wordsidneversaytoyou

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

people pleasing

all my life i have always accomodated to everyone's feelings even to the point that i am already hurting my own self. I know what i am doing yet i always continue to do so. I dont know why but i guess it is just my natural responses. I do not like when people make sacrifices for me, when people adjust according to my needs. That's why I think it's also pride that's getting to me. I do not like it when i recieve help yet i always want to extend my help to others. This is probably my greatest weakness. I never want to be vulnerable thats why id rather bend over backwards for people than letting them extend their help to me. That being said, I think it is also more than just pride, i think i intrinsicly just want others to feel validated even if it means hurting myself already. I always try to make sure everyone do not feel like they are worthless to the point that i am already forgetting about my own feelings. The reason also why i appreciated green so much, the moment he knew me, i was still processing through my heartbreak with runa. I couldnt forgive myself and i always blamed myself even though i knew deep inside that if there really was a will there will be a way but i keep giving him the benefit of the doubt i always seem to forgive people and see through their goodness than the mistakes that they have done. the reason why it took so long for me to forgive myself. But green always reminded me to choose myself even when he was already putting himself forward, he knew that runa was still trying to talk to me, possibly flirt with me and all i could remember were his words telling me to not even think about him or runa nor anyone for once and only just think about myself, what i really wanted. And there i really realised what a man green was like. He did not use that time to take an advantage for himself, instead he really encouraged me to choose for myself and whatever made me happy, he was glad to support me. And that's why I easily became comfortable with him. I have always prayed for a man who loves me more than i even love them because i know how much i could love and as selfish as it was. I wanted a man like that. Even not knowing him for a long time. I saw how pure his intentions were. And even though at that point, I know that was not love yet, but I know there was care there. That is why I always want to thank you green. For all the times you have reminded me of how good my heart was. For all the times you have reminded me of all the good things I have done to people even when they've already wronged me. Slowly, I have remembered my value and I saw myself. Thank you so much for helping me find the happy me who I once lost loving and bending over backwards for a person who could not even think of all the damages he has done to me. Maybe he did, yet still chose to not do anything about it. And that was the biggest heartbreak for me. So thank you for coming in to my life and reminding me how a person who genuinely loves me will not be able to stand and hurt me. Instead will remind me of my worth every day and boost my confidence when im in doubt. Thank you for being my number 1 supporter. I pray that I do not take everything that we have for granted and may I always be humbled upon meeting you. Thank you. And for that I will also try my best to also choose myself sometimes even if its uncomfortable. Thank you :)

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

thank you :<

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

24.12.21

happy birthdyaya baby Jesus thank you for another year of blessings and learnings may we continue to recieve abundance and grow closer to you. thank you Lord for everything and please forgive us for all our sins, guide us in everywhere we go, please keep our family relatives and friends safe please give us more blessings to come Lord and especially the people rn in philippines pls let them receive joy and contentment in their hearts despite these struggles were currently facing rn thank you Lord we love you Lord amen

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

i just felt as if im being guilt trip to something i couldnt do. i already explained why i couldnt go and i said honestly too that i didnt wanna go but i was continuously being pushed and even if you say you didnt force me you still kept guilt tripping me i know its a joke but i also know that you meant every word you say there. i just feel as if i was very obliged to go.. when you said you just wanted to see jollens i respected that i wanted to see her too but the way you said it as if i didnt wanna make an effort to see her .. everytime we hang out even from the proposed camping that became a hanmer trip i kept messaging pauline in private updating her whether she rly couldnt make it or not since from my birthday i didnt even mind that anymore esp when donita found out apparently that pauline was already at chch that time and she couldnt even just at least tell us that she was already here in chch i honestly didnt mind that i am not saying this to show that i am pulling a card and taking revenge as a grudge because i honestly dont but now that you make it seem like i didnt wanna effort into seeing pauline i just want to show you that i really tried. i love pauline and i couldnt hate on her i understand when she chose to be with tina on the day of my birthday and i am not just saying that to make you feel guilty because i really did not mind that. tina is her best friend and if that was the only time she could visit chch and see her then i really do not mind. another thing i think i have is that i feel like we have some unsaid issues with donita idk when it started but i am not dumb when someone is trying to put some shade on me i am trying my best to ignore it but i guess ignoring a problem doesnt really help in solving it esp when no one is even trying to resolve it and i am tired if you guys are tired of me or mad at me upset at me its okay i will respect you and i hope you respect my decisions too perhaps one thing i ask is that be straight up with me and dont drop some sarcasm or shade or guilt trip me because i am really exhausted and at this point i think ive already had enough of everything. i do not even care about anything anymore. maybe its all just my emotions rn with everything thats going on with my life so i am sorry all too and thank you. sorry if i have hurt you or did/said something that has hurt you at least tell me what it is that i have done wrong so i can apologise for it thank you

