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The total number of visits Tumblr.com received during January 2021 is 327 million.
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A screenplay adaptation based on Zero by Emily James.
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Amber is happy. She loves her wife, Sabrina, and they are expecting their first child together soon. But their family is torn apart with one phone call. Amber is then left to pick up the pieces, and she learns more about Sabrina than she ever expected. How far would you go to reconnect with the one you love?
A supernatural thriller podcast that will give you goosebumps.
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A fictional podcast about if holidays were personified.
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The Missing Dot (An Epistolary Short Story)
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
From: [email protected]
Date: December 24, 2020 at 11:59 PM
Jordan. This is ridiculous. I know that you’re upset, but things aren’t gonna get any better by ignoring me. You didn’t need to block my number. Or all of my social media accounts. Just let me explain what happened! It’s almost Christmas, I want us to be happy. I love you. You have to know that. Please, call me back.
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: December 25, 2020 at 8:13 AM
I have to say I really wasn’t expecting an email like that to start off my Christmas morning. I mostly just get things from my old college asking me to donate money I don’t have, or newsletters I can never seem to unsubscribe from. As interesting as your email was, I’m sorry to say that you have the wrong email address. It also seems as though you have some relationship problems. Luckily (or not), I don’t have any plans for today. And I’m invested in your story now. So, fill me in and maybe I can help?
– Not The Jordan You Expected
From: [email protected] Date: December 25, 2020 at 9:29 PM
This is embarrassing. Apparently, I missed a dot in the email address. In my defense, I was very distressed when I sent that email. I debated all day on whether I should respond to you or just pretend this never happened. Eventually I decided that I should, because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to right now. And since I’ve already revealed so much about myself, why not reveal some more? It’s not like you know who I am.
My life is a mess, but you know that already. Jordan, who apparently has the same first and last name as you, accused me of cheating and blocked me. (For the record, I would never). I ended up spending Christmas alone. It’s not the first time we’ve had a fight like this, but it’s never been this bad. Jordan’s the love of my life, and if we’re not together. . . I’m not really sure what to do.
Now that I’ve shared something way too personal for a stranger, it’s your turn. It’s only fair. Also, Merry Christmas. Even though it doesn’t seem very merry at all.
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: December 26, 2020 at 7:46 AM
I agree, this Christmas hasn’t been very merry. I’m sorry you spent it alone. If it’s any consolation, so did I. I don’t really have any family around anymore, and I never had too many friends to begin with. It sounds like your Jordan isn’t as invested in this relationship as you are. I couldn’t imagine letting the love of my life spend Christmas alone. This is a bit of a heated question, but are you sure this is really love?
As for my own way too personal for a stranger story, I’ve never been more depressed in my life. I got laid off from my job earlier this year and was unemployed for months. I found something recently, but it’s the kind of job I worked when I was a teenager trying to save money for college. I’m 33 now. And I have a degree that I went into debt for. But I’m back to making minimum wage. I thought I had life all planned out, but I guess you can never really plan out life. The same way I didn’t plan on speaking to you. I hope this doesn’t scare you off. I could use someone to talk to.
– The Jordan Who Overshares
From: [email protected]
Date: December 28, 2020 at 1:15 PM
I read your email over and over again. And got angry. And then sad. And then I just felt confused. No one’s ever asked me if I was sure I was in love. But I think I needed to be asked. Because the truth is, I’m not sure.
This is the only relationship I’ve ever been in. Me and Jordan have been together for a decade, since we were in middle school, and I always thought we’d end up getting married and living happily ever after. I thought we were destined to be together. But what if I’m wrong? What if wasn’t destiny that brought us together? What if it was just coincidence? I’m not sure what that would mean for my life plans. But like you said, you can’t really plan out life. And, as it is now, we still haven’t talked to each other.
I do think it was destiny that brought us together though. That missing dot was fate. We both need someone to talk to right now. I understand why you’re depressed, and I want to help you out of it. I’m as invested in your story as you are in mine. Tell me more about it.
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: December 28, 2020 at 9:35 PM
Thanks for writing me back. I also read my email to you over and over again after I sent it. And regretted every word. I thought you might just delete it and move on. I’m glad you didn’t.
As for me, I don’t think there is anything that can help me now. But I want to help you. If you’re not in love, then you need to leave your relationship. It sounds like you haven’t really explored who you are outside of it. You should. On top of that, if none of your friends have ever asked you that question, then maybe you need new ones.
– The Jordan Who Gives Great Advice
From: [email protected]
Date: December 29, 2020 at 8:22 AM
I don’t think it’s too late to help you. You can always change your life around! What are the things outside of your job that make you happy? Maybe you need to focus more on those?
Me and Jordan have been friends with the same people since we’ve been together. It’s a small town, there isn’t that many people to befriend. I guess they never really thought to ask me that question because me and Jordan were always endgame. It just seemed so obvious. But not anymore.
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: December 29, 2020 at 10:23 PM
I know I told you before that I needed someone to talk to but, really, I needed someone to talk to me. I decided a few months ago that I needed to help at least one person before the year ended. And I think that I have now. So, you’ve already helped me. Thank you.
