wordmagician11

[wordmagician11]

Higher Perspective

So, today, I would like to try and reframe a perspective, and instead give a better way to think, a "higher perspective".

To give an example, today my parents were both gone, and my sister went off to school.

Being currently unemployed, without a driver's license at the moment (this is not to say I'm not doing anything about any of these things, but that is for another topic), and a chill percolating outside, I stayed home for 8 hours.

The things that happened in-between, the moment everybody left to the moment they came back. The things that happened in-between yet how it almost felt like nothing happened at all.

I tried to make some sense of myself, fending off that fear of boredom, of doing "nothing" by trying to do "something" which turned out to just be a numbing distraction, a slight curve around what one really wants, the 'blank page' I call it with it's vast expanse, almost like a mirror, showing oneself what they don't want to see.

I tried a lot of things, yet still found I felt restless.

The insecurities came in.

Hmm, maybe I should just do a bunch of workouts today, I'm not skinny enough. But if I do one, at least I'll feel good about myself?

Hmm, maybe I should just sit on the couch and watch TV? None of this will matter anyway.

Hmm, maybe I should just take a walk around the block. Just a walk. It'll take my mind off everything, and hey, at least it'll make me feel like I accomplished something.

I have my own little textbook psychology definitions for these things (this happened as a child, that's why I do these things), (ohhhh, the achievement = worthiness) yet, that awareness doesn't necessarily lead to immunity. Just because I may know the cause doesn't mean the situation can cease.

And for today, thinking doesn't lead to less thinking.

Yet, I had a realization, and I'm gonna take it all the way back to Rihanna's song "The Only Girl In The World".

What an interesting topic that was, being the only person in the world (to be fair, in the video, she was alone). Sure, I'm stretching a love song into something else but bear with me.

Sometimes I have the thought of sitting in my own house that I'll own someday, just sitting on the couch, doing something. And there's no one else around. Seems just perfect. But...

Here comes the cursed words.

We're all made to be social creatures.

In a way, we all crave another person, whether that be another person's touch, or even just their companionship, or even, just seeing them.

But, being alone today, it made me realize that I took other people in my life for granted.

The truth is, companionship is not something you can just discard. Without it, you'll begin to feel it's effects. It's like going without food or holding your breath.

You can cope, but a part of you knows it's not natural to be alone for too long.

And so I take today as a lesson.

It was not my favorite day by any means, but at least I can say I'm trying, and that my family members are home.

What once felt like a grueling process is now something I can take forward.

The takeaway is, I realize, all too well that current culture is caught up in movement.

Movement is good... Movement is natural...

But too much movement isn't good.

There is a phone (which I'm typing on right now), there is a computer, there is a TV, there is, of course, the Internet (not trying to sound like a Boomer y'all 😭).

There is so much to do, that there is so little time to do nothing.

Oh, bingo...

That nothing. That nothingness. Begrudged in its quietness. Nothing to fill it with. Nothing imposed. It just is.

I wonder if that's where the unicorns come from. If that's where the great ideas come and leave. That place... right there... that silent place, full of mystifying color, if you choose to see it, or straight blackness (still a color). Is that the place where Elon Musk got all his millionaire ideas? We'll never know.

But the point is, there is always so many things to do, sometimes it's too much.

Maybe doing everything isn't that important so long as we're doing the right things, and maybe everything isn't the right thing?

Going from here to there. And there to here and back all around again, racing around that track or hamster wheel only to come away exhausted.

We may all have our own reason for jumping on this hamster wheel or for running incessantly down a "track".

My own reason is that it helps me to feel enough. That, if I did it, at least it fills the void that not doing anything could leave.

Now, I'm not just saying for y'all to do absolutely nothing with your life, or let everything pass you by.

But, just as we need movement, we also need the stillness. And maybe, if we accept both away from all their perceived stereotypes, the stillness won't be so terrifying, or vice versa?

So, I'll leave you with this.

What hamster wheel are you running on?

And is it a dead end situation, or is there something you can learn from it?

[wordmagician11]

Introductions

Hey, my name is Mekiah.

I'm currently 20 years old.

I came into this app because I wanted an outlet to share my experiences, and possibly meet some new people who have different takes on things.

My idea for being on here is to just share things like it is a blog with some gleanings from it, almost like "life-lessons", except I don't want it to sound as sentimental 😂, you know?

It's about a person just learning things day by day, and extracting the good stuff.

Importantly, I want it to be a place for you to share your thoughts and feelings as well. To remind ourselves that at the end of the day, we're all really not that different.

Ok, that's all.

[wordmagician11]

Turns Out I’m Not Talking About Squirrels

I don’t know how many years ago I made those posts (probably in 2015), but now I am wanting to make some song sorters, here, in 2020.

[wordmagician11]

I was standing high up in a tree spying on a squirrel.

[wordmagician11]

These are some pictures I took of the nature, two of them I was standing high up in a tree taking pictures of the shape of the branches, the other two I was on the ground taking pictures of still leaves and mishaped trees.

[wordmagician11]

It is an entertaining video, i will have episodes about squirels every sunday.

[wordmagician11]

These are two plants I cannot name, maybe they were weeds that need to be pulled or maybe they will grow to be a beautiful flower, right now we are having some cold weather, it hasn't been snowing but there is a chilly breeze, I took at least four pictures of other stuff but I am sure these could grow up to be big beautiful flowers, if they do when the weather isn't cold I'll take a picture to show you it.

[wordmagician11]

It looks kind of like the secret garden in the winter.

[wordmagician11]

Reminds me of my favorite book Wildwood. By Colin Meloy and Carson Ellis. They are amazing authors.

[wordmagician11]

This cat is stareing, I don't get to close because she'll bite, although she is cute! She is my wittle furrieball! Cutie cutie fwends!

[wordmagician11]

This is the most cutest cat EVER!!!! His name is Galaxy, my little snugglemunchie!

[wordmagician11]

BAD HAIR DAY!

[wordmagician11]

Spongebob doesn't read a sign and fell off of a cliff!

[wordmagician11]

The room light is reflecting a little tesseract on the beam of little designs on this diamond shaped rainbow thingie.

[wordmagician11]

It is half slender-girl. I know it scary but it's a cute picture. Not as cute as little bitty kitties though.

[wordmagician11]

A marble knocking back a tree and bringing a new world.

[wordmagician11]

From my favorite book.