only whine and cry for more. You closed your eyes, already feeling close to your relief, but not wanting him to stop.

“- Yunho…

- What do you want, angel ?

- I-I want you to fuck me again, please…”

He didn’t let you have any time to think as he bent down to kiss you again, as a reward for being so good to him, so good for him, so perfect for him.

“- Cum on my fingers first, and I’ll fuck you as many time as you want, okay ?”

You nodded energetically, too turned on to think about anything else that wasn’t him. He let down your thigh to circle your clit, efficiently bringing you to your climax in seconds. Your nails dug into his biceps as the rush was taking over you, clenching around his fingers and moaning so loudly he was certain that the people in the room next to you could hear you scream his name. But he loved it, he was loving all of this a little too much.

But Yunho didn’t ask himself more questions as he got up to find another condom in his pockets. He didn’t dare interrogate why it felt so good when he entered your pussy for the second time. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know why hearing you moan his name again and again made his heart beat faster. All he wanted right now was you, all he needed right now was you and your perfect body.

This time, he wanted to feel you, to really feel you. So he purposely slowed down his thrusts, and even when you wrapped your legs around his waist, all he did was to suck another hickey in between your breasts. It was frustrating, but it also felt insanely good, the type of pleasure that made you unable to think, that made you go to another world because it just felt that good. You knew you were babbling incoherently, mewling for him to go faster, but you were already too far gone to care about how desperate you must look.��

In the heat of the moment, Yunho didn’t think twice before grabbing your wrists and pinning them down to the mattress, but you only whined and clenched around him tighter as an answer. And that made him lose control, his thrusts becoming more sloppy, without any rhythm, because you just felt that good.

“- Yunho ! I’m gonn- Ah ! Oh my god…

- Cum for me angel, fuck, let me hear you.”

His words pushed you over the edge, the overstimulation from your two previous orgasm making this one feel even more intense and fulfilling. Your moans were high-pitched, but you couldn’t keep your voice down, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else than Yunho, Yunho, Yunho. You could hear him groan as he pulled out, throwing the condom away to pump himself on top of you. He only needed a few seconds to cum on your chest, the white fluid soon covering them and even that felt good.

You felt so out of your own body that you almost didn’t register when Yunho grabbed some tissues to clean your skin. But the ringtone of your phone was like a brutal reminder that this was only a little bubble that couldn’t last forever. You got up from the bed to answer your phone, Dajeong on the other line reminding you of a gathering with some of your friends that you had completely forgotten, too focused on Yunho and what you just did. As soon as you hung up, you started to put your clothes back on. The awkward silence from before was coming back, but you didn’t want to end it like that. You wished you could’ve stayed with him a little longer, but you had to be realistic : you weren’t his girlfriend and you’ll never be. But when he grabbed your arm and kissed you passionately while you were fully dressed up and he was only wearing his underwear, it felt exactly like that.

“- Text me later, okay ? I still want us to talk.”

This was becoming too serious for you and you could feel your heart beating too fast for your liking when he cradled your face in his hands to force you to meet his eyes.

“- So you want to see me again ?

- How could I not ?”

You simply smiled and kissed him again before you left. Your legs were still weak, and when you looked at your reflections in the mirror of the elevator, it was like what you did was written all over your face - in your smudged lipstick and your ruffled hair. But it felt too good, and you were already addicted. You knew it would not be easy to stop, but you preferred to pretend that it could last forever for now.

You were afraid that everything would feel weird, that you wouldn’t even dare to look at him, or that maybe he would be the one putting an end to all of this. But he didn’t. And the way he was looking at you during his classes could only mean that he craved you just as much as you craved him. And stealing glances at each other was basically all you were able to do for the whole week, because you had a ton of assignments to work on, and because he had too much work. Both of you agreed through text that it was too risky to do anything on the campus, that nothing should happen again in his office.

However, that didn’t stop your mind from coming back to when he ate you out on his desk, or to him fucking you, or to the way his cock was feeling so heavy on your tongue. And that didn’t stop Yunho from thinking back to your plush thighs clenching around his head, or to your taste, or the way you were screaming his name when he was hitting the right spot. Every night when you came back from your classes, you laid down on your bed, trying to make the aching in your core go away, but the only thing that could satisfy you was him, and you knew it.

Your frustration reached its peak on Friday when Lola cancelled your night out because she had to work early the next morning. You knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was her colleague for calling in sick just so she could go see her boyfriend, but it still annoyed you, and it was the cherry on top. This whole week would have been stressing enough, but the fact that Yunho made eye contact with you whenever he could, and that he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours every time he handed you some documents added to your irritation.

You didn’t think twice when you sent him a text, asking him to join you to the hotel because you needed him badly. You didn’t feel ashamed of how desperate and needy you were, because you were too horny to care about the fact that you shouldn’t miss him so much after only one week of not seeing each other. And maybe Yunho should have resisted more but he longed for you, he had wanted you all week and he couldn’t contain his desire anymore.

This time, he didn’t even greet you when he entered the hotel room, going straight for your lips and taking control of the kiss, devouring your mouth as if you were his oxygen. Maybe you should've talked before doing this again, but lust was clouding his and your mind, none of you thinking about anything else than releasing the tension.

Soon enough, the floor was covered in your clothes as Yunho manhandled you on your knees, ass up and face down in the pillows, two of his fingers already buried deep inside of you. If last time, he wanted to take his time, today he just needed to ruin you, to break you down, to see you cry for him. And that was exactly what you wanted him to do, what you needed him to do to you. Your brain had already been disconnected, the words coming out of your mouth against your will.

“- Please Yunho fuck me, please wanna feel you raw, want you to fill me up, please…”

His fingers stilled inside of you for a few seconds, almost making you cry out at the loss of stimulation. What you were asking him to do was crazy, it was not safe, but the way his dick throbbed made all the thinking for him - he wanted that, he dreamt about that.

“- Are you sure about that angel ?

- Yes, please ! I’m on the pill, I’ll take a plan B, but please I need you, please…”

It was still dangerous, it was still nonsense, but Yunho wasn’t thinking with his brain anymore, nothing logical was crossing his mind anymore.

“- Fuck, you’re going to kill me Y/N.”

But he loved it, and he loved how tight you felt around him when he pushed his cock inside, loved how he could feel you even better like that, loved how pliant you were in his hold. He gripped your waist as he bottomed out, forcing you to stay still and all you could do was moan out his name like a prayer, because you could feel everything, because it felt even more intense like that, because his strength excited you. And Yunho didn’t hesitate when he started to pound into you, the feeling of your bare cunt around his dick making him delirious. You arched your back more, trying to fuck yourself against his cock because you always wanted more, you always craved more.

“- You’re such a slut, angel. Fuck ! You’re letting me fuck you raw but you get shy when I look at you, uh ? You’re so fucking naughty.”

You adored it when he called you his good girl, but the way he was holding the back of your neck to keep your head buried in the pillow, and the way he was ruining you felt just as good. The adrenaline rushing in your veins had you getting closer to the edge so quickly, but you didn’t want him to stop. You were unable to say anything else than his name, choking on your words, mewling from the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

And Yunho wanted to talk dirty to you, to whisper all the things he knew you loved in your ears, but his mind was clouded with want, and he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted was to spill his load inside of you, do the things he imagined when he was alone, these things he forbade himself to think about. But now he could, and he never felt better than buried deep inside your tight cunt.

“- Gonna cum inside of you, okay ? Gonna fill you up like the slut you are, angel.

- Please !”

The moan he let out when he stilled inside of you was so erotic you could’ve come only listening to his voice, but the feeling of his cum painting your insides white was what made it for you, your body growing limp in his hold. His grip on your neck and hips tightened, maybe enough to leave you with some marks but you didn’t care. Both of you had trouble coming down, but when you were finally able to, Yunho helped you lay down with him, your head resting on his chest as you were still trying to catch your breath. You felt his fingers brushing your hair away from your face and you looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat when your gaze crossed.

“- I wasn’t too rough, right ?

- No, it was perfect, I loved it.”

You smiled at each other, and even if it felt too intimate, and even if it was what couples did and not whatever the two of you were, he leaned down to kiss your lips softly.

“- I loved it too. I think I just want to keep spending a good time with you, I don't want things to get more complicated than they already are, if that’s okay with you. Let’s keep it as simple as possible, yeah ?

- Yeah, I’d like that.”

You were the one to kiss him this time, as if you wanted to seal your agreement, as if it was a silent promise.

“- Where are we going ?

- It’s a surprise. You can choose the music if you want.”

You didn’t waste any time going through Yunho’s playlist, teasing him about some songs you didn’t think he would listen to and finally settling on a Lana del Ray song. It had been a week since you decided to just do what felt right and not think too much, and he had asked you if you were free to spend your Saturday with him. Of course, you said yes, but you didn’t think that he would pick you up in his car and drive you somewhere, thinking he just wanted to change from the hotel you were always meeting up and show you another place, but it felt like he was literally taking you on a date.

You watched the landscape unfold through the car window, casually chatting with Yunho about how your week went, about what you ate yesterday, about which book you read lately. Sometimes, you thought that the age difference between the two of you would make things awkward, or that it would clash with your opinions. But it was the exact opposite. Your conversations felt natural, as if you had known each other for decades, as if eight years weren’t separating you. You were twenty-two, you were an adult and you could make your own choices, but sometimes, you were worried about the way he was perceiving you.

“- Y/N ? We’re almost there.”

You looked down at your phone, seeing that it had in fact been over an hour since he had picked you up and you apparently fell asleep. You yawned as you checked your makeup and hairstyle in the mirror of the sun visor, glad to see that your little nap hadn’t messed up anything. When Yunho stopped the car, you were in a narrow street, where not many stores could be seen. You were about to get out when he asked you to wait, getting out himself and making his way over to the passenger door, opening it for you and offering you his hand to help you out. And smiled up at him as you got out of his car.

“- You’re such a gentleman.

- For you ? Always.”

His cheeky smile made you giggle, but the fact that he didn’t let go of your hand as he walked you to one of the few shops on the street made your heart skip a beat. He did nastier things to you, said words that would have made anyone feel embarrassed, but for some reason, this small gesture dusted your cheeks in a pink tone that wasn’t due to your excessive use of blush.

“- I really wanted to show you this place, I think you’re gonna love it.”

He held the door for you, a little bell ringing as you entered a cute, little bookshop. The smell of old pages invaded your nostrils as Yunho guided you through the shelves with a hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t help looking all around, stunned by how much books were in there, by how many you recognized the titles of. The atmosphere of the whole boutique was welcoming and warm, the sunlight reflecting through the coloured glass of the front window displaying moving shadows everywhere and adding to its charm.

“- You like it ?”

You turned to him with a big smile on your face, almost ready to squeal with excitement.

“- Of course I like it ! If I could spend my life there I would !

- No one’s stopping you angel.”

A big smile spread on his face as he kissed your forehead and let you wander around, eyes opening wide every time you saw a title you recognized. You were fitting perfectly in the setting with the black bow in your hair, your little brown skirt and your white turtleneck. Yunho was so lost in his contemplation that he almost didn’t hear the lady holding the shop coming out of the stocking room.

“- Yunho ! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you there !

- Yeah Mrs. McMillan, I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy.”

The old lady shook her head, her long, white hair flying around as she did so.

“- I’ve already told you to call me Isabel, honey, I’m not that old ! And you brought a pretty girl along this time.”

Yunho turned back to you, watching you fondly as you piled up books in your arms, and soon enough the stack would be higher than you.

“- Is that love I’m seeing in your eyes ?

- No, not at all, she’s only a friend.”

Putting that label on you made his heart ache, because he knew you were so much more than that, and Isabel seemed to know it as well because she looked at him with a gaze filled with disapproval as you came to the counter, still smiling.

“- Y/N, this is Isabel McMillan, she has been selling books here since I’ve been alive.

- Nice to meet you Mrs. McMillan ! I have to say that this shop might become my new favourite place, there’s so many things there, it’s incredible !”

Your excitement was contagious as a smile took over the old woman's features too, softening at having someone as passionate as you to compliment her.

“- Don’t take on your friend’s bad habits, call me Isabel, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re enjoying my hard work.

- I really do. If I could, I would buy half of these books but sadly I cannot.”

As Isabel noted down the title of the books you wanted to buy - because she didn’t want to use technology, saying it was too tiring to learn these things at her advanced age - Yunho couldn’t detach his eyes from you.

“- Since you’re with Yunho, and because I’m starting to like you, young lady, I’m going to offer you a little reduction. It’s rare to see people being so dedicated to literature these days, it will not do any harm to my business to encourage you to come again.

- Thank you so much ! But I’m gonna tell you a secret : I would’ve come back, even without that.”

The old lady laughed out loud, along with you and Yunho joined the two of you, because your good mood was infectious.

“- Do you still have the book I asked you to put away last time ?

- Of course, honey, I’m a woman of words.”

She crouched down behind the counter and came up with a book she handed him.

“- I’ll pay for it, and all the ones Y/N is taking.

- What ? No, Yunho this is almost fifty euros, it’s too much.

- Can’t I spoil you ? It’s my pleasure angel, I wanna do this for you so let me, okay ?”

The nickname had you unable to hold eye contact with him much longer, and you folded, letting him pay for your books, with butterflies coming alive in your stomach as he held the door for you again on your way out. And Isabel watched all this happen, and she couldn’t help scolding Yunho in his head for being so blind about his own feelings, for being so blind to the way you were looking at him with heart eyes. But after all, it was none of her business.

“- Put the books in my car, then we can go grab a coffee if you want.

- I’d like that, yeah ! And thank you for the books, you didn’t have to.

- Yes, but I wanted to. Stop worrying about that okay ?”

You nodded as you reached his car and you dropped the books on his back seat. But before you could close the door, he handed you the book he took for himself.

“- This one is also for you. I saw it last time and thought that you might like it. Maybe you could read it while I’m reading one of yours, and when we’re done, we could hand it back with annotations and talk about it. What do you think ?”

When you looked up at him, he looked anxious, maybe because he thought that you wouldn’t like his idea. But you did, the simple fact that he thought about you when seeing this book made you feel dizzy.

“- I think I love this idea. Wait a minute.”

You turned around, rummaging through all your new books in search of the one you saw and that you bought for the sole reason that it reminded you of him.

“- I picked up this one thinking about you, actually, so you might read it as well.”

You handed him the book, and he took it gladly as you grabbed the one he picked up for you too. You finally closed the car door and you both headed downtown to find a coffee shop. The first time your hand brushed against his, you didn’t dare to take it. And the second time, he didn’t dare to do it. So the third time, you took a deep breath and intertwined your fingers with his, and he gave your hand a little squeeze, both of you wearing a bright smile on your faces.

The coffee shop you found was surprisingly pretty empty considering it was a Saturday evening, but you were glad there were not that many people. When you approached the counter, you were ready to recite your favourite coffee order when Yunho took the lead and listed down your usual as if it was written in his mind. You couldn’t even listen to the rest of the things he said to the cashier, focused on why he knew that when you never told him. He must’ve noticed you blankly staring at him, because he turned to you with a little smirk.

“- What ? You’re surprised I know this ?

- Yes, a little. How did you figure it out ?

- Well, you always come to my classes with the same thing, it was not difficult to notice.”

You rolled your eyes, mainly to hide how flustered the information made you feel.

“- You’re so obsessed with me.”

As the cashier put your orders down on the counter and announced the price of your drinks, Yunho mouthed “Yes” to you as he paid again for the both of you without letting you enough time to even reach for your purse. And before you could even start to protest, he effectively shut you up by kissing your cheek and dragging you along with him to find an isolated table where you both sat down. As always, the conversation flooded naturally, and you were not thinking about anything displeasing - in this instant, you were truly happy.

And Yunho was happy too. So when you proposed to play a card game, and that the winner could ask the loser a question about anything, he agreed, even if it was silly, it was okay because it was you. You asked him what his favourite colour was, why he wanted to become a teacher, what he would say to Oscar Wilde if he could talk to him. And he asked you which Austen novel was your favourite, why you wanted to study literature, what your biggest dream was. You were so immersed in your little game that the staff of the coffee shop had to ask you to leave because they were closing the place, and the sky was indeed darker as you got out to walk back to his car.

He opened the door for you again, and as you watched him make his way to the driver seat, you couldn’t help asking yourself if that was really all he wanted from this afternoon. After all, even if you didn’t put a label on your relationship - if you could even call it that - you knew deep down that the main reason he was seeing you was sex. And if he didn’t plan on having sex with you now, does this mean that this meeting you didn’t dare call a date was only that ? But then, it took you down a rabbit hole of never ending questions that you didn’t want to dig into.

Sensing that your mood was a little down, Yunho didn’t dare to talk too much and disturb you, even if he didn’t understand why. You had a good time, you couldn’t stop smiling and you really seemed to enjoy hanging out with him. And the thought that you could be questioning yourself about your situationship made him a little nervous, though it shouldn’t because this was what it was - a situationship. And it didn’t matter if you made his heart beat faster everytime he saw you. And it didn’t matter if you made him feel alive for the first time in years. It didn’t matter because having more with you was simply impossible. When Yunho parked in front of your dorm, all the serotonin from this day had been washed away with the doubts filling him up.

“- Thank you for everything Yunho, I had a great time.”

But your smile seemed fake, it didn’t reach your eyes as it usually did. And Yunho felt his heart clench painfully. He didn’t want you to feel sad with him. Never. You were supposed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed yours.

“- Are you really alright ? If I overstepped, tell me, please. I don’t want you to keep these things from me Y/N.”

You sighed as you turned your gaze away from him, but his hands on either side of your face forced you to look him in the eyes again. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time ? It would’ve made things so much easier if he didn’t care about you.

“- You did nothing wrong, I’m just thinking too much.

- About what ?

- I just think we should be more careful if we start going out like that because someone could recognize us. And you could lose your job, or I could get kicked out. I’m probably just being paranoid but…”

That was not the problem, but you didn’t want to talk about the real reason you were feeling so melancholic. Because it would probably ruin everything, and you needed him too much for your own good, you needed him too much to risk losing him.

“- You’re not being crazy, okay ? I understand, and if you’re afraid we might meet someone we know, we can go somewhere else next time, anywhere you wanna go, i’ll take you. How does that sound ?

- Good. It sounds good.

- Then we’ll be doing that.”

You nodded, and even if you still felt a little bad, one look from him was enough to make you feel better, to make your worries all go away. So even if your heart was screaming for you not to, you let him kiss your forehead, and then your lips, so softly it made you weak in the knees. But it felt too good to ask him to stop. So you didn’t, and you just kissed him back until you were out of breath.

“- I’m gonna go, I have to work on your assignment because fucking the teacher won’t get me a free pass, right ?

- That’s the spirit angel, I’m always expecting the best from you.

- Then I have to start now. Be careful on the road, Yu.”

He nodded and watched you get out of his car, not leaving until he saw you get inside the building of your dorm. And then only did he authorise himself to let out a sigh. Because you were too sweet to be true, because you gave him a little nickname that had him feeling much more things than he shouldn’t, because your scent was still lingering everywhere and it was driving him crazy. You were driving him crazy, to be honest.

And it was bad, really bad. Yunho didn't mean for things to go this far, but he felt like he couldn’t stop now. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to stop now that he had a taste of you. However, it still felt incredibly wrong to go home to his girlfriend when he had spent the day with you and that he didn’t think about her only once. The smell of home cooked food hit him as soon as he stepped inside, and the weight on his shoulders even more heavy as he announced that he was home.

“- You’re coming back late, baby ! But that’s okay, at least everything is ready for dinner, I made your favourite !”

Guiltiness was creeping up inside of him with every word she said, and everything sounded so fake when he served her his lie about having an important meeting with his colleagues. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t do anything for him to stop loving her. On the contrary, Hana was always sweet and caring, she was there for him and had been for years. But maybe it was the problem. Maybe it has been too long. But Yunho perfectly knew the real reason, it was just too painful to admit it, and it would make things too real.

For a while, he preferred to ignore the fact that you were making the flames come alive again in his heart. He preferred to ignore how much stronger his feelings for you were than for his girlfriend he was supposed to love and cherish and marry soon. But was it really a crime when everything she was doing, everything they were doing seemed faked, forced, done out of habit rather than because of true love and affection ? Yunho knew that he was already in too deep with you to stop, and the way Hana was not paying attention to what he was saying was making him feel a little less remorseful about the way he was only seeing your face when she was kissing him good night.

Work and classes have been hectic for the both of you these past weeks, so Yunho’s proposal of a getaway trip to the beach this weekend felt like a bubble of oxygen. Sure, you had seen each other, but for never more than a quickie. Sure, you didn’t stop sending each other texts and photos to keep up with your days, but you wanted to hear him calling you angel again. And even if it was supposed to be only that, even if you shouldn’t want that, you still missed spending time with him, talking with him. So you held on to the promise of this little break with him to finally breathe and relax.

When you finally spotted his car parked a few streets away from your dorm, and his tall frame leaning against the drivers’ door, the wind blowing his perfectly styled hair, your heart started to beat faster. The rush you got everytime you laid your eyes on him never flattered. And you didn’t really think about it when you ran to him and threw yourself in his arms. You could hear him chuckling as he buried his face into your neck, holding you closer to him and spinning you around. Both of you needed this hug, and Yunho couldn’t ever get tired of your addicting scent, breathing you in for a moment before he cradled your face into his hands to kiss you like he had wanted to these past few days.

“- I missed you, angel.

- We literally saw each other yesterday.

- But not like that.”

This comment was enough to make heat rise into your body again. But you simply slapped his chest playfully as he giggled like an idiot. But he didn’t mind your teasing, it was entertaining. Like the gentlemen he always was, Yunho opened the door of the car for you. Every time he drove you somewhere, you felt like a passenger princess - getting to choose the music, opening the windows whenever you wanted, holding his hand when he didn’t need it. The weather was starting to warm up a little, and you smiled as you felt the pleasant air hit your face, making your hair fly in every direction.

And yes, Yunho felt a little guilty for cancelling plans he had with his girlfriend to take you to the beach, but he needed it. He needed to escape from his life and his routine for just one day, but more importantly, he needed you. He didn’t want to spend his weekend with her family, he wanted to spend it with you. And as he watched you run towards the water, squealing as the cold liquid touched your bare feets, he felt like it was worth it. Your long skirt was floating around you to the rhythm of the wind, and to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful than right now - with your hair all messy, and the brightest smile he’s ever seen on your face directed at him, asking him to come with you.

There were only a few other people on the beach, allowing you to be as affectionate as you wished. The picnic both of you had prepared was spent between sweet kisses and mindless conversation. And then, Yunho laid down to rest his head on your lap while you read another book he had given to you. You mindlessly started to run your hands through his hair, smiling lightly when he released a satisfied sigh, relaxing even more. And Yunho swore he could’ve fallen asleep just like that - with the sun warming up his body and your presence warming up his heart.

“- It’s been so long since I’ve last gone to the beach…”

Your self-reflection steered Yunho out of his slumber, looking up at you to find you entirely focused on the landscape in front of your eyes. Suddenly, your tone was a lot more nostalgic, and he couldn’t help his curiosity. Because yes, he knew your body like the back of his hands by now, and he knew what you were liken but he knew so little about your past, about you - the you he was starting to fall in love with.

“- But you grew up close to the ocean, right ?

- Yeah. We used to go every weekend, it was always the best day of the week and I was so excited to go every time. But when my parents started to fight, we stopped going. Apparently, it reminded them of too many memories and they had no time to do that anymore. I tried to go alone once. I was maybe eight ? I don’t remember well, but I know that I got scolded so badly I’ve never tried it again, even as a teenager. And I kinda had an apprehension to go see the ocean again.

- I didn’t know that. I’m sorry for proposing that, we can leave whenever you want if you don’t feel comfortable, angel.”

Your eyes finally came back to him, smiling softly at him as you pushed a strand of his hair away from his forehead, your touch making goosebumps come alive on his skin.

“- It’s okay, I’m over all that now. And when I think back about it, these trips were never perfect. My parents were already fighting back then, I was just too young to understand what it meant. But today I’m here with you, so I knew it would be nothing like that. You make everything better, Yu.”

You leaned forward, pecking his lips for a second or two, but it was enough to make Yunho smile again. He had no idea your childhood could’ve been so chaotic, and from what you told him, he could easily imagine the classic scheme through which you went. And it made sense with the women you were today - strong, independent and determined. But he also learned that you needed him to baby you sometimes, and he was always willing to let you fall into his open arms every time you needed to. And the fact that you were slowly opening up more and more to him everyday felt like a reward.

“- What was your childhood like ?

- Well, I have a pretty conservative and religious family, and I’ve always felt like I’ve never belonged with them. My parents love me, I know they do, but it’s like I don’t fit in with them, you know ? It’s a strange feeling, but I’ve always been the rebel one : I didn’t do the studies my parents wanted me to do, and I didn’t follow every one of their rules as I grew up, and I’ve never had the same faith as them. I think that’s what disturbed them the most.

- The feeling of being a disappointment, and of going against the flow is never easy to deal with, especially as a kid. But look where you are now. They should be proud of you for doing a job you love. At least, I’m proud of you.”

