xfenwicks

[xfenwicks]

aurelia-scamander‌:

@xfenwicks

[xfenwicks]

C A R A D O C   D E A R B O R N :

Okay, maybe this had been a bad idea, but Caradoc figured both of them needed a break from reality for a bit. Everything was always so immediate, so pressing; god knows Caradoc hadn’t had a moment to think or to mourn in ages, and he knew Benjy well enough to guess that he hadn’t either. So they were at the World Cup, and Caradoc was determined to make sure his friend had a good time. Despite his many years playing Quidditch, Caradoc had never really loved to watch it; sure, he’d gone to the games while in school, had regularly attended the World Cup with friends, but it had always been more of a social event for him than born out of any great love for the sport. It was just that his normal social locale had become whatever pub was closest, and he was at least self-aware enough to know he needed a break from that, too.

And Caradoc was enjoying himself; it felt like him and Benjy never really had time for each other these days. Sure, they still saw each other regularly, and there was no one else worthy of being called his best friend, but times had changed them all. It was nice just to be with his friend for a few days. “Are you not?” Caradoc countered, shifting his gaze from the field to his friend. “We don’t have to be here, you know,” he reminded softly, then, “or we don’t have to be here sober, if that’s better.”

It would be a lie to say that there wasn’t a small part of him that wanted to enjoy it all - that maybe already was enjoying it. But it didn’t sit well with him. Not when he saw the whole thing simply seemed like a distraction. An enjoyable ruse to make people forget what had just happened, to quell their anger over the injustice of it all. The more relaxed he saw other people the more it riled him and he’d never really been one to begrudge others a bit of enjoyment in life. This time was different though. Their joy made his plight seem ignored and the struggle of others like him overlooked just so people could have a nice time. Wilful ignorance was never something he’d managed to look past nor find any sort of sympathy for and so his head shook at his friend’s question, wondering how he could even ask it. “No. How could I?” 

Almost instantly though he regrets the way he snapped. Caradoc had never once deserved his vitriol, not when he had been a steadfast friend for over a decade. Sigh slipped from his lips as he runs a hand across his face before broad shoulders roll into a shrug. “Maybe a little but it makes me feel like a hypocrite.” After all he’d spent most of his time there so far in a rage, declaring his distaste for it all to almost anyone who would listen. Still, if there was one person he could count on to bring some enjoyment to him, it was Caradoc. The flash of an apologetic smile flickers over his features before he nods in agreement to the suggestion laid out by his friend. “Not sober sounds like a plan. The only plan.”

[xfenwicks]

A M E L I A   B O N E S :

Amelia wasn’t quite impressed by the change in Benjy’s demeanor. The way he crossed his arms in front of him would maybe be intimidating to some but Amelia had dealt with too many politicians to be intimidated easily. “No, you did not say that. But you walk around with an expression on your face as if you are about to cut the first person you come across,” she let him know, crossing her own arms in front of her as well.

“I know it’s not my position but I am not planning to start an argument here with you. I find it just as crazy as you that so many people have been fired,” she let him know. If she could do something about the situation, then she would have. But there was no way that Amelia would be able to do something without losing her own job or perhaps having to go away altogether.

He’d once admired the way she always stood her ground no matter what, a stubbornness that almost mirrored his. It wasn’t so much that he’d stopped admiring it, just it had somewhat lost its charm when it was directed at him and so his jaw clenched as she spoke . There was no attempt this time to keep his tone more level, feeling somewhat slighted that she was prepared to assume that he would ever act on his anger. “That’s a lot of assumptions you’re busy making, Bones.”

Frustration only grew as she tried ( though not all that hard ) to placate him when her previous words seemed to suggest otherwise. “No? Then you might want to take another look at your plan because you’re doing a pretty good job of picking a fight.” Head shook before he couldn’t help but challenge her, finding almost anyone’s sentiments on the new system beyond empty if they weren’t part of The Order. “Crazy, huh? What are you going to do about it then?”

