winnie-hd

[winnie-hd]

Void

The void, oh the beautiful void!

Where nothingness feels good,

and emptiness is full..

Sadness and Happiness,

Two sides of one coin.

A beautiful Golden coin!

for if one disappears..

the other belongs to the void!

H.D winnie

[winnie-hd]

and I try to run away from you into sleeping.

only to find you waiting there for me in my dreams

[winnie-hd]

like the notes prayed over the strings of a violin, i pray and replay our memories.

sitting in front of a music sheet for hours,

and while you memorize the curves spread on white paper,

i draw the curving stars over my head and the music draws me sheets and sheets of happiness.

we sketch our hands and a future where you collect sketches by yourself,

and while i painted you on a chilly october night,

you were busy looking away in a perfectly still pose.

i've spent the years collecting artwork,

did i know all along that it wouldn't last?

the rolls of film i've desperately grasped at before they roll before my eyes,

and the tear stricken nights watching the eyes roll to the memory of them.

[winnie-hd]

sometimes, i feel like i am being punished. when i spend my nights thinking of you, when i spend my days waiting for you to talk to me, to notice me. it feels like i am being suffocated, as if someone wants me to suffer and watch myself as i struggle to forget the one single thing i am supposed to forget and let go. it hurts to miss you, it's so hard to stop thinking of you and it's so hard to let the image i have of you go, even though it's long gone. it hurts to walk with a heavy heart, that only gets heavier. i hurts because i feel like i'm pushed down, because i can't move forward. and i will never admit that it hurts, because that's what hurts me the most. i always let this tide take me. but answer me, how do i always forget i dont have the power to hold it down?

[winnie-hd]

sometimes you talk about love, you talk about what you want and you tell us whom you're waiting for. sometimes, you fanatize about your future, who you're gonna hug and who you're waiting for. sometimes, you smile as you tell us how much you want to feel someone grow along side you and how happy you feel when you hug the person you're longing for. and i smile back. i laugh back. and i look at you and tell you that sure is great, that you're gonna get it all, that you won't have to imagine forever. i don't know whom you're talking about, i don't know who makes you dream and smile and i don't know who keeps you up at night. but i know it isn't me.

sometimes, i beg for ignorance.