wtfockaesthetic - Tumblr blog

wtfockaesthetic · 2 years ago

Note

Hi lovely, could you please write a little something about robbe and sander being friends and going on a trip with the gang and having to share a bed?

It was a terrible mistake to come on this trip during winter, Robbe thinks for the hundredth time since they all got here this morning. The house is old, and it's clearly a month away from being completely abandoned by Jens’ family. He looks at the old walls in the dark room and imagines how the insulation is old, dusty, and completely inefficient after so many decades of use in wet weather such as this, a few meters away from the beach.

No number of heavy comforters and blankets can make this a comfortable night of sleep. He can feel Sander's warmth helping a little bit but he's still shaking uncontrollably. The extra layers of clothes weren't as helpful as they should, so Robbe got rid of his hoodie before Sander fell asleep because he didn’t want to bother his sleep doing it later. Nobody else seems to be struggling as much as he is. He can hear a bunch of heavy breaths, some snoring but no rustling of sleeping bags or shivers from the cold.

“Stop moving...” He jumps as he hears Sander's voice, a little breeze of freezing air swirling around him as Sander turns to lie on his back, his shoulder over Robbe´s.

Sander puts his other arm over his eyes, and his hand gently reaches Robbe´s hair, and he starts gently playing with his curls, probably trying to help Robbe relax and fall asleep and consequently stop moving and making them both freeze even more.

“Sorry,” Robbe whispers, closing his eyes and trying to keep them that way.

“I can go check for more blankets if you want…”

Robbe shakes his head, feeling another hard wave of shivers that he manages to control by turning his body a little bit, a second away from putting his leg over Sander´s to strap them together. His self-consciousness can't help but ring every alarm with his movement but he tries to argue it was better than to shake uncontrollably, making Sander even more annoyed to be sharing a bed with Robbe.

They have known each other for a very long time. Sander is closer to Zöe, Robbe's big sister and it feels wrong to be so…close and in a (probably) too intimate of a position with someone who's constantly pointed as his sister’s possible future boyfriend and husband.

But, in the safety and privacy of his own thoughts, Robbe has dreamed about this guy for so long. It doesn't help that he is kind, very affectionate, very liberal, with his modern way of thinking about every subject, the most beautiful human Robbe has ever seen, not bothered to share a twin bed with him, hidden beneath layers and layers of heavy blankets. Robbe opens his eyes, trying to keep himself under control from where his brain was going. He pulls the first layer of comforter on them and covers their head completely. Sander doesn't flinch or ask anything about it, he just keeps playing with Robbe’s hair once he settles down again.

Now he can´t concentrate on relaxing and falling asleep, obviously. So, he takes advantage of being in the complete dark to stare at where he assumes Sander’s head is, his profile, with his lean arm over his eyes.

He starts to think of how life is made of countless now moments. He´ll never be under these blankets, sharing a bed with the man of his dreams, with nobody watching or knowing how close they are, how Sander is absently playing with his hair, how they could be holding hands if they wanted to because Sander’s arm is on top of Robbe´s, helping him keep his warm but also from shivering even harder.

Robbe gently holds the hand that was in his hair and puts it down on Sander´s chest. He feels Sander lifting his head a little bit, facing him.

“What?”

It´s funny how upset he sounds from being prevented from touching Robbe´s hair. Before Sander can complain again or Robbe can change his mind, he moves his head and presses their lips together. It´s likely just a second but it feels like a lifetime, and before Robbe can regret his impulse, he feels a gentle hand on his cheek, holding them in that position.

Instantly, he feels his body warm up, buzzing with excitement, and he snuggles even closer, just still pressing their lips together until they stop, resting their forehead against each other while they both adjust their positions, lying on their sides, pressing their lips together again. Sander is the one to deepen the kiss, his hand on the small of Robbe´s back, pressing their whole bodies together.

They kiss for a long time, until Robbe´s body is completely warm, feels like it's melting even. He holds Sander´s face, feeling his hair getting long enough to start covering his ears. Robbe hears himself let a moan slip in between kisses, and he feels his whole face get red as he feels Sander smiling. He lies his head back down on his pillow, realizing he can’t apologize if he wants to pretend that stupid sound didn’t come out of his mouth.

“Was that more helpful than me playing with your hair?”

Robbe laughs shyly, needing to push the blankets down to uncover his face to breathe fresh air. Sander follows a second later. He can feel he´s being watched, and Robbe starts to regret kissing Sander, thinking he went too fast and clearly didn’t leave much room for a single responsible thought. He doesn’t regret it but he´s afraid his dumb actions can have bigger consequences.

“You ok?”Sander whispers.

“Yeah…Like a dream come true.” He decides to try to explain his feelings with the minimal use of words possible. Sander snorts, pulling his pillow to be as close as possible to Robbe´s before he can lie his head down too.

