whereisloe

[whereisloe]

“I miss my wife tails.”

[whereisloe]

once a girl reported me to an administrator at school bc i was breaking dresscode and she didnt like me. so i pushed her down the stairs. i just kept walking and i dont think she saw me and i never got caught. i know she got very seriously injured and they had to call an ambulance and she transferred schools bc she knew SOMEONE pushed her and she didnt feel safe. ive never regretted it. its been years since i graduated and im on mood stabilizers now, but sometimes when someone is testing my patience i calm myself down by thinking about how good it felt to snap once and how i cant do that again bc i would go to prison probably

[whereisloe]

not a single finished story in the past 4 years of this blogs life. smh.

[whereisloe]

[whereisloe]

Rosemary

Summary: who would have thought that a small piece of paper could be the very thing that would crush your dreams with Arthur ?

pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!reader

content: suggestive, angst, hurt/no comfort (for now) probs grammar errors srryy

wc: 2k

a/n: hear me out, I thought about writing a jealous!reader oneshot with Arthur but,, I got a bit carried away and so many ideas came into my mind so I was thinking about making this a mini series with a pt.2. Let me know if you’d be interested in a pt.2 <33 (gif from pinterest)

Nothing was more relaxing to you than fixing some of Arthur’s shirts and pants while sitting outside your shared tent.

Seated on a small cushion placed on the ground with your back against one of Arthur’s chests your hands worked delicate but precise movements mending the cotton of his favorite black shirt. The rays of light sparkling from the east coast of the flat iron lake at Clemens Point casting a golden halo around you and the usual buzzing of camp making you feel at ease, letting you loose yourself in your thoughts.

During these moments your mind often drifted to thoughts about you and Arthur, the way he would make you feel all warm inside like a young naive teenager with just his soft glances and loving touches, how he would make you dream some of the craziest things for a couple of outlaws like yourselves like having a proper family with him, getting proper married before god and maybe even owning your very own ranch at some point.

Your dreamy stream of thoughts was soon interrupted as Mary Beth’s light footsteps on the dry grass could be heard coming towards your direction, with a strange expression you couldn’t quite decipher on her face and a small letter in her hands. As she saw you sitting down near yours and Arthur’s tent her fair features twisted into an anxious manner, her expression resembling the one of someone who just ate a whole lemon in one go, her steps faltering almost imperceptibly before continuing her path towards your shared tent.

“Hiya Miss,” she said in a chirpy tone, her voice higher than usual as she stopped in front of you, her eyes looking around avoiding your confused gaze as she played with the paper edge of the letter in her delicate hands.

“Arthur hasn’t come back yet ?” Strange. Her voice cracked a little at the end. She quickly cleared her throat with a small smile. Mary Beth's usual cordial and friendly façade cracked the more she was near you, letting you see her unusual unease.

“‘M afraid not, he said he was going into town for some ‘deputy thing’ with the Grays, why ? Did something happen ?” you replied imitating Arthur’s low voice and accent as you put down his shirt which was now fixed and your sewing kit. At your failed attempt at imitating his accent Mary Beth let out a small laugh, covering her smile with her free hand, relaxing just a tiny bit before regaining her previous composure.

Smoothing out the white envelope in her hands she handed it over to you, as you took it you couldn’t help but notice the sender’s name written in what you called a ‘fancy cursive’. You weren’t exactly good at reading or writing but the fancy ink swirls made out a familiar name.

The sender was Mary Linton.

“It’s for Arthur, it arrived this morning,” she told you looking at you with something in her eyes you couldn’t quite make out. Was it a shared distaste for the woman in question or was it perhaps pity toward you what you could see reflected in her eyes ?

You weren’t a stranger to who Mary Linton was, having joined the gang when you were eighteen and Arthur fresh of twenty-six you knew who Mary was, how she was Arthur’s first love, the woman he almost married if it wasn’t for her strict father not approving his lifestyle. The woman who completely shattered his heart.

You knew that after his breakup with Mary he was distraught, drinking and sleeping around almost every night before eventually getting one of the girls he slept with pregnant with his son Isaac. How he, from time to time, went to Eliza’s cabin and visited them, never failing to bring sweets and shiny toys for his Isaac who met him with a toothy little smile every time Arthur visited them until one day the only thing Arthur was met was an empty robbed cabin and Eliza’s lifeless body hugging Isaac’s one.

For almost a year you helplessly witnessed Arthur, the gang’s main enforcer, spiraling more and more into a toxic lifestyle. He began to drink more, often found sitting near the campfire drunk every night, his actions during jobs sloppy and reckless not sparing a single ounce of mercy for whoever dared to wrong him. His mood around camp bringing everyone down until one day you decided you had enough.

He had just come back from a job went wrong with Hosea, the older man's sour mood perceptible from miles away as he hitched his horse and quickly walked away to his tent, leaving Arthur behind talking pretty much to himself how it wasn’t his fault and he didn’t do anything wrong, the pungent scent of alcohol surrounding the space around him. Seeing the scene in front of you you quickly put down your cleaning rag and marched towards him giving him a loud earful in front of everyone in camp not caring that he was a 6’1 massive killing machine of an outlaw and eight years older than you and that you were the last addition to camp making you a nobody in the eyes of what was basically Dutch’s golden child. You simply had enough.

From that moment onwards Arthur started to get better, letting go of his usual whisky bottle and surprisingly starting to pay attention to you rather than avoiding or despising you, eyeing you with respect each time you expressed your opinion around camp, coming to your tent almost every night for advice or just to talk about life opening up to you about his family and past love building day by day an unexpected friendship which blossomed years later into your current relationship.

Seeing her name now again after so many years left you with a sour taste in your mouth.

You took the letter and placed it on Arthur’s nightstand as you thanked Mary Beth and began to tidy up your things.

The sky was beginning to lose its rosy color making space for a deep blue when Arthur came back, the gallop of his and Dutch horses announcing their arrival into camp.

