wutsetien

[wutsetien]

It's not about your image but who you actually are. You know what I mean? It's not about "presenting yourself as" x or "looking like" y. It's about actually being whatever you want to be.

The image is irrelevant. It's you that matters. Who are you when nobody's looking you over, not even yourself?

[wutsetien]

I moved across America for the first time, lived on my own for the first time, and got into my top choice graduate program of my choice before meeting my partner. I was determined to live my dream life in my favorite part of America with or without a partner. I actually think it was much easier to work toward everything I have now because I could accept that I might not die as a married/partnered woman - and that was truly, genuinely acceptable.

Unpopular opinion?

Obsessing over “marrying well”is a form of escapism—and it’s holding you back.

There’s this pervasive idea on Hypergamyblr that if you could just land the perfect rich husband, your life would magically fall into place. You’d be set for life, your problems would vanish, and you’d live happily ever after in a luxury bubble. But here’s the reality: obsessing over the perfect partner isn’t a pathway to success—it’s a form of escapism.

When you’re focused on finding the “ideal” partner—whether that’s someone wealthy, successful, or with the “perfect” qualities—it distracts you from your own life. It becomes this mental escape, a fantasy where everything else takes a back seat. You start to believe that the key to your happiness and success lies outside of yourself, in someone else. And while dreaming about a future with a partner may seem harmless, when it takes over your thoughts and actions, it fucks up for life.

If you put the energy you’re wasting on fantasizing about the “perfect” rich partner into actually developing your own skills, pursuing your passions, and creating your own success, you would be miles ahead. Success doesn’t come from finding someone to “rescue” you—it comes from what you do for yourself.

Stop looking for someone else to fix your problems. No one is coming to save you. You need to do the work. Build your own wealth, develop your own career, learn new skills, and grow your confidence. Be the woman who is already living an extraordinary life, with or without a partner. Only then will you attract someone who complements your success—not someone who completes you, but someone who enhances your already amazing life.

You’re in control of your destiny, and focusing on a perfect partner is just a way to avoid taking responsibility for it. Stop wasting time thinking you’ll find happiness by being someone’s arm candy. If you want real success, you need to be your own hero first. A partner might come along, but they should never be the foundation of your life. Be strong, capable, and self-sufficient, and the right partner will only add to your greatness—not define it.

[wutsetien]

Something you agree with?

[wutsetien]

on friends and soulmates and that type of love that feels like it's going to burst right out of your heart

@/zmije / @/leptodiera / @/bichopalo / lyrics from two best friends by bb bean / animatedjames on youtube / @/killingmyselfbutnotdying / unknown / @/sadiekane / friedrich neitzsche / katfish draws / @/elytrians / @/wormbus-art aka @/angel-pond / @/mushysuggestion / the unsent project / mhairi mcfarlane / unknown

[wutsetien]

If one more person invokes the model minority myth to talk about people of color I'm going to scream.

[wutsetien]

“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”

— Bill Watterson

[wutsetien]

I bet in another life Cardi B would be writing her dissertation at Princeton or Columbia on how social safety net programs and World War 2 impacted American nationalist identity...sometimes I wonder.

[wutsetien]

Lessons from grad school thus far:

The Supreme Court is more like 12 Angry Jurors than it wants you to think.

Elite institutions are not your friends and will try their very best to make you believe their definition of success should be yours too, because that's how they get financial and social capital.

Do not forget your reasons for coming, because otherwise the institution will eat you alive and spit you out in its image.

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[wutsetien]

collage i made in rehab

[wutsetien]

Attached walk-in closet to Principal Bathroom. Nice "calm" finishes of light grey tiles & wood vanities.

[wutsetien]

all prisoners on death row are political prisoners. capital punishment is part of both the afterlife and presentlife of lynchings and slavery. the myriad of issues including the permanence of death as punishment, how death sentences are deployed in an overtly discriminatory manner, how capital punishment does nothing to actually prevent crime, denies people any chance of restorative justice all of these are secondary to the simple fact that the state should not have the right to kill human beings. some of y'all keep missing the point and focusing on the dichotomies of guilt versus innocence when it comes to the liberation of prisoners on death row (and otherwise). regardless of whether or not an individual is "guilty" of the crime they have been charged with, the state should not be able to detain them indefinitely before murdering them. full stop. rest in power marcellus williams and may we, in the words of george jackson, "rage on aggressive and free" until no human being is murdered by the state again

[wutsetien]

I love how Elle worded this <3

Romantic relationships with wealthy men do not have to be transactions! They can simply be affectionate interactions between two people that do not involve expectations of physical intimacy!!

Something on your mind?

"Nothing comes for free".

The narrative circulating Tumblr and other platforms that “nothing comes for free,” implying that men won’t offer luxury or experiences unless you give them sex in return is downright insulting and I'm sick of hearing about it. Firstly, it's most often pushed by women who don’t know any other way, and if even subconsciously, are projecting their low self-esteem or detachment from their own bodies onto others. Secondly, it's a big slap in the face to all women who are looking to align with well-to-do men who respect, admire, and see their worth. And thirdly, it implies that all wealthy men are sleazy and transactional which is so fucking ignorant.

The simple reality is that the right man will offer you the world because he wants to, not because there’s an expectation of something in return. High-value men are looking for women they respect, not women they can bargain with. As someone who’s fully embraced hypergamy while staying true to my values, including remaining celibate, I’ve seen how powerful it is to attract wealthy, successful men who genuinely want to invest in me for who I am—not for what they expect in return. I have a man flying from New York to London just to take me on a date, knowing I’m celibate. My ex-boyfriend bought me six figures worth of designer items, knowing I was celibate. I have had countless men move mountains for me, knowing I'm celibate. The list goes on.

If you’re looking to date and marry well, your golden ticket will be pushing back against the voices of women with skewed life experiences trying to convince you that you have to sacrifice your body to be treated well. True hypergamy is about aligning yourself with a man who naturally wants to elevate your life because he respects you, admires you, and sees your worth. Never, ever forget that.

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I think this narrative of “just get you an old man with $$$ and live happily ever after” is giving old school misogyny… I understand the sentiment. However, I reject it. I think women deserve to be absolutely ravished by a man that they are actually attracted to who is ALSO financially stable. At this point in my life, unless it’s earth shattering union with a man I’m head over heels for (and he’s more into me than I am him) then I literally do not want it. I’d rather provide for myself.

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i've been reading a lot of books about urban naturalism recently, and the one big thing they all talk about is how you HAVE to stop seeing nature as something that happens somewhere else. nature is not just charismatic megafauna and state parks and mountain ranges. nature is that abandoned lot that's growing native milkweed in it. nature is the murder of crows that lives in your block. nature is the moss growing on your roof and the dandelions growing in the sidewalk cracks and the song birds at your neighbor's birdfeeder. and you should care about it! you should notice it! that's YOUR nature!

[wutsetien]

i think……..one of the many problems in how sex is perceived in society is that we seem to think its this isolated “skill” like people are very anxious about getting experience or practice or whatever wrt sex but that’s not really how it works, it’s fundamentally an expression, a conversation; two-sided, subjective, situational, and figuring out what works for everyone involved, as opposed to being just another objective talent to master for all situations as if its one-size-fits-all without consideration to your specific partner

[wutsetien]

bro stop talking about yearning. go make mistakes and learn