witchylesbian412 - Tumblr blog

[witchylesbian412]

[witchylesbian412]

[witchylesbian412]

I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

[witchylesbian412]

Where do you even find so many leches?

[witchylesbian412]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[witchylesbian412]

For today’s story I will tell you guys the progression of my gay. So it started in elementary school, now growing up with a religious family and Hispanic on top of that made it very set in stone from an early age that there was no room for homosexuality or even knowing one, even though my family was “ok with people being gay” they would always say some side remark about them that would rub me the wrong way and make me mad but I could never express my anger out of fear of being outed. So in elementary school I wanna say 3rd or 4th grade I hung out with a guy and a girl and I noticed I would always gravitate towards the girl when it came to “who is cuter” but I never knew why, I just thought these emotions I was feeling were part of friendship, BOY WAS I WRONG. Later in life it became apparent to me that I definitely liked girls it was who I was so in an effort to save my dumbass from accidentally outing myself to my family or close friends who could tell my family I went out and started dating a bunch of guys, I mean every week I would be flirting with a new guy, now I had low self esteem but that didn’t stop me. After kissing, groping, touching and other rated R stuff was done at the tender age of 13 I realized…”men are gross and penis makes me uncomfortable” I then went on to high school and had now found the courage to not only come out to myself but to my close friends, only problem was all that came out was “I’m bisexual” even though deep down I could not picture myself marrying a man I felt that if I said I was a lesbian I would get publicly shamed and wouldn’t have friends for the rest of my 4 years of high school. So I went on to date more guys…and girls which only confirmed my gut feeling more. This one girl in particular I met and she wanted to date me so bad but would only do it if I came out to my mom because she would be kept a secret….I cannot stress enough how selfish and gross this is. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have supportive families and some get killed for being gay, I didn’t want to find out either way so I cut off all contact with her and kept the secret for another 2 years of high school, and then came college….still at home and still in the closet, but! 3 years in I meet a girl. Her name *Lilybug* for privacy reasons I won’t disclose her real name. I have been with her for over 2 years now, she is the love of my life and the courage I needed to finally come out and leave my house. Although my experience coming out to my family wasn’t the most pleasant it paved the way for me to form a new family and friends that accept me for who I am no matter what. I cannot change the way I was born, the way I have felt for over 15 years and it should stop you. It’s very scary but eventually the truth will come out because you aren’t going to change and you shouldn’t change to please those around you. You have to make the most of your youth and live it being your true self. What was your coming out experience?

[witchylesbian412]

You know when you walk into a room and just feel like you are watching yourself do something because you have done this task a million times and can basically do it with your eyes closed at this point. I love it, even though it may get boring I rather have that same task everyday than have change, I hate change so much. It makes me uncomfortable but at the same time, I need change with something’s in life. Maybe the reason I am as depressed as I am is because I don’t change much. Things I know I would never change? My girlfriend, she is perfect, she lights up my life and I wish she could see how much she does for me even when she isn’t directly with me. Living with your significant other can either be amazing or terrifying, for me it meant change but a change I was willing to make work if it meant I got to be with her more than just over a phone screen. It was still scary as heck though, having to move states, pick up my life and start over without knowing anyone but this one person, it was a risk I was willing to take and never once regretted it. So why can’t I handle change with other things? I have my first day of my new job coming up soon and that’ll be another big change for me, I can’t mess up and I dread to leave the comfort I had for 1 year at this old job but it a better opportunity and it’ll help me build my career. Idk, what do y’all think about change?

[witchylesbian412]

I think I may use this as a journal of sorts, maybe I can become big and help people with stuff. I can give advice and tell my story. I’ll post a daily song, music is helpful I think, it helps with stress and anxiety, I find it to be very comforting to just put in headphones and get into your own little world, the same way reading a book transports me into the setting and the story, a song can make me vividly picture my life in a different way. I will listen to a song and make a scenario in which I am a different person, I have a new name and I look a certain way. If it can help me through my darkest times, it can help someone else. I love helping people.