This time, Yunho made the first move to kiss you.

“You’re really an angel, too good to be true.

- I could say the same about you.”

Because he simply had that aura that made you feel safe, that made you feel comfortable, that made you feel at home. Every time you looked into his eyes, it was as if nothing else existed, as if he was the only thing that was real. But you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dwell on what it meant, didn’t want to think about the fact that this won’t last forever. Instead, you kept on talking, telling each other some childhood memories. And it all felt so peaceful, like you were all alone, like it was both of you against the rest of the world, like you were in a little bubble that could never burst.

And Yunho really wished he could stay like that with you forever, but the sun was starting to go down and the wind was turning colder. You could’ve fallen asleep on the ride home, lulled by the way he was quietly humming to the songs of the playlist you choose. This day made you forget about everything else, made the stress go away, made all your worries disappear. But you knew it was not only because you got away, but mostly because Yunho was with you. He always had that effect on you, no matter how hard you tried to resist it. You didn’t want this day to end, you didn’t want this feeling to ever go away. So as he parked near your dorm, you kissed his lips one more time.

“- Do you want to come up ? My roommate is not here.

- What about being careful, angel ? Anyone could recognize me here.

- It’s Sunday, everyone is either locked up in their rooms working or spending the day out. No one will see you. Please ?”

The fact that you started to kiss down his neck as well as your pleading eyes were close to breaking Yunho’s resolve. He knew he shouldn’t let you have this much of an effect on him, but you had that effect and he couldn’t deny the way he weakly said “yes” and let you drag him to your dorm room. But the way you were giggling against his lips as you pushed him to sit down on your bed made him forget all about his doubts. As you dropped to your knees on the ground, settling between his legs, Yunho couldn’t help the shaky breath that escaped him.

“- I think I have to pay you back for today, don’t I ?”

The smirk playing on your lips as you unbuckled his belt and helped him get out of his pants did nothing to calm his heartbeat down. And the way you were always so eager to take care of him, to have your mouth on him, did nothing to help either. But it felt too good, so he didn’t stop you and let you kiss his tip one time before you started to kitten-lick his cock.

“- Fuck, don’t tease, angel.

- But you look so pretty like that.”

Your pouty lips made him want to spoil you but also to be a little mean. But you were such a good girl for him, taking all of him in your mouth. Everytime you were getting down on your knees for him, Yunho couldn’t help the rush of adrenaline going through his veins. He threw his head back when he felt your cheeks hollowing, sucking him in deeper. He wanted to stay like that forever, with you drooling around his cock, and his hands buried in your hair. But he needed to have his mouth on you too, to make you feel good. So he took advantage of your size difference to throw you on the bed with ease, pushing up your long skirt so he could dip his head under the material and lick a strip of your wet cunt through your panties.

“- Yunho… Please, don’t tease.

- But you look so pretty like that.”

You smiled as you lightly slapped his shoulder, eliciting a few chuckles from him before he helped you get out of your underwear and finally got a taste of your cunt. You could only see the top of his head, but the way he was subtly nibbling on your clit had you closing your eyes to appreciate the moment even more. His tongue lapping at your cunt was sending you to places you’ve never been, and you couldn’t care less about the other people at the dorm who might hear you whining his name loudly. This day was so perfect, Yunho was so perfect. You couldn’t ask for more. Or you could, but you would be pushing your luck, and you didn’t want anything else if it meant you could be with him in some way. But you didn’t want to think about all that right now, so you pushed his head further in between your thighs.

“- Don’t stop, please…”

Yunho groaned against your folds, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge, practically making out with your pussy at this point. But you didn’t mind, not at all. You wanted him, wanted every little part of his body and soul to be yours. As you felt your orgasm approaching, you started to grind against his face, moaning at the way his nose was bumping against your clit every time you rocked your hips. And when you came with a cry of pleasure, Yunho made sure to hold your thighs open for him to eat you until he had gulped down the last drop of your juices.

“- How do you taste better every time ? I’ll never get tired of it.

- Good. Because I don't want you to stop.”

Both of you were still half clothed, but you didn’t mind it as Yunho came up to kiss your lips, his tongue finding yours easily and his hands grabbing your breast over your top like a second nature. Everything felt so familiar, so right, like you were where you should be. Your lips were sealed to his, from the moment he pulled out his condom to the moment his cock entered you, only separating for a brief instant when you moaned in harmony.

And no words where needed as he made love to you. Because there was no other way to define how he was fucking you, to define the tenderness of his touch, the fondness of his gaze, the softness of his breath hitting your skin. Every sound he elicited from you was immediately drowned in his mouth, your hands tugging at the material of his shirt as you felt close to the edge again. You felt full of so many emotions you couldn’t even name them all, but you knew that Yunho was the only reason you were feeling all that.

“- I’m close…

- Me too, angel…”

The words you’ve been meaning to say for some time almost slipped past your lips as you felt the rush of pleasure course through your body. And if Yunho hadn’t nuzzled his head into your neck, he would’ve probably been about to say them too. As you came down of your little paradise where nothing existed except for him, you realised how close you’ve been to fuck it all up. And you didn’t want that - you were going to take everything you could have from this relationship, and no matter the state you would end up in, it would be worth it because it was him.

“- Hey ! Watch where you’re going Y/N !”

Dajeong kept you from walking straight into the door that opened just in front of your face. You sheepishly thanked her, and tried to not get lost in your thoughts again.

“- You seem absent since yesterday. Did something happen this weekend ?”

You knew exactly why you were so absorbed, you knew it. But you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t talk about it with her. It would mean putting Yunho in a dangerous situation, and yourself too. And what would she think of you ? You were always the first one to comment on how stupid all the girls crushing on your teacher were, and now you were the one who ended up in his bed every time he needed you.

“- It’s nothing, I just… Don’t know what to do about something and I’m thinking about it a little too much.”

Your eyes travelled from your friend by your side to Yunho’s silhouette. He was standing near the door of his office, having a lively conversation with a woman you’ve never seen before but you supposed that she was one of his colleagues. You had no right to be jealous. And you weren’t. Not really, at least. You were not jealous about seeing him with someone else, you were mentally prepared for that to happen. But you were jealous of how good she looked beside him, thinking about how ridiculous you must be whenever you were going out with him. Your age difference was visible, and everything felt much more right when he was with someone his age. But you quickly averted your gaze from them, not seeing the pained look on Yunho’s face as he turned his head your way.

“- You wanna talk about it tonight ?

- I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Dajeong smiled at you and grabbed you by your arm, trying to cheer you up a little. She didn’t like to see you down - you were always so energetic and joyful, it felt odd whenever you were like that.

“- No matter what you decide, I’m here. And I’m keeping you home for a movie night anyway.

- I'd like that a lot. Thank you.

- I told you, I’m here for you.”

You thanked her again and tried not to think about Yunho for the rest of the day. You weren’t even mad at him, except the fact that you had no right feeling like that, it was mostly because you realised that you really couldn’t be with him for more than what you already were. And it hurt more than you think it would have, because even if you tried to stop yourself from daydreaming about a future with him, you still did, and you had started to believe that it could happen, that it could be true. But you had to be sensible and remind yourself that it was impossible, that even if there was the slightest chance that he loved you, he could never do it in the open, and you were not ready to stay a secret your whole life. But you still went to his office after your classes because he had asked you to. When you entered the room, Yunho was waiting for you, anxiously chewing on his nails. He gestured for you to close the door behind you and when you made sure it was locked, you took his hands in yours, confusion lingering in your eyes.

“- What is it Yu ? Are you alright ?

- I should be the one asking you that.

- Why ?

- Because of what you saw this morning. It’s not what you think, I swear there’s nothing between us, she’s just another teacher I’m working with. I’m not doing any-

- Stop.”

And he did it, mouth closing shut as you tried to not let all the doubts and the melancholy that invaded you today be perceived in your voice or your touch. You stood on your tippy toes to kiss his lips softly, hoping that it would calm him down a little.

“- I didn’t think anything about it, okay ? I’m not mad, or sad, or anything else. And you can do absolutely what you want, you know, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything. I don’t have a word to say about your relationships.”

The words hurt you, but they hurt him too. He knew you weren’t his girlfriend, he made that clear enough so you understood that nothing like that could ever happen. But it still felt wrong to hear you say that, he still felt bad at seeing the slight discomfort in your eyes. However, you didn’t let him reflect on that too much as you let go of his hands.

“- Don’t worry about that, okay ? I have to go, I have plans with Dajeong for tonight but text me if you need anything.

- Yeah, have a good night angel.”

You smiled at him before leaving and Yunho’s heart clenched when he saw you go out one more time. Every night you spent together, you had always left before him, and every time, he wished you could stay a little more. And every time, he prayed that it would not be the last time he was going to see you. Even if everything about this was wrong, he didn’t want it to end, and for once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to think about himself, to put his happiness first and not everyone else’s opinions.

That’s why when you told him you had a really bad day, a few weeks after this incident, he decided to think about what made him happier lately and put you first. So he picked you up after class, without telling you where you were going, but it had become a habit of his to never reveal the destination of your little adventures. The ride was silent, the music being the only sound disturbing the quiet atmosphere, but as soon as Yunho parked on the hill that overlooked the whole city so you could see the sunset, you bursted into tears. Yunho pulled you into his lap, running his hands through your hair to calm you down, and encouraging you to talk to him.

“- Tell me what’s going on, angel.

- I’m just… Everything I do, it’s never enough. There’s always someone who’s doing it better, there’s always someone to remind me that I’m enough. I’m never enough, for anything or anyone.”

Seeing you like that broke his heart, but Yunho didn’t let his own emotions overpower him. He cradled your face in his hands, whipping your tears away tenderly.

“- You are enough Y/N, you’ve always been enough and the way you’re feeling right now does not reflect what you really are. You’re doing so much all the time, and for everyone. I promise you are enough, angel. And I’m proud of the person you are, I’m proud of you.”

You nuzzled your head in his chest, a little more serene than five minutes before, his scent soothing your heart and your mind, and his touch so soft and delicate you could’ve fallen asleep in his arms. You stayed like that for a moment, not needing to say anything else as his presence was enough to get you to relax, and you couldn’t say if you spent ten minutes or an hour like that, but you felt so peaceful you didn’t want to move. Whenever you were with him, it was like a little bubble engulfed the two of you, and that nothing else existed beside him and everything he was making you feel.

“- Thank you, Yu.”

And you pecked his lips to reinforce that idea. And Yunho pushed away a strand of your hair before he kissed you too, deepening it when you whimpered against his mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him closer to you. And you stayed there, simply making out and quietly talking about nothing and everything. But it was enough to calm you down. And it was enough for Yunho to be sure about what he wanted to do. But not now. Not when you were so vulnerable he felt like you could break in his arms.

“- Can you take me home ? I’m tired.

- Of course, angel. I just need to stop by the gas station.”

You nodded and kissed him one last time before getting back in your seat. Your mood was much better on the way back, casually chatting with Yunho as he drove you home with his hand comfortably resting on your thigh. You mindlessly played with his fingers, not really paying attention to the road. You only registered the notifications noises from his phone when he was out and paying for his gas. You glanced at his illuminated screen, not really wanting to know who was texting him but just out of habit, and the nickname of the person texting him was all you needed to know. “My girl 💕” was enough to understand that you weren’t the only one, that he wasn’t as invested in this relationship as you. You were aware of all these things, but to be hit by the realisation, to be faced with the truth was harsh. When he sat back down in his seat, you had to brace yourself so the tears wouldn’t spill from your eyes, so the words you were about to scream at his face wouldn’t slip out from your mouth.

“- Are you alright, angel ?

- Hum, yeah, I just wanna go home and sleep. Don't worry.”

You offered him a little smile and he caressed your cheek, but you had to mentally restrain yourself from pushing his hand away. You let him drive you home, forcing yourself to smile and seem normal and composed. Only when you were snuggled underneath your blankets did you allow yourself to let the tears fall freely from your eyes. You were expecting this to stop at some point, but not like that. You were trusting him, you thought he was telling you the truth, you thought that what would separate you would only be the fact that it was impossible, but not that.

It was so unlike him, always so kind and gentle, always thinking about you and your comfort first. That was surely why you never thought he would do something like that. But after all, you should've seen it coming. This was truly too good to be true, too perfect to last. But you would've wanted it to last for a little longer, for forever. And coming back to reality was hard, it was like waking up from a dream to realise you were only living in a nightmare all this time. That night, you fell asleep with his scent still lingering on your clothes, and dried tears covering your cheeks.

The next morning, you weren’t doing any better, if not worse. The truth was sinking in, and you were not strong enough to answer his texts yet, leaving him on read and purposely ignoring his demand to see you today. You got up from your bed either way, only because you needed to eat to compensate for your empty heart, and that what Dajeong must have cooked smelled really good.

“- Wow ! You look like a zombie. A cute zombie, but still a zombie.”

You smiled a little, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You sat down on the stool of the kitchen, watching your roommate finishing up your meal, mind clouded with thoughts of him even if he was the last thing you wanted to think about.

“- On a serious note, are you alright ?”

The casual question made you tear up again, and you had to take a deep breath so you would not cry again. Dajeong turned off the stove and came to sit down beside you, one hand resting on your shoulder as she encouraged you to talk to her. And you did. You told her everything about what had been going on between Yunho and you for months. It felt like it all started yesterday, like it was only a dream. But with the way it was about to end, you rather have not started this at all.

“- I would’ve never thought that you would be the type to go out with our teacher.

- I know. There’s just something about him that I can’t get enough of. I… I think I love him.”

It was the first time you dared to say the words. But it was true. You loved him even if you tried to resist it, even if you tried not to succumb to the temptation he was. But you gave in, and you were happy for as long as it lasted. You knew it would hurt, but you didn’t think it would hurt that much. You underestimated how important he became, how much you relied on him for everything.

“- And it’s not even the fact that he has a girlfriend or someone else that makes me mad, I was okay with that because I had come to terms with the fact that I will never be more than what we were. But he treated me like I was more, he made me think that he cared about me just to pull out something like that. And I had to find out, he didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself.

- He’s a coward, I must admit. And he clearly doesn’t deserve you. He could have never loved you like you need to be loved, you’ll always be a secret with him. It’s better like that.

- Maybe. But it hurts.”

Some tears escaped your eyes again, and Dajeong didn’t hesitate before pulling you into a tight hug, caressing your head as a way to calm you down. She knew how much a heartbreak could hurt, especially when it ended up like that, especially when it was as intense as what you had.

“- I know, lovely. It’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna stop hurting eventually. But I think you should talk with him, ask him clearly what’s going on before completely cutting him out of your life. You need closure, you at least deserve that.”

You nodded as Dajeong proposed that you spent the day together, doing some skincare and talking again and again about the same people for the hundredth time while watching some silly movies to cheer you up. And you did exactly that, trying to not think about him for at least one day. You were anxious to go back to class on Monday, fearing that everything would be awkward, or that he would completely ignore you. Somehow, you found the courage to send him a text throughout the weekend, simply to tell him that you needed some space, some time to think about you and him. You didn’t see the point of lying to him, and you silenced his notifications just after. You were strong enough to answer him, but not to witness him pretend and care about you.

Your resolve started to crumble when you saw how miserable he looked the next few days in class. His eye bags were terrible, and he seemed to have lost all his energy. Usually, Yunho would animate all his classes and passionately teach you his subject, but lately, he was only giving you some group work to do, keeping his interventions to a minimum. He spent his time sitting at his desk, either trying to grade some papers or zoning out, looking through the windows. Everytime his sad eyes fell into yours, your heart clenched and ached. But you didn’t have the strength to confront him about what you saw on his phone. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted him to deny, to tell you it was not what you were thinking and that you were the only one - even if you knew it was impossible and that dreaming about it made everything hurt ten times more badly.

You missed him. You missed hearing his voice, his laugh. You missed his smile, and the dimple he had when you made a terrible joke he couldn’t help giggling at. You missed his touch, the way every time his skin was against yours everything else disappeared. You missed being in his arms, and the sentiment of security it gave you. You simply missed him, and having to see him everyday without being able to look at him for more than a few seconds was a torture. And even if you had unblocked him because you were weak, you continued to ignore every one of his texts and calls either way. It was painful, but a lot less than if he told you face to face that he had someone else, that he lied to you, that he made you fall head over heels for you before fucking it all up, before crushing your heart in between his fingers.

One day, when you came back to your dorm, you found flowers waiting for you by the door. There was no card with it, but Yunho was the only one who knew that lilies were your favourite flowers. And you cried again when you opened the trash can only to find yourself unable to throw the bouquet away. So you kept it, putting it in a vase and placing it on the kitchen’s counter, seeing him every time you looked at the flowers.

Another day, when you handed him back an assignment and that your hand brushed against his, it was like time stopped for a moment. Your breath was knocked out of your lungs as you looked up at him, and the plethora of emotions you caught dancing in Yunho’s eyes was enough to bring you back to when he was calling you angel, to when he was treating you like the most beautiful girl in the world. You ran away as quickly as possible, because you were on the verge of telling him that you loved him, and that it would only make things even more complicated than they already were. You felt so stupid for falling for your teacher, but you felt even more ridiculous for believing that you could be more than a side piece to him.

However, that didn’t stop you from looking at the texts he sent to you, asking you to come meet him in his office because he wanted to explain everything properly. You heard Dajeong words ringing in your head as you took a deep breath and entered the room you had grown familiar with. His scent surrounded you immediately, and Yunho jumped upon your arrival. His glasses were sitting on the bridge of his nose, and his hair were completely dishevelled. You still managed to be smitten by his ethereal beauty. But the way he was looking at you with such desperation forced you to avoid his gaze quickly.

“- Y/N…”

His voice broke down, and your heart broke too, a little more every time he tried to start a sentence. Yunho wanted to forget everything, to hold you in his arms and promise you the world. But he couldn’t, and the way you were hugging yourself made him want to get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. In all honesty, he would do it in the blink of an eye if you asked him, he would do anything if it meant you would forgive him. But it was nearly impossible, and he was well aware of that, but you deserved an explanation - that and so much more.

“- What did you want to tell me ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, and you didn’t dare look his way, and Yunho didn’t dare make a step in your direction, afraid that you would run away again. But he had to tell you the truth, he had to be honest for once.

“- It’s not what you think, angel.

- Please, spare me with that, I’m not blind, nor an idiot.

- No, you’re not… And that’s why you deserve to know what is going on. The message you saw the other night was from… My girlfriend.”

You knew it, but to hear him say it was different. It hit exactly the right spot to reopen some wounds that had never healed. You already felt on the verge of tears, but you tried to keep them under control, gripping the handles of your tote bag to ground yourself in reality and brace yourself for what was coming.

“- But I don’t love her anymore, it's been a long time since I’ve stopped feeling anything for her. We met when we were in highschool, and we were a good match at that time. She was my friend before becoming more, but after all this time, there's nothing left of what I felt for her in the beginning. We were only kids, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life and my family had already planned my future with her. They want me to marry her. But I don’t, not at all. But if I leave her, I know that they will never want to see me again. So I stayed with her but you made me realise what it was to live and be happy again, and that I don’t want to marry someone I don't genuinely love.”

While he was talking, Yunho took some steps in your direction, trying to maintain eye contact with you even if all he wanted was to slap himself in the face for how stupid he had been to think he could handle this the way he did it, to think that you would never discover his secret. At least, you were here. At least, you were listening to him. It should mean something. It should mean that everything wasn’t over yet, right ? Yunho held on to that, but when he tried to reach for your hand and you took a step back, your eyes glistening with tears, it was hard to believe that everything could be alright. And to know that he was the reason you were crying made him feel even more guilty.

“- I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, angel. I wanted to do it a million times, but I was so afraid of losing what we had, I didn’t want to freak you out. And I couldn’t lose you. You are my oxygen, my breath of fresh air in the middle of all this mess, and I need you. I promise I wanted to tell you everything the night you discovered it. But you became so quiet all of sudden, and when I looked at my phone, I assumed you had seen her text. But I swear on my life, I wanted to tell you. I should’ve never lied to you in the first place, I know that, and you can’t imagine how sorry I am.”

You were now sobbing uncontrollably, trying to cover up your voice with your hand, but the hot tears falling down your cheeks were enough proof of how affected you were. Yunho wanted to cradle you in his arms, to protect you from the world like he always did, but he couldn’t shield you from himself and his mistakes. He was supposed to be your safe place, your comfort zone, not to make you feel like that.

“- Do you understand how bad I felt when I saw this message, Yunho ? I… I knew this wouldn’t last, but to realise that you lied to me all this time was even more painful. You made me believe that we had a future together, and you treated me like your girlfriend even when I was not, even when you had someone waiting for you at home. And it hurts.”

Your voice broke down on the last words. You felt pathetic, some kind of silly, naive girl who couldn’t see what was right in front of her eyes, some kind of idiot who thought that it could end well, that it could end without you suffering too much.

“- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising if that’s what you want. We can have a future together, I want a future with you.

- I can’t see it. I-I can’t ask you to leave her, and to turn your back on your whole family for me. ”

One tear rolled down Yunho’s cheek, and you wanted to wipe it away, but he did it himself before you could do anything. It was better like that. If you felt his skin against yours again, you didn’t know if you would be able to finish what you started.

“- I could do it. If it’s what it takes to keep you with me I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I love you so bad it makes my heart ache. I’m ready to do everything it takes to be with you. Everything.”

You should’ve been happy to hear these words you were longing for him to say, only weeks prior. But right now, it only broke your heart more, it only pushed the knife a little deeper into your open wounds.

“- That’s not what I want for you, you deserve better. I don’t want to fuck up your whole life, even if it meant I could love you.

- But you are my whole life, you’re the only thing I need.”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to say yes so bad. You wanted to fall back into his touch, to fall back into his arms. But you couldn’t. Still, you let him caress your cheek, swiping his thumb against it to get rid of the tears that had dropped there. It was like you could finally breathe, as if the weight on your heart and the knot in your throat had disappeared only because he touched you. He always had that effect on you. But you had to leave, you had to leave or you would cave in and you knew it wasn’t good for you. So you took his hand in yours, pushing it away slowly, as if not to scare him away. You looked up into his teary, brown eyes. It broke your heart to see him in such a state, but you had to think about yourself too. You had to take care of yourself now that he wasn’t here to do that anymore.

“- I’m sorry, I need some time to think. I’m… Not sure I can love you like this anymore. I’m sorry.”

He tried to smile at you, but it was joyless, without this little sparkle in his eyes that you loved so much.

“- You don’t have to apologise, angel. You did nothing wrong, I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the only one to blame here. Take all the time you need, I’ll wait for you.”

You nodded, and you finally let go of his hand, painfully slow to feel his touch for as long as possible. You took a last look at him before turning away and unlocking the door of his office.

“- Goodbye, Yunho.”

It felt like you were saying farewell, and Yunho wanted to run after you, to beg you to let him still be a part of your life. But he had to respect your choice. So he stayed still, standing there as if it could freeze time in place and give him the ability to come back in time and do things differently. But it was too late, and the only thing he could do was give you space and hope you would grant him a second chance, and hope you would be kind enough to forgive him even if he didn’t deserve it at all.

You thought that clearing up the situation with Yunho would make it easier for you to move on and forget him as you had initially planned, but you clearly were in the wrong. Feeling his eyes on you was even more painful now. But at least, he seemed to have found his energy back. It was the only thing that made you feel a little better. Because you felt like shit, even if you tried to convince yourself that what you did was for the best, that you couldn’t be together, that you had to be sensible, you didn’t want to do all that. You craved his touch, his kisses, his loving gaze. You craved him and his soothing aura. You craved his love. You wanted him back, but everything was so complicated, everything was so messed up, you weren’t even sure it could work.

Even if Yunho respected your wish for space and time, he still hadn’t stopped texting you throughout your days - reminders for you to drink, eat and rest properly. You never answered but you saw the messages and it was all that mattered to him. And even if he tried to come back to his daily life, to his routine, he couldn’t. You had taken such an important place in his heart that everything felt empty without you and your smile to brighten his world. Nothing felt as appealing as before. Reading couldn’t take his mind out of things anymore, because he could only see your annotations on the ones you had given to him. And everytime he passed by Mrs McMillan bookstore, his thoughts immediately came back to you and how pretty you looked that day.

So when some colleagues from the university invited him to have some drinks after work, he said yes. Yunho hoped that some alcohol and talking about anything and everything could take his mind off of you. But all it did was make it worse. With each drink, he felt the urge to call you even stronger. All he wanted was to at least hear your voice, hear his name fall from your lips, see your face, even if the pain he caused was written all over it.

“- Angel…

- Yunho ? Why are you calling me ? Is there something wrong.”

He sighed in relief at finally hearing your voice ringing in his ears again, at finally hearing you say his name. He preferred the surname you had granted him, but he would take everything that you were willing to give him.

“- I just… I miss you, and I need you, and I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you again. Because I feel like I didn’t apologise enough.

- It’s okay, I swear. I told you I need some time. Everything is…. Puzzling.

- Still, I’m sorry.

- I know you are.”

There was silence, but the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet made a little bit of hope blossom in his heart. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe there was still a world in which you could grant him your forgiveness.

