yavsehachoo

[yavsehachoo]

There are good people left in this world...and one of them is my husband

So,

it’s been around 7 years? since I last wrote on here. Since then MANY things have happened. But what I want to type about right now is something that I am thinking about, and that is...

well, I got married last year, and right now I am sitting right across from my husband, with us both on laptops. I am just thinking about how I married the kindest hearted man. You know why? Because he doesn’t just live in his own bubble, giving everything he can to his friends and family in relationships. He also is always thinking about everyone around him. For example, here’s a story:

When we lived at the place we lived at previously, there was a homeless man with a sign that said “I’m hungry anything helps” right near a street light, and my husband couldn’t help but make sure this poor man got fed. So we went to the local sandwich shop, got him a full meal with chips and a drink, drove back for another 10 minutes or so and gave this guy a whole meal. He was very grateful and the first thing he did was sit down and eat. I was so proud of him for being such a great person and putting himself in someone else's shoes and helping them out

Here is another story, although maybe not as touching, but still shows how very thoughtful he is and can be. We were at a coffee shop once and a larger table became available for us to sit at. He noticed 3 people with alot of paper that needed the table more, and instead of us sitting there, he went and told the other people that the larger table was ready.

Because that’s the kind of amazing man that I married, somebody who thinks about others, not just about him and his friends, and trust me he would do just about ANYTHING for his friends. 

I really try to live to be a good person, but he teaches me every day what it means to be a considerate and kind person. And wow, I’m just so lucky. I hope you all find somebody as wonderful as him someday.

[yavsehachoo]

So

I had a talk and I realized that I give so much in my relationships and this is what my mom has been talking to me about. I just give everything I have, and nobody will ever give as much as I do, and I’m over it. I will never expect anything out of anybody. I can never count on anybody to do as good of a job at something as I do for myself. Nobody will ever help me out as much as I try to help them out. I will never be anybody’s priority, at least not to the extent that I make them my priority. People will never appreciate me and all that I have done for them. I have to give up on the dream that I will ever be as important to them as they are to me. I literally only have faith in my parents, my dog and myself, and my dog is literally not housebroken and is generally crazy, so that give you an idea of how I feel about it all.

[yavsehachoo]

Hey there people in the outside abyss.

I have heard that I’m this super social being that never runs out of things to say, but I don’t think I can go very far with this typing out my thoughts thing. Maybe I can. Whichever, I highly doubt that anybody would pay attention anyways.  

I want to talk about stuff without being too specific (hopefully), so as to not offend (hopefully I won’t, but if I do, who cares? I can’t help these things).

Topic #1 No Topic is EVER Safe

Having existed for a long time outside the realm of childhood (it’s tough in the real world, guys!), I have learned that no topic of conversation is ever safe. By this, I mean that all topics can turn into an uncomfortable mess of a topic. Something as simple and innocent as “how are you doing/how’s the family?” can turn into a downward sad descending spiral. Honestly, it’s a rough world out there and it’s easy for dreariness to get in somehow. Having volunteered and worked in the medical world for a while, I have realized that many people go through many things and in the scope of talking to a medical professional, people are not afraid to talk about the really sad and bad things. Personally, I don’t mind too much, it’s just that some people find it uncomfortable. I think it’s healthy and important, but it’s still not “SAFE” if you’re trying to have the person next to you like you, well sometimes

Topic #2 Social interaction is hard

I constantly get a compliment that is something like “you always know what to say”, or “you’re so good with people”. The truth is, I just over think every social situation to the point where I analyze them as a learning situation for the future and then used what I learned from the previous not as good experience. It can be awkward at times, but I always tell myself to left go of the feeling of “awkwardness”. It’s important to be honest with ones self and just let it be.

Topic #3 I need to pay attention to the news more

What is even going on these days?!

Now that I’ve bored you all with boring thoughts, please take with you that I hope you have a great week! You are a rock star and you will do great! <3 :*

[yavsehachoo]

I wish I had someone to come home to.

Like an Adam, an Adam would be nice. :D

[yavsehachoo]

It's all a facade, in the end we really are, alone. So the question is, do you love yourself to be okay with it? Is being alone really enough?

