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yun9i · 5 months ago

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painkiller — xiao.

— xiao (genshin impact) x gn!reader synopsis: when he was at his worst, only you treated it best. cw: major character death, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, settles during around archon war, a terribly written fic from years ago that i reposted so this is not proofread | wc: 2.8k notes: a sad attempt at me trying to write pre-archon war, spare me! reuploading this from ao3 btw...

the birds started chirping in the air as you walked out of your humble home. clutching your bag to your chest, you kept your belongings safe. being an instrumentalist was a talent of yours growing up, and now here you are, one of liyue's few musicians. you walked to the transport and sat in with a fruit vendor who smiled at you.

walking to the mt. aocang with gifts in hand to give to morax, guizhong, and the cloud retainer, you hummed to the silence of the area. suddenly, a dash of wind brushed through your hair. you chuckled, knowing exactly who it was from.

"hey, xiao," xiao walked by your side and walked with you. "hey, (y/n)," you smiled at his presence. "are you invited as well?" you asked, grinning at xiao. "correct, in fact, they told me to come fetch you," xiao explained, looking up at the mountain. "so hold on tight," xiao abruptly said, holding your body and the bag you carried. "what—" you got cut off by the coldness of the wind. shutting your eyes closed, you gasped for air.

"(y/n)! xiao! you've arrived!" guizhong cheered, helping xiao with holding the food you brought for the adepti. "xiao, you can put them down now," morax reminded, looking over at the both of you. "right, my apologies," xiao let you sit on a chair nearby.

"it appears that they're frightened, did anything happen on the way here?" the cloud retainer asked, looking over at you. "i think it was the teleporting," morax suggested, earning a nod from xiao who rested on the tree above them.

"come on, dear. eat this," guizhong offered you a bite of mora meat. you happily ate a bite and smiled at the goddess. "thank you, lady guizhong." she smiled back at you. "can you at least warn them next time?" guizhong playfully scolded xiao, making everyone laugh. "of course, lady guizhong."

"thanks for walking me back, xiao," he hummed, acknowledging your thankfulness. "it's only natural for me to do, (y/n)," he responded, earning a light chuckle from you. he unknowingly smiled at you, enjoying your happiness. "well, thank you for the kind act, alatus," you smiled, waving him goodbye as you returned home.

as you walked away, xiao felt blood rush to his cheeks. he knew he wasn't new to the feeling. it happens a lot when you're around. clearing his throat, he walked back to guili plains. "it'd be impossible, stop thinking about it." xiao reminded himself, as he always did.

since mortals and immortals aren't supposed to fall in love.

"thank you for walking them back, xiao," guizhong smiled, finding him walking back to the area. "it's my duty to help," xiao stated, catching up to guizhong. "you know, i find it nice that you two go well with each other," xiao choked. "remember when you suddenly appeared when they were playing music?" xiao covered his face from embarrassment. "they screamed twice! they fell and thought you'd kill them," guizhong laughed.

"their life has gone haywire since they got involved with the adepti," xiao stated, guizhong agreeing. "but we're here to keep them safe, so we should be fine, right?" xiao hesitated before nodding. "and they're in good hands, too." guizhong smiled at xiao, seeing his cheeks glow a slight pink.

"no, stop. this isn't allowed," xiao cut himself off and shook his head. a mortal? with an adeptus? impossible. lives so far apart, dreams so different from each other. but then, only you give him the butterflies.

and only you do it best.

it was a busy morning a few days later. multiple people came around and prepared for a small event that guizhong initiated. many people walked around with smiles on their faces from excitement. however, you were pacing back and forth, nervous. it was a small event, but your thoughts got to the best of you.

"what if i fail? what if i make a mistake? what if i become a laughing stock? what if everyone brings up the fact that i failed today? what—" you shook your head before starting to nibble on your fingernails. you halted and stood in silence at one major thought. "what if xiao sees?!" you started pacing in a faster speed.

"you'll be fine, (y/n)," xiao interrupted, standing by the door. "oh my god, warning please! don't scare me like that," you yelped from shock. "oh, my apologies," xiao trailed off. "i'm pretty sure it was you who called, though…" xiao muttered under his breath.

"i'm so nervous i can't even focus anymore, i'm so scared something will go wrong and it'd be my fault, i—" you were interrupted by a warm embrace. "you'll do fine, trust me. i believe in you." you swore there was a certain warmth in his gaze where it usually was cold. you swore his voice sounded like honey when it was usually ice. you swore his smile shined where there was usually none. you were calm. you're okay.

because he's here.