“- I can’t imagine my life without you. I tried. But I can’t. I need you, angel.

- You know that we can’t, that I can’t. You have a girlfriend, and your family, a career. I can’t just come in and mess up everything.

- I don’t care about all of that. If I’m with you it’s worth it. Please, angel, let me at least see you, even if it’s the last time I get to have you. I want you, one last time. After that, I’ll let you go if that’s what you really want, and I promise you will never have to worry about me again.”

You stayed silent for a while again, your defeated sigh being the only noise echoing through the line.

“- Okay. But this is the last time.”

However, when you joined him in the hotel room you had grown familiar with, you didn’t want it to be the last time. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. You didn’t talk, afraid of the things you could say, afraid you would beg him to stay, to come back, to do exactly what he swore he would do if only you asked him. But you tried not to think about that as you let him kiss you tenderly, as if you were going to break under his touch. And you might, because you needed him so bad it made everything hurt when he was not there.

No words were exchanged as you got rid of your clothes. No words were exchanged when you pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his thighs. No words were needed when you kissed him for the first time in weeks. It felt like you could both finally breathe, like you felt alive again, and it made all the pain go away for just a moment.

“- I missed you, angel, missed you so fucking much…

- Me too, Yu.”

This was all you were able to say before he shut you up with another desperate kiss, making out with you as if it was the last time he got to have your lips on his - and maybe it would be. So you just decided to shut off your brain, simply running your hands through his hair and thinking about nothing else. You wanted to take your time and appreciate his touch, his eyes and the way he was moaning under your hands, but it felt like you were in a hurry, quickly discarding both of your underwear and sinking down on his cock. You gripped his shoulders, closing your eyes as you let yourself bask into the feeling of finally being full. But your desire took over you, grinding on his dick desperately.

And Yunho couldn’t look at your face, couldn’t see your beautiful eyes without thinking back to them filling up with tears the day he messed up everything between the two of you. But his body was overwhelmed by the feeling of you wrapped around him after weeks of only being able to look at you from afar, relying on his souvenirs to remember what it felt like to kiss you. He desperately wanted to engrave your face in his memories and keep it there forever, but it was too hard. So instead, he just flipped you over the bed, burying his head in your neck to not be tempted to cross your gaze anymore. But his hands still found their way to yours, fingers intertwining as he sped up the pace of his thrusts, both of you moaning in harmony.

It wasn’t as intimate or as emotional as Yunho wanted your last time together to be like. But the alcohol was clouding his mind even more than everything he felt for you, and the urge to make you his - even if you weren’t, and that you would never be - was taking over him more and more with every clench of your cunt around him.

“- Fuck, angel… Tell me you love me please…”

You didn’t want to, because you knew how that would make both of you feel, but the words spilled out from your lips before you could stop it, squeezing his hands tighter.

“- I love you, I love you so much…”

It was enough for Yunho to feel a rush of emotions and desire flood through his veins, his thrusts becoming sloppy and losing any kind of rhythm. It all felt too much, from the way he was hitting your sweet spot to the way his little whines mixed with “i love you”’s that made your heart throb and your mind wanting to hear more of them. It all felt too much to the point you felt on the verge of tears as he laid on top of you, trying to regain some consciousness. But you were fully aware of everything that had just happened, and even if you wanted nothing more than to spend another night in his arms, you knew it wouldn’t do you any good. So you stayed like that until he fell asleep, murmuring again and again against your skin how much you meant to him, that he needed you. And then you ran away, putting your clothes back on in a hurry and checking out your appearance in the mirror of the elevator you had grown familiar with. Except that this time, there was nothing left from the joyful sparkle that usually brightened your eyes whenever you left the hotel. All you could see was how miserable he made you once again, all you could see were the tears cascading down your cheeks and along the marks he left on your neck. You slapped your hand on your mouth, pathetically trying to cover up your sobs. It hurt even more than that day, for some reasons. It all hurt too much to hold it in.

When Yunho woke up in the morning to an empty bed, he was not surprised, but he was still disappointed. He wished he could have woken up one last time to your pretty and relaxed face, he wished he could have held you through the night one last time. Even if it happened only a few times, when you were too tired to go back to your dorms, it still felt incredibly right to open his eyes and see you all cuddled up against him. Getting up and leaving the room he had so many memories in revealed to be a lot more difficult than he thought it would have been. He took his time getting dressed and making sure he didn’t forget anything before slowly closing the door behind him. Taking a quick look at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror like you did only a few hours ago was enough to notice how wretched he was. His hair were a mess, his eye bags were even worse than a few days before despite him having overslept, and his clothes were wrinkled. But the way it was written all over his face was even more telling.

The ride back to his apartment was like a walk of shame - because he had promised to his girlfriend that he would be back before 2am, because he made you suffer again, because he felt like shit, like there was no escape from this situation he put himself in. Yunho only had time to hope that Hana was still asleep but as soon as he opened the door, she jumped from her spot on the couch where she had apparently spent a lot of time worrying, seeing how panicked she seemed.

“- Where were you !? You told me you would be back last night and it’s fucking 10am, Yunho !”

Her anger was totally justified, but the only thing he wanted to do right now was to just be swallowed by the floor, or to curl up in his bed and not get up for the next three years.

“- I’m sorry, baby, I…

- You what !? It’s the fourth time you’re pulling something like that on me this month, what is going on !?”

Yunho was ready to serve her another well prepared lie, the ones he kept on telling her since he started ditching her to be with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say that they all got back to one of his coworkers apartment to keep drinking after the bar closed, and that his phone died so he couldn’t warn her about it, and that he was too drunk and out of his mind to think about borrowing one of his colleagues’. He couldn’t lie to her right now, he couldn’t anymore. And as if it was now a habit every time you sneaked into his mind, he felt tears prickling his eyes, dropping his head low like the coward he was because he couldn’t bear to see her hurt, to see her crying because of him too. And as it had become quite usual for him through the course of these last weeks, apologies slipped past his lips.

“- I’m sorry Hana, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry…

- Yunho… Tell me what happened, talk to me. You’ve been so distant and quiet lately, it’s not like you to be so… So absent.”

He wanted to answer, to finally tell her the truth, to tell her everything, but he couldn’t get any word to leave his mouth, only quiet sobs resonating in the hallway as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Slowly, Hana got closer to him, taking his hands in hers and guiding him to the couch where he sat down without any resistance and let her pull him into a hug. She could hear his voice shaking and breaking down everytime he let out another apology. It took a long moment for Yunho to finally be able to calm down and find his words back. And when he did, it didn’t make things easier, it didn’t make telling her easier.

“- I… I met someone.”

The sad but knowing smile spreading on her lips told him everything he needed to know. Because, of course, she was not dumb. Of course, she had understood a long time ago what was going on. Of course, Yunho was the only asshole, the only one to blame for everything he put her, and you, through.

“- I expected you to say that.

- I’m so fucking sorry, Hana. I never meant for that to happen, I hadn’t even thought about doing that before I met her. And once it started I couldn’t stop, and when I wanted to tell you everything, it was already too late to not hurt you, and I just got carried away. I’m sorry, I really didn-

- Stop ! Just… Stop.”

So Yunho did, anxiously watching her as she ran a hand through her hair, probably trying to come up with an easy way to tell him that he was a bastard. Which he was, to be honest.

“- I’m not an idiot. I know that you stopped loving me years ago, Yunho. And I’m not blind either, I saw how you got that sparkle in your eyes back one day, and I knew very well it was not because of me. And before you say anything about being sorry, I know it. I know you are, and I know that you wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me even if I’m just a friend in your eyes.

- Hana…

- Don’t look at me like that, it’s not a big deal. We’ve been a couple since highschool, it was impossible for us to keep on loving each other until the end of times. I stopped feeling any romantic feelings a while ago, too. Our families are simply what they are, and we can’t change them. But I’m kind of glad you gave us a valid excuse to break up.”

Yunho couldn’t help the giggles that escaped him. She always had that dark humour that he loved so much, and that nobody got except for him and her.

“- You did not just forgive me for cheating on you because you wanna break up, right ?

- Oh, I certainly did !”

Both of them laughed it off, and it was like a weight was lifted off of his chest, like he could finally breathe a little better. Not as well as when he was with you, but it was a little less bad, now.

“- You’re sure you wanna do this ? You know how much trouble we’re gonna get into if we break up, right ?

- I know, and trust me when I tell you that I’ve thought about it a lot before. And I’m ready, I don’t want them to dictate my life anymore. I think you can understand that better than everyone else.

- Yeah.”

Silence fell back onto the room, and Yunho never felt more at home in his own apartment than after having agreed to break up with his years-long relationship. But he knew it was better like that, knew that they both needed to finally close this chapter of their life and take a new beginning.

“- We’re still friends, though, right ? I still need to hear you spill all the tea about your weird coworkers.”

Hana laughed loudly, and the smile spreading on her lips had never been this wide since so much time that he almost forgot what she looked like when she was happy.

“- Of course ! And I wanna know all the updates about that girl, because she must be brave to want to engage in a relationship with you.”

It was his turn to smile and let happiness fill him again. Why he waited so much time to finally be honest with her when it was clear that they had no feelings for each other anymore would certainly forever be an enigma. But at least, they were both free. At least, Hana could find someone that will truly love her, that will love her like she deserved to be loved. And Yunho didn’t know if that would be enough to convince you that he was serious about you, that he truly loved you, but he had to try. Because you were worth every tear he shed, and all the pain in the world. He would go through these weeks of anguish again and again if it meant you would take him back.

But Yunho had always been a gentleman - and yeah, it was ironic to describe himself like that after everything he had done - and he let you have as much time as you needed, as much space as you asked for. And even when the urge of letting you know about everything that happened was strong, he resisted the temptation to call you, or to send you a text he knew you would not read because you stopped doing that since that night.

Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, it was as if the first time he kissed you in that empty classroom replayed in his mind, it was as if he could still see himself wearing his leather jacket more often only because it still smelled like you and your perfume, it was as if he could still hear you say you loved him for the first time. Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, he wished you wouldn’t shy away, he wished you wouldn’t look so hurt, he wished he could go back in time and not do all the mistakes he did, he wished he could do everything right and make you happy, and love you right.

Still, he let you run away after every class so you wouldn’t risk staying in his presence too much. Still, he let you slip through his hands a little more every time you answered his questions about books he had given to you without that energy and passion you had when it was only the two of you in that hotel room, when everything was still perfect. But it also felt like if he didn’t do something right now, you were gonna leave and never come back in his life. He had to do something, he had to stop being a loser, he had to show you that you were never the second choice.

You were surprised to find another bouquet of lilies on your doorstep before going to class on a random Wednesday. It had been weeks since you last talked to him outside of classes, and it had been more than two months since you last looked at his texts. You weren’t strong enough to block his number again, but you tried not to open the messages anymore. This time there was something written on a little note ; him asking you to meet him by the hill he showed you the night it all went down if you were willing to listen to him, and that if you didn’t come, he would understand that you didn’t want to see him again and that he would leave you alone, no questions asked.

You thought that you would hesitate more, but in your heart, you had already made the decision to go as soon as you saw the bouquet of your favourite flowers he managed to remember even months after you told him. When you parked your car at the spot he had showed you, his was already there. Yunho was waiting for you, contemplating the cityscape, leaning against the hood of his car, hands in the pockets of his black pants, his white tee moving along with the wind. He looked good in anything, but these simple outfits were always making him look so cosy that you wanted nothing more than snuggling in his arms.

The warmer wind of the end of spring hit your face as soon as you put your feet outside, the breeze making your hair and the skirt of your flowy dress fly around like you were in some type of dramatic movie. Expect that in those, it always ended well, and that you knew for a fact that your happy end was impossible. But Yunho turned to look at you almost in slow motion, and this time, you couldn’t avoid his intense stare, and this time, you wanted to dive back into whatever the two of you had.

“- You came.”

His voice was steady, but you could still hear the relief seeping through his words.

“- You asked.”

It was as simple as that, as simple as breathing and walking, as simple as reading and writing. He asked, he called, and you were there in a heartbeat because you would sell your soul for him.

“- We broke up. We agreed that we didn’t love each other anymore for a long time, and that it was the best decision for both of us.”

You wanted to be sarcastic, wanted to tell him something along the lines of “you want a medal or something”, but it was only because you didn’t know how to deal with that information. Because you didn’t know if it meant anything to him, if it meant anything to you. Before you could think about a kinder response, Yunho continued.

“- I told you I was willing to do everything if it meant I could be with you, and I was serious. This is the first step, and I’m gonna go all the way even if you’re not willing to give me a second chance because you made me realise how wrong I was all this time.

- But you have a family, friends and a job. You won’t give all that up for me, I don’t want you to.

- Angel, I’m taking all these risks because it’s for you, because I want you to see that I’m ready to do anything it takes to be with you, and that I’ll keep proving that you didn’t make a mistake by choosing me if you’re letting me come back into your life. My family gave up on me a long while ago, it’s only time for them to understand everything they put me through. And I believe that my friends will be wise enough to choose to support me, because you’re my happiness, and that’s what they should wish for me.

- Yes, but you’ll still be my teacher.

- I’ve been your teacher until then and it didn’t cause any problems, did it ? And even if I got in trouble, I know we would figure something out. You mean everything to me Y/N, and I will spend the rest of my life making myself worthy of you if you let me because I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else before.”

Your mind wanted you to say no, but your heart was begging for you to say yes, to give in, to let yourself be happy. And for once, you decided to stop being reasonable. For once, you decided to let things go, to let him guide you through it, to let yourself live.

“- You already are. You’ve always been worthy of me, Yu. I-I love you too, I love you so much.”

This time, when tears started to run down your cheeks, Yunho didn’t hesitate one second before pulling you into his arms, running his fingers against your back to soothe you. The way you immediately circled his waist to have him closer to you made his heartbeat pick up, and you chuckled lightly against his chest when you noticed it. And you stayed like that for who knows how long. The only thing you were aware of was that you’ve never felt as good as when you were in his arms. And maybe it was wrong, maybe it was a mistake. But it felt just right, it clicked perfectly, like the last pieces of a puzzle you had forgotten on your desk for years and that you finally came back to complete only now. When you raised your head to look him in the eyes, Yunho smiled, and you couldn’t help doing the same, especially when he kissed your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips.

“- In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

You wanted to slap him for being so cheesy, but the way your heart missed a couple of beats at the intensity with which he was looking into your eyes rendered you unable to talk, unable to think about some quote to say back to him.

“- If you keep on confessing to me like that, I might give in, you know…

- Don’t worry about that, angel, I have a ton of citations you’re gonna love.”

His boyish grin made you smile wider, and you couldn’t help the urge to kiss him again, because now you had the right to do so. Being the teacher’s pet had its downsides, but in terms of love confessions, you were certain that Yunho would never run out of ideas. And you were okay with that, because as long as he was with you and that you were with him, there was no way something would go wrong. You smiled at him, and he smiled at you, and as the sun set behind you like in the romance movies you despised, you thought that maybe, happy endings were not so bad in the end, especially when you were the one getting kissed passionately at the end of the film.

-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

Text

private lessons

summary: Professor Jeong is kind enough to help you with your assignments after-hours. genre/pairing: professor!yunho x student!reader, college au, smut wc: 1.8k warnings: SMUT MDNI, meandom!yunho, sub!fem!reader, risqué topic but they are both of age consenting adults, monster cock jeong yunho agenda, lil degradation, the use of ‘slut’, creampie bom note: bad day today and my brain went uooghhhh professor yunho backshots and it cheered me up so maybe this will cheer u up too

Professor Jeong is the kindest man you’ve met.

He’s quick to answer your questions and complement your work. He greets you every morning with a kind smile and a wave of his hand, glasses slipping down his nose as he scutters around with piles of papers in his gentle hands. He watches you a lot. It’s often you look up during a lesson and find that he’s already looking at you with a feeling you can’t quite name. You chalk it up to him keeping an eye on his star pupil.

It’s the beginning of the semester and you’re not sure how, but you’re already struggling. Professor Jeong, amazingly enough, immediately took notice of your slipping grades and offered extra help before you could even ask. Graciously, you accepted his invitation to discuss your latest assignment with him in his office. You don’t think much of it. Him personally inviting you to his office hours is completely normal.

Right?

His office smells like a coffee shop, oddly enough. It’s a cramped space with piles of papers everywhere, but you spot his brown head of hair behind his computer and knock on your way in.

He seems to light up at the sight of you, leaning back and stretching in his chair, “Good to see you, miss,” God, his white button-up shirt is impossibly tight, “I was hoping you’d show up. Most of my students bail.”

You shyly giggle at the boyish smile he gives you, “Well, I’m not like the rest of your students, Professor,” his veiny hands come up to fiddle with his tie, “And ‘miss’ makes me feel old.”

He chuckles quietly as he organizes the mess on his desk and beckons you to sit, “Well, I’ll refrain from calling you ‘miss’ if you call me Yunho instead. We’re practically the same age anyways. Deal?”

Yunho’s rolling the sleeves of his shirt up as he speaks to you, and it causes you to malfunction. All you can do is stare hungrily and unabashedly at his pale skin.

“Deal.”

Tongue poking his cheek, you watch as his eyes run over you. The smile he holds on his face is deceivingly sweet. He’s holding back from saying something, just barely, and you want to unravel whatever thread makes the thoughts in his head. You want to unravel the threads in his clothes the longer he watches you like prey too, but that’s neither here nor there.

Yunho seems to swallow his words for a moment, adam’s apple bobbing as he pretends to gather all of the necessary materials. In reality, he’s attempting to gather all the strength he has to ignore the purposeful cleavage you’re showing. He knows it’s inappropriate to glance, but is it really his fault when you’re so clearly putting on a show for him?

He looks at you over his glasses, eyebrows raised and smile cheeky, “Don’t you get cold?”

You feign innocence, etching confusion on your face and leaning in just close enough so he’ll catch a whiff of your vanilla scented perfume, “What ever do you mean, Yunho?”

A puff of air escapes his nostrils in disbelief. You’re very aware of what you’re doing to him. He removes his thin-wired glasses, soft eyes turning intimidating once you’re meeting them with zero layers. He tilts his head at you questioningly, slender hand cupping his chin in mock thought. Everything he does is unwittingly graceful, elegance in his nature.

“Did you really come here for help on your essay?” He asks tauntingly and softly.

You mirror him, “Don’t act like you don’t stare at me during lectures,”

He chuckles at you and leans back in his chair, “I don’t. Is that what you think?”

The pout on your face is enticingly cute, “Don’t lie, Yunho.”

“Are you calling your professor a liar?” He raises a brow at you and you shrink in your seat.

Yunho continues as he leans on his desk, eyes focused on you and glancing down every once in a while, “I stare because you’re a slut, sweetheart. You let everyone on campus see you like that?”

A blush blooms bright on your cheeks now and Yunho lets out a mocking giggle. He’s unfortunately got you pegged. In truth, you only revealed skin on days you knew you’d see Yunho. You’ve been preparing and fantasizing about him using you like his own fuck toy ever since the first day he stepped into the lecture hall. Now that it’s happening though, you fear you’re in over your own head.

You look down under his scrutinizing gaze, “N-no. Just you, I only dress like this for you.”

He hums, standing from his desk and walking over to your side. Even the sound of his footsteps is intimidating, echoing in the reaches of your mind and igniting a fire in your gut. You feel a warm hand on your chin, his slender fingers sending sparks where they touch your skin. He lifts your head to face him and you listen on instinct.

He wears a smirk now. Like he’s a mastermind who’s trapped you, “Prove it to me, sweetheart.”

You sit there frozen for a second, only staring up at Yunho as your brain fries. He tsk’s at you as he leads your hands towards his belt buckle. Once you understand and start unbuckling his belt, he smiles and pats your head. It only makes your mouth water more.

The cock that greets you when you finally unzip Yunho is comedically big. You look up at him with nervous doe eyes and he feels himself get harder. He runs a comforting hand through your hair, throbbing and hissing when he feels you lick a long stripe along the length of him. You keep teasing him like this, licking what you can and keeping your lips on his leaking tip before he decides he’s had enough.

He places both of his hands on the sides of your head, holding you on his cock, “Sluts don’t get to tease,” he forces you an inch down him, the wetness of your mouth clouding whatever resolve and restraint he has, “You just suck my cock. Got it, pretty girl?”

He feels you nod through the cock stuffed in your mouth. Yunho guides your mouth along as you try to take all of him in, tears welling in your eyes with every inch you take. Watching you struggle to take him has his mouth hanging open, beads of sweat falling from his forehead. It takes all he has not to fuck your pretty mouth stupid.

You get as far as you think you’ll be able to before you push off of him, leaving kisses on his pink cock and trailing saliva strings. Yunho slaps his cock tip on your tongue when you open your mouth upon request, feeling his ego swell when you obey to his every command. His very best student.

Yunho leans down to kiss you, messily and provocatively. He refuses to let you get any air, stealing any that you have as he holds you to his lips. He tastes himself on your tongue when he makes his way into your mouth, your body limp against him as you let him do what he wants.

He pants into your mouth, “We’re gonna train that pussy next,”

You whine and hold his wrists, still drowning in everything that is Yunho, “Y-yunho, what if someone walks in…?”

He separates from you, once again bringing a hand to your chin to force your attention on him, “Now the little sluts worried?” He pulls you up by your shoulders, turning you around and folding you onto his desk instantaneously, “I think you’d love it if someone walked in on your Professor stuffing you with his cock.”

You shake your head, denying the idea even though you can feel yourself dripping at the thought of someone seeing you like this. Yunho brings a hand down and under your skirt, rubbing your slit through your damp panties. Your pretty white panties, he finds as he lifts your skirt over your ass.

His voice sends chills down your spine as he leans in and whispers in your ear, putting all of his weight onto your back, “Don’t you feel yourself, princess? I’m gonna destroy this little pussy whether someone watches or not,”

He slides his cock along your panties, patience disappearing as slender fingers slide under the fabric to pull them aside. You feel him at your entrance, his precum and your slick mixing as he attempts to bottom out. The stretch is unbelievable, but for once you feel like you’ve had your fill. He has you breaking down, moaning, and toppling the stacks of papers on his desk when he’s not even fully in.

The metal desk is cold under your cheek and your fingertips, “‘S so big, Yunho,”

He chuckles at how broken you sound, “You can take it, sweetheart. Isn’t this what you came to my office for?”

“Y-yes! Yes!” He slides fully in, groaning at the way you suck him in and mold yourself around him. You’re leaking all over him. He pushes his bangs out of his face, sweat clinging to his skin as he holds your hips. Yunho waits for you to settle before finally moving. When he does, it feels like every nerve in your body has collected in your pussy. He raises your sensitivity to its maximum, the lewd sounds of your pussy squelching around him filling his office.

He sets a quick pace, rhythmically slamming his hips into yours and moaning into your ear with every thrust, “You’re so tight for me, princess, fuck, you’re gonna drain me.”

His balls slap against your skin, pounding you over and over unforgivingly into his desk. He’s lost all sense of restraint. Yunho’s hips begin to stutter inside of you as his moans grow whinier, his forearm wrapping around the front of you. He holds you tightly against him before thrusting one last time and making sure to cum deep inside you. He jolts every couple of seconds, gently fucking his cum back inside of you. Yunho likes the feeling of marking you.

The cramped room is searingly hot now and smells of sex. You try to gather your bearings on Yunho’s desk, next to a printed copy of your own essay and his forgotten cup of coffee. You’ll be surprised if someone didn’t hear the two of you fucking like rabbits.

Yunho lifts himself off of you, letting your panties cover your pussy again. His cum and your slick mix again and a part of you is disgustingly proud to walk around like this, secretly knowing you belong to him.

He’s buckling his belt again, smiling like a shy love struck boy with red cheeks and sweaty forehead, “Same time next week?”

516 notes · View notes

yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

Text

Hopeless Desire

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: smut, fluff, bits of angst

Word count: 12.5k

Summary: You were Mingi's younger sister by six years, and had a crush on his best friend Yunho since you were nine. You harbored this crush for years, never thinking it would go anywhere. Little did you know, Yunho had recently started to feel the same. But you're his best friend's little sister, so what can he do?

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, vague mentions of toxic family dynamics (honestly very vague), vague mentions of Mingi having mental health issues (also very vague), pls lmk if I missed anything!

A/n: This idea came to me a few weeks ago and I had to start writing it; hoping this reaches it's intended audience if it reaches anyone at all. Please enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You will never forget the day you met Jeong Yunho.

It was a humid summer day, the late August weather completely punishing. Only a few weeks before the start of school, your older brother Mingi had brought you along for the day at your mother's request, slightly begrudgingly. You and Mingi were close but there were six years between you, and at certain ages this age gap was challenging. The now fifteen year old didn't want his little sister disrupting his plans with his best friend. He tried not to let his feelings show, not wanting to hurt your feelings. He was just sad that him and Yunho couldn't spend the whole day by themselves.

