yoru-old-drafts

[yoru-old-drafts]

Rent a ghost

RING sounded the shop's bell as a mother and a child walked in.

"Hi, we'd like to rent a ghost?" The woman spoke carefully as she examined the state of the shop. Unlike its name, 'rent a ghost' wasn't a very eerie shop, instead it looked like any regular shop would be.

A lock of blonde hair appeared behind a door frame. "Ah just a minute, will be there in a jifty." He called as he rearranged his desk. "I'm Nathaniel, How may I help you?" The lady rubs her elbow as she quivered.

"One ghost for rent please, a strong one." She paused. "One that has died from suicide." She added.

"Wow that's very specific ma'am, what shall I address you as?"

"Sc- Crimson." She stuttered as Nathaniel clicked his tongue.

"Ma'am before we can allow you to run this programme, we'll have to do some check up on you." Nathaniel wavers as he picks out a candy for the child before him. "Cute kid, what's her name?" He asked but Ms. Crimson did not answer, instead she continued to press about getting the job done. "First, your health. Give me your hands."

The two held hands before Nathaniel called out for his subordinate: Mika. Mika skipped across the room and held Crimson's hands. "Hmmm what's this? I don't understand, I've never seen anything like this before." Mika claimed as he placed a pinky finger on his lip.

Mika and Nathaniel whispered to each other before handing the results to Ms. Crimson. "Our data could not infer any information about your background...but because you look pretty tired, we'll give you our most strongest and safe ghost for rent."

"Did it die from sui

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Notes to myself:

1. If you're writing slice of life, write in a comedic way.

2. If you're going for world building, make it strange enough to keep the reader curious- but not confused.

3. Be yourself, go insane. Make it messed up if you need to. That's who you are, embrace it.

[yoru-old-drafts]

Troubleshooting Your Plot

                Plots are such complicated things that often when something doesn’t work, we can tell that it’s falling apart, but we can’t really tell where. I’ve spent many hours picking apart my plots and looking for the loose thread, so here’s some ways I’ve noticed plots most commonly go wrong.

The character transformation isn’t believable

Very likely whenever an arc goes wrong it’s not because of the circumstances the character went through, it’s because the character didn’t have enough agency. If your characters are never forced to make tough decisions, they’re also never forced to change. I’d go back to their goal and motivation and look through your plot to see which ways they are actively choosing it again and again.

2. It feels rushed

Plots that meander or feel rushed are usually not due to the plot itself, but pacing issues within it. Before you touch your outline, look into your scenes and see where you could be adding more description. Are you using all five senses? And if you are, are you getting into your character’s head? Sometimes all a rushed scene needs is a moment of reflection, a little “check-in” with your protagonist.

                Look through your work and mark down what the pacing of each scene should be. Fast-paced action scenes should have shorter paragraphs and less reflection than say a deep discussion between two characters.

3. It’s too short!?

When it’s not an issue with pacing the problem might be with the scope. Is the transformation you’re writing large enough for the word count you were expecting? Lord of the Rings couldn’t have been written in a novella, and an episode of Spongebob couldn’t have been turned into a novel. Consider the stakes of your story—if it’s too short, the inciting incident might not have turned the world upside down enough.

4. The character dynamics aren’t coming together

Ah the friends that just don’t seem to want to be friends, the group that’s constantly falling apart, the attractive strangers who stay strangers. Characters are really good at ruining our plans. In cases like these, it often comes back to the goals and motivations of every character involved. When groups don’t come together maybe not all of them have a reason to want to be there—how will it help each one of them achieve their goal?

                Good luck!

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The girl who paused time

"Oh no oh no oh no!" Cried Amey as she tossed her handbag over her shoulder and sprinted out of her front door. "I'm late! I'm fucking late! Again!" Her mother peered through the window crack as she watched her daughter run across the neighborhood. A small crease forms against the mother's cheeks- a smile, as she returns back to her gardening.