I think you need to get out of your small town and see the rest of the world. It’s not all the same, there’s so much to discover. And you’re still young.
– The Most Thankful Jordan
From: [email protected]
Date: December 30, 2020 at 11:41 AM
I might be young, but you’re not exactly old. Shouldn’t it be the same thing for you? And why is there a deadline for the end of the year? What happens then?
Also, I don’t really feel like I’ve helped you. I haven’t even given you any advice yet. But I’m taking yours. I’m going to travel somewhere next year. I don’t know where yet, but I’ll figure it out later. Maybe I’ll make some new friends there. And maybe, one day, we can even meet each other? It seems like you’ve been a better friend to me than the friends I’ve known for years.
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: December 31, 2020 at 1:39 AM
I’m really happy to hear that Taylor. I think that may be the happiest news I’ve heard all year. I feel like helping you with your life has helped me with mine. This will be my last email to you. I think you got it from here.
Thank You.
– Jordan
From: [email protected]
Date: December 31, 2020 at 10:41 AM
Jordan, please don’t let this be our last email! I really enjoy talking to you. And you’ve really helped me. I want to help you too!
– Taylor
From: [email protected]
Date: January 1, 2021 at 12:32 PM
Jordan?
From: [email protected]
Date: January 3, 2021 at 8:19 AM
Jordan, I’m worried. Please write me back.
From: [email protected]
Date: December 25, 2021 at 12:00 AM
Jordan,
It’s been a year since we met. I miss you. It sounds crazy because we only knew each other for a week and never saw each other’s faces. But you changed my life. You were right about me needing to leave my relationship. It wasn’t love (or healthy). I made some new friends this year. Real friends, who actually care about me. And I’ve travelled, a lot. For once, I feel like I’m my own person. And you helped me find who that was. I hope that, wherever you are, you’re happier now. And that someday, we’ll meet again. Merry Christmas.
Thank you.
– Taylor
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I Don’t Know Where to Go from Here
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
I’m here. Where they told me to find you. I had to be fast, to keep the sword out of the hands of the ones chasing me. Although, maybe I should have been more worried about what was waiting for me rather than what was catching up.
The front doors were closed, but only as a suggestion. All it took was a push for them to swing open into the unknown. The old wood creaked like laughter, daring me to take a step inside.
I took it.
They said I needed to do this. The sword, which had begun to glow like a white-hot star, was our last hope. You were the only one who could unlock its power. We needed it to defeat the demons.
Like the ones scattered across the pews. The further I walked up the aisle, the more I saw. Shriveled forms with singed skin. Purified. Dead. How powerful were you? To do this without having the sword?
I got up to the altar expecting a hero. Instead I came face to face with myself, in the reflection of a window. Except, it wasn’t me. The person staring back had stars for eyes. White-hot. Then, everything refocused when I saw you behind me. Draped over the balcony, above the cackling doors. Same starry eyes. But no soul.
I did exactly what they told me to. Steal the sword. Don’t get caught. Find you here.
They didn’t tell me what to do if I found you dead.
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My Greatest Accomplishment (A Word Loop Story)
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
You told me you wanted to make a grand entrance. Entrance everyone who had the honor, or in my case misfortune, of coming. Coming here was a mistake; I knew I wasn’t ready to see you yet. Yet, I still came to witness my only hope ending.
Ending our engagement was what I thought was for the best. Best that we work on ourselves, our careers, first before rushing into marriage. Marriage couldn’t be the first thing I ever accomplished in life. Life couldn’t just be about love, it also had to be about being successful and thinking about the future, not just the “now”.
Now I get to watch you marry someone else, in the dress that you picked out for our wedding. Wedding you would have been my greatest accomplishment; I just didn’t realize it at the time. Time isn’t something I’m going to get back though, and neither are you.
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(This Story Was Written on a Combination Lock)
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
I noticed you on the first day of school. Tough, hard to crack, like steel. I stand next to you every morning before class, fumbling with my lock and my words, trying to get something to click. I just want you to open up. I wish I knew your combination.
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An Interview with an Essential Worker
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
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The surge of coronavirus cases in the U.S. has led many brick-and-mortar businesses to temporarily close and, as a result, lose revenue. While some companies are taking an economical approach to this by laying off workers, others are taking an ethical approach and making their employees their priority. One such company is Aerie, a U.S. intimate apparel retailer owned by American Eagle Outfitters. Known for their inclusive marketing campaigns and refusal to retouch the models in their images, the company has built a positive reputation for putting morals over money. However, they have recently come under fire from their employees who feel like lately, that hasn’t been the case.
(Link to transcript).
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The New Consumer Culture
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
(Link to original source).
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Working Through the Crisis
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
In his house in Staten Island, New York, Sean Edwards is finally taking a break. As an aircraft maintenance technician, he is considered an essential worker by the state of New York. His employer, one of the largest cargo airlines in the world, is allowed to stay open during the COVID-19 shutdowns. This means that he still has to commute to his job, at Newark Airport in New Jersey, every day. But right now, he’s relaxing at home for a week before he has to go back to work.