[xfenwicks]

You have always been content to destroy yourself, so others would never have the chance. After all, it is far easier to burn a house down, than to grow comfortable living in it.

your heart is an arsonist, building bridges so you have something to burn | m.a.w (via madzieloss)

[xfenwicks]

ptterjames‌:

moodboard: ft. benjy ( @xfenwicks )

[xfenwicks]

latinxmarvel‌:

Sean Teale for DAMAN Magazine

[xfenwicks]

J A M E S   P O T T E R :

“Benjy!” The sight of the familiar wizard was enough to make James grin like a kid, sending him bounding over to the man with an extra spring in his step. It was likely no secret, that James had always looked up to Benjy. The man was firm in his beliefs, passionate about the Order, desperate to bring down the Death Eaters – everything that James believed in as well. As fellow Order members, there was nothing that James wouldn’t do for Benjy, much like the sentiments he held for the Order as a whole, or his closest friends. James could appreciate the fact that the sentiment was likely returned. “I’m not surprised to see you here – I was too young to witness it with my own eyes, but I heard you were a bloody good chaser.”

Turning at the sound of a familiar voice, his expression brighten somewhat. A frown had taken up permanent residence on his features but the sight of another Order member was always a welcome one. “Can’t pass up a good game of Quidditch, especially when it’s the Harpies.” Smirk tugged at his lips before he shook his head in mock offence at the other man. “Way to compliment a guy and make him feel ancient at the same time, Potter.” He had fond memories of his Quidditch team when it had made him feel so accepted but he knew that his talent had been nothing starling. Working as part of a group and his dedication to his teammates was what had earned him his spot. “I was alright, nothing special. Just knew how to work as part of a team.”

[xfenwicks]

A N T O N I N   D O L O H O V :

Antonin felt his eyes narrow as his eyes focused on those of Benjy Fenwick. Four, he thought, making the connection to the other wizard’s code. He’d lost more than just his status when he’d chosen to align himself with the order. 

“You can never be too careful as to the sorts you might run in to,” he drawled, his eyes taking a lap up and down the other man. Antonin eased off slightly, however he did not remove his hand entirely from his wand pocket. Antonin shrugged, “If you’d taken more care, for example, perhaps you would still have a job,” he stated, his eyes glittering, daring the man before him to retort. 

Hatred was hardly a new emotion for him when it was always there bubbling underneath the surface of his skin, hot and corrosive. There were times when it flared up and clouded his judgement, made it hard for him to make the right decisions and instead left him with nothing but the reckless option. He never had been able to bite his tongue and so acidic words were forced from his lips, no subtlety in his meaning faux agreement. “No, you really can’t.” 

Scoff left him at the supposed advice, it only serving to fan the flames of his anger even more. “Thanks for the advice. I’ll be sure to bear that in mind.” To anyone of his friends the words would have been light and teasing, instead they were filled with bitter humour and distaste. “But for the record I’d rather be jobless than working for the likes of Yaxley or you.”

[xfenwicks]

★ (Ted)

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you/ I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally  / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me/ You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me  / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else /

[xfenwicks]

S I R I U S   B L A C K :

If there was anyone that might indulge his crazier side, Sirius should have known it would have been Benjy. They could all be reckless, sure, but Benjy and Sirius seemed to be somewhat of kindred spirits - a little more reckless than the others, who had all tamed a bit as they grew older. Not that the two of them couldn’t be responsible, when needed, but someone had to liven up things now and again, didn’t they? And he had found Benjy before he found James, so, he was the lucky one today.

“Me? No.” Sirius smirked. “I’m entirely placing all of my faith in the broom - I’m hoping it’s fast enough.” He glanced backward to follow Beny’s gaze, nodding slowly. He certainly didn’t look too fast, that was for sure. It was certainly  a gamble, but Sirius hadn’t found a scrape he hadn’t been able to get out of before - he didn’t think it would start now. “Yeah? I’ll pick you up as I go. We can both fly away into the sunset.”

