yaesnovels

[yaesnovels]

will be moving everything i got on here to @caelisblade

dont mind that theres nothing yet, it‘ll come with time 🩷

pls share if u like <3

[yaesnovels]

will be moving everything i got on here to @caelisblade

dont mind that theres nothing yet, it‘ll come with time 🩷

pls share if u like <3

[yaesnovels]

will be moving everything i got on here to @caelisblade

dont mind that theres nothing yet, it‘ll come with time 🩷

pls share if u like <3

[yaesnovels]

okay, uhm, hi yall.

this isnt necessarily a decision i wanted to make but here goes nothing.

i have reached a very horrible headspace in this moment. the situation with the guy wasn‘t necessarily the turning moment for me, but a situation in my family.

i dont want to go into too much detail but the only thing important to know is that i have developed a quite severe hatred towards myself and my father without ever really intending to. i have to work on that first. at least for a bit. my hatred towards myself isnt necessarily about my body (that a bit too) but about myself. my character, my behavior, everything.

this is why i want to take a short tumblr break. i‘ll be gone until like august probably, hopefully will be able to have find a therapist by then to finally work on myself and figure out whats wrong with me. you can always dm me on discord if you want to chat, but other than that, i‘m taking a break from writing and tumblr.

hopefully we‘ll see each other in august. i‘ll be back soon.

thank u for following me throughout the past couple of months, supporting me for my writing and everything.

i appreciate each and every single one of you.

i‘ll be back better and happier hopefully.

[yaesnovels]

i‘m craving a love from somebody who will just make me feel all giddy just by kissing me, make me feel so loved and cherished just for existing. who will hold me in their arms as they make me giggle bc they teasingly tickle me.

im just so sad that despite being twenty now i never got to experience any sort of love in that sense. i never even had a crush. i know that i can feel sexual attraction but never any romantic feelings.

im talking to this boy rn and he really makes me happy and remembers tiny details of things we spoke about idk two weeks ago, he keeps up with me, calls me and i can call him comfortably and vent about something that bothers me but the only thing i cant vent about to him rn is that i dont really feel romantic feelings to him. hes sweet but i dont have a crush on him. i think, at least.

it bothers me so much and i dont know what to do anymore. i know that i got to talk to him about it eventually but i fear that once i do, i will lose the simple happiness he can give me, too. but he seems so hopeful to have found his match; to have found the person he likes.

he even jokingly told his mom that he‘s talking to his girlfriend on the phone when he was talking to me. i feel so bad, i feel like im leading him on but i dont know how to talk about it either.

if anyone knows what to do, please let me know. im really in a horrible headspace rn.

[yaesnovels]

SCREAMS

[yaesnovels]

lol i called them for funsies and asked if todays date said something to them and my mom told me she literally forgot

the biggest disappointment of me entering my twenties was being forgotten by my own parents. its horrible.

[yaesnovels]

modern childe racer au 🤲

maybe one day 🙏🏻 no promises (i will write it)

[yaesnovels]

guess we‘re writing this baby

will write it if y‘all like the idea 😋

[yaesnovels]

the biggest disappointment of me entering my twenties was being forgotten by my own parents. its horrible.

[yaesnovels]

gasp something in my bio changed lol, entered my twenties, nothing feels different so far

[yaesnovels]

just adding this to convince the ones saying no because i stand by the point that he‘d slay these tight ass biker outfits, i‘ll probably write the fic as a gift to myself lol

will write it if y‘all like the idea 😋

[yaesnovels]

will write it if y‘all like the idea 😋

[yaesnovels]

well, it is only one more day until my birthday, damn, i‘m actually turning twenty in officially less than twenty-four hours.

because of that, i want to make a little birthday oriented event-ish thing for myself, posting some birthday based fics for marius von hagen, alhaitham, childe, blade and jing yuan.

so please, feel free to send me some birthday celebration related requests, headcanons etc, specifically for those five, others work too tho!

i‘d be happy to read them and write something for them, just to not feel lonely on my birthday tomorrow night :) ❤️

[yaesnovels]

i spilled hot choco over my ipad keyboard and now its all sticky im so sad

it still works tho so writing wont be an issue luckily

[yaesnovels]

harry, thank u so much for this beautiful experience as my first concert ever. i love u.

[yaesnovels]

am back in germany bitches i‘ll be writing more from now on (i hope)