For many Americans, going back to work would be a welcome opportunity. The unemployment rate in the U.S. is at a record-breaking high. Millions of people are out of work, money, and hope. While Sean realizes that he is in a better position than most, earning an income during this uncertain time, it doesn’t come without risks.
He thinks that his employer, like many others, was unprepared for the pandemic. Resources like hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes, which used to be available in abundance on the job, ran out quickly at the start of the panic. The only thing the company had to offer was disposable gloves. So, he took it into his own hands to minimize his risk of contracting the virus at work.
All of his meals are consumed at home now. He eats before he leaves for his shifts so that there is less opportunity for him to infect himself by touching his face. When he leaves the house, he always wears a mask and changes his gloves regularly. He doesn’t take the shuttle bus provided to employees, which transports them from a remote parking lot to the job facility in five minutes. Instead, he walks for ten to twelve minutes by himself so that he isn’t in an enclosed space with other people. When he gets to work, he puts his street clothes into one of his lockers and takes his work clothes out from the other. He stays in his work van as much as possible and communicates with his coworkers mostly through handheld radios, phones and tablets. When he gets back home, he leaves his street clothes in the garage and when he does his laundry, he washes them separately from everything else.
Eventually the company’s response to the pandemic got better and they started providing their employees with more essentials, like hand sanitizer and surgical masks. Sean customized his mask to be more effective by adding a pocket on the inside and putting a filter from an HVAC system in it. Eventually, his employer got a hold of the highly coveted N-95 masks and issued them to of all the employees on his team.
Although he feels safer now that the company is taking more action, there is still a considerable risk of contracting the virus on the job. Several of the employees in his 2,000-person facility have already tested positive for coronavirus. Some of them are coworkers that are a part of his 80-person team. One of them is his colleague that he used to share a work van with. At least ten of the people at his facility have passed away due to COVID-19.
While the number of cases in the New York area is steadily decreasing, Sean still feels like we need to be careful going forward. He’s all for reopening businesses, as long as it is done in a controlled and logical way. He thinks that Governor Cuomo has been doing a great job handling the crisis and agrees with his plan to reopen slowly. It’s important to him that we not act too hastily, or drop our guard when things start looking up. For now, though, he’s just happy to be safe at home for a while.
In her apartment in Brooklyn, New York, Joanne Bridgewater has turned a part of her living room into a cubicle. On her computer desk, in the narrow space in front of her personal desktop, sits a monitor and a laptop. The monitor had to be shipped to her a few weeks ago from her office in Manhattan. The laptop came home with her two months ago, when her employer announced that, due to COVID-19, employees would be working remotely. She has them setup side by side as a dual monitor, the way the computers on her desk at work were arranged. She wears a headset that makes her look like a call center representative and uses it to talk with her coworkers on their daily skype calls. This is her new office.
She is another one of the fortunate Americans who have gotten to keep their jobs during the pandemic. She’s an accountant, so most of her work is done on the computer. Although it seems like she would have had an easy time transitioning to working from home, it was anything but.
Before she was sent the computer monitor, she did all her work on her company laptop. The screen is small, and her vision is poor, which made it hard to read the large excel spreadsheets that her company uses to store information. Before they had scheduled calls, communicating with her coworkers was a mix of long emails threads and missed phone calls. Her employer, like most, was not prepared for the shutdowns.
While she and her coworkers are now more acclimated to working remotely, not everyone has gotten on board. Many of her company’s clients and vendors still send important documents through the mail, which means that someone has to be in the office to sort through it. Her team arranged for a different person to travel to the city every week, but many of her coworkers live out-of-state and don’t want to make the long commute. So, Joanne became the only person willing to make the trip.
Every week, she drives for forty-five minutes to get to the office. She goes in the darkest hours of the morning, when the city is quiet and empty. She spends hours sorting through the mail, pulling out checks that need to be deposited, and sending copies of invoices to her coworkers. Oftentimes, she doesn’t get home until right before dawn.
While she’s grateful for the source of income, she feels like she’s working more than ever before. Now that there are no scheduled shifts, she finds herself getting up earlier to start working and logging off well into the night. One of her supervisors recently resigned, and much of his work has fallen on her. The company is onboarding a new client, which means that she has to go through a 10-day training course on her down time. There is no longer a boundary between work hours and personal time. While she does enjoy being able to work from home, she wishes she had more time for herself.
At her family’s house in Union, New Jersey, Gabrielle Francois is working – but not for pay. The department store she works for in Manhattan was shut down months ago, along with all other non-essential businesses, due to the pandemic. She received disaster pay for a couple of weeks after that, though not the amount that she would make regularly. The stimulus check she was rumored to receive is weeks late and she doesn’t know for sure if she even qualifies for it. Applying for unemployment has been a confusing and frustrating process. The only thing she can do now is work on herself.
