I only have one kidney and I'm not afraid to use it!
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Your gender is now the first randomized wikipedia article you get. No rerolls.
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When asked about the government tracking pregnancies/periods, JD Vance never answered. He avoided answering by talking about "upholding family values" instead 🤗
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I just wanted to put it out there that I would die for Pesto the Penguin
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"He got a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and strapped it to the roof of their minivan for a five-hour drive home.
'Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car...We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day-to-day stuff for us.'"
I'm sorry but what the actual living fuck? Why is this the funniest but most unhinged thing I've ever read?
#us politics#robert f kennedy jr#unhinged#but funny af#and he wanted to be president#not to mention the sex scandal he has going on rn#oh and the bear thing
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I'm sorry, but why does he look like Gordon Ramsay?
#red hulk#marvel#harrison ford#the avengers#gordon ramsay#marvel spoilers#red hulk spoilers#captain america#captain america brave new world
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Me: *strapped to a chair in a cold interrogation room with a middle aged man pacing back and forth*
Him: *projects a picture of Sam and Frodo on to the wall* What is their relationship?
Me: Their ship is valid and very cute, but we should also consider the idea that their admiration and respect for one another is a deep, platonic bond. Love doesn't always have to be romantic, and it is important for men to be able to express their platonic care for one another in a way that toxic masculinity doesn't currently allow.
Him: Okay *projects a picture of Legolas and Gimli* what's their relatio-
Me: They're fucking.
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Ope, it's about that time of year where I binge all the Lord of the Rings movies and then hyperfixate on them for a while 😅
#lord of the rings#i almost pushed play to watch the extended version of two towers at 11:30pm when i should go to bed because my infant will be up to eat soon#frodo baggins#lotr#lotr movies#lotr books#samwise gamgee
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Someday, but (sadly) not today.
#but i'm really scared for the future and what this could cause#crab rave#has this been done yet#oof#100% a joke#so don't come for me
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