your-average-teenage-mess

[your-average-teenage-mess]

So back when I was in elementary school, I started writing an Isekai story with my friend. We rewrote it a few times since, but all those times, I was the one writing the scenes from the POV of the character getting isekaied. They were meant to be a fantasy nerd, basically- they always dreamed of having a beautiful, sparkling fantasy life. Not even going on adventures or fighting dragons, just moving in and opening a potion shop together with the cute sorcerer in the party. Why would it matter if they live basically the same life but magic? Because my little child brain viewed fantasy as an escape from the general sense of agony that was tied to being alive in this world. It doesn't matter what actually HAPPENS in your life, if you managed to move to a world with dragons in it, you have destroyed the symbol that you tied to your suffering, and instead focused on the symbol of adventure and excitement, and even if none of it actually happened in the story, the corresponding emotions need to arise.

And I remember that back then, I saw stories that explored the theme of "you got everything you wanted and it still doesn't magically make you happy", and I got ANGRY. Because why can't it work like that? Isn't that the whole point of wishes? And so when I wrote the scene of the character opening their eyes for the first time in the magic world, I wrote a whole page of description of how even though they've also read all those stories, it turned out to be a dirty lie, it didn't make them feel hollow at all, the very act of being in the magic world did make them happy, it made them ecstatic, and they were so, so relieved to watch as it simply washed away their pain and sense of alienation and not belonging once they got to simply abandon the thing that symbolized it, rather than actually changing their life in a way that would effect that kind of change. It was a fantasy of how I wanted the human mind to work, basically.

So I'm starting to think revenge fantasies might be a bit like that-

[your-average-teenage-mess]

I'm starting to think I have a perpetrator complex. I come into every situation thinking, "how can I twist it to make it so that I'm a horrible person who deserves no forgiveness and to be shunned out of society?"

[your-average-teenage-mess]

No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

[your-average-teenage-mess]

Okay so I came over this thinking it was gonna feel uncomfortable and weird and I was gonna hate it. But I somehow ended up laughing my ass off for three not-straight minutes at this musical list of homophobic slurs ranging from the 1800s to this day read by an ai voice. It's amazing.

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[your-average-teenage-mess]

[your-average-teenage-mess]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[your-average-teenage-mess]

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

[your-average-teenage-mess]

Does anyone have an oc that works for such a story and they'd want to donate to the cause?

Okay, so I saw this video getting recommended to me by YouTube, and before I remembered what suicide squad (the actual movie) is about, my brain just casually assumed there's gotta be a connection between the picture in the thumbnail and the word "suicide" in the name. But after I DID remember what the movie was actually about, I figured that having a movie called "suicide squad" which is about five suicidal people who met each other and became friends at a psych ward, and the personal journeys of each of them and how they affected one another, is actually a really really good idea.

The poster is just five hands in psych-ward-bracelets doing a collective high five.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

You can only understand what the fuck is going on in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde if you understand Dr. Jekyll is gay and you can only understand Dr. Jekyll is gay if you've read an unbelievable amount of late Victorian literature, and you can only read an unbelievable amount of late Victorian literature if there's something wrong with you which is why I think it's wildly underrated as one of the earliest queer horror texts.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

listen, i know he's fighting the battles of victorian repression, substance abuse, and class roles, but have you ever considered that he's also my baby girl and i love him very much? sure, i wouldn't pass up the opportunity to bash him over the head with a comically large hammer too, but that's neither here nor there 💚🧪

[your-average-teenage-mess]

Okay, can we take a minute to talk about how gay Dr. Henry Jekyll is? Like seriously this man literally created an entire alter ego by some mad science just because of some 'dark urges' he felt, that he refused to elaborate on even in his own 'let me tell you everything before I die' note to John. That is peak queer behavior for the 1800's.

Even if he wasn't his staff probably thought he was. Just put yourself in their shoes. Your master has this secret male friend that comes at all hours of the night, only has a key to the back door and at least once slept in the same bed as the doctor before sneaking out said back door in the early morning. And you were told to obey him and he often comes over by the back door when the doctor is 'away' even though you know damn well he went to his cabinet, reachable by the back door, and didn't say anything about leaving. That is so queer coded behavior. Like baby doll, doctor, you dumb dumb scientific genius you're making it so easy to call you out.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

*sigh*

Well, good thing I haven't been at a public space with other people other than my gym in months, since I literally cannot physically stand to wear a mask for more than four seconds without taking it off, and that's why I've been having to take mood stabilizers since the beginning of the fucking decade. Have been planning to keep getting wasted on my own at the empty corner of the park every other day. Thanks for reminding me why to never interact with other people.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

I hate Tumblr and everything about the culture it created. And that IS all I will say on the subject

[your-average-teenage-mess]

The Solution of Susan

“I’ve just lost my entire family in a horrible accident,” said Susan Pevensie.

“I too,” said the old man. “But you’re so young.”

“I’m older than I look.”

“I too,” said the old man, with a twinkle in his eye. “Perhaps you should call me grandfather.” And when his old, wooden box was bigger on the inside Susan wasn’t even surprised.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

"sigma" is just the right wing version of what "bi vibes" means over here. I will not elaborate further