winterbears-things

[winterbears-things]

In next 6 months I am going to break free from my past relationship and move on. It was a good and healthy relationship but his habits destroyed i. He thought of himself the most doing all kind of addictions and never thinking about me. So now he is in a rehabilitation centre and I am going to build my own life, because I am a self centred person too. First I thought I will wait for him and this that but now when I think the possibilities I am just making a fool out of myself. I leave my past for a better future and I will never love again.

[winterbears-things]

I know I did something really stupid, and insulting an old person while joking is not good but according to the situation I had too. Otherwise it could have been more complicated for me. I get the point you are more worried about what others will think, what about me? I m self centred and selfish and I want my happiness more than anything else but they think money is everything and flaunting wealth is everything. If I die they will be happy? Or if I just disappear from their life they will feel better? Some parents really don't deserve to be parents. I will really leave everything and go far away from everyone so that no one can be sad because of me again. This is the last time I disappointed them, it won't happen again. This time I will prove myself no matter what happens. And even if I don't prove myself I will just disappear and make sure that no one sees me again.

これが私のピークです

私は人生におけるあらゆる障害を乗り越え、何があっても幸せを見つけます。

[winterbears-things]

So my family doesn't know that I have a bf. I have kept it hidden because they are little bit conservative and are of old mindset. Everything is okay but why they are so worried about what other people will, what will happen to the respect that they have got, if I marry of my own choice, why are they so much worried about others but not about their own daughters happiness. Currently I am in a relationship with a someone who is of different religion, and for the future they are worried that my choice will be bad always but they guy they have choosen is already 29 and is not of my love interest, and I am really young for all these , I m just 22. How can they except that I will listen to them always, sometimes they can trust me too. It's not that I am child, I can take my decisions too. I hope my family could understand this.

[winterbears-things]

Everyone says girls are the ones who hurts the most but what about that guy who used to love you give you attention all the time, made efforts turned into a person you can't even recognise. He says he is improving himself but does nothing. Have no time for you as he has alot of personal issues to deal with but I don't know what are those "personal issues". I know love is not a easy thing, it means to sacrifice, wait, care etc but will he wait for me? Will he care for me after he gets me completely? I know it sounds really weird but sometimes it hurts alot because I loved you for your caring nature not for your money or fame. I just need you but really it makes me feel like a dumb person too who waits for your messages and calls for whole day but none of them comes. Sometimes I really regret choosing you because you can live without me but I can't. I guess I should make a habit of not getting attached to anyone again. I am really tired and exhausted now to make efforts. If you can't make efforts just tell me, I will find another way but don't treat me like a second option of your life.

[winterbears-things]

17th Oct was supposed to be the best day of our life but it turned out to be the worst. Happy 1 year anniversary to him and myself too. But he forgot I guess and for being the good girl I can't be selfish. 😊💔

[winterbears-things]

Am I really important in someone's life?

Tbh I really don't feel like that. Everyone has their own life okay I agree with that but that doesn't means I will be forgotten. I have to beg for bare minimums too. Should I live or just disappear from everyone's life ?

[winterbears-things]

Today I am remembering my old school days. It was really the best moment of my life. Missing those teachers who used to love me alot as supported me alot. I know it is just a memory now because after becoming a college student I realised in school the teachers used to be our 2nd mother but in college they are just professionals that's it. If I could time travel then I could really want to live my school life again and this time to the fullest with no regrets and all.

The adulthood is really bad and traumatizing.

[winterbears-things]

So if I stop reaching out for everyone they will forget me. Everyone has their special one in their life, I have too but sometimes it feels like I am all alone most of the time. He is ignoring as if I really don't exist in his life, and not only him but most of the people out there makes me feel a loner no matter what I do. It was really good to be an introvert as it was better than getting ignored by everyone. No one is there to reach me out that how am I, or am I really okay or not? Just it me and my loneliness. This world is really cruel for me.

</3</3

[winterbears-things]

There is an uneasy ness going inside me. I don't know what is it but I am getting a bad feeling already. I have took alot courage to date him. So if he decides to leave me or cheat on me surely I will die because my heart has became too much weak to this point that it gets suffocating to breathe sometimes and having health issues too. I love him to this point that I will forgive him if he does anything wrong except cheating on me. I m getting alot of trust issues too because most of the day he is busy and won't pick my calls and don't even reply to my messages. He doesn't have a idea what I go through everyday and he won't understand that too. I m too much hurt too but can't let him go. I just want him and I love him too much to this point that I can do anything for him.

[winterbears-things]

I feel like everyone has forgotten about me. I don't exist for anyone. If they need me they will text me other wise I m just a option in everyone's life. I really want to talk to someone so that I can explain what I am going through and how my overthinking is killing me, telling me to give up on everything. I am an understanding person that's why everyone expects me to understand everything they do even if it is hurting me as if I don't have any emotions. I m a listener too but there is nobody to listen what I m going through. No one has time for me just like the days are going on as if I don't exist. Why the people around me changes and hurts me always. But no one can understand what I go through everyday. What I m hiding behind my smile. Want to let go of all pain but can't because my mom won't have another daughter. Just surviving everyday and there is nothing to live.

[winterbears-things]

I belong from a place where no one understands me. There is none who could see why I am suffering. On Monday I got my periods but my boyfriend didn't even cared, I can understand that he is going through something too but I also need him to understand my side too, unfortunately he has been ignoring for few days atleast. I don't know what to do, can I get any suggestions please 🥺 from anybody. My parents priorities watching TV over my studies. Really good thing is happening around the me. Don't know what to do.

[winterbears-things]

when tae is literally 🥺🥺🥺

[winterbears-things]

So here I am again to write what I feel, even after knowing that no one cares about this anonymous person. I like to share it here because I am alone in this world even if I m surrounded by alot of people and it's quite okay for me too now. I wait for someone even after knowing that person is busy. I try my best in everything but why can't people see that. Efforts does matters but my mental breakdowns worsen the situations and I get hurt in the end. I get hurt by the slightest change in behaviour also. No one understands the person I am and I guess no one can expect Krishna. Traumas, bad luck in both friendship and relationship, depression, panic attacks, trust issues and mentally unstable with all these I try my best but get disappointed. Sometimes I really want to disappear from this place to the quiet one where no one knows me so that I can live peacefully. But I hope everything goes well in my life. All the best future you. ❤️

[winterbears-things]

I don't belong to this hookup generation. I really don't like how the physical touch is so much normalised now a days. I prefer the old school love. Gifting bouquets, handwritten lover letter, library dates , holding hands together , listening to music together and eye contactss. But this generation is more into hookups than eye contacts. I prefer to be the oldie rather than being cool. Sometimes I really want to have a time machine so that I can go back to that old days were eye contacts and getting blushed was cool, holding hand was an achievement, and in the end love was unconditional♡

[winterbears-things]

It is my fault. Again again and again can't they see the panic attacks I get because I talk to them. Just getting hurt for few words and i m being sorry but what about me, my panic attacks and the depression. Just want to escape this reality......!!! I JUST HATE THEM NOW!!!!!

[winterbears-things]

Life becoming worse and worse day by day. Feel like I was never meant for this world. I m trying my best and hardest to get results but the still becoming a failure. Most disappointed thing is i can't give my parents what they deserved except pain. I just cut my hands but there is no one to draw star over them. The person i neede most was there but not physically. I feel like dying is not the option but i can't take anymore. I m just becoming the villain of my parents story. </3

[winterbears-things]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