whiterunguardnumber184

[whiterunguardnumber184]

This era, afuckingpparently

Who in Oblivion started necromancing dragons again???

Helgen got fucking murked and Kynesgeove had a scuffle too

Whiterun was lucky that psycho who fuckin' slaughtered every last rabbit, hare, deer, and giant from there to that old ruin place and back finally got off his hind after bleeding us all dry with daggers and miscellaneous bullshit and GODS SO MANY DAMNED SOUL GEMS!!!!

He bought one and poor Lydia up in Dragonsreach (dragonsreach lol) got her job turned into a reality-altering walking luggage girl for soul gems and misc items galore.

Talos damn me, I'm going on a rant, I think. Lots have been on my chest. Just got help from an elf group when me and a recent Falkreath carriage were getting robbed by a bandit lot(thank Talos they were there. We had two dudes with a war axe and a mace with maybe one guy in the back with a dagger and they were six with heavy weapons and shields). Not to mention this whole... dragon-escapade going on.

OK I'll bite. What's dragon age

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Holy shit I though I lost this artifact in the dragon attack

Holy shit right there was a dragon attack awhile ago I forgot to blog about it

By the nine, I need to start being more vocal about this all

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Very true. Amazing guy. Trust me, I am John Skyrim

Cunk on Nirn Part 4: Nordic Culture thanks @themapleleafdiaries for the idea

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Truest shit I've seen in a while

I’ve come to make an announcement: Hermaeus Mora’s a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right. He took his Daedric fuckin’ tentacle dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that’s disgusting. So I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Hermaeus Mora, you got a small dick. It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like. That’s right, baby. Tall points, no tentacles, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck Apocrypha. That’s right, this is what you get! My SUPER DRAGONBORN PISS! Except I’m not gonna piss on Aprocrypha. I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on TAMRIEEEEEL! How do you like that, ALDUIN? I PISSED ON TAMRIEL, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

[whiterunguardnumber184]

I have and it's like one of those washable tattoo stickers you get as a kid in a fair or something but it gets painted onto you

have you ever had henna?

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Heard they're reforming the Dawnga-

Fucking sneak-thief...

*right clicks on you*

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Hail. I am Valo Beastrider of Whiterun, son of Kor, son of Maluth. I am a post-changing guardsman of Whiterun, Skyrim and I live mainly outside of castle walls, when not bunking in the barracks. I am an owner of two beautiful cows of the Highland variety and mildly safe when it comes to magic(I wouldn't say good, but I can hold a flames spell out without caramelizing my skin off or commiting arson via explosion or spellclog(a type of accident where spells don't cast right away, but instead build up and pop like like a stone near fire. Different from the immediate and comical –mainly– smoke explosion. I have a few books on the subject of the arcane at my home)). I am, as my neighbor and frequent travel-accompany says "a master poorman". Though, she's just petty that once got a bottle of Argonian Bloodwine for a trip to Mortholme for 25 gold while for the trips that she goes on herself she has to have a separate budget planned out to bring it back to her nana. I've also once picked up a drunkard like a log and came back to a lot of eyes looking my way. He was fat as food let him be, but it wasn't that hard, if I'm honest.

Reblog this with a summary of yourself and I'll give you a matching animal

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Hail. I am Valo Beastrider of Whiterun, son of Kor, son of Maluth. I am a post-changing guardsman of Whiterun, Skyrim and I live mainly outside of castle walls, when not bunking in the barracks. I am an owner of two beautiful cows of the Highland variety and mildly safe when it comes to magic(I wouldn't say good, but I can hold a flames spell out without caramelizing my skin off or commiting arson via explosion or spellclog(a type of accident where spells don't cast right away, but instead build up and pop like like a stone near fire. Different from the immediate and comical –mainly– smoke explosion. I have a few books on the subject of the arcane at my home)). I am, as my neighbor and frequent travel-accompany says "a master poorman". Though, she's just petty that once got a bottle of Argonian Bloodwine for a trip to Mortholme for 25 gold while for the trips that she goes on herself she has to have a separate budget planned out to bring it back to her nana. I've also once picked up a drunkard like a log and came back to a lot of eyes looking my way. He was fat as food let him be, but it wasn't that hard, if I'm honest.

Reblog this with a summary of yourself and I'll give you a matching animal

[whiterunguardnumber184]

They say this and yet Ultrakill, which combines almost every aspect of this, is one of my favorite games ever and it has a gigantic following on here

Pure hentail and gore 😍

[whiterunguardnumber184]

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Aye, I can attest to the fandom-specific and the reblogging one. Gone to the cluttered rubble of mistake are they now, but I believe that there is some semblance of healing within mine blogging

do you run a gimmick blog?

yes, a poll blog

yes, a corpo blog

yes, a country blog

yes, a "did x die today" blog

yes, a reblogging blog*

yes, another blog's evil twin

yes, an "editing bad posts" blog

yes, of something fandom-specific

yes, some other kind of gimmick

yes, multiple of these

no

*i didnt know how else to call it, but basically a blog similar to t-counter, uwuifier, hellsite genetics, etc.

*i didnt know how else to call it, but basically a blog similar to t-counter, uwuifier, hellsite genetics, etc.

[whiterunguardnumber184]

I wanna hear Thunderhorse while looking to see if any of the bananas are ripe

[whiterunguardnumber184]

BROTHER NORD WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE NINE ARE YOU DOING THERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!

THERE'S A FUCKING DRAGON ATTACKING FALKREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE HAD TO GET BACKUP FROM WHITERUN!!!

WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR GODS KNOW HOW LONG!!!!!!

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TROOPS TO TRAVEL BETWEEN THAT DISTANCE???!!!

[whiterunguardnumber184]

Aye. Just saw a group of bandits fighting a fire mage and a group of guards who were witching stations to head to Falkreath were gossiping about them when the battle was over. I mean, nobody stopped them, because that'd be like two Whiterun patrol guards versus an archmage and a group of half-roasted bandits, but still. May Julianos shed some logic unto them

As an aroace, I hate how people will twist every single action and feeling into love. Especially those that are directly opposite

Two people fighting? Stupid allos: kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Enemies? Ignorant allos: ...to lovers?

Two friends? Oblivious allos: no platonic explanation!