She’s been cleaning and organizing the house. She’s been teaching herself French. She’s been taking online classes to learn about fashion buying and how to use Microsoft Excel. She’s been updating her resume and applying to jobs. She’s been busying herself and trying not to think about how worried she is.
After she stopped being paid by her employer and it was announced that they were temporarily furloughing their employees, Gabrielle decided to file for unemployment. It wasn’t a process she had done before, and she didn’t even know which state to file in. After looking it up, she applied on the New York state unemployment website – or at least she tried to. Every time she would try to apply, the website would crash, or the server would time out and reset her application. This went on for weeks. She tried to apply every day, only to become more and more frustrated. When she tried calling the unemployment office, she always got a busy signal or was left on hold indefinitely. On the day that she finally got through to someone, the representative didn’t have answers to any of her questions and hung up on her.
Fed up, she sat down one day to try the online application once again. For three hours, she sat in her room applying and reapplying until it finally went through. She had finally succeeded! She just had to wait to hear back from them. A few weeks later she received $600 in unemployment benefits from the state of New York. She hoped that meant that she would be receiving more soon.
Finally, she got a letter in the mail. “Your claim has been denied.” They said that she hadn’t earned enough money working in New York in the past year to qualify for benefits. She had worked all of last year, but it was split between her old job in New Jersey and her new one in New York. She wasn’t sure what to do. She had bills and credit cards to pay off, and she was running low on funds.
A week later she received an email stating that she was now eligible for unemployment benefits and to file a claim. She was confused – they had just denied her. But while this inconsistency was annoying, she was just grateful to finally be making progress. She filed her claim over the phone that day and is waiting to hear back from them.
She hopes that the email was a sign that things will be turning around soon, and that she’d be getting the help she needs. But, based on her experience, she’s taking it with a grain of salt.
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What It Means to Have a Sister
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
One day, when I was five years old, my dad handed me the phone and told me to talk to my sister, Gabrielle. I didn’t understand what he meant. I didn’t have a sister. I lived with him, my mom, my grandmother, and my cousin. I didn’t think that the girl on the phone could be my sister if she didn’t live with us and I had never met her. But I also thought that because my cousin lived with us, that made him my brother. I didn’t really understand how family relationships worked back then. I only talked to the girl on the phone for a minute, because I didn’t know what to say.
I met Gabrielle for the first time when I was nine years old. My parents had split up by then, and I lived in Brooklyn with only my mom. My dad would pick me up every other weekend and I would stay over at his house in Staten Island. When I was over there one day, he told me that we were going to pick up my sister from her house in New Jersey. Now that I was older and understood that she actually was my sister, I was excited to meet her. When we pulled up to her house, I was on the edge of my seat. When we got to her door, I kept trying to peek through the window. I didn’t know what to expect. When she came out, I saw that she was older and taller than me.
On the ride back to our dad’s house she showed me her PSP. We spent the whole trip watching music videos on it. When we got to the house, we played games in my room and ate dinner together. Then she had to leave, so we drove her back home. That was how it went for years. We would spend a day together at our dad’s house whenever I would visit him, but she would never sleep over. We never met up with each other anywhere else and, when we weren’t together, we didn’t really talk. It didn’t occur to me then that we could have a different relationship, that was just how it was.
As I got older, I stopped visiting my dad as often. I would only stay with him during the summer, and eventually not even then. Because I didn’t see him as much, I didn’t see Gabrielle as much either. We had each other’s numbers but and would text each other here and there, but we didn’t have meaningful conversations. Eventually our conversations did start getting deeper, but they would be few and far between. I liked talking to her, but we weren’t very close.
It wasn’t until I was 21 that things started to change. It was November and I had just found out that tickets were going on sale to see one of my favorite artists, Ariana Grande. I’d never bought tickets for anything before, and the process was intimidating. I remembered that Gabrielle had went to a concert earlier that year, so I asked her for help. When I did, I got a response I wasn’t expecting. She wanted to go too! She had been waiting for the tickets to go up but was still looking for someone to go with. That day we bought our seats next to each other and made a plan to meet up the day of the concert, all the way in June.
Our conversation didn’t end there, like our previous ones had. We would text each other nearly every day to talk about how excited we were for the concert, what we planned to wear, and what we thought of Ariana’s new songs. Eventually our texts shifted from Ariana to ourselves. We talked about our interests and realized that we had so much in common. We both liked thrift shopping and natural hairstyles and outer space. She was becoming one of my best friends.
When my birthday came in March, she planned it for me, and we spent the day together. That day she gave me a gold bracelet that said “sister” and had two hearts intertwined. It matched the silver one she had gotten for herself. After she had given me her gift, I pulled out one I had gotten for her on a whim. It was a silver bracelet that said, “choose happiness” and matched the gold one I had gotten for myself. All day we talked about how we had a telepathic connection. Now, not only did she feel like my sister, she felt like my twin.
The concert came, and it was as great as we had been anticipating for seven months. But our relationship didn’t end there, it only got stronger. We called each other almost every day. We’d make plans to hang out together. I even spent her birthday with her and her friends later that year. Soon enough, I started talking to her more than I did with any of my friends from school. I realized that I had someone who I wouldn’t lose touch with once we graduated. I had someone who would always listen to me, and who I could call whenever I needed. I had someone who would always be in my life. Now, I understood what it meant to have a sister.