“You’re cute.”

Robbe rolls his eyes. He doesn’t want to be cute; he wants to be hot. Sander holds him by his waist, and Robbe kisses him again, slowly pulling the blankets over their heads again, finally putting his leg around Sander’s waist.

37 notes · View notes

wtfockaesthetic · 2 years ago

Text

How Never Have I Ever Uses Music to Hint at the Future

I’ve always loved the way music tells a story, especially in movies and tv shows. These things usually go unnoticed unless you’re a college student trying to ignore homework on a Tuesday afternoon. I have been aware that NHIE has been whispering a secret story through its soundtrack for a while now but never had time to actually compile it into one monster of a post. So I’m doing it now!

This is where I try to convince you that the show has been hinting at Devi ending up with Ben all the way since season one. There are over 100 songs in the official soundtrack and of course, I can’t go through them all so I’ll just stick with the most important moments from all three seasons and lyrics that I think encapsulate the core message of the songs.

SEASON 1

The Pilot – Introductions

Paxton’s intro song (Dancing On My Own – Robyn) makes a lot of sense for both characters. It talks about trying hard to get someone’s attention and failing at it. It is a song with a dramatic, pulsating beat that plays over Paxton’s big entrance into Devi’s class.

I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh

I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? Oh

I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooh

I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)

Ben is introduced with a softer melody (Rubia – Juan Wauters). It is in Spanish, a language I don’t speak as well so I won’t try to translate it but I will leave you with this Pitchfork review of it written by Steven Arroyo :

“Rubia” still succeeds wonderfully on these terms, a longing love letter to someone with a memorable nose in a far-away country…

Te guardo un lugar en mi corazon

No quiero irme, chequeo hora son

Me iré pensando que

Muy pronto contigo yo estaré

There is an important moment near the end of the episode when Devi goes to talk to Paxton (and asks him to have sex with her) in which Playing Games by Anna of the North plays.

I've been playing games with your heart

Left you thinking in the dark

Just to make you feel unsure

Then I know you want me more

This whole song is very interesting to me. The singer seems to describe a situation in which she has the upper hand in a relationship.

I’ve been playing games with your heart, so I know I’ve made my mark is a lyric I think perfectly shows Devi’s desire to enter a relationship. It is not because she actually likes Paxton. In fact, she doesn’t even know him yet. I think it tells of Devi’s reasons to have a boyfriend – to make a mark not just on him but the school, and her peers as well. She wants to stop being “invisible” as to somehow regain some power over her situation in s1 (the death of Mohan) as well as distract herself from it.

Episode 2

The song Dancing on The Limit (by Prizes) plays as Devi dreams of Paxton coming into her room to have sex with her. It is the first “love song” of Devi and Paxton which I find genius since it doesn’t actually depict reality.

I’m never gonna quit it

Back in love within a minute

We’re dancing on the limit

But I love the way you’re making me move

It is a fantasy, something Devi feels when she imagines what would be like to be Paxton’s girlfriend.

Episode 6

In Ben’s episode we get so much more insight into who he is, and not just that shell of an obnoxious overachiever he built for himself. We also get insight into his feelings for Devi when he is having dinner with the Vishwakumars where after choosing not to “nuke her back”, he actually has a fun time with her family as the song (Call Me by Sarah Rebecca) in the background goes :

Call me angel, I could save you

I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you

At the very end of the episode when Devi Venmos Ben so that he never has to “accept food from a pedo again” another love song can be heard (Lost – Boy Harsher).

I’m the one that holds you

In the middle of the night

I’m the one that wants you

Forever til we die

Episode 7

In this episode Devi and Paxton kiss for the first time to Fire For You by the Cannons which at first seems like a really sensual song… until you actually read the lyrics.

I could’ve died for you

How could you not know?

I was alive with you

But you brought in the cold

Was I being lied to? Wish I never met you

Started to regret you

Episode 10

Boys Like You - Kids at Midnight

We’ve reached my favorite NHIE song. I love the synths. I love the 80s vibe. I love everything about it (No wonder why that Malibu kiss got an MTV nomination).

Certainly the most interesting thing about this song playing during this scene is right as the camera lowers on Devi’s phone, we cut to Paxton leaving a voicemail with these lyrics in the background :

She said, “Boys like that should be in second place”

Now do with that what you will but this is the most intentionally placed lyric in season 1, in my opinion.

I know it hurts right now, one day you’ll realise

There’s no need to hide yourself from the world

All my life I’ve been hiding myself

Just waiting for a boy like you

SEASON 2

Episode 8

In the scene we see Devi apologize to Ben about the cheating when the song Up All Night by The Undercover Dream Lovers starts playing. The song is seemingly about second chances and not letting someone go. I thought the theme of driving was interesting considering Malibu.