You were chatting with Karen and Javier at the round table near the fire when you felt his hand on your shoulder, the scent of wood and gunpowder filling your nose letting you relax under his soft touch. He bent down to quickly kiss your cheek, a small show of pda which left you all warm inside, almost letting you forget about the letter. Almost.

“Hello sweetheart,” he said in his usual low tone near your ear, a shiver traveling down your spine at his vicinity a soft blush making its way into your cheeks.

“Miss Jones, Javier” he greeted your company before taking your hand in his calloused one letting you up from your seat and guiding you towards his tent leaving Karen and Javier sharing knowing glances between them.

As soon as you walked into your shared tent he made quick work of closing the flap before taking your face in his hands and kissing you. His soft kisses soon turned into hungry ones as his right hand left your soft cheek to trace down your neck then your collarbones before settling on your hips using your hips to guide you to lay on the bed.

“missed ya a lot today sweetheart,” he breathed on your neck as he positioned himself on top of you before kissing your sensitive spot, your eyes closed as your soft hands traveled onto his hair, tugging at his dirty blonde strands.

“got you in my mind the whole day, damn near made Dutch real name slip in front of them Grays. Jus’ couldn’t help but think ‘bout your pretty face.” he continued to kiss your sensitive skin, his words and his lips working like magic on you. His hands exploring your body inch by inch toying with the buttons of your white shirt.

As you open your eyes to look at Arthur you couldn’t help but remember the envelope sitting on his bedside table.

“Arthur,” you sighed trying to keep your voice stable but failing miserably as his teeth playfully bit your neck. The pleasure and the warmth of his body on top of yours was heavenly making you melt like butter under his touch but you were too curious to see what was in that letter to continue, your hands came on his shoulders to try and get the man off of you. “darling you, fuck, you’ve got a letter.”

As soon as you finished your sentence Arthur stopped his actions at once, his hands dropping on the soft mattress before getting up into a seated position beside you. He sighed as he ran his hands into his hair before taking the letter, his eyes quickly scanning the sender’s name before opening the envelope.

As his eyes read the elegant handwritten letter of Mary you couldn’t help but feel your heart beat out of your chest with anticipation, you knew it was stupid to feel this way but you couldn’t help but worry. Why is she mailing him after all these years of radio silence ? What did she want from him and how exactly did she know how to contact him ?

Deciding it was best to feign ignorance than to straight up get defensive and be viewed as possessive with Arthur you scooted closer to him, your head resting on his shoulder as you asked, trying your best to keep your façade, from who was the letter.

“Mh, nobody jus’ a sorry fellow I met.”

Your heart sank.

He lied to you. He lied to you without even an ounce of hesitation. A small ‘Oh’ left your lips as you didn’t know exactly how to respond, mind racing with many thoughts, the knowledge of his lie felt like an iced bucket of water was thrown at you, freezing you in your spot unable to move. A sense of nausea overtaking your body.

With a swift movement, he folded the letter and put it in the bottom drawer of the nightstand where other papers filled the small space. Turning back to face you he put one of his large hands on your cheeks caressing you with a delicacy that in that moment only made you further nauseous about the situation. His lips met your forehead, then your nose descending further down to your lips, too caught up in your thoughts you sat there unmoving. Arthur sensed your unusual attitude.

“y’alright sweetheart ?” he asked, you internally scoffed at his seemingly concerned expression. The nerve he had to be asking you that after he blatantly lied to your face.

“yeah just tired that’s all.” you dismissed him shifting on the bed and laying down on your side of the bed. You needed space to think, your mind going haywire. Was this the first time she mailed him ? Why was that as soon as you mentioned a letter he seemed to already know it was from her ? Why did Mary Beth act so strange when giving you the letter ? Why did he lie ? Why.

You wished you could let this go, forget about everything and melt back into his warm embrace, but you couldn’t. You had to find out what was going on.

Later that night when the outlaw was fast asleep beside you and the only sounds that could be heard were his soft snores that filled the space in your tent you found out that the other papers in the drawer were not random papers.

The drawer was full of Mary’s letters.

[whereisloe]

kiss me

“Kiss me.”

The words come out of your mouth in a hurried fashion, voice shaky and unsure. Arthur’s eyes widen at the idea. He obviously is surprised by the sudden demand, given the peril the two of you are currently in. Stuck in a small alleyway with lawmen close behind. He stutters over his words a bit before he can finally get out a coherent sentence. “Here?” he asks, the tips of his ears turning red. 

In all the time that he’s known you, you've never been so bold. Usually so timid and unsure of yourself, he’d never expect such words to come from your pretty little lips. And while he’s not entirely opposed to the idea, he has to wonder why you would want to do such a thing in your current predicament. 

You don’t back down though, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and crashing your lips against his. His brain takes a minute to process the situation, but once it does his hands are on your hips. He pulls you close, savoring the taste of you. Maybe it’s the adrenaline from running from the law, but he can’t seem to stop himself. He’s so deep into the kiss, he doesn’t notice the people on your trail run right past - no doubt embarrassed to have witnessed such an intimate moment between what they think are two random strangers.

The kiss rages on for a few more moments, before you pull away. Arthur’s hands stay on your hips, keeping you from moving too far. “They’re gone.” you mumble, eyes lingering on his lips. “Maybe we should do it again, just to be sure.” he coos, before catching your lips with his again. 

[whereisloe]

Tough

“Like a .38 made out of brass” ꗥ arthur morgan x fem reader

a lil dutch x reader action cuz i’m just that girl - warnings n/a

𓆝. 𓆟

“You have my condolences for your father. He was a very valuable man” You watched Angelo Bronte carefully from your black fan that covered half of your veiled face. You had to really sell this mourning look if you wanted to fool such a powerful man so, that you did. Getting all dressed up in your black attire everything matching from the black, layered ruffles of your petticoat to the lacy parcel carried by your escort. “Because of his loyalty, I will extend my offer of protection onto you so as long as we still do business together, hm?” He took a sip of his glass before leaning back onto his loveseat with his legs crossed.

