yoursatanboyfriend

[yoursatanboyfriend]

[yoursatanboyfriend]

mr j i want to hold your face ijn my hands

Can you do GENTLY!?

[yoursatanboyfriend]

*hears an angry voice* *dissociates*

[yoursatanboyfriend]

airport security: sir please empty your pockets

me: ok *begins pulling out hundreds of knives*

airport security: is that all sir

me: *continues to pull out knives*

airport security: sir

[yoursatanboyfriend]

[yoursatanboyfriend]

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[yoursatanboyfriend]

a summary of Bill’s social life

[yoursatanboyfriend]

I get asked where tf it is on my blog so here.

[yoursatanboyfriend]

[yoursatanboyfriend]

Abusive parents not only lie to their children a lot, but the entire foundation of their relationship with children is based on lies.

They lie about who they are. They lie about who the children are. They tell lies about what the world is like. They lie about what you’re responsible for, and what you have no control over. They lie to make you feel guilty. They lie about their feelings. They lie about their intentions. They lie about what you deserved. They lie about what happened. They lie about what they said. They lie about what others said. They lie about how they think and act and most of the words coming out of their mouths are manipulative lies. Ones that will make you feel like they’re in the absolute right to do whatever they feel like doing, like they have the right to dictate your identity, the right to punish you, the right to “show you your place”. They lie about how much they’re capable of, they lie about what hurts and doesn’t hurt them, they lie about how much they care, and they lie about loving you.

Being raised in abusive environment means having all of your perceptions based on a tangle of lies, and only painstakingly unwrapping every single one thruout your whole life will help you gain more proper idea of what is true and what isn’t, but abusive parents make even uncovering the truth ultimately terrifying, because they make it seem like if what they’re saying to you is a lie, then the truth must be much, much worse. Well it isn’t. Their lies are made to get you where they want you. To make your behaviour convenient and useful to them. To create an asset out of you. Out of a human being.

Abusive parents wont ever forgive if their child lies to them. While they lie to them their entire life, about everything. They still expect the truth. They still expect you make it easier for them to read you, to manipulate you, to know where to push you and what lie to tell to get you to obey, to bow down and to admit that you’re wrong, you’re guilty, and you’ll do as they say. This isn’t parenting. This is brainwashing.

[yoursatanboyfriend]

…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’

Friedrich Nietzsche (via twilightmonstrosity)

[yoursatanboyfriend]

Out of everything I’ve experienced, pain of abandonment hurts the worst. Knowing that a person I loved, protected, needed and embraced never saw anything of value in me breaks me like nothing else does.

you didn’t even see a human being when you were looking at me. (via furiousgoldfish)

[yoursatanboyfriend]

cats be like

[yoursatanboyfriend]

signs you’re recovering from long term abuse:

bursts of rage, or continuous rage at what was done to you

desire to overpower, restrain, chain up, torture or murder your abuser

clarity and full belief in your perception, complete rejection of abuser’s point of view

no longer caring what the abuser thinks of you, knowing their opinion is worthless and filled with lies

cutting off abusers easily as soon as you notice they’re toxic to you

willingness to do whatever it takes to fight for your life

rage at anyone who would cause any further abuse to you

strong conviction that hurting you is evil, and that anyone who does hurt you should be villified for it

full belief that anyone who hurts you is not to be excused for their actions, not given further trust, and that they should pay for it

valuing your freedom of movement, freedom of mind, safety of resources and ability to survive more than any kind of uncertain hopes, promises or validation

unwillingness to depend on someone’s view of you, opinion of you, or affection towards you, as it could change at any second and causes instability and anxiety

valuing stability more than highs and lows

ability to detect when someone is trying to confuse you, divert your point, make you look bad with the intention of punishing or controlling you, silence you or make themselves superior to you, and reacting with rage

avalanche of rage at any attempt to gaslight you, not willing for one second to doubt your own memory, being completely clear that anyone who pretends they didn’t do and say things they did is lying

unwillingness to consider yourself less valuable or important than other humans, and getting angry whenever you’re treated in such manner

refusing to do as you’re told, even if it makes people angry, knowing that what you want to do is more important than what anyone else wants from you

owning your life for yourself and knowing nobody else has any right to it

anger at everyone who could have helped you while you were abused and didn’t, anger at anyone who sided with your abusers, anger at system which allowed for you to be abused for so long, anger at helplessness to change it

recognition of your situation and full awareness you were helpless during abuse, and that none of it is remotely your fault

unwillingness to pretend and act in social situations

unwillingness abandon your morals, feelings, opinions and personality for the sake of pretend friendships and pretend relationships, only seeking real connections that don’t require you to make yourself socially acceptable

distrust in anyone who you notice is demanding authority, control, abuse and exploitation of another’s life, recognizing abusers and those who abuse the power of their social or economic standing and being actively disgusted by them

no delusions about people “only wanting the best for you” or “only wanting to help” while they’re hurting you, rejecting all harmful and useless advice and minimization of your pain

[yoursatanboyfriend]

the real Bill Cipher possessing TNP!Bill

[yoursatanboyfriend]