Him and Yunho brainstormed appropriate activities for a nine year old, and finally landed on taking you to the popular amusement park in town. You don't remember your trip on the train, it was ten years ago now. But you do remember the important things. You remember walking up to the gates and seeing him standing there, struck by how tall he was. You remember him buying your ticket for you, and buying an ice cream for you. You remember him shielding your eyes from the sun while you stood in line for the most popular ride. You remember him making you drink water so you wouldn't become faint. You remember every little touch, every time he kept you from running into an oblivious man with a backpack hurrying through the crowd to find his family, or when he sat behind you and held you close on the scariest ride that even Mingi refused to go on. It was sweet, nothing but sweet then. Yunho was charmed by your excitement and energy. He had heard Mingi mention you many times over the past year and felt grateful to have met you. He knew Mingi was protective, despite it not being a common way for Mingi to feel. You were his little sister, after all.

From then on you saw him here and there, always extremely happy to. You always wanted to see Yunho, whenever you could. As you grew so did Mingi and Yunho, until suddenly one day you looked at them and saw young men, saw the beginnings of facial hair begin to sneak onto their faces as they both surpassed six feet tall. You were still in middle school just barely hitting puberty, your height still under five feet and body still unchanged. The boys began pursuing their careers, auditioning for the same company. You couldn't have been more proud. And then your body began to change and suddenly you weren't a total kid anymore, either. Suddenly you were in high school and life became more serious, more in your hands. All of the sudden, you began developing sexual attraction and soon your thoughts surrounded only one person. Jeong Yunho.

Your friends had teased you for years about having a crush on him, because you always talked so excitedly about seeing him. You always brushed them off and insisted he was like another older brother. But your thoughts had begun to change and now you wondered if they had been right all along. Yunho had always been kind and caring towards you, always made you feel safe when you were watching a scary movie or if the three of you had stayed out past sunset. So did Mingi, so you never questioned it. You never questioned how often he held your hand or offered carry you home, and you certainly never questioned how warm and delighted these actions made you feel. Until now.

All of high school was torturous. No one else made you feel the way Yunho did, but still you knew it could never happen. You were so much younger than him, and he was now becoming and idol with your older brother. There were countless circumstances working against you, and you knew it. No matter how often you touched yourself at night thinking of him, you woke the next morning knowing it was only a fantasy. So you went through the motions of high school, graduating with decent grades and not ruffling any feathers. You missed your brother and Yunho dearly, so after college you were determined to live near them again.

After being accepted into university, Mingi and Yunho helped you move into an apartment in the same building as the boys. You began visiting them often, being one of the few people they were permitted to have over to the apartment regularly. School was fine and you had friends, but nothing compared to being able to spend time with your brother and his closest friend, as well as the other members of their group. You played games with them, ate with them, watched movies with them. You always found yourself sitting next to Yunho, eating Yunho's food, and poking fun at him. You didn't intend to, but you couldn't help your immense crush from growing and growing. You found yourself dressing up to go hang out at their dorm, despite it being down time. You swore you would find him staring at you sometimes and then he would blink away once your eyes met his.

Then, when you were nineteen, the boys moved into three separate apartments. Mingi lived with San and Seonghwa, and now Yunho lived only with Yeosang, the two of them living in a cozy two bedroom apartment. This new arrangement was when everything changed, when the world finally opened up. Finally, you had alone time with Yunho.

"Can I come see the new place?" you were on the phone with Yunho, just a day after everyone had moved. You just finished visiting Mingi; Yunho now lived in the same building but one floor up.

"But nothing is set up yet, Yeosang was busy today and I've barely had time to set up my own room. You're gonna think we're pathetic," Yunho replied.

"You know I don't care, Yunho. I just want to see it. I'll come see it again once it's all set up, I'm sure." At your last sentence, Yunho snorted slightly. Then cleared his throat. An awkward silence followed. "What?" you asked, rolling your eyes. Why was he being so weird?

"Nothing, sorry. Of course you can come see it. I'll unlock the front door, just let yourself in."

You opened the front door to their living room, still mostly covered in boxes and tools. "Hi!" you called out just as Yunho exited his room. Yunho smiled when he saw you, then looked down and saw your flimsy sandals and looked concerned.

"Be careful y/n, there are nails and screws on the ground in here. Here just... come to the kitchen. I should work on putting things away in there."

With a hand on your arm and a hand on your back he led you into their small kitchen, letting go to begin unpacking some bowls and plates and placing them into a cabinet above the counter. You jumped up so you were sitting on the counter, swinging your feet back and forth and glancing around.

"I like your new place, it's really cute," you said, sincerely. The apartment was small but not too small, a perfect dwelling for two people. The kitchen was new and nice, and the living room had a large window that led to a small balcony.

"Cute?" he repeated with a chuckle, looking down at you. Despite being sat up on the counter, Yunho was still taller than you. You had only managed to grow a few inches between middle school and sophomore year of college.

"Yes cute," you say, giving him a sarcastic smile. "Just like you," you tease, pinching one of his cheeks. He pinches both of your cheeks in retaliation and then pinches your bare waist, causing you to yelp slightly. You playfully punch him in the arm, instigating a full on play-fight. Before you know it you're slipping off the counter and awkwardly landing, about to collapse embarrassingly onto the floor. But Yunho catches you and places you back on the counter again, giving you a stern look.

"I have important unpacking to do y/n, you should really stop distracting me," he says, his sarcastic tone contradicting his serious expression.

"Oh shut up," you say, sticking your tongue out at him.

"You still act like such a child sometimes," he replies. You pout, whispering out an involuntary sorry. You never want to annoy him. "No no, it's cute," he says, "it's just hard to believe you're an adult now. Hard to believe you're in your second year of college." You look at him and he's stopped stacking plates, the look in his eye somewhat distant. "I've known you for so long, almost as long as Mingi. Sometimes I feel like you're one of the only people I can trust who isn't one of the members. I hope you know I'm very thankful for that."

You are struck by his sincerity. It is not something you are accustomed to from him. Usually he is joking around, usually he is trying to make everyone laugh. You stare into his eyes for a moment, feeling like something has shifted. But you can't tell what. You want to reach out and hug him. You want to do more than hug him, you realize. You stare out of the living room window in silence, not realizing how much time has passed.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, sorry. You just never talk like that, I didn't know how to respond..." you look at him again but now he won't meet your eyes.

"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable," he says, now busying himself again with stacking up the plates. You can feel the slight tension now, can see it in his shoulders and neck.

"No no, not at all. Yunho.." you scoot yourself slightly down the counter so you are right in from of him, and without thinking reach your arms out to hug him, snaking them around his waist. He reaches around your shoulders and pulls your head to his chest, resting his head on top of yours. "Sorry, I just didn't know what to say. I'm glad you feel that way. You mean so much to me, you know. You're so respectful and kind and..." you trail off, your voice slightly muffled by his torso. Above you Yunho is smiling, his eyes closed and the tension from his shoulders evaporating. His feelings for you had been slowly developing in the last year or so, but he always felt so awkward with Mingi and the other boys around. He has complicated feelings about your age. He feels guilty, but a little hug never hurt anyone, right? He kisses the top of your head and begins rubbing your bare low back, melting into your softness. He had been unpacking and setting up his room all day after moving heavy boxes and furniture in the morning. The fatigue is starting to get to him.

"I'm exhausted, you want to watch a movie or something? I got my little TV set up in my room," he asks.

"We should make some food, too," you say. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," he retorts. So you punch him again. "And always violent too," he adds, laughing. So you shove him out of the way and grab some veggies from the fridge to make with some rice. "You always want to eat so healthy," Yunho jokes, rolling his eyes.

"Guess I'll just make enough for one then," you say, which earns you another pinch on your waist. This time you're armed with a spatula, so when he laughs at your squeal you go to threaten him with it. But he catches your arm before you can make contact, holding your forearm high above your head. Suddenly that tension is back, and you feel his body move towards you, the warmth in the air increasing every so slightly. You stare up at him, and then down, and you swear it's by accident but you find yourself staring right at his crotch. His slightly bulging crotch, you're fairly certain. But you're only staring for a moment before you realize and look back up, embarrassment making your cheeks go slightly pink. You feel your whole body flush, not just your cheeks. You feel heat run down your spine right to your core. You realize you want him holding you in this position, but in another context. This realization makes your cheeks redden even further. You feel your body tense and tingle, and suddenly it's too much, and he's just staring at you as if nothing at all is happening. You finally shove him away, the three seconds that elapsed feeling like an eternity.

"Go put something on, I'll have food ready in a sec," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. Everything that is happening today is unexpected, and you feel slightly dazed and very turned on. You did not think Yeosang wouldn't be home; you did not think you'd be getting alone time with Yunho.

After finishing your food the two of you settle into Yunho's bed, watching the Marvel movie he decided to put on. You don't entirely understand what is happening but he explains some things, and overall you are more focused on the fact that you are lying in his bed with his arms around you. He beckoned you to him as soon as you climbed in and of course you obliged. He began stroking your hair with one hand, holding you close to him with his other arm. You had cuddled up to him many times when the members all lived together, when it was dark in the room and everyone was watching a movie late at night. Realistically, this wasn't all that different. But this time, before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.

"Y/n," Yunho whispers into your ear, causing your awareness to suddenly return to you. You squint around, seeing the credits rolling on his little TV. You groan, the excitement of the day having zapped your energy, your head aching slightly. You yawn, deeply. You close your eyes again, snuggling your head into Yunho's chest and groaning again.

"I'm sleepy.." you slur out, squeezing your eyes shut and your eyebrows together.

"I know sweetie," Yunho speaks quietly so as not to disturb you, rubbing his hand on your back again to comfort you. "Just sleep here tonight. I have to get up early anyway, so you won't be late for college or anything. You just need to go brush your teeth, just use one of my extra toothbrushes." You groan again at this suggestion, which makes him laugh. "Come on," he says while hoisting you up, leading you on wobbly legs to his personal bathroom. He sits you up on his counter, pulling out an extra toothbrush for you and putting toothpaste on. You look at him through hooded eyes, your exhaustion still not escaping you. "You want me to actually brush them for you too?" he asks. You stick your tongue out at him again, your tired state bringing out the childishness ten fold. "Open up," he commands, and you obey. And he tries to brush your teeth for you, but finally your adult brain has somewhat caught up and your hand reaches up to finish the job yourself. "There you go," he says, and you bump into him to finally spit into the sink. After washing your face you stare up at him.

"I need lip balm," you pout. Yunho can't help but think you're the cutest person he's ever known. That pout does things to him, and he's beginning to wonder if you know. He pulls out his lip balm and begins rubbing it across your lips, running his thumb along your bottom lip. Your mouth involuntarily begins to open and Yunho feels himself getting hard again. He'd been trying to keep it at bay all afternoon and evening, but he's continually failed. He only hopes that you haven't noticed, in case it would freak you out.

Finally you are both ready for bed and Yunho leads you into his bed before joining you, coming to lay behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. He cannot believe this is happening; the timing was all too perfect. With Yeosang out for the day the two of you finally have time to yourselves, without having to tell anyone. He feels guilt start to warm his neck, but again pushes it aside. You're tired and in need of sleep, and all you're doing is cuddling, right? You've done this plenty of times before, and Mingi had no issue.

You begin to squirm, wanting to face him, wanting to see his beautiful face up close in the soft light of the night. You feel exhausted but there's something within you keeping you awake, not allowing you to miss such a rare opportunity. 'What's wrong?' Yunho whispers as you turn yourself around, but then he realizes you just wanted to be facing him. His breath hitches at the sight of your face only inches away from his. You reach up, gently brushing your fingers over his cheeks and jaw, then running one along his eyebrow and staring deeply into his eyes. You yawn, your body's exhaustion now fighting with your brain. But you remain awake, mesmerized by his beautiful face, his cheeks, his dark brown hair sweeping over his forehead.

"Yunho, what do you think of me?" you ask, pulling yourself closer to him still, your hand now latched onto his upper arm. He's come to rest his hand on your waist.

"What do you mean? I think the world of you, you know that. I'm very proud of how well you're doing at school. And you're very supportive of Mingi, which he needs. He's sensitive, and you don't make him feel bad for that. You're a very strong person, very understanding. Very good.." he trails off slightly, smiling at you in the dim light.

"No no, I mean, do you think of me like a younger sister? Like, how do you see me?" you're blushing from his kind words but you're tired and need to know the answer. It is all you've been thinking about all day.

"Well, no. Not anymore-" he starts.

"So you used to?" you ask, attempting to keep your voice from wobbling with worry.

"Yeah, when you were little. You were so little when I first met you, obviously I thought of you that way. But now you're grown up. You're very different now," he finishes. You take in a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. It was your biggest worry, that his kindness and teasing and protectiveness only came from him seeing you as a younger sibling. You sometimes worried he felt obliged to be nice because you were his best friend's younger sister. But something deep within you knew he felt more comfortable with you than almost anyone. You just didn't want to say it aloud, didn't want to admit it to anyone, even yourself. You didn't know what it would mean, or if it would mean anything. You worried it would upset Mingi, even upset the other members. You didn't know what your friends would think. All of these worries sat in the back of your mind simmering away, never dominating your thoughts but never fully disappearing. But the isolation of the night finally allowed you the chance to ask. And though his answer was vague, it was better than nothing. You were sure he thought of you as more than just a little sibling, and were pretty sure he liked you too. Again, you just didn't know what that would mean.

"I've never thought of you as a brother," you say, which earns a slightly surprised look from Yunho. The time and darkness makes you bolder than usual. "You're too attractive for me to think of you that way," you giggle from embarrassment, turning your gaze down so he can't meet your eyes. You expect him to laugh too, expect him to tease you for saying that. You expect him to tell you you're clearly exhausted and need to just go to sleep. But Yunho does none of these things. He swallows, and moves his hand from your waist to your cheek, gently stroking down to your jaw and moving your head up so you meet his gaze. Your eyes are large and full of surprise as they meet his.

And then his lips are on yours, soft and gentle and perfect. You feel his breath brush over your cheek as he opens his mouth, his tongue grazing your bottom lip and causing deep and rapid breaths to fall from your opening lips. The kiss deepens and he moves closer to you, your legs now intertwining, your hands moving up underneath his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. It is not something you've done before yet the entire thing feels perfectly natural, as if you've known your whole life how to move your lips and tongue in sync with his. The feeling of his strong lean body makes your head feel fuzzy, and his large hand on your chin and neck make you feel suddenly small. It's unlike anything you've felt before and you realize you really like this feeling. The kiss has deepened further, and now Yunho is pulling back to suck and nip at your bottom lip, just the way he'd been thinking about all day. It sends sparks of pleasure down your spine and makes you involuntarily buck your hips against his leg that is resting in between yours. And then he's moving his hand down from your face to your hip, and sliding into your sweats, and finally into your panties to grab onto your ass and guide you to keep rubbing yourself against his thigh. You're desperately grabbing onto him and kissing him now, your need growing relentlessly.

Yunho wants to rip your clothes off, his mind entirely leaving him in the first moments of your kiss, but suddenly his brain is messing with him, reminding him of everything else. Your age, your relation to his best friend, and as far as he knew, your inexperience. It pulls at him, while simultaneously his body pulls him the opposite direction, towards you, towards your lips wet from his tongue, towards the warmth emanating from between your legs where you slowly are coming undone. He runs his hand all over you now, feeling the warmth of your skin now, feeling your hard nipples through your thin top. Of course, you had no bra on. It seemed to him that every time he'd seen you recently you hadn't been wearing one. He's pulled away so he can watch you face and hear your moans more clearly, and now he can watch you rub yourself on his leg, too. He's so hard at this point, it's becoming almost painful. He's never felt so turned on at seeing someone else's pleasure. You've never done something quite like this, never pleasured yourself without even taking off your pants, but Yunho's touches and kisses make you feel electric, like he's turned on a switch in your nervous system that's never been touched before. The small movements of your hips bring immense pleasure to your clit, and finally as you get closer and closer, a fogginess to your head. As if he can tell you're almost there, Yunho leans down to kiss your neck, one of your most tender areas. You feel a wave building in the depth of your stomach, a strong surge of electricity about to wash over you. And then you are nearly screaming, your moans high pitched and probably penetrating the walls of the apartment, and you suddenly feel warmth all over, a tingling in your fingers and toes. You've never come so hard in your life, or for so long. Your breathing is ragged and hard and you grab onto Yunho for dear life, riding out the feeling as long as you could. His hands are around you now, pulling you two closer still, planting kisses on your neck and cheeks and lips. You're completed slumped against him now, your muscles spent and loose.

"I came," you whisper, followed by a short giggle.

"I know," he says, also followed by laughter.

"How?" you ask. But you know you are silly for asking.

"It wasn't hard to tell, baby," he chuckles. His voice sounds distant, like his thoughts are coming at full speed again. He tucks your head against his shoulder and holds you tight. Contemplating for a moment. He's conflicted, but he knows what he should do. "Sleep now, you're exhausted. I'll set my alarm so you don't need to worry."

He wants to do more with you, to give you more. He wants to see the look of immense pleasure on your face again. He wants to undress you, to taste you, to feel your hot, wet pussy as you come again and again. He wants to be buried inside you, to be buried in your mouth. A thousand lewd images flash across his mind making him even harder. But he recoils from the images too, again feeling the sting of guilt. One time thing, he tells himself. It has to be. But he knows it won't be. He can tell by the way you cling to him, by the way you came so hard. He doubts anyone has even made you feel that good. He doesn't understand how, given that you didn't even take your pants off. But he doesn't question how much you loved it. That he knows without a doubt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You slept like a rock, and after a few challenging minutes, so did Yunho. You both woke to the sound of his alarm, groaning simultaneously and trying to stretch. You were still tangled together, your stretching arm nearly hitting him in the face. You giggled at his exaggerated look of shock. He finally untangled himself from you and went to use the bathroom, careful to not let you see the small tent still present in his pants. Was I really hard all night, he thinks, with amusement. When he's finished peeing and brushing his teeth he comes out again to find you still in bed, your head defiantly shoved in the pillow, dramatic sighs escaping your lips.

"Y/n, don't you have to leave for your first class in like an hour?" he says. You make a loud and defiant sound in response. He sighs, and drags off the blankets, picking you up and setting you in his bathroom again. "You are not going to be late to school after spending the night with me. Everyone would kill me. Now pee, I can't do that for you." Seeing your pout again, his stomach flips. "I know I'm sorry. I would if I could." He rubs your back comfortingly as you walk towards the toilet, and then he's out and closing the door and making you both breakfast.

In the bathroom you begin to wake up fully, feeling refreshed and happy. Memories of last night wash over you like gentle waves, lulling you into a state of pleasure and contentment. You still feel sensitive. You feel it all over, but especially between your legs. You saunter out to the kitchen, eyes dragging over Yunho's bare upper body. He is ladling soup into two bowls, so you run your hand down his back gently so as not to disturb him and make him spill. You don't see it, but his face betrays the way your touch makes him feel, the gentle touch sending sparks down his body.

But suddenly he is tense and moving, putting food down in front of you and saying, "eat." He runs to his room and returns wearing an oversized hoodie. You stare at him in silence as you eat, a notable strangeness present in the air. But you can't figure out what. He stares down at your legs, still bare. All you have on are your top and underwear. It seems like he wants to say something, but no words come out. You both finish your food in silence, and you begin cleaning up your bowls. And then you hear Yeosang's door open.

His room is closer to the kitchen, and within seconds he's standing like a deer in headlights, staring at you. Then, quicker then he came, he's running back to his room, apologizing repeatedly. "Sorry, sorry! I didn't know you'd be here!" he says as he darts down the hall, his near nakedness also making him embarrassed. Suddenly you feel very awkward, and dumb. You quickly finish the dishes and dash to Yunho's room, yelling, "I'm sorry, Yeosang!" as you pass his room. It's nearly time to leave anyway so you put on your pants and make sure your hair doesn't look crazy. You need to stop home before heading to class to change your clothes and grab your books. And you need to get out of this apartment as soon as possible. A creeping feeling runs up your back to your neck, a feeling you later realize was shame. You stand completely still, waiting for Yunho to finish using the bathroom, feeling frozen and about to crack.

Yunho steps out, dressed in a black suit with a white button up, his hair still slightly messy but styled just right. He quickly sits down to put on his shoes and you are mesmerized, unable to take your eyes off him. It was always Yunho in a suit that made your heart pound, more than almost anything else. He adjusts his laces and you watch his hands work, his long strong fingers adjusting the knot. You love his hands, always have. Always felt safe in them. Now as you stare, you can't help but remember last night when his hand grazed over your hard nipple, or when he grabbed your butt and pushed you down harder onto his thigh. His hands are perfect, long and lean like him. They have a quality you just can't name. God I'm weird, you think. A suit kink and a hand kink. But you know it's just him, it's just the way that he makes everything so-

"You okay?" his question snaps you out of it, and you look at his slightly concerned face staring at you.

"Yeah," you huff out, not really sure if you are. You want to talk about what happened last night, because things feel weird now. You have a feeling it's more than just the awkwardness with Yeosang, but you can't be sure. You don't know if you have time but-

"You've got to leave, you're gonna be late," Yunho's words pull you from your thoughts again, and you nod.

"You're being weird," you slap his arm, not sure how much to say. But his playful look seems to indicate you're fine.

"Weird? Me?" he jokes with you, turning you around and walking you out the door. You make it to the front door and he opens it, guiding you through. He brushes a hand through your hair and says, "have a good day." You want to kiss him, but he seems so distant.

"You too," you mumble through a slight pout, turning and walking yourself the several blocks to your apartment building.

The whole day was hazy, spent between flashes of the pleasure of last night and flashes of the awkwardness of the morning. What happened? you thought over and over, not sure if you were asking about the night or the morning. It seemed like Yunho didn't want Yeosang to know, and that you could understand. You worried about the other boy's reactions, too. But he was being weird with you in the privacy of his room too. Not mean or cold but just... weird. You can't pinpoint the feeling, and it's starting to drive you crazy.

You give yourself a day, too busy with classes and tutoring to give it much real thought anyway. But the next day, you are over waiting. On your way home from your last class you call him.

"Y/n!" he answers in a playful tone, like he usually does. Like nothing at all has happened.

"Yunho, we need to talk," you say, heart pounding slightly. "Are you busy?"

"Not at all, I just got home," he says, then pauses. "Are you okay?" his words are kind as always but his voice is laced with trepidation. It makes you feel nervous, because he's always the one who knows what to do. You like to follow his lead on things; he never sounds unsure.

"Yunho.." you say in an annoyed tone. You want him to read your mind, but you know you shouldn't expect that. You take a quick calming breath, steadying yourself. "Yes, I'm okay. But we haven't talked in almost two days and something sort of, important happened."

"My schedule has been very busy these two days, I hope you know I wasn't ignoring you," he sounds like he's carefully choosing his words, not wanting to take a wrong step. "Was there something in particular you wanted to say?"

You take a moment to steady yourself. You're walking up the stairs to your apartment now, slightly out of breath. But you want to get it out before you reach the front door.

"Were you upset or something, the next morning? You just seemed weird," you say, managing to keep your breathing steady.

"Of course not, not at all. I just-" he cuts himself off. Again, thinking through what to say next. "We really should talk in person, if we're going to talk about this."

"Is Yeosang home?" you ask.

"Yeah, he is."

"Come to mine, then."

"Your roommates won't mind?"

"No, we're all cool with having one or two people over unannounced. Unless you are planning on being very loud, it shouldn't be a problem."

"You trust me to be a well behaved guest?" he teases.

"Yunho..." you've entered your house now, smiling at your roommate who is finishing work at your small dining table.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. That okay?"

"Yes, see you soon," you reply, a sigh leaving your lips as you end the call.

"What was that?" your roommate Tae asks you.

"Oh, Yunho's coming over," you say, which earns an oooooh from him. "It's not like that, we're just gonna talk. It sounds like he doesn't want anything else to happen, but I can't tell. I don't know..."

You moved in with your roommates Tae and Nari at the start of your second year of college, having finally met a few people at your school that you really connected with. Tae was small and delicate, a pretty boy amongst pretty boys in your school. Nari was tall and broad, with stunning short black hair and impressive shoulders. She intimidated you, the first time you met. As was your luck, the two of them were both seniors already. But thankfully they both got accepted into graduate school as well, and the three of you got to live out your college-roommate dreams. You had told them both what happened with Yunho the next day over dinner, both of them rapt and gasping dramatically at your story. You three were all quite busy, juggling school and work. Excitement like this didn't come often to the small three bedroom apartment you resided in. You liked it that way, mostly. But still, the excitement was fun.

"If he doesn't, he's crazy," Tae reassures you, sitting up from the table to come give you a hug. "We're here if you need."

You love the way you feel respected by the two of them, never prying into your life but also always making it known that they're there. They treated you like an equal, that was what you loved. They were a few years older but didn't always treat you like the baby. Not that you minded being treated like the baby, sometimes. But they respected all of you, respected that you could love childish things but also be incredibly responsible. They saw you for who you were, entirely. It was something you hadn't experienced many times in life with other people, and it had begun to shift your world view. You trusted yourself more, believed in your understanding of things. They gave you confidence, the way they treated you proving their words to be true. It was a truly special thing, knowing them.