When I was younger, I always wanted a sister. I grew up in living in New Jersey with my mom and her sister – and my uncle, grandmother, and four cousins. My mom is a twin, and I always thought it was cool that she had an automatic best friend growing up. Two of my cousins that I lived with were siblings, and they had a connection that I wanted to have with someone. No one else in the house was my age, and I didn’t really have anyone to hang out with. My cousins were all older than me, and we weren’t interested in the same things. I had friends, but I wanted to have someone who would always be in my life.
So, I was excited when my mom told me that I did have a sister and her name was Alex. One day she told me that Alex was on the phone for me. It seemed like she was shy, because she didn’t talk very much, but I was happy to be on the phone with her anyway.
I first met Alex when I was eleven years old. My dad asked me if I’d like to come over to his house in Staten Island, and said that my sister would be there too. Me and my dad were never really close, but I wanted to meet my sister, so I agreed. He picked me up from my house one day and brought her with him. I didn’t know what to expect. She looked like our dad and was smaller and younger than me. On the car ride to his house I realized that we liked some of the same things. I showed her music videos from one of my favorite bands at the time, Paramore, and found that she liked them too.
I started visiting my dad more often, just so that I could spend time with her. We would go to her room and play games together. We’d color and make crafts. She had a big collection of Bratz dolls that she was excited to show me, and I was also excited because I had a collection too. It was nice finally having someone I shared interests with, even if I only got to see her every other weekend. That’s how our relationship was for years.
It started falling apart when I was a teenager. Things were tense between me and our dad and I stopped going over to his house. I still wanted to have a relationship with my sister, but it was harder now that we never saw each other. We had each other’s numbers and we would text each other on our birthdays and holidays but our relationship never really deepened.
It started to get better when I was eighteen. I had started going to college in Pennsylvania, and one day Alex and our dad came out to see me. It meant a lot to me because it was my first year there and I didn’t really know anyone. It meant even more to me when, two years later, she invited me to her high school graduation. I felt like she was making an effort to form a relationship with me, so I wanted to put in the effort as well. When I finished college, I invited her to my commencement ceremony and my graduation party. We started having more conversations through text, and while they weren’t very often, I was able to learn more about her as a person.
Our relationship blossomed the following year. She texted me out of the blue one day, wanting to know about a Demi Lovato concert I had went to earlier that year. When I asked her why, she said she wanted to buy tickets to see Ariana Grande but had never been to a concert before. I was surprised! I loved Ariana and I had already planned to buy tickets myself. I was going to force my best friend to go with me, so I didn’t have to go alone. We bought our tickets that day and decided to go together. It dawned on me then that I should have asked her to come with me to see Demi Lovato. It seemed like we had the same taste in music, and every time we talked, I realized that we had something else in common. From then on, we started texting every day about the concert. Soon, that turned into long facetime sessions where we talked about anything.
Months later, when we met up at the concert, I felt like I was looking at my mini-me. We showed up in almost the exact same outfit! A guy working for the venue asked us if we were twins. It kind of felt like we were. After the concert, we kept in touch with each other. We were still texting and calling every day. Even though we didn’t see each other in person that often, when we did, we picked up right where we left off. Now, I had an automatic best friend who would be in my life forever. I had someone I shared a connection with who was just like me. I had someone who shared my interests and I could talk to about anything. I had the sister I had wanted since I was little.
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My Hair, My Identity
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
When I was in kindergarten, I asked my mom for a relaxer. At the time, I didn’t really know what I was asking for. I just wanted my hair to be straight like the white girl at my school. No one else in our class had hair like that, and she got a lot of attention because of it. I thought that if I had her hair, I’d get that type of attention too.
I didn’t understand why when my mom said no. She had a relaxer, why couldn’t I? The only reason she gave me was “because I said so,” and that was the end of the conversation. So, I continued to have my hair pulled and parted into acceptable hairstyles for a six-year-old black girl.
That was the routine for another five years. Every week, my mom would wash my hair over the edge of the bathtub and my neck would get stiff from being still for so long. She would blow-dry my hair before any of the water could evaporate on its own. She would comb out the tangles, which snagged with each pass of the comb and reappeared as soon as they were taken out. I would spend hours on the floor in front of her feet, having my hair cornrowed and plaited and twisted. I had never seen what shape or pattern my hair would take if it was left to dry by itself. But I had never wondered about it either.
I had also never wondered about the other girls in my grade school classes with box braids, or twists, or hair like mine. I was only interested in the girls with hair that was relaxed, or hot combed, or flat ironed. There weren’t many of them. And to me that gave them a sense of authority. They were mature enough to have straight hair. They were unique because they had hair most girls our age didn’t have. They had something that I wanted.
