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Me: is this job really worth it????

My bills:

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New Years resolutions...everyone’s got ‘em right?

What I have been thinking about at the clopen of 2018/2019 is that I really want to stop feeling stuck. I want to stop looking to the past and wishing I’d done things differently. I want to stop longing for a seemingly distant future where my life feels settled. I’m done allowing the present to merely be a space between past and future.

In general my “New Years resolution” is to act right now according to what I want. To me this means making in-the-moment decisions to move myself closer to my goals on a regular basis. I am talking about having a total habit make over. It’s going to be all about active little changes in my behavior that contribute to a more positive out-look. My resolutions aren’t band-aids to my problems or back door entires into a positive mindset in an attempt to subconsciously get my butt in gear. No mantras where I look my reflection in the eye every morning and tell myself I’m a bad ass, no affirmation journals before bed time. This “habit makeover” is about addressing the stuff I don’t want to admit I’ve been slacking on RIGHT NOW.

I’m gonna own up to some of these things right now...out loud...on the internet...where these things may haunt me forever, so judge me gently. I’m sick of Laundry that goes weeks unwashed, and then when it gets washed goes at least a week in the basket waiting to be put away. I’m done avoiding answering calls from unknown numbers because I already know it’s a debt collector and I already spent my pay check on things I just can’t live with out. It’s time to stop sugar coating conversations that don’t even need to be awkward with customers and employees at work out of fear that I’ll say something wrong and throw my work environment completely out of balance. Lastly I’m shooting my own foot for consistently gaining copious amounts of weight every year. Whew, those are just the biggest weights of my chest at the moment, but I’ll stop there.

Here’s how I plan to address these through my habit make over:

•Tidy Today Habits: my favorite thing to say when the clutter in my house starts closing in is “Wow, we’ve gotta plan a cleaning day this weekend.” Hello, It never gets planned. The weekend passes by and I promise myself it’ll always get done tomorrow. So my first habit in the make over is to start tidying today. In one way that means every night I’ll tidy up one area before bed. In another way it means If laundry needs to be done, or if dishes are in the sink they just need to get handled *today*.

•Big Budget Habit: Let me explain how I used to budget. At the beginning of the month I wrote my income, subtracted my expenses and then went about my daily life all month never checking my spending and expecting to magically have a balance saved according to my fancy Excel spread sheet. Flash back to reality at the end of the month bills have been missed and my account has probably reached a negative balance more than once. Keeping a budget is going to be the biggest habit challenge for me in 2019. My first habit for the big budget will be to check & log my spending on -at least- a weekly basis. The second is that I take a reasonable designated portion of cash directly out of each pay check and strictly use this for recreation. With some cash in my hands I will leave my checking account for bills and emergencies only. I have other ideas for habits to make budgeting easier, but I can break those down another time.

•Walk How I Talk it Habit: Lately, at work and in my personal life my insecurities have been growing AND showing. My anxiety has also been at an all time high. I don’t want to break this down very far so I’ll get straight to the habits. #1 -make thoughtful decisions that I can not only be proud of, but that I can also back up with reasoning and good intentions. #2 -when those decisions are confronted or it’s time to confront someone else’s decisions tell it how it is with kindness. All in all it’s time to stop avoiding conflict by creating positive outcomes with my own actions rather than waiting for other’s to place demands on me.

•Treat Myself Habit: As much as I hate to admit it to anyone, I’m bummed about my physical appearance. It feels like my clothes are closing in on me. Even more than that though, I flat out do not feel good. I don’t feel strong like I used to and I’m exhausted all the time. My top priority with these habits is to center my focus on my health and my abilities, not my weight and body image. My health habit is to eat in a way that treats my body and ailments. My ability habit is to start committing to physical therapy after dinner every night and add in conditioning as I gain strength.

These are just the main habits in addressing some major dead ferrets that have been hanging over my shoulder for years. As I’ve been starting these habits this first week I’m already finding out that there are even more habits the contribute to keeping up. My whole mindset is going to have to change this year and I’m ready to document the ideas and epiphanies I have along the way. Whether you’re looking for secrets to resolution success or you want to see if I completely forget about all of this by spring check out my blog posts on Sundays to keep up with my “Total Habit Makeover 2019”.

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Talu Reis

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This makes me insanely happy. BEYONCÉ IS PROUD RIGHT NOW

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“I’m gonna nap right here next to you.”

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when i was little and i went to church people would talk about “fearing god.” they would use ‘’fear’ to describe like a way of respecting him while understanding his power and i never knew what that  meant until i met a fucking horse 

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spongebob critical

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📸 : derblacksheep

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At least they aren't running the country.

This lady’s eyebrows might even be a bigger disaster than Trump 

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