As you walk down the hall to drop your books in your room, Nari greets you with a big hug too. "I heard," she says into your hair, "and I agree with Tae. How anyone could pass on you is beyond me." Her kindness was never-ending, despite her strong appearance. You patted her head as you walked past, thanking her.

Soon a knock came at the door and Tae answered it, welcoming Yunho in. Nari and Tae invite him in kindly, hope and anticipation present in their voices. They offered Yunho some tea, but he declined. He wanted to see you, wanted to get this talk over with. It wasn't that he'd been avoiding it, he had genuinely been busy. But he didn't want to wait any longer.

As Tae got back to his work Nari walked past you to her room, followed by Yunho. 'Keep it down tonight, our apartment is small,' she whispered teasingly, hoping to lift your spirits. It did, and you give her a joking glare. Yunho smiles at the interaction, having not heard her. But he can tell you like her, that you feel comfortable here. He's only been a few times, and only met each roommate twice. He likes them, likes that you like them most importantly.

You lead him to your room, your book bag slumped against your desk, your double bed taking up nearly half of your small room. You loved your room, loved the books and legos and plushies that covered your shelves, your colorful wardrobe full of old clothes Mingi had given you and all your favorite shirts you still had from high school. It was cozy, small. And Yunho had never been in. Very few people had, it wasn't something you allowed very often. Today you decided you'd make that exception.

You sit on the floor with your back against your bed and Yunho joins you, his long legs stretching far beyond yours. He looks at you but you can't meet his gaze, the feeling of rejection already creeping up to your throat.

"What were you going to say?" you ask.

"Can I ask how you are? You seem upset," he starts.

"I'm fine. I just know what you're gonna say. You don't want that to happen again, do you? You still do think of me as immature, don't you?" you aren't hysterical, just slightly edgy. You try hard but can't keep the slightest bit of tension from your voice.

"Y/n, I-" Yunho cuts himself off with a sigh. "No, I do not think you're immature. But do you really think it's a good idea? What would Mingi think? It's not like he ever said, 'you can't pursue my sister,' but I really doubt he'd be totally fine with it. And the other members? I lied to Yeosang, told him you slept over because you were helping me unpack until late. But I doubt he believed me. He said, 'it's fine, it's fine. Just tell me when she's over so I don't embarrass myself.' But you know Yeosang, too kind for his own good. He knows, it was obvious. I don't think he'd tell Mingi. I just..." he trails off. Sighs again. "You're nineteen." He says this part with emphasis.

You sit contemplating what he's said, a swirl of feelings running through your chest and stomach. Sure, your brother might not approve. Sure, you're nineteen. Sure-

"Do you remember when I said you're one of the only people I trust who isn't one of the members? I can't lose that." Yunho speaks firmly, like he's trying to convince you both of something.

"You won't, you won't ever lose that. I mean it. No matter what happens, Yunho. I'm not going to resent you, for anything. I know you, you won't hurt me. You take care of me, look out for me better than almost anyone. It would never come to that," you reply.

Yunho sighs, his hand coming to rest on your lower back, his body unable to keep from touching you in some way. He can tell you're tense and wants to alleviate it. It's all he ever wants when he's around you, to hold you and tease you and make you forget all the stress of normal life.

"I worry, though. I worry I'll upset you, that something will go wrong."

You sit thinking, releasing a long slow breath through your nose, closing your eyes and focusing on your feelings. "Who cares what anyone thinks? This is something between us, not them. So what does it really matter? Honestly, Mingi will probably just feel jealous at how close I am to you more than anything. And I personally don't care what anyone else thinks. I know you're closer to the members than me and have to live with one, but why should we have to do what they say? It's our lives. We are all adults, everyone can deal with their feelings if they have them."

"But I'm so much older than you, remember that girl from your freshman class. Wasn't that older guy pursuing her, and you told me how you thought it was creepy and-"

"You mean that girl that our professor was pursuing? He had a reputation of doing this, of every year dating a different freshman girl. He had done it since being a graduate student apparently, and had continued when he became a professor. That's way different than our situation. You aren't my boss or my professor or something."

"Fine, you're right. But I bet your friends will think I'm creepy," Yunho sighs.

"I can guarantee you that's not true," you respond, now looking him in the eye.

"How?"

"I already told them. And they definitely didn't think that. They though it was cute."

Yunho's lips break into a faint smile, the first smile you've seen all night. He runs a hand through your hair; he loves how soft and long it is. His insides are churning, his brain unable to come to a decision. You can sense the uncertainty. You want to make him feel relaxed too. So you scoot over and climb on top of him to hug him, tucking your face into his neck. You sigh, a sleepy haze falling over you. You stay like that for a while, Yunho's arms around you holding you tight. He plants a kiss on your temple, melting at the way the kiss makes you smile.

"I'll need to think about it. The last thing I want is to cause you pain," he finally concludes. You sit up, attempting to keep the disappointment from your face. You don't want to force anything on him. But you can tell it's other people's judgement that's holding him back, not his own feelings. Face to face with him, you stare across his beautiful cheeks and lips, not until now noticing he still had makeup on from whatever he filmed today. You reach up and touch a gem under his eye and he smiles at your curious look, like you've discovered something remarkable.

"I should go, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" he asks. You nod, climbing off of him so he can get up. Once standing he gives you a hug, wishing to reassure every cell in your body. But he still doesn't know what he's going to do. You lead him out and you roommates say their goodbyes, and finally he's out the door and the door is closing, and you stand staring at it for a second, not sure how to respond.

"So?" Tae asks, still sat at the table. Nari is now at the stove tending to a large pot.

"I don't know, I don't know.." you mumble into your hands, covering your face.

"Come here, have some ramen," Nari says, setting a steaming bowl on the kitchen counter next to you. You dive in, patting your head on her shoulder in thanks. The three of you sit at the small table now, all aggressively slurping the delicious ramen Nari made.

"That boy needs to figure it out," Nari says, making you nearly snort out the broth you are swallowing.

"That boy?" you say, raising your eyebrows and giggling.

"Yes that boy, he's being silly. I don't like that he's messing with your feelings."

"It's not so bad," you say. "I understand his worry. My brother, he can be quite jealous sometimes. He's sensitive. Neither of us want to hurt him."

"It's your life," Tae chimes in.

"I know, that's how I feel too," you say.

"Let's watch a movie tonight, none of us have to be to campus until ten tomorrow, right?" Nari says. You both nod in agreement, finishing the last of your food. You get up to start cleaning but Tae beats you to it. "It's my turn, I haven't in a few days," he says, so you give him your signature pout and thank him and walk to your room. You finally change into your pjs, your favorite sweats and cropped loose shirt combo that you wear a little too much. You sigh and look at yourself in you mirror, wondering how old you really look. You're short but not skinny, you definitely don't look childish in your body. Since puberty a small roll of fat sits on your lower stomach, above thick thighs and a pronounced butt. You always felt like your lower body didn't match your upper body, which had remained almost as small as when you were a child. Apart from your boobs, of course. They were sizable too, now that you really looked at them. Since when did I become so womanly? you think to yourself. It must have been while you were focused on school and work, focused on getting Mingi through his challenging years right after debut. You keep staring, your vision feeling almost warped. You didn't spend a lot of time thinking if people found you attractive, you realized. And that was a strange thing for a young woman. It had only ever been Yunho you thought of. But it never felt like a question to you, whether he thought you were attractive. Why hadn't you questioned it? Your thoughts start spinning and you stare at a body in front of you, warping more as your legs get even bigger and your shoulders even smaller. You think of how tall he is, of how mismatched the two of you probably look next to each other.

You snap yourself out of it, knowing there was no point to the thought spiral you were headed toward. You walk out to the kitchen as Tae is finishing the last of the dishes and Nari is turning on the TV, just in time to hear the knock on the door. The three of you look up in sync, a similar look of confusion on your faces. No one ever really knocked on your door here, your neighbors just texted. You slowly walk to the door, opening it in utter confusion.

Standing on the landing is Yunho, now barefaced, in his own favorite sweats and t-shirt. He is out of breath, a light breeze blowing his hair off his forehead, revealing the lines between his eyebrows made from concern. He stares at you, catching his breath. The moment stretches, the look of utter surprise never leaving your face.

"Can I come in?" he finally asks.

"Of course," you say, stepping aside to let him through the doorway. You close it gently behind you. Yunho and your roommates awkwardly greet each other again and you give them both wide-eyed looks, totally unsure of where this is headed. They give each other a knowing look as you and Yunho leave the room, headed straight for your bedroom. You close the door behind yourself, leaning against the back of it. Yunho stands in front of you, his eyes meeting yours with intensity.

"Why- what did-" you stumble over your words, making both of you laugh. "Why did you come back?" you finally manage.

Yunho opens his mouth as if you talk but nothing comes out. Instead he takes a step forward, closing the distance between you, and his lips are on yours again, his hand on your jaw. This time it isn't so gentle, so delicate. This time it's hot and intense in an instant, your legs feeling like they might give out. You reach out and pull him close to you, opening your mouth to let him in. Wherever he wants to go, you will let him. His tongue brushes over yours, his body moving closer and nearly crushing you into your door. A soft moan escapes your throat, the feeling of his tongue on yours making your pussy throb. The kiss makes your body feels so intense, it's as if he's licking you everywhere.

Eventually he pulls away, his hand still on the side of your face, his lips wet and slightly swollen. "I went to go home and think about things, but I just kept thinking of kissing you," he says. "I can't stop thinking about the other night. You've messed me up."

You smile and turn your head down in shyness, his words causing pride to swell in your chest. Maybe this is affecting him as much as it's affecting me, you think. Maybe he really does feel the same. You look up and reach to touch his face too, leaning up to kiss him again.

Before you know it you're swept up into his arms, Yunho spinning you to move closer to your bed. Your eyes are closed and your lips still on his; you feel momentarily like gravity doesn't exist, like you are flying. He sets you down gently, your head coming to rest on your large stuffed bear that never leaves your bed. He's almost crushing you again, this time into your mattress, his mouth ravishing every part of you he can. You feel his leg between yours, the deep pressure relieving some of the intense need you are feeling. His mouth on your neck, on your ear sends intense sparks down your entire body, a gentle moan leaving your lips as he sucks hard on your neck, not worrying about the potential physical consequences of his actions. His hands are under your shirt know, his fingers gentle brushing over your already hard nipple. He lifts your shirt, momentarily in awe of what he is seeing, and then dips his head down to suck gently on your left breast. A low moan escapes him now, as he relishes the feeling of your hard nipple in his mouth, again feeling the intense warmth emanating from between your legs. He cannot believe you have granted him this access, cannot believe he can make you feel so good. He's inexperienced too, given what he does for work. But the connection between you is palpable, so strong that no practice is needed. It all comes so easily, the communication, the affection, the way he can read your body and face and sounds so easily. It fills him with warmth, the feeling of being so connected to you. He wants more and more, wishes it were never-ending.

But he feels he must be careful. As he continues sucking on your nipples, continues running his hands everywhere he can, he feels your desperation as you move your hips against his. He lifts his up and down just slightly, the movement making you moan again in utter bliss. You imagine how good it would feel for his hips to snap against yours without layers of clothes between. Being this intimate with someone always made you nervous, but with him it simply was a need. You move your hips again, hoping it'll make him continue to move his, and it does, illiciting moans from you both. You reach under his shirt and start pulling it off, needing to feel more of him, and he finally pulls yours over your head too. And then his mouth is on yours again, his hips and his tongue moving as if connected, the slow drags of his tongue on yours making you feel almost light headed.

"Yunho..." you moan between kisses, needing him to focus his attentions elsewhere. You're beginning to feel terribly empty and jittery with anticipation. And he can tell, he really feels like he can read your mind. He moves back, just enough to begin pulling off your sweatpants and panties, slowly and deliberately to make sure he's doing the right thing. You lift your hips to help him, fighting the urge to turn your head. You don't exactly feel embarrassed, but you're so exposed now. Naked in front of him for the first time the questions finally surface. Does he like my body? What does he think of the fat on my stomach? He can see your thoughts racing behind your eyes, the way your jaw sets slightly when you're concentrated. He leans down to kiss you again, hoping to reassure any doubts.

"Can I touch you?" He says it with such warmth, such care. You feel your body turn to putty.

"Please," you say, only a whisper. You can't help the small line that forms between your eyebrows from your begging, or the slight pout that forms on your lips. That pout. Yungo can't stand it much longer. He reaches down to your thighs, spreading your legs gently. He sees how wet and pink your pussy looks, feels how soft and plush your thighs are. God, I just want to ruin her, he thinks. And then scolds himself. Since when did he get this way?

Finally his long fingers are moving up your thighs to the apex, to the place you need him. He brushes his fingers over the small patch of hair that sits there. And then finally his thumb dips into your folds, feeling the slick wetness in its entirety. He moves his finger down slowly and then back up, finally brushing over your extremely sensitive clit. You can't help but moan, loudly. Your legs open, body completely bare; you feel totally at his mercy. He begins to rub gentle circles over your clit, the feeling electric and warm. He can feel it too, can see the way your pussy clenches when he hits just the right spot. He spends a moment just watching, completely entranced by the beautiful site of you spread open for him. He now takes his other hand to your entrance, lightly pressing with two fingers to gauge your response.

"Fuck, Yunho, please," you say as you push yourself down onto his two fingers, your pleading words rocketing through him. He sinks his fingers into you, relishing the warmth of your tight pussy. He can tell two fingers is a lot for you, so he works them in and out slowly, helping you get used to the feeling. He curls them up just right, finding that spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back and your back arch. You've never felt such pleasure before, the stimulation in both spots making you feel entirely singular to this moment. You can feel a wave building again, this time intensely and quickly. Before you know it you're grabbing a pillow and covering your face, attempting to stifle the loud moans escaping you. You cannot help it, the feeling of his fingers inside you making you come undone so suddenly, shuddering and screaming as you fall over the edge. Yunho watches you clench down around his fingers, clenching so hard as you come that he can barely move them anymore. Eventually his finger on your clit feels far too overstimulating so you grab it to make him stop, removing your pillow to allow yourself room to breathe. He sits there for a moment, fingers still inside of you, unable to stop himself from looking you up and down over and over again. After a few exhausting breaths you open your eyes and look at him, seeing how how worked up he is, his flushed skin and his rapid breaths, his pupils blown far larger than you've ever seen. He pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to cause you even a moment of discomfort. And then he's slumped down next to you, kissing you sweetly and holding you, helping you onto your side so he can spoon you and hold you tight.

"You take it so well," he says, his voice still laced with lust. The depth of it sends sparks through you; his kisses on your neck and cheek are soft but possessive. You feel it then, for the first time, how much he wants you to be his, how deeply he's attached to you. It's like a warm, gentle wave has washed over you and now you're drifting out to sea. A feeling of floating, of being devoid of worry. You feel as light as ever despite the exhaustion your intense orgasm has left you with. But you can feel how hard he is against your ass, and feel like you should please him too. You turn yourself over to face him, kissing him and moving your hands down, grazing over his bare abdomen and then over his sweats until you find him hard and straining. But as you do his hand comes down to grab yours, and he's moving it away.

"Sweetie, you need to get some sleep. I can tell how exhausted you are." You whine, earning a chuckle from him. But you aren't going to push anything. You like being pleasured, that's for sure. And now that the aftershocks have subsided, you are left in a blissful and sleepy state.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake with a bit of a start, not having slept so deeply in a long time. Yunho is next to you, your blankets pulled up over your naked body. You see now that he is naked too, having thrown all of his clothes on the floor of your room. You wriggle towards him to cuddle, waking him up in the process. He yawns loudly, running his hand through his now messy hair. He sleepily grabs onto you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

Your bladder beckons you to the bathroom so you climb over him as carefully as you can. You aren't really thinking much, the grogginess of the morning still weighing heavily on your eyelids. As you are washing your hands you finally take a good look at yourself, suddenly noticing a dark spot on the side of your neck that looks out of place. It takes a few moments for you to register but then you realize what it is, and run a hand gently over the bruise left by Yunho. You snort, feeling ridiculously happy to have physical evidence of the previous night.

You exit your bathroom to find Yunho nearly fully dressed, pulling his shirt over his head and grabbing his keys and wallet from your bedside table. His energy feels tense again, even with his back to you. It's impossible for you to not feel it. You stand awkwardly at the doorway, simply observing. Finally you walk over to put your clothes back on too, not wanting to sit in the uncomfortable tension you've walked into. You have to pull off your blanket to find your shirt, which had somehow found itself near the foot of your bed. All this movement in total silence has you again confused, but this time your confusion is laced with anger as well, anger that if Yunho didn't want this to happen again he really shouldn't have come back. Now you do feel like he's messing with you, a bit. It's only happened twice, but you know he already knows how he feels. He just isn't being totally honest with himself.

"Do you want any coffee or breakfast?" you ask, wanting to be a pleasant host despite your frustration.

"No no, I really should get going. Thank you though," he says, now finally looking at you. His eyes are slightly puffy and his hair is a mess, and you can't help but admire how adorable he looks first thing in the morning. You stare for a second, your expression unchanging as you try to keep all of the conflicting feelings inside you at bay.

"Fuck, did I actually leave a bruise? I didn't think I was being that rough..." Yunho walks towards you and pushes your hair out of the way to get a good look at the mark he left on your neck. "Fuck, I can go get some makeup to cover it up, if you'd like. I've watched our makeup artists do it a lot." You brush his hand away, this time unable to keep the irritation from your expression.

"Yunho, it's fine. I can put makeup on it myself if I need to. Or wear a scarf or a shirt that covers it or really... I don't care. I don't mind it, actually. Can you please just go? You obviously don't want to be here." Yunho's face looks immediately concerned; his hands hang awkwardly at his side like he doesn't know what to do with them.

"You like that bruise on your neck?" he asks.

"I don't mind it," you retort, not even looking at him. The frustration you feel is threatening to spill out in tears, and you don't feel like crying right now. You realize in a split second that this is all so silly, that so little has happened. You don't want to be childish.

"Yunho, I'm upset because both mornings after we've spent the night together, you seem obviously tense and uncomfortable and it seems like you regret what has happened between us. If you don't want this, I wish you would just tell me. I'm not going to be severely hurt, I will be fine. It seems like you like me, but maybe it's just convenience? I know you don't have many opportunities to date or hookup with someone who you know won't go and tell the world about it. But if it doesn't feel right, just tell me. I feel like you're messing with me."

"I-" Yunho stops himself short. He wants to choose his words well, wants you to understand completely. "Of course I like you, y/n. It's not just convenience, god no. I wish I could spend every night with you..." he stroked his hand frustratedly through his hair, making it appear even messier. "It's Mingi, I keep thinking about Mingi. Don't you? I haven't talked to him about it yet and it's eating at me. I have to talk to him before anything else happens. I feel like we're betraying him by not telling-"

"I really don't think he'll be that upset," you say, to keep both of your fears at bay. You really don't know how he'll react. And you haven't spent one on one time with him in a little while. You text every day to check in, of course. But it had been a few weeks. You sigh intensely, tears welling in your eyes. You wish desperately that you didn't have classes today.

"How can you be sure?" he asks, wondering if you know something he doesn't. "Have you talked to him?"

You just shake your head, one of the welling tears now falling down your cheek. You wipe it gently, not wanting to make a scene.

"We both need to talk to him," Yunho says, stepping forward to hug you tightly, feeling torn up inside that he's upset you. Your head on his chest, the way you fit next to him makes his mind spin. It's the thought of Mingi's disapproval that scares him more than anything. Now that he knows you have feelings for him, it's almost like his whole life is written in front of him. He sees you in his life forever, just like he sees Mingi being his best friend forever. He sees both of you as anchors in his future, a blissful, wonderful future. But if Mingi disapproves, what will he choose? He knows he won't be able to pick one of you or the other. It feels too cruel. To him, more than anyone. He knows it's a little selfish, but it's truly how he feels.

"I will talk to him tonight, I promise. Have a family thing I have to attend in the evening but afterwards I will go and talk to him. And then we'll go from there. Okay?" He pulls your face away from his chest and kisses each of your rosy cheeks, then wipes the remnants of tears from them. He kisses you softly, wanting you to know he needs you. He hopes you can read how deeply he feels through his actions because he feels he has to wait with his words. He trails down to your neck, knowing you are particularly sensitive there, wanting to distract you from the intense emotion of the previous moments.

"Yunho!" you laugh and hit his arm, not wanting to be so turned on first thing in the morning. Knowing he has to leave in a few moments and won't be able to finish the job. He feigns injury at your strike, grabbing his arm and scrunching his face up in pain. As you laugh at him he takes his moment to pinch your side, his favorite way to mess with you. And then you're hitting at him again, laughing almost hysterically, forgetting everything that just happened. It was his goal and he feels lifted by hearing your laugh, by seeing your wide smile and a more playful glint in your eyes. He gives you a final hug goodbye and then leaves, and you find yourself alone in your quiet apartment, both your roommates still asleep.

As soon as he's left your apartment, a feeling of impending doom envelopes your chest. The thought of Yunho telling Mingi tonight, of Mingi feeling so mad at the two of you that he won't talk to you. Probably not forever, you hope. But you suddenly realize you must talk to him too. Must talk to him first. If only you didn't have stupid classes. At least you're out by 4pm today, so you can still beat Yunho over there. You decide you must; it feels like your only hope. You pick up your phone and call Mingi.

"Hi, what's up?" he answers, sounding happy. Your heart sinks more knowing you and Yunho will probably ruin his good mood later.

"Are you busy this afternoon? Can I come over after my classes?" you ask. The two of you never really waste time with niceties.

"Yeah you can come today, I'll be back home by 3 today. When are you done?"

"I'm done at 4, I'll come afterwards. Do you have food I can make for dinner?"

"Yes mom, I did actually go grocery shopping over the weekend." Mingi laughs at his own sarcasm.

"They grow up so fast," you sigh sarcastically back, hoping Mingi thinks it's funny. Sometimes it's hard for him to take good care of himself, but if you ask too sincerely if he's okay he'll feel upset sometimes too. Like your concern only reminds him how sensitive and fragile he is. So you have to fit in the questions amongst humor, subtly slip them in. You'd do anything for him, even something as simple as grocery shopping if he needed it.

"I should go, I should have left like five minutes ago. See you later, love you!" he says.

"Love you too, have a good day!" you respond. Now that you know you'll be seeing him your heart beats faster; already your nerves are fried at the idea that you'll be asking him, telling him everything. Not for nearly nine hours, you remind yourself. But it doesn't help. Your heart still beats, your body still shakes. You decide to head to campus early and start studying, because there's no way your morning will be relaxing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankfully class is busy and full and you have several assignments that keep you occupied in the morning, so your day flies by. Your final class is done and it is 4 o'clock on the dot, your professor being determined to get home earlier rather than later just as the rest of you are. Your focus had remained fairly steady during class but as soon as you exit the room and start walking your heart is in your throat and your legs feel wobbly. I have to do this, you tell yourself. I can't let Yunho tell him first. You feel certain Mingi will feel particularly betrayed if that happens. And you want to test the waters first, to ask subtly. Like you know how to do with him. Yunho knows him well, but you aren't sure he's mastered that art as well as you have.

You enter Mingi's apartment to a big smile and big hug. It's hard for people to believe the two of you are siblings sometimes, because of how much taller he is. It is a bit of a genetic surprise to be so differently shaped. You don't even look very similar facially. But you do share the same sensitivity, even if you have been much better at managing it. No one really knows how sensitive you are, except him.

"How was your day, how's school?" he asks.

"Good good, today was fine. It's been going well," you respond, trying to keep your tone casual.

"Did you get your grade back on that paper?"

"Oh yeah, I got an A-," you say proudly.

"That's amazing! You said that professor is a tough grader, right?" he asks. You nod. "You're such a goody-goody. Always doing everything right."

"I like having my shit together. Makes me feel calm," you respond.

"You should try letting loose sometime, maybe you'd enjoy that too."

"I've never really been allowed to. Or able to..." you trial off.

"I know," he responds. He pulls you into a hug again, knowing exactly what you mean. He is eternally grateful for your maturity and level-headedness. It's always put him at ease. "You wanna watch something while we eat?"

"No, let's just talk. I haven't seen you in a couple weeks."

"We text like every day," he says.

"It's not the same," you say.

"I suppose you're right," he responds. He looks at you again, sensing something is slightly off. But overall he is struck by how content you seem. "You seem really happy lately," he says.

"I am," you respond, unable to stop a smile from forming on your lips at the thought of Yunho. "I didn't know it was obvious to anyone else."

"This whole last year you've seemed so happy," Mingi says.

"It's cause you seem happy," you say, catching yourself off guard with your honesty. Has it really been that? you think. Yes, it has. Mingi has finally seemed to be consistently feeling good this last year, and it's made you more content than ever. You momentarily consider not asking him about Yunho, not bursting his bubble.

After cooking and eating most of your food you finally gain the courage to say it. The whole evening has been a wonderful session of catching up on the last few weeks, of telling Mingi the silly drama happening with other tutors at your work and him updating you about the two managers that everyone thinks are secretly dating. You wish it could just continue on in the same way for a few more hours, wasting the rest of the day away with silly conversation. But your nerves have been eating at you all evening, gently at first. Now it feels aggressive; now your whole nervous system feels like a city at rush hour, jam packed with cars and accidents and people rushing their way to wherever they're going. You feel like you'll explode if you wait any longer.

