wordsfrommysoul

[wordsfrommysoul]

And here I‘m sitting again talking to the night sky.

And finally after a long time I‘m not talking about sadness.

Instead I‘m talking about love.

May you be my witness of a forever lasting story.

🤍 0310-1212-1003 🤍

[wordsfrommysoul]

Manchmal hasse ich meine Gefühle. Ich kann Ewigkeiten einer Liebe hinterhertrauern, die nie wirklich mein war. Es zerreißt mir die Brust und stiehlt mir den Atem. Hält mich nächtelang wach und lässt mich stundenlang weinen. Und doch erinnert es mich daran, dass mich die Fähigkeit ernsthafte Gefühle aufzubauen, so viel besser macht als dich.

[wordsfrommysoul]

Do you know why I hate christmas?

It's always the same... Chatting for a while and vibing. Ok let's meet, sure! But not for a coffee or a walk, no.

"You wanna come over and watch a movie?" Sure, here we go again.

Sometimes there at least is a compliment, most of the time it's rushing into kisses and touching all of my body.

Why is that the only important thing?

Do you know why I like poetry?

Do you know why I love stargazing?

Do you know why I love singing?

Do you know why I hate christmas?

Do you know anything about me?

No you don't, because that doesn't matter to you...

The only thing that matters is the colour of my underwear.

[wordsfrommysoul]

Shooting stars

You missed all of the beautiful shooting stars while loosing yourself in watching the satellites.

[wordsfrommysoul]

Lust

It began with LUST.

It build up on LUST.

It consisted because of LUST.

It existed because of LUST.

How could I be so dumb and believe it really is LOVE.

[wordsfrommysoul]

I think I'm not lost because I'm lacking of getting loved.

I'm lost because I can't give all the love that's within me to someone.

I love giving hugs, little kisses, bad jokes long after midnight has passed, acting like nothing else matters but us, listening to all the secrets and problems.

I love making someone feel loved and seen but I have no one to give that too.

At least no one who deserves it and is not taking it for granted.

Why building up hope when it always ends the same way?

Why helping them to become their best version just for someone else?

So I'm keeping it inside of me but also not giving it to myself.

I never really learned how to purely love myself. I only got taught about my flaws and mistakes.

And there is no one telling me to shut up because I'm perfect as I am.

And there is no one I can thank for that and in return give them all my heart and soul.

I'm lost because I can't love.

[wordsfrommysoul]

It started like it always does. Texting much, butterflies in my stomach, quiet giggles way too late at night...

Now you say your week is too full to meet, but it'll definitely gonna happen next week.

Maybe I'm craving your presence more than you're craving mine.

Not maybe...

It's just the truth I don't wanna see. That's why I said maybe.

Deep down I know it's another one not really seeing my potential.

Still I will waste my time and wait patiently till my heart gets thrown away another time.

An endless journey to find real, pure love.

The love that I deserve, because that's the love that I am willing to give.

To the right one...

[wordsfrommysoul]

Tonight is without clouds.

A clear view on the stars.

Feeling connected to the soul of the nightsky.

The anonymous lover I share all my secrets with.

Memories flashing inside my head.

The view slowly gets blurred, as tears are coming up my eyes.

Smoke is rising up the air.

Traveling through the silence. Through peace.

I missed you, Darling.

Hear my beating heart. Feel my pain. Erase those memories. Erase my past that's hidden inside of you.

The most beautiful eyes I'll ever be looking into.

Shining like billions of diamonds in a pure black sea.

My hands are getting cold, but I'll stay with you my love.

Tonight is without clouds.

[wordsfrommysoul]

I really hope this boy ain't playing games.

'Cause what he doesn't know is that he is the last chance I gave to love.

[wordsfrommysoul]

"The biggest mistake you can do is to trust someone. With all of your heart. With every piece of your soul. With your life. With your future."

You read this part of my little so-called poems.

You said: "But love is beautiful, how could you not want to trust someone with everything you have. That's a risk you have to take."

Very promising. Paired with the warmest, most soul connecting cuddles you can imagine.

Maybe he is the one who's worth taking that risk...

Here I am, with unread messages from five days ago. Listening to your music. Losing trust. Again.

[wordsfrommysoul]

Deine Augen

Deine Augen sind wunderschön anzusehen und blicken tief in die meinen.

Doch letztendlich ist dein Blick genau wie jeder andere.

Du siehst mein Äußeres. Machst Komplimente über meinen Körper.

Sag, siehst du wirklich nicht mehr?

Schau tiefer, trau dich doch bitte.

Sieh, wie meine Seele mit den Sternen zieht, wie ein Wal im tiefen dunklen Ozean.

Sieh die Narben auf meinem Herz. Die zerbrochenen Reste davon zumindest.

Sieh sie und werde wütend. Frag wer mir sowas angetan hat. Lege deine Arme um mich, auch wenn du weißt, es hilft nur für einen kurzen Moment.

Sieh die grenzenlose Treue, wenn Liebe in mir wächst. Es gibt nur ein paar Augen, in das ich jeden Morgen blicken möchte.

Sieh, wie die Hoffnung schimmert, wenn du mir Geborgenheit gibst. Hoffnung auf eine Zukunft.

Sieh meine Kindheit und welche Spuren sie hinterlassen hat. Gute Eigenschaften, die daraus entstanden sind, und auch schlechte.

Sieh, wie ich verliebt in jeden klaren Sternenhimmel starre, den ich finde.

Sieh den Ort, mit den schönsten Sonnenuntergängen, die es für mich auf dieser Erde gibt.

Sieh die Selbstzweifel die mich nachts plagen. Die Ängste, die mir schlaflose Nächte bereiten.

Sieh, dass Musik mich berührt, wie es kein Mensch je könnte.

Sieh mein zu Hause. Du wirst dich selbst erkennen, mit mir in deinen Armen.

Sieh die Funken sprühen, wenn deine Lippen auf den meinen sind. Feuerwerk in meinem Bauch.

Sieh welche Vertrautheit ich seit unserem ersten Treffen mit dir verspüre. Zwei Seelen, die sich endlich gefunden haben.

Sieh doch bitte all das mit deinen wunderschönen Augen. Dann bin ich nur dein.

Doch letztendlich ist dein Blick genau wie jeder andere.

[wordsfrommysoul]

And here I am.

Looking for you in every man I see...

[wordsfrommysoul]

I looked into the winter sky and said: If he is the one, let a snowflake fall into my hand.

And snow fell down on me everywhere. Except my hand.

It just got cold.

And so did my heart.

[wordsfrommysoul]

First I thought it's a beautiful winter landscape inside of me.

Then I took a closer look.

It's ashes falling down from the sky, as my heart collapses.

It's not my warm breath on a cold day. It's smoke, as my lungs are burning.

No sun is shining. It's a fire inside my soul.

[wordsfrommysoul]

I don't want love to feel like that one specific song.

I want it to feel like a hole orchestra playing in my heart.

[wordsfrommysoul]

I don't know if I really miss your love.

But I know that I fear the emptiness inside of me.

That's why I miss you.

[wordsfrommysoul]

I'm over it all...

I went on with my work, my free time, my life. I found new friends and met new people. I have missed calls, unread messages and open matches from lots of men. I party every weekend and moved from my place that reminded me of everything we had.

I wake up as always. Something is missing on my phone screen in the morning.

I go and make one cup of coffee. Just one. Only for me.

I start into my day.

Come home.

Tell nobody excitedly how my day was in every little detail.

Cook for myself and watch a movie alone.

I brush my teeth unhugged from behind.

I go to bed unkissed on my forehead.

But yeah, I'm over all of it. I'm over you. I'm over us.