withallthatisleftofmyheart

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

TROP x @screenshotsofdespair

(screenshots via cap-that.com) (my other trop memes)

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Calling myself out

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Sometimes to find the light, we must first touch the darkness...

So excited to finally post this painting after working on it for so long! It was such an amazing opportunity to be able to get it signed by Sam Hazeldine and also give a copy to him 🖤🥀

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Part: 77/?

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

"Die."

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Adar Study

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The Fallen Angel

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Songs for Adar #15: My Chemical Romance - The Foundations of Decay

I've been listening to MCR a lot this week because they're back again and I'm excited about it. It occurred to me how INCREDIBLY apt this song is for Adar post-Eregion. I can't believe I didn't realise sooner. Imagine Adar thinking, "Get up coward," to himself as he lies bleeding out on the ground.

See the man who stands upon the hill He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done

And so tired with age, he turns the page Let the flesh submit itself to gravity

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain Now, if your convictions were a passing phase May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay

He was there the day the towers fell And so he wandered down the road And we would all build towers of our own Only to watch the roots corrode

But it's much too late, you're in the race So we'll press and press 'til you can't take it anymore

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain And if, by his own hand, his spirit flies Take his body as a relic to be canonized Now, and so he gets to die a saint But she will always be a whore

Against faith (cage all the animals) Against all odds ('cause the message must be pure) Against change (you can wander through the ruins) We are free (but the poison is the cure)

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it swells When the storm, it gains and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away And as you stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarm it calls, we lay in the foundations

Yes, it comforts me much more Yes, it comforts me much more To lay in the foundations of decay

Get up, coward

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

A bunch of studies of Adar being mostly smooth and smirky

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What if Adar and Galadriel had a deeply profound friendship? 🥺

Here's another little snippet because writing it made me cry 🤪

As Galadriel sat up he noticed that she was garbed in a similar white gown to the one he had been put in. She looked pale and weak but there was a resolve in her eyes that had not been there before. Previously she had had a wild and fiery gaze, this was more of a calm determination. 

“Adar,” she called out to him, holding out her hand.

Adar knelt down beside her and took her hand in his. 

"It gladdens my heart to see you have recovered,” he said.

“And mine to see you,” she replied, looking at him with grave sincerity.

Adar considered how strange it was that just one conversation could have changed so much between them. Before, he had not dared to hope, thinking himself and the elves irredeemable and irreconcilable. But in Galadriel, he thought he caught a glimpse of a better future. The two of them stared at each other, hand in hand, with tears welling in their eyes. He did not think anyone else in Middle Earth could understand him in the ways she could. It made the burden of hardships he had endured, and foul deeds he had done feel a little more bearable. He reached out to embrace her, and she welcomed him. With their heads leant on each other's shoulders and their arms entwined, they both began to weep. Adar felt profoundly present in this moment, holding and being held by Galadriel. Beside them, Gil-galad resumed his song about grief and hope. Elrond joined in. Adar thought his voice was sweeter than the scent of Lissuin blooms.

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Mulch the motherfucker.

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Sam is continuing with the Adar/Dad jokes and it gives me so much life. 🥹

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Elrond out there fighting for his damned life and Lord Adar just strolls up to him, scruffs him, and pretty much tells Elrond. "Now listen here you little shit".

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Someone might have already pointed this out but I absolutely love the contrast between Sauron "I have many names" refusing to own up to the name he is best known by in Middle earth vs. Adar, who fights for and works to uphold his name, even though it is a name that came from darkness and torment. Sauron will call himself anything but Sauron, but Adar refuses to be known by any other name.

I just think it's neat.

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Update: Adar tries to escape but falls over the impractical white gown they put him in and then Elrond combs out the leaves and twigs from his hair. It is quite funny and lighthearted so far.

Feels good to be writing Adar and Elrond an enemies-to-lovers fic that is less "lets kill each other" and more "ugh that guy". The two of them deserve the peace to be petty and petulant.

[withallthatisleftofmyheart]

Annatar and weaponised incompetence.

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My brother made for meeee