"Have you talked to Yunho recently?" you venture, hoping it doesn't sound strange.

"Of course, I saw him yesterday. We had a photo shoot." Mingi pauses. "Why?"

"I was just curious," you say, not at all sounding believable.

"Y/n, you don't need to check on me, if that's what you're doing. Me and Yunho are still best friends, as always. Just because we don't live together anymore doesn't mean I don't see him or we're not as close."

Momentarily you feel relief at Mingi's incorrect assumption that you asked to check up on him. Momentarily you feel like you could escape the line of questioning you set up for yourself. You could just go along with it, just admit that you were checking up on him and say sorry, and then change the subject. Feelings soar through your chest, one of relief mixed with shame, and one of anxiety mixed with pride. Just push through, just fucking push through, you tell yourself. You breathe, steadying yourself. Mingi knows this look, this breath that you take.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Mingi, I need to tell you something. It's about-" just then you are cut off by loud knocking at his front door.

"Who is it?" Mingi asks, not wanting to get up from the table.

"It's me. It's Yunho." You body freezes, your eyes widening. Mingi stands up to go open the door but you are unable to turn and follow him. You stay still as if glued to your chair. You look at the clock, which reads 7:47. Is he really done with his family thing already?

"What's up?" Mingi asks Yunho, greeting him with a hug similar to the one he gave you.

"Mingi, I need to tell you something. I-" Yunho cuts himself off at the sight of you. You've managed to turn your head towards the door and your eyes catch on each other, an obvious tension palpable. You snap your eyes away; it felt like his were burning into your soul. You feel so stupid for having waited so long to tell Mingi.

Yunho can't stop looking at you, a mixture of concern and confusion clear in his face. And Mingi can't stop looking between the two of you, his own face twisted in confusion. You seeming nervous to say something didn't seem all that weird. You were emotional like him and prone to making a big deal of things, at least in the way you broke news to him. But Yunho's unexpected appearance and unexpected words really were not like Yunho at all. And the look he was giving you was so fully of intensity. Longing too, it seemed. Mingi's mind raced trying to put the pieces together. He thought he knew what this was about. He had been waiting for the two of you to say something. All of the members had been waiting. But now his little sister seemed hurt, and his best friend so confused?

"What the hell happened?" he asked, finally. It was all he could say.

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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Jeong Yunho : Fell In Love With A Pirate (Part 1/7)

Pairing : Jeong Yunho (Ateez) and named character (Kim Yumi)

———————————————————-

Synopsis : Kim Yumi is a pirate captain, known for being stern and cool in her manners of living. There are two things that matter most to her in this world, the sea and her freedom. That was until, Jeong Yunho.

Yunho is the crown prince of a nation that his father has almost ruined. And it is up to him to restore the prosperity of his nation that he holds so dear. That was his only goal in life, until he met Yumi.

What happens when a prince falls in love with a pirate? Is their love impossible?

_________________________________

Yunho aimed his arrow properly, one of his eyes squinting in order to focus at the target in front of him. He was about to let go of the arrow when someone ran into his training grounds, making yunho pause as he turned around to face his bestfriend, Song Mingi.

Mingi : there's…yunho, there's an execution that's going to happen.

Yunho turned back to face the target, raising his arrow once again as he said

Yunho : I know.

Mingi : then why are you here! You're the crown prince, you're supposed to-

Yunho : I don't like watching someone die, mingi.

Mingi : do you know who that someone is?

Yunho : eomma said he's the captain of a pirate gang that's looted half of our coastal villages. If anything he deserves-

Mingi : it's not a he, it's a she.

Yunho turned to face mingi in confusion, not being aware of that fact. Of course, whether it was a man or a woman, the punishment remained the same, but his mother had told him it was a man. Why would she hide something like that from him?

Yunho : what?

Mingi : yunho-ya, it's Kim Yumi.

Yunho dropped his bow and arrow, his eyes widening as he abandoned everything and ran towards the execution grounds, mingi cursing under his breath before following his bestfriend. Yunho didn't know what to feel. Betrayal? Shock? Pain? Fear? All he knew was one thing, he couldn't let the one woman he loved die, he needed her alive, and hence this execution had to be stopped somehow.

Yunho's eyes widened as he reached the front of the execution platform, looking at the executioner who had his arms high up in the air, holding the ax tightly. Yunho gasped, his heart beating faster as he shouted at the top of his lungs

Yunho : STOP!

His voice rang throughout the entire ground, making everything pause on it's tracks. The people who had earlier been cheering stopped doing so, their heads now bowed down at the sight of their future king. The queen, yunho's mother, looked at him in surprise, not expecting him here. Yunho ran up the stairs towards the woman who still had her head rested on top of the brick, not moving even after yunho called her

Yunho : yumi-ya.

Yunho kneeled down on the platform, holding yumi's arms as he laid her against his chest. The crowd gasped at that, the queen hastily walking up to yunho as she whisper-shouted

Queen : yunho! What are you doing, she is a murderer!

Yunho looked at yumi who was lying half unconscious against him, her blood staining his white silk shirt.

Yunho : I will not let you execute her.

Queen : yunho!

Yunho looked up at his mother, his sharp gaze tearing through her soul as he said

Yunho : stop, eomma. I will not hear any more of this.

His words were final, and even the queen seemed to understand that. Yunho stood up with yumi in his arms, her body falling limply against yunho's. the crowd stared in pure shock as yunho climbed down the steps, walking towards the palace with a blank face. He turned to mingi on the way and said

Yunho : bring the doctors to my chambers, she needs to be treated as soon as possible.

Mingi nodded as yunho let out breath and walked away from the execution grounds, not having a care about anything except the woman in his arms. As yunho entered the palace insides, yumi shifted slightly, a small whimper falling from her torn lips. Yunho quickly took off the mask that was covering her face, throwing it away. Yunho ran his thumb along her hair softly as he whispered

Yunho : shh, you're going to be alright love. I'm right here.

Yumi slowly opened her eyes, shock filling it as she whispered weakly

Yumi : y-yunho?

Yunho : yes, it's me.

Yumi : I'm…I'm supposed to be dead.

Yunho : well you're not. And you're not going to be, for a long time.

Yumi : yu-yunho, you can't…you're not sup-supposed t-

Yumi cut herself off with a hoarse cough as more blood trickled down her lips, yunho shaking his head worriedly as he said

Yunho : no, stop talking. You mustn't talk when you're wounded like this.

Yumi : I…I wan-wanna sleep-

Yunho : then sleep, close your eyes baby. I'll take care of you.

Yumi looked up at yunho, not really understanding the situation she was in right now. But the more she stared at the face she had always imagined of in her hardest moments, she slowly felt herself plunging into darkness, finally going unconscious.

___________________________________

Doctor : your majesty, you need to step out for us to-

Yunho : why is it that you can't do it while I'm in here?

Mingi : yunho, it's medical procedures.

Yunho : how do I know they won't do anything to her! I do not trust these people.

Doctor : your majesty, we're doctors. We have taken an oath that does not allow us to take any human's life, even if it is a pirate captain.

Yunho still eyed them suspiciously, half-minded. Mingi sighed and laid his hand on yunho's shoulders before whispering

Mingi : yunho-ya, she's bleeding. Let them do their job.

Yunho looked at the doctors with fierce eyes as he said

Yunho : if anything happens to her, all your heads will be on display on spikes.

Doctor : yes, your majesty. We will do our very best.

Yunho looked at yumi one last time before leaving the room, mingi shutting the door behind them once they stepped out. Yunho was about to say something to mingi when he bowed down

Mingi : your highness.

Yunho turned around to face his mother, her eyebrows now furrowed in pure anger.

Yunho : eomma.

Queen : what the hell did you just do back there, yunho?

Yunho : I saved the woman I love.

Queen : she's kim yumi! She's the captain of the most deadliest pirate gang and you don’t realize the amount of people who have lost their lives in trying to capture her!

Yunho : eomma, please. I can't let you do anything to her.

Queen : the people are going to be furious if they find out that you're getting our best doctors to heal her-

Yunho : we're the rulers, not them. The people are going to believe whatever we tell them so we're going to tell them this isn't yumi.

Queen : what absurdity are you saying, son.

Yunho : none of the people have seen yumi, have they? So we tell her this woman inside is someone else, and that the real kim yumi is already dead.

Mingi : that's actually-

Queen : you want us to lie to our citizens!

Yunho : I need to protect her, eomma. I need her next to me, I can't watch a man slice her head off!

Queen : she killed dozens of lives jeong yunho!

Yunho : BUT SHE SAVED MINE!

The queen paused, her eyes widening. Saving the royal heir's life was considered divine in the books, and if it were anyone else they would have asked for the hefty sum they are entitled to receive if they had actually saved a crown prince's life.

Queen : but she didn't…she never came to collect the prize…

Yunho : because she loved me. She said she didn't need the money she could've gotten for saving me, no matter the amount of times I tried to convince her.

The queen plopped down on the seat beside her, asking under her breath

Queen : when did this happen?

Yunho : 3 years ago.

__________________________

3 YEARS AGO :

Yumi : YAH! GET THAT EXTRA ROPE TO THE TOP OF THE SHIP.

The person nodded at yumi before quickly climbing up the stairs to go upstairs. Everyone was in a hurry, the ship was meant to leave within 15 minutes and they didn't have enough time. Yumi let out a breath and walked to the edge of the ship with her hands on her hips, inhaling the sea breeze in. She felt her eyes wander to the market streets, taking in the familiar surroundings for one last time. Chances were she wouldn't come back here again.

Yumi frowned as she saw an unknown figure rushing past the crowd of people, looking backwards in panic. And yumi realized why he was panicking, there were a group of people behind him, chasing him. Yumi felt a smirk spread on her face as she looked at the man desperately trying to jump over boxes continuously, somehow managing to skillfully avoid all obstacles. He had good training, and this type of training was uncommon.

Yumi : princeling.

The prince ran into some alley, the other men following him while shouting. Yumi contemplated for a moment as she leaned against the railing, thinking about whether she should save the man when her ship was meant to leave soon. But as she thought more about it, she supposed a little fun wouldn't cause much harm.

Yumi let out a breath and picked up her sword before shouting at her crew

Yumi : DO NOT LEAVE UNTIL I COME BACK. OR I'M HUNTING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU DOWN.

The members shouted an "aye aye" as yumi skipped down the steps of the ship, running towards the alley the prince had previously ran into. Yumi finally found the person she was trying to, his figure lying on the ground, half alive while the other men were still beating him brutally. Yumi sighed at the prince's state as she tapped her sword against the rocky floor thrice, making all of them turn to look at her

Yumi : wanna fight someone your size instead, boys?

One of the men snorted, moving away from yunho as he said

Men : you? Our size? You look like you could get all yo' bones crunched under our feet.

Yumi smirked and tilted her head before saying

Yumi : never underestimate a lady with a sword.

She charged towards the man, quickly slashing at him with a sword as she slid under him smoothly. The man was about to turn around in shock when yumi stabbed her sword right through his heart from behind, making him cough up blood as he fell on the ground, dead. The other men now ran towards her while shouting, clearly enraged.

There were about 6 of them, and yumi was only one single lady. But not one of them seemed to leave even a scratch on her body. She was swift, probably since as the other man had said before, she was only half their size. But her father had always taught yumi to take that to her advantage. And so she did, finally managing to kill every last one of them.

Yumi let out a breath as she kicked the last man away from her, walking up to the prince who was now looking up at her with wide eyes. Yumi brought her sword to the side of his face, making him shut his eyes tightly thinking she was going to kill him. The prince opened his eyes as he felt yumi slide the flat part of her sword through his left cheek, smearing the blood of those men on his already red cheek as she said

Yumi : that's on you, prince.

Yumi turned around, walking towards her ship while sheathing her sword back. The prince got up from the ground while stumbling, running up to yumi, panting heavily

Prince : how did you know I'm a prince?

Yumi : very obvious with the way you ran from those men. Not everyone gets the training you people get.

Prince : and you? You seemed to fight well too, but you're not a royal, are you?

Yumi : curious, aren't you little prince? Prolly what got you into that mess in the first place.

Prince : what's your name?

Yumi : goodbye.

Yumi climbed up the stairs to her ship, motioning to her members that she was back as they nodded. The prince jumped on the ship as well, alerting the crew of the ship. They were about to pick up their weapons in alarm when yumi held up her hand, turning to face the prince

Yumi : what do you-

Prince : I'm Jeong Yunho.

Yumi : don't remember asking.

Yunho : I wish to come with you.

Yumi : don't you have a kingdom to rule, prince?

Yunho : I'm not king yet, and my father won't mind if I'm gone for a few days.

Yumi : and you think we're coming back here?

Yunho : you're…not?

Yumi : no.

Yunho : where are you going then?

Yumi : do I need to give you our itinerary, prince?

Yunho : well then don't bring me back.

Yumi frowned as yunho got in the ship, walking towards the deck. Yumi let out an annoyed breath and held yunho's arm before banging him against the railing of the ship, making his eyes widen

Yumi : this is my ship, and only those who I wish would aboard it. You are the crown prince, jeong yunho.

Yunho : then wish for me to be on it, I am not leaving.

Yumi : bloody hell-

Yunho : please, I need to be away for a while. You do not understand my situation-

Yumi : and I don't want to. This isn't your decision to make, prince.

Yunho : then how about this. You take me away from my kingdom for a month, and when you drop me back here, I will give you whatever money it is that you require.

Yumi : you think I need your money?

Yunho : everyone needs money, especially those who would have to maintain ships and go for long voyages.

Yumi looked up at her crew, silently asking them. They nodded, knowing that money was invaluable to people like them, the prince was right after all. And it was easy money to earn, all they had to do was let this prince be on board for a few days.

Yumi sighed and looked at yunho before saying

Yumi : 30 days, and 10 million for it.

Yunho's eyes visibly lighted up at that, finally getting what he wanted.

Yunho : wait, really?

Yumi stepped back and said to her crew

Yumi : let's get going then! Put those rows to work.

__________________________________

Yunho : so you're…voyagers?

Yumi twisted the helm as she said

Yumi : pirates.

Yunho paused, his eyes widening as he stared at yumi in shock

Yunho : pi-pirates? I mean…now that I think of it, it does make sense but the people back at the market-

Yumi : they don't know us. We didn't really come to your kingdom to loot this time, we came only to inspect the geography.

Yunho : so you are planning to loot us sometime?

Yumi : depends. There isn't really much to loot in your villages, your kingdom isn't really prosperous right now, is it?

Yunho : not now, no.

Yumi : is it ever going to be, prince?

Yunho sighed and looked out into the sea as he said

Yunho : I hope someday it would be, but as long as my father is king, it's not going to happen.

Yumi : not really a fan of him, are you?

Yunho : not exactly, I suppose.

Yumi : he the reason you left then, prince?

Yumi didn't know why she wanted to know, she's never been someone who was ever curious about anything. She always believed curiosity would turn into human emotions and she mostly hated emotions because of the effect it had on her. But for some reason now, she didn't seem to mind.

Yunho : something like that. He's getting more ill as days pass, but he refuses to give the crown over to my mother. He's the reason our kingdom is slowly losing its shine, he cannot rule properly anymore and he won't pass it over to a woman either.

Yumi : then why don't you just take over? He'd be willing to give the crown over to his son, wouldn't he?

Yunho : yeah uh, I'm not ready for the crown.

Yumi snorted as she looked at Yunho

Yumi : you're a prince.

Yunho : prince or not, I'm only 23.

Yumi : well I'm only 25 but I'm the captain of this crew.

Yunho : I'm not you, noona.

Yumi paused at that. No one had ever called her anything like that, her parents had always called her by her name, or 'daughter'. And the other had always called her captain or 'miss kim' before her father died.

Yumi : don't call me that.

Yunho : why not?

Yumi : it sounds too...close.

Yunho : well then noona, too bad because I'm still going to call you that.

Yumi : should I just throw you off this ship already?

Yunho : 10 million, noona.

Yumi rolled her eyes and harshly twisted the helm, making the ship turn abruptly. Yunho stumbled and fell down from the sudden movement, looking up and glaring at the woman in front of him

Yunho : YAH!

Yumi smirked as one of the crew members screamed from above

??? : CAPTAIN, DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THAT SUDDENLY OR WE'RE ALL GON' DIE.

Yumi chuckled at that as she continued with her work, the wind blowing her blonde hair back. Yunho stared at her from under, feeling his heart race at yumi's smile. Oh dear, he thought.

________________________________________

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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Just Like That

yunho x f!reader

Summary: Yunho invited his girlfriend over to his dorm room, while all the members were there

Word Count: 611

Genre: 18+, MDNI, established relationship

Warnings: smut

Yunho and Y/N had planned a quiet evening together in his dorm room. The other members were around, so they knew they had to be discreet. The room was small but cozy, decorated with posters and photos from their adventures with the group. It was late and the rest of the members were scattered around the dorm, either playing video games, chatting or preparing for bed.

Yunho closed the door behind them turning to Y/N with a warm smile. “We should keep it down,” he whispered, his eyes sparking with mischief.

Y/N nodded, giggling softly. “Yeah, we don’t want to give them any material to tease us with.”

They sat on his bed, talking and enjoying each other’s company. As the night wore on, the atmosphere shifted, their touches becoming moe intimate. Yunho’s kisses trailed down Y/N’s neck and she couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.

"Shh," Yunho murmured against her skin, her lips curving into a smile. "Remember we have an audience."

Y/N bit her lip, trying to stay quiet as Yunho's hands roamed over her body. The tension between them grew and soon, they were lost in each other. Yunho's touch was gentle yet insistent and Y/N's breaths came in quick, quiet gasps.

"Just like that," Yunho whispered, his voice low and husky.

Y/N's fingers raced at his words and she nodded, her hands gripping his shoulders. Yunho's movements became more purposeful, his whispered encouragements spurring Y/N on. "Just like that baby," he repeated, as he ran his palms from her hips up to her shoulder blades.

Y/N's fingers dug into Yunho's back as they moved together, their bodies perfectly in sync. "Just like that, yeah," Yunho murmured again, his hands leaving her body and resting them on the bed left and right his body, that way having more power in his thrusts. Yunho's head fell behind, while Y/N had her hands on his shoulders bouncing on top of him.

Y/N's soft moans and Yunho's quiet murmurs filled the room, blending with the distant sounds of the other members. Despite their best efforts to stay quiet the intensity of their connection made it difficult.

"Just like that," Yunho whispered one last time, his voice trembling with emotion.

They reached their highs together, their bodies trembling with pleasure. Y/N collapsed beside Yunho, both of them trying to catch their breath without making too much noise. They lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow, before reluctantly pulling apart.

"I should go," Y/N whispered, nearing Yunho's face and leaving a kiss on his cheek.

Yunho nodded, his eyes soft. "Yeah, before they start wondering."

Y/N quickly dressed and gave Yunho another lingering kiss. "I love you," she whispered, slipping out the door.

As she left, Yunho could hear the muffled laughter and teasing remarks from the other members. He braced himself, knowing what was coming. The door to the common area swung open and there they were, grinning like Chesire cats.

"So, had a good time?" Wooyoung teased, winking.

"We could hear you guys," Jongho added with a smirk. "Just like that, huh?"

Yunho rolled his eyes, too tired to argue. He sprawled on the couch, letting out a long, contented sigh. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he muttered, a smile tugging at his lips despite his exhaustion.

Seonghwa chuckled, thowing a pillow at Yunho. "You owe us for the free entertainment."

"Whatever," Yunho replied, closing his eyes and sinking deeper into the couch. "I'm too tired to care."

The members continued to laugh and tease, but Yunho was already half-asleep, a satisfied smile on his face. Despite the embarrassement, he wouldn't trade moments like these for anything.

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yuyuurinna · 1 month ago

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Antiserum D // Loving Professor Jeong #1

Antiserum D (Loving Professor Jeong series #1) Professor/College au.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x (f) Reader [ft. Choi San & Song Mingi]

Warning: smut, prof!yunho, dom!yunho, sub!reader, student!reader, age gap, teasing and suggestive actions, size kink, big dick Yunho, dirty talk and pet names (master and pup), blowjob/throat fucking, spanking, rough sex, unprotected sex, edging, creampie and dacryphilia.

Note: do not proceed if you're uncomfortable or triggered by the mentioned tags. Also note the age gap tag, here the reader is 21 and Yunho is 32, which makes it 11 years of gap.

Side Note: this series will contain 'hyung line' as the professors and the 'maknae line' as minor characters; except for Choi San and Song Mingi, these men are cheeky so look out for them. Again, as my other series, 'the reader' does have a name, i.e, Lee Sherri. Nicknames are bound to follow, so don't worry. I only write names in my oneshots because it's too annoying to write [y/n] everywhere and it ruins my flow of writing. Anyway, enjoy!

Gist: you had a rival in college, yes you did. It wasn't a student, rather the person you hold your grudges against is one of your professors. Now, you're in your senior year of bachelor's degree, running late for a morning class—knowing well he takes this class, what do you think the consequences would be?

Word Count: 12,164

'My dog died.'

No, you don't have a pet!

'My bus was late.'

You live on-campus.

'The coffee shop was crowded.'

You don't freaking have a cup in your hand!

'Umm, I overslept.'

Well, he doesn't need to know the truth.

He really doesn't need to know the truth to why you were running late to his morning class. As time would have it, you did oversleep; lethargic from last night's meaningless meandering from bar to bar, in search of your sober soul, you surely had forgotten about your morning class the next day. Weekends are supposed to be lax and diverting. They're your only shot at having a good time with your friends. You weren't going to let your fear of being reprimanded by your 'favourite' professor stop you from having the fun you deserved. The weekdays were long, tedious and dull with all the lectures and practical sessions to attend.

You're sprinting up the stairs to get to your department; the science building is supposedly long and encompasses all other departments falling into it. Your department (zoology), moreover, your class was situated on the second level of the building. Meeting with the long hallway on your way, which apparently was the physics department, you turn a corner and are merged with another long hallway leading to yours. The grotesque stench of formaldehyde hits your nose the moment you walk past the junior laboratories of your department; that's where they were trying to preserve biological specimens, the 'tingle-your-spine' kind. There are lecture halls and laboratories on one side of the long hallway, while the other side was an open space with concrete railings and pillars; this space opened into the botanical garden the botany department had been tending to, so it housed large trees, a decent number of shrubs and flowering plants, including a variety of cactus and other succulents.

Rushing in your steps, holding your tote bag close to you, your eyes scramble past the open space and the garden onto the walking street of your campus; it was borne with trees on both sides, and amidst the thicket of greenery you find the main building of psychology department. You almost heave out a laugh, reminiscing of the last night when your best friend (who studies psychology) was drunk out of his mind and had been making out with a lamppost. You pull yourself out of that daze, increasing the pace of your sprint to get to your laboratory.

First red flag of your day, the doors to your lab were open wide. Second, your supposedly 'favourite' professor was midway through an explanation about the experiment you were going to perform today. And third, you were technically thirty minutes late to the lab.

Quiet on your feet, you try to sneak inside; the structure of your lab was a little different, with sitting desks on one side of it, and workbenches on the other. In retrospect, this was your senior year's class where apparent lectures took place, and the workbenches were designated for less involved experiments. At the very front of your class/lab is a podium, a chalky black board, and a desk for professor. You glance at the front after realising all students had occupied the workbenches, you catch up on the glimpse of Professor Jeong carrying on with his explanation till his eyes meet yours.

"Miss Lee," he grumbles, amidst his explanation, "sneaking in—" mumbling he checks the time on his wristwatch, the sleeve of his coat riding up, "—a total of thirty minutes late. You better have a good reason."

He folds his arms over his chest, and stares down at you. While you halt midstep into the class, standing straighter you clear your throat and feel your mind stutter looking at him. Why did he have to dress so provocatively? And the outfit in concern was his beige coat and matching pants, a white long sleeved turtleneck underneath; you didn't quite like how your heart was palpitating watching him, keenly grazing your thirst-filled eyes across his face, noticing the shine on his black rimmed glasses and the plumpness of his pink lips.

"Miss Lee?" he repeats, only to get you squeaking, "yes, professor—uh yeah, I was late because my alarm did not go off in the morning..."

He hums in contemplation, eyes narrowing on you before he sighs and shakes his head, "occupy one of the workbenches and do not touch anything before I tell you to."

You nod, pressing your lips tighter to prevent any sound from escaping your throat; you were certainly anxious and embarrassed to be late, but more precisely you were humiliated in front of your class for coming up with such a lame excuse. Sighing, you stuff your tote bag in your locker at the back. You quickly slip on a lab coat over your outfit, bubbling with disappointment as it was hiding your nubile outfit. Knowing you were running late, you still made extreme efforts to dress yourself up—the reason was quite overt, because you wanted to dress up for yourself—you wore a white blouse under a pastel blue sweater vest and paired it with grey skirt which rode up till your mid-thighs. The lacy thigh-high socks were just an added accessory to make yourself seem cute considering you also had a blue ribbon in your hair, holding it in a high ponytail.