At the end of fifth grade, I finally got it. The week before our graduation ceremony, my mom took me to a hair salon for the first time. They washed and dried my hair like she did, but this time they straightened it too. They pressed my hair between hot metal plates that made it silky and smooth. I loved it, and so did the other kids at school. All week, I got compliments on how pretty my hair was. I hadn’t felt ugly before then, but now it seemed like I should have. I was never very popular, but now people who had never really talked to me before wanted to touch my hair. People I didn’t think even liked me wanted to tell me that my hair looked nice.
The weekly routine of sitting between my mom’s legs while she braided my hair became me sitting between her legs while she hot combed my hair. After a while, the hot comb became a flat iron. After a year, when I started sixth grade, my mom doing my hair for me became me doing my hair for myself. I would straighten it nearly every day to make sure it didn’t have a chance to get frizzy. If it did, I’d hide it under a hat or in a bun so no one could see it. For the next three years of middle school that was my new routine. During that time, I was constantly validated by my friends and classmates for having long, straight hair. Even though straight hair was more common now among my pre-teen peers, I was singled out for having “good hair.” It was the way I was identified by my classmates, and it became the way I identified myself.
But those three years showed in the health of my hair. By the time I got to ninth grade, it was heat damaged and lifeless. I had never used a heat protectant since I had started doing my hair for myself. During my four years of high school my ends started splitting and breaking off, inch by inch. But as long as it was straight, I was happy with it. I had never wondered what my natural hair looked like when I was younger, but now I avoided seeing it at all costs. Looking at myself in the mirror after washing and blow-drying my hair felt like looking at another person. The frizzy, puffy thing on my head wasn’t supposed to be there. I spent hours getting my hair perfectly straight, and I wished it could just stay that way forever. I hated the way my hair looked before I transformed it. It was worth the two-hour process of washing, detangling, blow-drying, and straightening my hair to make it look the way I wanted it to.
After a while that process didn’t seem worth it anymore. I was a low-maintenance person by nature. I was always sort of a tomboy, and never put that much energy into getting ready otherwise. My obsession with my hair didn’t fit my personality. I didn’t want to have to spend hours fixing it just to go outside. I didn’t want to have to care what people thought about it.
The first time I went to school with my hair natural, I was sixteen years old. I was in tenth grade and I wanted to experiment with different styles. I had an image in my mind of how I wanted it to look. Loose, uniform curls flowing down my back. But the reality didn’t live up to my expectations. Years of straightening my hair had altered its curl pattern. Strands would start out in tight spirals but would taper off into limp waves. My roots clumped together and were frizzy and more tangled than ever before. I tried a bunch of different methods to get my curls into the shape I wanted them to be. Braid-outs, styling mousse, extra strength hair gel; they never made me into the picture I had in my head.
Although I was developing a new relationship with my hair, it was influenced by the decade I had spent hating it. I wasn’t embracing my natural hair. I was, once again, trying to turn it into something it wasn’t. Except now I was trying to transform it into perfect curls instead of perfect straight lines. After I got tired of it not conforming to my wishes, I picked up the flat iron again. While taking a break from it had allowed my hair to grow and regain some strength, I had always held onto some excitement about how nice it would look when I straightened it again.
It wasn’t until after I graduated high school that I started to accept my hair for what it was. I was eighteen now. I would be going to college soon and developing a new identity. Why couldn’t my hair do the same? My new classmates wouldn’t know what I had looked like before. I didn’t have any expectations to meet. So, I started to gradually wean myself off of my flat iron. I’d run errands outside with my natural hair. I’d hang out with my friends. And eventually, I started going to class with it. It slowly started to feel like my new normal. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn’t see something that needed to be fixed. I saw myself.
I was surprised when I started getting compliments on my natural hair. That was something I had never gotten until I had started straightening it, but now it seemed like both me and others were starting to embrace it. Complete strangers would come up to me to tell me that they liked my hair. Women, with weaves and relaxers, would tell me that they wished they could do that too. Other women, with natural hair, would ask me what products I used for it. Wearing my hair natural wasn’t just a personal choice anymore, it was a statement. I was a part of a community now. Online, there were videos, discussions, and whole websites dedicated to natural hair. I found out about women who had journeys just like my own. We had experienced the same things and felt the same emotions despite never even meeting each other.
I started to invest more into my hair. Now, I wasn’t just taking care of it so that it would look nice when it was straightened. I was taking care of it because I liked how it looked already. My hair had gotten healthier and my natural curl pattern had started to bounce back. I found that I preferred the tight, spirally curls at the back of my head. I preferred the loose, wavy curls at the front. I preferred having messy, non-uniform hair. I preferred being able to look in the mirror and be comfortable with what I saw. Loving my hair was my new identity.
Now, my flat iron sits on the shelf in my closet, next to the hot comb, waiting in vain to be picked up again.
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New York State schools (K-12) will begin mandatory mental health education this July
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
This law will change the standard of health education across the state.
March 19, 2018
A new law mandates that all New York State schools (K-12) include mental health education as part of their health curriculum.
Chapter 390 of the Laws of 2016, also referred to as Mental Health Education in New York Schools, will go into effect in July 2018. Signed by governor Andrew Cuomo in June 2016, this law was passed with the intention to “improve students’ overall wellness”, including their mental health.