His recklessness was something that had punctuated his life for as long as he could remember. Initially caused by the fearlessness that came with an unwavering faith in his parents and their endless encouragement. That feeling that he could do anything he put his mind to. But then anger had seeped into it as it had with every other aspect of his life and the recklessness had started to take the form of some kind of relief from it all. The impulsiveness of potentially stealing a broom was pretty tame given some of the other outlets he had been turning to.

Smirk ghosted over his lips once more, nodding in agreement that the it was the speed of the broom that was key to all this. “That seems more like it’ll be successful.” Hand moved to hover over his heart as he tried for mock sincerity. “I’m flattered Black, I really am.” The smirk on his lips grew somewhat at his own jest, foiling his attempt at seriousness. “It’s just when I pictured myself flying off into the sunset it was with someone a little more my type.”

[xfenwicks]

★ for james

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you/ I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally  / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me/ You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me  / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else /

[xfenwicks]

Perhaps the thing that defined his relationship with his magic the most was the treatment of his family at the hands of the Fenwicks. It had undeniably coloured his attitude towards all Purebloods - somewhat ironically when he was fighting against them for the very prejudice that he was guilty of. Still, one or two had slipped past his instant suspicion of them and made a solid case to him that perhaps not all those who’s blood is considered ‘better’ than his were inherently bad. The ones that rebelled against the ideology that the Fenwicks had upheld that had mad them shun their son and grandson.

Yet even the company of someone who had become his best friend despite the odds still couldn’t bring much enjoyment to the event. Gaze drifted around the scenes playing out around them before dropping away when all it did was spark up too much anger inside of him. “You having fun yet?” Bitterness slipped so easily into his tone, almost a staple in it at this point, but for his friend’s sake the corners of his mouth lifted up to form a sardonic smile.

@dearbcrned

[xfenwicks]

Surrounded by so many cheerful, exhilarated people he was left feeling as though he was the only one in the whole country still angry about what happened. It wasn’t exactly as though anger was new to him when rage had become a part of him somewhere in his teens. It was almost comfortable for him now, a partner through everything he did. Rightly or wrongly. Anger was so normal to him and more recently, anger in others seemed to have been common place. But now it seemed as though they had all wilfully forgotten what had happened simple so they could enjoy a spectacle.

It was as irksome as it was unsettling to see something which should be angering the masses glossed over in favour of an event and he found himself reaching for the firewhisky more and more to keep himself on an even kilter. As he entered the drinks tent, a familiar face was spotted and a small amount of hope kindled when he thought that there might finally be someone who was enjoying it all as little as him. “You need another drink to help you through this bullshit?”

@xzachxwilliams

[xfenwicks]

kingsdvminion‌:

sean teale for daman december ‘’17 issue

[xfenwicks]

A N T O N I N   D O L O H O V :

Location: Main Quidditch pitch - The lakes district

Event: The Quidditch World Cup

Status: Open to all

The referee called for yet another time out after a frustrated beater had thrown his bat with much force at an opposing chaser. Antonin took the slight slow in play to edge his way to the concession stands for another drink. It was a big game with fierce rivalry, Koldovstoretz and Durmstrang. A game so close the seats of the stands had barely been used by rear ends, fries and beer littering the ground more than bellies.

It seemed that others had thought along the same lines as Antonin who joined the thick throng of bodies attempting to get to the front of the bar. He was just tossing up whether he’d be able to fight his way to the front when a body slammed into his back, he braced himself before he spun around, his hand already brushing over the end of his wand.

He’d done his best to pay attention to the match rather than get consumed by his anger and bitterness once more. For the most part the action had proved something of a salve for the wounds that had been smarting since he’d lost his job ( although he had been carrying bitterness within him for much longer than that ) and he had almost fooled himself into believing that ilusion of normality that everyone else seemed so keen to buy into. 