The only workbench unoccupied is the one situated at the very end and far from either the professor's desk at the back near the lockers and the podium from where Professor Jeong was reading every movement of yours. When you get to your designated place, you glance at the workstation to take note of the apparatus, before glancing next to you, finding the most obnoxious person you could. Choi San, Choi freaking San was offering you a guileful smile, one whose intentions did not appear to be right, or even ethical.

Bastard.

"So, Miss Lee is late because she couldn't hear her alarm go off? Pathetic," he rolls his eyes, folding his arms over his chest, his own lab coat creasing by the elbows with his plaid shirt peeking from beneath. "I don't believe you—oh well, but I wonder what your favourite professor would think about you when he knows you were getting pissed drunk last night with your friends."

You weigh his words in your mind for a second before furling back a reply. "Aww, Sannie. If you're so desperate to get in my inner circle, just say so. I didn't know you would be so jealous of us..."

San's smile turns into a curve of amusement, "jealous of you? Me? Jealous?" he scoffs, "darling, you're dreaming. If I wanted to be in your inner circle, I would've just slept my way through it."

"Really now?" you retort, smiling softly, "slept with whom?"

"An easy prey to seduce would be you—" he clicks his tongue, "—if you can be so impressed by that..." he nods his head toward Professor Jeong, "...then I believe you'd be swept off your feet if I genuinely try to."

"You put yourself on such a high pedestal, Sannie," you muse, shaking your head lightly, "do you really think my standards are set so low to be dazzled by you?"

"Oh, only time would tell, Miss Lee," he rolls his eyes, keeping his sly smile on. "Maybe, you would get infatuated with me or give into your temptations."

"Ahh, such a dedicated wishful thinker you are," you snide, heaving a low chuckle, "the only thing I'm tempted to do is throw a chair in your fucking face—"

"Miss Lee!" you flinch in your skin, body spasming to the deep and coarse voice of the professor. Hesitant in yourself, you peek up to face him, finding him glaring at you without a twitch on his face. "You certainly are not going to pay attention to my class, then why waste my time? You're free to leave. I don't hold my students captive; the ones passionate about learning find a way to attend my class in any way they could."

Your cheeks heat up, turning a shade of faint cherry red; embarrassment licks your spine and head lowers itself, you won't forget this moment ever. San is busy staring at you, feeling a little guilty but of course he won't let you know that. Shortly after, you glance back at the professor, noticing him staring at you with his lips in a scowl and his eyes piercing through you. That alone, that look alone was enough for you to quiver in your shoes; his persona had always been the intimidating kind, the kind who is self-possessed and doesn't really bother himself with the rest of the world.

Professor Jeong wasn't fazed by anything, not even by the number of female students crushing on him in your department, rather in your class alone. He didn't acknowledge their stupefyingly sexual or overly sensual approaches, turned them down if he thought they were invading his privacy. You took that as a challenge; maybe, maybe not. Your rivalry with him wasn't because he was unapproachable or a forbidden fruit to taste, it was because he always found a way to rattle your senses and make you the fool.

You remember it as clear as a day, at the beginning of your senior year, the very first semester—attending his class on genetics, you were simply taken off by him and his way of speaking. His personality was homely, strict where it should be, however. Amidst his lecture, he caught you talking and joking around with your bench-mate and questioned you about the topic he was teaching.

"If you can yap useless things, then why don't you enlighten me with the working of gel electrophoresis, hmmm...?"

It stung. But not more than him adding, "I'm even surprised you could answer. Maybe you should focus yourself more on your academics than other things."

Other things? You realised he was making comments on your appearance, the way you were dressed, the way you had streaks of gold stitched in your hair, the way you always had playful make up on—he judged you based on that, and thus the profound feud between him and you began. After that, you would intentionally skip his classes and not make an effort to attend them; even the practical sessions, except for the mandatory ones where you would bite your tongue and listen to him demeaning your entire existence for not setting the microscope right.

"Alright, now that I'm done explaining the principle and bits of the procedure, you may follow the same with your partners; if you're muddled with any concern then heed my name." He announces out loud, stepping down from the podium.

You raise your head, further listening to his footsteps dither across the floor to the back of where another table had been put up for teachers' comfort. Though, that's what you thought. The mellow sound of his boots takes an unassuming turn to your row of workbenches, taking you off guard. You're trying to find the meaning behind his detour. Also, you had been oblivious from the start that this practical is supposed to be performed in pairs. And you had no one. Because you were late. Even the slow-witted and stolid transfer student, Reagan Keith had a partner; and her partner was San himself, something you definitely did not see coming.

"Miss Lee," Professor Jeong clears his throat, standing next to you, "I suppose you do not have a partner because of your tardiness, and I happened to pair all my students prior to you, which leaves me no choice but to perform this particular experiment with you. So now, take a brief look at the blackboard and what I've etched on it, try to understand it. Once done, we can surely proceed."

You nod, contemplating, biting your cheek, unable to comprehend the proximity between you two. The dense musk of his scent is wafting all your senses—the redolent scent of vanilla and cinnamon is a deadly concoction to drive you wild. His warmth is superficial, yet the kind which melts your mind with stupefying possibilities, just how he could be—you need to keep your thoughts clean and chaste. Still, you suppress your mind to a corner and peek at the blackboard, studying his neat hand etched on it. The title gave you the rough idea of what you're supposed to do.

'Determination of blood groups.'

Ahh, the title itself foretells the coming inevitable mishap is going to involve blood and blood lancets; you aren't so fond of the needles—no, it wasn't a phobia, you weren't fond of pricking yourself with the help of those lancets. The blue rounded capsules which compassed a sterile needle underneath was beyond torturous to you.

You heave out a deep breath, understanding the further procedure he had inscribed on the blackboard. Familiar with few terms, such as the usage of antiserums, and principle behind the entire procedure, you were relieved. Way more than relieved to know this wasn't something out of your expertise. The nurturing thought of you actually explaining it to him however was too heavy to bear. You clear your throat, fumbling in your words as you dart your eyes anywhere else but at him.

"Yes, Miss Lee, are you done gandering at the procedure?" he gawks, bewildered as if and continues, "now, please enlighten me with the steps so as to we can proceed with the experiment."

"We—we are determining the blood—blood groups," you stutter, not knowing where that came from, you turn your attention onto him, stifling a gasp upon noticing him leaning close to you.

"Go on, Miss Lee," he prompts you with a soft nudge of his head. "I'm sure having to palaver about for the entire day, you could at least narrate the steps to me. All I need is your guidance."

He's playing you again.

"Alright, I will—" your breath hitches in your throat—you witness him effortlessly shrug his coat off, revealing nothing of his skin but the long-sleeved turtleneck he wore under.

"Hmhm, yes...?" he instigates, putting his coat off to a side while he rolls the sleeves of shirt over till his elbows. "What's the first step?"

"Sterilisation." you mutter under your breath.

"Sterilisation of what, Miss Lee?" he teases, keeping a straight; his pushes his glasses further up his nose, which had apparently slipped off a bit.

"Sterilisation of the subject area."

"Okay, tell me which area is most suitable for this test?"

You nod, swallowing thickly as your eyes never leave his. "The tip of the middle finger."

You weren't going to waver, not even when his soft brown eyes were speaking the unbearable at the moment; how can he do that? How can he momentarily torment you with a sly curve of his lips or by the detrimental facade of his eyes?

"And why is that?"

"Tendon sheath—uh, the middle finger has tendon sheath which only limits it to the fingers; as for the thumb and pinky finger, the sheath extends a little further to radial bursae and ulnar bursae—so in case any infection occurs it'll be restricted to the middle finger unlike the thumb or pinky which can lead to the heart." You try your best to explain, forgetting how to breathe in the process.

"You know your stuff," he murmurs, his voice low and cold, "do you see any sterilisation pads on your table?"

Looking around your desk, almost immediately, your eyes lurk on a beaker full of 70% ethanol and cotton swabs. You bring the beaker close to you and reach out for the forceps placed next to it; extending the beaker toward to him, you clear your throat, hoping he'd get on the cue.

"Miss Lee, I'd very much appreciate if you were to perform all the steps involving this practical."

"Right—okay, so..."

You drag your words into a whisper, holding the palm of his hand in yours, while other picks out a cotton swab with the forceps. The piece of cotton rolls to and fro on his skin, rubbing gently. Hearing him wince at the cooling sensation of ethanol against his skin, you stifle a chuckle and let out a sigh; once you were done with sterilising, you reach out for the blood lancets. Picking out one, you rip the cap off to reveal a sterling needle shining with a sharp point.

"Have you done this before, Miss Lee?" he questions as he watches you hesitate with the blood lancet. "Pricking yourself is quite different from pricking others, isn't it?"

You nod because you knew how different it was. In actuality, you're scared. You always were terrified to prick yourself with the needle whenever you were required to and it was mostly during your practical classes involving forensics. The high possibility of piercing your professor's skin, past the point till where it's necessary, was an untold fear you couldn't overcome. But, as you glance up at his docile face adorning an encouraging smile, in addition to the haughty glint in his eyes, you are much more prepared for the consequences.

"I am absolutely terrified when it comes to pricking myself—what if I..." your glance at his hand, then dart your eyes to his, feeling a breath hitch in your throat.

"You won't hurt me," he reassures you, later on compelling you with his words, "any day now, Miss Lee."

The racking nerve in your head forces you to take a deep breath and you're hauling the pointed tip of the lancet close to his finger. You know it takes one sudden nick to break the skin, and you also know you're supposed to be careful and swift with it. Hesitation breaks your conscience, you're still in two minds, still wondering if this was a good idea. Regardless of your abrupt cold feet, you let the lancet pierce through his skin, drawing out a ceaseless stream of blood; Professor Jeong is heedful of his bleeding finger and proceeds to make three blobs of blood on a microscope slide.

He puts the slide back, the glass clinks against the table but it melts into your thoughts—you were ogling him. You notice his veiny hand trembling softly to the unbridled tremors from the cut on his finger, it was attractive. You wouldn't mind admitting it, he has great hands—and sadly, you had a fetish. Trapping your lower lip between your teeth, you admire the little things about him; the proximity faltered to nothing, gave away how spotless his skin was, how sublimely luscious his lips were, and how the tiny specks of green in his eyes were far too evident in the sea of umber. Though, his hands were all you could think about; his porcelain skin, the bulging veins wrapped around his knuckles while they branched further down his hand—uff.

"Miss Lee?" he calls out, snapping his other finger, "please pass me a cotton swab, I need to clean myself."

You were brought back to the reality, seamless kind, a little vapid where you were impelled to keep a safe and healthy 'professor-student' relationship with him.

Hold up!

Where in the world did that come from?

The thought of having something more than 'professor-student' relationship with him.

You and him?

That's a little...

Far-fetched.

Unless...

There was...

There was a way to vex him.

You look back to all the times he's devalued your existence during his classes. The haughty remarks which rolled off his tongue with so much ease to belittle your short-lived efforts in any of his class, or perhaps, in any of the activities your department would plan. A spark in your mind strikes you in a way you couldn't quite explain, but you know you're finding yourself tighten your grip on his wrist. It's oddly satisfying, it's benign in your mind—though, the tiny bulb of tease was going on and off every second you spent staring at him.

There goes nothing.

Without hesitating you bring his hand close to your mouth, your tongue darts out the minute his bleeding finger finds its way in your sight, and you lick up a stripe to clean the blood off his finger. You hear him gasp, a sharp intake of breath which already told you he was bothered by your actions. Continuing to the rhythm of your heart, you wrap your lips around the tip of his finger and give it a soft suckle. Soon, a metallic copper taste slides on your tongue. Such an eerie sight to witness, by your professors and the others too. Especially the spawn of devil who was too busy charming the ditzy transfer student off her feet; if San catches you being this 'type' of friendly with the professor you 'slightly' resent then you probably could never show your face to anyone on the surface of earth. Luckily, San wasn't even sparing a glance at you.

"Miss—Miss Lee?" his voice breaks when he calls out to you again, prompting you to loosen your grip on his hand before you're letting it drop to his side.

"You were supposed to add antiserums to the slide, drop by drop. Now..." he takes a deep breath, noticing your glossy eyes and your plump lips parted; he's definitely resisting his urges. "The blood on the slide is almost..." He glances down at the table. "...it's almost dry. Miss Lee—" he leans in close to your ear, a coarse whisper sending a shiver down your spine, "—I'd like to see you after class."

"Maybe you can justify your actions then."

He leans back and takes a short gander around. Curling his lips up in a riveting smile, he nudges you with a nod. "Add the antiserums now, Miss Lee. All the others have finished performing the experiment."

You're out of your daze, rummaging your eyes around to find many of your classmates are done with their work and had gone to the other side of the lab, where the desks were.

"I'll be checking your practical sheets before you leave, so make sure you complete them all now." he announces out loud in the class, earning muffled groans from his students. "And no excuses."

"You too, Miss Lee," he turns to you, "now, if you will, you have to tell me my blood group. So, go on."

Again, pulling yourself out of the stupor, you nod profusely and proceed to the next step before the blood on your slide is completely dry. You add a drop of each antiserum on the three droplets of blood; waiting for a second, you watch the drop with antisera D and antisera A added begin to clot. To your conclusion, Professor Jeong's blood group is A+ve. All while you did the experiment, his eyes were fixed on you, fixated on your quivering hands and lips every time you tried to do something. In some instances of his mind, he was admiring you and your dedication, and how badly he had rocked your boat into capsizing.

"Good," he muses, his words turning bitter soon, "you sure can do a few things right. Well, all that's left to do is—" he grunts softly as he pulls the sleeves of his shirt back down, while he shrugs on his coat, "—cleaning and writing. Chop chop, Miss Lee. And do not forget you have to wait after class."

With those spine-chilling words he leaves you stranded to your spot; unfortunately, this time San had overheard your conversation. He slides next to you, eyeing your workstation before glancing over at you.

His lips push themselves out into a pout, and he grumbles, "fucked up something?"

"None of your business," you grit your teeth, "get away before I chop your balls off."

"Oh, I'm shivering," he deadpans, nudging his elbow with your ribs, "come on, Lee. Tell me. What did you do for him to ask you to wait after class? We both know he's never done it—in fact he hates it when someone waits after class to 'talk' to him." he emphasises with finger quotes, rolling his eyes at you. "You fucked up big time then."

You heave out a long sigh, "I—just, shut up, San. You're the most annoying person in my life."

Grumbling, you glance at Professor Jeong, he was sitting on his desk at the back of the class, by the lockers. His stare was on you. It was on you from the moment he sat down. And even though you may not know what he was thinking, or wondering about, the glimpse of him having his teeth scratching on his lower lip was enough to let you know what exactly he intended on doing with you.

"Don't drag it out on me," he mumbles, his pout still intact on his face, "although, you're denying the truth, which means you two had an anomalous interaction..."

As he trails off, you roll your eyes at him. Finding the courage to break your eye contact with Professor Jeong, you glare at San and bite your lip. "Yeah, he made me wait after class. It's pertaining to me being late. Now off you go, make yourself useful elsewhere. Maybe, help Reagan find the remaining of her skirt, pretty sure she left it back at her dorms."

San muses for a second before leaning over to stare at the said girl's skirt; she was standing by the lockers chattering with someone. His face twitches smugly, his brows creasing as he checks her out.

"Oh, no no! That does seem more important than dealing with you, Lee." he smirks, biting his lower lip, "see you around, try not to get too infatuated with your favourite professor."

Sauntering away from you, he loses his lab coat and then engages himself with Reagan. You project your frustrations into a sigh and begin cleaning your workbench before heading to the lockers to retrieve your bag and other items. Walking past the professor was a challenge in itself because you were too fazed in your mind by everything he did. Though, you could really say you were fuddled over his decision to make you wait after class. Anyone could tell you exactly how much he despised his students waiting after class, 'cause most of the times it would be the absurd number of female students trying to confess their feelings for him. You could sympathise with him, understand where he was coming from because you would find yourself in a similar situation; you were well sought to in your department, endless confessions, profuse gestures of affection, what not.

Regardless, you realised what you wanted in a man. It was the professor himself.

"Miss Lee, I need your practical journal completed." he speaks up as you're walking past his desk with your tote bag on your shoulder and your lab coat neatly folded in your hands. "You know what, I'll go through it after class. Till then, get your write-ups done."

Offering you a redolent smile, he tears his eyes off you. You swallow thickly, knowing well how ineptly stuck you were with him, after class too. And one more fact, your practical journal was incomplete—blank at the most, which was a catastrophe in the waiting. As the fear creeps up your spine, you bite your cheek and stumble onto an empty desk, settling yourself down to catch a breath.

Time passes in a haste, without bounds, and soon the moment you dreaded arrives with a tinkering bell on it. The class is empty, except for you and Professor Jeong. You could listen to him breathe, placidly whistle out a grumble a few times since he was busy with something you didn't feel the need to pay attention to. The clock on the wall ticks again and you're gathering your stuff before 'sneaking' out of the class. If his attention is solely saturated over something useless to you, then he probably won't even notice you gone.

At least that's what you thought.

"Miss Lee, I must remind you of our little parley where I asked you to wait after class." He doesn't even peek from the file he was reading, and continues, "don't think I can't see you sneaking away."

You stop in your steps, right in front of the open door with a few students lurking behind in the corridor. Stifling a groan, you roll your eyes and turn around on your feet. The man is sat poised in his chair, his lips curved in a smirk as he's staring right through you. Your heart skips a beat, yes too cliche, but you felt its arrhythmic vibrations ring your ears.

"Are there any students loitering in the corridor?" he questions and you nod to it, pressing your lips together. "Wait for them to leave and then lock the doors."

Why?

Lock the doors?

Why lock the doors?

Now your heart was pounding in that bony little cage of yours. Sooner or later, you would find it either in your throat or your guts that is if he continues to stare at you with the intensity of sun. Quite lost in the trance of his melancholic yet concupiscent eyes, you start nibbling on your lower lip, wanting to squeeze your thighs together to rid yourself of the tension you felt in your cunt. The chatters start dithering outside, ascending to the wind of nothing and it brings peace to your mind; not that it wasn't peaceful before, but now, it's just you and him caught in a void of infatuation.

"Do not take my intentions in the wrong way, Miss Lee. I am not so fond of disturbances during one-on-one student session..." he explains, going back to reading his file. Though, after a while he clears his throat and prompts you, "any moment now, Miss Lee."

"Yea—yeah," you stutter, sensing your throat close up.

Taking a step forward you close the latches on the door. The exhilaration of you being alone with him is sort of distorted in your head when you make your way towards his desk. What does he have in his mind? What does he want from you? Is this one of his many ways to make you feel small and little? Like all the times he does when you're attending his classes or so.

The look in his eyes has a spark of joy, just humming across the field of brown containing his pep. Those same eyes follow you around, till you're in front of him; his face shows no emotion, except for that straight line of his lips.

"Would you need an invitation, Miss Lee? Your binder, please." he asks, peeking up at through his long lashes and the black rimmed glasses. The glare on them makes it hard for you to read his eyes this time.

You clear your throat, and fumble with your bag to take the thick binder out. Pages furled out of it, a few flying off to fall on the ground, while a few remained stuck in amidst the others; you could tell Professor Jeong wasn't too happy with the condition of your binder. To be fair, this binder was your repository for all performed experiments so far. Nonetheless, your binder was...incomplete. Biting your lip, you place your binder on the table in front of him.

He eyes it for a moment before grabbing it in his hands and flipping the pages. You couldn't resist holding him on a high regard; his sleek fingers pinching the edges of the pages, turning them, eyes rummaging along the lines, and his parted lips which could tell he was contemplating.

"I certainly did not expect this from you, Miss Lee." he clicks his tongue, "now that I see it for myself, I can't help but agree with my initial remark about you. I would suggest you focus more on your academics rather than wasting your time with your friends and ambling through your life."

He sighs in defeat, mostly disappointment and slides your binder towards you across the table. Pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, he takes a deep breath and turns his head to you, his face expressing nothing at all.

"Life's not all about strolling through one club then to another. And while you do that, I can't sit back and watch you ruin your potential, Miss Lee," he sucks his teeth, as he continues to berate you with his words, "you're in the running for most proficient student in our department, alongside Mr. Choi. Now, would you be delighted to bear a consequence where he holds the trophy and not you? All because of what...? Some fiddling people you call your friends whose only job is to drag you out to buzzing clubs and what not."

Listening to him hound your existence, your heart suddenly weighs down in your chest, it grows heavy till it touches your gut. Oh no, you were letting it affect your state of mind. On the verge of tears, you look away from him and fixate your blurry vision on the floor; it was overbearing to hold his eyes, to wallow in the disappointment he held in them. Moreover, you didn't want him to see you cry, or shed a tear for that matter because you know you were close. Very close.

You sniffle softly, lowering your head furthermore to avoid to his gaze.

"Miss Lee?"

Silence.

You don't care for the concern his voice shows and continue to toil yourself on the contrasting hue of morning sun and the grey tiles. Blurry vision captures the indefinite shadows of lockers, some bookshelves—the sun was crawling overhead, witnessing your derision with your professor. You don't try to pay him any mind, not that you could even if you wanted to. There's a possible reason to why you don't want to, maybe the answer lies in your uncertain infatuation with him, or maybe it does prove your outlandish feelings for him. Which one of it was genuine?

A small moment passes between you two, roiling in tranquil haze before he clicks his tongue and drawls on a breath. "And to speak on your furtive behaviour—"

"Why do you hate me?"

A beat of serenity yanks his attention.

"What do you mean, Miss Lee?"

"I asked, why do you hate me so much?"

You glance up at him, preparing your unfazed mind for his reaction to your reddened cheeks and nose, and the obvious streaks of tears down your cheeks. The muscles on his face twitch even if it was indiscernible to the moment, you study him; he reveals a speck of pity in his eyes, so pathetic for you to think he'd pity you.

"Sherri?"

His lips quiver so delicately, calling out your name in a sleek yet coarse voice. It was the first time he'd ever called out your name, enunciated each syllable in his utmost trepidation as if he really cared for you. That alone was enough to cause a havoc in your heart, dwindling it further down to your...maybe it was the way he spoke your name out, but you were definitely feeling a spark strike in your pussy.

"I do not despise you, Sherri," he softly murmurs, looking away from you for a long minute before trailing his pitiful eyes back on you. "If my actions have made you—"

"—you always belittle me, humiliate me in front of the class and pretend to act as if you do it all because you care." you ramble, "you don't care about my feelings! All you can think is how to make me fall from my grace. Isn't it?"

You shake your head and bring your hands up to wipe your tears off, which had uncontrollably gushed out of your eyes while you had your meltdown. Your tote bag falls onto the floor with a soft thud, and you pay no mind to it. The hyperventilation soon kicks in, suffocating your lungs with a want to break free from your chest, and your stomach littered with unwanted butterflies fluttering along. More tears slide out of your eyes, and you lose your capability to see clearer.

The dainty streaks of torment on your cheeks, your tears, and your flushed face was a huge turn on for him; he could not probably free himself from his fetish, but his philia for tears or anything remotely close to it, always excited his cock. He shifts in his seat, spreading his legs apart under the desk to free himself from the strain in his pants. Oh how badly he had been aroused, by just watching you cry.

"Sherri, you're mistaking my concern for bullying; fuck! Why would I want to torment or humiliate you in front of the class?" he questions, such dainty voice breaking your heart and making you feel pathetic to sob in front of him.

"Come here."

He lures you in with his soft voice, and a frail tug of his lips; his smile had already proved to be devastating to you and even the slightest of it can make you, his puppet. Without realising it, you're taking short strides around the table to be by his side. He has his hand extended in front of you, something you didn't quite understand until you hold it in hesitation, and he pulls you down on his lap.

You gasp, and then yelp when you land on his lap; at first you find yourself uncomfortable in his embrace but giving it a little time, you relax and settle down, still with a bit of unease. His arms wrap themselves around your waist and he leans close to rest his chin on your shoulder as you sit sideways on his lap. Ambiguous swirls of darkness cover his eyes, and your breath hitches trying to unravel his true intentions. Instead, you were starting to get comfortable with him.

"I do not resent you for who you are, Sherri," he begins with a whispery breath, rubbing your back as he does. "I resent myself for being so helplessly bound under your spell."

Your lips part open, your chest heaves up and down erratically to constrain your wildly pounding heart. Oh, you were gone, you most definitely were.

"Projecting my bitter disposition on you was a mechanism I sought to cope my untamed desire—the ugly desire to taste this forbidden fruit." Mumbling, he turns his head and traces his lips along your neck, kissing and sucking. "Holy fuck, this body of yours...those lips, you don't know how much I crave them."

His hands tighten around your waist, and you gasp for air, "Professor Jeong, this isn't ethical. You're violating the university policy...ah!"

He bites down on your neck, grabbing enough flesh in between his teeth to suck on it. That's going to leave a pretty purple bruise behind, all in its glory, on your neck—so fucking attractive to you. Pressing down on a moan, you drag your hands to his shoulders, hoping to shove him off to disturb his grip on you. Though you thought. It wasn't easy to make him budge, he wasn't letting you go, and you were gradually falling into that realisation.

