yelloe-melloe

[yelloe-melloe]

i hate it when girls r like “haha i love you so much” and “you stole my heart lol”. DO YOU LIKE ME OR NOT?????

[yelloe-melloe]

i want to be able to eat without feeling bad but also i know i should feel bad so i can lose weight and i also know i’m not trying hard enough to lose weight and all i do is complain and eat and feel guilty

[yelloe-melloe]

apparently concubines aren’t old timey prostitutes damn i was rly excited bc some emperor was so in love w his concubine he forgot to rule and i was thinking this badass prostitute had pussy that fucking POPPED

[yelloe-melloe]

day 34 of being away from my friends

i had the same conversation with a single npc four times bc she looked like a friend

[yelloe-melloe]

coulde,, sombodie held my hamds in theires,, softe

[yelloe-melloe]

imagine a pillow

that was shaped like this. you would be able to flip your pillow over to the cold side 60 times.

[yelloe-melloe]

:(( i am in another country!

pros:

-i’m in another country

cons:

-distant relatives r asking my gay ass if i have a boyfriend

-can’t reply or do anything online

-there are screaming bugs in trees

-i miss my dog

[yelloe-melloe]

my seven year old sister and her friend:

“i can say poop and pee and diarrhea”

“well i can say throw up and poop in your pants”

“ew!”

“and i can also say worms in your mouth”

“well there’s poop in your butthole”

“diarrhea is a type of poop!”

[yelloe-melloe]

family quirks: all of us throw up a lot

[yelloe-melloe]

minty facemask! makes me feel like a toothbrush :)

[yelloe-melloe]

day 23 of being away from my friends:

all the crack in my system is gone. not once have i had the urge to pee.

[yelloe-melloe]

time to completely destroy myself for two weeks and cut off all relationships that i will be unable to rebuild later!

[yelloe-melloe]

i’ve decided i’m gonna perpetually clench my ass cheeks in order to 1. have an ass so ripped a single clap would devastate and 2. to lose weight and make myself suffer because i hate myself

[yelloe-melloe]

me talking about homosexuality in front of friends: haha 🅖🅐🅨 GAY ɠαყ g a y g a y

me talking about homosexuality in front of family: ᵍᵃʸ

[yelloe-melloe]

why is the roober so mean >:0 my roober is domesticated and cleans my house ;( like a good robot

robber: hey give me all ur money

me: how about i instead buy that gun off of u for all my money

robber: ok

robber:oh shit now ur gonna rob all ur money back

me:no im not a dick who robs people

roober: that hurt way more than any bullet would

[yelloe-melloe]

me regularly: 🤭😐😣😢😔

me after giving my sims a pride flag: 🥳🥰💅👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[yelloe-melloe]

story

this is probably not funny but whatever

my friend recently told me to ask out this girl that i used to like bc she’s “looking for a girlfriend”. sure, ok.

“but why can’t she just look for one herself”

“she’s a bottom”

oh.