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

Haii bb nako :))

Saturday 9 18 pm

Hopefully dili kaayu mo busy sa imuhang work ganiha and unta wala makalimut pag tumar sa imong vitamins

Humana goro ka pray nya natulog na? Ako mao pa pag human nako pray bb( Murag naay nangutana🥲) ganiha raman takong hapon maligo nya naabot mana sila jek bb nako, mao to nag sturya sturya mi, si dave nga nag yawyaw kay nahurot kono ilahang tinda nga pagkaon kay nanilong man sa ilahang balay ilang silingan nya maulaw man sila mokaon nya ilang mga koyug sa balay basa nya gutom, nya ila pa gyud kono gepa kape. Si jake pud nabasa ilahang platscrin nga tv, nya nawagtang pud ilahang balay, nag katawa koba kay while nag hangin og kosug si jake nag kaon ra kono hahahah. Nya mao to nag sturya pud mi bahin sa akoang ati og iyang problema. Nya nang hagad pud si jake nga mangadto kono mis dagat arun naa panud an, mao to okay na kaayu amoang sabot pag uli nila, kay ako man silang ge hatud sa gawas

Pag abot namo ila matits naka hinumdom ko....' ayy maninda man diay ko news paper ugma 🙃 ( nihangyu matits ako bantay) mao to sila nalang koyug

And yepp if you're wondering like a woman how naka chat ko? No wala pa kuyente bb nako and i think abtan panig pila ka buwan ko mabalik sa kadanghang nanga tumbang poste, grabe kaayu kadaot diri bb nako

Anaways naka chat ko because baka charge mi ganiha koyug si ate og chloe, jopay og jenny nanlakaw mi paingon petron nag offer man sila charge sa phone 10 pesos kada phone but dili guaranteed nga ma full charge kay generator ilaha gamit nya mapawn pawng og kalit mao to nagpa hapit man pud si matits og gas bbb nako nag linya ko taas kaayu nya wala pa jud payong init kaayu

Naka sleeveless pa jud samot mga 20 minutes kapin jud to akoang linya

Daghan kaayu tawo bb nako grabe as in nag dasok

Mao to tayming naka gas nako

Pagka taud taud na pawong napud ang generator

Looy kaayu kay sila si jenny tag 30 plus ra ilahang percent sa battery maayu lang ko kay naka 96 ( ahhhhhh sanaol )

Mao to nanguli mi perting inita bb nag bitbit pako sa galon ge sudlan sa gas, naa pa jud bag ge sudlan sa celpon, charger og extension wires.

Then pag human ana naa nako sa balay si auntie janice igsooon ni mama nangayu man tubig kay wala na sila magamit

Ako nag sag ob volunteer

Padung skylahan elementary kay nang bakwit man sila

Dayun pag human ana nanakay nasad ko ni papa nangita mi og water refilling station na open wala pa jud nakitan :(( mao skl kolang how busy i was todey like nibangon ko 8 kapin after ana wala na pahuway

Karun ra :))

Anyways its good arun dili kaayu ko mingawon sa akoang bb

But after nako mahuman og ligo (also i tried doing our research) guess what? Hays gimingaw napud kos akoang bb samot ganiha kay nangutana niknik kalit b ambot lang nganu ingon siya ' gimingaw ka ate khweny kuya?' ingo o, ' langga ni kuya si ate khweny bisag dako na ate khweny' iyang ge ingnan si amber

And thas it bb nako

Matulog nako bb

Missyou so much

Okay rako diri ayaw kabalaka

Skl bb sakit akoang likod i think because kulang og tubig akoang lawas kay wala ko inum inum like bb

Kay wala mn abli na water refill station, pina bukalan na tubig poso amoang gamit para inum

Nya lain kaayug baho

Dili jud madala

Mao to wala koy inum inum

Naka huna huna lang ko nila niknik og amber

Palitan nako sila tubig bb looy kaayu mga chanakz

Okay matulog nako bb nko

Pahuway napud :))