...I guess we don't really have a choice, do we?

[yavsehachoo]

I think people who get married without asking their significant others if they want children or not are making a huge mistake. It's important to know these things!

[yavsehachoo]

There was this time once, over a year ago, that I backed up into Adam's brand spanking new car and had to pay 600 dollars to fix it.  It was this one time that I wanted to stay in and he wanted us to go out so badly, and I was a bit agitated. While we were talking about it, I backed into the left side of his car and crushed it a bit. It was one of those moments where you feel like everything would change.  I was really upset about losing that large sum of money (Hey for 22, that's big!) and that we didn't just stay in like I wanted. I thought maybe my relationship with Adam would not be good again, or that he would be mad at me for not looking back as much as I should have. He has been wanting a car for YEARS and I go ahead and ruin it all for him.

My dad called our next door neighbor who is super good at fixing ANYTHING due to the fact that he designs roller coasters for a living. He told me a joke about how his then girlfriend, now wife backed into his old roommate's car.  It made me realize that sometimes, even though you think your life will never be the same, that sometimes it can go right back to being okay again, especially if you're with the right person.

I am so grateful that the situation was resolved, with lots of help from my next door neighbor who recommended a cheap and good repair shop and from my dad who went with Adam to the car repair shop the next day and let him spend the night at my place because his car wasn't safe enough to drive all the way back to Indian Rocks.

I am the most grateful that Adam, although he seemed a bit stirred, did not get angry at me, simply stating that "these things happen", and that even though he was worried at first (and of course his parents were upset), he still talks to me and loves me to this day. I'm sure he hardly even thinks about this incident at all. There is something to be said for being a very lucky girl with a very great man in her life.

Adam being away traveling around Europe really just makes me think of all these times I've had with him, good and slightly unpleasant (although that was mostly not either of our faults), and make me realize that no matter what befalls us, we're ready to handle it together.

Because well, I'm just a girl that is crazy in love. <3

[yavsehachoo]

Ok 2 things

I miss and love Adam I hate when people smoke around me Okay 3 I have lost a little faith in some humanity today, but then again I met one really good person. Okay 6 I hate being up this late because then it's is hard for me to go to sleep

[yavsehachoo]

Be the best you can be

and forget what they say

because people are assholes anyway.

[yavsehachoo]

[yavsehachoo]

Become a figure skater they said

it will be fun they said

[yavsehachoo]

Teeth

I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and they hurt so much but one thing I can say is that Adam took amazing care of me and brought me three kinds of gelato, chocolates and roses. How did I ever get such a sweet caring guy? Now if only I felt better so that I could get my hands on some 50% off Godiva.

[yavsehachoo]

Just another day during which I feel 'Forever Alone'

[yavsehachoo]

I know I'm a cheeseball,

but as I look at pictures of me and my favorite green card holder, I can't help but think about how much I care for him..I mean I really do...I don't have to think about it, or weigh pros and cons, or convince myself that I'm doing the right thing. I really feel something go a flutter in my heart, I get happy and start singing, I smile a quick, wide smile, the one where my eyes go all crinkly, and I know that everything is going to be alright and that I could see us being together for the long run. I can honestly say I've never felt this way about anybody before, with so few doubts and so much hope for what the future will bring. 

[yavsehachoo]

I have deactivated my facebook for the first time fives minutes ago and already I'm wanting to type in facebook.com on my browser address bar.

[yavsehachoo]

A really important life lesson that I have heard and still have not committed to heart is to not compare yourself to everybody else.

 That is hard considering that I'm constantly surrounded by people who are doing great things with their lives: whether they're having dream internships or going to medical school or becoming up and coming producers at NYU's Tisch's school of the arts. I hear on a daily basis how one cousin is a dentist, another is a doctor, and wait, why have I not tried to launch a singing career for myself, and why I am not a straight A student and why am I not perfectly thin and sculpted?

[yavsehachoo]

It's probably not good when I'm feeling really lonely and Mad World starts on Pandora. Time to wallow in my own misery!