That slight feeling of ease vanished almost instantly as a break in play was caused and he inevitably turned to alcohol once more to mellow himself out. Except his trip proved far from uneventful, eyes narrowing as an oh so familiar face reaching for their wand over nothing more than a jostling crowd. “So you’re all pulling wands on anyone who so much as inconveniences you?” Words were somewhat nonchalant but there was undeniable bitterness seeping in. “Good to know.”

[xfenwicks]

D A I S Y   H O O K U M :

World Cup Event Where: The Lake District Who: Daisy & @xfenwicks​

Although Daisy wasn’t much of a sports fan, events like this were hard to pass up. Especially when an old friend had invited her to come along and watch the games with them. Her and Benjy had decided to meet up at the front gates of the Lake District, a little bit early to ensure they had time to check out the vendors and have time to find a seat for the game. Daisy was always one to show up way earlier than she was supposed to, and she ended up having a half an hour to spare before her and Benjy were supposed to meet up. She spent that time wandering around, looking in on some tents and sending out smiles to anybody she recognized.

A few minutes before she was supposed to meet Benjy, Daisy stopped in at the bar to get a drink for them. She figured the crowd and everything else might be a little more tolerable with alcohol in their systems. She carefully headed back towards the entrance with a butterbeer for herself and a firewhiskey for Benjy, who she spotted waiting for her. “Benjy!” Daisy called, excitement in her voice. She approached him carefully, not wanting to spill their drinks, then extended the glass of firewhiskey out to him, “Figured we’d have more fun with a drink.” She giggled before taking a sip of her butterbeer, “I’ve had a chance to check out a few things, but I didn’t go in to any of the tents because I wanted to wait for you.”

It felt like there was very little these days that could bring a smile to his face. Life seemed to have ceased giving him reasons to be happy and there was only a handful of people that he knew were guaranteed to lift his mood. Maybe that was why he’d reached out to Daisy as soon as he’d heard about the competition that was being put on, in the hope that she might be able to help him find some enjoyment in it. Or maybe it just felt like it had been so long since the two of them had been able to spend some time together. Their friendship had dwindled somewhat since he’d left school and he couldn’t help but feel some guilt about it - after all, he was hardly the warmest of people, especially in letters.

Part of him had been dreading even turning up at the Lake District, worried that it might be too much like a red flag to his raging bull. But as soon as he spotted Daisy, it was impossibly to feel quite so angry at the world. He wasn’t really sure why she’d ever put up with his mercurial moods but he was grateful for it when he knew that really she was far too good to be friends with him. Rare smile flashed across his features as he gratefully took the firewhisky off her, knowing that i was probably needed to mellow him slightly. “You know me so well.” He took a gulp of it, the familiar burning sensation making its way down his throat. Head shook at her words, teasing flowing forth. “So you could drag me around them instead?”

[xfenwicks]

The irony of it all wasn’t lost on him. That even a year ago this competition would have been something he’d revelled in. An opportunity to watch the school that had become his home go head to head and broom to broom, practically on his own doorstep was too good to be true. Even with his current mood he couldn’t truly pass up on the opportunity to watch so much quidditch, even if he did think it was all a sham. A distraction to make them all forget about what they’d lost, helping Yaxley’s Ministry run smoothly when they should have all been rebelling against it. Then there was the stark reminder of so many faces from around the world, faces that still had most of their freedom in tact. It was all a little too much to handle.

If there was one saving grace of it all, it was that it gave him ample time to catch up with his friends. The people that had become his family the same way that Hogwarts had become his home. He’d finally managed to find perhaps one of the only people who would show him the silver lining in all his storm clouds. If anyone could bring him even a spark of enjoyment it would be Aurelia. Slight frown creased his brow as he glanced around at the crowds but he couldn’t find it in him to criticise the entire event. “You know, if it wasn’t for the circumstances this might not be half bad.” 

@aurelia-scamander