Loveyou and missyou So much

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

knowing that the person you care so much about is going through a lot and theres little to no signal so you cant even communicate or send any help their way really sucks. it may seem very shallow or oa to some. and perhaps some may even dismiss your concern because it seems overthinking but i hope you all understand how hard it is. not knowing how they are doing. if they even have food to eat, water to drink the fact that everyday those basic needs have to be questioned does not really help at all. The no communication i can handle. but, not knowing how they are doing, thats whats killing me everyday. to pretend that everything is fine while im out here living my life does not seem fine to me at all. everynight all i ask is that they are all ok. i have been staying sane for the whole week just with the thought that my family, relatives and my bb has assured me that they are fine. but of course they would say that. but seeing that the connection is still not real time you know the situation is still not fine. it is really hard to be on the other end and i know that you know what im feeling because we are all going through the same thing with everyone and our families left back home. maybe were just a little bit at ease because we know some of our families are in better states, sturdier houses and lots of resources but knowing green's state and situation this typhoon does not in any way make me at ease. im okay tho really i just hope you respect if i wanted my alone time and way of coping through it. thank you

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

tired

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

thank you Lord 😢

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

31.10.2021

23rd

thank you Lord for this day :>> thank you for all your blessings may you continue to bless me, my family, relatives and friends love you Lord. Please forgive me for all my sins Lord and please continue to guide me at all times and give me wisdom at all times Lord thank youuuu so much Lord I love youuu Lord amen.

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

confidence in love

you don't choose who you love, you just give it out without expecting anything in return. It is not love if you are not risking anything. Don't get me wrong but unconditional love comes when you genuinely give everything there is to you without hesitation or desire for a return. That's why it called love because reciprocated or not, you chose to love and to give that love. That saying, do not be hasty too and just pour out your love everywhere but that is okay too because when someone genuinely cares and loves you, i believe that they will never take that for granted.. so do not be scared. The right people will take care of you the right way and there is no need for you to worry. And if they ever do, and you begin to feel that way, then, they are only doing you a favour so thank them and let them walk away, you don't deserve that anyway. But don't let that be the reason as well to forbid yourself from loving and pouring that love to someone too. When you know someone deserves to be loved then go ahead. Do not keep what's meant to be expressed and shared. Love is being confident and that should not scare you ...

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

its so nice to see your smile again la i hope and pray you fully recover soon jud and you be back in your own two feet kanang magsamok samok nako while nagdula ko para manawag lang kay gimingaw and naboringan mahahahihi thank you Lord thank you la pwease stay strong always loveyouuuuuuuualwaysssssmissyouuuu1719199191 timesss mwahmwahtsuptsupp 🥰🥰🥰🥰🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

"i hope i can give everything that you deserve because you deserve so much.." thank you green :c thank you Lord :(

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

pls bring me to philippines ty

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

wowowowow thank you Lord once again you have shown me how great and powerful you are thank you so much for always staying by our side You are the besttt forever and i am always grateful for allowing me to experience your love each day thank you

your dearest child 🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰🤗

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

Happy birthdayayay Mama Mary thank you for all the blessings that you gave to us please continue to guide us at all times and blessing us every single day we loveee youuu and thank you for being mother of our Lord Jesus Christ :)) may we continue to live a holy life lead by you and God's teachings :)

[wordsidneversaytoyou]

Lord I know that whatever your plan is, its always for the best, you already know whats in my heart and i trust you Lord because you have never disappointed me, even though sometimes it may not be what I want or pray for, I know it's always for the best man sad whatever happens. I trust in you Lord that you will never leave my lola's side and i pray you would also give us strength to keep going Lord whatever happens Lord please just fill my lola's heart Lord even though we're very far away from each other let her always be reminded Lord how much she means to us. I also pray for my lola's behalf Lord, because I know if she was strong enough she would always lean on you and ask for your mercy and guidance but for now basin dili na na makaya sa akong lola Lord so i come to you Lord and ask for your mercy Lord please always be by my lola's side Lord til our last breathes let her be stronger than her illness Lord and take away all her fears and worries thank you so much Lord we love you Lord amen 🙏🏾🤍 I don't want to be selfish Lord kung naglisud najud akong lola Lord just please let her rest Lord but please Lord if my worst fear ever comes, please give us all a chance to say our last words sa akong lola Lord please Lord thank you so much Lord I love you Lord amen.