yangsgirlfriend69

[yangsgirlfriend69]

this is what im doing w my social media hiatus

slay of me

[yangsgirlfriend69]

[yangsgirlfriend69]

sandra oh my fucking god.

[yangsgirlfriend69]

I made it onto the Indie Bestseller list by posting on TikTok. Don’t do what I did.

IDK how to use tumblr but here are some thoughts

Maybe I should wait to write this, to have a little distance from publishing my book. When I see authors who are at the same place I am — a week and a day out from publication — their captions often sing the praises of their publishers. They’ll mention how grateful they are that all their hard work paid off, that the years of writing and editing and blood, sweat, tears, or whatever other bodily fluids they put into their manuscript were worth it for the moment the book came out.

For me, it wasn’t.

#

The writing process for How to Excavate a Heart was liberating. I came up with the idea while driving to a Long Island Panera (where all good ideas are formed), and started outlining it while eating their dubiously-sourced mac-and-cheese.

I then proceeded to, as I texted verbatim to at least three close friends, “fart out the novel.” I wrote it in about six weeks while on a train trip visiting family and friends, and I cherished every moment of the process.

That was in late 2019/early 2020, and it was the last time my feelings about the book were purely positive.

How to Excavate a Heart (HTEAH) sold in the late summer of 2020, to be published in Fall 2022. I was more focused on my debut novel, Almost Flying, that was slated to come out in the summer of 2021. Which it did, though if you didn’t know it existed you certainly wouldn’t be alone. It earned a Stonewall Honor from the American Library Association, and I think the week that happened it crested to a new high of 20 copies nation-wide or something depressing like that.

Needless to say, I was frustrated by what I saw as lack of support from my publisher, and was determined to not let the same fate befall HTEAH. I was already fairly active on TikTok after originating the Laura Dern Sitting Challenge (my one true claim to fame), but I had heard that TikTok was generally not a fruitful platform for authors, or that, even if authors were popular, it didn’t translate to book sales.

So of course my first thought was, “Why don’t I push this boulder uphill and see what happens?”

So I posted my first TikTok about HTEAH in February of 2022. It flopped in an expected way, but I continued to post about it consistently, and, over time, amassed a small following. The HTEAH hashtag grew (almost all the videos on it were are still are my own), and I was thrilled that people were hearing about my book.

At the time of writing this, the hashtag has over two million views, and I can directly trace over 1,000 individual sales/preorders of my book to TikTok and TikTok alone.

Here’s the price I paid: My girlfriend has watched my mental health slowly deteriorate over this time. She’s seen me quit writing to focus on promoting this book, for the small chance that, I don’t know, someone might care. And now some people do! Hooray.

I spent nine months promoting a book to get it to the sales that it might’ve gotten if my publisher had supported it. Or maybe not — I have no way of knowing. All I know is that if I hadn’t posted about the book on TikTok, you wouldn’t be reading this. It wouldn’t have gotten on the Indie Bestseller list. It wouldn’t have made the Indie Next list. It wouldn’t be a book box pick.

And I wouldn’t be so burnt out I can barely get up from the couch. I wouldn’t be depressed from staring at my phone all day.

Maybe if I hadn’t done all this, I’d be able to write again, to turn in work on time. To live each day without the fear that I’m not doing enough because if I don’t post a TikTok my book will sell horribly like my last one and then that’s it, I’ll be a failed author before my 25th birthday.

What a healthy mindset, huh?

So sure, if you post consistently on TikTok for nine months before your book comes out, enough people will buy your book that you might make it onto a list. But please, I beg of you, don’t. If your publisher doesn’t support you enough to give you marketing, don’t do it yourself. You cannot be an entire team. You cannot be your own publicist.

I am one person. And now I’m done.

Anyway, you can buy my book at excavateyourheart.com and you cannot find me on social media anymore (except maybe tumblr apparently). Stream Loneliest Time by CRJ.

[yangsgirlfriend69]

I can’t think of any one reason why I want to be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here’s the thing, I love the playing field.

Grey’s Anatomy season 1

[yangsgirlfriend69]

Happy Thanksgiving!

[yangsgirlfriend69]

simp for the straights

meredith and derek in season 4

[yangsgirlfriend69]

(via lovelightgold)

me when i 

MARK: Can you imagine? You wake up, you’re battered, you’re bruised, you don’t know where you are or how you got there. CALLIE: Yeah, it sounds like my life: Married, betrayed, gay, abandoned. And then I woke up and had no idea how I got here. I just figured this is the bottom, it’s as bad as it gets. It can only go up from here.