“I thank you, truly, Mr. Bronte. But, the extra protection won’t be necessary. We’ve got our own guns for hire on our land” You maintained a harsh stare onto the man across from you as he savored another sip from his wine glass. He laughed amused with your simple answer before tipping his glass to you. “Ha, your father says the same thing. Like daughter, like father then”

“Mr. Bronte, I am no fool to business. With all due respect, I did not come here to reminisce nor, have you invited me here to, no?” Bronte gazed up at you from across the table. Eyes narrowed and unreadable as though he couldn’t figure what to think of you. “You are a very…smart girl” You felt your mouth twitch as he continued his speech. You couldn’t stand the man’s voice, how degrading his words were as you feigned oblivion to obvious exploitations that were about to leave his mouth. “Your father received 10% of all government related endeavors. Whether it was busting criminals or busting vaults, didn’t matter to me just so long as I got 20% of his business.” He paused as he licked at his lips. “Your father did not remain in good standing with me for the money. Instead, he wanted security. Security, that nothing would happen to him or his precious daughter while he worked with me, and security I provided” This man reeked on lies, your father had been shot doing a job for this man but only after he demanded a raise in his cut.

“I can assure you I am not my father. I am here for money, security is something I may provide myself” You gestured over at the guns you hired not too long ago before this meeting. “Daddy was never too smart when it came to funds. Thinkin’ our oil plant would be enough with no back up money to lean on” You lightly began to fan your face as you felt yourself get worked up. “Then we was robbed, Daddy may have turned a blind eye to it but, I ain’t one to show weakness”

“I take it you want my help with this” He gestured to the air before pulling a cigar from a tray. “this show of strength” You nodded and carried on with your story.

“Those boys you’re in good spirit with robbed us good and as a long devotee to your cause, Mr. Bronte, I don’t take too kindly to it”

“My dear, as much as I appreciate your kindest regards, you must understand this business. If I was worried about my clients opinions of one another I’d be the poorest man in Saint Denis. The most I can do is keep them out of your business but, they’re fickle men…not to be trusted” He blew the the smoke of his cigar off to the side as your foot tapped rapidly. You were ready to lay your cards out, prove a point that your father raised woman fairly gifted in her trade. “I completely understand, I just request that I may also be in kahoots with these outlaws”

“Why? So you can get them arrested?”

“Precisely, Mr. Bronte. Of course, on your word. But, if I get in good standin’ with the law they’ll send some men over to the plant. That way we produced more, with less risk” Your foot halted its tapping pausing as the man in front of you thought carefully of your words. On paper, the plan was foolproof and a win-win. “So, whaduya think?” You attempted to expedite the man’s response but was only met with another deafening silence.

“I think I’ve been doing business with the wrong (l/n)” Angelo stood from the loveseat before offering you a hand to follow. You smiled, accomplished with the reaction you received before resting your freehand in his. “I must ask one favor of you, though” You nodded before lifting yourself from the seat. “I need you to host one of my official parties. To test if these men can be trusted, I’ll give subtle hints about your booming business.”

“Are ya fixin’ these men to rob me?”

“I’m fixing you an opportunity to meet these men…” He took your silence as compliance before continuing on. “The plan is, you catch these rats red handed and negotiate, later you tell me if they’re treacherous. If not then I’ll set up a meeting for you and the boss.” He scoffed at word as though he was amused by the thought of it. “And do not worry, I’ll have men everywhere for this event”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Bronte” You both shook on it before he walked you up to the front gate. The sun beamed down on you the second your foot met with the cobbled path of the front patio. Your escort was quick to your side with your parasol before you could even muster the words to complain. “The details will be delivered shortly, a presto, miss”

Today was the day.

You could finally put the face to the name that robbed you. Van der Linde Gang. You sighed at the name, as you fixed the headdress adorning your maintained curls. You still kept your attire relatively dark as your father’s death was still fresh in the press. All you had to do was briefly preside over the party from your balcony, allowing Bronte enough time to present you to his friends new and old. Maybe you’d commute down to your gardens to briefly acquaint yourself with your guests.

“Are you ready, Miss” Your maid questioned from your balcony doors. You adjusted yourself one last time before standing from your seat. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose” You promenaded your way towards the doors as your maid rushed behind you as to raise the dragging silks of your skirt just enough to hover the dirty concrete of the balcony but not enough to reveal your petticoat or bustle. You stood straight presiding over all your guests that took it upon themselves to socialize. None of these men meant anything to you except two.

You noticed Bronte with two men, who cleaned up well considering their circumstance, as they prattled on about god knows what. That was until one of seemed to motion up to you.

Nice shaven beard, tall and broad, with a subtle slick to his hair. None of these men would be able to tell but, you’d been admiring the man from afar staring down at him with shameless eyes. “Miss, your stares could be noticed as rude” Your maid whispered to you having you straighten yourself out before giving the man one last glance. Now, the other one had looked up at you but only briefly. He wasn’t too bad himself.

Perhaps, you wouldn’t mind going downstairs and acquainting yourself.

“My goodness” You spoke breathlessly to your maid. “Aren’t they some neat lookin’ fellas?” She hid her smile as she giggled at your unserious behavior.

“They are quite the sight—”

“Ohh, I bet you were lookin’ at the boss, Mr. Van der linde, hisself, huh?” You waved for the older lady to follow you inside as you teased her with your antics. “Well” She began while she laid the train of your dress neatly against the wooden boards fixing the bunched up silks that rested on your bust, “I won’t deny such a thing” the maid smiled softly as you laughed, briefly allowing yourself to calm down.