"I could lose my job," he whispers, chuckling softly, "I can fucking lose my job if I engage with you, if I make my vile thoughts a reality but I can't control myself any longer, I need you, I need to ruin you—I know you feel the same way about me. Don't you, Sherri?" he nibbles on your earlobe, his hot breath fanning your ear. "Aren't your intentions the same as me, huh?"

"No." you mumble.

"No?"

You shake your head.

He doesn't believe you.

"Sherri, oh you beautiful liar," he sighs, his lips now curling into a smirk, "didn't you think of something else when you were sucking my finger off, hmm?"

You pout, not wanting to answer or have him the satisfaction of being right; instead, you start shuffling on his lap to get out of his hold. Squirming in his lap, you press your butt against his crotch, accidentally touching his hardened cock. It continues to poke your ass, and his fingers dig into your skin when his hold tightens on your waist. You were making it worse, it was visible on his face in the form of quivering lips and shut eyes.

"Don't move...!" he warns you, pressing your lower body against his lap, keeping you fixed in one place. "You'll make me...fuck. You do this on purpose, don't you?"

You stop moving—well you had no choice but to when his brute strength was holding you down against him. "I don't. I haven't done anything on purpose."

Lying is so easy. But him believing it has to be easy too. Though at this point you knew you were teasing him.

"Sherri, don't lie." He peels his eyes open and takes a sharp breath in, "get on your knees."

You gulp. Knees? He wants you on your knees...? That's...really fucking hot.

Eagerly, you crawl out of his lap as he gives you the chance to, keeping his hands to his side. He repositions his chair in a way to face you, as you're kneeling down in front of him, by the side of the table. There's not much distance between you, and the dithered proximity makes your heart palpitate with anticipation.

What was he going to do?

Your mind raced with the possibilities. Was he going to shove his 'obvious' boner down your throat? Was he going to make you ride him? What was his hauntingly beautiful mind thinking about?

"An obedient teacher's pet, how adorable," he coos, stroking his hand over your head as if to pet you.

"Professor..."

"Shush...!" he leans over, closely watching you with his fervent eyes. Out of nowhere the warmth of his thumb engulfs of your cheek. "Not a sound."

Brushing his thumb across, he collects a drop of your tear and brings it close to his mouth. He wraps his lips around his thumb and gives it a good suck; his eyes intently fixed on yours, delineating his intentions. You nod your head and watch him straighten his back to relax against the chair. His eyes glance over at the door for a minor second before he fixes them back on you; with a lilting smirk, he grabs the wooden pointer stick from his table and slaps its tip on the palm of his other hand. The same hand rubs along the length of it until his forefinger traces the tip before holding it in his one hand.

You couldn't help but gulp again, feeling aroused by his hand, and the way it was pumping the stick to and fro. Lowering yourself on your calves, you try to squeeze your thighs together. You wanted to ease your muscles, wanted to rid yourself of the tightness in your cunt because you were beyond wet for him.

"Hands behind your back," he commands, and you oblige without hesitation. "I asked you to be on your knees for me..." he softly mutters, tapping the stick twice on the floor to get you back on your knees.

You do that too; completely unaware of his next move. He drags the stick from the ground to you, to the hem of your skirt and lifts it up—exposing your ruined panties to him.

"Tsk, wet already?" he heaves out a breath, "do I really affect you that much?"

"Yes," you swallow and mumble, "you do."

"Hmm," he muses, humming his words along later, "that makes me want you even more."

With his other hand he takes his glasses off and flings them on the table. He pushes the stick further up till your waist to completely expose your dripping wet panties and your cunt; he licks his lips at the sight, his instincts running wild in his mind. Your hands were perfectly slotted in the small of your back, tightly wound together to appease the tension.

"Ah..fuck," you groan when you feel the wooden stick rub your cunt; he had angled it in such a way that it kept your skirt from falling down and it also gave him enough access to drag it along your slit. "Please, professor, I want you."

Listening to you mewl, his smirk widens, and he slurs his words, "now you want me, Miss Lee? Un-fucking-believable."

He picks up his pace, letting the stick rub itself perfectly against your slit; your cunt clenches around nothing, aching to have something in between, something to fill you up. You writhe in desperation, shifting your weight from one leg to another. Unable to contain yourself, you start grinding yourself against the stick, upon noticing it, he halts his movements and watches you with amusement. Casing his lips into a pout, he traces his forefinger on his lower lip; he's contemplating, mirthfully watching you pleasure yourself on the stick. You bring both of your hands to the front, holding the stick to stabilise it before you increase the pace of hips grinding down.

"Aww, is my little brat getting excited?" he scoffs, shaking his head lightly.

You press your lips together and nod your head, closing your eyes shut to the budding pleasure crawling up your body. Second by second, your sanity shrinks to nothing, making you loosen your grip on the stick. From the corner of your half-lidded eye, you watch him offer you a conceited smile, clearing his intentions out when he pulls the stick from between your legs and slides it up to your chin. Tapping its tip twice to your chin, he gets your attention on him with your eyes wide in anticipation.

He spreads his legs wider in front of you, putting his cock on a glorious display as it tightens in his pants; the outline of his cock figuratively makes you swallow a thick gulp of air. Keeping your head high with the stick, he uses his other hand to palm his crotch, gently wrapping his fingers around his cock to give it a few half-hearted pumps through his pants. With a nudge of his head, he drops the stick to a side and gestures you to come close. Biting your tongue, you crawl towards him, your heart in your throat now. Maybe it was the anticipation, the eagerness to see him bare and under the griming influence of your pleasure, but you were slightly alarmed to find yourself slotted in between his legs.

"Let's get my brat what she wants," he whispers further shifting comfortably in his hair. "Such hungry eyes gawking at the sight of my cock," he grabs your jaw lightly and strokes his thumb under your chin. He tuts, "I get these looks a lot but there's something about you— something about the way you're drooling over my cock."

You let your teeth sink deep in your lower lip, while your lips twitch into a soft smile of amusement. "Am I turning you on, professor?"

You release your lip from your teeth's grip, and he watches it wobble in a daze while you lean close and place your hands on either of his thighs. Rubbing circles with your fingertips on his thighs, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves.

"If that wasn't the case you wouldn't be here, Miss Lee. Kneeling between my legs, ready to take my cock in your mouth, hmm?" he suggestively murmurs, dragging his thumb to your lips till he forces it in your mouth. "Now, open wide."

Using his other hand, he fumbles with the buckle of his belt. While he does manage to get it undone, you decide to suck on his thumb which was still fixed in your mouth; you lick around, blatantly ignoring his rugged skin. You hear him grunt ever so gently to your mouth wrapped around his thumb, tingling with excitement to know what it would be like to have this same warmth around his cock. Everything passes in a haze when he restlessly tugs down on his pants and briefs at the same time; you notice him take his thumb out of his mouth and instead he replaces it with his cock.

The reddened tip of his cock nudges against your lips and you open wide, lowering yourself down on his cock—though, only halfway considering his length would take you long to adjust to while the thick girth already made the corners of your mouth sting. He holds your neck, his fingers delicately splayed on the nape as he pushes you down, however he's mindful of you and how much you can take in. You start stroking the remaining of his shaft—which you would eventually have to swallow deep in your mouth.

"Fuck, you're driving me insane with your mouth, I might..." he trails his words off into a low groan, beginning to thrust himself into your mouth. "I'm not going to last long, am I?"

He taunts, digging his fingers into your skin as he pushes your head further down on his cock; his thrusts become too sloppy, and you don't pay much mind to it. You are too focused on widening your mouth around his cock to fit him fully inside. Feeling the tip of his cock brush against your throat, you almost gag; your throat tightens, and the suffocation starts sneaking up on you, but you push yourself through and sink lower on his cock.

"Fuck, such a good brat, taking me in so well," he whimpers coarsely, "but this little brat needs to be punished for making me break my rules."

You gaze up at him with your teary eyes, softening them as he looks down at you too. Nodding your head, you hollow your cheeks and bop your head up and down after adjusting to his size. Your fingers dig into his fleshy thighs, constraining your moans with his cock stuffed in your mouth, you keep staring up at him till a few drops of tears cascade down your cheeks. He brings his other hand to caress your cheeks, thumb stroking off the tears as he doesn't let go of your head. You're on the verge of gagging on his cock, choking even, but disregarding your gag reflex, he bucks his hips into your face and his cock slides further down your throat. Unable to hold onto your moans and whimpers, you try to make a sound—the vibrations send him reeling from pleasure, he throws his head back and tightens his hold on your neck.

"Can't make a sound because my cock is—your mouth is stuffed with my cock, isn't it?" he teases, closing his eyes shut to relish the wetness and warmth of your mouth. "Don't worry—I won't—I won't cum too soon. My brat deserves a little—a little bit of fun even if she's being pun—punished."

His stutter was absolutely beautiful, it showed how much of a mess he was with your mouth wrapped around his cock, engulfed in the devious warmth of it. Somehow, it gave you a sense of victory, a sense of peace to know you had gotten him on his edge with only your mouth and nothing else. The saltiness of his precum floods your mouth—it makes you retch a bit regardless of that, you continue sucking him off while his thrusts are slow and steady. In the meantime, he pulls his untucked shirt above till his chest and holds it there; he pushes your head further down on his cock, till your nose is pressed against his pubic bone and your skin feels ticklish from his trimmed pubic hair.

His chest is rising and falling at an alarming rate; he surely was a mess, and you liked seeing it. When you peek up at him with your still-teary eyes, you notice sweat covering his forehead, making his hair stick to his skin while his cheeks are flushed with a shade of red. How adorable. How fucking adorable. The ever so haughty and stoic professor was writhing under your touches, with how you lapped your tongue under his shaft and purposely sucked your cheeks in to make it tight.

In actuality, you were really driving him wild; his grip on your neck loosens a bit for a hot second and he uses that time to let his hand entangle in your hair. You didn't realise when you groped his thighs for support, even so, your nails had dug deep enough to leave behind crescent marks on his skin, the kind which would fluster with a brutal purple tint tomorrow. Grasping a proper hold on your hair, he pulls you back and frees his cock from his mouth; a vile 'pop' sound resounds in the room while he does so.

The moment his cock is out of your mouth, you gasp for air, you swallow huge lugs of air through your mouth and glance at him with dazed eyes. His thick and veiny cock was slick with your spit, shining softly under the lights while a few strings of your saliva still connected your lips and his shaft. Your drool had covered every inch of his cock and had also slithered down your chin. The sensation in your mouth was a little sticky and salty from his precum. You keep your mouth wide open and wipe off the drool using the back of your hand; he smugly chuckles, eyes on you like a predator.

"Need to take a break?" he taunts you, belittling your presence and you shake your head to a no. Leaning over, he cups your face in both of his hands and grazes his eyes along your chest and exposed thighs.

"Get up."

Again, his domineering voice forces you to oblige, and you get on your wobbly feet—feeling your throat sore and tight from his cock hitting constantly, you swallow enough amount of spit and try to wash the sting down. He notices it but doesn't say much. His hands slide down from your face and hold your waist as you stand in front him; without any doubt, he pushes your front against the desk and makes you bend over. One hand on the collar of your blouse, and other on the small of your back; he keeps you in that position while he takes his time to shimmy his pants and briefs down till his knees. He positions himself behind you, managing to push your skirt up on your back to expose your dripping wet panties and your cunt. Your wet panties were driving him wild; his breathing becomes even more ragged when he snaps at the waistband and pulls them down to your knees. He swallows thickly when his thirsty eyes lurk over your glistening wet cunt, clenching around nothing for the time being.

"This wet cunt is going to take in every inch of me...fuck," he curses his under his breath while he smoothens his hand on one of your buttcheeks. "But we can't forget about your punishment, can we?"

He flattens his palm against your ass, keeping you pressed against the desk with his hand on your neck; you whimper in anticipation and hold onto the edge of the desk till your knuckles turn while. Anticipation makes you wiggle your ass slightly, as you're on your tippy toes and perfectly bent over the desk.

"No, we can't," you heave out a shaky sigh, not able to control your excitement anymore. "How are you going to punish me, professor?"

You sneer in your seductive voice, slurring your words against your rounded lips to get a reaction out of him. Having your vision limited to the empty classroom and the workbenches, the exhilaration of not knowing what he was going to do, makes you even wetter.

Yunho knows how vile your mind is, he knows the wet patch on your panties continues to grow the more he teases you and honestly, he wasn't complaining. He liked it as much as you did, but he hid it well in his composed speech and relaxed movements.

"There's only one way to punish a brat like you," he grunts, slapping one of your buttcheeks, "count them."

So, you were getting spanked. Such a fitting punishment for a brat like you, by a professor too—why did it feel like you were trapped in a low-budget student-professor porn movie? You can't complain anyway, you were absolutely absorbed in the trance of your pleasure and his hands caressing your butt.

You nod and thus begins the punishment.

Slap!

"One," you mewl, feeling his hand burn on your skin.

Slap!

"Two," your breath hitches when you go to say it out loud, your skin stinging from his hand.

Slap!

"Thr—three!" you groan out loudly, the impact jolting your body against the top of the desk.

This one stung like a bitch.

Slap!

Without any warning, he adds one more spank to the same buttcheek before moving onto the other. He offers it a soft squeeze first, and then pulls his hand back and flattens his palm over it.

Slap!

"How many were those, huh?" he asks your mind fiddles with the remaining brain cells—how many were those? Really. How many?

"Si—six," you somehow manage to sputter, your spit falling on the desk in front of you.

"Good girl," he praises, rubbing his hand on your buttcheek before tracing it down to your folds. His fingers press and nudge against your folds until he rams one finger along your slit. Pushing down, wedging his finger deep inside, he watches your juices coat the length of his finger before he brings it to his nose to give it a good sniff. "I wonder if you're enjoying this punishment, pup. Are you? Are you enjoying this punishment...?"

First, your mind goes haywire when he teases you with that nickname. Pup. Well, you were turning out to be his pet, you might as well roll along with it.

Second, you were certainly enjoying the punishment, liking the way his hands were able to engulf your entire buttcheek at once.

Third, you're forced to slip out of your sanity when he aligns his cock with your hole and slowly sinks in. Your aroused juices proved helpful for him to slip right in. You suddenly start feeling full, the stretch of your walls subsiding into a soothing ache and then it sublimes completely into pleasure. Your desires were getting quenched; inch by inch your cunt swallows him whole, the burn on your walls now pacified by him. He doesn't move when he bottoms out, he keeps his cock sucked deep in you. Keeping one hand on the small of his back, he pushes your nimble body further against the desk—your back arches inwards and prodding your ass out for his easy access.

"Fuck, such a tight cunt. Got no one to loosen it out, Miss Lee?" he smirks, grunting at the way your walls clenched around him and remains unmoving. "Don't worry, I'll fuck it loose—fuck," you tighten around him listening to his wispy words, "do you want me to, huh, pup? Do you want me to fuck you loose?"

"Yeah—yeah, yeah I'd like that," you murmur, your brain turned into a mush and your body shuddering as he slowly, very slowly, starts moving. He doesn't pull out completely, he keeps his cock buried deep in you and slides in and out at a leisure pace.

"Of course, my pup would like to get fucked senseless," he mumbles, slapping one of your buttcheeks again.

You were fully sure his hand was now printed on your skin in a bright red shade; the soreness didn't matter because the thrill was eating you up and turning it into bliss. Biting back a moan, you keep your breathing steady. Though, you feel your chest shatter entirely when he picks up his pace. Your fingernails start scratching at the varnish on the table, a bit of it getting stuck in them.

"Yes, prof—professor..." you groan, stuttering with his thrusts.

"Nuh-huh, for an obedient puppy like you, I'm your master," he slides his cock out, and rams back into you, letting it plunge deep, "what should you—should you call me, pup?"

"Master," you breathe out, exasperated. "Master, please go faster, fuck! Fuck me harder please, breed your little pup." You cry, genuinely letting tears streak down your cheeks; you were weak already, holding out till he would increase the rhythm of his merciless thrusts.

Something goes off in his head, his hips start snapping at an animalistic pace with your body thrashing against the wooden desk; his hands are all over you, touching you, caressing you, leaving his marks on you. Though, at a point he brings one of his hands to the curve of your back, while his other hand winds itself around your thigh. Seeming seconds drag on with his thrusts curt and sharp, his cock reaching deep in your cunt till you could feel it tauten in the pit of your stomach. Yunho could sense your walls clench around his cock, not liking it one bit—his thrusts start faltering, gradually coming to a halt.

Still buried deep in you, he leans over your back—inching close to your neck, he bites down harshly before whispering, "does my pup want to cum?"

You could discern the slyness in his voice, and you nod your head with your mouth agape, drool glistening down your lower lip and staining your chin. Bearing his size, tuning with his blunt thrusts, and the way his tip was abusing your sweet spot, it was all too much, sending you into a sensory overdrive. At this point, you had zero comprehensible thoughts in your mind except for the heinous acts you were weaving into your body: all of them being about your professor and his huge dick.

"Well, then my pup has to wait a little longer," he grunts close to your ear and then straightens himself up, "master isn't done with his pup yet."

"Can my pup wait a little longer?" he presses his hand down on your back, reluctantly making your walls clench around him.

You're left with no choice but to nod your head again, and it satisfies him; his gradually starts moving again, keeping his thrusts steady and slow. He lets you adjust to him again, and eventually increases his pace. Pulling and shoving himself into you, he starts bucking his hips into your thighs, his grip tightening till his knuckles turn white while you hold onto the edge of the table like your life depended on it. Your body oscillates to and fro, colliding and thumping with the wooden table with his every thrust. The sound of clothes crumpling, and the rattling of his belt buckle, makes your heart race harder in your chest.

You had never imagined you'd be caught in this situation; not that you didn't imagine or fantasise it, you didn't think it'd become a reality. Yeah, it's true that you had countless fantasises about your professor, one of them being fucked while you're bent over his desk—but the probability of him actually fucking you was one in a twenty, considering there were twenty female students in your class. Skin slapping against skin, his cock thrashing balls deep in your tight cunt, you were still mewling in your mind for more. The sensation was diabolical in a way, clustering your brain with unwanted thoughts—hell, you had lost it.

A known tightness tangles itself in your gut, your stomach cherishing the last bit of butterflies it felt before knowing you would flood down on his cock soon. Your senses drop, your stomach twists and knots, your heart runs a miles per hour because his thrusts were helping you chase your high. You were so sure he was going to let you take a break, let you ease out the tightness in your stomach; but to your unbridled surprise, he doesn't. His movements dither, slowing down till he comes to a stop again; he's still buried deep in you, and somehow that caused you more pain than his actual thrusts.

"Aww, my pup is too eager to get off," he mumbles, throwing his head back in pure bliss from your walls still clenched around him, but then he feels you loosen, and he starts pounding into you with a gentle tempo. "Not so soon. You're still getting punished."

He drags on for an hour or so, his thrusts stopping completely sometimes, his cock buried deep in your warmth—eventually he would pick up his pace and ram into your tight little cunt as if it was the last thing he wanted. You had been denied your orgasm a few times, counting it, you had been denied three times so far. Though that pleasure was turning into pain, your belly ached with every inch of strain his cock put on your cunt. Your stomach knots itself for the fourth time, your legs trembling and your yearning crossing your threshold to hold your orgasm in.

The familiarity only grows in your gut, your walls puckering around his cock to milk out his own orgasm; but he knows how to play it off well, he wasn't going to cum before you did. Pressing back into your thighs, he remains unmoving for a second before picking up his pace again, his cock plunges into the deeper void of your cunt, almost protruding the walls to your gut. You have lost your voice to make a sound, one thing—but the other thing was you weren't supposed to make a lot of noise. Swallowing your moans and grunts, you feel your high washing over; your walls tighten around his cock one last time before they're coming undone—releasing you juices all over his cock. Some of it squirts around as his cock still keeps plunging deep into you, a few drops stain his abdomen and get absorbed in his clothes, but he doesn't seem too bothered by it.

"My pup made a mess on my cock," he grumbles, closing his eyes shut as he helps you ease your cunt with a few of his concise and brief thrust. His thighs collide with yours, heat growing between your bodies and your skin slick from sweat and your orgasm. "Such a pretty pup, such a beautiful little baby..." he rambles on his own, incoherent and inaudible, but mostly it was him losing his mind over the trickling warmth of your arousal.

His thrusts become sloppy once he knows he's reaching his high; but he doesn't give out just yet. With a couple more longing and concise thrusts, he lets himself drive his cock deep into your warmth—he counts down the minutes with his ambling pokes till it becomes unbearable for him to hold out. Taking a deep breath and arching his back to let his cock plunge deep, he slides one of his hands on your lower back—pressing, pushing, digging his fingers and palm in your flesh, he releases himself in deep in you. With every thrust, he keeps pulling out till he completely slides out of you. He smirks at the sight his eyes behold, twinkling with a yearning no one knows, not even you; his load dribbles down your pussy, staining your skin in stark white shade, as some of it spurts on your inner thighs.

You're breathless, too fucked to understand anything and thus you couldn't register your surroundings quite well when he flips you over. Grabbing your shoulders, he pushes you down on the ground, having you kneel before him with his cock near your mouth. The veins on his cock were less bulged than before, but his shaft was coated in a thin layer of his cum and glints a bit with your juices.

"Clean me up, pup."

His order doesn't go unheard by you, and as the loyal little puppy you are to him, you hold on to the sides of his thighs and lean in to lick his cock off. At first, it's a weird concoction of saltiness and a little bit of sweetness, soon it fades to nothing. You lap your tongue around his shaft, over and under his tip till you've cleared everything off from his cock—you pull back, smiling dizzily because you were delighted to help him out. Half-lidded eyes trace a line up and you find him staring at down at you, his hand in the process to grab your jaw. Caressing your chin, he pulls you up on your feet and helps you sit on the desk before wrapping his arms around your waist to pull himself closer to you.

"Miss Lee," he whispers, "I'm sure the post-orgasm clarity is now sinking in both of our minds, but we certainly need to address the elephant in the room."

You lean forward to rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes shut for a moment, you take a deep breath in and relax your tensed muscles. "Professor Jeong...I've wanted this to happen for a long time."

"So, you have no regard for me losing my job, do you?" he teases, rubbing circles on your back to soothe you, "Lee Sherri, you really are a brat. Making me break my rules."

"What rules?" you grin, peeking up at him as your wrap your arms around his broad chest.

"I don't date my students," he murmurs, pecking your forehead.

"Who's suggesting you date me?" you chuckle, shaking your head, "we can be fuck buddies."

"Is that what you call it nowadays?" he laughs, heartily, pouting down at you as he continues, "we'll have to be really careful, Sherri. Can't have anyone knowing about us—"

Knock knock!

Your eyes go wide, your heart thumps in your chest and your lips start quivering in fear. On the other hand, Yunho is pretty tame, and he only offers you a reassuring smile.

"Straighten out your clothes and relax. It's no stranger, I've been expecting him actually," he mumbles, breaking apart from your embrace to pull his pants and briefs up.

Whilst he is buttoning his pants and buckling the belt, you too tug your panties up and hop off the desk. You try to smoothen out the creases on your skirt and blouse—your white lacy socks were stained with dust at the knees, but you didn't care about it. The clutter of papers on the desk remains as it is, neither of you bothered to organise it. Professor Jeong smiles at you warmly before heading to the door of the classroom, he unlocks the latch and pulls the doors inside to reveal another man with tall silhouette standing there.

Professor Song.

"Since when have you been locking your doors, Yun?" the latter teasingly mutters and chortles, stepping past his friend and entering the classroom which reeks of sweat and sex. He sniffs the air and along the lines his eyes land on you, "ah. So, you were having "one-on-one" with your student."

Professor Song wasn't a professor from your department, he was the heartthrob of the physics department, seemingly the kind who would definitely not have any sentiments towards his students or anyone younger to him for that matter. Clad in a plaid shirt and khakis, he too had a body worth breaking the laws for; his toned biceps bulged out of the sleeves he had rolled over to his elbows, his thick thighs (which you've fantasied riding on) were defined by his tight khakis, and hazel eyes were piercing through you with curiosity.

"Miss Lee and I were just discussing, weren't we, Miss Lee?" Yunho calls out from behind him, tugging down on the crotch of his pants for some apparent reason.

"Discussing what?"

You shift your weight on your feet, standing an inch away from the desk (where you were just railed by your professor) and you pull down on your skirt, not knowing why you felt the need to. You eye your tote bag fallen down on the floor, then at the mess of your binder on the table, and one thing becomes clear which is you and Professor Jeong did fuck on the table.

"I was chiding her for not completing her experimental write-ups, Min," Yunho adds, scratching the back of his neck as he comes to stand next to him. "Miss Lee, we'll have a proper discussion about your careless behaviour next time, perhaps tomorrow. Now, you may leave."

You nod, "ye—yes professor."

Hastily, you sprint out of the classroom after gathering your things and stuffing them in your bag in a haphazard way; meanwhile Mingi rolls his eyes at his friend and scoffs.

"Lie to someone else, Yun."

"Fuck you," he grumbles before a conceited smirk takes over his face.

"If you keep your trap shut, maybe we can share."

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