Caught up on the freeway

You test my patience all the time

Find another exit, ooh

Blocking you from mine

Episode 9

Heat Waves – Glass Animals

During Paxton and Devi’s kiss Heat Waves plays and I have to admit the song as well as the scene are amazing. However, I’ve seen this song misunderstood by Daxton fans so much, probably due to the scene trending (mostly on TikTok where people enjoy quick content without much context).

The writer of the song, David Bayley says this about what it means, mentioning another song called Your Love : “They’re both definitely two of the songs that are about relationships and sort of knowing that they’re doomed,”

Bayley uses the term Heat Wave to represent an illusion of a highway mirage (the air that rises off asphalt on extremely hot days making it seem like the road is wet).

So the love that the writer describes is just like the heat waves – an illusion.

Now I gotta let you go

You’ll be better off in someone new

I don’t wanna be alone

You know it hurts me too

You look so broken when you cry

One more and then I say goodbye

Episode 10

GOLDEN – Running ; Ben comes into the girls bathroom to try and make Devi feel better after she is rejected by Paxton. As he is saying “When are you gonna to realize that that dick doesn’t deserve you” the lyrics playing are :

But I get these feelings

That I can’t explain

It’s in my veins

being the underdog all the time

Hello Pongo – Summer Love

Another love song that plays when Ben and Devi see each other at the dance.

I’ve been lookin,

for you my summer love

forever summer love

Sam Smith – Love Goes

This song is – do you wanna guess? Not a love song. It is a sad one.

I hope you understand that I have to send you away

You may not understand, but I know that you will one day

You’re broken, I know this

And if you knew it, you would love me a whole different way

But that’s how love goes, goes

I also think it’s funny how just as Devi and Paxton are about to slow dance the DJ plays a different, more upbeat song which tells us they aren’t really that compatible with each other. They just never manage to catch that love song!

I wonder if season 4 brings us a Ben and Devi slow dance…

SEASON 3

Episode 1

Josha Daniel – Dream of You ; We finally get something close to a love song for Daxton in the first scene of season 3 even though it it pretty vague and repetitive.

We are never gonna waste our time again

I can’t sleep when i dream of you

Ilo Ilo – Clementine ; Devi and Paxton almost have sex

Clementine

Trying to erase you from my spotless mind

Hit fast-forward but I’m stuck in rewind

Episode 3

Afternoon Bike Ride – Before The Fall ; Devi tells Nalini she and Paxton broke up

After an autumn of ends lеd to silence

Winters cloak covered the tracks of the tyrants

Spring couldn’t bring on the promise of June

With no voice to sing and nothing to bloom

I found the mention of June interesting even if it wasn’t intentional because it almost seems like an answer to Heat waves (Sometimes, all I think about is you, Late nights in the middle of June).

Mel Blue – Finding You; Ben tells Fabiola Devi broke his heart

I lost you love

You lost you too

I lost myself

I’m finding you

Episode 5

Carla Morrison – Eres tú ; Ben and Devi say goodbye to each other after their bet at the coffeehouse

(I found a translation for this one)

Today I woke up wanting to kiss you

I have a thirst to caress you

Entangle myself with you and not let you go

You’re so intoxicating

It’s you

Episode 10

“Because I’ll miss you. A lot.”

“Wait. There’s the stomach knots.”

Jaguar Sun – Car Keys

Oh, how you’ve grown

Look back now

And move on

Don’t worry, about a thing

Just grab those car keys

And drive into the rain

Another song involving cars, driving… I’m starting to think all of this makes sense! Also I love how the song mentions growth because Devi did grow so much in season 3.

Prinze George – Take off

Saw you in the living room

You were wild with light and I wanted you

Tried to do the woman thing

I was eager, young and abandoning

I would force you to love me

I would force you to stay

I would force you to love me

I would stand in your way

And you can’t take off without me now

After Boys Like You this has to be my favorite NHIE song. It also has an 80s vibe to it and the two songs feel very much connected in my mind. The lyrics talk about standing in a lover’s way. Preventing them from leaving you and closing that chapter of their life.

I am still in your way

This lyric that appears later in the song shows that after everything that happened to them in season 4, they are still in each other’s way. They can’t forget about each other even after actively pursuing other people.

After analyzing so many songs, I really have to give credit to the show. Most of these were chosen so carefully to fit certain moments. You can really tell the show was made with a lot of intention and love, at least soundtrack wise.

As far as proving who the main couple (endgame couple, whatever you wanna call it) in season 4 is, to me that is pretty obvious even without the support of the soundtrack. I’m very curious about the songs we’ll get to hear in the new season and I also wonder if we will hear some old ones again.

Let me know what you think!

103 notes · View notes