“Shall we get acquainted with them?” You turned to your maid, fixing her cascading curls as you waltzed past her. “C’mon, this is excitin” By the time you and your maid made it down stairs you could practically feel your heart beating out your chest. You hadn’t the slightlest clue why you were so nervous like some young faced girl talking to a boy for the first time. “Goodness, I’m nervous” You turned to your maid with a hand resting on your cheek.

“It’ll alright, miss. Just remember, you’re here for business negotiations not suitors” She chimed amused with your rather inappropriate reaction. You laughed to yourself as her words hit you. “I’m actin’ ridiculous…alright, cmon”

“Ah, There she is, the woman of the hour” Bronte was quick to call as you approached the men now facing you. You felt your nerves burning you up inside as you grabbed Bronte’s forearm and greeted him with il bacetto, an Italian courtesy you’d learn amongst the time you’ve spent with Bronte. Once you pulled back your attention was instantly on this so called boss standing off to the right of Bronte.

“Missus (l/n)” The man held out his hand as his eyes never left yours. You smiled, masking the slight in embarrassment you felt as you corrected him. “Miss, is just fine.” You placed your hand in his allowing him to kiss your knuckles. Amongst all the intense eye contact, you would think with how you felt moments ago, you’d be a flustered mess just right about now. But, your gut was telling you something serious was up about this man. You’ve been played a fool by many before, and you’ve caught almost just as many amidst their schemes. That glint in his eye, even the courteous gesture was a warning. This man was plotting and it all began with buttering you up.

Subtly, you recalled your hand before carrying on conversation. “I take it, you’re the one that runs things. Mr. Van der Linde, if I’m not mistaken”

“You wouldn’t be, miss. And here my…consort, Mr. Morgan” You noticed the slight pause in his speech before motioning over to the other man. Your head was quick to turn as you stared over at him. Eyes widening as you noticed his attractive features now closely. You smiled and nodded as a greeting to the man. “Ma’am” He returned your gesture with his slight acknowledgment. Couldn’t really hear it in the boss’s voice but, with Mr. Morgan’s you’d instantly picked up on the western candence.

“You don’t sound local, Mr. Morgan. You all from the west, I take it?”

“We’re from all over, Ma’am” He was short with you and rather mysterious, more than likely to hide his western drawl. But, they’ve got something greater to hide, you could feel it. “Mr. Bronte, may I ask a favor of you?”

“Anything, dear” He took a huff of his cigar before you suspiciously looked around for any ‘peering eyes’. “I’ve got the money but, there’s been talk of some group of boys runnin’ around robbing folk—You boys wouldn’t know anything of them, no?”

“No, we certainly do not. Saint Denis is new to us as well as its crime” Van der Linde was quick to respond. You nodded and grabbed his hand with a feigned concern and furrowed brows. “You all stay careful out there. They’re robbin’ houses and coaches from what I’ve heard. I could lend you both a couple of escorts, tonight as well”

“We appreciate the concern but, we’ve got ourselves handled” He reassured with a palm covering your hand.

“Alright, alright” You turned your attention back to Bronte. “The money’s in Daddy’s old office, I a-ain’t know what to do with it—”

“Calm down, the money will be fine. Go on, enjoy yourself.” Bronte played along with your little performance you put on. “What should I do with it? I ain’t never ran a business before.” Bronte tutted his tongue before leading you further into the gardens where all the officials rendezvoused.

“We’ll be back, boys. Help yourselves to some drinks while you’re here” Bronte spoke back to the men as the both of you, alongside your maid, disappeared in the crowd.

“Go find out where that money’s at, Arthur” Dutch wasted no time before turning to Arthur and bringing his voice down to a whisper. Arthur looked over toward him with a practical disbelief.

“Jesus, you ain’t serious? The girl’s daddy just died, now we’re robbing her of her own inheritance”

“Her daddy just died. Meaning that other people are gonna to rob her and, I’m not too sure about you but, I’d rather it be us that gets that money” His voice stained against the low volume he attempted to maintain before lighting a cigar. “I need you to trust me, Morgan, now…” Dutch backed away before tipping his hat to the man. Arthur sighed and made his way inside where the more quiet and intimate conversations took place.

By the time, Mr. Morgan had snuck his way upstairs you’d already been sitting in your father’s office chair shotgun light in your grasp. You had snuck your way around toward the back entrance of your estate which led straight up into the room. You double check the chamber making sure that you were sure to shoot if needed. Growing anxious with nothing but the drowned out voices from outside to distract you, you placed a cigarette to your lips before striking a lonesome match against the underside of your heel.

You’d get through half your cigarette before the soften floorboards creaked from the other side of the door. Quickly, you smothered the stick with the ashes of previous cigarettes your father burned through.

The door crept open and you were slowly met with the deadly end of a revolver and soon after an arm. “I’d put that down if I were you, Mr. Morgan” You stared down the barrel of your shot gun as the man slowly crept from behind the door. “Nobody has to get shot, I’m here to negotiate. Come sit with me, Mr. Morgan”

“Arthur.” He said curtly, clearly fed up with this whole event. He slowly holstered his weapon before seating himself in the chair sat on the opposite side of your desk.

“Arthur Morgan” You let his name slip your lips as you tested it. “You’re quite notorious, you know that?” You spoke clearly and watched him with your gun pointed toward him as you figured him out. “I’ve got family, down in Blackwater, sir. Say, they know all about you.”