"a-alright, i'll calm down. but can you practice with me for a bit? i wanna go over the song a few more times," xiao chuckled, nodding. he grabbed the messy notes sheet before listening to you play. god, how stunning you were.

you blinked a few times before hearing xiao's voice. "great job, you did well." you could jump to the moon from how ecstatic you felt. you smiled brighter than the sun that day. xiao widened his eyes as he fell into the sweetness of your laugh. he cleared his throat as he heard your partner come in signaling you to come out to perform.

"thanks, xiao. i'll be going now!" xiao chuckled before nodding, vanishing into thin air. you walked outside to see a crowd turning to your arrival. you chuckled, sitting on a chair as you prepared to start the song.

xiao sat on a tree close to the stage and watched you play perfectly. he hummed and sang along, having memorized the song from a while ago. and he wouldn't want to admit, but he memorized this song from hearing you singing it every once in a while.

play a song that you'd like, and he'll know every line.

sunset came, and the guili plains were still as lively as ever. you were happy with everyone around. the livelihood of the area was energizing. the people, the songs, the crowd, the lights. even xiao enjoyed it.

but maybe because it was you.

"xiao?" his thoughts got cut off as you approached him with almond tofu in hand. xiao accepted it with a nod and thanked you silently. both of you sat in a secluded area, sitting on a tree where it was a bit chilly. there was a cold wind that passed by, making you shiver and envelope your body in your arms. xiao noticed and handed you his plate.

"xiao?" xiao briefly smiled and vanished into thin air, leaving you confused. a few seconds later, xiao came back with a coat and a blanket in hand. "here," he said as he passed them to you. "thank you, xiao." you smiled as he helped you put on the coat. "the sun is setting," xiao pointed out, looking at the sun that faded under the tall mountains. "and yet the place is as lively as ever." you laughed, agreeing.

"i'll miss moments like these. the livelihood, the happiness, the scenery, everything," you said with a smile growing. xiao chuckled. "yeah, i agree, the scenery is great, i could stare at it for days," xiao said, looking at you. you chuckled, oblivious to his loving stare. "moments like these i wish i could stop time," you giggled, continuing your meal.

moments like these you cherish, you wish you could keep. xiao would definitely fulfill your wishes and he will at a snap of a finger.

too bad he couldn't.

the archon war began. seeing deities take each other down for the sake of divinity was not something you would see daily. it was frightening. but you knew you'd be safe, of course you would be.

you just didn't expect everyone else not to.

havria's surge of power almost salinified everyone who remained. you ran as fast as you could, away from there. sal terrae was the last thing havria had for her people, and now here she was, slain by the first and last king of her people. "xiao, xiao, xiao, xiao," you called for xiao multiple times, sobs and ragged breaths in between. the fear of death grew bigger as you ran with the last few people who survived and ran with you.

after a few seconds, xiao appeared and helped everyone out of the area. xiao carried you out of the area while you cried in his warm embrace. "it's okay, (y/n). you're safe now," xiao reassured you, stroking your head with his warm hands. from orders of guizhong and morax, he guided everyone left to guili plains to stay safe. once you arrived at guili plains, you were the one who enlightened the two gods of the death of their fellow god.

"well that's…saddening…" morax responded, looking down in defeat. everyone stood in silence to honor havria's legacy until you heard screams outside. "damnit," morax cursed, running outside to protect the city. "everyone, take cover!" guizhong shouted, pulling you over to protect you. "lady guizhong, let me fight," you pleaded, pulling out the spear from thin air. "but (y/n)—" you cut her off and ran outside.

you took a deep breath before entering the battle. having learned a thing or two from xiao, you tried to help and defend yourself from enemies nearby. there was bloodshed everywhere. you let go of the fear and hoped for the best.

despite how strong everyone was, it wasn't enough to save everyone. the city that once stood tall under morax and guizhong's supervision crumbled to the ground. the entire war within the area eventually killed and/or harmed other people.

including you.

you coughed out blood as you felt a pole pierce through your abdomen. you turned to see someone grinning in victory. you yelped as you weakly raised your spear and pierced it through his body. "(y-y/n)!" you heard from the side, your vision getting hazy. "xiao…" you muttered as you slowly walked to the yaksha with most of your already fleeing strength.

the fear xiao had in his eyes when he saw you dying in his warm arms, from a random pole from a random stranger. it hurt.

morax turned to xiao and found him running to your dying body. he saw the random man laughing in victory and felt anger boil inside of him. he smashed his body with a gigantic meteor. he felt anger due to the fact that this moron destroyed the life of a human he thought was family to him because of how different you treated him.

"wishing you all the best, (y/n)." morax muttered, attending to the other enemies. xiao turned to morax and cried. "morax—" xiao started, only to be disrupted. "get everyone to safety!" he only shouted, pushing xiao away. xiao nodded, carrying you and gathering everyone and fleeing to mt. tianheng with the other people to keep them safe from further danger.