“[Mental health] is important because it is the most under-developed in the science and medical fields. There are many people who do not believe mental health is real because it is not demonstrated physically,” said Denisse Bruno, 20, a junior at Brooklyn College.
The Mental Health Association in New York State, one of the main supporters of this law, stated in their official review that “it is long overdue that instruction in mental health” be included with lessons about physical health and “made available to the young people of New York.”
This law makes New York the first state to require schools to include mental health as part of their curriculum. Other states, such as California and Minnesota, encourage schools to teach about mental health along with other health topics but do not require schools to comply (MHANYS).
Several students had positive reactions to the implementation of this law.
Jamora Huggins, 15, a tenth grader at the Urban Assembly Institute for Math and Science for Young Women, said that she thought the new law would benefit both teachers and students. It would “help teachers catch mental illnesses in their students” and “it would be beneficial [to students] because mental health is as important as regular health and both can help students in their future.”
Bruno stated that this law will ultimately benefit students, including those who deal with their own mental illnesses.
“Having programs that educate on mental health would allow for recognizing and classifying it as important. People that suffer of such illnesses will understand that they are not alone and help exists,” she said.
Mor Abed, 20, a junior at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, said that educating students about mental health “is important because it opens up a conversation for kids who might be battling with common mental health problems, like depression or suicidal thoughts.”
Although information about mental health was not taught in her classes when she was in grade school, she believes that it would have benefitted her had it been offered.
“It would have been beneficial for me because it would’ve been easier to deal with stress and anxiety in school,” she said.
Huggins recalled being taught about mental health in the eighth grade and stated that she is now “more aware of the main symptoms of some mental illnesses” because of it.
Although this law requires schools to include mental health in their curriculum, it does not regulate how it will be incorporated. The specific topics and depth of teaching is still left up to the schools, for now. This could impede on the true intention of this law. If schools are not incorporating the new content in an effective way, students will not actually benefit from it.
Bruno recalled being taught about mental health in her 10th grade health class.
“Since the health class was for one semester we were only taught of the [illnesses] that were caused by drugs, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression,” she said.
She stated that, due to the limited time frame, the lessons were not in depth and the information offered was insufficient and only showed one perspective.
Schools have had two years to prepare for this shift. Come next semester we’ll see what they have to show for it. At the very least, however, this law seems to be moving us a little further in the right direction.
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Neighborhood Policing Program in Canarsie, Brooklyn
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
One of several murals featured outside of the 69th Precinct of the NYPD, in Canarsie.
December 21, 2017
The brick walls encasing the parking lot of the NYPD’s 69th precinct, in Canarsie, are covered with murals. One of them features a verse from the New Testament which reads “Matt:5:9 blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God.” The peacemakers, in this case, are the police officers and neighborhood coordination officers who patrol the neighborhood, decreasing the opportunity for crime.
Crime in Canarsie has decreased significantly in the past year. Almost every major category of crime complaints has decreased from 2016 to 2017: including rape, robbery, felony assault, burglary, grand larceny, and grand larceny auto.
One of the possible contributing factors to this decrease in crime is the implementation of the Neighborhood Policing program in Canarsie in October 2016. The program was the NYPD’s response to the recent and frequent number of public spectacles between police officers and civilians. Their goal, according their website, is to “increase police and community connectivity. . . without diminishing, and while actually improving, the NYPD’s crime-fighting capabilities.” They seek to bridge the gap between the police and the communities they patrol by getting both parties more acquainted with each other, thus building a stronger relationship between them.
Under this program, precincts have been divided into multiple sectors which correspond to existing neighborhoods. Police officers patrol their assigned sector during the same shift each day, with the intention of getting more familiar with the people who live within their sector and their problems. Another main goal of this program is to change the public’s negative perception of police officers.
Upon hearing about the concept and implementation of the program, several people who work and live in the neighborhood expressed that it sounded like it would be beneficial to easing the tension between the police and the community.
Raphael, who has worked at the MetroPCS on Flatlands Avenue for five years, believes that “it’s beneficial if people feel more comfortable.”
He felt that it should be on the part of the police officers to step up and mend their relationship with civilians.
“If a cop takes the initiative to make someone feel comfortable then that makes a relationship,” he said.
Analisse lives in Harlem, but has worked at Rockaway Rx Pharmacy on Rockaway Parkway for a few months. She thinks that “it sounds like a good plan, getting to know the cops. . . maybe if we were to see the same police officers, like seeing people in uniforms continuously, then it might built the trust.” However, she added “that’s only if you’re willing to trust the police.”
Trust is one of the major issues the program is attempting to tackle. Although many people stated that in theory the program should work, many doubted if it would be successful in practice due to skepticism about the intentions of individual police officers. The lack of trust towards police is still prominent, and will likely take a long while to dissolve (if ever).
Despite agreeing that the program might be beneficial, Analisse admitted that she still harbors some distrust towards the police.
“My guards go up whenever police are in this area. I feel like I turn into a criminal,” she said.