“Do they now?” You nodded, slowly as your heel tapped against the wood. “What exactly are ya lookin’ to negotiate, Miss”

“I want to hire your gang as some guns and in turn I’ll keep this and your relation to the Blackwater massacre secret. And, if things play out as I’ve planned, I could probably get those Pinkertons off ya, for a moment anyway” You leaned back into the leather chair before setting your gun off to the side. “I’m tired of listenin’ to these men talk, empty promises followed by another all they is. Leviticus Cornwall for one, Angelo Bronte for another”

“Don’t you have your own men to escort you, why us?” Arthur questioned before leaning back as well, in his wooden seat legs spread and arms crossed. “I ain’t hirin’ y’all on a babysitting job. I need money, gold. I’d be sending y’all on robberies, I need experienced men not no, rich cat on a high horse” You licked your lips before getting desperate. “I’m tryna to buy off an oil plant from Cornwall but, I can’t do that without Bronte keeping the police distracted off of my daddy’s debts. With my daddy dead and me being a woman, my percentages have taken a hit. I can’t pay ‘em both”

“You sure are in a situation—”

“So are you. You need Bronte to trust you and the Pinkertons to fuck off. You need me.” You both stared at one another for a moment before letting your eyes soften. Even though, you’d been mid negotiation, you couldn’t help admiring his blue eyes, warmly lit from the lantern in front of you. God, what you would do just to be able to hold his face in your palms as your thumb rubbed the rosy blemishes of his cheeks.

“You ain’t wrong.”

“I know I ain’t. Now, would you escort me down to your boss, Mr. Arthur Morgan” You spoke sweetly before making your way over to his side and grabbing his arm. You would be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying every second of holding this man. With your one hand wrapped around his elbow and the other gently gripping his bicep, you followed his lead as you both left the room. “You know, you had me fooled back there…playing all helpless” You looked up at the man with a curious gaze mostly because you hadn’t heard the first half of what he was saying to you. “That was a set up, right? There ain’t no money.” You shook your head and smiled up at the bachelor to keep up a friendly appearance as you passed up some guests of yours.

“Bronte wanted to see if y’all were worth trustin’. ‘S nice to know if you lot like robbin’ helpless women” You winked before laughing at the matter only to get a rather dry chuckle from Arthur in return. “It’s alright, I won’t tell a soul, I promise” You placed a reassuring hand to his chest before letting it fall once you both reached the garden. “You know, you’re a handsome fellow, Mr. Morgan. Are you married? I can’t imagine that bein’ easy being in a gang and all.” You started up some small talk as the two of you walked around in search of Dutch.

“I ain’t married, no”

“What about your boss?” You urged.

“Well, he ain’t neither. Got a woman, though…back at camp” They had a woman traveling with them? You held back questioning about her before carrying on. “I take it you don’t, then? No women waitin’ on ya at home?”

“Not in that sense, no” Arthur said plainly as he maneuvered the two of you through the crowd carefully accommodating for you. “Y’all got more women traveling with you boys?” Your eyes brighten with the assumption you made. He nodded and watched as your face lit up. “You should bring ‘em over if this conversation with Mr. Van der Linde goes over well” You spoke outwardly not even thinking about what context the two of you were in currently. “You’re quite odd, Miss” Arthur chuckled before waving Dutch over with his freehand.

“Arthur. Miss (l/n).” Dutch greeted the both of you before visibly growing curious of the atmosphere. Your smiled faded as you grew more serious with the other male.

“Mr. Van der Linde, how would you feel about bein’ business partners?”

[whereisloe]

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

[whereisloe]

[whereisloe]

“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

[whereisloe]

Help Palestine 🇵🇸

Donate

-to familes

• https://gofund.me/e76ffa74 (Youssef Arafat’s family)

• https://gofund.me/51022ac4 (Mohammed Miqdad’s family)

• UN WFP

• https://gofund.me/bf61ae23 (Ahmad Khaled Baloni’s family)

• https://gofund.me/987291fb (Fatma Osama Alhoupi’s family)

• https://gofund.me/3a56487a (The Shanti family)

• https://gofund.me/f9de76f2 ( Leena Abukuwaik’s family)

• https://gofund.me/3663cbcb (Seren Ayesh’s mother)

• https://gofund.me/7d332f8b (Marwa Awni’s family)

(always searching/updating)

Educate Yourself

• https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/nation/2023/12/14/starbucks-why-everyone-boycotting-controversies-explained/71885557007/ (starbucks situation)

• https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/10/middleeast/israel-sde-teiman-detention-whistleblowers-intl-cmd/index.html (detention centers)

• https://bdsmovement.net/Act-Now-Against-These-Companies-Profiting-From-Genocide (boycott)

• https://www.aljazeera.com/where/palestine/ (stay updated)

Help End this Genocide.

they need us.

if anything is incorrect, outdated, or misleading please dm me. i only wish to spread correct and helpful information to assist the people suffering from this genocide.

[whereisloe]

“ weren’t we the stars in heaven ? ”

𝐈. 𝕀𝕀. 𝕀𝕀𝕀.

The Damned

“Quit moving” You spoke quickly as the stern look on your face remained unwavering. Your subject seemed to ignore your comment as he sighed and rested his cheek against his palm watching your focused expression while you added more and more precise strokes to the canvas before shifting your gaze back towards your model. “By the gods” You rolled your eyes. “Astarion!” You gently whinged with a playfully frustrated tone.

“What!” He mimicked your tone and held his hand out in confusion. You knew you’d been picky with his movements and that sitting still for so long was a difficult task but you truly wanted to perfect such a beautiful piece. “Darling, I think we’ve earned ourselves the luxury of a break, hm?” Astarion laid his head down at the foot of the bed as he watched you carefully clean the fine haired brushes with a cloth. You glanced back at your lover peaking from behind the canvas before you brought the brush to the tip of his nose. The offense hadn’t quite registered in his mind until his finger felt the left over residue of the pale red paint that accented his soft skin in your work.

