yelyahwillisiams

[yelyahwillisiams]

very fucked up that you can try insanely hard your whole life to make all the right choices and yet you can’t escape bad outcomes. like what the flip

[yelyahwillisiams]

can you all forget everything you know about me pls I really want to start again but be cooler this time.

[yelyahwillisiams]

i ran 80,000 simulations and we were soulmates in each and every one of them

[yelyahwillisiams]

My dad has bees. Today, I went to his house and he showed me all the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off a 5-gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.

I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.

Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.

We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.

When it was time for me to leave, we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.

Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.

Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.

We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.

Bee kind always.

[yelyahwillisiams]

been crying, writing, crying for the last 41 days.

How are you & Jan Welkis Sawyer?

edit:

it’s 18 Oct and i’m just seeing this now. this was a scheduled post i did last year before we were even official, i think.

to answer you, 2023 me, our toothbrushes now share the same cabinet, my most prized possession ‘tomoya-mug’ now sits in his (our) kitchen, perpetually a passenger princess now instead of a public transport princess and my SG number expired on my iMessage and FaceTime..

on a more sad note, i still look below our bed hoping to see timber sleeping soundly in his bed (or right beside it) but of course he’s not there. usually i’d see my mom in the living room watching netflix but it’s just Jan’s dad now. my brother would come into my room randomly and talk to me about anything or simply just checking up on me and now that’s just something for me to remember and miss.

[yelyahwillisiams]

disgustingly in love

[yelyahwillisiams]

i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age

[yelyahwillisiams]

How are you & Jan Welkis Sawyer?

edit:

it’s 18 Oct and i’m just seeing this now. this was a scheduled post i did last year before we were even official, i think.

to answer you, 2023 me, our toothbrushes now share the same cabinet, my most prized possession ‘tomoya-mug’ now sits in his (our) kitchen, perpetually a passenger princess now instead of a public transport princess and my SG number expired on my iMessage and FaceTime..

on a more sad note, i still look below our bed hoping to see timber sleeping soundly in his bed (or right beside it) but of course he’s not there. usually i’d see my mom in the living room watching netflix but it’s just Jan’s dad now. my brother would come into my room randomly and talk to me about anything or simply just checking up on me and now that’s just something for me to remember and miss.

[yelyahwillisiams]

as much as i would love to let everything stay the same, i would also hate it. i’ve been so lost for so long and finally, i’m sure about one thing and that is my life with Jan in it.

i’ll miss everything as i always have. but i can live with that and so will everyone else.

finally following my heart, wish me luck x

[yelyahwillisiams]

eras tour on film ✨

[yelyahwillisiams]

lindsey on ig stories today:

“if i owe you a reply imagine what i owe myself”

exactly.

i can’t even show up for myself why do i beat myself up for not showing up for other people. i try to give myself a little bit more grace now and love in a capacity i can afford.

[yelyahwillisiams]

i can’t even show up for myself why do i beat myself up for not showing up for other people. i try to give myself a little bit more grace now and love in a capacity i can afford.

[yelyahwillisiams]

me rn as i prepare to embark on my american journey

girl help i am anxious and out of my comfort zone but i want to push through it and see what lies in the discomfort zone

[yelyahwillisiams]

“your back beneath the sun, wishing i could write my name on it” is perhaps one of taylor’s most underrated lyrics. it’s so simple but so evocative, so desperate but also kind of horny. i love you august, song of all time!!!!

[yelyahwillisiams]

i think my little puppy from ten years ago, jimbo, remembers i took care of him first. he’s also our last dog to have met whitey and spot.

part of me wants to believe jimbo’s letting me know they missed me too.

[yelyahwillisiams]

always receiving an abundance of grace for my little wrecked soul 🌧️ ⛅️

thank You.

[yelyahwillisiams]

summers like. you will feel a loneliness so profound youll fear it has no end but also sometimes God will place their cooling hand on yr forehead & you will feel held for the first time