Other people felt that there were two sides to the story.
Patricia, who has worked at Lucky’s Beauty Supply on Flatlands Avenue for five years, stated that “there are good cops and bad cops. They’re going to do the same thing no matter what neighborhood you put them in.”
Neighborhood Coordination Officer (NCO) Austin, who works for the 69th precinct, mirrored her opinion. He patrols sector B of the precinct every day, and is in charge of figuring out and solving the problems of residents in his sector. His relationship with the police department did not stop him from acknowledging both sides, however.
“To me there’s good and bad in everything you know. You’re gonna have good people on the street, you’re gonna have bad people on the street,” he said.
Others in the community felt that the balance was shifted much less evenly.
Julian, who runs Priscilla Jewelry on Rockaway Parkway, agreed that neighborhood policing is a good idea and that there are both good and bad cops, but also stated that “90 percent of police officers do a good job.”
He feels that more needs to be done on behalf of the community, rather than the police.
“Citizens need to respect the law enforcement. When you respect the cops, the cops respect you back,” he said.
Although the decrease in crime over the past year does correspond to the implementation of the program, crime in Canarsie has already been steadily decreasing for several years. This indicates that the implementation of the program is not the (only) cause for crime decreasing in the community.
Before the program was brought to Canarsie, community affairs officers handled communication between the community and the police department. They went to community meetings and discussed the problems residents were having, much like what the NCOs do now. The neighborhood policing program seems to be a further expansion of this.
Analisse stated that she would feel more comfortable if she saw police officers who looked like her, a person of color.
“If you see your face in someone else, you might be able to have a relationship with that person,” she said.
Patricia expressed that perhaps more training needs to be done to prepare police officers for the social aspect of patrolling.
“Being a cop is not only about protecting the neighborhood. You have to deal with people on the daily,” she said.
The program is ever-expanding, with more precincts being added each year. The end goal is to eventually implement the program in every precinct in the city. Currently, about 70 percent of precincts and police service areas (PSAs) have adopted the program.
If the program, once it is fully implemented, will be effective is a question only time can answer. NCO Austin remains hopeful however.
“People always see the bad so hopefully with this they can see the good side,” he said.
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Can Students Afford a Four-Year Plan?
by Alex-Nicole Edwards
November 06, 2017
Four years has become the official standard for on-time graduation for undergraduates. However, less than half of students pursuing a bachelor’s degree actually achieve this deadline. According to a nationwide study published by the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center in 2016, only 37.5 percent of bachelor degree earners received their degrees within four years of their first term. The study found that the average time of degree completion was actually 5.1 years, rather than the expected four. While this difference may seem slight, it has a serious impact on students who depend on scholarships or grants to fund their education. Many of these programs use the four-year standard as part of their requirements for eligibility, and the time students take to complete their degree makes all the difference.
As an undergraduate student at a four-year college in the CUNY system, the pressure to graduate “on time” is very apparent to me. I’ve gone through the process of applying to FAFSA only to receive no aid, and as a result I’ve been paying out of pocket since the beginning of my undergraduate career. I was initially excited upon hearing about the Excelsior Scholarship, the most recent and talked about scholarship program which claims to have “made college tuition-free for middle class New Yorkers”. This was a program meant to help me, someone who isn’t eligible for financial aid but is seeing my college savings slowly dwindle away. Disappointment came quickly when I realized that before I would even be able to apply for it, I was already ineligible.
Every program that is currently available for application, including the Excelsior Scholarship, on the Grants, Scholarships and Loans Programs page of the official New York State website requires that the applicant complete their bachelor’s degree in four years in order to receive the funding. This equates to being a full time student, and taking at least 30 credits a year. By taking 12 credits per semester, and therefore 24 credits per year, I had already been ruled out. My college plan is five years, rather than the four-year plan required by the program. That four-year goal, however, isn’t realistic for me or many of the other students who are missing out on aid because of this requirement.
There are several factors that prevent students from achieving the four-year goal. Many students, like myself, work while they are enrolled in school and do not have as much time to take classes. In 2017, 43.1 percent of full-time undergraduate students were fully employed while enrolled in college, according to a study done by the National Center for Education Statistics. Other students have children to take care of. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, “over a quarter (26 percent) of all undergraduate students, or 4.8 million students, [were] raising dependent children” in 2014. And some students just cannot handle the workload that taking more courses per semester would entail. I learned early on, through trial and error, my limit of classes that I can juggle without dropping any of them.
An alternative option to overloading on courses in the fall and spring semesters is for students to utilize summer and winter semesters. The credits acquired during these semesters would count towards the credit requirements of these programs and students would be able to space out their workload more evenly. However, students wanting to use this strategy would be responsible for paying for the additional semesters out of their own pockets, and may not be able to take the number of courses needed to catch up to their credit requirement. A simpler solution would be to just extend the year limit.
Organizations that are intended to help students need to have more realistic ideas of students’ situations and use that information to cater to students’ needs. Scholarships should be helping students to break limitations, not imposing new ones.
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