“Oops” You smile as you brought a clean cloth to his face and gently wiped the oil paint from his nose. Millions of snarky remarks filled Astarion’s mind but none were said, he was too taken by you. Especially your smile. You were stunning, beauty graced every feature of your face with no hint of relenting. “There you are” your words wisped breathlessly from your lips. His eyes never left yours as he stared up at you, lovesick eyes full of admiration and longing. His hand was raised slowly making its way towards your cheek but was intercepted not even half of the way. “The sun, my love” In order for you to accurately reflect Astarion’s features you needed the sun as your light. No candle could suffice so, you arranged the curtains in a way that only shine down upon you and your canva as Astarion remained on the bed warmly illuminated by candlelight. “Hold a moment” You, instead, brought your lips to his hand before letting it go. After you stood from the stool you had been working at you went straight for the curtains and pulled the shut.

Before you could even turn your back, Astarion was on you. His hands feeling the curves of your torso up and down as you leaning back into his bare chest. “That’s not necessary, my dear, remember?” His voice was sweet and gentle, teetering the edge of pity but not quite. You’d mouthed the word ‘Oh’ as you felt embarrassed from the lost memory.

“You’re quite the artiste, my dear” He’d quickly change the subject before rocking you back and forth. You laughed at the comment, not taking the vampire seriously. “I’m serious, the man you’ve painted is irresistible” You jokingly rolled your eyes and escaped his grasp to view your work.

“The painting is an insult to my muse’s beauty” Your thumb stroked his cheekbone before cupping it. His red pupils pierced yours, half lidded and dangerous as he pressed his lips to your wrist. “You smell delicious, dear” His words were strained as he breathed deep against your wrist and caught a strong hand against yours, keeping it to his face.

“Are you hungry, Astarion?” You faced him with wondering eyes and grew meek when you remembered Astarion had yet to clothe himself. “You should’ve waken me last night had I known you’d been this hungry”

“I am not hungry” Him starring your neck down had given his lie up almost instantly as he slowly reeled you into himself as he pressed light kisses that burned your delicate skin with passion. His lips trailed up your arm, across your shoulder, then your neck where he remained. He watched the fresh scars his teeth had left two nights earlier as if they’d disappear at any moment. Cold fingers glided over the indents before caressing the bruises formed around it. “Well…Maybe just a little bit” You laughed before grabbing onto Astarion’s shoulder bracing yourself for the lightheadedness.

“Go ahead” You further exposed your neck by pulling back the sheer robe with a welcoming smile. Astarion couldn’t help himself when he caught you gaze, a smile crept up on him before he was able to close the gap separating the two of you. How you felt like heaven on his lips as you kissed back pulling him further down into you by the back of his head.

Unable to contain himself, hands began roughly tugging at the ties of your robe as your teeth clashed amidst his growing aggression. Your lips refused to separate until your bare frame was lifted on to the bed. Astarion made short work of your growing arousal as you could feel him pressed right at your core.

Before you knew it, his teeth sank deep within the curve of your neck. Groans gently resonated in his throat as he fed from you, desperately. You’d play with the short, soft curls on the back of his neck as you felt your body grew heavy and your mind fuzzy. Your head lolled as you stared at the door of your bedroom swearing up and down you heard the sound of metal on wood. Astarion was quick to his feet, he slid on his robe then bent down placing a reeling kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll be back, my love.” You laid there bare and confused as Astarion had vanished past your bedroom door. After you were able to pick your head up without too much of a hassle, you fixed your robe and snuck towards the front of the house. “Astarion?” you voice was small as you called from the top of the foyer, watching as he carefully read a letter in front of the grand front door.

“Mm, yes?” His voice sounded preoccupied as he kept his head low to the paper in front of him as he scaled the stairs back up towards you. “What is it?” you asked this time pressing your cheek against his shoulder as you attempted to read what he held. “I’m needed back at camp. Preparations need to be made.”

“Oh, Then we must—” Astarion cut you words off by placing an arm around you waist as he lead you back toward your room. You both walked back in silence, the ends of your robe trailing behind you as you thought hard about your next words. “Then I must…” Astarion sat you on the bed before kneeling in front of you. You stared down at him, holding his hand to your knee as he looked up with those beautiful red eyes.

Beautiful, sharp, siren eyes full of concern at the moment but, nonetheless still just as riveting. You raised your thumb to sooth his cheek as he laid his head into your thighs. “You must stay, (y/n) dear, we’ve already established that…You must rest your mind” You felt a pit in your stomach open as he rubbed your knuckles. Sometimes, you would forget that you were losing your mind.

The irony of it being just as cruel as its nature. They believe the tadpole is corrupting your memories, in ways that proved detrimental for the group. Once you all reached Baldur’s Gate, Astarion pulled you aside and suggested you return home while the rest of the group handled the elder brain. You never agreed to it and reassured the vampire that you were just fine to fight. But, you wouldn’t remember that. Without your knowledge, you were lied to. Told that you had agreed to resign from the cause by the entire group.

Astarion couldn’t stand the guilt that lying to you caused him but, it was for the better. You’d get eaten alive back out on the battlefield. Overtime, you’d lost your brawn and confidence in yourself. You’d find yourself journaling about your day just to remember if you’d eaten or not. You’d paint, to remember scenes you’d find a deep interest in. When he could, Astarion would join you in your house, encouraging these hobbies even trying to help restore some of which you’ve completely lost by now.

“You will be alright, my sweet” He gave a reassuring kiss to the back of your palm. “And I’ll be back to…check on you”

“Check on me—I mean” You sighed, exasperated with the information. You just shook your head, he’s treating you as though you’re some dependent child or sickly. “I’ll be fine, Astarion. No need to burden yourself with concern.” You shifted forward bringing your foreheads together. “I will write in my journal everyday, I promise you”

“I shall return, soon, my love” Astarion brought both your hands to his lips before standing and placing an open mouth kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your hand fell to the exposed skin of his chest as you returned his advance. “I’ll be waiting” The elf stood up straight, leaving the room with hesitancy tainting his steps. You’d close the door as you heard him make his way towards the neighboring room, that sheltered all his gear and wardrobe.