Amey has lost her breath from all the running. When she reached a big grey building, she reached out for the door handle before her and opens the door. However a few contents began crashing down on her. When she realised it, there was a woman in her arms- clearly crying. The sobbing lady brushed a letter into Amey's side pocket as she jolted into a sprint and escaped.

"What's wrong with her ?" She questioned but pondered no further as a big round man appeared before her and scooped her up.

"What are you doing? You were supposed to be here at 9!" He growled, leading me across the company lobby- even though I already knew my way around the company. Amey tried looking for an excuse for her behaviour but figured that 'over sleeping' is the only excuse high-school teachers would allow to slide.

The entire day has passed by now, the sun hid midway behind the lands of the west. Amey can finally go home for the day. "I am going to quit one day and start my own café! I'll be more happier than working here..." She thought as she packed up. The thought had wandered across Amey's mind for ages now- it is her 6th year working here too. She had received wonderful paychecks and bought a beautiful house for her parents, her life has been pretty much a decent one. Yet something still felt missing. Deep down, Amey knew that this life wasn't the treasure found at the end of the rainbow.

As Amey left the company lobby, she realised something weird amongst the sky. The rain has stopped- or should I say paused. Crystal droplets that hovered shimmered like diamonds across the night sky. To her left was a woman drenched in rain, but unmoving. Amey pinched herself and realised she wasn't dreaming, this was all real.

Amey hopped into one of the expensive cafés and took a peek at a few of their signature cakes. She raised one of them up to a worker's eyes, confirmed that time had indeed paused as she took a bite into the scrumptious cake she never had the heart to pay for. Satisfied, she took another cake and sunk her teeth into it. "This is the life. Food is the best!" She mumbled but with the pastries in her mouth she only managed to make a "mmhm hmm mhm" sound.

Amey skipped through shops and began shoplifting without even realising it. By the time she reached a dress store, she took a look into the mirror and noticed how nothing has changed. Throughout the past 6 years, she realised how everything was too smooth, too peaceful. Amey needed some wreckage, some fun. She needed some more spice.

She walked into a bar and grabbed one of their finest drinks and began chugging it down. "This is the life" she yelled before releasing a burp. She noticed one of the ladies that danced on one of the table tops. Still drunk, she pushed the lady off the table and covered whatever revealing parts of her body there were. "You're far too young to be strippin-" hic "y-you should treasure" hic "your life...you only live once-" she stopped and realised that the one she pinned down was none other than Amey herself. In fact everyone was Amey. Amey stammered across the room, confused with an empty bottle in her hand. She threw the bottle against one of the Amey's head, but instead of blood spilling out, it's skin cracked before degenerating into ashes. Afraid, she began to knock over all the Ameys, each of them turning into dust. She began to scream in confusion until she vomitted her drink. She reached into her side pocket for a tissue and and that is when she realised a note had been planted there.

The note read: "There shall only be one", her lips curled as she looked outside the bar. Everyone in Summervale were Ameys. "If I want to see the sunrise again, there shall only be one Amey...right?" She thought to herself as she picked up a metal hook. "Let's fucking do this."

Before she realised, she had smashed every Amey in Summervale, the only ones left were the ones in the expensive café she visited earlier. She staggered in once more, ready to pounce at one of the Ameys but stopped at the one that looked into her eyes with a smile on her face and a slice of mulberry cake in her hand. "There can only be one Amey..." She repeated to herself. Then she pointed the hook towards her own stomach. "If I kill myself, will Amey own a café like she always wanted?" She asked herself.

Amey decided to spare the café owner and punctured herself with the hook before turning to ashes.

Once again, the rain continued to fall and time continued to roll. Amey was no longer a business woman that earned decent paychecks, rather she was now café owner that sold mouth watering cakes. It was like Amey had followed her dreams all this while, yet with a new fate came new dreams. This Amey began to envision herself as a bar owner. "Oh how wonderful it would be to own an exquisite bar instead of this old café. A woman sobbing entered the café doors and reached towards Amey's side pocket.

Here we go again.

[yoru-old-drafts]

Art by ゆきち

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