"…x-xiao—" you were interrupted by a cough accompanied by blood. xiao started worrying and a few tears escaped his eyes. "(y/n), no. not now, we're almost there, i swear." you laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "why are you laughing? you're literally dying," xiao sobbed, still upset at how lightly you were treating this situation.

"come on, xiao. lighten up a bit, it's not like i'm disappearing forever," you chuckled. "you're not immortal like i am, (y/n). please, let's just go—". "xiao, please…" you begged, slightly crying. "you're hurt, we need to go—". "xiao…" you called out.

"(y/n), please! you're dying! why do you think i am doing this? we need to get you healed!" xiao cried, giving in to his heart. breathing in a lot deeper than most breaths you've taken, you smiled. "xiao, you kill the pain. better than anyone or anything else in the world"

"you're my painkiller," you touch his cheek with your almost cold hands. "so it doesn't hurt." xiao started crying, sobbing as some people stopped by. "(y/n), please i'm begging you—". "xiao, please. go on, bringing me will only risk the others' lives" you responded. "but—"

"xiao." you called, stopping him. he cried for a few minutes.

"i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you—" xiao kept chanting as he carried your body and ran for his life, everyone doing the same. "xiao, i swear to the archons—" you were cut off by xiao. "just shut up and stay awake." xiao shouted, running faster than light. "wow, rude." you joked. "this is not the time to be joking, (y/n). you're literally dying." xiao responded, angered. "so?" you retorted. xiao halted, slowing down for a bit.

"…i love you." he muttered, weak in volume, but loud in your heart. "if there were a word better than love, i'd use it. i just realized how special you are to me. you make me feel things that i don't with others. you give me emotions to feel. you give me motivation to do things. you give me what i need when i need it. you make the pain disappear."

with your mouth left open from shock, you ignored the pain and the blood seeping out of your clothing. "you're my painkiller," he muttered. "and only you kill it the best." you smiled, your heart fluttering. silence grew in between the both of you until you spoke.

"hey xiao, can we walk like we usually do? pretend that i'm not dying." you muttered, gripping onto his clothing. xiao let out a sigh, nodding as he slowed down on the path to the area they evacuated to. xiao walked, step by step, listening to you ramble about random things. he suddenly started sobbing in silence.

"xiao, you know i love you, right?" xiao nodded, hearing the silence in your voice. "well, i love you," he chuckled. "thank you for everything," tears started running down his face. "thanks for killing the pain," he smiled, for you. "i'll see you soon."

he felt how your arms went limp. he felt how the silence replaced your voice. he felt how cold your skin was.

you were dead.

he cried, for an hour. he came down to where liyue harbor was established. everyone saw how xiao carried your dead body on his back, the same feeling of death reflected on his face. no one could decipher his feelings.

anger that he couldn’t save you? sadness from the fact that he lost you? grief from your death? happiness for your peaceful passing?

morax arrived at the area after a while, carrying guizhong's hair clip. xiao and morax looked at each other and sighed. everyone who died in the battle was buried in a certain area. xiao sighed, standing up. a blank expression adorned his face.

maybe this time, no one can help him.

"why do we always run errands for people?" paimon asked, annoyed. "oh come on, it's zhongli. i'm sure this isn't anything that big of a deal." lumine replied, laughing. lumine, while travelling with paimon, came to give xiao a box delivered from zhongli. none of the two knew what was in the box.

"xiao~" paimon called, looking for him where zhongli told them to go. "paimon? traveler? what are you both doing here?" xiao questioned, standing up from the rock. "zhongli told us to give you these," lumine offered a box that zhongli had prepared. xiao opened the box to qingxin painkillers and violetgrass on a hair clip. he smiled, thinking of you.

"woah, seeing xiao smile is so rare!" paimon said, peeking at the box. lumine and paimon didn't really question the hairclip, despite it being unnatural for xiao. "painkillers? are you sick?" lumine asked, concerned. xiao shook his head. "it's nothing of your concern," xiao answered, holding the box close to his chest. "let us walk you to the inn! we have to talk to verr about a commission anyways!" paimon suggested.

"so, xiao," paimon started, dragging out the syllables in calling his name. xiao hummed in response. "what's that hairpin for?" paimon asked. xiao smiled, looking at the pink skies. "someone special," he responded, looking back at the two with a small smile.

"woah, they must be that special if you're smiling, huh?" paimon blabbered. xiao chuckled, nodding. "they're an old friend who i cherished a lot," xiao stated. "ooh, who are they?" lumine chirped in, asking.

"they're my painkiller."

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