Later the evening, you’d wake up to Astarion’s gear shuffling as he entered your room. The sun was dim as he came over to your side, bringing a gloved hand to your cheek. “Go back to sleep, (Y/n). There’s a meal prepared for you in the kitchen once you truly wake up” He kissed your forehead.

“Return to me alive, Astarion.” You spoke sternly which only earned you a smug reaction. “And hopefully, tadpole free”

“ weren’t we the salt in the sea ? ”

[whereisloe]

adhd moment

[whereisloe]

Daydreaming about my book:

Writing my book:

[whereisloe]

top 10 biggest lies my friends have told

post that lo’ak story baes i wanna see you blow up

currently my computer is broken so i won’t be writing for a few days 😞 it’s coming soon tho

[whereisloe]

everytime I get a negative covid test I think of the big vaxxed papi tweet

[whereisloe]

“ Now I made it awkward, why did you let me do it? ” 🌬️🌳

farleigh start x reader

childhood best friends troupe - warnings n/a

𓆝. 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

There you were.

Amidst the crowd of a bunch of sweaty, red-faced men. Your smile was beaming as you looked over shoulder, surely making some sort of intense eye contact with the guy behind you. Holding up your hand as you grind your ass against him.

Farleigh scoffed as though it were no surprise his cousin had sunk his filthy talons into you, already. The drink in his hand became heavy as you spun on your heels and tossed your arms over Felix’s neck. You brought your lips to his ear as his hand trailed dangerously low down the small of your back. You didn’t seem to mind it, though.

The people sitting around him in the booth paid no mind to where Farleigh’s attention wavered instead, they regained it by shouting out for him to finish his shot. He complied letting his eyes fall from you and Felix for only a split moment but by the time he’d glance back up, the two of you had disappeared. Just as quickly as you had left, Farleigh let the thought and sight of you slip his mind.

“Farleigh!” You chased after the teen, jumping over rubble and debris in the process. Unrelenting with his speed, Falreigh left you far behind as he disappeared into the abandoned tunnel. “Farleigh! Don’t leave me back here” You shouted even louder as you took your time down the dangerous path that led underneath the highway. Once you reached the bottom, you peered into the entrance and noticed Farleigh had already been seated with his feet pressed up against the other side of the small tunnel. “Asshole” You muttered before ducking into the tunnel mirroring the way he sat but with straight knees, considering your height.

“I had to make sure it was still here” Farleigh had been finicking with something before handing you a lighter. You watched curiously until that ‘something’ was presented before you with an over-enthusiastic “Ta-da!”

“Where did you-” You looked over at the entrance of the tunnel before lowering your voice. “Where did you get this?” You grabbed the joint from his fingers and looked it twice over.

“May have swiped one or two off my dad before he left for his business trip. He kinda just had it laying out” Farleigh said rather nonchalantly as he pulled another out from the khakis he wore. He brought the roll up to his lips before leaning forward, gesturing for you to light the end of his. You did just that before hesitantly bringing yours to your lips. “Well?” Farleigh would further urge you with his tone.

“I’ve never…”

“You’re kidding” He’d replied astonished but moreso, guilty like he felt bad for putting you on the spot like this. “Here, just inhale” You pinched the burning joint he offered and inhaled. Farleigh laughed as you coughed up the remaining smoke from your lungs and laid your head down as your coughs overcame you. “Oh, you’re gonna be fucked up”

“Shut up” You pushed Farleigh over as you stared out the tunnel attempting to soothe the sensation in your throat by swallowing. Farleigh continued to laugh before taking the joint from your possession. Silence over came the two of you as your collective laughter died down. You both took turns taking deep drags from the joint before Farleigh chiefed the rest of it then tossed it. At this point, you both had been lying on your backs in opposite directions. You’d look over to you right watching as farleigh starred intently at the ceiling of the tunnel. The muffled thuds of cars entering and exiting the highway had been the only thing saving the two of you from the deafening silence.

“(Y/n)” His voice was quieter than usual. His tone was gentle as he shifted meeting your gaze. Your faces were so close, you could feel his breath caress your cheeks with every outward breath. You didn’t need hear his next words to start tearing up. You felt your fragile heart break collapse from the words that have yet to come. “Why are you crying?” He was sympathetic and brought a hand to your cheek. You looked around trying to stop from the tears escaping but to no avail. You felt the pain seep in and you took a rather sharp inhale.

“My dad already told me, Farleigh” You croaked through the choked up sobs you tried to hide. Silence, again. You were the first to look away as you thought about your words as best as you could in your sensitive state but, the conversation with your father kept replaying in your head. How he had just casually brought up your best friend of 10 years was suddenly leaving to live with his extended family out of country.

“I’ll write you, everyday. I promise” You shook your head with shut eyes. You couldn’t care less about letters, you were losing the only person you cared for so deeply. “It’s not like I want to do this” he grew defensive at your silence, nervous he was losing you before he could even leave. “(Y/n)…”

You looked over, eyes deadly as they peered into his. Puffy, wet, and red, your eyes watched the one person you’d been planning your whole life with since kindergarten with betrayal. You noticed his eyes had watered too. “Who’s going to take me to junior prom this year” Your question came out hushed and wispy as well as the forced laugh that followed. The attempt at lightening the atmosphere with the stupid question only added to the depressing reality of it all. No junior prom, no homecoming, no graduation, no parties, no more anything. Everything you’d plan to attend with Farleigh had become irrelevant. There was no more ‘Farleigh and I’, no more torturous pining over one another, no more sneaking him into the house, the list goes on.

Farleigh stared hopelessly in love with your gaze. Every bit about you made this entire process just that much harder. You’d sit up as Farleigh was quick to follow. “I’ll call, I’ll write, email—fuck” He let the deep inhale steal his words away as he kept from sobbing in front of you. “Anything. (y/n), anything” He searched your eyes hoping for something to settle his mind as panicked as he seemed. You felt a chill breeze pass you, your school uniform providing little to no relief from the weather as your arms and legs remained exposed. Farleigh took instant note of this and began taking his navy blazer off. “Here. I don’t want you to get sick”

You sniffled in response resisting the urge to wipe your cold, wet nose. Farleigh only ignored this and brought the jacket over your shivering shoulders. “Thanks, Farleigh” As bittersweet as this moment was, Farleigh smiled before pulling away from you. The manner you spoke in had shifted slightly higher and your eyes had a more apparent squint. You felt hazed and horribly unreal as you instinctively leaned closer where as Farleigh had pulled back. “No problem”

He was nervous when you closed more distance than he made soon you’d sloppily fall on his shoulders before bringing yourself up to meet eye to eye with him. Not like you guys haven’t been this close before, as best friends you were bound to have gotten this close. Whether if it were a party or just at some sleepover.

But, this?

Too foreign.

There was a tension present, eased by the drugs but nonetheless there. It would be a lie to say you’ve never felt this way before with your best friend. After all, you were only young. Wanting to explore this deep and complicated relationship you had with Farleigh but, you never acted on it. Too scared that your forwardness would turn friend to stranger.

Your eyes flickered down to his lips as you slowly scooted yourself closer to him. A hand traveled up to his neck as you tried to egg him on, not wanting to be the one to initiate the first kiss. Farleigh gave into the force pulling him into you. Your foreheads meant only heating up the encounter as you both gasped for air simultaneously realizing the breath you two had held. Your heart was beating horribly fast as Farleigh placed both his hands on either side of your face and tilted his head up now bring your noses together.

“Farleigh, please kiss me” The choked up words fell out as a whine once your free hand fell on his chest feeling that his heart had been beating just as fast as yours. Once he got his green light, Farleigh came on strong. As though, he was starved from your lips. He pushed you back onto your ass as he tried pushing himself further into you, as though the kiss he only just started wasn’t enough. In response, you tossed both your arms over his shoulders and leaned back until you were fully on the ground and he was hovered over your body. The kiss was sloppy but welcomed. You couldn’t think of anything more invigorating than the moment your teeth would scrape up against each other showing how desperate you both had been for this moment.

You’d let your body do the thinking from now as your hand travelled towards his waist only to pull him into you as he complied. He laid in between your legs keeping himself from completely crushing with his arm planted parallel to your face. You were the first to separate as you found yourself gasping for air. His thumb caressed your cheek as you two stared deeply at one another. You hadn’t noticed but, streaks of tears helplessly fell from your eyes. There were a million words behind your eyes but, none that could make it to the surface even if you tried. “Don’t go—”

“I love you” You felt your mouth go dry at his words.

You felt like your heart was taken right from out of your chest as he spoke so gently to you. He was cruel. Farleigh was cruel. What were you supposed to do with this? He’s going to leave you a broken mess in America while he goes to live off with his even richer aunt and uncle, soon to forget you.

You wanted the words to come out. You needed to tell him you felt the same.

“I’ll come back for you, I promise” But you couldn’t. Not a word.

He laid to your side but kept his legs intertwined with yours as he brought his voice down to a whisper.

He spoke but no sound came from it. A lost memory in the archives of your mind. You felt nothing but pain as you woke up to the deafening sound of your alarm clock. No longer seventeen, in america with your best friend, instead in oxford housing lying in the mess of fluffed blankets and pillows. “Fuck…” You sighed before tossing your legs over the end of your bed, rubbing your eyes.

You’d go about your day normally. Getting ready, going to class, talk to some friends in passing and eventually settle down at the library for some studying. With all your work you had spread messily across the table, you felt yourself sink further into an unmotivated state. “(Y/n), what a coincidence” You heard a rather familiar voice sound from behind you but, when you turned you could hardly recognize the face. “Uh, hi” you said rather conspicuously as the man approached your table. “Did we meet at the party, last night or something” you asked a bit fed up with the work in front of you, indulging in the distraction.

“Meet? Darling, we were practically fucking on the dance floor”

You scoffed amused at his wording but even moreso by his optimism. You may have been a bit of fun last night but, the likeliness of you bringing someone back to your dorm was zero. “Well, I don’t think I caught your name amidst the “fucking” on the dance floor” You gave his a sideways glance as he pulled out the chair beside you.

“Felix. You must be from America, no?” You nodded at his obvious comment before turning in your seat to face him. “I wonder what gave it away?” You replied sarcastically as you held out your hands in feigned curiosity. “Not very many of us up here in Oxford?”

“Americans? There’s a decent amount that come up here—”

“No, Felix” You laughed at his unintentional ignorance when he gawked in realization. You held out a hand as he worked up an apology. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting familiarity when coming up here, my parents just thought it would be nice to get out of the states for a while. I had the grades, the money, all I needed was to leave home. Find out what I really wanted in life, or whatever my mom said” You leaned closer to Felix, resting your head in your palm as you did so.

There was something to him that drew you in. He was handsome, sure. But, it was something deeper. You could tell he had a similar interest in you, you made him nervous from how close you were. His eyes darted down to his hands but quickly back up to you as he maintained his composure.

“You have any plans tonight?” He asked not backing down from your intense gaze. You grinned up at him as you thought on the question before shaking your head, well knowing you had left your friends hanging on going to a pub tonight. Surely, they wouldn’t mind plus, this way you’re making more connections. “If you’re up for it, we were planning on heading up to the pub. Me and a couple of my mates, that is.” You nodded seemingly considering the idea.

“Alright, I’ll meet you. What time?”

“Eight, at the latest” Felix’s eyes hungrily scoped your body as you ran your foot up and down his calf. You gave him doe eyes before speaking up. “I’ll see you then, Felix” You quit messing with him and turned back towards your work giving him one last glance when he whispered a quick ‘see ya’ before returning his chair and leaving. You smirked to yourself, slightly giddy that you had such an effect on people.

“ Now, let’s keep it awkward ”

𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